All language subtitles for Diary.of.a.Future.President.S01E03.Disaster.Relief.2020-01-31.WEB-DL.XviD.MP3

So, diary, everything has been
changing pretty expeditiously.

Wait, what?

My mom had her first boyfriend
since my dad died.

Never thought that I'd be back here
dating someone new again.

Bobby was pretty pumped
about being tennis captain.

Nice.

Did you just get a "nice"
from Monyca with a Y?

And me, well,
I was just trying to stay afloat

in these tumultuous middle school waters.

So, Sash, wanna listen to the new
Skyler Zaxton album after school today?

When he left Sugah Boyz,
I didn't think I'd like him solo,

but his new album really speaks to me.

Sorry, can't hang.

Gotta write my advice column
for newspaper.

'Bummed in Biology' really needs me.

Wow, you've been really putting in
your 10,000 hours at newspaper lately.

Well, yeah, duh.
My advice column is my raison.

- Your what?
- My raison d'être.

That's French for "reason for being."

I read it on
a specialty chocolate wrapper.

Everyone has a raison.

Ryan's is football.

Claude's is his allergies.

Jessica and Melissa's
is ribbon dancing for the Swansbabes.

What about the Brits?

Oh, you mean Brittany and British Oliver?

Yeah.

Theirs is being too cool for everything.

- Oh, that's brilliant.
- Isn't it though?

Huh.

Joey Feldstein's is obviously being hot.

Wait, you're right.

Everyone does have a raison.

What's my raison?

Your raison is school, duh.

That isn't a real raison.
Everyone goes to school.

Well, yeah, but you, like,
really go to school.

Guys, I hate to do this,

but it's time for
the morning announcements.

Today's lunch is... God, it's hot in here.

What does that say? Sweat in my eye.

The cast list for this year's musical.

There are 120 students
and four separate casts.

Oh, boy, here we go.

Yeah, this is not the vibe.

Playing the role
of storekeeper's wife will be...

Well, I guess my raison
can't be the musical.

...Penny Lopez.

What about xylophone band?

You wanna join New 'Phones, Who Dis?
Who are you, Mozart?

Four square team!

They already have all four squares.
Plus, four alternates.

All these flyers are either past
the deadline or not for sixth graders.

Since when did everyone need a raison?

Well, we're in middle school now.

Diary, it seemed like
everyone had a raison.

But what was mine?

Guys, I have the most
life-changing news ever.

Monyca with a Y wants to see you,
Bobby Cañero-Reed,

tomorrow behind the dumpster
during the xylophone assembly.

Whoa, that's cool.

Wait, she said behind the dumpster?

Dude, everyone who meets behind
the dumpster goes to Miami second base.

Just ask Becky and Trey.

I know it might be corny to say,

but someday I hope to find
a love like that.

Okay, uh, so obviously, I know what it is,

but just so we're all
on the same page here,

what exactly is "Miami second base"?

Well, uh...

Uh...

Well, um...

Hey, just wondering if you could
proofread this brief for me real quick.

Don't you have a paralegal?

Uh, she's sick. Maybe just real quick?

Um...

You're missing punctuation on
"Would you like to join me for dinner?"

Aw, Sam.

As much as I've enjoyed
our sneak away lunches,

and breakfast and Answerama at your house,

we never really had a proper first date.

Maybe I could treat you to
a nice dinner tonight, just the two of us.

That's so sweet, Sam.

Both kids'll be home, so I'll have
to leave them with frozen pizza

and dead bolts on the windows, but yes.

That sounds really, really lovely.

Fantastic.
I'll make a reservation at Patty's.

Most extensive menu in southern Florida.

I recommend the sushi tower
and the cannoli.

I can't wait.

Ooh, somebody's got a date tonight.

Am I a bad mom for leaving my kids
to go on a date?

You are being paranoid and crazy.

Just checking. Oh, no. I'm excited.

I get to go on a nice date
with my boyfriend.

There's my girl. Ooh.

Somebody call HR, 'cause I can feel
the heat up in this office.

Oh, please don't.

Before we start talking about
the cataclysmic demise of our planet,

I'm looking for a Hurricane Watch Captain.

This lucky student
will track storms with me,

and we'll collect nonperishable items
in the event of a hurricane.

Sasha, this is it. My raison.

It's calling out for me to pluck it
from the trail mix of life.

Hurricanes are your reason for being?

And hurricanes will only increase
in the coming year

and for many years to come.

