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("MERRY CHRISTMAS
BABY" BY CHLÖE PLAYING)
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♪ Merry Christmas, baby ♪
3
00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:43,541
♪ Merry Christmas, baby ♪
4
00:00:43,541 --> 00:00:47,750
♪ Sure did treat me nice ♪
5
00:00:47,750 --> 00:00:49,500
(WHOOPING)
6
00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:51,875
♪ Santa came down the chimney ♪
7
00:00:51,875 --> 00:00:53,875
♪ Half past 3:00, y'all ♪
8
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♪ Left all them good ol' presents ♪
9
00:00:55,375 --> 00:00:58,333
♪ For my baby and for me, ah-ah-ah ♪
10
00:00:58,333 --> 00:01:01,041
♪ Merry Christmas, baby ♪
11
00:01:01,041 --> 00:01:04,833
♪ Sure did treat me nice ♪
12
00:01:04,833 --> 00:01:06,875
♪ Oh, baby ♪
13
00:01:06,875 --> 00:01:09,416
♪ You bought all those
good ol' presents ♪
14
00:01:09,416 --> 00:01:13,666
♪ I love you, baby,
for the rest of my life ♪
15
00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:21,625
♪ Oh ♪
16
00:01:24,958 --> 00:01:27,750
♪ Merry Christmas, baby ♪
17
00:01:27,750 --> 00:01:30,083
♪ Sure did treat me nice ♪
18
00:01:30,083 --> 00:01:32,625
♪ Ooh ♪
19
00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:34,041
♪ Yeah. ♪
20
00:01:35,666 --> 00:01:37,666
(SONG FADES)
21
00:01:39,791 --> 00:01:41,541
(AIR HISSING)
22
00:01:48,458 --> 00:01:51,541
BRUCE:
Ah! And God said, "Let there be Santa."
23
00:01:51,541 --> 00:01:54,416
(CHUCKLES):
Holy cow. Wow.
24
00:01:54,416 --> 00:01:56,500
You sure got a thing for candy canes,
don't you, Chris?
25
00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:57,875
Yeah.
26
00:01:57,875 --> 00:02:00,875
And you sure got a thing
for big blow-up dolls, don't you, Bruce?
27
00:02:00,875 --> 00:02:02,916
Yeah, I love those blow-up dolls.
28
00:02:02,916 --> 00:02:05,666
Oh. Okay. No.
29
00:02:05,666 --> 00:02:07,083
(LAUGHS):
I see what you did there.
30
00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:08,958
Did you blow all those up?
31
00:02:08,958 --> 00:02:11,625
We're, uh, we're a family that blows.
32
00:02:11,625 --> 00:02:15,291
And I see you're, uh, still carving
your wood... little hobby.
33
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Yeah. All hand-carved.
34
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Yeah, it's cute.
35
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(CHUCKLES): It's not first-place cute,
but it's cute.
36
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,750
I don't know how a blow-up doll
could, you know,
37
00:02:22,750 --> 00:02:25,333
compare with this handcraftsmanship.
38
00:02:25,333 --> 00:02:27,500
(LAUGHS) Not interested.
39
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:29,708
- Well, we'll see. We'll see, Bruce.
- We w... We will see.
40
00:02:29,708 --> 00:02:31,750
We will see. We will see.
41
00:02:31,750 --> 00:02:32,958
We will see.
42
00:02:32,958 --> 00:02:38,333
Do I want an invisibility cloak
or flying shoes?
43
00:02:38,333 --> 00:02:40,625
If an elf can make it,
you can wish for it, okay?
44
00:02:40,625 --> 00:02:42,541
Santa's elves can make anything.
45
00:02:42,541 --> 00:02:44,541
They can make anything.
Now finish that letter.
46
00:02:44,541 --> 00:02:46,666
Come on. We got to send it
all the way to the North Pole.
47
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:49,041
How much more inflatable crap
is Bruce gonna put on that roof?
48
00:02:49,041 --> 00:02:52,166
Oh, Bruce.
Babe, thank you for reminding me.
49
00:02:52,166 --> 00:02:54,500
Please don't forget to buy a nice bottle
of red for us to go over there tonight.
50
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:57,375
I'm not getting a good bottle
for the competition.
51
00:02:57,375 --> 00:02:59,416
They're not the competition.
They're our neighbors.
52
00:02:59,416 --> 00:03:01,875
(SIGHS) Dad, where are my cleats?
53
00:03:01,875 --> 00:03:03,041
Your cleats are right here.
54
00:03:03,041 --> 00:03:05,041
You know, Joy, I was wondering:
Since you're having such a hard time
55
00:03:05,041 --> 00:03:06,583
keeping track of things
while you're at home,
56
00:03:06,583 --> 00:03:09,791
what's gonna happen
when you go off to college...
57
00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:12,750
Notre Dame?
58
00:03:12,750 --> 00:03:14,500
How'd this get in the house?
59
00:03:16,083 --> 00:03:21,291
Dad, I... I know that you guys met
at USC, but I don't want to go there.
60
00:03:21,291 --> 00:03:23,875
What?! Huh?!
61
00:03:23,875 --> 00:03:24,958
(GASPS DRAMATICALLY)
62
00:03:25,833 --> 00:03:27,458
Excuse me.
63
00:03:27,458 --> 00:03:29,125
USC is in your blood.
64
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:32,250
- Fight on.
- Fight on!
65
00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:36,458
Listen, sweetheart, I-I would be happy
to call my old softball coach.
66
00:03:36,458 --> 00:03:37,708
- No, Mom, I...
- (STAMMERS)
67
00:03:37,708 --> 00:03:41,000
I'm-I'm shattered
that you don't want to go to USC.
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00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,958
Wow. Joy.
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00:03:42,958 --> 00:03:45,166
USC. Fight on.
70
00:03:45,166 --> 00:03:47,250
- Fight on, honey.
- Fight on.
71
00:03:48,458 --> 00:03:50,333
Only a half hour away.
72
00:03:50,333 --> 00:03:52,291
You could spend so much time with Dad.
73
00:03:52,291 --> 00:03:53,583
- (CHUCKLES)
- That's right.
74
00:03:53,583 --> 00:03:55,041
It's only 20 minutes with no traffic.
75
00:03:55,041 --> 00:03:56,291
You could eat dinner with your family
every night.
76
00:03:56,291 --> 00:03:58,333
Yeah.
77
00:03:58,333 --> 00:04:01,208
Nick, um, how did that math test go?
78
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:03,416
Oh, you had a math test? What'd you get?
79
00:04:03,416 --> 00:04:05,666
I don't let grades define me, Dad.
80
00:04:05,666 --> 00:04:08,125
All right, that does not sound good.
81
00:04:08,125 --> 00:04:09,708
Yeah, that don't sound good at all.
82
00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:13,166
Look, Nick, if you want to win in life,
you have to learn to focus
83
00:04:13,166 --> 00:04:15,041
- on what's important.
- (MOUTHING)
84
00:04:15,041 --> 00:04:17,083
Well, my music is important.
85
00:04:17,083 --> 00:04:19,041
Math is required. Music is elective.
86
00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:21,333
Okay, but, sweetie,
the-the music makes him happy.
87
00:04:21,333 --> 00:04:23,416
Yeah, but he ain't gonna make no money
making music.
88
00:04:23,416 --> 00:04:26,708
Well, I mean, there's a lot of
music people that make money, Chris.
89
00:04:26,708 --> 00:04:27,791
CHRIS:
Not playing the tuba.
90
00:04:27,791 --> 00:04:31,041
Name one tuba player
that's living his life like it's golden.
91
00:04:31,041 --> 00:04:32,750
- Oh.
- Just one.
92
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:34,708
Have you ever heard
somebody in the band say,
93
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:37,250
"And on tuba is,"
and they introduce him?
94
00:04:37,250 --> 00:04:39,250
CAROL: Hey, hon, I think
you should focus on the math.
95
00:04:39,250 --> 00:04:40,666
CHRIS:
You should focus on the math.
96
00:04:40,666 --> 00:04:42,458
No one ever blew up on the tuba.
97
00:04:42,458 --> 00:04:45,541
("THIS CHRISTMAS"
BY DONNY HATHAWAY PLAYING)
98
00:04:48,041 --> 00:04:50,583
(SINGING ALONG TO RADIO):
♪ Hang all the mistletoe ♪
99
00:04:50,583 --> 00:04:56,416
♪ I'm gonna get to know you better ♪
100
00:04:56,416 --> 00:04:58,833
♪ This Christmas ♪
101
00:04:58,833 --> 00:05:00,875
♪ And as we trim the tree ♪
102
00:05:00,875 --> 00:05:06,083
♪ How much fun it's gonna be together ♪
103
00:05:06,083 --> 00:05:08,750
♪ This Christmas ♪
104
00:05:08,750 --> 00:05:13,541
♪ The fireside is blazing bright ♪
105
00:05:13,541 --> 00:05:16,791
♪ We're caroling through the night... ♪
106
00:05:16,791 --> 00:05:18,208
Hey, good morning, Pam.
107
00:05:18,208 --> 00:05:19,958
(CRYING):
Good morning.
108
00:05:19,958 --> 00:05:22,208
- What's the matter with you?
- (SOBS)
109
00:05:22,208 --> 00:05:24,083
(SOBBING):
Merry Christmas.
110
00:05:28,416 --> 00:05:29,916
TRE:
But, hey, good news.
111
00:05:29,916 --> 00:05:32,166
Our outplacement officers
will gladly assist you
112
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:35,125
in obtaining the strongest references.
113
00:05:36,541 --> 00:05:39,208
Lee, nobody can talk
to the vendors like I can.
114
00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:42,666
Nobody has my relationships,
my history and my Rolodex.
115
00:05:42,666 --> 00:05:44,750
Rolodex, huh?
116
00:05:44,750 --> 00:05:46,166
Classic O.G.
117
00:05:46,166 --> 00:05:47,500
I love it.
118
00:05:48,875 --> 00:05:52,041
You're really gonna do this
right before Christmas?
119
00:05:52,041 --> 00:05:53,625
It's just business.
120
00:05:54,916 --> 00:05:57,291
Listen, we know it's the holidays.
121
00:05:57,291 --> 00:05:58,833
- (MOUTHING)
- We want to give you something
122
00:05:58,833 --> 00:06:00,916
to say thank you for your service.
123
00:06:03,625 --> 00:06:05,458
Hey, don't nobody want your fleece.
124
00:06:09,208 --> 00:06:11,125
Hey, you know what?
I'm-a take this fleece.
125
00:06:11,125 --> 00:06:12,625
You know what I'm gonna do?
126
00:06:12,625 --> 00:06:16,875
I'm gonna regift it, show you how much
contempt I have for your holiday fleece.
127
00:06:16,875 --> 00:06:19,166
There for you.
128
00:06:19,166 --> 00:06:20,291
Yeah.
129
00:06:21,416 --> 00:06:23,833
Merry Christmas, brother.
130
00:06:25,791 --> 00:06:27,375
Merry Christmas.
131
00:06:28,750 --> 00:06:30,833
Uh, who's next?
132
00:06:30,833 --> 00:06:35,541
CAROL: So I stopped the bleeding
on the night sort by 14%.
133
00:06:35,541 --> 00:06:37,625
Great job as always, Carol. Right?
134
00:06:37,625 --> 00:06:39,750
The regionals are gonna be
impressed by all this.
135
00:06:39,750 --> 00:06:43,083
So, do you think
that they will consider me
136
00:06:43,083 --> 00:06:45,458
for the director of operations position?
137
00:06:45,458 --> 00:06:48,750
I feel like when the regionals come,
they'll see how we are the...
138
00:06:48,750 --> 00:06:51,791
that we're the best distribution center
in the west.
139
00:06:51,791 --> 00:06:52,958
(BOTH LAUGH)
140
00:06:52,958 --> 00:06:55,125
Because of me and-and because of you.
Because of you.
141
00:06:55,125 --> 00:06:59,166
And be... well, because of...
Mostly because of me, so...
142
00:06:59,166 --> 00:07:01,750
can I count on your support?
143
00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:03,375
If everything goes perfectly.
144
00:07:03,375 --> 00:07:05,250
- Yes! Thank you.
- You got it.
145
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:07,458
- Good work.
- Thank you so much.
146
00:07:07,458 --> 00:07:09,583
Thanks. Yes!
147
00:07:09,583 --> 00:07:12,000
(PHONE VIBRATES)
148
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,416
Hello, Mrs. Carver.
149
00:07:13,416 --> 00:07:16,166
CAROL: You are never gonna believe
what just happened.
150
00:07:16,166 --> 00:07:18,083
Yeah, you know, I was gonna say
the same thing to you.
151
00:07:18,083 --> 00:07:20,750
I did it. I-I got,
I got Donald's support.
152
00:07:20,750 --> 00:07:23,041
Oh, that's great, babe.
153
00:07:23,041 --> 00:07:24,875
They'd be crazy not to promote you.
154
00:07:24,875 --> 00:07:28,500
Chris, this is gonna be, like, an increase
in pay and-and more vacation time.
155
00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:31,166
Hey, listen, um...
156
00:07:31,166 --> 00:07:33,916
- something funny happened here today, too.
- Oh, hang on. Hang on a...
157
00:07:33,916 --> 00:07:35,458
- There's a backup in the sort.
- (ALARM BUZZING)
158
00:07:35,458 --> 00:07:36,666
- I'm gonna call you back.
- Hey, Carol, listen...
159
00:07:36,666 --> 00:07:39,541
I'll call you later. Okay, bye.
160
00:07:39,541 --> 00:07:40,833
- (LINE BEEPING)
- (KNOCK ON GLASS)
161
00:07:40,833 --> 00:07:42,208
Yoo-hoo. Hi.
162
00:07:42,208 --> 00:07:44,500
I'm Kimmer, your outplacement officer.
163
00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:46,666
I'm here to assist in your transition.
164
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:48,583
- You're my what, now?
- Outplacement officer.
165
00:07:48,583 --> 00:07:51,125
- An outplacement officer?
- Yes, you're being outplaced.
166
00:07:51,125 --> 00:07:52,375
Ah, yes, I-I know.
167
00:07:52,375 --> 00:07:53,625
I knew I was being outplaced,
168
00:07:53,625 --> 00:07:58,916
but I didn't know that there was an
actual, uh, officer that assisted you.
169
00:07:58,916 --> 00:08:01,583
Yes, I'm here to help.
How are you feeling today?
170
00:08:01,583 --> 00:08:06,208
Well, you know, I got that...
got that, uh, outplaced feeling.
171
00:08:06,208 --> 00:08:08,041
So is this what you do?
172
00:08:08,041 --> 00:08:09,875
You help the fired people
leave their jobs?
173
00:08:09,875 --> 00:08:11,416
- RFPs.
- Oh, R...
174
00:08:11,416 --> 00:08:14,416
- "Recently fired persons."
- Oh, wow. Thank you, Kimmer.
175
00:08:14,416 --> 00:08:17,125
- And out we go.
- Oh. (CHUCKLING)
176
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:21,250
(CAR ALARM HONKS)
177
00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:25,500
♪ ♪
178
00:08:36,125 --> 00:08:38,791
("THE CHRISTMAS SONG"
BY NAT KING COLE PLAYING)
179
00:08:49,458 --> 00:08:54,416
♪ Chestnuts roasting on an open fire ♪
180
00:08:56,375 --> 00:09:01,041
♪ Jack Frost nipping at your nose... ♪
181
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,500
CAROL:
Hey, there you are.
182
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,916
- You ready?
- (SIGHS): Yeah.
183
00:09:06,083 --> 00:09:08,291
- Hey, Carol.
- Huh?
184
00:09:08,291 --> 00:09:10,666
There's something I... I...
185
00:09:10,666 --> 00:09:12,291
Where's the red wine?
186
00:09:12,291 --> 00:09:14,291
Ah, damn it.
187
00:09:14,291 --> 00:09:15,583
Oh, Chris, come on.
188
00:09:15,583 --> 00:09:17,875
I really don't want
to drink that box wine.
189
00:09:17,875 --> 00:09:19,083
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, honey.
190
00:09:19,083 --> 00:09:22,000
- You look pretty, Mom.
- Aw, thank you, sweetie.
191
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,833
Hey, can you tell Joy and Nick that we're across the street?
- Yeah.
192
00:09:24,833 --> 00:09:26,666
- And the pizza's on its way, okay?
- Okay.
193
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:29,125
- You ready?
- Yeah, I'm ready.
194
00:09:29,125 --> 00:09:30,583
(CHUCKLES)
195
00:09:30,583 --> 00:09:32,625
Okay, I think we should try pickleball.
196
00:09:32,625 --> 00:09:35,500
Seriously, everybody's doing it.
Scott and Shelly are doing it.
197
00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:40,250
And I think that we should get those
matching headbands and, um, shorts.
198
00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:41,875
You look so good in those shorts.
199
00:09:41,875 --> 00:09:43,625
And that way,
we could do stuff together.
200
00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,916
It'll be like we used to do.
You know how we used to do that?
201
00:09:45,916 --> 00:09:48,416
We would dress up and we would go out
and do, like, an activity.
202
00:09:48,416 --> 00:09:50,625
- Hey, Carol. Hey.
- Yes, my darling?
203
00:09:50,625 --> 00:09:51,833
Yes?
204
00:09:53,583 --> 00:09:55,375
I got laid off.
205
00:09:55,375 --> 00:09:57,458
Wait, what?
206
00:09:57,458 --> 00:09:59,750
I got laid off.
207
00:09:59,750 --> 00:10:02,416
Lee sold the company,
and they cut the sales division in half,
208
00:10:02,416 --> 00:10:03,750
and I was in the wrong half.
209
00:10:03,750 --> 00:10:06,375
Oh, my God. Wait, when did this happen?
210
00:10:06,375 --> 00:10:07,625
This morning.
211
00:10:07,625 --> 00:10:10,333
I didn't want to say anything about it
'cause you were so excited
212
00:10:10,333 --> 00:10:13,375
talking about Donald and the promotion.
213
00:10:13,375 --> 00:10:16,208
(SIGHS)
I just didn't want to ruin it, so...
214
00:10:16,208 --> 00:10:18,583
- Are you okay?
- No, I'm not okay.
215
00:10:18,583 --> 00:10:19,750
I'm screwed.
216
00:10:19,750 --> 00:10:21,666
No, you're not screwed.
You're not screwed.
217
00:10:21,666 --> 00:10:23,958
We'll... we'll figure this out.
218
00:10:23,958 --> 00:10:26,750
We will.
- Listen, the kids can't find out about this, okay?
219
00:10:26,750 --> 00:10:28,000
What are you talking
about? They love you.
220
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,250
They do, and they should know
what's going on.
221
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:32,708
No, I just don't want to ruin
the last Christmas.
222
00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:35,958
"Last Christmas"?
What are you talking about?
223
00:10:35,958 --> 00:10:37,958
- Joy is moving out.
- Uh-huh.
224
00:10:37,958 --> 00:10:40,500
Nick is not that far behind, and...
225
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:43,125
Oh, my God, my little baby girl is almost
old enough to realize what's going on.
226
00:10:43,125 --> 00:10:45,125
Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
227
00:10:46,291 --> 00:10:50,041
You got thrown a curveball, all right,
but this is not our last Christmas.
228
00:10:50,041 --> 00:10:51,208
Okay?
229
00:10:51,208 --> 00:10:53,625
It's okay. We're gonna figure it out.
230
00:10:53,625 --> 00:10:55,916
- Are we?
- Yes, we are. We're gonna figure it out.
231
00:10:57,541 --> 00:10:59,791
- All right.
- BRUCE (PIRATE ACCENT): Ahoy, neighbors!
232
00:10:59,791 --> 00:11:01,750
(LAUGHS):
Permission to come aboard!
233
00:11:01,750 --> 00:11:02,958
I got the good stuff!
234
00:11:02,958 --> 00:11:05,291
BRUCE:
Yeah, join us for a box of grog!
235
00:11:05,291 --> 00:11:07,083
He means wine!
236
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,958
We'll be right over!
237
00:11:08,958 --> 00:11:10,666
Give us two secs!
238
00:11:10,666 --> 00:11:12,041
(NORMAL VOICE):
There's a box of wine, though.
239
00:11:12,041 --> 00:11:13,750
- CAROL: Yeah.
- (LAUGHS)
240
00:11:13,750 --> 00:11:15,958
Do you want to skip this?
241
00:11:15,958 --> 00:11:17,458
- We can skip it.
- No, you heard him.
242
00:11:17,458 --> 00:11:20,041
- He got the good stuff. Let's go.
- All right.
243
00:11:20,041 --> 00:11:22,625
CHRIS:
Could do with a glass of the good stuff.
244
00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:24,541
- I'll drink the box myself.
- (LAUGHS)
245
00:11:24,541 --> 00:11:25,708
Maybe I'll feel better.
246
00:11:25,708 --> 00:11:27,333
CAROL:
I'll give you some good stuff later.
247
00:11:27,333 --> 00:11:30,333
- CHRIS: Oh, okay, I'm-a hold you to that.
- (LAUGHS): Okay.
248
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:33,333
("WE WISH YOU A MERRY
CHRISTMAS" PLAYING)
249
00:11:33,333 --> 00:11:35,166
(LIVELY CHATTER)
250
00:11:35,166 --> 00:11:37,333
Aidan's school called.
251
00:11:37,333 --> 00:11:39,541
Apparently, compared to
the other kids in his class,
252
00:11:39,541 --> 00:11:43,208
he is testing off the charts in math.
(LAUGHS)
253
00:11:43,208 --> 00:11:45,333
You know,
I saw an article online recently
254
00:11:45,333 --> 00:11:48,916
that said a lot of sociopaths
were math prodigies.
255
00:11:50,208 --> 00:11:51,666
But not Aidan.
256
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:56,875
Well, I don't know about you guys, but
I'm so excited Candy Cane Lane is here.
257
00:11:56,875 --> 00:11:59,250
- Yeah.
- The lights, the decorations,
258
00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:00,541
the goodwill between neighbors.
259
00:12:00,541 --> 00:12:03,083
I hear the competition
is different this year.
260
00:12:03,083 --> 00:12:05,333
MAN:
Hurry up, guys. It's about to start.
261
00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:07,166
- (FANFARE PLAYS)
- ANNOUNCER: This is Prism 1.
262
00:12:07,166 --> 00:12:09,500
Seeing the world through your eyes.
263
00:12:11,041 --> 00:12:13,541
Hi. I'm Emerson Turner.
264
00:12:13,541 --> 00:12:15,291
And I'm (CLICKS TONGUE) Kit Kleiman.
265
00:12:15,291 --> 00:12:17,250
Oh, that's-that's new.
266
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:20,500
And we're hosting
the Candy Cane Lane Spectacular
267
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:22,666
live from beautiful El Segundo.
268
00:12:22,666 --> 00:12:24,750
Only on Prism Cable.
269
00:12:24,750 --> 00:12:27,791
EMERSON: Not only will there be
music, merrymaking...
270
00:12:27,791 --> 00:12:29,000
And lights!
271
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,208
...but there will be
high stakes as well,
272
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:33,750
as the neighbors compete
for best decorated house,
273
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:35,333
and because of our sponsors...
274
00:12:35,333 --> 00:12:37,708
Wait, sponsor?
We've never had a sponsor. What?
275
00:12:37,708 --> 00:12:40,583
- ...$100,000.
- (CASH REGISTER DINGS)
276
00:12:40,583 --> 00:12:42,166
- (CROWD GASPING, MURMURING)
- SUZ: I'm sorry, what?
277
00:12:42,166 --> 00:12:44,416
- (LAUGHTER)
- Shut up! -Oh, my...
278
00:12:44,416 --> 00:12:46,125
$100,000?
279
00:12:46,125 --> 00:12:48,500
Join us all week
as we cover the festivities,
280
00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:52,166
starting with
our Santa's house lighting parade.
281
00:12:52,166 --> 00:12:55,916
And ending with our spectacular finale
on Christmas Eve.
282
00:12:55,916 --> 00:12:57,500
- (SQUEALING)
- Christmas Eve!
283
00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:59,541
EMERSON:
Christmas Eve is only three days away,
284
00:12:59,541 --> 00:13:02,416
so let the competition begin.
285
00:13:02,416 --> 00:13:04,291
- Ho ho ho.
- (LAUGHS)
286
00:13:04,291 --> 00:13:07,041
- (FANFARE PLAYS)
- (EXCITED MURMURING)
287
00:13:07,041 --> 00:13:08,458
(LAUGHS)
288
00:13:08,458 --> 00:13:10,041
- Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
- Yeah.
289
00:13:10,041 --> 00:13:12,500
- (YAWNS)
- This was so fun.
290
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:13,708
- I'm tired.
- Thank you so much.
291
00:13:13,708 --> 00:13:15,625
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- (LIVELY CHATTER)
292
00:13:15,625 --> 00:13:17,291
It was so nice. It was so nice.
293
00:13:17,291 --> 00:13:19,041
It was so ni... thank... okay, we're...
294
00:13:19,041 --> 00:13:20,166
- Thank you so much.
- Yes, have a good night.
295
00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:21,416
- We got to get Aidan...
- The wine was amazing.
296
00:13:21,416 --> 00:13:24,375
Of course, we got to get Aidan to sleep.
Good night, everybody!
297
00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:26,458
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
298
00:13:33,083 --> 00:13:34,416
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
299
00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:37,416
I need your brackets
to mount a reindeer.
300
00:13:37,416 --> 00:13:38,875
What?
301
00:13:38,875 --> 00:13:41,541
(WHIRRING)
302
00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:44,250
Dad!
303
00:13:44,250 --> 00:13:46,000
(HIP-HOP BEAT PLAYING)
304
00:13:48,208 --> 00:13:49,583
Dad, are you, are you serious?
305
00:13:49,583 --> 00:13:51,500
Thank you, son.
306
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:55,875
♪ ♪
307
00:13:57,458 --> 00:13:58,625
I've got a supplier.
308
00:13:58,625 --> 00:14:00,625
I can hook you up with more
if you need it.
309
00:14:00,625 --> 00:14:02,250
That's my girl.
310
00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:04,583
CAROL:
Uh, what is all this?
311
00:14:04,583 --> 00:14:06,208
- What is this?
- What do you mean, what is all that?
312
00:14:06,208 --> 00:14:07,958
You said to get a plan, so I got a plan.
313
00:14:07,958 --> 00:14:09,291
Ugh. Okay.
314
00:14:09,291 --> 00:14:12,583
Hey, look, I know it looks like a lot,
but I got to do something spectacular,
315
00:14:12,583 --> 00:14:13,750
something they've never seen before.
316
00:14:13,750 --> 00:14:16,250
- Okay, well... (GROANS)
- This'll be...
317
00:14:16,250 --> 00:14:19,000
I was talking about
a plan for after Christmas.
318
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,916
- Mm.
