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1
00:00:20,250 --> 00:00:22,958
I told Bogdan
that Tatars were storming Warka.
2
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:26,000
It’s at least 24 hours round trip.
3
00:00:26,083 --> 00:00:28,416
So I have the smithy to myself
while he’s gone.
4
00:00:39,125 --> 00:00:42,625
I have to think of a new scheme
because I’m running out of town names.
5
00:00:45,208 --> 00:00:47,125
Hm.
6
00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:23,916
The mourning period
for my brother is over.
7
00:01:26,041 --> 00:01:28,250
Yah!
8
00:01:28,333 --> 00:01:30,083
Jakub!
9
00:01:30,750 --> 00:01:33,041
Stanisław’s only been gone 72 hours.
10
00:01:34,708 --> 00:01:37,083
You’re right.
He’s just run away. It’s too soon.
11
00:01:39,125 --> 00:01:41,458
He’ll be back any minute
once he’s calmed down.
12
00:01:43,166 --> 00:01:46,041
Stazcek’s disappearance
made us all so very sad.
13
00:01:47,458 --> 00:01:49,125
It also reopened
the never-ending discussion
14
00:01:49,208 --> 00:01:51,083
of who will inherit the throne.
15
00:01:51,166 --> 00:01:53,250
It comes down to me and Aniela.
16
00:01:53,750 --> 00:01:56,291
But that silly girl
doesn’t stand a chance in hell.
17
00:02:00,708 --> 00:02:04,208
Aniela’s obviously obsessed
with that simple peasant.
18
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,125
She could get banished
for being so stupid.
19
00:02:06,208 --> 00:02:07,541
That’s why I’m gonna play Cupid.
20
00:02:07,625 --> 00:02:08,458
Hm.
21
00:02:09,125 --> 00:02:11,375
I’m a poet, and I didn’t know it.
22
00:02:11,875 --> 00:02:13,708
Nice one.
23
00:02:17,291 --> 00:02:18,458
{\an8}ANNUAL INFIDEL CENSUS
A.D. 1670
24
00:02:18,541 --> 00:02:21,250
{\an8}Welcome to our annual infidel census.
25
00:02:22,041 --> 00:02:23,833
Poland is a tolerant country.
26
00:02:24,416 --> 00:02:27,625
You are free to practice whatever form
of deviant religion you choose,
27
00:02:27,708 --> 00:02:29,833
but it is my duty to inform all of you
28
00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:32,833
that you’ll burn
in the depths of hell if you choose wrong.
29
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,791
We’ll start with you, innkeeper.
30
00:02:35,875 --> 00:02:39,333
I’m a follower of the Jewish faith,
just like last year.
31
00:02:40,041 --> 00:02:43,208
And just like last year, I’m disappointed
to see you still wearing those curls.
32
00:02:44,791 --> 00:02:45,666
You’re excused.
33
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:47,583
Who’s next?
34
00:02:50,791 --> 00:02:54,416
- Who the hell are you?
- My name’s Maciej. I work for you.
35
00:02:55,083 --> 00:02:56,875
The blacksmith’s apprentice.
We’ve met already.
36
00:02:56,958 --> 00:02:57,875
And your religion?
37
00:02:57,958 --> 00:03:00,250
- I’m Orthodox.
- Hmm.
38
00:03:00,333 --> 00:03:03,666
I have a new system.
It’s a frowny face if you follow Shabbat,
39
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,791
and a pouty face for Orthodox.
40
00:03:05,875 --> 00:03:07,375
I see no difference.
41
00:03:07,958 --> 00:03:10,166
It’s quite distinct. This is a Jew.
42
00:03:11,583 --> 00:03:13,958
“I'm sad
because I’m living a lie."
43
00:03:14,625 --> 00:03:15,916
This is an Orthodox.
44
00:03:16,875 --> 00:03:19,875
“I don’t want your religion.
I want to live a lie.'“
45
00:03:19,958 --> 00:03:23,833
- It’s all in the eyebrows.
- Oh, the brilliance of this boy.
46
00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:26,833
All right. Next peasant.
47
00:03:26,916 --> 00:03:28,041
Who do you worship?
48
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,541
- I don’t have a religion, sir.
- You don’t?
49
00:03:30,625 --> 00:03:33,208
I’ve tried to develop
my metaphysical side, my lord,
50
00:03:33,291 --> 00:03:37,000
but it’s never really worked out for me.
I hope that won’t be a problem.
51
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:39,833
Burn, atheist! Burn!