So, hey, you'll be busy. Any takers?

Me.

I will serve as Orange Bay Middle's
Hurricane Watch Captain.

Wow, I really thought it was gonna go
unfilled like it has the past two years.

Okay, great. Well, the position
comes with this captain's hat.

Wait, free hat?

I wanna be captain.

Two takers? God, I've got to tell
my therapist about this.

This is unprecedented.

The job's not big enough for two people.

Hmm. We'll have a stump speech.
Tomorrow, at the xylophone assembly,

you'll each convince the school
why you should be Hurricane Watch Captain.

I promise to give a speech
that will make students

as passionate about hurricanes as I am.

Okay. I'll talk in front of people.

Okay, great.
To say the end of the world is near

is optimistic.

No one was gonna keep me
from my raison. Especially not Ryan.

I never knew that the name "hurricane"
came from the Mayan god of wind, Huracan.

Or that the first human record
of hurricanes

appeared in Mayan hieroglyphics.

My Broomsbriar Academy
warlock boyfriend is Tobias.

Sasha, please focus.

This speech needs to be good enough
to get everyone to share my passion

for wind and hot rain and stuff.

Right.

I just need to beat Ryan
and get my raison.

He's really popular for some reason.

Claude, look.

Ryan, quit it.
You know about my gluten allergy.

Our moms are friends.

Elena, I'm really sorry to say this,

but hurricane facts
are just really boring.

Okay. I hear you.

But what if I told you

that the largest hurricane in Florida
wasn't even named.

A category five in 1935.

I can name it. Hurricane Snooze.

If I'm not even able to capture
the attention of my BFFAESNSOTBFBU,

I might need to try a different approach.

Can I hide here?

Ryan went to his locker
to put on polyester,

and now he wants to give me a hug.

You expect me to put this caca
on your lips?

No, no, no, no. Use this one.

I've been saving it
for a special occasion.

It's not exactly appropriate
for Bobby's tennis matches.

See, now this, this will do.

Ay, mi linda.

Help me help you.
What's with the fuchi face?

Sorry. I was just going over my checklist.

Pizza. Dead bolts. Emergency numbers
of 20 of my closest relatives.

You're kinda making me grateful
for my wildly unsupportive parents.

You know what? I'm fine.
The kids are fine.

Gabi, I promise it's okay
to leave your kids for a night.

- But...
- Okay, sweetie.

I love you, but you were neurotic
before Robert died,

and now, ay, ay, ay!

You work hard. You are a great mom.

You deserve to have fun for once.

You're right. It's true. I do.

Plus, look at yourself.

Now let's see the whole picture.

- So, what do you think?
- Perfect.

Oh, except...

Wow, it really has been a while for you.

You can't have that sticking out.
You need your black bra.

The Bra-zé-Bra brand with the demi cup
and the adjustable straps.

- Qué boundaries?
- I...

Okay.

Well, Danielle and I are taking
a couple's cooking class

so that means
I gotta go grab dinner before.

But hey, can you please pretend
you don't have kids for two hours, okay?

Okay.

Mami. You're a lawyer.
You speak persuasively.

Yes, I do. Well, I hope I do.

What are some tricks to writing a good,
persuasive speech?

Well, it helps to be personal.

Sometimes it's good to give an anecdote
and then relate it back to your point.

Interesting.

Oh, no, that's Sam.

Elenita, can you get that for me?

And just tell him that
I will be ready in a minute.

Is it an Elena minute or a Mami minute?

'Cause those are two very different
time measurements.

Let's be real, Mami minute.

You haven't seen
a black bra around, have you?

Never mind. Okay.

- Elena.
- Nice threads, Sam.

Thank you. Which thread is your favorite?

- It's a bad joke.
- Yeah.

Ooh, you got a vocab test coming up?

You must be on the G's by now.

Germane assumption. But no.

I'm trying to figure out how to write
the best speech about hurricanes.

Well, I always think humor is the best way
to grab people's attention.

But just the thought of hurricanes
makes me... shudder.

So, Jeremy Peet told me
that his brother said

that Miami second base is similar
to Tampa first base.

But instead...

Dude, no way.
That's what it was, like, three years ago.

Now it's this.

I don't know where you get your news

because I know for a fact that
that is New Orleans second base.

I thought New Orleans second base
involved hot sauce.

Maybe I'm thinking of Chicago second base?

Guys.

Maybe I should just tell Monyca with a Y
to meet me somewhere else,

like next to the math trailer.