- Yes, like
319
00:14:20,916 --> 00:14:23,208
(QUIETLY):
Maybe update your LinkedIn,
320
00:14:23,208 --> 00:14:26,708
telling your vendors, letting people
know you're back on the market.
321
00:14:26,708 --> 00:14:28,333
You know, we good, we good.
322
00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:29,625
- You know why?
- Why?
323
00:14:29,625 --> 00:14:31,541
'Cause I'm gonna win Candy Cane Lane.
324
00:14:31,541 --> 00:14:34,333
Oh, my love, I know that this is
something that's so important to you,
325
00:14:34,333 --> 00:14:39,541
but I think that you need to consider
the idea that you might not win.
326
00:14:39,541 --> 00:14:43,333
Oh, well, I also might not not win.
327
00:14:43,333 --> 00:14:46,375
Okay, you know what?
Let's go, guys. Come on. Let's go.
328
00:14:46,375 --> 00:14:48,291
- Let's go to school. Oh.
- Yes. Get the show on the road.
329
00:14:48,291 --> 00:14:50,250
Hey,
can you bring Holly to school today?
330
00:14:50,250 --> 00:14:52,666
I don't know if I can do that because
I got a lot of stuff to do today.
331
00:14:52,666 --> 00:14:55,416
I'm really busy.
I got to get a thousand icicles.
332
00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:58,375
- God, okay, well, I got to go to work.
- Okay, touché.
333
00:14:58,375 --> 00:14:59,458
- Touché.
- Okay, you're going to work.
334
00:14:59,458 --> 00:15:01,541
- Uh-huh. You got it?
- Okay. I will handle it.
335
00:15:01,541 --> 00:15:02,791
- Thank you.
- Thank you, my love.
336
00:15:02,791 --> 00:15:04,250
- All right, I love you.
- Love you, too.
337
00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:05,958
- Bye-bye!
- (DOOR CLOSES)
338
00:15:05,958 --> 00:15:09,083
Yeah, I'm not going to school, am I?
339
00:15:09,083 --> 00:15:11,416
Don't be ridiculous.
Of course you're not.
340
00:15:11,416 --> 00:15:13,500
- ("JINGLE BELLS" PLAYING)
- (PEOPLE CLAMORING)
341
00:15:18,750 --> 00:15:20,750
("SILENT NIGHT" PLAYING)
342
00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:26,750
(SOFT POP MUSIC PLAYING)
343
00:15:28,875 --> 00:15:30,291
Already?
344
00:15:31,666 --> 00:15:33,541
You got to be freaking kidding me.
345
00:15:40,083 --> 00:15:42,708
But our decorations are handmade.
346
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:44,166
They'll see how hard you worked.
347
00:15:44,166 --> 00:15:45,791
That's better than buying stuff.
348
00:15:45,791 --> 00:15:48,875
Hard work? Nobody cares anymore.
349
00:15:49,875 --> 00:15:51,791
And crap beats quality every time.
350
00:15:52,875 --> 00:15:54,541
Hard work.
351
00:15:54,541 --> 00:15:56,666
I'm sorry, you're old enough
to know the truth.
352
00:15:56,666 --> 00:15:59,875
Whenever somebody says to you,
"It's just business,"
353
00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:01,666
then you're the one getting f...
354
00:16:01,666 --> 00:16:03,833
Fleeced. Fleeced.
355
00:16:03,833 --> 00:16:05,708
"Fleeced"?
356
00:16:05,708 --> 00:16:06,916
Fleeced, yes.
357
00:16:06,916 --> 00:16:09,000
Yeah, fleeced.
You're the one getting fleeced.
358
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,916
I got fleeced yesterday.
359
00:16:12,083 --> 00:16:13,916
And I did not like it.
360
00:16:17,875 --> 00:16:20,208
Who cares about craftsmanship
or relationships?
361
00:16:20,208 --> 00:16:22,250
You spent your whole career developing.
362
00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:25,583
- Toss you out like cheap plastic...
- Dad. Stop!
363
00:16:29,250 --> 00:16:31,250
(LIGHTS BUZZING SOFTLY)
364
00:16:31,250 --> 00:16:33,333
♪ ♪
365
00:16:42,541 --> 00:16:45,541
- (BELLS JINGLING)
- (DOOR CREAKING)
366
00:16:53,583 --> 00:16:56,125
CHRIS:
Holly, look at this.
367
00:16:56,125 --> 00:16:57,708
HOLLY:
Wow.
368
00:16:57,708 --> 00:16:59,791
♪ ♪
369
00:17:17,875 --> 00:17:19,875
(SOFT MECHANICAL WHIRRING AND BUZZING)
370
00:17:37,458 --> 00:17:39,458
♪ ♪
371
00:17:42,958 --> 00:17:45,916
CHRIS:
This is unbelievable.
372
00:17:45,916 --> 00:17:48,250
- Wow.
- This is amazing.
373
00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:49,750
Look at this detail here.
374
00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:51,125
- I know.
- Look at this thing. It looks like...
375
00:17:51,125 --> 00:17:52,625
- Merry Christmas!
- Oh, sh... Hey.
376
00:17:52,625 --> 00:17:54,166
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- (CHUCKLES)
377
00:17:54,166 --> 00:17:56,250
I didn't mean to scare you.
378
00:17:56,250 --> 00:17:57,708
(LAUGHS)
379
00:17:57,708 --> 00:17:59,583
Who am I kidding? Of course I did.
380
00:17:59,583 --> 00:18:01,500
What's Christmas
without a little terror?
381
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:03,166
(LAUGHS) I'm Pepper.
382
00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:05,125
Hey, Pepper.
383
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:07,083
Uh, hey, h-how long
has this place been here?
384
00:18:07,083 --> 00:18:10,125
Oh, well, we're what the kids call
a pop-up.
385
00:18:10,125 --> 00:18:12,500
You know, here today,
gone tomorrow. Pop.
386
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:14,916
Very Instagrammable. Go on,
take an elfie.
387
00:18:14,916 --> 00:18:16,375
Oh.
388
00:18:16,375 --> 00:18:17,833
Sorry, sugarplum.
389
00:18:17,833 --> 00:18:19,916
Please, please be careful with that.
390
00:18:19,916 --> 00:18:22,083
That's very precious to me.
391
00:18:22,083 --> 00:18:24,458
HOLLY:
They look so real.
392
00:18:24,458 --> 00:18:25,666
Don't they?
393
00:18:25,666 --> 00:18:27,541
Each one has their own story.
394
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:28,833
So what's yours?
395
00:18:28,833 --> 00:18:30,625
Indoor, outdoor? Flashy, classy?
396
00:18:30,625 --> 00:18:31,791
Mistletoe, mistle-no?
397
00:18:31,791 --> 00:18:34,208
- We are looking to kick some ass.
- Ah-ah.
398
00:18:34,208 --> 00:18:36,416
(CHUCKLES)
That's not what she meant to say, Holly.
399
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:37,833
Oh, children always say what they mean.
400
00:18:37,833 --> 00:18:39,875
It's adults you can't trust.
401
00:18:39,875 --> 00:18:41,750
See, I like her.
402
00:18:41,750 --> 00:18:42,958
- CHRIS: Yeah.
- Mm.
403
00:18:42,958 --> 00:18:44,625
Listen.
404
00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:47,916
Every year, our block
goes all out for Christmas.
405
00:18:47,916 --> 00:18:49,291
You have my attention.
406
00:18:49,291 --> 00:18:50,791
And this year,
the stakes are higher than ever.
407
00:18:50,791 --> 00:18:52,083
Keeping up with the Joneses.
408
00:18:52,083 --> 00:18:54,166
It's actually gonna be televised
this year.
409
00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:55,791
Cable? Streaming? The Internet?
410
00:18:55,791 --> 00:18:57,541
Probably all of that.
411
00:18:57,541 --> 00:18:59,791
This year, the competition's got
a lot of money on the line,
412
00:18:59,791 --> 00:19:01,208
and I mean a lot of money.
413
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:03,833
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold your reindeers.
414
00:19:03,833 --> 00:19:05,291
Christmas is not about money.
415
00:19:05,291 --> 00:19:06,708
I agree. Christmas is...
416
00:19:06,708 --> 00:19:08,250
It has never been about money.
417
00:19:08,250 --> 00:19:09,916
Christmas is not about money.
418
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:12,166
- It's not.
- Except that it is.
419
00:19:12,166 --> 00:19:15,291
(LAUGHING):
I'm just kidding. Of course it is.
420
00:19:15,291 --> 00:19:16,708
'Tis the reason for the season.
421
00:19:16,708 --> 00:19:18,791
Follow me. Let's kick some ass.
422
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:20,875
♪ ♪
423
00:19:31,291 --> 00:19:36,250
♪ On the 12th day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me ♪
424
00:19:36,250 --> 00:19:38,833
♪ 12 drummers drumming,
11 pipers piping ♪
425
00:19:38,833 --> 00:19:41,916
♪ Ten lords a-leaping,
nine ladies dancing ♪
426
00:19:41,916 --> 00:19:44,458
♪ Eight maids a-milking,
seven swans a-swimming ♪
427
00:19:44,458 --> 00:19:47,875
♪ Six geese a-laying, five gold rings ♪
428
00:19:47,875 --> 00:19:50,833
♪ Four calling birds,
three French hens, two turtledoves ♪
429
00:19:50,833 --> 00:19:54,958
♪ And a partridge in a pear tree. ♪
430
00:19:54,958 --> 00:19:56,458
(PEPPER GASPS)
431
00:19:56,458 --> 00:19:58,750
Now, that, my friend,
is the pièce de résistance,
432
00:19:58,750 --> 00:20:02,000
the crème de la crème,
the winner, winner, chicken dinner.
433
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,208
And up there at the tippy-tippy top
434
00:20:04,208 --> 00:20:06,500
is the luckiest partridge
you'll ever get your hands on.
435
00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:08,083
I'll take it.
436
00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:10,958
Oh, cool your cocoa, Krampus. (CHUCKLES)
437
00:20:10,958 --> 00:20:12,958
These are handmade.
438
00:20:12,958 --> 00:20:14,333
Each one of a kind.
439
00:20:14,333 --> 00:20:17,583
I need to know that you understand
the true meaning of Christmas.
440
00:20:17,583 --> 00:20:19,750
Are you kidding me? I'm Mr. Christmas.
441
00:20:19,750 --> 00:20:21,291
Christmas is about giving.
442
00:20:21,291 --> 00:20:24,000
And Christmas is about
the power of a child's imagination.
443
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,416
And it's about giving the least popular
reindeer with the red nose
444
00:20:27,416 --> 00:20:29,458
- a chance to be great.
- Mm.
445
00:20:29,458 --> 00:20:32,500
Unless you want to
go the religious angle.
446
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:34,583
(LAUGHS) Jesus Christ, no.
447
00:20:34,583 --> 00:20:35,791
I'll ring you up.
448
00:20:35,791 --> 00:20:38,166
- One magnum Toblerone...
- (KEYS CLACKING)
449
00:20:39,583 --> 00:20:41,416
...36 boxes of Christmas lights,
450
00:20:41,416 --> 00:20:44,250
one "12 days of Christmas" tree.
451
00:20:44,250 --> 00:20:46,833
- (CASH REGISTER BEEPS)
- And your grand total comes to...
452
00:20:46,833 --> 00:20:48,250
No, no, no. I don't even want to know.
453
00:20:48,250 --> 00:20:50,333
- Probably for the best.
- (CHUCKLES)
454
00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:51,875
Uh, tap your card, please.
455
00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:53,125
Yeah, sure.
456
00:20:53,125 --> 00:20:54,583
(MACHINE BEEPS "JINGLE BELLS")
457
00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:00,500
Signature, please.
458
00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:01,916
(CHUCKLES)
459
00:21:05,583 --> 00:21:09,458
Oh, ignore all the fine print,
legal mumbo jumbo. (CHUCKLES)
460
00:21:09,458 --> 00:21:12,583
Honestly, it's like
you're signing your life away.
461
00:21:12,583 --> 00:21:13,791
(BOTH LAUGH)
462
00:21:13,791 --> 00:21:16,750
Yeah. (CLEARS THROAT)
463
00:21:16,750 --> 00:21:19,916
(TOYS RINGING, WAILING, HONKING LOUDLY)
464
00:21:19,916 --> 00:21:21,708
(SQUAWKS)
465
00:21:26,958 --> 00:21:28,500
Silence!
466
00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:30,583
(TOYS WIND DOWN)
467
00:21:31,666 --> 00:21:32,875
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
468
00:21:34,708 --> 00:21:36,875
Go on.
469
00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:39,833
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
470
00:21:45,041 --> 00:21:47,083
(PRINTER BEEPS)
471
00:21:52,833 --> 00:21:56,083
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
472
00:21:56,083 --> 00:21:57,791
("GEE WHIZ, IT'S CHRISTMAS"
BY CARLA THOMAS PLAYING)
473
00:21:57,791 --> 00:22:00,750
♪ Hello there ♪
474
00:22:00,750 --> 00:22:05,083
♪ Merry Christmas, how've you been? ♪
475
00:22:07,291 --> 00:22:11,416
♪ It's been a long, long time ♪
476
00:22:11,416 --> 00:22:14,541
♪ Can't explain why
you crossed my mind ♪
477
00:22:14,541 --> 00:22:17,166
♪ I guess it's just to wish you ♪
478
00:22:17,166 --> 00:22:19,291
Okay, keep coming.
479
00:22:19,291 --> 00:22:20,458
♪ A merry Christmas... ♪
480
00:22:20,458 --> 00:22:22,375
Keep going. Yeah.
481
00:22:24,125 --> 00:22:25,958
- (GRUNTS)
- A little more.
482
00:22:25,958 --> 00:22:27,083
Yeah.
483
00:22:27,083 --> 00:22:29,125
Okay, stop.
484
00:22:29,125 --> 00:22:30,291
Stop!
485
00:22:32,833 --> 00:22:36,000
- (SLAMS LOUDLY)
- (ELECTRONIC GIGGLING INSIDE)
486
00:22:41,625 --> 00:22:43,166
"Rub partridge."
487
00:22:50,083 --> 00:22:52,000
I just want it to be a great Christmas.
488
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,833
Let me win this thing.
489
00:22:58,333 --> 00:23:00,791
It's stupid. Daddy's trippin'.
490
00:23:02,416 --> 00:23:03,958
(CHRIS SIGHS)
491
00:23:10,583 --> 00:23:12,541
(LID CREAKING)
492
00:23:17,208 --> 00:23:19,125
(YELLS, GRUNTS)
493
00:23:19,125 --> 00:23:20,791
(MECHANICAL CLICKING, WHIRRING)
494
00:23:23,291 --> 00:23:25,083
♪ ♪
495
00:23:29,375 --> 00:23:30,375
(CHIRPS)
496
00:23:39,416 --> 00:23:40,833
(CHUCKLES)
497
00:23:44,541 --> 00:23:46,416
(FANFARE PLAYS)
498
00:23:46,416 --> 00:23:48,916
ANNOUNCER:
This is Prism 1.
499
00:23:49,916 --> 00:23:51,083
(LAUGHS)
500
00:23:51,083 --> 00:23:55,000
It's beginning to look a lot like
Christmas here in El Segundo.
501
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,208
I'm (CLICKS TONGUE) Kit Kleiman.
502
00:23:57,208 --> 00:23:59,125
We're still doing that.
503
00:23:59,125 --> 00:24:03,583
And I'm Emerson Turner, and welcome
to opening night here on Candy Cane Lane
504
00:24:03,583 --> 00:24:05,625
- where the temperature is cooling off...
- Ooh.
505
00:24:05,625 --> 00:24:07,250
...but the competition, my friends,
506
00:24:07,250 --> 00:24:08,916
- the competition is heating up.
- (KIT EXCLAIMS)
507
00:24:08,916 --> 00:24:12,666
And let me just say how thrilled I am
to be here with you.
508
00:24:12,666 --> 00:24:15,208
And I am also here with you.
509
00:24:15,208 --> 00:24:19,916
Well, the 1300 block of Acacia Avenue
is about to get lit.
510
00:24:19,916 --> 00:24:22,666
(SCATTING EXCITEDLY)
511
00:24:22,666 --> 00:24:23,750
(LAUGHING)
512
00:24:23,750 --> 00:24:26,291
And with good reason, 'cause this year,
513
00:24:26,291 --> 00:24:30,125
the residents of Candy Cane Lane
are competing for a $100,000 prize.
514
00:24:30,125 --> 00:24:31,666
Well, this is exciting.
515
00:24:31,666 --> 00:24:33,833
I've been looking forward to this
all year.
516
00:24:33,833 --> 00:24:36,166
And you know what,
I've been looking forward to this, boy,
517
00:24:36,166 --> 00:24:38,041
ever since I graduated top of my class
518
00:24:38,041 --> 00:24:39,833
from the Columbia Graduate School
of Journalism.
519
00:24:39,833 --> 00:24:40,916
Really?
520
00:24:40,916 --> 00:24:43,166
No. So let's kick it off by sending it
521
00:24:43,166 --> 00:24:47,000
to our Prism Cable News meteorologist
Sunny Roberts.
522
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,250
(FANFARE PLAYS)
523
00:24:49,250 --> 00:24:51,333
{\an8}JOSH:
Can I give y'all some advice?
524
00:24:51,333 --> 00:24:54,000
When y'all brought the spaceship out
and mixed it in with Santa Claus,
525
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,083
it screamed, "I don't want to win."
526
00:24:56,083 --> 00:24:57,875
I'm sorry, who is that?
527
00:24:57,875 --> 00:25:00,625
Oh, that's my nephew Josh!
528
00:25:00,625 --> 00:25:02,333
He's an influencer.
529
00:25:02,333 --> 00:25:04,833
Okay, where is... where's Sunny?
Where's Sunny?
530
00:25:04,833 --> 00:25:06,750
(HORN HONKS, CROWD CHEERING IN DISTANCE)
531
00:25:06,750 --> 00:25:08,500
Hold up, hold up.
I got, I got, I got to go to work.
532
00:25:08,500 --> 00:25:09,708
I got to go to... (STAMMERING)
533
00:25:09,708 --> 00:25:11,708
- It's time to work!
- Why you ain't tell me...
534
00:25:11,708 --> 00:25:14,791
We're recording!
This is live! This is live!
535
00:25:14,791 --> 00:25:16,208
{\an8}Welcome!
536
00:25:16,208 --> 00:25:19,125
{\an8}Coming live from Prism Cable, ya dig?
537
00:25:19,125 --> 00:25:22,750
{\an8}Your boy Josh DaBoss
hanging with Santa Claus.
538
00:25:22,750 --> 00:25:24,125
{\an8}You know what time it is.
539
00:25:24,125 --> 00:25:25,625
{\an8}Ain't nobody come to play! (CHUCKLES)
540
00:25:25,625 --> 00:25:27,750
- Yes!
- On Candy Cane Lane.
541
00:25:27,750 --> 00:25:31,708
{\an8}Ay, KJ, D-Berry, I told y'all
I'm gonna be on the news!
542
00:25:31,708 --> 00:25:33,833
Didn't I tell you? Ah! (CHUCKLES)
543
00:25:33,833 --> 00:25:35,541
Make sure y'all hit that
like and subscribe button,
544
00:25:35,541 --> 00:25:38,291
'cause I don't know
how long I'm-a have this job.
545
00:25:38,291 --> 00:25:40,083
Is this gonna be on Roku cable?
546
00:25:40,083 --> 00:25:41,458
Well, you heard him.
547
00:25:41,458 --> 00:25:45,500
It's time to get this party started
with the big man himself,
548
00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:50,041
the one, the only Santa!
549
00:25:50,041 --> 00:25:52,125
(BAND PLAYING "HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS")
550
00:25:58,916 --> 00:26:00,125
Yeah! (LAUGHS)
551
00:26:00,125 --> 00:26:01,333
Oh, here we go.
552
00:26:01,333 --> 00:26:03,333
They are starting to
turn on some lights.
553
00:26:03,333 --> 00:26:05,000
- Let's see what happens.
- (LAUGHS): Hey.
554
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:08,916
EMERSON: And with one wave
of Santa's magical pointer finger,
555
00:26:08,916 --> 00:26:10,708
the houses light up.
556
00:26:10,708 --> 00:26:12,791
- ♪ Joy to the world ♪
- Oh!
557
00:26:12,791 --> 00:26:15,291
♪ The Lord is come ♪
558
00:26:15,291 --> 00:26:18,666
- ♪ Let Earth receive her king ♪
- (SONG CHANGES)
559
00:26:18,666 --> 00:26:22,666
♪ Hanukkah, Hanukkah... ♪
560
00:26:22,666 --> 00:26:25,500
Whoa! Santa Claus
got it lit up down here!
561
00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:29,041
They got the Hanukkah mixed in
with the Christians,
562
00:26:29,041 --> 00:26:30,916
but, you know, Jesus was a Jew.
563
00:26:30,916 --> 00:26:33,416
Yes! He was Jewish.
564
00:26:33,416 --> 00:26:36,083
L'chaim to all of our Jewish supporters.
565
00:26:37,458 --> 00:26:39,666
Santa Claus is lighting up everything.
566
00:26:39,666 --> 00:26:41,250
You got a LAX house.
567
00:26:41,250 --> 00:26:44,041
♪ I just wanna fly... ♪
568
00:26:44,041 --> 00:26:46,375
♪ ♪
569
00:26:49,250 --> 00:26:51,083
(BAND PLAYING LIVELY MUSIC)
570
00:26:54,125 --> 00:26:55,291
(HORN HONKS IN DISTANCE)
571
00:26:55,291 --> 00:26:58,041
Dad, Dad, Santa's coming!
Hurry up! He's coming! Hurry up!
572
00:26:58,750 --> 00:27:00,208
CHRIS:
Okay.
573
00:27:04,750 --> 00:27:06,333
- (CAROL SHOUTS)
- (BAND PLAYING LIVELY MUSIC)
574
00:27:06,333 --> 00:27:09,125
Oh, you look amazing! Hey! Oh!
575
00:27:09,125 --> 00:27:11,458
(LAUGHS) Oh, look at him go!
576
00:27:11,458 --> 00:27:13,541
♪ ♪
577
00:27:17,125 --> 00:27:19,125
HOLLY:
Dad, Dad, he's coming! He's coming!
578
00:27:19,125 --> 00:27:20,625
I know. I'm ready.
579
00:27:20,625 --> 00:27:23,750
He's two houses away. Hurry up!
580
00:27:29,958 --> 00:27:31,833
(ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
581
00:27:31,833 --> 00:27:33,833
Oh! That's the Matrix?
582
00:27:37,458 --> 00:27:40,208
- Hey! Matrix!
- EMERSON: Oh.
583
00:27:40,208 --> 00:27:42,375
HOLLY:
Dad, they're almost here!
584
00:27:42,375 --> 00:27:44,041
(HORN HONKS IN DISTANCE)
585
00:27:45,541 --> 00:27:47,416
BRUCE:
Hey, Santa! Santa!
586
00:27:47,416 --> 00:27:50,791
Strap yourself in because
I'm about to blow this house up!
587
00:27:50,791 --> 00:27:52,125
Oh!
588
00:27:52,125 --> 00:27:54,291
("RUN RUDOLPH RUN"
BY FOO FIGHTERS PLAYING)
589
00:27:57,333 --> 00:27:58,500
Right?
590
00:27:58,500 --> 00:28:00,916
♪ You know you're the mastermind ♪
591
00:28:01,916 --> 00:28:03,375
♪ Run, run, Rudolph ♪
592
00:28:03,375 --> 00:28:06,375
♪ Randolph's running way behind... ♪
593
00:28:07,583 --> 00:28:09,208
Wow.
594
00:28:09,208 --> 00:28:11,750
This house has won the past four years,
595
00:28:11,750 --> 00:28:13,541
so it looks like we have
an early front-runner.
596
00:28:13,541 --> 00:28:15,291
Mm, he's gonna win again.
597
00:28:15,291 --> 00:28:17,000
HOLLY:
We're next, Dad, we're next!
598
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:18,166
Come on, Chris, what do you got?
599
00:28:18,166 --> 00:28:20,083
♪ ♪
600
00:28:23,041 --> 00:28:24,291
Come on, Dad.
601
00:28:25,916 --> 00:28:27,666
Come on, baby. Come on, baby. Come on.
602
00:28:29,166 --> 00:28:30,958
- (PLUG CLICKS)
- (ELECTRICITY WHIRS)
603
00:28:30,958 --> 00:28:33,208
(CROWD GROANING)
604
00:28:33,208 --> 00:28:36,916
(CROWD MURMURING, BOOING)
605
00:28:36,916 --> 00:28:39,000
JOSH:
Man, come on, brother man.
606
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,583
You must not pay your light bill.
607
00:28:40,583 --> 00:28:42,500
You couldn't hook it up to the Matrix?
608
00:28:42,500 --> 00:28:44,333
Ah, poor guy.
609
00:28:44,333 --> 00:28:45,583
What a disappointment.
610
00:28:45,583 --> 00:28:47,125
God, you sound like my father.
611
00:28:47,125 --> 00:28:49,875
Josh, what's going on down there?
612
00:28:49,875 --> 00:28:51,166
(STAMMERS)
613
00:28:51,166 --> 00:28:52,541
JOSH:
Santa Claus, give it one more.
614
00:28:52,541 --> 00:28:56,250
One more shot. Do your little thing.
Do your little thing you do.
615
00:28:56,250 --> 00:28:58,458
♪ ♪
616
00:29:01,708 --> 00:29:03,333
- (SWITCH BEEPS)
- (CHOIR SINGING "TOTAL PRAISE")
617
00:29:04,833 --> 00:29:07,291
- ♪ Amen ♪
- (CROWD MURMURING)
618
00:29:07,291 --> 00:29:12,083
♪ Amen... ♪
619
00:29:12,083 --> 00:29:13,916
(RAPID WARBLING)
620
00:29:13,916 --> 00:29:18,541
♪ Amen ♪
621
00:29:18,541 --> 00:29:23,500
♪ Amen... ♪
622
00:29:23,500 --> 00:29:29,541
♪ A... ♪
623
00:29:29,541 --> 00:29:31,250
(LAUGHS):
Wow!
624
00:29:31,250 --> 00:29:35,166
♪ ...men ♪
625
00:29:35,166 --> 00:29:37,041
(RAPID RATTLING)
626
00:29:38,041 --> 00:29:39,583
- (SINGING ENDS)
- (CROWD CHEERING)
627
00:29:40,666 --> 00:29:42,375
Dad! You did it!
628
00:29:42,375 --> 00:29:43,541
Yeah, we did!
629
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,250
(WHOOPING, LAUGHING)
630
00:29:46,250 --> 00:29:47,583
That's my house.
631
00:29:47,583 --> 00:29:49,833
- That is my husband! Hold on!
- Yeah. Nice.
632
00:29:51,500 --> 00:29:53,166
Um, I'll be right back.
633
00:29:54,875 --> 00:29:56,708
Oh, Dad, this is amazing!
