All language subtitles for S01E04 - Equality March (2023) WEB-DL 1080p [Ukr.Pol] [Sub Ukr.Eng] [Hurtom]_track7_[eng]

I told Bogdan
that Tatars were storming Warka.

It’s at least 24 hours round trip.

So I have the smithy to myself
while he’s gone.

I have to think of a new scheme
because I’m running out of town names.

Hm.

The mourning period
for my brother is over.

Yah!

Jakub!

Stanisław’s only been gone 72 hours.

You’re right.
He’s just run away. It’s too soon.

He’ll be back any minute
once he’s calmed down.

Stazcek’s disappearance
made us all so very sad.

It also reopened
the never-ending discussion

of who will inherit the throne.

It comes down to me and Aniela.

But that silly girl
doesn’t stand a chance in hell.

Aniela’s obviously obsessed
with that simple peasant.

She could get banished
for being so stupid.

That’s why I’m gonna play Cupid.

Hm.

I’m a poet, and I didn’t know it.

Nice one.

ANNUAL INFIDEL CENSUS
A.D. 1670

Welcome to our annual infidel census.

Poland is a tolerant country.

You are free to practice whatever form
of deviant religion you choose,

but it is my duty to inform all of you

that you’ll burn
in the depths of hell if you choose wrong.

We’ll start with you, innkeeper.

I’m a follower of the Jewish faith,
just like last year.

And just like last year, I’m disappointed
to see you still wearing those curls.

You’re excused.

Who’s next?

- Who the hell are you?
- My name’s Maciej. I work for you.

The blacksmith’s apprentice.
We’ve met already.

And your religion?

- I’m Orthodox.
- Hmm.

I have a new system.
It’s a frowny face if you follow Shabbat,

and a pouty face for Orthodox.

I see no difference.

It’s quite distinct. This is a Jew.

“I'm sad
because I’m living a lie."

This is an Orthodox.

“I don’t want your religion.
I want to live a lie.'“

- It’s all in the eyebrows.
- Oh, the brilliance of this boy.

All right. Next peasant.

Who do you worship?

- I don’t have a religion, sir.
- You don’t?

I’ve tried to develop
my metaphysical side, my lord,

but it’s never really worked out for me.
I hope that won’t be a problem.

Burn, atheist! Burn!

Huh.

Uh, perhaps I could try to find a religion
for next year, if it’s a problem.

- No.
- It’s a free country,

but we’ll be forced
to put you to death for your beliefs.

Atheists are marked
with a skull and crossbones.

I was confused.
There’s been a mistake.

- On your part?
- Yes, sir. I’m not an atheist.

You’re just changing your statement
because it’ll get you burned at the stake.

I was nervous. What I meant was...
that my beliefs run deep.

What are these beliefs of yours?

The, um...

The Brown-Hatter.

Hm. The Brown-Hatter, huh?
And what does this Brown-Hatter teach you?

He teaches us... that...

we should wear hats.

And what does your deity promise
for the afterlife?

After death, if we have lived a good life,

we will be rewarded...

with lots of spuds.

Mm. And the sinners?

In the mud and no spuds.

Enough. No more spreading
your heathen beliefs.

I think we can let this one slide.
It’s... small potatoes.

Very clever, Father.

And besides,
I’ve always wanted to draw a fedora.

- Go in peace.
- Albert!

That Brown-Hatter stuff
and the potatoes...

It was beautiful.

What’s your pronoun?

- Marianna, have you seen my dad?
- No.

Marianna!

Have you seen Jan Paweł?

Has Stazcek come home?

I’m avoiding my wife and daughter,

because there’s a March for Equality
scheduled for tomorrow.

It’s a ceremonial procession
that brings together all of our infidels.

- There’s only one problem.
- Dad needs to approve the parade permit.

Surely you meant to say
that he must deny it.

Our opinions differ, Mother,
but he must say yes to the march.

He must say a hard no.

Why are you acting so immature?

No means no, Aniela.

But this needs a yes.

Come on in, Andrzej.
Make yourself at barn.

My only hope
to solve my dilemma is

this old fart, Andrzej.

