All language subtitles for White Gold - 02x01 - The Past Does Not Equal the Future_track8_[eng]

Maybe this is important,
Dr. Brown, I don't know...

Ever since Nat was born,
I've had this recurring dream.

I'm old, sitting in my chair.

I'm not sure which one
of us creaks the most.

Sunlight beams through the roof,

the warm breeze drifts in
from the garden,

and Nat plays Bach on the piano
one last time for her daddy.

And I'm overwhelmed with this feeling
that, if everything was to end...

I'd have spent no happier seconds
on earth

than in this perfect stolen moment

in my conservatory.

I mean, it would make the perfect
music room, wouldn't it, Trish?

Yes, it would. Can we afford it?

Well, I mean, after that pitch, perhaps
the question is, can we afford not to?

- [laughs]
- Well, like I said, Ralph,

the finance takes care of itself.

Now, if I could just get you to sign.

Absolutely. [laughs]

Thank you. Yeah.

Great.

I didn't know your daughter played.
What grade is she?

- Oh, she's top, top grade.
- What, grade eight?

I thought grade eight was the top grade.

It is for most people. Look,
I better let you get on with your day.

Like I said, I will fast-track
the conservatory

so you can start enjoying
every beam of sunlight

this gorgeous summer has to offer us.

- Oh, fantastic.
- How exciting.

- Ooh!
- Oh, Dad!

Come in. Quick. Dad!

- Uh, where do you think you're going?
- Out.

Well, thank you
for the packed information bulletin.

Make sure you're back for tea.

Nat, sweetheart, if the couple over the
road ask, can you say you play piano?

- As if.
- Where've you been?

Saying hello to the new neighbors.

♪ If I were to say to you
Can you keep a secret? ♪

♪ Would you know just what to do
or where to keep it? ♪

♪ Then I say I love you
Foul the situation ♪

♪ Hey, girl, I thought we were
the right combination ♪

[Vincent] In the eight months
that Essex's answer to Al Capone

had been in charge of Cachet,
there's been a lot of changes.

We moved showroom, for one.

Believe it not,
a fire broke out at the last one.

[blowing]

The cause... completely unknown.

And our new showroom was clearly
doubling up as a nocturnal base

for some of Ronnie's
more primitive criminal affairs.

Either that or he was running
an S&M playhouse after dark.

Little token of my appreciation.

[Vincent] Also, instead of cash,

Ronnie insisted on paying our bonuses
in reclaimed goodies

from his debt collection business.

Congratulations, well done.

[Vincent] To be honest, I'd have walked
by now if it wasn't for the small matter

of £50,000 that Ronnie insisted
on me paying back to the business.

I guess you lot might call this karma
for stitching up Walshy.

Luckily our salesmen don't believe in
such supernatural bollocks like karma,

fate, morality.

They tend to be a handicap
to what we do.

The business itself was still booming,
mainly thanks to the invention

of this little beauty,
the PVCu double-glazed conservatory.

[Vincent] There was only
one minor downside.

For all Walshy's faults,
he did make top-notch windows.

Since he'd left,
we had to use new suppliers,

and the quality of our products
was dropping faster

than Michael Jackson's facelift.

It's not the second,
it's the third time you've been round.

I completely understand.

[Vincent] Meanwhile the other half
of Cachet's own dynamic duo

was beginning to accept his fate
in the world of sales.

Peak personal performance.

It's a set of technologies designed
to help you take control of your life,

mentally, physically,
emotionally and financially.

Now, who wants to tell me the story?

You, sir, in the front row making notes.

- Uh, sorry?
- 'Cause we've all got a story, right?

Me, I was married at 16, first love.

He was captain
in the Manchester United under-18s.

Problem was it wasn't
just United he was scoring for.

He was shagging everything
in Manchester with a pulse.

So I found myself divorced at 21,

and I left that marriage
with zero qualifications,

zero self-esteem and zero effing clue
what the future held.

I took me last 300 quid,
and I booked on one of these courses.

So I was you, sat there, day one,
not a clue what to expect,

praying that the loud American onstage
didn't point at me

and ask me what my story was.

And I think I was just about to leave,

when I heard something
that hit me, bam!