634
00:29:56,708 --> 00:29:57,958
It's amazing, yes.
635
00:30:00,625 --> 00:30:02,458
- (LAUGHTER) -JOY: Oh, my God.
- CAROL: Chris!
636
00:30:02,458 --> 00:30:04,750
- Chris! This is incredible!
- Hey!
637
00:30:04,750 --> 00:30:06,125
- You see this?
- Oh, my God!
638
00:30:06,125 --> 00:30:07,375
Look what you did!
639
00:30:07,375 --> 00:30:08,625
(LAUGHTER)
640
00:30:08,625 --> 00:30:09,791
JOSH:
Give me some!
641
00:30:09,791 --> 00:30:11,333
Got a six-foot elf.
642
00:30:11,333 --> 00:30:14,125
I ain't never seen nothing like it.
I ain't never seen that.
643
00:30:14,125 --> 00:30:16,958
I think this is the house to beat,
don't you, Emerson?
644
00:30:16,958 --> 00:30:18,750
All is definitely bright.
645
00:30:18,750 --> 00:30:21,416
And things will only get brighter
on Christmas Eve
646
00:30:21,416 --> 00:30:24,666
when Prism Cable brings you the...
Live from El Segundo...
647
00:30:24,666 --> 00:30:28,916
Candy Cane Lane Spectacular
Extravaganza Bonanza!
648
00:30:28,916 --> 00:30:30,625
- (LAUGHS)
- That's a mouthful.
649
00:30:30,625 --> 00:30:33,083
- I added that last part.
- Yeah, we-we know.
650
00:30:33,083 --> 00:30:36,708
(GASPS) Oh, my gosh.
651
00:30:42,166 --> 00:30:44,166
(ELECTRONIC WHIRRING)
652
00:30:46,291 --> 00:30:48,291
(PHONE VIBRATING)
653
00:30:54,875 --> 00:30:56,916
- (SIGHS)
- SQUAWKING VOICE: Uh, hello?
654
00:30:56,916 --> 00:30:58,250
- Hello.
- Hello, Chris.
655
00:30:58,250 --> 00:31:00,166
- (SQUAWKS)
- And who is this?
656
00:31:00,166 --> 00:31:01,375
Rise and shine, naughty boy.
657
00:31:01,375 --> 00:31:03,791
Do you know where your ornaments are?
658
00:31:03,791 --> 00:31:05,000
They know where you are.
659
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:06,083
They'll be coming for you.
660
00:31:06,083 --> 00:31:08,375
(SQUAWKING LAUGHTER)
661
00:31:08,375 --> 00:31:09,500
(PHONE BEEPS)
662
00:31:11,083 --> 00:31:14,708
Hey, teenagers, how do you block
an unknown caller?
663
00:31:14,708 --> 00:31:17,250
I'll tell you if you tell me
how to block out Nick's music.
664
00:31:17,250 --> 00:31:18,958
- What?
- (HIP-HOP BEAT PLAYING)
665
00:31:18,958 --> 00:31:21,083
Hey, what are you listening to?
666
00:31:21,083 --> 00:31:22,500
Uh, it's... I wrote it.
667
00:31:22,500 --> 00:31:23,833
- You want to hear it from the beginning?
- (MUSIC STOPS)
668
00:31:23,833 --> 00:31:25,625
JOY:
Uh, no.
669
00:31:25,625 --> 00:31:27,375
- (STAMMERS)
- What's wrong with you?
670
00:31:27,375 --> 00:31:28,583
In a second.
671
00:31:28,583 --> 00:31:31,166
♪ ♪
672
00:31:44,541 --> 00:31:47,250
Hey. Hey.
673
00:31:48,333 --> 00:31:49,458
What the...
674
00:31:50,458 --> 00:31:52,166
No.
675
00:31:52,166 --> 00:31:54,458
- No, no, no! This is...
- CAROL: Chris!
676
00:31:54,458 --> 00:31:56,208
- No!
- Chris!
677
00:31:56,208 --> 00:31:58,583
Hey, Carol, we've been vandalized.
Somebody trashed the whole...
678
00:31:58,583 --> 00:31:59,708
(BIRDS HONKING)
679
00:31:59,708 --> 00:32:02,250
I know we are not doing live swans.
680
00:32:02,250 --> 00:32:04,625
No.
681
00:32:04,625 --> 00:32:06,625
What the hell's all of this?
682
00:32:06,625 --> 00:32:07,750
I don't know.
683
00:32:07,750 --> 00:32:11,083
But you mean to tell me that
you will not let the kids get a dog,
684
00:32:11,083 --> 00:32:13,041
but you're gonna get swans?
685
00:32:13,041 --> 00:32:14,125
These guys need to go.
686
00:32:14,125 --> 00:32:16,416
I didn't do this.
I didn't bring these back here.
687
00:32:18,250 --> 00:32:21,416
But now that you mention it, live
animals would make a hell of a statement.
688
00:32:21,416 --> 00:32:22,625
No, no.
689
00:32:22,625 --> 00:32:25,291
I am squashing the swans, okay?
690
00:32:25,291 --> 00:32:26,958
And I do not want to be late
for regionals.
691
00:32:26,958 --> 00:32:28,833
Get these out of here.
- O-Okay, I'll get rid, I'll get rid of 'em.
692
00:32:28,833 --> 00:32:30,583
- It's in the pool. That's disgusting.
- Okay, I'm gonna...
693
00:32:30,583 --> 00:32:32,458
- I'll get rid of 'em.
- Please, please.
694
00:32:32,458 --> 00:32:35,333
Hey, hey, little swan.
695
00:32:35,333 --> 00:32:36,500
Hi.
696
00:32:36,500 --> 00:32:38,583
All right, listen, you swans,
y'all have to get up out of here.
697
00:32:38,583 --> 00:32:39,875
Let's go. Let's go.
698
00:32:39,875 --> 00:32:41,250
(GRUNTS) Come on.
699
00:32:41,250 --> 00:32:44,000
- Oh! Hey! Hey!
- (HONKING LOUDLY)
700
00:32:45,083 --> 00:32:47,083
(HONKING AND SHOUTING CONTINUE OUTSIDE)
701
00:32:52,625 --> 00:32:54,916
Don't worry about this, honey.
I can fix this.
702
00:32:54,916 --> 00:32:57,958
- Hey, Bruce. Hey, Tricky Bruce.
- BRUCE: What?
703
00:32:57,958 --> 00:32:59,625
Yeah, I know you know
what happened to my ornaments.
704
00:32:59,625 --> 00:33:00,708
Don't act like you don't know.
705
00:33:00,708 --> 00:33:01,791
Hundred percent don't know
what you're talking about.
706
00:33:01,791 --> 00:33:02,875
Don't act like you don't know
what happened.
707
00:33:02,875 --> 00:33:04,125
You know exactly what happened
to them ornaments.
708
00:33:04,125 --> 00:33:05,458
I have no idea
what you're talking about, Chris.
709
00:33:05,458 --> 00:33:06,708
And you know what just dawned on me?
710
00:33:06,708 --> 00:33:10,000
That whoever did it wasn't
working alone, Scott and Shelly.
711
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,000
- Why would we do it?
- Look, the only thing I know is
712
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,083
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- You know exactly what I'm talking about.
713
00:33:14,083 --> 00:33:16,000
And if you don't know
what I'm talking about,
714
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:18,208
maybe you should ask Scott and Shelly
what I'm talking about,
715
00:33:18,208 --> 00:33:20,083
'cause I think they might know.
716
00:33:20,083 --> 00:33:22,208
- Chris, we didn't do anything.
- (VEHICLE DOORS CLOSE)
717
00:33:22,208 --> 00:33:24,250
We didn't do anything.
Did you guys do anything?
718
00:33:24,250 --> 00:33:25,416
- No.
- I did nothing.
719
00:33:25,416 --> 00:33:28,000
- Okay.
- SCOTT: Stop looking at me like that, man.
720
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,666
- BRUCE: Oh, my God.
- Creeping me out, man.
721
00:33:30,666 --> 00:33:35,000
Yeah, you see, it's all good holiday
cheer till there's $100,000 on the line.
722
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,291
Then you see what happens
to the thin veneer of neighborly love?
723
00:33:37,291 --> 00:33:38,375
What are you gonna do, Dad?
724
00:33:38,375 --> 00:33:39,583
I'm gonna go back to that weird woman
725
00:33:39,583 --> 00:33:41,333
and see if she can hook me up
with some replacement parts.
726
00:33:41,333 --> 00:33:43,291
- Can I come?
- Don't you have school?
727
00:33:43,291 --> 00:33:45,250
It's the last day.
728
00:33:45,250 --> 00:33:49,041
We're watching Frozen
in like three different classes.
729
00:33:49,041 --> 00:33:51,458
You know, you're very, very cute,
and you're also very manipulative.
730
00:33:51,458 --> 00:33:54,083
(BOTH SCREAM)
731
00:33:54,083 --> 00:33:56,250
Hey, I don't know about this bird.
732
00:33:56,250 --> 00:33:58,083
Well, Pepper did say it was good luck.
733
00:33:58,083 --> 00:34:00,166
Not so far.
734
00:34:14,875 --> 00:34:15,916
What was that?
735
00:34:15,916 --> 00:34:18,000
- (BIRDS HONKING IN DISTANCE)
- Oh, my God.
736
00:34:20,500 --> 00:34:21,708
(EGG WHISTLES, SPLATTERS)
737
00:34:22,916 --> 00:34:24,708
(HONKING LOUDLY)
738
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:30,208
(SHRIEKS)
739
00:34:31,916 --> 00:34:33,041
(GASPS, SHOUTS)
740
00:34:35,958 --> 00:34:37,291
Oh.
741
00:34:38,708 --> 00:34:39,791
(SHOUTS)
742
00:34:47,500 --> 00:34:49,125
(ENTRY BELLS JINGLING)
743
00:34:50,291 --> 00:34:52,250
Hello?
744
00:34:55,708 --> 00:34:57,250
You in here?
745
00:35:00,791 --> 00:35:02,458
Hello?!
746
00:35:09,708 --> 00:35:11,458
- What are you doing?
- Hey! Ooh.
747
00:35:11,458 --> 00:35:12,750
You have to stop scaring me like that!
748
00:35:12,750 --> 00:35:15,583
Oh, looks like someone's been
rubbing the partridge.
749
00:35:15,583 --> 00:35:17,791
What? No.
750
00:35:17,791 --> 00:35:20,708
I know a rubbed partridge
when I see one, sir. (CHUCKLES)
751
00:35:20,708 --> 00:35:24,291
I rubbed it like
the instructions said to rub it.
752
00:35:24,291 --> 00:35:27,041
- Weird instructions, by the way.
- What was your wish? Fame?
753
00:35:27,041 --> 00:35:29,291
No, fortune.
754
00:35:29,291 --> 00:35:31,291
No, no, no, that is right.
755
00:35:31,291 --> 00:35:33,000
You want to win a contest,
756
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:36,166
because Christmas is all about winning,
isn't it, Chris?
757
00:35:36,166 --> 00:35:37,791
- Look, lady...
- Pepper.
758
00:35:37,791 --> 00:35:41,625
Uh, look, Pepper, somebody stole my
ornaments, and I need some replacements.
759
00:35:41,625 --> 00:35:43,458
Oh, I'm sorry. It's like I told you.
760
00:35:43,458 --> 00:35:45,875
Each one of those trees is unique.
761
00:35:45,875 --> 00:35:50,458
If you lost your ornaments, I'm
afraid you have to find them yourself.
762
00:35:50,458 --> 00:35:52,916
I didn't lose my ornaments.
Somebody stole 'em.
763
00:35:52,916 --> 00:35:54,625
Do you hear that song?
764
00:35:54,625 --> 00:35:56,166
- No.
- You don't hear the tune?
765
00:35:56,166 --> 00:35:57,291
I don't hear nothing.
766
00:35:57,291 --> 00:36:00,416
♪ What's a little man to do ♪
767
00:36:00,416 --> 00:36:03,708
♪ To make his little wish come true? ♪
768
00:36:03,708 --> 00:36:06,041
♪ Before the old clock tower dings ♪
769
00:36:06,041 --> 00:36:08,166
♪ You must collect the golden rings ♪
770
00:36:08,166 --> 00:36:11,833
♪ Then all will hail
the king of Christmas ♪
771
00:36:12,666 --> 00:36:17,041
♪ A strip of land is
called an isthmus. ♪
772
00:36:17,041 --> 00:36:18,916
A isthmus?
773
00:36:18,916 --> 00:36:20,583
Well, nothing else rhymes
with "Christmas."
774
00:36:20,583 --> 00:36:22,500
Yeah, um, that's weak.
775
00:36:22,500 --> 00:36:26,416
Well, the joke is on you... ha ha...
Because you're also weak.
776
00:36:27,958 --> 00:36:30,125
(SMOKE BOMB POPS, WHISTLES)
777
00:36:30,125 --> 00:36:31,791
(COUGHING)
778
00:36:33,666 --> 00:36:35,416
(ENTRY BELLS JINGLING)
779
00:36:35,416 --> 00:36:37,541
Ooh. A customer.
780
00:36:37,541 --> 00:36:39,958
Welcome to Kringle's.
We've been expecting you.
781
00:36:39,958 --> 00:36:41,083
Pepper is crazy.
782
00:36:42,500 --> 00:36:45,000
MALE VOICE (BRITISH ACCENT):
Psst. Oy. Over here.
783
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:46,833
Hello.
784
00:36:53,500 --> 00:36:55,208
Dad.
785
00:36:58,416 --> 00:37:00,791
Good morning, milady.
786
00:37:00,791 --> 00:37:03,708
Good morning, good sir.
787
00:37:04,916 --> 00:37:06,333
What the...
788
00:37:06,333 --> 00:37:09,208
- ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. ♪
- (BEATBOXING)
789
00:37:09,208 --> 00:37:11,625
Easy, guv.
Bit of an head scratcher, innit?
790
00:37:11,625 --> 00:37:13,250
But no worries.
791
00:37:13,250 --> 00:37:15,000
Pip here at your service.
792
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,166
Nice to meet you, Pip. I'm Holly.
793
00:37:17,166 --> 00:37:20,041
Hey, Holly, don't get so close
to that little, tiny man.
794
00:37:20,041 --> 00:37:21,250
But he's so cute.
795
00:37:21,250 --> 00:37:23,166
But he's not real.
796
00:37:23,166 --> 00:37:24,416
Oy.
797
00:37:24,416 --> 00:37:26,166
Are you real?
798
00:37:26,166 --> 00:37:29,583
As real as you. Least I was.
799
00:37:29,583 --> 00:37:32,833
We all were until we fell into
that elf's sick, twisted trap.
800
00:37:32,833 --> 00:37:35,000
Yeah, don't get screwed like us, man.
It ain't good.
801
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,791
PIP:
No, Christmas is wonderful once a year.
802
00:37:37,791 --> 00:37:39,625
But every day? It's a nightmare.
803
00:37:39,625 --> 00:37:43,291
I've been eating nothing
but chestnuts for ten years.
804
00:37:43,291 --> 00:37:44,583
I'm right clogged up.
805
00:37:44,583 --> 00:37:47,375
CORDELIA: The relentless good cheer,
these ridiculous outfits.
806
00:37:47,375 --> 00:37:48,500
GARY:
And it never ends.
807
00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:50,750
I light the lamp. I blow it out.
808
00:37:50,750 --> 00:37:51,875
Light it, blow it out again.
809
00:37:51,875 --> 00:37:54,791
- Light, blow, light, blow, light, blow...
- Stop it!
810
00:37:54,791 --> 00:37:56,708
I would love to, Cordelia.
811
00:37:56,708 --> 00:37:58,875
So Pepper's a real elf?
812
00:37:58,875 --> 00:38:00,750
Pepper was Santa's favorite,
813
00:38:00,750 --> 00:38:03,458
but any mistake and she'd put you
on the naughty list.
814
00:38:03,458 --> 00:38:05,291
Her standards were impossible.
815
00:38:05,291 --> 00:38:07,000
One strike and you're out.
816
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:10,166
So Santa demoted her all the way down
to the reindeer stable.
817
00:38:10,166 --> 00:38:11,500
- (GROANS)
- Ew.
818
00:38:11,500 --> 00:38:12,750
CORDELIA:
And then she just quit.
819
00:38:12,750 --> 00:38:14,458
Who quits Santa?
820
00:38:14,458 --> 00:38:18,416
Now she's made it her mission to punish
anyone who makes it onto her naughty list.
821
00:38:18,416 --> 00:38:19,958
And I got news for you, fellas.
822
00:38:19,958 --> 00:38:21,791
We're all on the naughty list.
823
00:38:21,791 --> 00:38:23,708
But the benefit is
I do have a two-inch waist.
824
00:38:23,708 --> 00:38:25,875
Guys, enough of the backstory.
Not enough time.
825
00:38:25,875 --> 00:38:27,916
There's not enough time.
She'll be back soon.
826
00:38:27,916 --> 00:38:30,541
PIP:
Quick, guv, what'd she sell you?
827
00:38:30,541 --> 00:38:33,083
She sold me some decorations,
the 12 days of Christmas.
828
00:38:33,083 --> 00:38:34,458
- ♪ 12 drummers drumming ♪
- (BEATBOXING)
829
00:38:34,458 --> 00:38:36,916
♪ 11 pipers piping,
ten lords a-leaping... ♪
830
00:38:36,916 --> 00:38:39,500
- Stop it!
- (SCREAMS) -Please!
831
00:38:39,500 --> 00:38:41,791
PIP: Did she tell you what to do,
a task of some kind?
832
00:38:41,791 --> 00:38:44,208
There's usually a very
bad rhyme involved.
833
00:38:44,208 --> 00:38:46,458
- Yeah, she...
- Yeah, it was,
834
00:38:46,458 --> 00:38:50,333
"Before the old clock tower dings,
835
00:38:50,333 --> 00:38:52,416
- you must collect the golden rings."
- "The golden rings."
836
00:38:52,416 --> 00:38:55,666
- ♪ Five gold rings. ♪
- (BEATBOXING)
837
00:38:55,666 --> 00:38:59,458
Find the five gold rings
before the clock tower dings.
838
00:38:59,458 --> 00:39:03,166
That bell only chimes
on Christmas Eve at 8:00.
839
00:39:03,166 --> 00:39:04,750
GARY:
That's in three days.
840
00:39:04,750 --> 00:39:06,208
Hurry, man, get those rings.
841
00:39:06,208 --> 00:39:07,708
It's the only way to save yourself.
842
00:39:07,708 --> 00:39:11,208
BUT BE WARNED: If you fail...
843
00:39:13,875 --> 00:39:15,166
- Yes?
- What are you doing?
844
00:39:15,166 --> 00:39:16,416
Oh! Sh... Hey.
845
00:39:16,416 --> 00:39:18,250
You got to stop doing that!
846
00:39:19,500 --> 00:39:21,125
What's going on?
847
00:39:22,291 --> 00:39:25,583
Um, we were just, uh,
admiring this craftsmanship.
848
00:39:25,583 --> 00:39:27,708
It's very lifelike.
849
00:39:27,708 --> 00:39:29,125
Hmm.
850
00:39:29,125 --> 00:39:30,833
Interesting choice of words.
851
00:39:30,833 --> 00:39:32,500
Yeah.
852
00:39:32,500 --> 00:39:34,000
(CLEARS THROAT QUIETLY)
853
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,208
- We got to find those rings, Dad.
- No.
854
00:39:36,208 --> 00:39:38,833
I bet you that was just
some hidden camera practical joke thing
855
00:39:38,833 --> 00:39:41,166
that some idiots want
to put on the Internet.
856
00:39:41,166 --> 00:39:42,416
We're not chasing any rings.
857
00:39:42,416 --> 00:39:43,916
{\an8}(BIRDS COOING)
858
00:39:43,916 --> 00:39:45,583
{\an8}Shoot.
859
00:39:49,250 --> 00:39:52,166
{\an8}Well, what are you waiting for?
860
00:39:52,166 --> 00:39:53,541
Get the ring.
861
00:39:53,541 --> 00:39:55,125
Holly, this is crazy.
862
00:39:55,125 --> 00:39:56,291
What if it's not?
863
00:39:56,291 --> 00:39:58,333
What's the worst that could happen?
864
00:39:58,333 --> 00:40:00,666
If it's not real, you've got the ring.
865
00:40:00,666 --> 00:40:02,708
But if it is, you've got the ring!
866
00:40:03,791 --> 00:40:06,208
- (BIRDS COOING)
- (SEAT BELT CLICKS)
867
00:40:16,041 --> 00:40:18,125
All right, easy there, chickens.
868
00:40:18,125 --> 00:40:19,708
Easy.
869
00:40:21,291 --> 00:40:23,541
All right, little chickens.
870
00:40:23,541 --> 00:40:25,041
Chick-chick-chick... (GRUNTS)
871
00:40:26,041 --> 00:40:27,041
Yes!
872
00:40:37,541 --> 00:40:40,541
- (BACK-UP ALARM BEEPING IN DISTANCE)
- (BELL RINGING)
873
00:40:42,208 --> 00:40:44,166
(BUZZER SOUNDS IN DISTANCE)
874
00:40:45,250 --> 00:40:48,041
(PHONE VIBRATING)
875
00:40:48,041 --> 00:40:49,458
Look at this. Look at this.
876
00:40:49,458 --> 00:40:50,916
Oh.
877
00:40:51,916 --> 00:40:54,375
CAROL:
Hey. I had the weirdest morning.
878
00:40:54,375 --> 00:40:55,958
Yeah, I bet not as weird as mine.
879
00:40:55,958 --> 00:40:59,083
No, I'm about to meet the regionals,
and there's egg on my face.
880
00:40:59,083 --> 00:41:01,250
And I mean it. Like, on my suit, too.
881
00:41:01,250 --> 00:41:03,333
Well, baby, you'll crush that.
But, hey, listen.
882
00:41:03,333 --> 00:41:06,208
This is gonna sound kind of crazy,
but about those ornaments?
883
00:41:06,208 --> 00:41:07,833
I don't think Bruce took them.
884
00:41:07,833 --> 00:41:09,541
It's some kind of test.
885
00:41:09,541 --> 00:41:11,125
I got to get all the rings
by Christmas Eve.
886
00:41:11,125 --> 00:41:12,375
It's the only way to win the contest.
887
00:41:12,375 --> 00:41:14,666
Chris, I was attacked by birds
this morning.
888
00:41:14,666 --> 00:41:16,583
What? What kind of birds?
889
00:41:16,583 --> 00:41:20,833
Listen, they were laying eggs
out of the sky.
890
00:41:20,833 --> 00:41:22,541
What kind of bird does that?
891
00:41:22,541 --> 00:41:24,541
That is no way to perpetuate a species,
892
00:41:24,541 --> 00:41:26,166
and it was, like, all over my suit,
my brand-new...
893
00:41:26,166 --> 00:41:27,625
Six geese a-laying!
894
00:41:27,625 --> 00:41:28,958
- Huh?
- Were there rings?
895
00:41:28,958 --> 00:41:32,083
Gold rings?
If you see a gold ring, grab it!
896
00:41:32,083 --> 00:41:34,458
- Oh, I got to go. I love you.
- Hey, Carol...
897
00:41:34,458 --> 00:41:35,833
I got to go. Okay.
898
00:41:35,833 --> 00:41:37,250
- Wait.
- (LINE BEEPING)
899
00:41:38,875 --> 00:41:41,041
Something's going down at Mom's work.
900
00:41:41,041 --> 00:41:43,875
Well, think there's a ring?
901
00:41:43,875 --> 00:41:45,625
Only one way to find out.
902
00:41:45,625 --> 00:41:48,208
(ENGINE REVVING)
903
00:41:48,208 --> 00:41:50,291
♪ ♪
904
00:41:54,916 --> 00:41:57,458
All right, my little French hens,
905
00:41:57,458 --> 00:42:00,125
time to wreak some havoc,
cause some chaos
906
00:42:00,125 --> 00:42:03,208
and make them suffer
as only the French can.
907
00:42:03,208 --> 00:42:04,583
Vive la résistance!
908
00:42:04,583 --> 00:42:06,666
(BIRDS CLUCKING)
909
00:42:08,958 --> 00:42:11,583
Well, what are you waiting for? Allez!
910
00:42:11,583 --> 00:42:13,833
Go, Pierre. Go, Jacques.
911
00:42:16,541 --> 00:42:19,000
By alternating packaging flow,
912
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:23,541
we avoid backups
that could lead to costly ware...
913
00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:25,166
(BIRD CLUCKS MOCKINGLY)
914
00:42:28,041 --> 00:42:30,166
...warehouse shutdowns.
915
00:42:30,166 --> 00:42:31,583
Right this way!
916
00:42:31,583 --> 00:42:33,250
You see how...
917
00:42:33,250 --> 00:42:35,250
Let's go that way.
918
00:42:35,250 --> 00:42:36,791
The sorting is unbelievable.
919
00:42:36,791 --> 00:42:38,458
Sort, sort, sort, sort.
920
00:42:38,458 --> 00:42:40,458
We'll go that way. Go ahead, go ahead.
921
00:42:44,875 --> 00:42:46,500
DONALD:
Business all the way through.
922
00:42:46,500 --> 00:42:48,375
Wait till you see what she has to say.
It's pretty incredible.
923
00:42:48,375 --> 00:42:50,333
Go ahead, Carol.
924
00:42:50,333 --> 00:42:52,708
So, packing peanuts.
925
00:42:52,708 --> 00:42:55,291
Ours are completely biodegradable.
926
00:42:55,291 --> 00:42:58,000
(BIRD CLUCKING)
927
00:43:00,208 --> 00:43:02,500
They are plant-based and s...
928
00:43:02,500 --> 00:43:03,791
(BIRD CLUCKING QUIETLY)
929
00:43:03,791 --> 00:43:05,458
...sourced and...
930
00:43:05,458 --> 00:43:08,375
- (CLUCKS)
- Oh! Chicken.
931
00:43:09,625 --> 00:43:11,750
Our packing peanuts are made of chicken?
932
00:43:11,750 --> 00:43:13,083
No.
933
00:43:13,083 --> 00:43:14,875
No, no. That would be crazy.
934
00:43:14,875 --> 00:43:16,250
(CLUCKING)
935
00:43:20,041 --> 00:43:21,791
(BIRD CLUCKING QUIETLY)
936
00:43:23,041 --> 00:43:24,500
(BIRD CLUCKING)
937
00:43:27,041 --> 00:43:28,750
(GRUNTING)
938
00:43:28,750 --> 00:43:30,791
- CAROL: (MUTTERS) I got this.
- Uh... (CHUCKLES)
939
00:43:30,791 --> 00:43:33,291
- (CAROL MUTTERING)
- (BIRD SQUAWKING)
940
00:43:34,291 --> 00:43:35,375
I got it!
941
00:43:35,375 --> 00:43:37,750
- I got it!
