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THE AMERICAN
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I am an American.
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My name is John d'Agostino.
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I am American.
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My name is John d'Agostino.
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My work is in sculpture.
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I decided to come to Paris
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because I was living badly in New York.
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But since my arrival,
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nothing had changed.
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I still went to sleep
when others were waking up.
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I felt lost.
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I didn't even have a friend
to share a drink.
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Check and mate.
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Just like that I felt better.
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A Parisian had approached me.
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We had played together,
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and I had won.
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I had quietly rediscovered
the joy of being alive.
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I was happy.
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A week, or maybe a month.
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Happy to get up early,
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and wander in the sun before work.
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Filled with such love for the city,
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that I regretted
that I wasn't born here.
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I reached the last of my dollars.
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The last of the last.
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There was no question
of returning to New York.
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Paris was my home.
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Whatever was thrown at me
I had to stay here.
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The depression began.
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I had less and less satisfaction
working on my sculptures.
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I began to even find them terrible.
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I looked for an easy job
without much commitment,
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because I was hungry.
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And my laundry was dirty.
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Mostly I spent time borrowing money,
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which I never returned.
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Scared of solitude,
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I spent time
with the Americans of Montparnasse.
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Walter was a happy-go-lucky guy
who had fallen on hard times.
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Lefty was lazy, bored
and without passion.
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Bud, after ten years in Montparnasse,
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had forgotten that
no-one cared for his paintings.
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They all irritated me, because
I was starting to resemble them.
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To spend all day in cafes.
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Saying the same things.
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Like we were living
in the time of Hemingway.
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Then providence helped me
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a little bit out of my hole.
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I won 5000 francs,
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with which I resolved to woo Anna.
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The morning
after the dinner, Charlie,
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who was going home to America,
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gave me his job
as a newspaper vendor.
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Suddenly I had a job
to support myself.
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And a wife.
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It was maybe
the start of something new.
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Sculpture!
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It was the third time that Anna
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had tried to awaken
that old memory.
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It was ten o'clock.
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Like every night since a long time,
I dressed up.
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To do my job.
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My route
is empty of notable events.
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Or surprises.
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I was required to visit twice
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twenty locations
where Americans drank.
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I constantly try
to maintain my dignity,
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In the company of my compatriots,
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and their tips.
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Needless to say,
I drank too much beer.
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Just to reach
a light-headedness.
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Which I pursued every night.
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Because I needed it.
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I have become a familiar face,
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to every night-owl on my route.
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Strangers talk to me like a friend,
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and offer me drinks.
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My only pleasure is to see Walter.
81
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Older and poorer than ever.
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But with such style.
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Every night I gift him a paper.
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Because he is a friend.
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Every night is like this.
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Until two o'clock in the morning.
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My work is finished.
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I am not tired and undoubtedly,
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I will not sleep before sunrise.
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I am unhappy.
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But I don't even care anymore.
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I work four hours per day.
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The rest of the time I am free.
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Free in this city which I love.
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And I do nothing with that freedom.
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I eat, I sleep, I float around...
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One day something has to happen.
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So that I find out why I was created.
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In a week I will be thirty years old.
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Next week,
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I will be thirty years old.
6984
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