52
00:03:39,916 --> 00:03:42,833
Huh.
53
00:03:42,916 --> 00:03:46,708
Uh, perhaps I could try to find a religion
for next year, if it’s a problem.
54
00:03:46,791 --> 00:03:48,166
- No.
- It’s a free country,
55
00:03:48,250 --> 00:03:50,833
but we’ll be forced
to put you to death for your beliefs.
56
00:03:50,916 --> 00:03:53,458
Atheists are marked
with a skull and crossbones.
57
00:03:53,958 --> 00:03:56,833
I was confused.
There’s been a mistake.
58
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,333
- On your part?
- Yes, sir. I’m not an atheist.
59
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:04,875
You’re just changing your statement
because it’ll get you burned at the stake.
60
00:04:04,958 --> 00:04:08,166
I was nervous. What I meant was...
that my beliefs run deep.
61
00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:10,125
What are these beliefs of yours?
62
00:04:11,916 --> 00:04:13,625
The, um...
63
00:04:16,583 --> 00:04:17,583
The Brown-Hatter.
64
00:04:19,541 --> 00:04:22,958
Hm. The Brown-Hatter, huh?
And what does this Brown-Hatter teach you?
65
00:04:23,541 --> 00:04:25,375
He teaches us... that...
66
00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:28,083
we should wear hats.
67
00:04:29,083 --> 00:04:31,583
And what does your deity promise
for the afterlife?
68
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:35,166
After death, if we have lived a good life,
69
00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:37,041
we will be rewarded...
70
00:04:37,583 --> 00:04:38,833
with lots of spuds.
71
00:04:42,125 --> 00:04:43,375
Mm. And the sinners?
72
00:04:47,291 --> 00:04:48,958
In the mud and no spuds.
73
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,791
Enough. No more spreading
your heathen beliefs.
74
00:04:54,583 --> 00:04:58,083
I think we can let this one slide.
It’s... small potatoes.
75
00:04:58,166 --> 00:04:59,458
Very clever, Father.
76
00:04:59,541 --> 00:05:02,083
And besides,
I’ve always wanted to draw a fedora.
77
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,958
- Go in peace.
- Albert!
78
00:05:13,541 --> 00:05:16,500
That Brown-Hatter stuff
and the potatoes...
79
00:05:17,291 --> 00:05:18,333
It was beautiful.
80
00:05:23,458 --> 00:05:24,666
What’s your pronoun?
81
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,000
- Marianna, have you seen my dad?
- No.
82
00:05:29,083 --> 00:05:30,000
Marianna!
83
00:05:30,666 --> 00:05:32,208
Have you seen Jan Paweł?
84
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:38,750
Has Stazcek come home?
85
00:05:42,416 --> 00:05:43,791
I’m avoiding my wife and daughter,
86
00:05:43,875 --> 00:05:46,250
because there’s a March for Equality
scheduled for tomorrow.
87
00:05:46,333 --> 00:05:49,791
It’s a ceremonial procession
that brings together all of our infidels.
88
00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:53,666
- There’s only one problem.
- Dad needs to approve the parade permit.
89
00:05:53,750 --> 00:05:56,375
Surely you meant to say
that he must deny it.
90
00:05:56,875 --> 00:06:00,083
Our opinions differ, Mother,
but he must say yes to the march.
91
00:06:00,166 --> 00:06:01,750
He must say a hard no.
92
00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:03,833
Why are you acting so immature?
93
00:06:03,916 --> 00:06:05,541
No means no, Aniela.
94
00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:08,958
But this needs a yes.
95
00:06:16,041 --> 00:06:18,958
Come on in, Andrzej.
Make yourself at barn.
96
00:06:27,583 --> 00:06:29,458
My only hope
to solve my dilemma is
97
00:06:29,541 --> 00:06:31,000
this old fart, Andrzej.
98
00:06:31,083 --> 00:06:33,875
If he is the first one to veto the march,
99
00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:36,250
I won’t be forced to choose
between Zofia and Aniela.
100
00:06:37,791 --> 00:06:40,625
I just can’t let on
that I care about this equality crap.
101
00:06:41,916 --> 00:06:44,250
Luckily, I’m a cunning man.
102
00:06:50,416 --> 00:06:52,916
Andrzej, we both know
we don’t have much in common,
103
00:06:54,666 --> 00:06:58,041
which is why I want to start
with something light, of no importance.
104
00:06:58,708 --> 00:07:01,250
I’m wondering if you’ve decided
to approve the infidel parade.