If he is the first one to veto the march,

I won’t be forced to choose
between Zofia and Aniela.

I just can’t let on
that I care about this equality crap.

Luckily, I’m a cunning man.

Andrzej, we both know
we don’t have much in common,

which is why I want to start
with something light, of no importance.

I’m wondering if you’ve decided
to approve the infidel parade.

- What’s your decision?
- About what?

- Are you gonna support them?
- Support what?

The March for Equality.

Is someone having a march?

- Don’t play dumb. You brought it up first.
- I guess I forgot.

So many bigger issues to deal with.

I’ve barely given it a second thought.

It’s your call.

We both need to make a decision

since we each own half the village,
don’t we?

Except your half’s bigger than mine.

All right, then.

Let it be.

Equality March is on.

Leave my barn, now...

little man.

The pastry comes with.

The pastry stays.

Mmm.

So not cool.

I said yes to the march
because I’m a tolerant person.

Thank you, dear.

I strongly believe
each person has the right

to express themselves.

And especially if exercising that right
means causing problems for Jan Paweł.

Want a treat?

I went on patrol to make sure

that no foreigners were squatting
in our woods.

Now, I’m not a racist,

but I don’t like other...

races.

Poles are just such superior beings.

And Lithuanians. They’re pretty good too.

A perfect scenario for today
would be running into a real Muscovite

and starting the Great Patriot war.

We’d conquer enemy territory,
and I’d no longer be a landless noble.

Although finding a starling’s egg...

...is pretty sweet too.

Hello?

Who’s there?

I can hear you!

Hey!

Who are you? Germans?

Will he do?
He looks meager.

It is what it is.
Let's get him!

- Bash-bash!
- Bash-bash!

- I’m not going for any bash-bash.
- Bash-bash.

"Bash-bash" is a well-known
Tatar expression for raid

and taking prisoners to sell
for ransom or to use as slaves.

- Bash-bash!
- These are Tatars, and this is bash-bash.

Bash-bash!

JEW’S

- Oh. Thank you so much.
- Enough, Izaak.

I came for the wine.

- What wine, Father?
- For the altar?

This one’s a real jester.

What do you want?

Do I have to want something?

Aniela, have I ever told you
you have beautiful breasts?

And hips.

Uh, maybe you would've noticed...

if it weren’t all hidden
underneath that flowy smock.

Believe me. I know.

Why are you being so annoying?

What? Is it a sin
to tell one’s own sister that she’s hot?

Forgive me.

I’ve sinned. I’m absolved.
Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

If you’ll excuse me, Father.
I need to get these delivered.

Look at that. The man said he had to go,
and off he went.

Decisive and true to his word.

Oof. Macho and sexy.

Celibacy is getting to you, brother.

Youth today know nothing about lust.

A buddy of mine would get all hot
under the collar

at the sight of a woman’s calf,
and take her straight to his cot.

Greatest vicar I’ve ever known.

Jan Paweł!

Jan Paweł, has a decision been made
to grant the Equality march?

Oh, Izaak...

I'm so mad, I can’t talk about it.

Please, use your words.

I’m afraid that the parade route is
under construction.

You won’t be able to have your march.

The road is closed to traffic
for the rest of the day.

I was told that Bolesław the Wrymouth
may be buried somewhere under here.

We’re excavating to see if we
find any important remains.

That Wrymouth...

A lousy ruler,

and even lousier corpse.

This is very unfortunate, indeed.

Yes, I was looking forward
to the big parade.

Mm.

Well, I hope the rumors blaming you
for the fiasco die down quickly.

Rumors?

- Blaming me?
- Of course.

I’ve been telling my brothers in faith

that it was set in stone
once Andrzej had approved.

After Jan Paweł the Enlightened
convinced him.

- But it’s Wrymouth.
- Yes. Only you know what folks are like.

They hear a bell,
but can’t tell from which synagogue.

Two versions of the story later
and all anyone will be talking about

is how Jan Paweł the Wrymouth
canceled the march.

Fine.

Fill the hole back up!