Next to the math trailer?
Are you gonna propose?

Come on, dude. You got this.

Okay. What if I do this?

Dude, that's Nova Scotia third.

You're not emotionally ready for that.

I need to check the...

Oh, my God, Mom.
Does a sign mean nothing to you?

Okay, boys.
I think it's time for you to go home.

- Good idea.
- Yeah.

Oh, uh, just for the record, I was
extremely respectful with the pillow.

Ziggy.

You know we have to have
that talk now, right?

No.

You're not gonna get
out of this one, mijo.

I'll be right back.

I'm so sorry to keep you waiting
but I actually...

Wow, Gab. You look incredible.

Thank you. You look great too.

I heard Patty's is having
a seafood special tonight.

So, keep your eyes peeled
for flying shrimp tails.

But it'll be fun, right?

Maybe one will fall into a wine glass,
and we'll laugh and laugh.

Oh, Sam. I'm so sorry,

but I don't think
that I can make it tonight.

Oh, everything okay?

Yeah. I just found Bobby
and his friends in a situation,

and now I have to give him part four
of my eight-part sex talk series.

Well, that sounds thorough.

I just need to be a parent tonight.
I hope you understand.

No, no. I, I do.

I mean my version of a sex talk

was watching Basic Instinct
with my parents.

So, you're one of the good moms.

Maybe we can try Patty's again
tomorrow night?

Yes, please. I think it's pierogi night.

Good luck.

God, Mom. Don't you think volumes one
through three were enough?

Let's start with A, amniotic fluid.

Oh, God. We made eye contact.

Nothing my mom talked to me about
prepared me for Miami second base.

Well, I stole some hot sauce for you
just in case.

Morning. I realize we're all
very excited to see a performance

from our electrifying xylophone group,
New 'Phones, Who Dis?

But before that, for the first time
in Orange Bay Middle School history,

we have two students
running for Hurricane Watch Captain.

What's that?

After the speeches, you will all decide
who wins by applause.

First up, Elena Canero-Reed.

It's Cañero-Reed.

First grade.

Hurricane.

My tía's bathtub.

We filled it to its brim
just in case the water went out.

That year was the worst hurricane
Miami had seen

since the unnamed category five in 1935.

To this day, just the thought of it
makes me... shudder.

And you know what, the water did go out.
And so did the power.

But we were prepared.

We made mac n cheese, arroz con pollo,
even dulce de leche.

We stayed hydrated too.
All with that bathtub water.

If you vote for me
for Hurricane Watch Captain,

I will make sure that we are all prepared.

I will be Orange Bay Middle School's
personal bathtub.

Yes.

Wonderful job, Elena.

Next up we have Ryan Tyler.

Hey, guys. What up? I'm Ryan.

Hurricanes suck 'cause
then you can't play football,

and football doesn't suck.

True.

All right. I'm outtie. Go Swansbys!

Thank you, Ryan.

Now we will all vote by applause
for our Hurricane Watch Captain.

Let's hear it for Elena Cañero-Reed.

Yeah, Elena.

Category three. Very nice. Very nice.
And now for Ryan Tyler.

Wow, that is hurricane category five.
No survivors.

Let's hear it for our new
Hurricane Watch Captain, Ryan Tyler.

And now, take it away,
New 'Phones, Who Dis?

And in that very moment, diary,

Hurricane Ryan demolished my raison.

- Hi, Bobby.
- Hey.

You look nice.

This shed really brings out your eyes.

Uh, thanks, I think.

So... wanna take a trip to Miami?

What? We're in Miami.

Oh, no. You know, like,
a baseball field in Miami.

Are you asking me to go to Marlins Park?

No, no. Miami second base.

You know, what everyone does
behind the dumpster.

I mean...

that's what you wanted to do
when you asked me here, right?

Oh...

I'm an idiot.
I'm... I'm sorry I ruined the mood.

No, you didn't.

I honestly just picked
this spot because...

I wanted some privacy to tell you
that I like you, Bobby.

Really?

Yeah.

Well, I like you too, Monyca with a Y.

Wow. So cool.

Cool.

So, I guess this means
you're my girlfriend, right?

Uh, yeah. I think so.

Also, I don't really know or care
about whatever Miami second base is.

The base system is outdated
and patriarchal anyway.

Oh... Yeah, totally.

I also came to that conclusion separately.

Okay, Elenita.