105
00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:03,375
- What’s your decision?
- About what?
106
00:07:03,458 --> 00:07:05,375
- Are you gonna support them?
- Support what?
107
00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:07,041
The March for Equality.
108
00:07:07,916 --> 00:07:09,291
Is someone having a march?
109
00:07:11,208 --> 00:07:14,583
- Don’t play dumb. You brought it up first.
- I guess I forgot.
110
00:07:15,083 --> 00:07:16,833
So many bigger issues to deal with.
111
00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:20,333
I’ve barely given it a second thought.
112
00:07:22,625 --> 00:07:23,583
It’s your call.
113
00:07:24,250 --> 00:07:25,458
We both need to make a decision
114
00:07:25,541 --> 00:07:27,250
since we each own half the village,
don’t we?
115
00:07:27,333 --> 00:07:28,833
Except your half’s bigger than mine.
116
00:07:35,333 --> 00:07:36,208
All right, then.
117
00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:38,083
Let it be.
118
00:07:40,166 --> 00:07:41,500
Equality March is on.
119
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,458
Leave my barn, now...
120
00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:50,083
little man.
121
00:07:50,166 --> 00:07:51,708
The pastry comes with.
122
00:07:54,333 --> 00:07:55,208
The pastry stays.
123
00:08:06,708 --> 00:08:07,541
Mmm.
124
00:08:14,458 --> 00:08:16,000
So not cool.
125
00:08:16,083 --> 00:08:19,125
I said yes to the march
because I’m a tolerant person.
126
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,166
Thank you, dear.
127
00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:24,000
I strongly believe
each person has the right
128
00:08:24,083 --> 00:08:25,208
to express themselves.
129
00:08:27,291 --> 00:08:31,541
And especially if exercising that right
means causing problems for Jan Paweł.
130
00:08:34,833 --> 00:08:35,666
Want a treat?
131
00:08:50,666 --> 00:08:53,625
I went on patrol to make sure
132
00:08:53,708 --> 00:08:56,041
that no foreigners were squatting
in our woods.
133
00:08:56,541 --> 00:08:58,125
Now, I’m not a racist,
134
00:08:58,208 --> 00:08:59,833
but I don’t like other...
135
00:08:59,916 --> 00:09:00,875
races.
136
00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:02,791
Poles are just such superior beings.
137
00:09:04,666 --> 00:09:08,041
And Lithuanians. They’re pretty good too.
138
00:09:12,416 --> 00:09:16,791
A perfect scenario for today
would be running into a real Muscovite
139
00:09:16,875 --> 00:09:18,666
and starting the Great Patriot war.
140
00:09:18,750 --> 00:09:22,500
We’d conquer enemy territory,
and I’d no longer be a landless noble.
141
00:09:25,208 --> 00:09:28,291
Although finding a starling’s egg...
142
00:09:28,375 --> 00:09:29,583
...is pretty sweet too.
143
00:09:35,791 --> 00:09:38,166
Hello?
144
00:09:39,875 --> 00:09:40,708
Who’s there?
145
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:46,250
I can hear you!
146
00:09:46,333 --> 00:09:48,125
Hey!
147
00:09:49,416 --> 00:09:52,625
Who are you? Germans?
148
00:09:53,541 --> 00:09:56,125
Will he do?
He looks meager.
149
00:09:56,208 --> 00:09:58,916
It is what it is.
Let's get him!
150
00:09:59,541 --> 00:10:01,500
- Bash-bash!
- Bash-bash!
151
00:10:01,583 --> 00:10:04,000
- I’m not going for any bash-bash.
- Bash-bash.
152
00:10:04,083 --> 00:10:07,208
"Bash-bash" is a well-known
Tatar expression for raid
153
00:10:07,291 --> 00:10:09,833
and taking prisoners to sell
for ransom or to use as slaves.
154
00:10:09,916 --> 00:10:13,666
- Bash-bash!
- These are Tatars, and this is bash-bash.
155
00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:14,750
Bash-bash!
156
00:10:14,833 --> 00:10:17,333
JEW’S
157
00:10:23,958 --> 00:10:26,791
- Oh. Thank you so much.
- Enough, Izaak.
158
00:10:32,375 --> 00:10:33,375
I came for the wine.
159
00:10:33,875 --> 00:10:35,958
- What wine, Father?
- For the altar?
160
00:10:39,875 --> 00:10:41,250
This one’s a real jester.
161
00:10:41,333 --> 00:10:42,375
What do you want?