It's like a bucket of cold water,
and that message was this:

The past does not equal the future.

One month later,
I got me first job in sales.

Six months after that,
I was headhunted by Everest Windows

to run their northwest operation.

A few weeks after that,
my ex broke his leg in three places

and had to retire from football.
Yes, you are allowed to cheer.

[all cheering]

So, Martin, what's your story?

I left the band of a well-known pop star

just before he had
a massive number-one hit.

Ouch. Step away from the past, Martin.
What do you want out of this?

- I wanna become better at selling.
- And?

I feel like my default setting
is acceptance.

I need to start taking control
of my life.

I wanna become more assertive.

And you will make that happen.
Right, who's next?

Gentleman at the back. Tommy?

It's Tony. They fucked the badge up.

- Walshy?
- What do you want from this, Tony?

Well, if life has taught me one thing,
it's that salesmen, like hemorrhoids,

are massive pains in my fucking ass
that I could well do without.

Okay. And what are you
hoping to get from this course?

I wanna become one.

- A salesman, not a hemorrhoid.
- [laughter]

Maybe a Jacuzzi,
put a little champagne on ice.

- The little shit's up next.
- Where'd you get hold of this, Carol?

A friend of mine wanted to try one
of those new video-dating agencies.

- A friend?
- [man] Okay, where do I start?

- I'm Brian, I'm 28 years old.
- What the fuck?

I don't know what I'm looking for,
really, I...

I suppose what I'm not looking for
is a big 30-stone monster

that can't stop thinking
about eating food. [laughs] Yeah.

- Good to put that out there first.
- Oh, special interests?

Well, I... I like fun, having fun.

I suppose I'm looking
for someone who likes having fun.

Oh, wow, Brian, you're such an enigma.

I never thought I'd meet another human
who was interested in fun.

You've probably already noticed
I have incredibly deep brown eyes.

I've been told that
makes me seem mysterious.

By who? The police?

I think it's vile, married men
preying on desperate, vulnerable,

single women like me. My friend.

I've got a good mind
to show this to Maureen.

- Who?
- Thyroid.

Finally, um, I have no history
of domestic violence,

a clean driving license.
I do have a cat allergy,

but I'm willing to take
an antihistamine for the right woman.

Just to clarify that is no,
N-O, history of domestic violence.

- Don't even know why I brought that up.
- Unbelievable!

This... this is a violation
of my basic human rights!

Those protests would carry more weight

if they weren't coming
from a philandering shit bag.

- She's got a point, mate.
- Look, it's not what you think.

She's left me. Okay? Yeah?

So do me a favor and just bloody well
leave it alone, will you?

[Vincent] As an indirect result of getting
hooked on Brian's amphetamine-based

slimming pills, Maureen had started
hitting her local aerobics class.

- [upbeat pop music plays]
- One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

And one, two, three, four...
[breathing rhythmically]

One, two, three...

Okay, and down.

And have a bit of...

[Vincent] As well as getting thighs
like Jane Fonda's,

she was also getting
extra one-on-one tuition...

[laughter]

...in the art of home lesbionics.

[screams]

[Vincent] Fitzpatrick was
too embarrassed to tell us

he turned Maureen gay, so he moved
out of the house and into his shed.

♪ You spin me right round, baby
Right round ♪

♪ Like a record, baby
Right round, round, round ♪

[sniffling]

Look, it's probably for the best. I mean,
you said yourself there were problems.

Let me make you a nice cup of tea
to say sorry.

I mean, don't get me wrong,
we despise each other,

but it's like when I had
that cyst removed last year.

It was fucking agony at the time,
and it definitely had to go.

But even now, when I look
at myself in the mirror,

I just feel like there's
someone else staring back at me.

- I thought that cyst was on your asshole.
- It was.

Why are you staring at your asshole
in the mirror, Brian?

- That's the only way you can see it.
- Fair enough. Anyway,

I've got something
that might cheer you boyses up.

Bumped into Walshy the other day.
He's getting back in the business.

W-Windows?
Is that a fucking typo?

Well, it's certainly
a unique selling point.

Britain's first double-glazing company
with a stutter.