- (SQUAWKING WILDLY)
942
00:43:37,750 --> 00:43:39,666
Oh, my God. Okay. (GRUNTS)
943
00:43:39,666 --> 00:43:41,583
(BIRD SCREAMS)
944
00:43:41,583 --> 00:43:43,375
(CLUCKING)
945
00:43:47,333 --> 00:43:49,291
(EXHALING SHARPLY)
946
00:43:49,291 --> 00:43:51,166
- Carol?
- Yes?
947
00:43:51,166 --> 00:43:52,333
What is the problem?
948
00:43:52,333 --> 00:43:54,458
Ex... Y-Yes!
949
00:43:54,458 --> 00:43:55,791
This is a problem.
950
00:43:55,791 --> 00:43:59,166
I wanted to demonstrate what can happen.
951
00:43:59,166 --> 00:44:00,833
Bottlenecks.
952
00:44:00,833 --> 00:44:02,083
Unpredictability.
953
00:44:02,083 --> 00:44:04,166
- Chickens.
- Chickens.
954
00:44:04,166 --> 00:44:07,416
You would avoid all of that
if you came to our warehouse
955
00:44:07,416 --> 00:44:09,708
and do my protocols.
956
00:44:09,708 --> 00:44:11,291
- (CLUCKING)
- (GRUNTS)
957
00:44:14,166 --> 00:44:16,166
Yes!
958
00:44:17,166 --> 00:44:19,083
Yeah?
959
00:44:21,791 --> 00:44:23,333
Yeah.
960
00:44:25,583 --> 00:44:26,875
Come on. Thank you.
961
00:44:26,875 --> 00:44:28,500
Thank you so much.
962
00:44:28,500 --> 00:44:29,833
Thank you, seriously.
963
00:44:29,833 --> 00:44:32,833
- Get it out. Yeah. Thank you.
- Yeah. (WHOOPS)
964
00:44:32,833 --> 00:44:34,458
♪ ♪
965
00:44:43,750 --> 00:44:44,958
HOLLY:
Where are we going, Dad?
966
00:44:44,958 --> 00:44:48,208
{\an8}CHRIS: We're going around back
'cause I need some answers.
967
00:44:48,208 --> 00:44:49,625
HOLLY:
The sign says she's not there.
968
00:44:49,625 --> 00:44:51,958
CHRIS:
I'm not talking about her.
969
00:44:54,875 --> 00:44:57,083
I don't like this.
970
00:44:57,083 --> 00:44:58,708
And are we breaking in?
971
00:44:58,708 --> 00:45:00,041
No, no, not at all.
972
00:45:00,041 --> 00:45:02,916
We are paying customers, all right?
973
00:45:08,500 --> 00:45:10,458
(DOOR THUMPING, RATTLING)
974
00:45:11,791 --> 00:45:12,875
Oh.
975
00:45:12,875 --> 00:45:14,708
See, the door was wide open.
976
00:45:16,333 --> 00:45:18,333
♪ ♪
977
00:45:24,333 --> 00:45:25,750
(QUIETLY):
Go keep a look out front.
978
00:45:25,750 --> 00:45:28,208
That's the kind of thing you say
when you're breaking in.
979
00:45:28,208 --> 00:45:29,708
Just do what I said.
980
00:45:34,416 --> 00:45:35,958
Hey.
981
00:45:35,958 --> 00:45:38,041
- Wake up. Wake up.
- (LIGHTS CLICKING, VOICES MURMURING)
982
00:45:38,041 --> 00:45:39,333
Wake up, everybody.
983
00:45:39,333 --> 00:45:41,291
- Wake up, wake up.
- (YAWNING)
984
00:45:53,666 --> 00:45:55,583
Everybody.
985
00:45:55,583 --> 00:45:58,333
(YAWNS)
I usually don't get up before 10:00.
986
00:45:58,333 --> 00:45:59,583
- Okay.
- What's up, man?
987
00:45:59,583 --> 00:46:02,916
(SLEEPY MOANING)
988
00:46:03,916 --> 00:46:05,583
Wake up.
989
00:46:05,583 --> 00:46:07,500
- Oh, man.
- Okay, okay.
990
00:46:07,500 --> 00:46:09,875
- We're here.
- Okay. Okay.
991
00:46:09,875 --> 00:46:12,500
All right, Tiny Tim,
now Pepper's messing with my family.
992
00:46:12,500 --> 00:46:15,000
Oh, blimey, that's what she does, guv.
993
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:18,916
Goes after the people you love most,
turns your whole life upside down.
994
00:46:18,916 --> 00:46:20,791
Well, it's not gonna work
because I'm calling this off.
995
00:46:20,791 --> 00:46:22,000
This has to stop.
996
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:23,416
Stop?
997
00:46:23,416 --> 00:46:25,291
- You can't make it stop.
- Mm-mm.
998
00:46:25,291 --> 00:46:26,833
PIP:
You made your wish. You're in it now.
999
00:46:26,833 --> 00:46:28,333
CORDELIA: Yeah.
- GARY: Mm-hmm, that's how she gets you, man.
1000
00:46:28,333 --> 00:46:30,375
Tells you you can get a wish.
1001
00:46:30,375 --> 00:46:33,083
Only you have to complete some crazy,
stupid, impossible challenge.
1002
00:46:33,083 --> 00:46:35,541
- Well, why me?
- Why any of us?
1003
00:46:35,541 --> 00:46:36,958
Because we took the bait.
1004
00:46:36,958 --> 00:46:38,791
Anyone can make one mistake,
1005
00:46:38,791 --> 00:46:41,500
and then you're cursed
and no one can help you.
1006
00:46:41,500 --> 00:46:46,208
She's evil but needy like a cat you
bought and raised but hates your guts.
1007
00:46:46,208 --> 00:46:48,833
Well, she sent me looking for gold,
frankincense and myrrh.
1008
00:46:48,833 --> 00:46:50,333
I mean, gold was easy, obviously.
1009
00:46:50,333 --> 00:46:51,875
I have a ton of that at my house.
1010
00:46:51,875 --> 00:46:53,666
But what even is that other stuff?
1011
00:46:53,666 --> 00:46:56,041
I went to every Sephora I could find.
1012
00:46:56,041 --> 00:46:58,708
I found plenty of Fenty but no myrrh.
No myrrh!
1013
00:46:58,708 --> 00:47:01,166
And she made me dress up
as a New York City cop
1014
00:47:01,166 --> 00:47:04,208
to rescue my estranged wife
from a Japanese-owned high-rise
1015
00:47:04,208 --> 00:47:05,833
being attacked by terrorists.
1016
00:47:05,833 --> 00:47:07,166
What? Die Hard?
1017
00:47:07,166 --> 00:47:08,375
That's not even a Christmas movie.
1018
00:47:08,375 --> 00:47:10,875
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
It is the Christmas movie.
1019
00:47:10,875 --> 00:47:12,791
- I literally cannot with you.
- Well, I can with you.
1020
00:47:12,791 --> 00:47:14,625
- You won't.
- All right, then.
1021
00:47:14,625 --> 00:47:16,375
Guv, we all failed.
1022
00:47:16,375 --> 00:47:18,333
Now we're trapped in Christmas Village.
1023
00:47:18,333 --> 00:47:21,875
Just like you'll be
if you don't find those rings.
1024
00:47:21,875 --> 00:47:23,083
Like I'll be?
1025
00:47:23,083 --> 00:47:25,208
I'm not gonna get trapped
in no Christmas Village.
1026
00:47:25,208 --> 00:47:26,291
I didn't sign on for this.
1027
00:47:26,291 --> 00:47:27,875
CORDELIA:
Uh-oh. But you did.
1028
00:47:27,875 --> 00:47:30,291
You literally signed on for this.
1029
00:47:30,291 --> 00:47:32,375
Your receipt? There's, like,
a bunch of fine print at the bottom.
1030
00:47:32,375 --> 00:47:33,458
You didn't read it?
1031
00:47:33,458 --> 00:47:34,791
Nobody reads the fine print.
1032
00:47:34,791 --> 00:47:36,125
GARY:
Oh, come on, brother.
1033
00:47:36,125 --> 00:47:38,958
You got to read the fine print, man.
The terms of service are brutal.
1034
00:47:38,958 --> 00:47:40,041
I know one thing:
1035
00:47:40,041 --> 00:47:43,041
No elf is gonna shrink me down
into some freaky Christmas person.
1036
00:47:43,041 --> 00:47:44,333
Hey!
1037
00:47:44,333 --> 00:47:45,666
- Well, I am freaky.
- That's personal.
1038
00:47:45,666 --> 00:47:47,583
Sorry. Sorry.
1039
00:47:47,583 --> 00:47:49,125
'Cause I'm going after those rings.
1040
00:47:49,125 --> 00:47:51,375
- Whoa. Whoa!
- Holy Sonic the Hedgehog.
1041
00:47:51,375 --> 00:47:52,500
I'm already on my way.
1042
00:47:52,500 --> 00:47:53,750
Oh, my God, he's doing it.
1043
00:47:53,750 --> 00:47:54,958
He's really doing it!
1044
00:47:54,958 --> 00:47:56,333
That's a good sign, guv.
1045
00:47:56,333 --> 00:47:58,000
You only need three more.
1046
00:47:58,000 --> 00:47:59,250
And if he gets all five...
1047
00:47:59,250 --> 00:48:01,208
- CAROLERS: ♪ Five gold rings... ♪
- (BEATBOXING)
1048
00:48:01,208 --> 00:48:02,291
Shut up!
1049
00:48:02,291 --> 00:48:03,625
(WHIMPERING)
1050
00:48:03,625 --> 00:48:06,541
If you get all five,
you can break the curse.
1051
00:48:06,541 --> 00:48:08,625
GARY: And if he breaks
the curse for himself...
1052
00:48:08,625 --> 00:48:10,708
Maybe it breaks it for me!
1053
00:48:10,708 --> 00:48:12,666
- All of us! All of us.
- All of us, girl.
1054
00:48:12,666 --> 00:48:14,583
I don't know nothing about no curse,
1055
00:48:14,583 --> 00:48:16,458
and I don't know about no magic,
but I do know one thing,
1056
00:48:16,458 --> 00:48:18,000
that I ain't scared of no elf.
1057
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,458
- That's right, Chris. (LAUGHS)
- That's right. You tell her.
1058
00:48:20,458 --> 00:48:23,791
GARY: Yeah, too bad she not hearing you
say it right to her face. (CHUCKLES)
1059
00:48:23,791 --> 00:48:25,875
(MUFFLED OVER CAR SPEAKERS): ♪ One day
of Christmas, I got a smartphone ♪
1060
00:48:25,875 --> 00:48:28,041
♪ "Jingle All the Way"
playing on my ringtone ♪
1061
00:48:28,041 --> 00:48:31,666
♪ Second day of Christmas,
I copped two pair of kicks... ♪
1062
00:48:31,666 --> 00:48:33,875
Dad, she's coming.
1063
00:48:33,875 --> 00:48:35,958
♪ 12 days, 12 days ♪
1064
00:48:35,958 --> 00:48:37,500
♪ 12 days of Christmas ♪
1065
00:48:37,500 --> 00:48:39,708
♪ It's the 12 days, 12 days... ♪
1066
00:48:39,708 --> 00:48:41,375
- (CAR ALARM CHIRPS)
- (SONG STOPS)
1067
00:48:41,375 --> 00:48:44,583
Dad, she's right outside!
1068
00:48:44,583 --> 00:48:46,458
Okay, come on.
1069
00:48:46,458 --> 00:48:47,583
Take us with you, guv.
1070
00:48:48,875 --> 00:48:50,500
Help us, and we'll help you.
1071
00:48:55,625 --> 00:48:57,208
- Okay, come on. All right.
- Oh, thank you so much.
1072
00:48:57,208 --> 00:48:58,958
- Everybody, in. Come on.
- Thank you, Chris, is it?
1073
00:48:58,958 --> 00:49:00,166
Move it, move it, move it, move it.
1074
00:49:00,166 --> 00:49:02,208
- Come on, man. Hurry up, man.
- Is there a pub on the way?
1075
00:49:02,208 --> 00:49:03,333
All right.
1076
00:49:03,333 --> 00:49:04,791
CORDELIA:
See you never, Kringle's!
1077
00:49:04,791 --> 00:49:06,541
Oh!
1078
00:49:06,541 --> 00:49:08,333
- Ah, take that, Pepper!
- (CHRIS GRUNTS)
1079
00:49:08,333 --> 00:49:10,041
(LAUGHS) We're out of here!
1080
00:49:10,041 --> 00:49:12,125
(ENTRY BELLS JINGLING)
1081
00:49:15,625 --> 00:49:17,208
(DOOR CLOSES)
1082
00:49:17,208 --> 00:49:19,666
- (BELLS CHIMING)
- (ELECTRONICS WHIRRING)
1083
00:49:22,458 --> 00:49:23,958
Hurry, hurry, hurry.
1084
00:49:23,958 --> 00:49:25,458
Come on, come on. Be careful.
1085
00:49:25,458 --> 00:49:27,166
GARY:
Oh, my God, that's the sun, dawg.
1086
00:49:27,166 --> 00:49:29,666
CORDELIA:
Hey! I'm outside!
1087
00:49:29,666 --> 00:49:31,583
PEPPER:
No!
1088
00:49:31,583 --> 00:49:34,125
No, no, no, no, no!
1089
00:49:34,125 --> 00:49:36,541
I can't live without you!
1090
00:49:36,541 --> 00:49:38,333
I mean, I can, but who wants to try?
1091
00:49:38,333 --> 00:49:40,083
- PIP: Easy, guv.
- GARY: We all right?
1092
00:49:40,083 --> 00:49:41,208
(ALL GRUNTING)
1093
00:49:41,208 --> 00:49:42,750
Ah, right on my coccyx.
1094
00:49:42,750 --> 00:49:44,625
GARY: Ah, ow!
Sorry for putting my butt on y'all.
1095
00:49:44,625 --> 00:49:46,625
- Oh, God!
- Ow!
1096
00:49:47,625 --> 00:49:49,083
- (CLOCK CHIMING)
- CORDELIA: Good job, bonbon.
1097
00:49:49,083 --> 00:49:50,791
PIP:
Let me head up top.
1098
00:49:51,750 --> 00:49:52,875
CORDELIA:
Whatever you do, don't peel out!
1099
00:49:52,875 --> 00:49:55,250
(ALL SCREAMING, WHOOPING)
1100
00:49:55,250 --> 00:49:57,625
- GARY: This is amazing!
- (PIP LAUGHING)
1101
00:49:57,625 --> 00:49:59,375
(EXHALES SLOWLY)
1102
00:49:59,375 --> 00:50:00,541
(GROANS ANGRILY)
1103
00:50:00,541 --> 00:50:02,083
(TIRES SQUEALING)
1104
00:50:05,083 --> 00:50:07,250
So that's how you want to play?
1105
00:50:07,250 --> 00:50:08,541
Game on.
1106
00:50:08,541 --> 00:50:10,458
I'm the king of the...
1107
00:50:10,458 --> 00:50:11,541
(SHOUTS)
1108
00:50:11,541 --> 00:50:13,375
- I pulled a hammy.
- CORDELIA: Hey!
1109
00:50:13,375 --> 00:50:15,208
- (TIRES SQUEALING)
- (GARY WHOOPS)
1110
00:50:16,208 --> 00:50:18,750
Whoa-whoa-whoa! Hey! That was fun.
1111
00:50:20,541 --> 00:50:22,041
All right, just don't take
any more turns like that.
1112
00:50:22,041 --> 00:50:24,125
I don't know if I can take it!
1113
00:50:24,125 --> 00:50:26,208
(GRUNTS, GROANS)
1114
00:50:26,208 --> 00:50:28,291
♪ ♪
1115
00:50:39,791 --> 00:50:41,791
Two normal-size people
driving down the street.
1116
00:50:41,791 --> 00:50:43,583
Hello, neighbors. Hello, neighborhood.
1117
00:50:48,750 --> 00:50:52,083
GARY: Uh-uh. Is this a broker version
of where we came from?
1118
00:50:52,083 --> 00:50:53,875
CORDELIA:
I have motion sickness.
1119
00:50:53,875 --> 00:50:55,125
GARY:
Girl, don't throw up on me.
1120
00:50:55,125 --> 00:50:57,208
(PIP GROANING)
1121
00:50:58,375 --> 00:50:59,500
Ow.
1122
00:51:01,750 --> 00:51:03,458
(LAUGHS)
1123
00:51:03,458 --> 00:51:08,458
Ah, at last, free from the torment
of eternal Christma...
1124
00:51:17,750 --> 00:51:19,625
- Oh.
- Ew.
1125
00:51:19,625 --> 00:51:22,083
I'm-a burn up everything in here.
1126
00:51:23,583 --> 00:51:24,750
(GRUNTS)
1127
00:51:24,750 --> 00:51:26,708
- Oh, run! -Paper tidal wave!
- Incoming!
1128
00:51:26,708 --> 00:51:28,000
- Hop it! Hop it!
- (GRUNTING)
1129
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:30,666
- Ow, my bustle!
- Ow, my everything.
1130
00:51:30,666 --> 00:51:32,208
(WHISTLES)
1131
00:51:32,208 --> 00:51:34,833
You're quite the home decorator, Holly.
1132
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:41,625
(BELL CHIMING)
1133
00:51:41,625 --> 00:51:44,208
What is this,
some sort of butcher's chart?
1134
00:51:44,208 --> 00:51:46,875
Oh, my God, it's Operation!
1135
00:51:46,875 --> 00:51:48,583
Yo, I love Operation, dawg.
1136
00:51:48,583 --> 00:51:50,666
Oh, I am flawless. I never get shocked.
1137
00:51:50,666 --> 00:51:51,833
Watch this, y'all. (LAUGHS)
1138
00:51:51,833 --> 00:51:53,541
- (SCREAMING)
- CORDELIA: Gary!
1139
00:51:54,625 --> 00:51:55,708
- Oh, no.
- S-Sweeney Todd!
1140
00:51:55,708 --> 00:51:58,166
- Oh, my God, Gary, are you okay?
- Do I look okay?
1141
00:51:58,166 --> 00:52:01,250
- (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
- Ay. Ay. Ay. Ay.
1142
00:52:01,250 --> 00:52:03,666
- I actually think it's an improvement.
- Eh.
1143
00:52:05,791 --> 00:52:07,208
(CAROL SIGHS)
1144
00:52:09,250 --> 00:52:11,333
Hey, hold up.
1145
00:52:11,333 --> 00:52:12,833
This is important.
1146
00:52:12,833 --> 00:52:14,000
Dad, come on, seriously?
1147
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:18,291
Do you have any idea
how bad that could've been?
1148
00:52:18,291 --> 00:52:21,041
- I can explain.
- And why were there chickens?
1149
00:52:21,041 --> 00:52:22,291
Did you bring the chickens?
1150
00:52:22,291 --> 00:52:23,791
No.
1151
00:52:23,791 --> 00:52:25,208
Well, kinda, yeah.
1152
00:52:26,291 --> 00:52:29,250
Oh, my God.
1153
00:52:30,500 --> 00:52:31,541
This about the contest?
1154
00:52:31,541 --> 00:52:32,875
Are you ki...
1155
00:52:32,875 --> 00:52:35,500
Chr... Chris...
1156
00:52:35,500 --> 00:52:39,583
(WHISPERING): You are supposed to be
spending this time looking for a job.
1157
00:52:39,583 --> 00:52:41,583
Why Dad looking for another job?
1158
00:52:41,583 --> 00:52:43,458
JOY:
Did you quit?
1159
00:52:43,458 --> 00:52:44,625
You got fired?
1160
00:52:44,625 --> 00:52:46,666
No, I got laid off.
1161
00:52:46,666 --> 00:52:48,916
And I didn't want to tell you guys
because I didn't want to ruin Christmas.
1162
00:52:48,916 --> 00:52:51,000
But it's fine. It's fine.
1163
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:52,875
Seriously, fine.
1164
00:52:52,875 --> 00:52:54,333
As long as I keep my job.
1165
00:52:54,333 --> 00:52:57,208
I'm gonna show you guys something, and
when I show you what I'm gonna show you,
1166
00:52:57,208 --> 00:52:59,083
all your questions are
gonna be answered.
1167
00:52:59,083 --> 00:53:04,000
But when I show you this,
don't freak out.
1168
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:05,625
(SNICKERS)
1169
00:53:05,625 --> 00:53:07,625
- Come on. You got to see this.
- Careful. Careful, you guys.
1170
00:53:07,625 --> 00:53:09,208
- Holly, seriously?
- What are you doing?
1171
00:53:09,208 --> 00:53:11,250
What is happening?
1172
00:53:11,250 --> 00:53:13,750
- (VILLAGERS MURMURING EXCITEDLY)
- CORDELIA: Oh, my God, look at this.
1173
00:53:13,750 --> 00:53:14,958
- CAROL: What is this?
- (METALLIC TAPPING)
1174
00:53:14,958 --> 00:53:16,916
- What am I looking at?
- This is what I want you to see.
1175
00:53:16,916 --> 00:53:19,625
CAROLERS:
♪ Let nothing you dismay. ♪
1176
00:53:19,625 --> 00:53:21,666
- (WHOOPING)
- CAROL: Who's singing?
1177
00:53:21,666 --> 00:53:22,833
- CHRIS: They're singing.
- (VILLAGERS CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)
1178
00:53:22,833 --> 00:53:24,125
CAROL:
What?
1179
00:53:24,125 --> 00:53:25,833
(LAUGHTER)
1180
00:53:25,833 --> 00:53:27,791
- Oh, my God.
- (CHATTER CONTINUES)
1181
00:53:29,375 --> 00:53:32,500
(WHOOPING, LAUGHING)
1182
00:53:32,500 --> 00:53:35,041
Ooh, look at you, hot stuff,
looking like a tall drink of water.
1183
00:53:35,041 --> 00:53:36,958
- Gulp, gulp, baby.
- CAROL: Step back. Step back.
1184
00:53:36,958 --> 00:53:38,750
- Step back.
- What'd you just say about my mom?
1185
00:53:38,750 --> 00:53:40,583
Hey, I know you see
this fire between us, girl.
1186
00:53:40,583 --> 00:53:43,125
- Is he talking to me?
- Hey, watch it.
1187
00:53:43,125 --> 00:53:44,875
- That's my wife.
- For now, brother.
1188
00:53:44,875 --> 00:53:46,833
CORDELIA:
Oh, I am so sorry.
1189
00:53:46,833 --> 00:53:49,125
Hi. Um, nice to meet you.
1190
00:53:49,125 --> 00:53:50,625
I can only apologize for Gary.
1191
00:53:50,625 --> 00:53:51,916
He's the worst.
1192
00:53:51,916 --> 00:53:53,958
She feel that heat, though.
She feel that heat!
1193
00:53:53,958 --> 00:53:55,500
(GASPS) That tree is feeling the heat!
1194
00:53:55,500 --> 00:53:56,583
- God, watch it! The tree!
- Hey.
1195
00:53:56,583 --> 00:53:58,083
- CAROL: It's on fire.
- Oh!
1196
00:53:58,083 --> 00:53:59,583
See, you're burning stuff down.
1197
00:53:59,583 --> 00:54:01,458
Watch what you're doing, Gary.
1198
00:54:01,458 --> 00:54:03,416
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, it's kind of my thing, though.
1199
00:54:03,416 --> 00:54:04,500
- Woo-hoo!
- (TOY CAR HORN HONKS)
1200
00:54:04,500 --> 00:54:06,291
Check out the new whip, everybody.
1201
00:54:06,291 --> 00:54:09,250
Someone order a cab? (LAUGHS)
1202
00:54:09,250 --> 00:54:10,416
Pip!
1203
00:54:10,416 --> 00:54:12,375
Hi-ho, cheerio, Holly.
1204
00:54:12,375 --> 00:54:14,541
Okay, Chris...
1205
00:54:14,541 --> 00:54:15,916
what are these?
1206
00:54:15,916 --> 00:54:18,833
Hey, everybody, this is my wife Carol.
1207
00:54:18,833 --> 00:54:20,750
- Hello.
- ♪ Here we come a-caroling ♪
1208
00:54:20,750 --> 00:54:22,833
- ♪ Among the leaves so green. ♪
- No.
1209
00:54:22,833 --> 00:54:24,916
Nope. That is weird.
1210
00:54:24,916 --> 00:54:26,791
And-and this is my son Nick.
1211
00:54:26,791 --> 00:54:28,583
♪ Jolly old Saint Nicholas ♪
1212
00:54:28,583 --> 00:54:30,583
♪ Lean your ear this way. ♪
1213
00:54:30,583 --> 00:54:32,208
And you guys remember Holly.
1214
00:54:32,208 --> 00:54:35,166
♪ The holly and the ivy. ♪
1215
00:54:35,166 --> 00:54:36,916
And this is my oldest daughter Joy.
1216
00:54:36,916 --> 00:54:39,708
- ♪ Joy to the world. ♪
- CAROL: Wow. (CLEARS THROAT)
1217
00:54:40,791 --> 00:54:41,916
Wait.
1218
00:54:41,916 --> 00:54:43,250
Whoa.
1219
00:54:43,250 --> 00:54:45,250
We're all named after Christmas stuff?
1220
00:54:45,250 --> 00:54:47,666
- (WHISPERS): Oh, my God.
- NICK: Seriously?
1221
00:54:47,666 --> 00:54:49,541
Just now figuring this out?
1222
00:54:49,541 --> 00:54:51,208
I have to admit that was my idea.
1223
00:54:51,208 --> 00:54:53,500
- Yeah, it was all him.
- I kind of talked Mom into that.
1224
00:54:53,500 --> 00:54:55,208
Mm, he did.
Chris, can I talk to you for a second?
1225
00:54:55,208 --> 00:54:56,375
CORDELIA:
Oh, she's talking through gritted teeth.
1226
00:54:56,375 --> 00:54:57,500
- You know what that means.
- We can talk right now.
1227
00:54:57,500 --> 00:54:59,333
Think we should
do it a little privately.
1228
00:54:59,333 --> 00:55:01,041
Just kind of step away for a second.
1229
00:55:01,041 --> 00:55:02,291
PIP:
Mm, someone's in trouble.
1230
00:55:02,291 --> 00:55:05,416
No, no one's in trouble. (CLEARS THROAT)
1231
00:55:05,416 --> 00:55:08,250
What are those and why are they talking?
1232
00:55:08,250 --> 00:55:10,416
They're little Christmas people.
1233
00:55:10,416 --> 00:55:11,958
Yes, I can tell, but that's insane.
1234
00:55:11,958 --> 00:55:13,791
I mean, do you wind them up?
Is there a battery?
1235
00:55:13,791 --> 00:55:14,875
I don't got no battery,
but you can check.
1236
00:55:14,875 --> 00:55:16,000
CHRIS:
No, there's no battery.
1237
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:18,708
They're-they're little Christmas people
that have come to life.
1238
00:55:18,708 --> 00:55:21,083
- It seems scary to me.