162
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,416
Do I have to want something?
163
00:10:47,958 --> 00:10:51,416
Aniela, have I ever told you
you have beautiful breasts?
164
00:10:54,208 --> 00:10:55,250
And hips.
165
00:10:57,541 --> 00:10:59,291
Uh, maybe you would've noticed...
166
00:11:00,583 --> 00:11:03,166
if it weren’t all hidden
underneath that flowy smock.
167
00:11:03,833 --> 00:11:06,708
Believe me. I know.
168
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,458
Why are you being so annoying?
169
00:11:08,541 --> 00:11:12,291
What? Is it a sin
to tell one’s own sister that she’s hot?
170
00:11:12,375 --> 00:11:13,875
Forgive me.
171
00:11:13,958 --> 00:11:16,625
I’ve sinned. I’m absolved.
Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.
172
00:11:16,708 --> 00:11:20,125
If you’ll excuse me, Father.
I need to get these delivered.
173
00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:25,083
Look at that. The man said he had to go,
and off he went.
174
00:11:25,666 --> 00:11:27,333
Decisive and true to his word.
175
00:11:28,041 --> 00:11:29,958
Oof. Macho and sexy.
176
00:11:30,041 --> 00:11:32,625
Celibacy is getting to you, brother.
177
00:11:35,750 --> 00:11:37,750
Youth today know nothing about lust.
178
00:11:37,833 --> 00:11:39,875
A buddy of mine would get all hot
under the collar
179
00:11:39,958 --> 00:11:43,041
at the sight of a woman’s calf,
and take her straight to his cot.
180
00:11:43,541 --> 00:11:45,125
Greatest vicar I’ve ever known.
181
00:11:47,250 --> 00:11:48,416
Jan Paweł!
182
00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:52,583
Jan Paweł, has a decision been made
to grant the Equality march?
183
00:11:52,666 --> 00:11:53,750
Oh, Izaak...
184
00:11:54,833 --> 00:11:56,833
I'm so mad, I can’t talk about it.
185
00:11:56,916 --> 00:11:58,166
Please, use your words.
186
00:11:58,250 --> 00:12:01,291
I’m afraid that the parade route is
under construction.
187
00:12:01,791 --> 00:12:03,666
You won’t be able to have your march.
188
00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:05,916
The road is closed to traffic
for the rest of the day.
189
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:09,666
I was told that Bolesław the Wrymouth
may be buried somewhere under here.
190
00:12:10,791 --> 00:12:13,750
We’re excavating to see if we
find any important remains.
191
00:12:16,666 --> 00:12:17,875
That Wrymouth...
192
00:12:17,958 --> 00:12:19,541
A lousy ruler,
193
00:12:19,625 --> 00:12:21,083
and even lousier corpse.
194
00:12:21,166 --> 00:12:22,916
This is very unfortunate, indeed.
195
00:12:23,875 --> 00:12:25,666
Yes, I was looking forward
to the big parade.
196
00:12:25,750 --> 00:12:26,625
Mm.
197
00:12:27,625 --> 00:12:31,708
Well, I hope the rumors blaming you
for the fiasco die down quickly.
198
00:12:35,875 --> 00:12:36,875
Rumors?
199
00:12:39,041 --> 00:12:41,333
- Blaming me?
- Of course.
200
00:12:43,541 --> 00:12:45,166
I’ve been telling my brothers in faith
201
00:12:45,250 --> 00:12:47,291
that it was set in stone
once Andrzej had approved.
202
00:12:47,875 --> 00:12:50,375
After Jan Paweł the Enlightened
convinced him.
203
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:58,083
- But it’s Wrymouth.
- Yes. Only you know what folks are like.
204
00:12:58,750 --> 00:13:01,125
They hear a bell,
but can’t tell from which synagogue.
205
00:13:01,916 --> 00:13:05,541
Two versions of the story later
and all anyone will be talking about
206
00:13:05,625 --> 00:13:09,375
is how Jan Paweł the Wrymouth
canceled the march.
207
00:13:13,291 --> 00:13:14,166
Fine.
208
00:13:14,708 --> 00:13:15,958
Fill the hole back up!
209
00:13:17,291 --> 00:13:19,500
Chop, chop, chop, chop,
chop, chop, chop, chop, chop!
210
00:13:42,333 --> 00:13:44,291
Mmm.
211
00:13:44,375 --> 00:13:47,833
People say traveling educates.
212
00:13:47,916 --> 00:13:49,458
It’s the same with being kidnapped.