- He's pronouncing it as "W Windows."
- That's just as fucking ludicrous.

Guess I'll have to put him
out of business again.

Was he tapping you out to sell for him?

No, no, that's the best part.
He's gonna be doing his own selling.

- [laughs]
- I cannot think of anyone less suitable

to sell windows to the public
than that fucking lunatic,

present company excepted,
of course, lavatory.

Oh, you've chirped up.
I think the "shit salesman" jokes

might be slightly past their sell-by date.

I've out-sold you
for the past three weeks.

Oh, really?

Come see me when you've posted the
numbers I do over a 12-month period,

then we'll talk, sunshine.

The past does not equal the future, Fitzpatrick.

For those of you wondering is there
a downside to all this new-found success,

may I present exhibit A?

A dinner party at the new neighbors.

[doorbell rings]

- Emily!
- [girl] Yeah?

- James!
- [boy] Yeah?

Robbie and Nat are here.
Do you want to go up?

[Nat] I'd prefer to stay down here
and talk with the adults.

Sweet pea, if Patricia and Ralph
had wanted a disturbing presence

at the dinner table,
we'd have brought a Ouija board.

When are you gonna grow up?

And, uh, magazine publishing,
how did you...

- how did you find your way into that?
- Um, it was a colleague of Vincent's

- that actually offered me the job.
- I wouldn't call him a colleague.

Oh, intriguing. What's the story?

Well, he's actually a very good boss,

but him and Vincent
don't really see eye-to-eye.

That's because I'm three foot taller
than him, and he's a fucking midget.

- [laughs]
- You don't approve, Vincent.

Well, luckily I don't need
Vincent's approval.

But despite what he's been saying,
you've actually been very supportive.

- Haven't you, baby?
- Now, listen, apologies for, uh...

for talking shop, Vincent,
but I just wanted to confirm,

it's Monday that the fitters are coming?

Yeah, let me know when it's convenient,
and, uh, I'll make it happen.

- Great.
- What's this?

The new conservatory.

- Oh.
- Ah...

So, Robbie, your mum tells me
you're taking the 11-plus.

Yeah. Even though
I don't wanna go to grammar school.

It's for the posh ponces and gays.
Ain't that right, Dad?

- Absolutely.
- Robbie.

- That's where Emily and James go.
- I mean, absolutely not.

Well, don't worry, Rob, if your
actual results are as bad as your mocks,

you won't have to suffer the indignity
of a first-rate education.

If he's as, uh, bright as he seems,

there are always other avenues
to getting selected.

No point being a school governor

if you don't get a little sway
in these matters.

- Patricia, you're a governor?
- Mm-hmm.

Wow.

- Right, that's it, you're dead.
- Ooh, I'm scared, Rob.

Did you have to sell them
a bloody conservatory?

Seeing as they already
opened their windows, yes.

Don't get fucking cute with me.

Sweetheart, they said they needed
an extra room, I offered to help.

What was I supposed to do,
send them to Walshy?

I'm warning you,
don't shit on our doorstep.

I like it here. I like having neighbors
that haven't been to prison

or aren't sex offenders.
Don't fuck this up for us.

Ah, Brendan,
just the man I wanted to see.

I need you to fast-track
a conservatory for my new neighbors.

I told them you'd get started next week.

Well, unless they want a conservatory
built on the Isle of Wight,

they'll have to fucking wait.
I'm off on holiday Monday.

I don't remember seeing a holiday form
for Brendan. Do you, Carol?

- Didn't know we had holiday forms.
- You're not fucking going.

Hang on. Until I start receiving
a company pension

or getting paid in anything other
than cash by this firm,

- I'll do as I fucking well please.
- Okay, let me put this another way.

You either get my neighbor's
conservatory built next week,

or you can holiday
on the Isle of Sacked forever.

- Okay, fine.
- Good.

Carol's got the details,
I'll tell them to expect you Monday.

No, I meant okay, fine, sack me.

Walshy's looking for fitters.
He called me last week.

You can fit the fucking
glorified porch yourself.

I'll have driven him out of business
by the time you get back

from that stinking fucking
caravan holiday.