I'm a little old man
who lost his Chihuahua,

and I'm coming to your door
to ask for your help.

I won't open the door.

Elena, you okay?

Oh, talk to me, mi amor.

Everyone has a raison,
AKA a reason for being, except me.

So I tried to make Hurricane Watch Captain
my raison,

and I worked hard on my speech,
but I lost anyway.

And now I'm just a big bowl of bran
with no raisins.

Elena, Elena, slow down.
Take a deep breath.

Now, dime. Since when are hurricanes
your reason for being?

I just felt like everyone else
had everything all figured out.

Elena, no one has everything figured out.

You do.

Of course I don't.

It takes years for people to figure out
what their raison is,

and there will be many stops
on the road to finding it.

This is a time to play around, hmm?

And discover the things you find fun.

It was fun to give a speech.

Do you want to hear it?
I used an anecdote.

- First grade.
- Hurricane.

This sounds so good but I have to run.

I am late for dinner with Sam.

Okay. Bring me home some bread pudding.

It has raisins.

You know what? Why don't you come?

Yes. I love pierogi night.

Oh.

Bobby, we're leaving for dinner.
All the numbers are on the fridge.

Okay.

- Hi.
- Hi. Who are you?

I'm Monyca. It's with a Y.

Um, I'm Bobby's girlfriend.

You must be his mom.
But he said you weren't gonna be home.

No, no.

Oh, yeah. Uh...

It's the only way I could come.

We're just having pivotal life moments
all over the place here.

Oh, okay. No problem.

I got you these flowers.

- Thank you.
- Oh, sweet.

Monyca with a Y, these are for you.

Aw, thank you.

Let's do some scooting.

I ordered fondue for two

but we could easily order
another pot of hot cheese.

I'm lactose intolerant.

We'll figure it out. This is good.

This is great.

You know, it's okay.

Maybe you'll find your raison
in high school.

Or college. Or retirement.

That's when my grandpappy
found beekeeping.

Thanks.
But I'm not really in a rush.

Hey, guys.

Hate to break up the jam sesh,

but it's time to watch Dr. Cooper
do the announcements. Yuck.

Today's soccer game will be against...

Sorry, I lost my place.

Uh...

Lunch will... Oh, I was on soccer.
Get it together, Coop.

Diary,
it might have taken me three books

and four academic journals on hurricanes
to get to it.

But I think found at least a stop
on the road to my raison.

- Hey.
- Hey.

So, sorry about last night's
surprise party of five.

Monyca seems like a nice young lady.

We share an affinity for prosciutto.

Thank you for being so cool
about everything.

I know it was less than ideal.

I'd love to try again soon.

How about this? A weekend in Palm Beach.

A little sun, a little R and R,
some tropical drinks.

Mm, that sounds amazing.

Bobby's into boogie boarding.
Elena loves the tide pool.

I'm gonna look up and see

- when they have...
- No, I meant just us.

Oh...

I mean, obviously, I'd love that.

But at least for right now,

I don't think I can leave the kids
for a romantic vacation.

I don't think any of us
are ready for that.

Oh. Okay.

Oh. Look, Sam. My kids are my raison.

I mean, sorry, my reason for being.

I'm still navigating
what our lives are like now.

And I'd...

I don't have everything figured out.

I get that.

You know when you and I were doing
our sneak away lunches?

We were living in a sort of fantasy,
but last night was real life.

I'm a little out of my depth here.

I get that.

My ex-wife and I never had kids,

so I just assumed
that ship had sailed for me.

I knew this was a packaged deal,

I just never thought about
what that looks like.

So, fondue for two could at any moment
become fondue for four?

You okay with that?

Um...

I'm not sure.

Don't miss out on the four square game
in the yard today.

If it's anything like last week's,

it'll be intense enough to throw you
into a quarter-life crisis.

Good luck, Swansby Quads.

And if you're feeling sleepy in homeroom,
step up.

This is the vibe.

Diary, it's funny.

I thought I'd missed the boat
on finding my reason for being.

And now, let's throw it to Ryan
with the Hurricane Watch.

Uh, no hurricanes today.

Thanks, Ryan.

But there's no need to rush
the things that matter.

Because if it really does matter,
you'll figure it out eventually.

And sure, I don't know
what my true raison is yet.

But I'm already enjoying the journey.

For Orange Bay Middle,
I have been Elena Cañero-Reed.

And I'm here for you.

Subtitles Diego Moraes(oakislandtk)
www.opensubtitles.org