213
00:13:49,958 --> 00:13:53,375
Personally, being held captive
has shown me that Tatars aren’t as bad
214
00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:55,333
as latrine graffiti said.
215
00:13:56,666 --> 00:13:59,958
Woah! Can... Can I just finish my apple?
216
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,000
Whoa!
217
00:14:21,291 --> 00:14:23,041
Oh, gentlemen!
218
00:14:23,625 --> 00:14:24,791
I just wanted to say
219
00:14:24,875 --> 00:14:28,291
that you might wanna start trying
to find yourselves a date for the wedding.
220
00:14:29,291 --> 00:14:32,166
- Who’s getting married?
- It’s my sister.
221
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:38,000
She’s so keen on marrying a magnate’s son,
that she ordered us to plan her wedding.
222
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:39,833
Go, girl!
223
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:42,875
Did he say
she’s marrying a magnate?
224
00:14:42,958 --> 00:14:45,000
Who'd be stupid enough
to marry that girl?
225
00:14:45,083 --> 00:14:47,000
Her balls are bigger than mine!
226
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:49,916
Jealousy.
227
00:14:50,458 --> 00:14:52,083
Deadly sin number four,
228
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,500
but also a powerful aphrodisiac.
229
00:14:59,083 --> 00:14:59,916
Hey!
230
00:15:02,166 --> 00:15:04,041
Hi.
231
00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:07,666
I have some good news.
232
00:15:09,166 --> 00:15:10,625
Dad said yes to the march.
233
00:15:11,833 --> 00:15:13,250
Mm-hmm.
234
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:20,333
Aren’t you happy about it?
235
00:15:20,416 --> 00:15:22,333
So that’s what’s important right now, huh?
236
00:15:23,958 --> 00:15:24,958
Of course.
237
00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:30,125
I thought you might be too busy attending
to your big announcement.
238
00:15:32,541 --> 00:15:34,750
What big announcement?
239
00:15:35,791 --> 00:15:37,583
The one where you...
240
00:15:37,666 --> 00:15:39,208
...dump the lowly serf,
241
00:15:40,333 --> 00:15:43,500
and keep the royal bloodline intact...
242
00:15:47,208 --> 00:15:50,625
...by marrying the son of some magnate.
That kind of announcement.
243
00:15:54,750 --> 00:15:56,708
What the hell are you talking about?
244
00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:08,416
Pardon me, my lady.
245
00:16:10,875 --> 00:16:12,708
I forgot I was speaking to a noble.
246
00:16:14,750 --> 00:16:16,916
No, you’re speaking to an equal.
247
00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:19,791
That should be enough
to not behave like this.
248
00:16:22,041 --> 00:16:23,125
You idiot.
249
00:16:41,791 --> 00:16:43,125
Come in. Come in. Come in.
250
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:46,791
We’re at a temporary housing facility
for Tatar prisoners.
251
00:16:47,625 --> 00:16:50,125
I’m giving the vibe here
at least five stars.
252
00:16:50,208 --> 00:16:53,500
This guy in the hoodie, that’s Nameless.
253
00:16:53,583 --> 00:16:55,458
Waive to our guests.
254
00:16:56,208 --> 00:16:57,666
This is Szczepan,
255
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,416
the youngest of our bunch.
256
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:03,833
And this is Bones.
257
00:17:06,291 --> 00:17:08,541
He’s a bit of a stiff.
258
00:17:08,625 --> 00:17:10,916
The Tatars keep us captive here,
259
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,291
but who would wanna leave
with so much square footage?
260
00:17:13,375 --> 00:17:16,291
Now follow closely and I’ll show
you where the real magic happens.
261
00:17:19,333 --> 00:17:20,875
Can you believe my luck?
262
00:17:20,958 --> 00:17:24,916
This is twice as big as my previous stall,
with the same number of rats,
263
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,500
and much tastier rats at that.
264
00:17:34,708 --> 00:17:37,416
Well, I’m starting
to like these guys more and more.
265
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:39,375
Tatars are cool.
266
00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:41,708
And I’m hating on the Swedes
more every day.
267
00:17:43,625 --> 00:17:45,375
Stockholm syndrome, I guess.
268
00:18:11,625 --> 00:18:13,250
{\an8}THE BARN, SEVEN O’CLOCK.
MACIEJ
269
00:18:16,125 --> 00:18:19,041
Operation Misalliance is
heading into the climax zone.
270
00:18:27,166 --> 00:18:30,500
Your mother won’t let me in anyway
because I approved to the march.