Well, I suppose I won't be bringing you
back any colored sand now then, will I?

The great British job center.

Chances are, if you're looking
for a vocation in life,

it's not gonna be advertised
on a four-inch card

in one of these graveyards
for the unemployable.

Excuse me, sir.
Are you available to work today?

- Depends.
- Depends on what?

It depends on what it is.

I'm not gonna drive a van
off the Dartford Bridge

just 'cause someone's paying me, am I?

Well, that's a very wise mantra
to live your life by.

I can tell I'm dealing
with a high-caliber individual.

- So, what is it?
- I represent Cachet Windows and Doors.

We're currently running
an induction course

for trainee fenestration engineers.

- What's fenestration?
- The science of windows.

- Have you got any carpentry skills?
- No.

- Can you lay bricks?
- No.

Do you have any experience at all
in the building trade?

- I can dig holes.
- That will do.

Vincent Swan, pleased to meet you.
Come with me.

Hello, Patricia, love.
This is Barry, he's our top fitter.

I had to pull him from another job,
but neighbors do come first.

Oh, well, why don't you come in
and get yourself settled, Barry?

- I'll put the kettle on.
- My name's not Barry. It's Derek.

Yeah, it's a nickname.
"Barry who ain't Barry."

His old apprentice gave him it,
and it sort of stuck, didn't it, Bazza?

- Oh, well, sugar, Barry?
- Four and a half, please.

Right.

I don't know how
to build a fucking conservatory.

Well, there's no better place
to learn than on the job.

It's easy. You lay the foundation,

knock through to their lounge
and then piece it all together.

There's even an instruction manual.
It's like a giant Lego set.

Me doctor told me
to avoid stressful situations.

Fuck me, Barry, would an extra 20 quid
help relieve some of that stress for you?

- Mm.
- Right. Well, I'll pop back in an hour

and see how you're getting on.
Everything you need's in the van.

Call the showroom if you need me.

[Vincent] The first rule of sales warfare
is know your enemy,

so I sent the boys
on a little reconnaissance mission.

Yeah, state of that.

No, it's not bollocks, it's science.

The sealed unit reduces the...

There's no need for that!

[both laugh]

You're missing out, mate!

Oh, for fu... Why didn't you tell me you
were moving 45 fucking minutes ago?

Next time you wanna waste
someone's time, call the Samaritans!

[laughter]

[Brian] This is gonna be easier
than we all thought.

[Martin] Yeah. I know.

[phone rings]

[line rings]

- [phone rings]
- Good afternoon, W. Windows?

Oh, hello, is that W-Windows?

Uh, yes, sir,
but it's pronounced "W. Windows."

Oh, right, oh,
I was after W-Windows, never mind.

No, sir, it is W-Windows, but it's pron...

- How can I help you today, sir?
- [laughs]

Well, I was just wondering,
do you only do w-windows,

or do you do d-doors as well,
you d-daft w-wanker?

- [laughs]
- What? What?!

[laughter]

Oh, shit, he's coming out!

[laughter]

Come on, go!

[music plays on car radio]

[music stops]

- Sam, can I have a quick word?
- Yeah, of course.

It's about the new conservatory.

I have left several messages
at the showroom,

but no one's called me back yet.

Um, we're having
a few teething problems.

- Teething problems?
- Hmm, a spot of leakage.

Some of the windows open inwards.

I mean, nothing that can't be tweaked,
I'm sure.

Right. Well, um, Vincent's been away
for a few days on a training course,

but he'll be mortified when I tell him.

In fact, why don't you come to us
for dinner tomorrow

to make up for the inconvenience?

And I promise I'll make sure Vincent

gets those bloody tweaks sorted
before then.

Marvelous. Thank you, neighbor.

Vincent, you wanker.

As predicted, not only is there
a steaming great turd on our doorstep,

but as fucking always,
I'm the one left to clean it up.

Honey, I'll take care of it.

The customer always
thinks they're right.

It's my job to convince them otherwise.

It's hardly a matter of opinion,
is it, Vincent?

They've either got a bloody leaking
conservatory or they haven't.

Exactly.

Look, don't worry. I'll tell Pat
all our conservatories leak at first.