- What's scary about it?
1239
00:55:21,083 --> 00:55:23,375
They're talking and they're little, and
that little one keeps flirting with me.
1240
00:55:23,375 --> 00:55:25,750
Hey, I'm scary at first, baby, but...
1241
00:55:25,750 --> 00:55:27,750
I'm telling you right now,
you say one more thing,
1242
00:55:27,750 --> 00:55:30,291
- I'm gonna flick you into next Christmas.
- Ooh, girl.
1243
00:55:30,291 --> 00:55:31,708
Oh, you smell good.
1244
00:55:31,708 --> 00:55:32,916
CHRIS:
You don't think this is amazing?
1245
00:55:32,916 --> 00:55:34,625
CAROL: No, it doesn't feel magical.
It feels terrifying.
1246
00:55:34,625 --> 00:55:36,625
Please don't touch that! Don't touch it.
1247
00:55:36,625 --> 00:55:38,041
CHRIS:
It's okay. They're...
1248
00:55:38,041 --> 00:55:39,166
It's safe.
1249
00:55:39,166 --> 00:55:40,583
- You know what this is?
- Mm?
1250
00:55:40,583 --> 00:55:42,375
This is Christmas magic.
1251
00:55:42,375 --> 00:55:44,750
Well, I'm magic. I don't know what Gary is.
- (LAUGHS)
1252
00:55:44,750 --> 00:55:47,125
Mostly, like, gross.
1253
00:55:48,125 --> 00:55:49,916
CHRIS: That's why I got
to find three more rings
1254
00:55:49,916 --> 00:55:53,750
before this clock chimes eight times
on Christmas Eve.
1255
00:55:53,750 --> 00:55:55,875
- Okay, so Popper...
- Pepper.
1256
00:55:55,875 --> 00:55:57,916
- Pepper. Pepper.
- It's Pepper. -It's Pepper.
1257
00:55:57,916 --> 00:56:00,875
Pepper will make your wish come true?
1258
00:56:00,875 --> 00:56:02,958
Right, then I win. I win the contest,
1259
00:56:02,958 --> 00:56:05,083
- and I get $100,000.
- Right.
1260
00:56:05,083 --> 00:56:08,333
Then this family has the best Christmas
of all the Christmases ever.
1261
00:56:08,333 --> 00:56:11,125
Except for the first one,
which was obviously a biggie.
1262
00:56:11,125 --> 00:56:12,541
That was special.
1263
00:56:12,541 --> 00:56:14,375
Wait, so that was your wish?
1264
00:56:14,375 --> 00:56:16,583
To win Candy Cane Lane?
1265
00:56:16,583 --> 00:56:17,916
Not,
like... I don't know... world peace?
1266
00:56:17,916 --> 00:56:19,875
- End hunger?
- End homelessness?
1267
00:56:19,875 --> 00:56:21,833
- NICK: Stop climate change?
- JOY: Save the polar bears?
1268
00:56:21,833 --> 00:56:23,875
- New Drake album?
- Oh. -Oh, I love Drake.
1269
00:56:23,875 --> 00:56:25,083
- Me, too.
- (CHUCKLES)
1270
00:56:25,083 --> 00:56:27,291
Okay, point taken,
but I wasn't thinking like that.
1271
00:56:27,291 --> 00:56:28,666
I was thinking about my family.
1272
00:56:28,666 --> 00:56:30,708
- Oh.
- That's why I love him.
1273
00:56:30,708 --> 00:56:32,583
But remember, if you fail...
1274
00:56:32,583 --> 00:56:33,791
(SHUSHES)
1275
00:56:33,791 --> 00:56:35,583
If you fail? What?
1276
00:56:35,583 --> 00:56:37,083
If I fail, then I don't win.
1277
00:56:37,083 --> 00:56:38,958
But we don't have to worry about that.
1278
00:56:38,958 --> 00:56:41,166
'Cause I'm gonna find those rings.
1279
00:56:41,166 --> 00:56:42,333
- That's right.
- Yeah.
1280
00:56:42,333 --> 00:56:44,125
Hopefully.
1281
00:56:44,125 --> 00:56:46,416
What you mean, "hopefully"?
Stop being negative.
1282
00:56:48,125 --> 00:56:49,375
All right.
1283
00:56:56,125 --> 00:56:57,791
Stapler.
1284
00:57:01,166 --> 00:57:02,250
Stapler!
1285
00:57:02,250 --> 00:57:04,333
Somebody better find that stapler.
1286
00:57:04,333 --> 00:57:05,958
Come on, guys, who used it last?
1287
00:57:13,625 --> 00:57:15,041
Over here, you little piper.
1288
00:57:16,791 --> 00:57:18,541
There you go.
1289
00:57:18,541 --> 00:57:20,083
You little suckers.
1290
00:57:21,083 --> 00:57:22,083
Gotcha.
1291
00:57:22,083 --> 00:57:23,625
Right there, lady.
1292
00:57:23,625 --> 00:57:25,375
There you go.
1293
00:57:25,375 --> 00:57:27,208
All right.
1294
00:57:27,208 --> 00:57:29,041
So, we got two rings.
1295
00:57:29,041 --> 00:57:30,791
The first one is from...
1296
00:57:30,791 --> 00:57:32,375
- ♪ Two turtledoves ♪
- (BEATBOXING)
1297
00:57:32,375 --> 00:57:35,625
Yep. And the second one
is from the three...
1298
00:57:35,625 --> 00:57:38,125
- ♪ Three French hens ♪
- I was gonna say it.
1299
00:57:38,125 --> 00:57:42,500
Okay. And we also met...
1300
00:57:42,500 --> 00:57:44,083
- ♪ Seven swans a-swimming ♪
- CAROL: And the six geese a...
1301
00:57:44,083 --> 00:57:45,375
♪ Six geese a-laying ♪
1302
00:57:45,375 --> 00:57:47,708
{\an8}That looks just like her.
I'm-a burn her ass up.
1303
00:57:47,708 --> 00:57:49,791
Firepit that ass.
1304
00:57:49,791 --> 00:57:51,666
- Hey, Gary. No, no, no, no.
- Yes.
1305
00:57:51,666 --> 00:57:53,583
Mm-mm. She going to hell.
1306
00:57:53,583 --> 00:57:55,500
Gary, put the fire down.
1307
00:57:55,500 --> 00:57:57,166
Aw.
1308
00:57:57,166 --> 00:57:58,583
Question.
1309
00:57:59,750 --> 00:58:02,083
So, Dad, Dad, who is this Pepper person?
1310
00:58:02,083 --> 00:58:04,375
She some old girlfriend or something?
1311
00:58:04,375 --> 00:58:06,791
'Cause I met one of those before,
and she was still mad.
1312
00:58:06,791 --> 00:58:08,000
She's not wrong.
1313
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:10,458
No, no, she's not an old girlfriend.
1314
00:58:10,458 --> 00:58:11,583
She's an elf.
1315
00:58:11,583 --> 00:58:14,291
And she fights dirty,
so we got a new house rule:
1316
00:58:14,291 --> 00:58:16,500
Nobody can leave this house
till Christmas Eve.
1317
00:58:16,500 --> 00:58:17,958
- What? -What? -Wait, what?
- Fine with me.
1318
00:58:17,958 --> 00:58:19,791
- Dad, I got band.
- You're gonna have to skip band.
1319
00:58:19,791 --> 00:58:23,125
Okay, more importantly, I have a track
meet, and a scout's gonna be there.
1320
00:58:23,125 --> 00:58:24,833
- Oh.
- Really? A scout?
1321
00:58:24,833 --> 00:58:26,375
- (STAMMERS)
- From USC?
1322
00:58:28,333 --> 00:58:29,541
Yeah.
1323
00:58:30,541 --> 00:58:31,958
Okay, we can't skip that.
1324
00:58:31,958 --> 00:58:34,000
We're gonna all go to that together.
I'll just have to keep you safe.
1325
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:35,625
Yeah,
and we're gonna do this as a family.
1326
00:58:35,625 --> 00:58:38,125
- We should split up.
- What do you mean, we should split up?
1327
00:58:38,125 --> 00:58:40,375
Have you ever watched a horror film?
1328
00:58:40,375 --> 00:58:42,958
When you split up, somebody dies.
1329
00:58:42,958 --> 00:58:44,125
That's true.
1330
00:58:44,125 --> 00:58:46,833
Yeah, a Black person always die first,
and all y'all Black.
1331
00:58:48,041 --> 00:58:51,125
CAROL: I've searched online,
and no one has heard of this Pepper.
1332
00:58:51,125 --> 00:58:53,291
I think we should wake up
tomorrow morning and call the police.
1333
00:58:53,291 --> 00:58:54,875
And tell them what?
1334
00:58:54,875 --> 00:58:57,250
And tell them the truth,
that some sadistic little elf
1335
00:58:57,250 --> 00:58:59,666
is targeting our family.
1336
00:58:59,666 --> 00:59:01,916
Yeah, I just said it out loud.
It's not gonna work.
1337
00:59:01,916 --> 00:59:04,208
I just got to find those damn rings.
1338
00:59:04,208 --> 00:59:06,916
Can you please forget the rings, Chris?
1339
00:59:06,916 --> 00:59:10,875
Seriously, just give the-the village
back and all those little tiny figurines
1340
00:59:10,875 --> 00:59:13,375
and say you're sorry
for whatever you did to piss her off,
1341
00:59:13,375 --> 00:59:14,541
and then be done with it.
1342
00:59:14,541 --> 00:59:17,083
It's just not that simple, Carol.
1343
00:59:17,083 --> 00:59:19,625
What are you not telling me?
1344
00:59:19,625 --> 00:59:21,958
There's something you're not telling me.
What are you not telling me?
1345
00:59:21,958 --> 00:59:25,416
Carol, I just can't walk away.
1346
00:59:26,750 --> 00:59:28,166
I have to.
1347
00:59:29,500 --> 00:59:30,875
Okay.
1348
00:59:30,875 --> 00:59:32,000
Okay, I hear you.
1349
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:33,250
- Okay?
- Okay, yes.
1350
00:59:33,250 --> 00:59:35,458
- All right.
- We made a promise to each other.
1351
00:59:35,458 --> 00:59:37,500
I'm glad you're saying this.
I was about to remind you.
1352
00:59:37,500 --> 00:59:39,333
- Oh, you were gonna remind me?
- Before you said it.
1353
00:59:39,333 --> 00:59:40,875
- Okay.
- Okay.
1354
00:59:40,875 --> 00:59:42,791
{\an8}- Okay?
- So... Yes, I'm gonna show up for you
1355
00:59:42,791 --> 00:59:44,458
{\an8}because we are on the same team
1356
00:59:44,458 --> 00:59:46,208
{\an8}- with each other.
- Yes, because of this, we show up.
1357
00:59:46,208 --> 00:59:48,666
- We show up for each other.
- Right, we show up for each other.
1358
00:59:48,666 --> 00:59:52,958
No matter how strange, no matter
how crazy, we show up for each other.
1359
00:59:52,958 --> 00:59:54,500
I don't think those were in the vows.
1360
00:59:54,500 --> 00:59:55,708
I'm putting that in now.
1361
00:59:55,708 --> 00:59:58,458
No matter how strange or how crazy, we support each other.
- Okay.
1362
00:59:59,541 --> 01:00:01,000
So I got your back.
1363
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:02,666
We're gonna get this done.
1364
01:00:02,666 --> 01:00:05,291
- And that's why I love you so much.
- I love you, too.
1365
01:00:05,291 --> 01:00:06,375
Mwah.
1366
01:00:06,375 --> 01:00:07,791
Give me another one.
1367
01:00:07,791 --> 01:00:10,833
Ooh, I love both of y'all right now.
How strange it 'bout to get?
1368
01:00:10,833 --> 01:00:12,958
- No! No!
- Hey.
1369
01:00:12,958 --> 01:00:15,125
- No! Chris.
- I'm-I'm-a handle him.
1370
01:00:15,125 --> 01:00:17,833
Oh, don't cup me, brother,
not on the holiday.
1371
01:00:17,833 --> 01:00:21,291
I'm gonna d-deal with our little friend,
and I'll be back in a second.
1372
01:00:21,291 --> 01:00:23,458
- (CUP RATTLING)
- (GARY GRUNTING RAPIDLY)
1373
01:00:25,666 --> 01:00:26,916
PIP:
All right, you got the letter?
1374
01:00:26,916 --> 01:00:28,916
- HOLLY: Yes.
- AUTOMATED VOICE: Disarmed.
1375
01:00:31,291 --> 01:00:32,541
PIP (WHISPERS):
Here we go.
1376
01:00:34,541 --> 01:00:36,666
You're very brave, Holly.
1377
01:00:36,666 --> 01:00:38,541
Thank you, Pip.
1378
01:00:38,541 --> 01:00:40,083
I'm quite scared myself.
1379
01:00:40,083 --> 01:00:44,291
You see, Pepper will never stop
until she finds us.
1380
01:00:44,291 --> 01:00:46,125
It's okay.
1381
01:00:46,125 --> 01:00:47,750
We can protect each other.
1382
01:00:47,750 --> 01:00:49,458
That's very kind of you, love.
1383
01:00:49,458 --> 01:00:51,250
I'm just so tiny, you see.
1384
01:00:51,250 --> 01:00:53,125
I am, too.
1385
01:00:53,125 --> 01:00:55,583
Is that the mailbox?
1386
01:00:57,083 --> 01:00:58,791
It is.
1387
01:01:00,541 --> 01:01:02,291
We got this, love.
1388
01:01:03,375 --> 01:01:04,916
Thank you, Pip.
1389
01:01:09,958 --> 01:01:12,875
(CHUCKLES):
Well, and Bob's your uncle.
1390
01:01:12,875 --> 01:01:14,791
HOLLY:
I don't have an uncle.
1391
01:01:14,791 --> 01:01:17,208
- PIP: It's an idiom, love.
- HOLLY: What's that?
1392
01:01:17,208 --> 01:01:18,458
PIP:
A figure of speech.
1393
01:01:18,458 --> 01:01:20,833
You ever hear of a writer
called Charlie Dickens?
1394
01:01:20,833 --> 01:01:22,250
- HOLLY: No.
- PIP: Oh?
1395
01:01:22,250 --> 01:01:24,041
My mother knew his mother.
1396
01:01:29,041 --> 01:01:30,625
Yoo-hoo.
1397
01:01:32,458 --> 01:01:35,750
Where are you,
my naughty little stocking stuffers?
1398
01:01:36,750 --> 01:01:37,750
Pip?
1399
01:01:37,750 --> 01:01:40,333
(QUIETLY):
Don't move. Don't even breathe.
1400
01:01:40,333 --> 01:01:41,416
Cordelia?
1401
01:01:41,416 --> 01:01:43,458
Lamp boy?
1402
01:01:44,750 --> 01:01:46,625
(GASPS) Oh.
1403
01:01:46,625 --> 01:01:49,500
My Santa. It's a slum.
1404
01:01:49,500 --> 01:01:51,166
Oh, what a downgrade.
1405
01:01:55,250 --> 01:01:57,208
Come out, my little villagers.
1406
01:01:57,208 --> 01:01:58,458
It's me.
1407
01:01:58,458 --> 01:02:00,166
Where are you?
1408
01:02:00,166 --> 01:02:01,875
Hello?
1409
01:02:02,875 --> 01:02:04,166
{\an8}- Mm.
- (WHISPERS): Please, no.
1410
01:02:04,166 --> 01:02:05,833
{\an8}I want to tell you a bedtime story.
1411
01:02:07,916 --> 01:02:09,958
{\an8}But you need to come out.
1412
01:02:09,958 --> 01:02:11,708
{\an8}Where are you?
1413
01:02:17,208 --> 01:02:19,958
(LAUGHS):
I'm starting to get angry.
1414
01:02:19,958 --> 01:02:22,375
Feels like you're hiding on purpose.
1415
01:02:22,375 --> 01:02:24,166
(GASPS)
1416
01:02:24,166 --> 01:02:25,666
Well, look at this.
1417
01:02:27,625 --> 01:02:28,958
(GASPS)
1418
01:02:30,166 --> 01:02:31,833
Is that me?
1419
01:02:31,833 --> 01:02:33,791
I'm stunning.
1420
01:02:34,875 --> 01:02:36,833
(SIGHS)
1421
01:02:36,833 --> 01:02:38,375
All right, I'm leaving.
1422
01:02:39,458 --> 01:02:40,541
Or am I?
1423
01:02:43,375 --> 01:02:45,958
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪
1424
01:02:45,958 --> 01:02:47,791
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪
1425
01:02:47,791 --> 01:02:49,500
(MUFFLED HUMMING)
1426
01:02:49,500 --> 01:02:52,458
How's that song go again?
1427
01:02:52,458 --> 01:02:54,875
Does anyone know the lyrics?
1428
01:02:54,875 --> 01:02:56,458
♪ O'er the fields we go ♪
1429
01:02:56,458 --> 01:02:57,541
(MUFFLED HUMMING)
1430
01:02:57,541 --> 01:02:59,458
♪ Laughing all the way ♪
1431
01:02:59,458 --> 01:03:00,958
- ♪ Ha ha ha! ♪
- Oh.
1432
01:03:00,958 --> 01:03:03,416
Aha!
1433
01:03:05,791 --> 01:03:07,833
You know, he can't protect you forever.
1434
01:03:07,833 --> 01:03:10,875
He'll never find the last ring.
1435
01:03:10,875 --> 01:03:16,916
For the king of Christmas to save
himself, he needs the one upon the shelf.
1436
01:03:16,916 --> 01:03:18,375
(CHUCKLES)
1437
01:03:18,375 --> 01:03:21,791
I'll be back when
the clock strikes 8:00.
1438
01:03:23,125 --> 01:03:26,333
And then you'll learn your tragic...
1439
01:03:27,791 --> 01:03:29,500
Destiny?
1440
01:03:29,500 --> 01:03:30,750
Inevitable outcome?
1441
01:03:30,750 --> 01:03:32,625
No, that's not it either.
1442
01:03:32,625 --> 01:03:34,708
♪ ♪
1443
01:03:34,708 --> 01:03:36,791
(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENTS OVER P.A.)
1444
01:03:38,916 --> 01:03:41,875
Okay, girls,
this is just a normal relay.
1445
01:03:41,875 --> 01:03:46,250
Yeah, totally normal for
a Notre Dame scout to be watching us.
1446
01:03:46,250 --> 01:03:48,625
Joy, does your dad know?
1447
01:03:48,625 --> 01:03:49,750
(CROWD CHEERING IN DISTANCE)
1448
01:03:49,750 --> 01:03:51,166
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
1449
01:03:52,250 --> 01:03:53,291
Hey, Joy!
1450
01:03:53,291 --> 01:03:54,500
CAROL:
We see you!
1451
01:03:54,500 --> 01:03:56,416
Look, just don't worry about him.
1452
01:03:56,416 --> 01:03:57,916
(CROWD CHEERING)
1453
01:03:59,166 --> 01:04:02,125
I think those are those scouts
from USC up there.
1454
01:04:02,125 --> 01:04:03,916
- Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Take a look. See, right where...
1455
01:04:03,916 --> 01:04:05,500
That's them, right?
1456
01:04:07,583 --> 01:04:09,083
Is that them?
1457
01:04:09,083 --> 01:04:11,125
- Yes?
- Yeah.
1458
01:04:11,125 --> 01:04:12,916
- Yes. It is? It is?
- The middle one, the middle one.
1459
01:04:12,916 --> 01:04:14,125
- Hey!
- Oh.
1460
01:04:16,083 --> 01:04:17,125
Yo!
1461
01:04:17,125 --> 01:04:18,666
- Fight on!
- Okay. Oh, my God.
1462
01:04:18,666 --> 01:04:19,833
Whoo!
1463
01:04:24,416 --> 01:04:25,791
(WHISPERS):
Stop. Yeah.
1464
01:04:25,791 --> 01:04:28,208
- (CHUCKLES)
- (PHONE VIBRATING, RINGTONE PLAYING)
1465
01:04:28,208 --> 01:04:30,333
I'm getting sick of this.
1466
01:04:31,416 --> 01:04:32,458
- Hello.
- SQUAWKING VOICE: Squawk.
1467
01:04:32,458 --> 01:04:34,500
Clock's ticking, naughty chicken.
1468
01:04:34,500 --> 01:04:37,125
Polly doesn't just want a cracker.
She's after all of you.
1469
01:04:37,125 --> 01:04:39,708
No Carver is safe. No Carver is safe.
1470
01:04:39,708 --> 01:04:42,125
- What is that?
- (SQUAWKING LAUGHTER)
1471
01:04:42,125 --> 01:04:44,833
Some prank call, like I don't have enough problems.
- (LINE BEEPS)
1472
01:04:44,833 --> 01:04:46,916
(LAUGHS) Sounds like a parrot.
1473
01:04:48,375 --> 01:04:49,666
That's it.
1474
01:04:50,833 --> 01:04:52,958
- The birds. -What?
- NICK: Birds?
1475
01:04:52,958 --> 01:04:54,166
The calling birds.
1476
01:04:56,375 --> 01:04:59,125
- She's messing with us.
- Okay.
1477
01:04:59,125 --> 01:05:01,083
- What do we do?
- Look, hey.
1478
01:05:01,083 --> 01:05:03,000
Take these binoculars,
look around the crowd.
1479
01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:05,125
- You spot anything, say something.
- On it.
1480
01:05:05,125 --> 01:05:07,416
- You think she's here?
- She could be. She could be anywhere.
1481
01:05:09,208 --> 01:05:10,500
Oh. Hey.
1482
01:05:10,500 --> 01:05:12,416
Hey, look at that.
Nick, that's your math teacher.
1483
01:05:12,416 --> 01:05:15,416
- No, it's not.
- Mr. Benedetto. Hey. Hi.
1484
01:05:15,416 --> 01:05:17,791
Oh, my God, sweetheart. Hey.
1485
01:05:17,791 --> 01:05:19,416
He's probably excited 'cause you're
doing so well in math, sweetheart.
1486
01:05:19,416 --> 01:05:21,000
- Yeah, I'm doing, I'm doing good in music.
- Yeah? Uh-huh.
1487
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:22,708
He's coming to say congratulations.
1488
01:05:22,708 --> 01:05:24,291
Hey! Hi there.
1489
01:05:24,291 --> 01:05:26,750
- I see you. Hi.
- Okay. Okay.
1490
01:05:26,750 --> 01:05:28,750
- I'll be right there.
- Hey.
1491
01:05:28,750 --> 01:05:30,500
Where's Nick?
1492
01:05:32,583 --> 01:05:33,708
(DOOR CREAKS)
1493
01:05:50,916 --> 01:05:52,041
(FEEDBACK HUMS)
1494
01:05:52,041 --> 01:05:54,416
(HIGH HAT PLAYING RHYTHMICALLY)
1495
01:05:55,750 --> 01:05:57,916
(HIP-HOP BEAT PLAYING)
1496
01:06:03,875 --> 01:06:05,875
(UPBEAT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
1497
01:06:17,458 --> 01:06:18,541
(EXHALES HEAVILY)
1498
01:06:23,916 --> 01:06:26,333
(MUSIC DISTORTS)
1499
01:06:30,458 --> 01:06:33,166
(NO AUDIO)
1500
01:06:35,583 --> 01:06:37,875
♪ ♪
1501
01:06:39,041 --> 01:06:41,458
- There she goes. There she goes.
- Come on, Joy!
1502
01:06:41,458 --> 01:06:43,208
- Come on. Come on, babe.
- Come on, Joy!
1503
01:06:53,166 --> 01:06:55,625
(TUBA PLAYING TO MUSIC)
1504
01:07:08,750 --> 01:07:10,958
(ELECTRIC PIANO PLAYING TO MUSIC)
1505
01:07:13,666 --> 01:07:14,750
- Oh. -Got a minute.
- Come on, Joy!
1506
01:07:14,750 --> 01:07:16,708
- I need to talk to you about Nick.
- Smoke 'em, Joy!
1507
01:07:16,708 --> 01:07:18,208
Yeah, you want to praise my boy.
1508
01:07:18,208 --> 01:07:19,458
- Run, girl, run!
- Come on, come on.
1509
01:07:19,458 --> 01:07:21,833
- Whoo!
- Praise your boy for failing my class?
1510
01:07:21,833 --> 01:07:23,208
- Failing. He's not failing.
- Come on, now!
1511
01:07:23,208 --> 01:07:25,208
If he was failing, I would know he was failing.
- Fight on!
1512
01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:29,458
- Is he failing?
- Whoo!
1513
01:07:29,458 --> 01:07:32,333
- Oh, yeah. Exponentially.
- CHRIS: Who's failing? What?
1514
01:07:32,333 --> 01:07:34,416
(XYLOPHONE PLAYING TO MUSIC)
1515
01:07:41,250 --> 01:07:42,625
I don't know where Nick is.
1516
01:07:42,625 --> 01:07:45,250
Uh, there you go. Need I say more?
1517
01:07:45,250 --> 01:07:46,416
No, you should not.
1518
01:07:46,416 --> 01:07:48,041
Sports.
1519
01:07:48,041 --> 01:07:50,250
A topic I know nothing about.
1520
01:07:50,250 --> 01:07:51,791
But I did my research last night,
1521
01:07:51,791 --> 01:07:55,666
and I looked up some of
the greatest sports icons of all time.
1522
01:07:55,666 --> 01:07:58,041
The likes of...
1523
01:07:58,041 --> 01:07:59,916
Wade Gretzky...
1524
01:08:01,166 --> 01:08:03,458
...and Tiger Wools.
1525
01:08:04,541 --> 01:08:07,583
And of course the classic trio of.
1526
01:08:07,583 --> 01:08:10,541
Le, Bron and James.
1527
01:08:10,541 --> 01:08:12,625
And the greatest of all time...
1528
01:08:13,875 --> 01:08:15,958
...Michael B. Jordan.
1529
01:08:15,958 --> 01:08:19,000
And do you know what they would say
if they were here right now?
1530
01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:21,041
They would say this is not a game.
1531
01:08:21,041 --> 01:08:23,708
We're not running in circles out here.
1532
01:08:23,708 --> 01:08:25,125
We're not passing the baton.
1533
01:08:25,125 --> 01:08:30,208
Life is about taking the baton
and shoving it right up
1534
01:08:30,208 --> 01:08:32,666
the competition's chimney!
1535
01:08:35,250 --> 01:08:37,041
That was your cue. Go, go, go!
1536
01:08:37,041 --> 01:08:38,541
- Run!
- (EXCITED SHOUTING)
1537
01:08:38,541 --> 01:08:40,625
(UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES)
1538
01:08:52,125 --> 01:08:53,625
(COW MOOING)
1539
01:08:57,916 --> 01:08:59,541
(MUSIC FADES)
1540
01:09:02,416 --> 01:09:03,791
Ring.
1541
01:09:03,791 --> 01:09:05,666
Milkmaid?