271
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:35,333
Father, the discomfort you’re feeling
is a testament to your troth.
272
00:18:35,416 --> 00:18:38,083
What you’re about to see
is gonna break your heart,
273
00:18:38,166 --> 00:18:39,416
but you can’t turn away from it.
274
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,416
Can we do it the normal way tonight?
275
00:18:56,500 --> 00:19:01,000
What do you mean?
This is the new normal.
276
00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:08,333
What brings you
to my doorstep at this hour, my lord?
277
00:19:08,416 --> 00:19:09,583
It’s late, isn’t it?
278
00:19:09,666 --> 00:19:12,125
Be praised, my honorable Countess.
279
00:19:12,208 --> 00:19:14,916
I’ve come to humble myself at your feet.
280
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,208
Although I have...
281
00:19:16,708 --> 00:19:22,250
over 300 pear trees ripe
for the picking in my latifundium,
282
00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:26,500
I only want to pluck the bounty
from your bush, my Countess.
283
00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:30,916
- What am I watching?
- No idea.
284
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:35,041
Oh! My lord,
my patience has run out.
285
00:19:35,125 --> 00:19:36,958
I can wait no more!
286
00:19:37,041 --> 00:19:38,958
Bend over this second!
287
00:19:44,458 --> 00:19:46,208
Ah!
288
00:19:46,291 --> 00:19:49,333
Don’t tell my uncle, I beg of you,
289
00:19:49,416 --> 00:19:52,750
because my uncle is
Margrave of Lower Lorraine!
290
00:19:52,833 --> 00:19:55,250
Ah! Oh!
291
00:19:56,250 --> 00:19:58,333
This freak show
is not breaking my heart.
292
00:19:58,833 --> 00:20:00,666
But that very bad actor just mentioned
293
00:20:00,750 --> 00:20:03,500
that his uncle is
the Margrave of Lower Lorraine.
294
00:20:03,583 --> 00:20:04,916
Oh! Oh!
295
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,916
Father, I think he’s lying.
296
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,666
Of course he is.
So she won’t punish him for the fruit.
297
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,208
- Now be quiet, and let me watch.
- My sweet!
298
00:20:14,291 --> 00:20:15,875
Oh! Ah!
299
00:20:56,875 --> 00:20:58,041
You want another?
300
00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:01,333
I don’t know.
301
00:21:03,166 --> 00:21:04,458
Wanna talk about it?
302
00:21:09,833 --> 00:21:11,458
Men, huh?
303
00:21:13,375 --> 00:21:14,375
They’re a waste of breath.
304
00:21:14,458 --> 00:21:17,166
- Hey! How long do I have to wait?
- Ula!
305
00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:25,375
I'll see you at the march soon?
306
00:21:26,083 --> 00:21:27,250
Oh...
307
00:21:27,333 --> 00:21:29,291
I thought the whole thing was canceled.
308
00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:32,125
Canceled?
309
00:21:34,958 --> 00:21:37,958
Why did you cancel the march?
310
00:21:38,916 --> 00:21:42,208
Aniela... we have bigger things to tend to.
311
00:21:44,916 --> 00:21:46,333
It’s about Lord Bogdan.
312
00:21:46,416 --> 00:21:47,791
He was captured by Tatars.
313
00:21:47,875 --> 00:21:51,250
They left an arrow indicating
that they’ve taken him prisoner.
314
00:21:51,333 --> 00:21:53,791
With his belongings next to the arrow?
315
00:21:55,083 --> 00:21:56,791
Mm, no.
316
00:21:57,458 --> 00:22:01,625
But his smell tends to linger
for quite a while, even outdoors.
317
00:22:03,375 --> 00:22:05,750
This is a tragedy for our entire family.
318
00:22:05,833 --> 00:22:09,500
It would be
in bad taste to parade right now.
319
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,833
You’ve barely even talked
to Uncle since he arrived.
320
00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:14,750
You just don’t want the march.
321
00:22:15,958 --> 00:22:18,541
I really don’t care what
sort of gods they worship,
322
00:22:19,041 --> 00:22:21,541
but to celebrate their difference
in the streets?
323
00:22:21,625 --> 00:22:23,500
- What about the children?
- Mm-hmm.
324
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,666
The march is on!
325
00:22:26,750 --> 00:22:28,208
No march without Bogdan!
326
00:22:29,833 --> 00:22:33,375
If we get Bogdan from the Tatars,
we’ll have the parade?