They just need a bit of time to settle in.

I mean, you couldn't have said
anything more worrying.

- Barry. Barry, mate.
- It's Derek.

Derek the newly qualified fitter,
don't you mean?

Congratulations, you've made
the grade. Now, come on.

I need you to take a look
at that test job you did for me.

- I can't, I've gotta sign on.
- No, because that will be

social-security fraud
now that you've got a job.

Wouldn't it, Bazza? Chop-chop.

Yeah, you need to switch
the opening window units around,

straighten up the hinges on the door
and sort out that leak.

And how do I do that?

If I knew the answer
to that particular question,

I wouldn't be paying fitters
100 quid a day, would I, Barry?

Derek. And you pay me 50 quid a day.

At this juncture in your career,
yes, because you're an apprentice.

You do a stellar job here, and I'll
make you a fully-fledged fitter.

Great. Thank you.

- I still don't know what I'm doing.
- Use your initiative.

And when that fails,
plug every fucking joint with mastic.

That should hold long enough
to get Robbie in a top school.

[Vincent] Meanwhile,
something was seriously wrong

in the estates of Corringham.

I believe you asked for someone
to come round to talk you through

- our range of windows and doors.
- Oh, sorry. I...

I saw your colleague yesterday.

Well, seeing as though
we're back in the area,

I might as well come in
and give you a free quotation.

Do you remember the name of the rep
who called round?

Yeah, it was Joe.

So did Joe leave any
of our leaflets with you?

I signed the order yesterday.

Okay, well, if you're sure,
I'll cancel the appointment.

Okay, bye. Traitor.

- [man] What did you call me?
- Oh, sorry, I thought you'd hung up.

[man] You're the least professional...

[sighs] What's going on?
That's the fifth cancellation today.

I'll tell you what's going on.
Some prick called Joe at W. Windows

has been cold-calling
every fucking house on our patch

- and stealing our leads.
- Well, it's definitely not Walshy.

He couldn't sell a 12-year-old's
knickers to a kiddie fiddler.

Well, I'm not having this.
It's about time I introduced myself

to this Joe goon. I mean, if we haven't
got honor amongst salesmen,

- what have we got?
- Incredible levels of self-delusion?

Yeah, fuck you, Martin.

- Hello.
- Yeah, just give me a minute.

No need. I'm here
for the organ grinder, not the monkey.

- He just happens to look like an ape.
- Sorry, sir, he's not here.

Can I help?

Yeah, you can pass a message on
to your boss.

- Tony Walsh?
- Yeah.

And for the underhand shit-for-brains
pond life he's got working for him,

if they want a war, they better
be prepared for it to go nuclear.

If it does go nuclear,
bagsy sharing a bunker with you.

[laughs] Just pass on the message.

- Who shall I say called by?
- He'll know.

He may well do.

What do I call this immaculately
dressed, handsome young firebrand

- stood before me?
- Are you fucking with me?

Joanne Scott. Head of sales.

Thanks for asking,
and no, not fucking with you.

Not yet anyway.

- You're the fucking lead thief.
- The penny finally drops.

Well, if you're the finest Cachet
has to offer,

it's no wonder
I'm cleaning up round town.

Oh, I haven't even begun
to get warmed up yet, sweetheart.

Oh, I know. I know.
Well, you're Mr. Thermonuclear.

The man with a red-hot missile,
ready to wipe me out.

Maybe, before we unleash mutually-assured
destruction on one another,

we should go out with a bang.

Come on, Vincent, you understand the
first rule of warfare better than anyone.

Know your enemy.

What are you doing?

I'm giving you the opportunity
to know every inch of your enemy.

Right now.

I don't think so.

Even if I wasn't happily married...

- Sure you are.
- ...to the most sensational woman

on the planet, it's not happening.

- Oh, it is.
- [laughs]

You've got some front,
I'll give you that.

I mean, maybe not today
or the next day,

but trust me, it's happening.

Now is that an intercontinental
ballistic missile you keep your pocket,

or are you pleased to see me?

[door opens]

Ah. I see you've met
my new head of sales, Vincent.

Had to shell out a fucking fortune
to get her onboard,

but it'll be worth every penny
to wipe that smarmy smile

from off your smug fucking chops.