1542
01:09:05,666 --> 01:09:07,125
Hi.
1543
01:09:10,625 --> 01:09:12,166
Got milk?
1544
01:09:12,166 --> 01:09:13,750
(SCREAMING)
1545
01:09:14,833 --> 01:09:16,000
- (PANTING)
- (COW MOOING)
1546
01:09:17,125 --> 01:09:18,208
(GRUNTS)
1547
01:09:23,958 --> 01:09:25,875
- (CROWD GROANS)
- Hey! -Oh!
1548
01:09:25,875 --> 01:09:27,541
Go.
1549
01:09:27,541 --> 01:09:30,166
(CROWD MURMURING)
1550
01:09:30,166 --> 01:09:32,541
What the hell are you doing?
1551
01:09:37,500 --> 01:09:38,916
(GRUNTS)
1552
01:09:38,916 --> 01:09:41,291
You've got no drip.
1553
01:09:45,541 --> 01:09:47,541
You have got to be kidding me.
1554
01:09:47,541 --> 01:09:49,041
I'm coming, Joy! I got you!
1555
01:09:51,791 --> 01:09:53,666
Hey, this doesn't count!
1556
01:09:53,666 --> 01:09:54,750
Hey, man, what...
1557
01:09:58,833 --> 01:10:00,750
♪ ♪
1558
01:10:06,291 --> 01:10:07,458
(LORDS SHOUTING)
1559
01:10:11,041 --> 01:10:12,708
All right, now, I ain't no punk.
1560
01:10:12,708 --> 01:10:15,125
- What?
- (CROWD MURMURING)
1561
01:10:15,125 --> 01:10:17,458
Hey! Why y'all messing with me?
1562
01:10:17,458 --> 01:10:19,333
Y'all should be working
for Cirque du Soleil.
1563
01:10:20,791 --> 01:10:22,291
- CAROL: Run, Joy!
- BENEDETTO: I don't know if
1564
01:10:22,291 --> 01:10:23,875
- you understand how important math is.
- Run!
1565
01:10:23,875 --> 01:10:24,958
HOLLY:
...nine, ten.
1566
01:10:24,958 --> 01:10:26,291
Mom, ten lords a-leaping.
1567
01:10:31,208 --> 01:10:33,750
Joy. What are you doing?
1568
01:10:41,041 --> 01:10:42,750
Why y'all dressed like Prince?
1569
01:10:42,750 --> 01:10:45,375
Hey, Chris, the ring!
1570
01:10:45,375 --> 01:10:46,541
You got to stop him!
1571
01:10:46,541 --> 01:10:48,583
BENEDETTO: Math is at the heart
of everything. It's vitally important.
1572
01:10:48,583 --> 01:10:49,875
- Nick...
- Listen to me, Friar Tuck.
1573
01:10:49,875 --> 01:10:52,125
- (STAMMERS)
- I need you to shut it!
1574
01:10:52,125 --> 01:10:54,166
Stand by.
1575
01:10:54,166 --> 01:10:56,250
♪ ♪
1576
01:11:09,833 --> 01:11:11,666
(PANTING)
1577
01:11:11,666 --> 01:11:14,541
Ha! Yes! Yes!
1578
01:11:16,333 --> 01:11:18,375
What were you saying?
1579
01:11:19,458 --> 01:11:21,208
I... I... Oh.
1580
01:11:21,208 --> 01:11:23,291
(DOORS CREAKING)
1581
01:11:31,333 --> 01:11:32,708
(COW MOOING)
1582
01:11:34,166 --> 01:11:35,541
- (GASPS)
- (MOOS)
1583
01:11:35,541 --> 01:11:37,583
♪ ♪
1584
01:12:06,458 --> 01:12:08,750
(CROWD MURMURING)
1585
01:12:13,083 --> 01:12:14,666
That's right!
1586
01:12:14,666 --> 01:12:17,666
I was about to start whipping
everybody's ass up in here!
1587
01:12:17,666 --> 01:12:19,458
Y'all got off easy this time!
1588
01:12:20,791 --> 01:12:23,375
- Joy, that was amazing. That was amazing.
- Thanks, Dad.
1589
01:12:23,375 --> 01:12:25,083
You got it. You got the ring.
1590
01:12:25,083 --> 01:12:26,416
- Are sure you're okay?
- Yeah, I'm good, Mom.
1591
01:12:26,416 --> 01:12:27,541
- You're okay. All right.
- Thank you.
1592
01:12:27,541 --> 01:12:29,250
CHRIS:
Hey, oh, there's that scout.
1593
01:12:29,250 --> 01:12:31,041
- Where? Oh. -Wait, Dad, don't.
- (SHUSHES)
1594
01:12:31,041 --> 01:12:33,375
CHRIS:
Hey, how about that? Did you see that?
1595
01:12:33,375 --> 01:12:35,791
Did you see what she did out there?
Wasn't she amazing?
1596
01:12:35,791 --> 01:12:37,041
Look, listen.
1597
01:12:37,041 --> 01:12:39,666
It's not my policy
to talk to parents, okay?
1598
01:12:39,666 --> 01:12:41,583
Or an athlete at these events.
1599
01:12:41,583 --> 01:12:43,708
I'm just here to observe. That's it.
1600
01:12:43,708 --> 01:12:45,583
Well, consider yourself lucky.
You got a chance to observe her.
1601
01:12:45,583 --> 01:12:46,958
But did you see what she did?
1602
01:12:46,958 --> 01:12:48,375
I did. I did.
1603
01:12:48,375 --> 01:12:51,791
I counted, uh,
20 violations and infractions.
1604
01:12:51,791 --> 01:12:53,666
Well, I-I promise,
1605
01:12:53,666 --> 01:12:55,000
- I don't usually run like this.
- Yeah.
1606
01:12:55,000 --> 01:12:59,583
Look, if she could run that fast with all
those obstacles and hurdles coming at her,
1607
01:12:59,583 --> 01:13:02,083
imagine how good she'll do
in a USC uniform.
1608
01:13:02,083 --> 01:13:03,666
SCOUT:
I hope so. I do.
1609
01:13:03,666 --> 01:13:05,625
'Cause she's not running for us.
1610
01:13:05,625 --> 01:13:06,750
- Oh.
- Notre Dame?
1611
01:13:06,750 --> 01:13:08,875
Nobody want to go to Notre Dame.
1612
01:13:08,875 --> 01:13:10,375
(LAUGHS)
1613
01:13:10,375 --> 01:13:12,000
Well, she's definitely not.
1614
01:13:16,875 --> 01:13:18,375
What's going on?
1615
01:13:18,375 --> 01:13:21,041
Holy cow! Holy...
1616
01:13:21,041 --> 01:13:23,666
(FOOTSTEPS SQUISHING)
1617
01:13:24,750 --> 01:13:26,416
I don't want to talk about it.
1618
01:13:27,708 --> 01:13:30,958
So you lied about
how you're doing in math?
1619
01:13:30,958 --> 01:13:33,125
It wasn't a lie. It was a spin.
1620
01:13:33,125 --> 01:13:35,625
Yeah, now, how far you expect to
get in life with an attitude like that?
1621
01:13:35,625 --> 01:13:36,916
I don't know.
1622
01:13:36,916 --> 01:13:39,416
I'm thinking president.
1623
01:13:40,583 --> 01:13:42,833
Something big. Big things.
1624
01:13:42,833 --> 01:13:45,208
- This boy. I can't.
- Look.
1625
01:13:45,208 --> 01:13:47,250
Only reason I didn't tell you
I was a loser in math
1626
01:13:47,250 --> 01:13:48,958
is 'cause I know
how you feel about losers.
1627
01:13:54,833 --> 01:13:58,791
And, Dad, just as a reminder,
I can speak for myself.
1628
01:13:58,791 --> 01:14:01,625
Excuse me. Don't you even
try to make this about me.
1629
01:14:01,625 --> 01:14:03,291
Okay? USC scout.
1630
01:14:03,291 --> 01:14:05,375
That guy was from Notre Dame,
and you knew it.
1631
01:14:05,375 --> 01:14:06,708
Yes.
1632
01:14:06,708 --> 01:14:08,166
Okay? I don't want to go to USC, okay?
1633
01:14:08,166 --> 01:14:10,541
I-I don't want to come home
for dinner every night.
1634
01:14:10,541 --> 01:14:12,500
I want my own life, away from you.
1635
01:14:12,500 --> 01:14:13,666
CAROL:
Hey.
1636
01:14:13,666 --> 01:14:18,083
There is nothing wrong with that, but
you need to be honest with your parents.
1637
01:14:18,083 --> 01:14:21,333
Do you two even know
how hard that I work
1638
01:14:21,333 --> 01:14:23,708
so that you can have the best
of everything, the best in life,
1639
01:14:23,708 --> 01:14:26,000
the best Christmas?
1640
01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:27,541
Everything that I do, I do for you.
1641
01:14:27,541 --> 01:14:29,875
Oh, no, no,
no. You do this for yourself.
1642
01:14:29,875 --> 01:14:32,500
All this Christmas stuff,
this isn't for us.
1643
01:14:34,291 --> 01:14:35,833
Not anymore.
1644
01:14:35,833 --> 01:14:37,500
It's all for you.
1645
01:14:37,500 --> 01:14:39,166
You... yeah, y-you say
that you want our help,
1646
01:14:39,166 --> 01:14:41,708
but you really just want to do it yourself
and then have us stand here and go,
1647
01:14:41,708 --> 01:14:45,291
"Wow, isn't Dad so amazing?
He's number one!"
1648
01:14:46,625 --> 01:14:47,916
- CAROL: Hey.
- (JOY SCOFFS)
1649
01:14:47,916 --> 01:14:51,291
Okay, that's not helping anything.
1650
01:14:51,291 --> 01:14:52,416
Hey.
1651
01:14:54,541 --> 01:14:56,166
(WHISPERS):
We. We do the work.
1652
01:14:56,166 --> 01:14:57,708
- I know we do the work.
- Okay, okay.
1653
01:14:57,708 --> 01:15:00,208
Okay, but, you know, not right now.
1654
01:15:07,083 --> 01:15:11,416
CHRIS: Look, everything you said
out there was true. All right?
1655
01:15:11,416 --> 01:15:15,375
I want to apologize for a lot of things.
1656
01:15:15,375 --> 01:15:19,208
And I haven't told you the whole truth.
1657
01:15:19,208 --> 01:15:20,708
If I find all the rings, I win.
1658
01:15:20,708 --> 01:15:21,916
Yeah?
1659
01:15:21,916 --> 01:15:23,583
But if I don't...
1660
01:15:28,500 --> 01:15:29,958
...then I get turned into one of them.
1661
01:15:29,958 --> 01:15:32,166
- What?
- Dad, what?
1662
01:15:32,166 --> 01:15:34,125
Oh, my God, Christopher.
1663
01:15:34,125 --> 01:15:35,333
Gary, you already knew that.
1664
01:15:35,333 --> 01:15:37,583
I know. It's still a big reveal.
Girl, I'm in the moment.
1665
01:15:37,583 --> 01:15:39,291
- No.
- Dad!
1666
01:15:39,291 --> 01:15:41,375
(HOLLY SOBBING SOFTLY)
1667
01:15:43,791 --> 01:15:45,125
Hey. What do you mean?
1668
01:15:45,125 --> 01:15:47,000
You're gonna be one of
those little guys? Forever?
1669
01:15:47,000 --> 01:15:48,625
- Forever.
- Why didn't you tell me?
1670
01:15:48,625 --> 01:15:51,166
'Cause I thought that I could,
you know, fix this by myself.
1671
01:15:51,166 --> 01:15:53,458
By yourself?
1672
01:15:53,458 --> 01:15:54,583
Oh, my God, Chris.
1673
01:15:54,583 --> 01:15:56,500
(WHIMPERING):
Now they gonna turn me into a little...
1674
01:15:56,500 --> 01:15:58,416
- Don't cry.
- I'm gonna be all tiny.
1675
01:15:58,416 --> 01:16:00,500
I would break you.
1676
01:16:00,500 --> 01:16:02,458
(WHIMPERING)
1677
01:16:06,666 --> 01:16:09,666
You're not gonna let her take my dad,
are you, Pip?
1678
01:16:09,666 --> 01:16:12,500
Not if I can help it, love.
1679
01:16:12,500 --> 01:16:14,666
Oh, little bonbon.
1680
01:16:14,666 --> 01:16:17,041
I'm not crying. My eyes just sweat
when I see something adorable.
1681
01:16:17,041 --> 01:16:18,125
You know what I mean?
1682
01:16:18,125 --> 01:16:19,958
CAROL:
No, sweetheart.
1683
01:16:19,958 --> 01:16:21,958
No. Get up. Get up.
1684
01:16:21,958 --> 01:16:23,666
We are not gonna let her turn your dad
1685
01:16:23,666 --> 01:16:26,958
into one of those weird,
old-timey Happy Meal toys.
1686
01:16:26,958 --> 01:16:28,666
Not like... No offense. I'm sorry.
1687
01:16:28,666 --> 01:16:30,916
- None taken.
- A little taken.
1688
01:16:30,916 --> 01:16:32,916
Mom is right.
1689
01:16:32,916 --> 01:16:34,541
We're in this together.
1690
01:16:34,541 --> 01:16:35,708
We're the Carvers.
1691
01:16:35,708 --> 01:16:37,000
Yeah.
1692
01:16:37,000 --> 01:16:39,083
You know what? We are a family.
1693
01:16:39,083 --> 01:16:43,416
We will do this together
because we are the Carvers.
1694
01:16:43,416 --> 01:16:45,166
- We're the Carvers!
- Yeah!
1695
01:16:45,166 --> 01:16:47,791
(STAMMERS)
Technically, you guys are not Carvers.
1696
01:16:47,791 --> 01:16:49,583
{\an8}PIP:
Honorary members.
1697
01:16:49,583 --> 01:16:51,000
{\an8}On a temporary basis.
1698
01:16:51,000 --> 01:16:53,708
Temporary honorary Carvers!
1699
01:16:53,708 --> 01:16:54,791
Seriously?
1700
01:16:54,791 --> 01:16:58,375
Hey, these tree creatures
have to have the ring.
1701
01:16:58,375 --> 01:17:00,875
Mm, don't be so sure, guv.
1702
01:17:00,875 --> 01:17:03,083
Pepper's not to be trusted.
1703
01:17:03,083 --> 01:17:06,708
In fact, she was here last night
looking for us.
1704
01:17:06,708 --> 01:17:07,875
Wait, she was in my house?
1705
01:17:07,875 --> 01:17:10,708
And she said
you'd never find the last ring.
1706
01:17:10,708 --> 01:17:13,708
- CORDELIA: There's always some trick.
- GARY: That's how she gets you.
1707
01:17:13,708 --> 01:17:16,666
Right when the clock strikes 8:00
and you think you're about to win...
1708
01:17:16,666 --> 01:17:17,750
You lose.
1709
01:17:17,750 --> 01:17:19,875
But she also said something about,
1710
01:17:19,875 --> 01:17:22,458
"Don't forget the nice gift maker."
1711
01:17:22,458 --> 01:17:23,750
CORDELIA:
Oh, yeah, and,
1712
01:17:23,750 --> 01:17:26,250
"For the king of Christmas
to save himself,
1713
01:17:26,250 --> 01:17:28,458
he needs the one up on the shelf."
1714
01:17:29,541 --> 01:17:30,708
"Up on the shelf"?
1715
01:17:30,708 --> 01:17:32,291
What does, what does that mean?
What does that mean?
1716
01:17:32,291 --> 01:17:35,125
What? Seriously, you guys?
1717
01:17:35,125 --> 01:17:36,250
Elf on the Shelf.
1718
01:17:36,250 --> 01:17:37,666
- Duh. -Oh.
- Oh, elf. Yes.
1719
01:17:37,666 --> 01:17:38,750
NICK:
Ah, that's it.
1720
01:17:38,750 --> 01:17:41,125
Elves make gifts. Pepper's the elf.
1721
01:17:41,125 --> 01:17:43,916
- Pepper has the last ring.
- Pepper has the last ring.
1722
01:17:45,291 --> 01:17:46,333
(EXCLAIMING)
1723
01:17:46,333 --> 01:17:47,750
- (CHUCKLES)
- Huh?
1724
01:17:47,750 --> 01:17:49,000
Do you see this?
1725
01:17:49,000 --> 01:17:51,083
How nice is it to have some help
from your family?
1726
01:17:51,083 --> 01:17:53,666
Yeah, it's good to have
some help from your family.
1727
01:17:53,666 --> 01:17:57,083
Right? And what you need is an
operational manager, and that's all me.
1728
01:17:57,083 --> 01:17:58,208
(CAROL LAUGHS)
1729
01:17:58,208 --> 01:18:00,791
Follow your mother.
I have ideas. Let's go.
1730
01:18:00,791 --> 01:18:02,333
- Come on, you heard your mother. Let's go!
- Yeah!
1731
01:18:04,083 --> 01:18:05,416
- What is she doing?
- (SHUSHES)
1732
01:18:05,416 --> 01:18:06,666
She's in the zone.
1733
01:18:09,500 --> 01:18:11,750
Okay. Okay.
1734
01:18:11,750 --> 01:18:13,458
Okay!
1735
01:18:13,458 --> 01:18:15,916
Listen up!
Here's how it's gonna go down tonight.
1736
01:18:15,916 --> 01:18:19,541
Village people, I want you right here,
front and center.
1737
01:18:19,541 --> 01:18:21,375
To do what?
1738
01:18:21,375 --> 01:18:23,375
You're the bait.
1739
01:18:23,375 --> 01:18:25,000
I liked when Chris was in charge.
1740
01:18:25,000 --> 01:18:27,500
I mean, he wasn't effective,
but I felt safer.
1741
01:18:27,500 --> 01:18:28,625
No one asked you.
1742
01:18:28,625 --> 01:18:31,125
Yeah, for once, I agree with Gary.
1743
01:18:31,125 --> 01:18:33,875
Do you guys want to catch an elf or not?
1744
01:18:33,875 --> 01:18:35,250
(RINGTONE PLAYING)
1745
01:18:35,250 --> 01:18:36,625
ALL:
Don't answer it!
1746
01:18:38,875 --> 01:18:40,458
Hey, listen here, you stupid birds.
1747
01:18:40,458 --> 01:18:41,833
Let me tell you something right now.
1748
01:18:41,833 --> 01:18:44,083
We are all coming for you 'cause
you messed with the wrong family.
1749
01:18:44,083 --> 01:18:46,166
- That's right.
- So you better not ever...
1750
01:18:46,166 --> 01:18:47,916
BENEDETTO:
Nick, this is Mr. Benedetto.
1751
01:18:47,916 --> 01:18:49,541
- What the heck is going...
- (LINE BEEPS)
1752
01:18:49,541 --> 01:18:50,916
- That's the wrong number.
- CAROL: Oh.
1753
01:18:50,916 --> 01:18:52,166
Oh.
1754
01:18:52,166 --> 01:18:53,625
CAROL:
Okay, listen up, guys.
1755
01:18:53,625 --> 01:18:57,541
We are gonna need a pulley, plywood
1756
01:18:57,541 --> 01:18:59,500
and string lights,
lots and lots of string lights.
1757
01:18:59,500 --> 01:19:01,625
Now you're speaking my love language.
1758
01:19:02,708 --> 01:19:06,583
Hey, babe, do you think you can make
a lasso out of string lights?
1759
01:19:10,041 --> 01:19:11,458
That's my man.
1760
01:19:11,458 --> 01:19:13,791
("TAKEOVER" BY VOLI CONTRA PLAYING)
1761
01:19:18,083 --> 01:19:21,291
♪ I'm dripping with the spirit,
I been on a wave ♪
1762
01:19:21,291 --> 01:19:24,416
♪ 'Tis the season,
we gon' ride or die today ♪
1763
01:19:24,416 --> 01:19:28,000
♪ You better stay home, happy holiday ♪
1764
01:19:28,000 --> 01:19:30,541
♪ If you want smoke,
we blow your squad away... ♪
1765
01:19:30,541 --> 01:19:32,208
(MUSIC DISTORTS, STOPS)
1766
01:19:33,375 --> 01:19:36,833
Merry Christmas Eve, everybody,
and welcome to our special live coverage
1767
01:19:36,833 --> 01:19:39,500
of the El Segundo
Candy Cane Lane Spectacular.
1768
01:19:39,500 --> 01:19:42,666
- Extravaganza Bonanza.
- (APPLAUSE)
1769
01:19:44,083 --> 01:19:47,333
(OVER SPEAKERS): Now, all week long, our
sponsors have been judging the houses,
1770
01:19:47,333 --> 01:19:51,500
and one of these lucky families will be
declared the winner of Candy Cane Lane.
1771
01:19:51,500 --> 01:19:54,833
And receive a check for $100,000.
1772
01:19:54,833 --> 01:19:57,375
- (CROWD MURMURING, LAUGHING)
- Right?
1773
01:19:57,375 --> 01:19:58,958
Whoo!
1774
01:19:58,958 --> 01:20:01,583
Um... (CLEARS THROAT) it's not a check.
1775
01:20:01,583 --> 01:20:04,333
It's, uh, prizes that equal $100,000.
1776
01:20:04,333 --> 01:20:05,750
Was that not clear?
1777
01:20:05,750 --> 01:20:08,333
- No, that was absolutely not clear.
- (CROWD GROANING)
1778
01:20:08,333 --> 01:20:09,958
What kind of prizes?
1779
01:20:09,958 --> 01:20:11,375
KIT:
You know, just see for yourself.
1780
01:20:11,375 --> 01:20:13,625
Can you run the prizes, please?
1781
01:20:13,625 --> 01:20:18,625
Oh, and of course,
gift certificates to Tony's Tacos.
1782
01:20:18,625 --> 01:20:21,833
Live every day like it's Taco Tuesday.
1783
01:20:21,833 --> 01:20:22,916
- Tacos?
- (CROWD MURMURING)
1784
01:20:22,916 --> 01:20:25,708
$100,000 in Tony Tacos?
1785
01:20:25,708 --> 01:20:27,416
It's not cash? It's tacos?
1786
01:20:27,416 --> 01:20:29,458
Dad, Dad, just stay focused.
1787
01:20:29,458 --> 01:20:32,375
They are gonna turn you into
a tiny action figure.
1788
01:20:32,375 --> 01:20:33,750
Stay focused on the plan.
1789
01:20:36,000 --> 01:20:37,333
Tacos are stupid.
1790
01:20:37,333 --> 01:20:40,416
A hundred grand in tacos?
Oh, God, that's unbelievable.
1791
01:20:40,416 --> 01:20:42,208
You know what else
is unbelievable, Emerson?
1792
01:20:42,208 --> 01:20:43,750
I don't know,
that I haven't fired my agent?
1793
01:20:43,750 --> 01:20:48,000
The magic and music the good folks
of El Segundo have in store for us.
1794
01:20:48,000 --> 01:20:50,000
Take it away!
1795
01:20:50,000 --> 01:20:52,083
- (LIGHT APPLAUSE)
- (GENTLE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
1796
01:20:58,291 --> 01:21:01,541
♪ Said the night wind ♪
1797
01:21:01,541 --> 01:21:05,625
♪ To the little lamb ♪
1798
01:21:05,625 --> 01:21:11,166
♪ "Do you see what I see?
Do you see what I see? ♪
1799
01:21:11,166 --> 01:21:14,041
♪ Way up in the sky, little lamb..." ♪
1800
01:21:14,041 --> 01:21:16,833
PEPPER:
And she shoots.
1801
01:21:16,833 --> 01:21:18,875
And she scores! Touchdown!
1802
01:21:18,875 --> 01:21:22,125
♪ "Do you see what I see? ♪
1803
01:21:22,125 --> 01:21:24,333
♪ A star, a star..." ♪
1804
01:21:24,333 --> 01:21:26,750
Do you see what I see?!
1805
01:21:26,750 --> 01:21:28,166
Is-is that the thing?
1806
01:21:28,166 --> 01:21:32,708
♪ "Tail as big as a kite ♪
1807
01:21:32,708 --> 01:21:34,791
♪ With a tail as big..." ♪
1808
01:21:34,791 --> 01:21:36,208
(GASPS)
1809
01:21:36,208 --> 01:21:38,583
A peppermint.
1810
01:21:40,875 --> 01:21:42,000
- There she is.
- (GASPS)
1811
01:21:42,000 --> 01:21:43,666
Okay, go, go, go. Go, go.
1812
01:21:45,416 --> 01:21:46,958
(GASPS) A peppermint.
1813
01:21:47,958 --> 01:21:49,250
(GASPS)
1814
01:21:49,250 --> 01:21:51,083
There she is.
1815
01:21:51,083 --> 01:21:52,500
Joy killer.
1816
01:21:52,500 --> 01:21:53,666
Pip.
1817
01:21:53,666 --> 01:21:55,916
("ZAT YOU, SANTA CLAUS" BY LOUIS ARMSTRONG
AND THE COMMANDERS PLAYING OVER SPEAKER)
1818
01:21:55,916 --> 01:21:57,583
Hello, old friend.
1819
01:21:57,583 --> 01:22:00,416
Hello, Santa's little devil.
1820
01:22:01,416 --> 01:22:02,875
(PANTING)
1821
01:22:02,875 --> 01:22:04,416
Going for a spin?
1822
01:22:04,416 --> 01:22:07,041
(SONG SPEEDS UP)
1823
01:22:07,041 --> 01:22:08,208
See if you can catch me.
1824
01:22:08,208 --> 01:22:10,000
(PANTING)
1825
01:22:10,000 --> 01:22:12,083
- (GRUNTING)
- (MUG SHATTERS)
1826
01:22:14,041 --> 01:22:15,083
(PANTING)
1827
01:22:16,041 --> 01:22:18,583
Oy! Now!
1828
01:22:21,958 --> 01:22:24,291
(SCREAMS)
1829
01:22:24,291 --> 01:22:25,583
Gotcha!
1830
01:22:25,583 --> 01:22:27,708
- (GASPS)
- Messed with the wrong family!
1831
01:22:27,708 --> 01:22:29,708
Seriously?
1832
01:22:29,708 --> 01:22:31,916
This is the Oompa Loompa that has been
causing all the trouble? What...
1833
01:22:31,916 --> 01:22:33,083
Oh, no.
1834
01:22:33,083 --> 01:22:35,666
I walked right into your trap.
1835
01:22:35,666 --> 01:22:37,041
Or did you walk right into mine?
1836
01:22:37,041 --> 01:22:38,583
What are you talking about?
1837
01:22:38,583 --> 01:22:41,208
Santa's been giving too many nice passes
to all the naughties.
1838
01:22:41,208 --> 01:22:43,833
I'm here to put a little coal
in your stocking.
1839
01:22:43,833 --> 01:22:45,625
(PEPPER LAUGHING)
1840
01:22:45,625 --> 01:22:48,416
- You got some real anger issues.
- Just a little.