327
00:22:33,458 --> 00:22:37,916
Well, barring any more obstacles, yes.
We’ll have it.
328
00:22:40,208 --> 00:22:41,541
I’ll bring him back.
329
00:22:42,083 --> 00:22:43,583
The girl’s lost her mind.
330
00:22:43,666 --> 00:22:45,916
I’m sick of everyone telling me
I can’t do things
331
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,333
because I’m some kind of precious noble!
332
00:23:04,875 --> 00:23:07,416
Aniela!
Is the march happening?
333
00:23:08,291 --> 00:23:09,541
I’m working on it.
334
00:23:18,750 --> 00:23:21,458
Do you think
we could use our connections to...
335
00:23:23,333 --> 00:23:24,375
To what?
336
00:23:25,041 --> 00:23:27,083
Pull some strings, maybe?
337
00:23:28,708 --> 00:23:30,833
Izaak, I keep telling you,
338
00:23:30,916 --> 00:23:32,333
we don’t rule the world.
339
00:23:32,416 --> 00:23:35,125
- Mm-hmm.
- There is no Jewish conspiracy, you know.
340
00:23:35,208 --> 00:23:39,583
- It’s just a rumor.
- Yeah, I know. I know.
341
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:45,958
Aniela!
342
00:23:48,416 --> 00:23:49,541
Aniela, wait!
343
00:23:51,583 --> 00:23:55,166
Aniela, will you slow down?
344
00:23:57,958 --> 00:24:00,833
Sweetie, I’m asking you
for the last time to turn back!
345
00:24:05,500 --> 00:24:06,750
Aniela, can you stop?
346
00:24:07,750 --> 00:24:09,958
- You made your point.
- I did not!
347
00:24:10,541 --> 00:24:12,916
Can you just take my side for once,
please, Dad?
348
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:14,791
I was already let down once today.
349
00:24:14,875 --> 00:24:18,166
- What about your mother?
- I’ll protect you from Mother.
350
00:24:18,250 --> 00:24:21,000
And I’ll protect you from the Tatars.
351
00:24:22,916 --> 00:24:25,083
I brought my friend Władysław with me.
352
00:24:27,458 --> 00:24:30,375
Should they try to attack us,
they’ll taste our swards.
353
00:24:31,833 --> 00:24:34,458
- Swards or swords?
- I don’t have either.
354
00:24:34,541 --> 00:24:36,708
I’ll take care of them. And it’s swords.
355
00:24:37,208 --> 00:24:39,458
Władysław, you need a sword
against Tatars.
356
00:24:39,541 --> 00:24:41,333
You said we were going out
to get “tartare.”
357
00:24:41,416 --> 00:24:44,458
I said, “We need to get some Tatars
out of the woods,” not tartares!
358
00:24:44,541 --> 00:24:47,708
Well, my grumbling stomach only heard
“get tartare,” then I got on my horse.
359
00:24:47,791 --> 00:24:52,083
Władysław... No matter how drunk you are,
always remember, "horse, sword, key."
360
00:24:53,958 --> 00:24:57,291
Whoa.
361
00:25:01,875 --> 00:25:03,791
- It's still warm.
- Huh?
362
00:25:13,500 --> 00:25:14,708
We’ve come for my uncle.
363
00:25:15,375 --> 00:25:16,458
We mean you no harm.
364
00:25:22,583 --> 00:25:24,333
Oh!
365
00:25:24,416 --> 00:25:25,625
It’s Bogdan!
366
00:25:28,041 --> 00:25:29,416
We’d like to buy him back.
367
00:25:35,708 --> 00:25:38,125
I have 50 coins.
368
00:25:38,916 --> 00:25:42,041
That’s all you’re offering?
They’ll laugh you out of the woods.
369
00:25:43,666 --> 00:25:44,958
They want 500.
370
00:25:45,458 --> 00:25:46,625
They just want five.
371
00:25:47,416 --> 00:25:49,583
Really? I’m definitely worth
ten times that.
372
00:25:51,916 --> 00:25:52,916
I’ll bid three.
373
00:25:53,458 --> 00:25:54,666
What is this?
374
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,083
I’m confused. You offered 50 to start.
375
00:25:58,583 --> 00:26:00,375
Because I didn’t know
his current market value.
376
00:26:01,291 --> 00:26:03,416
Dad, let’s buy all of them back.
377
00:26:04,041 --> 00:26:07,416
What did I always tell you at the fair
as a child? You can only choose one thing.
378
00:26:08,083 --> 00:26:10,458
They’ll take them away
to who knows where!