Now, if you wouldn't mind fucking off,

we've got a successful
window business to run.

Toodle-pip.

At least with the dating agency, there's
a paper trail in case I go missing.

[laughs] Sorry.

I don't want you to get the impression
that I only picked you

because you're the least likely
to kill me.

Well, I do, obviously,
but can we just drop this subject?

- I literally haven't said a word.
- Sorry. I'm really nervous.

I want you to know I feel really shitty

about showing everyone
your tape, Brian.

Oh, look, it's fine, okay?

I understand you thought
I was cheating on Maureen.

Who? Oh. Thyroid.

So... here we are.

Yeah.

What is it that you do?

- What do you mean?
- For a living.

- What are you doing?
- Oh, small talk.

But you know what I do.

Well, it's really hard
being on a blind date

with someone you know really well.
You ask me something.

All right, um,
have you ever been in love?

Well, I'm not answering
personal questions.

Okay, uh...

- Do you wanna go home?
- Yeah, please.

Probably just chalk this one up
as a bad idea, shall we?

Agreed.

Do you think we should have
a compatibility shag at least?

- What?
- Sex, Brian.

We might discover some
as-yet-undetected physical chemistry.

Yeah, right, yeah,
well, I mean, you know,

I guess it's always a good idea
to rule these things out, or in.

You never know, we might, uh...

Oh, we won't. [laughs]

But I haven't really
got anything else to say

on the feedback form
for the video agency.

While I can hardly expect a medal
for not cheating on my wife,

I am allowed
to enjoy being good for once.

Hello, my gorgeous. Mwah!

- Honestly, what would you say this is?
- A prawn cocktail.

Yes! Right, come and have a look
at my beef Wellington.

All right, but we'll have to be quick,
the Browns will be here in half an hour.

- [both] Mm!
- That's actually pretty funny for you.

- I aim to please.
- Good, because I could do

- with some pleasing.
- Yeah?

[phone rings]

This had better be good news.
Hi, Pat.

Whoa, what? I'll be right over.

[Ralph] In what world
would anyone think

that this is an acceptable finish,
Vincent?

It looks like a wedding cake.

Hmm, did you raise
any of this with Barry?

I would have, but Barry was sat outside
in the garden crying when I got back,

so I sent him home.

Yeah, sometimes the mastic
can react with the polycarbonate

and raise up like this. It usually
rectifies itself in a few hours.

Sorry, did you not hear
what I just said about Barry?

And the bloody door doesn't open now!

Ah, yeah.
You just need to adjust the hinge.

You can fix that
with a screwdriver, Ralph.

- But that's not my responsibility.
- Well, technically, it kind of is.

If you didn't raise these problems
with our fitter,

then contractually, you've
accepted the remedial works.

But I'll tell you what.
In the spirit of neighborly love,

I'll get Barry to pop
over in the morning.

No, no, no, no, no, uh,
Barry is not coming back, okay?

He's having a nervous breakdown.

- [water dripping]
- And it still fucking leaks! [screams]

Why don't I give you and Patricia
a few minutes to cool down?

[Patricia screams, shouts]

What the fuck is happening, Vincent?

Bad news, baby.
Pat's come down with a terrible bug.

All the more beef Wellington for us.

[Patricia sobbing]

So how was that?

I mean, nothing, nada. [laughs]

Which is weird 'cause I can usually
get satisfaction from anything.

Even that teddy.
But this just felt like nothing.

What did you think?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, same, probably.

Um, maybe we should
give it another go.

Treat that one as a warm-up.

Oh, no, Brian. Oh!

Nah, some experiments
should never have happened.

Like... Frankenstein.

Or Elton John's hair transplant.

[upbeat music plays]

♪ Open up your eyes ♪

♪ Then you realize ♪

♪ Here I stand
with my everlasting love ♪

♪ Need you by my side ♪

♪ Girl, to be my bride ♪

♪ You'll never be denied
everlasting love ♪

♪ From the very start
open up your heart ♪

♪ Feel that you're part
of everlasting love ♪

♪ Need a love to last forever ♪

♪ Need a love... ♪