Chop, chop, chop, chop,
chop, chop, chop, chop, chop!

Mmm.

People say traveling educates.

It’s the same with being kidnapped.

Personally, being held captive
has shown me that Tatars aren’t as bad

as latrine graffiti said.

Woah! Can... Can I just finish my apple?

Whoa!

Oh, gentlemen!

I just wanted to say

that you might wanna start trying
to find yourselves a date for the wedding.

- Who’s getting married?
- It’s my sister.

She’s so keen on marrying a magnate’s son,
that she ordered us to plan her wedding.

Go, girl!

Did he say
she’s marrying a magnate?

Who'd be stupid enough
to marry that girl?

Her balls are bigger than mine!

Jealousy.

Deadly sin number four,

but also a powerful aphrodisiac.

Hey!

Hi.

I have some good news.

Dad said yes to the march.

Mm-hmm.

Aren’t you happy about it?

So that’s what’s important right now, huh?

Of course.

I thought you might be too busy attending
to your big announcement.

What big announcement?

The one where you...

...dump the lowly serf,

and keep the royal bloodline intact...

...by marrying the son of some magnate.
That kind of announcement.

What the hell are you talking about?

Pardon me, my lady.

I forgot I was speaking to a noble.

No, you’re speaking to an equal.

That should be enough
to not behave like this.

You idiot.

Come in. Come in. Come in.

We’re at a temporary housing facility
for Tatar prisoners.

I’m giving the vibe here
at least five stars.

This guy in the hoodie, that’s Nameless.

Waive to our guests.

This is Szczepan,

the youngest of our bunch.

And this is Bones.

He’s a bit of a stiff.

The Tatars keep us captive here,

but who would wanna leave
with so much square footage?

Now follow closely and I’ll show
you where the real magic happens.

Can you believe my luck?

This is twice as big as my previous stall,
with the same number of rats,

and much tastier rats at that.

Well, I’m starting
to like these guys more and more.

Tatars are cool.

And I’m hating on the Swedes
more every day.

Stockholm syndrome, I guess.

THE BARN, SEVEN O’CLOCK.
MACIEJ

Operation Misalliance is
heading into the climax zone.

Your mother won’t let me in anyway
because I approved to the march.

Father, the discomfort you’re feeling
is a testament to your troth.

What you’re about to see
is gonna break your heart,

but you can’t turn away from it.

Can we do it the normal way tonight?

What do you mean?
This is the new normal.

What brings you
to my doorstep at this hour, my lord?

It’s late, isn’t it?

Be praised, my honorable Countess.

I’ve come to humble myself at your feet.

Although I have...

over 300 pear trees ripe
for the picking in my latifundium,

I only want to pluck the bounty
from your bush, my Countess.

- What am I watching?
- No idea.

Oh! My lord,
my patience has run out.

I can wait no more!

Bend over this second!

Ah!

Don’t tell my uncle, I beg of you,

because my uncle is
Margrave of Lower Lorraine!

Ah! Oh!

This freak show
is not breaking my heart.

But that very bad actor just mentioned

that his uncle is
the Margrave of Lower Lorraine.

Oh! Oh!

Father, I think he’s lying.

Of course he is.
So she won’t punish him for the fruit.

- Now be quiet, and let me watch.
- My sweet!

Oh! Ah!

You want another?

I don’t know.

Wanna talk about it?

Men, huh?

They’re a waste of breath.

- Hey! How long do I have to wait?
- Ula!

I'll see you at the march soon?

Oh...

I thought the whole thing was canceled.

Canceled?

Why did you cancel the march?

Aniela... we have bigger things to tend to.

It’s about Lord Bogdan.

He was captured by Tatars.

They left an arrow indicating
that they’ve taken him prisoner.

With his belongings next to the arrow?

Mm, no.

But his smell tends to linger
for quite a while, even outdoors.

This is a tragedy for our entire family.

It would be
in bad taste to parade right now.

You’ve barely even talked
to Uncle since he arrived.

You just don’t want the march.

I really don’t care what
sort of gods they worship,

but to celebrate their difference
in the streets?