1841
01:22:49,208 --> 01:22:50,625
(GASPS)
1842
01:22:50,625 --> 01:22:51,875
Well, I got the last ring.
1843
01:22:51,875 --> 01:22:53,041
- Winner!
- Yeah!
1844
01:22:53,041 --> 01:22:55,625
- (LAUGHTER)
- CHRIS: I win!
1845
01:22:55,625 --> 01:22:58,666
I win, win, win!
1846
01:22:58,666 --> 01:23:00,208
Did you?
1847
01:23:00,208 --> 01:23:02,791
All right, I get it.
I got a lot to learn about Christmas.
1848
01:23:02,791 --> 01:23:05,416
It's not about what you have
on the outside of your house.
1849
01:23:05,416 --> 01:23:07,458
It's about who you have inside with you.
1850
01:23:07,458 --> 01:23:08,541
Yeah.
1851
01:23:08,541 --> 01:23:10,333
And nothing compares to that.
1852
01:23:10,333 --> 01:23:15,166
Oh, my God, if you do not stop
humansplaining Christmas to me.
1853
01:23:15,166 --> 01:23:16,625
- (EXPLOSIVE WHOOSHING)
- (CROWD GASPING)
1854
01:23:16,625 --> 01:23:18,458
(CAR ALARMS WAILING)
1855
01:23:18,458 --> 01:23:20,208
What is that?
1856
01:23:20,208 --> 01:23:22,291
(EXPLOSIVE WHOOSHING)
1857
01:23:23,833 --> 01:23:25,833
(BELLS JINGLING)
1858
01:23:35,750 --> 01:23:37,625
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa.
It's coming in hot.
1859
01:23:37,625 --> 01:23:38,875
(CROWD MURMURING)
1860
01:23:42,333 --> 01:23:43,916
Dad, what is that?
1861
01:23:45,208 --> 01:23:46,708
(SLEIGH SCREECHES)
1862
01:23:48,125 --> 01:23:49,208
Peppermint!
1863
01:23:49,208 --> 01:23:50,625
Oh, crap.
1864
01:23:50,625 --> 01:23:52,166
Is that who I think it is?
1865
01:23:52,166 --> 01:23:53,541
(PEPPER SCREAMS, GRUNTS)
1866
01:23:53,541 --> 01:23:55,541
Uncle Santa! What's up?!
1867
01:23:55,541 --> 01:23:56,750
(CROWD CHEERING)
1868
01:23:56,750 --> 01:23:59,041
I knew Santa was Black, man!
1869
01:23:59,041 --> 01:24:01,791
Oh, my gosh, Black Santa! (LAUGHS)
1870
01:24:01,791 --> 01:24:03,750
I only see Santa.
1871
01:24:03,750 --> 01:24:05,000
What color is that nutcracker?
1872
01:24:05,000 --> 01:24:07,000
It's white.
1873
01:24:08,541 --> 01:24:10,625
(CROWD CHEERING, MURMURING)
1874
01:24:11,958 --> 01:24:13,416
Santa, we love you!
1875
01:24:13,416 --> 01:24:14,500
(LAUGHING)
1876
01:24:14,500 --> 01:24:16,500
- That's Santa Claus.
- It's Santa! Hi, Santa!
1877
01:24:21,208 --> 01:24:22,500
HOLLY:
I knew it!
1878
01:24:23,875 --> 01:24:25,166
- SANTA: Peppermint!
- Oh.
1879
01:24:26,583 --> 01:24:28,375
Peppermint?
1880
01:24:29,708 --> 01:24:32,916
SANTA:
Peppermint, you working my last nerve.
1881
01:24:32,916 --> 01:24:34,208
Oh.
1882
01:24:34,208 --> 01:24:36,291
(LAUGHS):
Hey, you.
1883
01:24:36,291 --> 01:24:37,458
Fudge me.
1884
01:24:37,458 --> 01:24:39,791
You look great.
1885
01:24:39,791 --> 01:24:42,208
What's your secret? Less cookies?
1886
01:24:42,208 --> 01:24:44,291
Peppermint, what have you done?
1887
01:24:44,291 --> 01:24:46,666
Well, I know how busy you get
this time of year,
1888
01:24:46,666 --> 01:24:50,416
so I thought I'd just teach a few people
the true meaning of Christmas.
1889
01:24:50,416 --> 01:24:52,375
SANTA: The person that needs
to learn a thing or two
1890
01:24:52,375 --> 01:24:54,875
- is you!
- What?
1891
01:24:54,875 --> 01:24:57,791
Wow. Santa.
1892
01:24:57,791 --> 01:25:00,083
- It's Santa, right?
- Uh, hello, Christopher.
1893
01:25:00,083 --> 01:25:01,166
Yes, it's me.
1894
01:25:01,166 --> 01:25:02,875
He knows your name.
1895
01:25:02,875 --> 01:25:04,958
I'm... I'm really sorry about all this.
1896
01:25:04,958 --> 01:25:06,500
CHRIS:
No problem.
1897
01:25:06,500 --> 01:25:08,041
Wow, you're actually really here.
1898
01:25:08,041 --> 01:25:10,916
Hey, listen, Santa, um, I'm good, right?
1899
01:25:10,916 --> 01:25:13,416
'Cause I got all the five gold rings.
1900
01:25:13,416 --> 01:25:14,958
Ah-ah-ah.
1901
01:25:14,958 --> 01:25:17,250
- I never said five.
- Yes, you did.
1902
01:25:17,250 --> 01:25:22,375
"Before the old clock tower goes ding,
you must collect the golden rings."
1903
01:25:22,375 --> 01:25:24,708
- There are five golden rings.
- Uh-huh.
1904
01:25:24,708 --> 01:25:26,541
Are there?
1905
01:25:27,541 --> 01:25:29,250
(BIRDS SQUAWKING)
1906
01:25:36,500 --> 01:25:38,666
Twelve.
1907
01:25:38,666 --> 01:25:40,333
Dad, there's 12 partridges.
1908
01:25:40,333 --> 01:25:43,458
Why? Why are there 12?
1909
01:25:43,458 --> 01:25:45,250
Oh, no.
1910
01:25:45,250 --> 01:25:48,250
- What?
- That song "The Twelve Days of Christmas,"
1911
01:25:48,250 --> 01:25:49,458
it repeats.
1912
01:25:49,458 --> 01:25:52,000
She always changes the rules.
That's her trick.
1913
01:25:52,000 --> 01:25:54,083
That's why no one ever wins.
1914
01:25:54,083 --> 01:25:56,708
Is this a... some sort of pet entrance?
1915
01:25:56,708 --> 01:26:00,583
You sing it over and over again, and
every time you do, you add another one.
1916
01:26:00,583 --> 01:26:01,875
Oh. (GASPS)
1917
01:26:04,041 --> 01:26:05,500
12 partridges!
1918
01:26:05,500 --> 01:26:07,583
Why... why are we doing math right now?
1919
01:26:08,666 --> 01:26:10,000
(CRUNCHING)
1920
01:26:10,000 --> 01:26:12,083
(TICKING)
1921
01:26:14,166 --> 01:26:15,458
And two turtledoves.
1922
01:26:15,458 --> 01:26:17,250
And then it repeats that verse.
1923
01:26:17,250 --> 01:26:18,583
11 times.
1924
01:26:20,125 --> 01:26:21,875
So... so that means there's...
1925
01:26:21,875 --> 01:26:24,125
22 turtledoves!
1926
01:26:24,125 --> 01:26:25,750
So it's not really five golden rings.
1927
01:26:25,750 --> 01:26:27,541
It's 40.
1928
01:26:27,541 --> 01:26:29,166
Forty.
1929
01:26:29,166 --> 01:26:30,833
Oh, my God.
1930
01:26:30,833 --> 01:26:32,250
He's right. How is Nick right?
1931
01:26:32,250 --> 01:26:35,500
I don't know. It's... it's music.
1932
01:26:35,500 --> 01:26:36,625
But it's math.
1933
01:26:37,833 --> 01:26:39,416
I'm doing math.
1934
01:26:39,416 --> 01:26:41,000
Is this what y'all call calculus?
1935
01:26:41,000 --> 01:26:43,333
What? It's multiplication, you idiot.
1936
01:26:43,333 --> 01:26:45,500
But you're right, for once.
1937
01:26:45,500 --> 01:26:47,000
Wait a minute.
1938
01:26:47,000 --> 01:26:49,083
40 rings?
1939
01:26:49,083 --> 01:26:50,583
(PEPPER LAUGHING)
1940
01:26:50,583 --> 01:26:53,208
I got you so good. All of you were like,
"Five? Let's find the five."
1941
01:26:53,208 --> 01:26:55,375
(LAUGHING):
It was 40.
1942
01:26:55,375 --> 01:26:56,500
- SANTA: Peppermint.
- Mm.
1943
01:26:56,500 --> 01:26:57,958
Enough is enough.
1944
01:26:57,958 --> 01:27:00,166
No. No, no, no, no, no. No, no.
1945
01:27:00,166 --> 01:27:02,291
He made a deal.
He signed it and everything. Look.
1946
01:27:02,291 --> 01:27:04,375
(WIND WHISTLING)
1947
01:27:07,500 --> 01:27:08,791
See?
1948
01:27:08,791 --> 01:27:09,875
Signed it right there.
1949
01:27:09,875 --> 01:27:13,041
And there's nothing you can say or do
because it's a deal.
1950
01:27:13,041 --> 01:27:14,125
A deal is a deal!
1951
01:27:14,125 --> 01:27:16,416
Well, there's a lot of fine print here.
1952
01:27:16,416 --> 01:27:19,250
You can't expect someone
to read all of this.
1953
01:27:19,250 --> 01:27:21,791
Oh, dear.
1954
01:27:21,791 --> 01:27:23,166
I'm afraid she's got you.
1955
01:27:24,333 --> 01:27:26,166
Oh, my God.
1956
01:27:26,166 --> 01:27:28,125
CHRIS: Hey, wait a second, now. Wait a second, now.
- (CHUCKLES)
1957
01:27:28,125 --> 01:27:30,750
You're Santa Claus,
so you should be able
1958
01:27:30,750 --> 01:27:32,333
- to veto this or something.
- Yeah.
1959
01:27:32,333 --> 01:27:34,333
Christopher, you signed the receipt.
1960
01:27:34,333 --> 01:27:35,708
That's your name.
1961
01:27:35,708 --> 01:27:38,208
Only you can break the curse.
1962
01:27:38,208 --> 01:27:39,291
(GASPS)
1963
01:27:39,291 --> 01:27:42,083
♪ Do you hear what I hear? ♪
1964
01:27:42,083 --> 01:27:44,250
(BAGPIPES AND DRUMS PLAYING MARCH MUSIC)
1965
01:27:52,333 --> 01:27:53,875
(CROWD CHEERING)
1966
01:27:53,875 --> 01:27:56,208
Wh-Wh-Where y'all come from?
1967
01:27:56,208 --> 01:27:58,208
(CROWD GASPING, MURMURING)
1968
01:27:58,208 --> 01:28:00,333
- Whoa.
- Everybody, back up.
1969
01:28:02,041 --> 01:28:04,208
Ticktock, ticktock.
1970
01:28:04,208 --> 01:28:05,333
Almost eight o'clock.
1971
01:28:06,416 --> 01:28:08,708
Seriously, you want us
to try to get 40 rings now?
1972
01:28:08,708 --> 01:28:10,958
Oh, no, no, no. I expect you to fail.
1973
01:28:10,958 --> 01:28:13,583
Peppermint, I'm warning you, if...
1974
01:28:13,583 --> 01:28:15,750
No, I'm warning you, old man.
1975
01:28:15,750 --> 01:28:16,875
You've gone soft.
1976
01:28:16,875 --> 01:28:18,833
Well, all that's about to change
1977
01:28:18,833 --> 01:28:21,750
because Peppermint is coming to town!
1978
01:28:23,000 --> 01:28:24,458
- CHRIS: Oh!
- Son of a Blitzen!
1979
01:28:24,458 --> 01:28:27,500
Fly, my pretties! Fly!
1980
01:28:27,500 --> 01:28:28,708
(DOOR RATTLING)
1981
01:28:29,791 --> 01:28:32,666
(BIRDS SQUAWKING, HONKING,
CLUCKING WILDLY)
1982
01:28:38,625 --> 01:28:40,083
She just kick Santa Claus?
1983
01:28:40,083 --> 01:28:41,333
- That's what I saw.
- (BIRDS SQUAWKING)
1984
01:28:41,333 --> 01:28:42,541
- Whoa!
- Oh, my God! Oh!
1985
01:28:42,541 --> 01:28:44,500
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
1986
01:28:51,958 --> 01:28:53,875
Ooh, that hurt.
1987
01:28:53,875 --> 01:28:56,500
- Hey, we need more rings.
- Oh, quick, how many do we have?
1988
01:28:56,500 --> 01:28:57,958
- Five.
- Five?
1989
01:28:57,958 --> 01:28:59,750
- Okay, we got five rings.
- That leaves 35.
1990
01:28:59,750 --> 01:29:01,083
Yeah.
1991
01:29:01,083 --> 01:29:03,125
I'm like a math genius, y'all.
1992
01:29:03,125 --> 01:29:04,208
No, sweetie.
1993
01:29:04,208 --> 01:29:05,750
Okay, everybody has to get
as many rings as they can.
1994
01:29:05,750 --> 01:29:08,041
- Yes, okay, split up.
- You said not to split up.
1995
01:29:08,041 --> 01:29:09,750
That only happens in horror movies.
1996
01:29:09,750 --> 01:29:10,958
What do you think this is? Come on.
1997
01:29:10,958 --> 01:29:12,250
Hey, Santa Claus, you all right?
1998
01:29:12,250 --> 01:29:14,208
Are all your elves like this?
1999
01:29:14,208 --> 01:29:17,208
I'm telling you, this generation.
2000
01:29:17,208 --> 01:29:18,791
Brother.
2001
01:29:18,791 --> 01:29:20,583
(SQUAWKING, HONKING)
2002
01:29:20,583 --> 01:29:22,208
Where these birds come from?
2003
01:29:22,208 --> 01:29:24,250
(CROWD CLAMORING, SCREAMING)
2004
01:29:30,750 --> 01:29:31,875
(GROANS)
2005
01:29:31,875 --> 01:29:34,625
(LAUGHS):
Oh, he got you.
2006
01:29:34,625 --> 01:29:35,791
(SHOUTS)
2007
01:29:35,791 --> 01:29:38,541
He got you. (GROANS)
2008
01:29:38,541 --> 01:29:40,416
(WAILING)
2009
01:29:42,083 --> 01:29:45,791
Hey, Santa, are you sure
there isn't anything else you can do?
2010
01:29:56,708 --> 01:29:58,333
(WOOD CREAKING)
2011
01:30:00,125 --> 01:30:02,125
(HONKING)
2012
01:30:06,166 --> 01:30:08,083
- Yes!
- Hell no!
2013
01:30:08,083 --> 01:30:10,000
- (LAUGHS)
- Santa Claus!
2014
01:30:10,000 --> 01:30:12,083
Well,
maybe you come by the shop sometime.
2015
01:30:12,083 --> 01:30:13,375
Introduce you to the elves.
2016
01:30:13,375 --> 01:30:16,208
We got Cupcake, Twinkle, Dinky...
2017
01:30:16,208 --> 01:30:18,083
Okay, okay, let's hurry this up.
2018
01:30:18,083 --> 01:30:20,958
We got Winky, Dinky, Binky...
2019
01:30:20,958 --> 01:30:22,125
and Stinky.
2020
01:30:22,125 --> 01:30:23,958
He not allowed inside.
2021
01:30:23,958 --> 01:30:26,125
If you looking for scrambled eggs,
I'm telling you,
2022
01:30:26,125 --> 01:30:28,750
it's going down on Candy Cane Lane.
2023
01:30:28,750 --> 01:30:30,208
I could've stayed in the hood for this.
2024
01:30:30,208 --> 01:30:32,291
- (SQUAWKING)
- (SCREAMING)
2025
01:30:32,291 --> 01:30:33,875
(GRUNTING)
2026
01:30:33,875 --> 01:30:35,875
(IMITATES SQUAWKING)
2027
01:30:35,875 --> 01:30:37,375
(SQUAWKS)
2028
01:30:44,375 --> 01:30:46,500
- (SOBBING): Thanks, neighbor.
- (LAUGHING): Oh. All right. Hey.
2029
01:30:46,500 --> 01:30:48,625
All right. All right, Bruce.
2030
01:30:48,625 --> 01:30:50,166
Thank you. (LAUGHS)
2031
01:30:50,166 --> 01:30:53,541
My window is rolling up so slow.
2032
01:30:53,541 --> 01:30:55,041
I can't do this.
2033
01:30:55,041 --> 01:30:56,166
(SHOUTS)
2034
01:30:56,166 --> 01:30:58,250
(SQUAWKING, HONKING)
2035
01:31:02,458 --> 01:31:04,541
Hey! Hey!
2036
01:31:07,208 --> 01:31:09,041
Wow.
2037
01:31:10,333 --> 01:31:11,583
You're fast.
2038
01:31:11,583 --> 01:31:13,708
Yeah, it's kind of my thing.
2039
01:31:13,708 --> 01:31:15,583
Mine, too. We should talk.
2040
01:31:19,125 --> 01:31:21,125
(CROWD CLAMORING, SCREAMING)
2041
01:31:34,083 --> 01:31:35,625
♪ ♪
2042
01:31:42,833 --> 01:31:45,041
(TICKING)
2043
01:31:50,625 --> 01:31:51,666
(PEPPER CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
2044
01:31:52,666 --> 01:31:53,750
(QUIETLY):
Oh, my God.
2045
01:31:53,750 --> 01:31:55,750
Oy, that's dirty pool.
2046
01:31:55,750 --> 01:31:57,875
Pepper know what time it is,
but Chris won't.
2047
01:31:57,875 --> 01:31:59,708
- Okay.
- What we gonna do, just sit here?
2048
01:31:59,708 --> 01:32:02,916
Actually, guys,
I think it's time for me to drive.
2049
01:32:02,916 --> 01:32:04,875
(CLOCK CLICKS, CHIMES LOUDLY)
2050
01:32:04,875 --> 01:32:06,750
(CROWD CLAMORING)
2051
01:32:09,875 --> 01:32:11,125
No.
2052
01:32:11,125 --> 01:32:13,875
What? It's not time yet.
We still have five minutes.
2053
01:32:13,875 --> 01:32:16,083
(CLOCK CHIMES)
2054
01:32:18,666 --> 01:32:19,791
Carol!
2055
01:32:20,791 --> 01:32:22,875
Where's that ring? Excuse me.
2056
01:32:22,875 --> 01:32:24,458
I'm-I'm sorry.
2057
01:32:24,458 --> 01:32:25,916
(CLOCK CHIMES)
2058
01:32:25,916 --> 01:32:27,041
There it is.
2059
01:32:30,416 --> 01:32:32,416
What are y'all doing?
2060
01:32:36,875 --> 01:32:38,041
(PEOPLE GASPING)
2061
01:32:39,125 --> 01:32:40,750
Yo, who are these guys?
2062
01:32:40,750 --> 01:32:42,250
Yo, we got to get those rings.
2063
01:32:42,250 --> 01:32:44,708
- Rings? What rings?
- There's a ring on that drum.
2064
01:32:44,708 --> 01:32:46,750
Oh, this the battle of the bands?
Dude, let's go.
2065
01:32:46,750 --> 01:32:47,875
(CLOCK CHIMES)
2066
01:32:47,875 --> 01:32:50,291
Yo, everybody, bring them in closer.
2067
01:32:50,291 --> 01:32:51,916
Then I can grab the rings.
2068
01:32:53,458 --> 01:32:54,916
Carol!
2069
01:32:54,916 --> 01:32:57,250
(CLOCK CHIMES)
2070
01:32:59,625 --> 01:33:01,250
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
2071
01:33:01,250 --> 01:33:03,333
(BAND PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC)
2072
01:33:09,083 --> 01:33:11,125
Go ahead, Nick.
2073
01:33:13,208 --> 01:33:15,583
(CLOCK CHIMES)
2074
01:33:20,583 --> 01:33:21,791
What in the world?
2075
01:33:21,791 --> 01:33:23,666
Oh, no!
2076
01:33:23,666 --> 01:33:24,791
Breaking news!
2077
01:33:24,791 --> 01:33:29,041
Brother man who house couldn't light up
the first try, he just shrunk.
2078
01:33:29,041 --> 01:33:31,166
She got me.
2079
01:33:34,833 --> 01:33:37,041
Hey, I still have time.
2080
01:33:38,375 --> 01:33:39,916
(GASPS)
2081
01:33:41,208 --> 01:33:43,625
Coming through! Watch your step, y'all!
2082
01:33:48,166 --> 01:33:50,791
I don't know what just happened.
I ain't never seen no...
2083
01:33:50,791 --> 01:33:52,041
Where did he go?
2084
01:33:52,041 --> 01:33:53,708
Let 'em get closer. Let 'em get closer.
2085
01:33:55,000 --> 01:33:56,833
Drum line, single file.
2086
01:33:56,833 --> 01:33:59,000
(UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES)
2087
01:34:01,333 --> 01:34:04,291
Hey, this is all we can do, Nick.
Got to do it now!
2088
01:34:04,291 --> 01:34:05,375
There they go.
2089
01:34:14,583 --> 01:34:15,583
NICK:
Gotcha.
2090
01:34:19,958 --> 01:34:22,041
(CROWD CHEERING)
2091
01:34:22,041 --> 01:34:23,125
What?
2092
01:34:24,708 --> 01:34:26,166
Yeah.
2093
01:34:26,166 --> 01:34:27,541
I got 'em.
2094
01:34:29,625 --> 01:34:31,541
- Carol, down here!
- CAROL: Chris?
2095
01:34:33,208 --> 01:34:35,166
Carol!
2096
01:34:35,166 --> 01:34:36,416
Whoa!
2097
01:34:36,416 --> 01:34:37,583
- (BIRD GROWLS)
- (GASPS)
2098
01:34:37,583 --> 01:34:38,875
(ROARS)
2099
01:34:38,875 --> 01:34:40,750
Hey!
2100
01:34:42,000 --> 01:34:44,000
Whoa, this chicken is trippin'!
2101
01:34:45,500 --> 01:34:47,583
Beautiful and fast, coming through!
2102
01:34:47,583 --> 01:34:50,208
I'm the cabbie!
I should be the one driving!
2103
01:34:50,208 --> 01:34:51,291
(YELLS)
2104
01:34:51,291 --> 01:34:53,250
Now I know what Barbie feels like!
2105
01:34:53,250 --> 01:34:54,791
Let's punch it!
2106
01:34:54,791 --> 01:34:57,083
PIP:
You're not even using the turn signal!
2107
01:34:57,083 --> 01:34:59,000
Look, it's Chris!
2108
01:34:59,000 --> 01:35:00,625
Hey! Cordelia!
2109
01:35:00,625 --> 01:35:02,208
Oh, gee, we're too late.
2110
01:35:02,208 --> 01:35:04,125
- Get in! Get in!
- Chris, jump in!
2111
01:35:04,125 --> 01:35:05,416
Hey!
2112
01:35:05,416 --> 01:35:07,250
Oh, my God, I'm never
going to Popeyes again!
2113
01:35:07,250 --> 01:35:08,666
PIP:
Get in, guv!
2114
01:35:08,666 --> 01:35:10,250
(SHRIEKS)
2115
01:35:10,250 --> 01:35:12,000
- Oh, you got to be yolkin' kidding me!
- (SHOUTING)
2116
01:35:12,000 --> 01:35:13,750
- PIP: Punch it!
- CORDELIA: Let's go!
2117
01:35:13,750 --> 01:35:15,666
- (SHOUTS)
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
2118
01:35:15,666 --> 01:35:18,375
What happened to me? It's not 8:00 yet.
2119
01:35:18,375 --> 01:35:19,833
Pepper moved the hands on the clock.
2120
01:35:19,833 --> 01:35:23,375
I told you, she always cheats to win!
2121
01:35:23,375 --> 01:35:26,208
But I still have time.
We got to get the rest of those rings.
2122
01:35:26,208 --> 01:35:28,750
Ay, we all just gonna sit here and
act like his ass ain't already glass?
2123
01:35:28,750 --> 01:35:29,875
We just gonna do that?
2124
01:35:29,875 --> 01:35:31,000
(SQUAWKING)
2125
01:35:31,000 --> 01:35:32,750
♪ ♪
2126
01:35:36,708 --> 01:35:38,041
There's one.
2127
01:35:38,041 --> 01:35:40,875
Hard to port! Put your weight on it!
2128
01:35:40,875 --> 01:35:42,875
- Catch it, bro!
- Oy! Huzzah!
2129
01:35:42,875 --> 01:35:45,000
That's what I'm talking about.
Nice one, Pip!
2130
01:35:45,000 --> 01:35:46,833
That ain't nothing. Watch this.
2131
01:35:46,833 --> 01:35:48,875
Call this a Tootsie Roll.
2132
01:35:48,875 --> 01:35:51,333
A-one, a-two, a-three. (LAUGHS)
2133
01:35:51,333 --> 01:35:53,500
I got all the rings
from Cordelia's three marriages.
2134
01:35:53,500 --> 01:35:55,458
Those were annulled and you know it!
2135
01:35:57,125 --> 01:35:59,375
Oh, bombs away! Look out!
2136
01:35:59,375 --> 01:36:01,000
(ALL YELLING)
2137
01:36:02,000 --> 01:36:04,541
Got it! I got it! I got it!
2138
01:36:05,541 --> 01:36:07,041
(ENGINE REVVING)
2139
01:36:08,125 --> 01:36:09,458
We can't get traction, y'all!
2140
01:36:09,458 --> 01:36:11,041
- We got to go!
- (BIRD CLUCKING)
2141
01:36:11,041 --> 01:36:12,208
(SQUAWKS)
2142
01:36:13,208 --> 01:36:15,000
(SQUAWKS)
2143
01:36:15,000 --> 01:36:17,958
♪ ♪
2144
01:36:17,958 --> 01:36:19,375
- (ROARS)
- CHRIS: Come on, come on,
2145
01:36:19,375 --> 01:36:21,083
come on!
2146
01:36:21,083 --> 01:36:22,875
Uh, that's not our only problem.
2147
01:36:22,875 --> 01:36:24,000
Give me that thing.
2148
01:36:24,000 --> 01:36:25,666
Hey,
don't just touch another man's stick.
2149
01:36:25,666 --> 01:36:27,208
(ROARS)
2150
01:36:27,208 --> 01:36:29,208
- I got this.
- Oh, I think I got it.
2151
01:36:29,208 --> 01:36:31,166
- (ENGINE REVVING)
- Here we go!
2152
01:36:31,166 --> 01:36:32,375
Whoa!
2153
01:36:32,375 --> 01:36:34,166
Stick that chicken!
2154
01:36:34,166 --> 01:36:35,541
- Okay.