379
00:26:13,875 --> 00:26:16,083
How much for the kid?
380
00:26:16,166 --> 00:26:17,291
Thirty!
381
00:26:20,541 --> 00:26:21,541
And the mystery bag?
382
00:26:27,333 --> 00:26:30,000
Ah, that’s too rich for my blood.
We’ll take Bogdan and the kid.
383
00:26:30,083 --> 00:26:32,208
Hold on a second, Jan.
384
00:26:33,250 --> 00:26:34,708
Let’s be strategic.
385
00:26:37,041 --> 00:26:39,875
In hole number two,
you have Bogdan. A joke.
386
00:26:40,583 --> 00:26:42,875
In hole number three,
there’s the kid. A bargain.
387
00:26:43,375 --> 00:26:45,583
But in hole number one, a mystery bag.
388
00:26:46,083 --> 00:26:49,625
Just like you said,
"Doesn’t that make your blood race?"
389
00:26:51,500 --> 00:26:54,958
That bag could hold anything.
Like a stray cat. And I don’t like cats.
390
00:26:55,625 --> 00:26:58,291
It’s not. It’s obviously a prisoner
in a hood, Dad.
391
00:26:58,875 --> 00:27:01,375
Come on, old friend.
Aren’t you tempted?
392
00:27:01,875 --> 00:27:05,916
You could potentially win something
so much cooler than Bogdan.
393
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,625
My ears work just fine.
394
00:27:13,416 --> 00:27:16,791
All right. I’ll take the guy in the bag.
395
00:27:16,875 --> 00:27:20,791
Come on! We came here to rescue my uncle,
and that’s what we’re doing.
396
00:27:21,458 --> 00:27:22,291
And the kid.
397
00:27:22,791 --> 00:27:23,875
All right.
398
00:27:25,125 --> 00:27:27,291
- Is this really your final answer?
- Yes!
399
00:27:31,041 --> 00:27:34,416
I’ve been talking to you all day long,
and you learned nothing.
400
00:27:34,916 --> 00:27:36,666
Nothing! Do you hear me?
401
00:27:37,166 --> 00:27:38,916
So I made a deal with these Tatars.
402
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:41,708
They made it clear
they didn’t wanna fight,
403
00:27:41,791 --> 00:27:43,666
knowing that Poles take no prisoners.
404
00:27:45,125 --> 00:27:47,875
Although, technically,
in this case, we are taking prisoners.
405
00:27:49,166 --> 00:27:51,750
Except they were our prisoners
whom were captured by them,
406
00:27:51,833 --> 00:27:54,000
so we’re just capturing ’em back.
407
00:27:57,208 --> 00:27:59,250
I mean, "who" were captured, not "whom."
408
00:28:11,083 --> 00:28:13,416
The honorary patron
of this year’s Equality March,
409
00:28:13,500 --> 00:28:18,041
celebrating infidels of all races,
shall be my brave brother-in-law, Bogdan.
410
00:28:18,125 --> 00:28:20,041
Hm?
411
00:28:21,500 --> 00:28:24,000
Whoo!
412
00:28:25,458 --> 00:28:28,833
And please give a big round of applause
to our guests of honor!
413
00:28:36,083 --> 00:28:39,375
All protesters are kindly requested
not to throw stones.
414
00:28:40,125 --> 00:28:43,375
Adamczycha!
415
00:28:43,458 --> 00:28:46,708
Live your best life in this place!
416
00:28:46,791 --> 00:28:51,000
- Stay on the left side of the road!
- Adamczycha! Adamczycha!
417
00:28:51,083 --> 00:28:54,958
- Believe what you want in this safe space!
- Heads up! The march is moving!
418
00:28:55,041 --> 00:28:56,583
Adamczycha!
419
00:28:56,666 --> 00:28:58,500
- Adamczycha!
- Watch out for provocateurs!
420
00:28:58,583 --> 00:28:59,541
Do not get provoked!
421
00:28:59,625 --> 00:29:02,666
Live your best life
in this safe space!
422
00:29:03,166 --> 00:29:07,083
Adamczycha! Adamczycha!
423
00:29:07,166 --> 00:29:10,750
Believe what you want in this safe space!
424
00:29:10,833 --> 00:29:15,250
Adamczycha! Adamczycha!
425
00:29:15,333 --> 00:29:19,166
Believe what you want in this safe space!
426
00:33:00,708 --> 00:33:05,708
Subtitle translation by Maja Konkolewska.
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