- What about the children?
- Mm-hmm.

The march is on!

No march without Bogdan!

If we get Bogdan from the Tatars,
we’ll have the parade?

Well, barring any more obstacles, yes.
We’ll have it.

I’ll bring him back.

The girl’s lost her mind.

I’m sick of everyone telling me
I can’t do things

because I’m some kind of precious noble!

Aniela!
Is the march happening?

I’m working on it.

Do you think
we could use our connections to...

To what?

Pull some strings, maybe?

Izaak, I keep telling you,

we don’t rule the world.

- Mm-hmm.
- There is no Jewish conspiracy, you know.

- It’s just a rumor.
- Yeah, I know. I know.

Aniela!

Aniela, wait!

Aniela, will you slow down?

Sweetie, I’m asking you
for the last time to turn back!

Aniela, can you stop?

- You made your point.
- I did not!

Can you just take my side for once,
please, Dad?

I was already let down once today.

- What about your mother?
- I’ll protect you from Mother.

And I’ll protect you from the Tatars.

I brought my friend Władysław with me.

Should they try to attack us,
they’ll taste our swards.

- Swards or swords?
- I don’t have either.

I’ll take care of them. And it’s swords.

Władysław, you need a sword
against Tatars.

You said we were going out
to get “tartare.”

I said, “We need to get some Tatars
out of the woods,” not tartares!

Well, my grumbling stomach only heard
“get tartare,” then I got on my horse.

Władysław... No matter how drunk you are,
always remember, "horse, sword, key."

Whoa.

- It's still warm.
- Huh?

We’ve come for my uncle.

We mean you no harm.

Oh!

It’s Bogdan!

We’d like to buy him back.

I have 50 coins.

That’s all you’re offering?
They’ll laugh you out of the woods.

They want 500.

They just want five.

Really? I’m definitely worth
ten times that.

I’ll bid three.

What is this?

I’m confused. You offered 50 to start.

Because I didn’t know
his current market value.

Dad, let’s buy all of them back.

What did I always tell you at the fair
as a child? You can only choose one thing.

They’ll take them away
to who knows where!

How much for the kid?

Thirty!

And the mystery bag?

Ah, that’s too rich for my blood.
We’ll take Bogdan and the kid.

Hold on a second, Jan.

Let’s be strategic.

In hole number two,
you have Bogdan. A joke.

In hole number three,
there’s the kid. A bargain.

But in hole number one, a mystery bag.

Just like you said,
"Doesn’t that make your blood race?"

That bag could hold anything.
Like a stray cat. And I don’t like cats.

It’s not. It’s obviously a prisoner
in a hood, Dad.

Come on, old friend.
Aren’t you tempted?

You could potentially win something
so much cooler than Bogdan.

My ears work just fine.

All right. I’ll take the guy in the bag.

Come on! We came here to rescue my uncle,
and that’s what we’re doing.

And the kid.

All right.

- Is this really your final answer?
- Yes!

I’ve been talking to you all day long,
and you learned nothing.

Nothing! Do you hear me?

So I made a deal with these Tatars.

They made it clear
they didn’t wanna fight,

knowing that Poles take no prisoners.

Although, technically,
in this case, we are taking prisoners.

Except they were our prisoners
whom were captured by them,

so we’re just capturing ’em back.

I mean, "who" were captured, not "whom."

The honorary patron
of this year’s Equality March,

celebrating infidels of all races,
shall be my brave brother-in-law, Bogdan.

Hm?

Whoo!

And please give a big round of applause
to our guests of honor!

All protesters are kindly requested
not to throw stones.

Adamczycha!

Live your best life in this place!

- Stay on the left side of the road!
- Adamczycha! Adamczycha!

- Believe what you want in this safe space!
- Heads up! The march is moving!

Adamczycha!

- Adamczycha!
- Watch out for provocateurs!

Do not get provoked!

Live your best life
in this safe space!

Adamczycha! Adamczycha!

Believe what you want in this safe space!

Adamczycha! Adamczycha!

Believe what you want in this safe space!

Subtitle translation by Maja Konkolewska.