- (VIBRATING GRUNTS)
2155
01:36:35,541 --> 01:36:37,916
This better work!
2156
01:36:37,916 --> 01:36:39,291
PIP:
Come on, Chris!
2157
01:36:40,250 --> 01:36:42,083
GARY:
Okay, impressive.
2158
01:36:42,083 --> 01:36:43,416
Yes!
2159
01:36:43,416 --> 01:36:45,625
CHRIS:
Got the ring! Let's go!
2160
01:36:45,625 --> 01:36:48,791
PIP:
Yes! Everything is going great!
2161
01:36:50,916 --> 01:36:52,750
End of the road, sugarplums.
2162
01:36:52,750 --> 01:36:55,458
God! Why are you always finding us?
2163
01:36:55,458 --> 01:36:57,916
Oh, look at the oppressor
with the foot on our necks.
2164
01:36:57,916 --> 01:36:59,541
You signed a contract.
2165
01:36:59,541 --> 01:37:00,916
That's not fair.
2166
01:37:00,916 --> 01:37:02,375
Oh, it's just business.
2167
01:37:02,375 --> 01:37:03,708
Dad, no!
2168
01:37:03,708 --> 01:37:04,833
You're a villain.
2169
01:37:04,833 --> 01:37:06,250
- Hey.
- Ow.
2170
01:37:06,250 --> 01:37:08,375
Oh, my God.
2171
01:37:08,375 --> 01:37:09,750
Easy now, guv.
2172
01:37:09,750 --> 01:37:12,041
Hold on. One minute.
2173
01:37:13,041 --> 01:37:15,250
Chris? Oh, my God.
2174
01:37:15,250 --> 01:37:16,958
- Oh, blimey.
- (SIGHS)
2175
01:37:16,958 --> 01:37:19,250
I had no idea
that this would actually happen.
2176
01:37:19,250 --> 01:37:22,416
I know, honey.
It's like we're in the Twilight Zone.
2177
01:37:22,416 --> 01:37:23,875
(CRYING):
Dad, no.
2178
01:37:23,875 --> 01:37:25,000
NICK:
How do we fix this?
2179
01:37:25,000 --> 01:37:26,500
Daddy!
2180
01:37:26,500 --> 01:37:28,125
I'm-a keep it real.
2181
01:37:28,125 --> 01:37:29,833
Worst Christmas ever.
2182
01:37:30,916 --> 01:37:33,666
Look, bad things happen to good people,
2183
01:37:33,666 --> 01:37:37,083
but if you have family and love,
2184
01:37:37,083 --> 01:37:39,000
you'll get through anything.
2185
01:37:39,000 --> 01:37:44,000
And it's always better to get through it
together than on your own.
2186
01:37:44,000 --> 01:37:45,875
(CAROL SOBS SOFTLY)
2187
01:37:45,875 --> 01:37:49,333
Joy, you go to any college you want to.
2188
01:37:49,333 --> 01:37:51,750
'Cause you are unstoppable,
2189
01:37:51,750 --> 01:37:54,041
and it should be your choice.
2190
01:37:54,041 --> 01:37:57,708
And, Nick, your music is good.
2191
01:37:57,708 --> 01:37:59,041
Really good.
2192
01:37:59,041 --> 01:38:00,666
I saw that tonight.
2193
01:38:00,666 --> 01:38:04,916
Son, you're an entertainer
and you're a leader,
2194
01:38:04,916 --> 01:38:07,083
and you need to share your gift.
2195
01:38:07,083 --> 01:38:09,958
And, Holly, baby girl,
2196
01:38:09,958 --> 01:38:12,666
you keep the spirit of Christmas alive,
every day.
2197
01:38:12,666 --> 01:38:15,291
That's always been
your gift to the world.
2198
01:38:15,291 --> 01:38:18,541
That's always been your gift to me.
2199
01:38:18,541 --> 01:38:21,916
And, Carol, mama,
you gonna have to go on without me.
2200
01:38:21,916 --> 01:38:24,666
No, Chris. Chris,
we're not the Carvers without you.
2201
01:38:24,666 --> 01:38:25,833
We're just not.
2202
01:38:25,833 --> 01:38:28,541
Oh, too bad, so sad.
2203
01:38:28,541 --> 01:38:30,625
Say goodbye to your dad. (LAUGHS)
2204
01:38:30,625 --> 01:38:32,500
Wait, wait. Wait!
2205
01:38:34,666 --> 01:38:36,833
Santa! Please.
2206
01:38:36,833 --> 01:38:38,250
Please, you've got to help.
2207
01:38:39,333 --> 01:38:41,208
No, no, no. Don't get any ideas,
old man.
2208
01:38:41,208 --> 01:38:42,541
I won fair and square.
2209
01:38:42,541 --> 01:38:45,041
They needed 40 gold
rings in their hands.
2210
01:38:45,041 --> 01:38:47,041
And how many rings do they have?
2211
01:38:48,583 --> 01:38:51,166
- 38. I counted.
- Uh, 38.
2212
01:38:51,166 --> 01:38:52,750
We have 38 gold rings.
2213
01:38:52,750 --> 01:38:54,458
You sure about that?
2214
01:38:54,458 --> 01:38:56,666
Y-Yeah. I-I...
2215
01:38:56,666 --> 01:38:58,333
(GASPS)
2216
01:38:58,333 --> 01:39:01,000
Wait. 39.39!
2217
01:39:01,000 --> 01:39:03,125
Plus mine makes 40!
2218
01:39:03,125 --> 01:39:04,666
(GASPING, SHOUTING)
2219
01:39:05,708 --> 01:39:07,416
(CHRIS SHOUTING)
2220
01:39:10,708 --> 01:39:12,708
- JOY: Dad, you're back!
- What just happened?
2221
01:39:12,708 --> 01:39:13,791
(GRUNTING EXCITEDLY)
2222
01:39:14,833 --> 01:39:16,083
CAROL:
Oh, God, you're heavy.
2223
01:39:16,083 --> 01:39:17,500
(LAUGHS)
2224
01:39:17,500 --> 01:39:19,625
Hi. (LAUGHS)
2225
01:39:19,625 --> 01:39:21,833
Oh, my God! I love you!
2226
01:39:21,833 --> 01:39:23,333
- CHRIS: Oh, I love y'all so much.
- (LAUGHS)
2227
01:39:23,333 --> 01:39:24,750
- CAROL: We love you, too.
- Oh, God.
2228
01:39:25,833 --> 01:39:27,375
- Oh, my goodness.
- (SIGHS) Holly.
2229
01:39:27,375 --> 01:39:28,750
HOLLY:
Daddy, I love you.
2230
01:39:28,750 --> 01:39:30,875
- (CHRIS GRUNTS)
- (HOLLY LAUGHS)
2231
01:39:30,875 --> 01:39:32,458
Those don't count. Those don't count!
2232
01:39:32,458 --> 01:39:34,208
40 rings, Pepper.
2233
01:39:34,208 --> 01:39:36,125
- No! No.
- Just like you said.
2234
01:39:36,125 --> 01:39:38,250
In their hands.
2235
01:39:38,250 --> 01:39:39,833
No, no, no, no!
2236
01:39:39,833 --> 01:39:41,833
No!
2237
01:39:41,833 --> 01:39:43,500
No, no!
2238
01:39:43,500 --> 01:39:44,708
(SIGHS)
2239
01:39:44,708 --> 01:39:47,041
No. No.
2240
01:39:48,666 --> 01:39:50,125
No!
2241
01:39:50,125 --> 01:39:52,708
Hey, can y'all not forget about
the little people, like, literally?
2242
01:39:52,708 --> 01:39:55,166
Hey, Santa,
2243
01:39:55,166 --> 01:39:57,208
is there anything you
can do to help them?
2244
01:39:57,208 --> 01:39:59,333
No. No, they are mine.
2245
01:39:59,333 --> 01:40:00,708
(ALL SHOUT)
2246
01:40:00,708 --> 01:40:02,333
They made a deal, too, and they lost!
2247
01:40:02,333 --> 01:40:04,708
- They lost!
- You're right. They did.
2248
01:40:04,708 --> 01:40:05,875
- Oh.
- There's nothing I can do.
2249
01:40:05,875 --> 01:40:07,250
CORDELIA:
Shaken ornament syndrome.
2250
01:40:07,250 --> 01:40:09,625
But I know something that can.
2251
01:40:09,625 --> 01:40:10,750
Oh, what's that?
2252
01:40:10,750 --> 01:40:12,666
A child's Christmas wish.
2253
01:40:12,666 --> 01:40:14,208
CORDELIA:
Aw.
2254
01:40:16,333 --> 01:40:18,375
Oprah said if I believe,
I can do anything!
2255
01:40:18,375 --> 01:40:19,916
(SHOUTS)
2256
01:40:19,916 --> 01:40:21,875
Let's park and dive!
2257
01:40:21,875 --> 01:40:23,833
PIP (SCREAMS):
Jumping in!
2258
01:40:23,833 --> 01:40:26,625
- Oh! Oh!
- (FAMILY CHEERING)
2259
01:40:26,625 --> 01:40:28,916
(EXCITED SHOUTING)
2260
01:40:31,000 --> 01:40:32,625
(LAUGHTER)
2261
01:40:32,625 --> 01:40:34,750
(EXCITED CHATTER, LAUGHTER)
2262
01:40:34,750 --> 01:40:36,041
We're back! We're back!
2263
01:40:37,041 --> 01:40:39,333
What in the absolute f...
2264
01:40:39,333 --> 01:40:42,041
- ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. ♪
- (BEATBOXING)
2265
01:40:42,041 --> 01:40:43,500
Holly, my angel.
2266
01:40:43,500 --> 01:40:45,500
- Are you Gary?
- Yeah. And you my future, ain't you?
2267
01:40:45,500 --> 01:40:46,875
- No, no, no, I didn't mean it like that.
- Are you my future?
2268
01:40:46,875 --> 01:40:48,125
Come on, baby, you don't like all that?
2269
01:40:48,125 --> 01:40:50,000
- I don't.
- Okay.
2270
01:40:50,000 --> 01:40:51,375
All right, all right.
2271
01:40:54,916 --> 01:40:56,375
(SCREAMS) What are we doing?!
2272
01:40:56,375 --> 01:40:58,666
- What are we doing?!
- (LAUGHTER)
2273
01:40:58,666 --> 01:41:01,583
Hey! Way to go, Santa Claus!
2274
01:41:01,583 --> 01:41:03,000
Why is this happening to me?
2275
01:41:04,500 --> 01:41:06,750
It's what I asked Santa for.
2276
01:41:06,750 --> 01:41:08,000
For Christmas.
2277
01:41:08,000 --> 01:41:10,125
Are you elfin' kidding me?
2278
01:41:10,125 --> 01:41:12,291
Thugs need hugs.
2279
01:41:12,291 --> 01:41:14,041
- Oh, no, no, no. -No, don't, don't, don't!
- (ALL SHOUTING)
2280
01:41:14,041 --> 01:41:16,125
CORDELIA:
Don't! Oh. Oh.
2281
01:41:17,375 --> 01:41:19,333
Why is it so warm?
2282
01:41:19,333 --> 01:41:21,291
That's the spirit.
2283
01:41:21,291 --> 01:41:23,625
Now, if you promise to be good,
2284
01:41:23,625 --> 01:41:26,500
I'll let you return to the North Pole.
2285
01:41:26,500 --> 01:41:27,708
Deal!
2286
01:41:27,708 --> 01:41:29,125
CHRIS:
Wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.
2287
01:41:29,125 --> 01:41:31,750
You gonna let her return to the North
Pole after all the stuff she did to us?
2288
01:41:31,750 --> 01:41:34,041
I'm Santa Claus, Christopher.
2289
01:41:34,041 --> 01:41:35,833
Everybody gets a second chance.
2290
01:41:35,833 --> 01:41:37,291
Oh, no, Santa Claus.
2291
01:41:37,291 --> 01:41:39,000
I mean, she did a lot of stuff here.
2292
01:41:39,000 --> 01:41:41,708
At-at the very least,
she should be flogged or something.
2293
01:41:41,708 --> 01:41:43,041
- Mm-hmm.
- PEPPER: Oh.
2294
01:41:43,041 --> 01:41:45,041
It's been a long time
since my last flogging.
2295
01:41:45,041 --> 01:41:47,750
- Well, you overdue.
- (SHUDDERS)
2296
01:41:47,750 --> 01:41:49,666
All right, come on, everyone.
2297
01:41:49,666 --> 01:41:52,250
Let's get you home
in time for Christmas.
2298
01:41:52,250 --> 01:41:53,708
- Oh, oh! Bye! (LAUGHS)
- CAROL: Bye!
2299
01:41:53,708 --> 01:41:55,458
- Shotgun!
- (GRUNTS) Not if I get there first!
2300
01:41:55,458 --> 01:41:57,625
- (CHUCKLES)
- That's not how shotgun works, Gary!
2301
01:41:57,625 --> 01:42:00,541
My heels! Oops.
2302
01:42:00,541 --> 01:42:02,791
Where's your magic up in here?
2303
01:42:05,708 --> 01:42:07,083
I'm gonna miss you, guv.
2304
01:42:07,083 --> 01:42:10,291
Pip, I wish you could stay, but you
probably got family waiting on you, right?
2305
01:42:12,291 --> 01:42:14,000
Right.
2306
01:42:14,000 --> 01:42:15,916
Family.
2307
01:42:15,916 --> 01:42:17,875
That's the real gift, innit?
2308
01:42:17,875 --> 01:42:19,916
Yeah, it is.
2309
01:42:19,916 --> 01:42:21,333
Merry Christmas, Pip.
2310
01:42:21,333 --> 01:42:23,250
Merry Christmas.
2311
01:42:23,250 --> 01:42:24,708
All right.
2312
01:42:26,208 --> 01:42:27,958
Babe, look. They're gonna take off.
2313
01:42:27,958 --> 01:42:30,208
Merry Christmas, everyone!
2314
01:42:30,208 --> 01:42:31,916
Merry Christmas!
2315
01:42:31,916 --> 01:42:33,458
- Bye, Cordelia! -(LAUGHS)
- Bye!
2316
01:42:33,458 --> 01:42:35,041
Hyah!
2317
01:42:35,041 --> 01:42:39,041
♪ Just hear those sleigh bells jingling,
ring ting tingling, too ♪
2318
01:42:39,041 --> 01:42:42,291
♪ Come on, it's lovely weather
for a sleigh ride together with you ♪
2319
01:42:42,291 --> 01:42:44,291
- ♪ Take a ride ♪
- ♪ Outside, the snow is falling... ♪
2320
01:42:44,291 --> 01:42:45,416
- Bye-bye!
- Bye! -Bye!
2321
01:42:45,416 --> 01:42:47,208
Bye, Santa!
2322
01:42:47,208 --> 01:42:49,875
(SLEIGH WHIRRING)
2323
01:42:49,875 --> 01:42:52,708
- (EXPLOSIVE WHOOSHING)
- Ho ho ho!
2324
01:42:52,708 --> 01:42:54,208
CAROL:
Oh! Oh.
2325
01:42:54,208 --> 01:42:56,041
(KIT GASPS)
2326
01:42:59,958 --> 01:43:01,541
Oh, my gosh. Oh, oh, oh!
2327
01:43:01,541 --> 01:43:03,166
- Wow. -Hey!
- Oh, my God.
2328
01:43:03,166 --> 01:43:05,750
Oh, that was great. And snow?
2329
01:43:05,750 --> 01:43:07,083
- (LAUGHS): Hey!
- Hey!
2330
01:43:07,083 --> 01:43:09,541
Whoa! Look at that!
2331
01:43:09,541 --> 01:43:11,791
- It's amazing. It's amazing.
- No way. -Hey!
2332
01:43:11,791 --> 01:43:12,916
- Oh.
- (SPUTTERING)
2333
01:43:12,916 --> 01:43:14,208
What happened?
2334
01:43:14,208 --> 01:43:15,458
That's not snow.
2335
01:43:16,958 --> 01:43:18,958
- Oh, hell no.
- Oh, you're kidding me.
2336
01:43:18,958 --> 01:43:20,375
- From Bruce's yard!
- It's Bruce!
2337
01:43:20,375 --> 01:43:22,916
Ugh. I thought it was
one of those moments.
2338
01:43:22,916 --> 01:43:24,333
(CHUCKLES):
Wow!
2339
01:43:24,333 --> 01:43:25,791
Wow! Wow!
2340
01:43:25,791 --> 01:43:27,583
I mean, it all looked so real.
2341
01:43:28,666 --> 01:43:30,666
I mean,
I think it... I think it was real.
2342
01:43:30,666 --> 01:43:33,375
Uh, real good. (LAUGHS)
2343
01:43:33,375 --> 01:43:36,291
Like Tony's Tacos.
2344
01:43:36,291 --> 01:43:38,583
Live every day like it's...
2345
01:43:40,458 --> 01:43:42,083
Like it's Christmas.
2346
01:43:43,333 --> 01:43:44,458
(GASPS)
2347
01:43:44,458 --> 01:43:45,625
(LAUGHING)
2348
01:43:45,625 --> 01:43:47,083
I don't know how we gonna top this
next year.
2349
01:43:47,083 --> 01:43:49,541
- No, Chris, we don't want to do that.
- What? Next year? -Seriously? -What?
2350
01:43:49,541 --> 01:43:52,125
- I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
- Okay, but the-the good news!
2351
01:43:52,125 --> 01:43:54,125
It's ten months to Halloween.
2352
01:43:54,125 --> 01:43:55,875
- Yeah! -(EXCITED CHATTER)
- HOLLY: Yeah!
2353
01:43:55,875 --> 01:43:58,375
JOY (LAUGHS):
Oh, my gosh, seriously, Mom?
2354
01:43:58,375 --> 01:44:00,458
♪ ♪
2355
01:44:08,916 --> 01:44:10,583
Not bad.
2356
01:44:10,583 --> 01:44:12,958
- CHRIS: Merry Christmas, Bruce.
- Oh, hey.
2357
01:44:12,958 --> 01:44:14,833
- Chris. Thank you.
- Yeah, man.
2358
01:44:14,833 --> 01:44:17,458
I didn't get anything for you,
but I will.
2359
01:44:17,458 --> 01:44:18,541
And hey!
2360
01:44:18,541 --> 01:44:20,333
(CHUCKLES):
What is this?
2361
01:44:20,333 --> 01:44:22,083
- It's fleece. It's fleece.
- Is this... Is it real fleece?
2362
01:44:22,083 --> 01:44:23,958
- That's real fleece. Yeah.
- That is so generous of you.
2363
01:44:23,958 --> 01:44:26,666
(LAUGHING) I love fleece.
2364
01:44:26,666 --> 01:44:28,083
How about that?
2365
01:44:28,083 --> 01:44:30,458
- I saw it, and I thought, "Bruce."
- (RINGTONE PLAYING)
2366
01:44:30,458 --> 01:44:33,250
Little known fact about fleece:
It's very breathable.
2367
01:44:33,250 --> 01:44:35,500
- Very breathable fabric.
- (RINGTONE CONTINUES)
2368
01:44:35,500 --> 01:44:38,250
- That's not the calling birds, is it?
- I really hope not.
2369
01:44:39,333 --> 01:44:40,500
Hello?
2370
01:44:43,166 --> 01:44:44,250
It's for you.
2371
01:44:44,250 --> 01:44:45,958
- Oh. All right.
- (SIGHS)
2372
01:44:45,958 --> 01:44:47,375
Okay.
2373
01:44:48,791 --> 01:44:50,916
So, yeah, man,
I think you're gonna enjoy that.
2374
01:44:50,916 --> 01:44:52,833
(CHUCKLES):
Yeah. What size is it?
2375
01:44:52,833 --> 01:44:54,833
- Hello?
- Your size.
2376
01:44:54,833 --> 01:44:57,208
Uh, uh-huh.
2377
01:44:57,208 --> 01:44:59,666
Um, okay, yeah.
2378
01:44:59,666 --> 01:45:01,666
Uh, merry Christmas to you, too.
2379
01:45:01,666 --> 01:45:03,833
All right. Buh-bye.
2380
01:45:03,833 --> 01:45:06,625
(GASPING)
2381
01:45:08,791 --> 01:45:09,916
(LAUGHS)
2382
01:45:12,583 --> 01:45:14,291
(HOARSELY):
I got the job.
2383
01:45:14,291 --> 01:45:15,500
I got the job!
2384
01:45:15,500 --> 01:45:18,083
- You got the job.
- HOLLY: What? Are you serious?
2385
01:45:18,083 --> 01:45:20,750
- You got the job! (LAUGHING)
- (SQUEALS)
2386
01:45:20,750 --> 01:45:22,625
(LAUGHTER)
2387
01:45:22,625 --> 01:45:24,458
- All right.
- Incredible!
2388
01:45:24,458 --> 01:45:26,333
- (KNOCKING)
- Oh. Oh, get the door.
2389
01:45:26,333 --> 01:45:28,041
- I got the job. Oh, my God.
- Mommy!
2390
01:45:28,041 --> 01:45:29,208
- Oh. I got the job.
- Ah.
2391
01:45:29,208 --> 01:45:30,875
- I can't believe it!
- I got it.
2392
01:45:30,875 --> 01:45:32,458
- No, I'm okay. Okay.
- Okay.
2393
01:45:34,333 --> 01:45:35,458
Hey!
2394
01:45:37,041 --> 01:45:38,291
Pip, you're back.
2395
01:45:38,291 --> 01:45:39,416
Morning, guv.
2396
01:45:39,416 --> 01:45:41,333
- Hey, is everything okay?
- Yeah.
2397
01:45:41,333 --> 01:45:43,208
Just found myself in the borough,
thought I'd stop by.
2398
01:45:43,208 --> 01:45:44,583
Pip!
2399
01:45:44,583 --> 01:45:46,166
- Merry Christmas, my angel.
- (CAROL LAUGHS)
2400
01:45:46,166 --> 01:45:47,750
I made a wish meself, Holly.
2401
01:45:47,750 --> 01:45:49,750
It's to not spend the
holidays on me own.
2402
01:45:49,750 --> 01:45:51,541
- Aw. -If you'll have me.
- Oh, man.
2403
01:45:51,541 --> 01:45:52,791
Get this man a taco.
2404
01:45:52,791 --> 01:45:54,708
- Tacos.
- Taco?
2405
01:45:54,708 --> 01:45:57,916
- What is that?
- This is wine in a box!
2406
01:45:57,916 --> 01:45:59,416
- How kind.
- Aw.
2407
01:45:59,416 --> 01:46:00,750
And what is this?
2408
01:46:00,750 --> 01:46:02,625
That is a fresh lady mallard.
2409
01:46:02,625 --> 01:46:05,250
- Ah, a fresh-killed lady mallard.
- Ah.
2410
01:46:05,250 --> 01:46:06,375
- Delicious.
- Oh, yes.
2411
01:46:06,375 --> 01:46:08,916
- It's a Christmas miracle.
- (PIP AND CAROL LAUGH)
2412
01:46:08,916 --> 01:46:10,708
Ah, well, come on in and have a seat.
2413
01:46:10,708 --> 01:46:12,166
- Please come sit down.
- Have a seat with us, Pip.
2414
01:46:12,166 --> 01:46:13,833
We're having tacos tonight.
2415
01:46:13,833 --> 01:46:15,791
- Please. -Oh, splendid.
- But, uh, I'm sure
2416
01:46:15,791 --> 01:46:20,000
we could, uh, figure out how to, how to
break this, uh, lady mallard down into...
2417
01:46:20,000 --> 01:46:21,250
Baby, do you, do you know
how to prepare mallard?
2418
01:46:21,250 --> 01:46:22,958
Ooh, nice one.
2419
01:46:22,958 --> 01:46:24,541
Chris, fits like a glove.
2420
01:46:24,541 --> 01:46:26,583
Ah, yes, it does. That's a sport cut.
2421
01:46:26,583 --> 01:46:28,208
Yeah, it's very hard to breathe, though.
2422
01:46:28,208 --> 01:46:30,666
CHRIS: This is, this is Bruce.
This is Pip. Pip, Bruce.
2423
01:46:30,666 --> 01:46:32,458
PIP:
Pleasure. You must be the local dandy.
2424
01:46:32,458 --> 01:46:36,375
♪ It's a miracle ♪
2425
01:46:36,375 --> 01:46:39,583
♪ What we go through ♪
2426
01:46:39,583 --> 01:46:41,250
(TREE DINGS)
2427
01:46:41,250 --> 01:46:45,000
♪ We will aim high ♪
2428
01:46:45,000 --> 01:46:48,916
♪ We'll find the joy for you ♪
2429
01:46:50,708 --> 01:46:54,041
{\an8}♪ Bells are ringing, ringing ♪
2430
01:46:54,041 --> 01:46:56,750
{\an8}♪ Your time is ticking, too ♪
2431
01:46:56,750 --> 01:46:59,625
{\an8}- ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪
2432
01:46:59,625 --> 01:47:01,208
{\an8}♪ Oh, oh ♪
2433
01:47:01,208 --> 01:47:05,875
{\an8}♪ 'Tis the season for the golden rings ♪
2434
01:47:05,875 --> 01:47:10,000
{\an8}♪ Everybody, gather round and sing ♪
2435
01:47:10,000 --> 01:47:14,208
♪ Let's bring the type of joy
that keep us together ♪
2436
01:47:14,208 --> 01:47:18,083
♪ A friendly reminder
we can do this in any weather ♪
2437
01:47:18,083 --> 01:47:20,625
(SONG FADING):
♪ It's a miracle... ♪
2438
01:47:23,541 --> 01:47:25,333
Well, hello. Good to see you.
2439
01:47:25,333 --> 01:47:27,291
I thought you were giving me
a second chance!
2440
01:47:27,291 --> 01:47:29,166
Oh, you'll get one.
2441
01:47:29,166 --> 01:47:30,416
I believe in you.
2442
01:47:30,416 --> 01:47:32,333
And if you're a good little ornament,
2443
01:47:32,333 --> 01:47:35,291
you can work your way up
to the reindeer stalls...
2444
01:47:35,291 --> 01:47:37,875
Santa, please! Anything but that.
2445
01:47:37,875 --> 01:47:39,958
...where you'll shovel dookie.
2446
01:47:39,958 --> 01:47:41,541
Please. Is there anything I can do?
2447
01:47:41,541 --> 01:47:43,333
- (SCOLDING STAMMER)
- No, but I just feel that...
2448
01:47:43,333 --> 01:47:45,500
- (SCOLDING STAMMER)
- I'm just upset because clearly...
2449
01:47:45,500 --> 01:47:46,666
(SCOLDING STAMMER)
2450
01:47:46,666 --> 01:47:49,166
You can't just turn everyone you want
into an ornament.
2451
01:47:49,166 --> 01:47:51,000
- (SCOLDING STAMMER)
- I'm sorry, Santa.
2452
01:47:51,000 --> 01:47:52,666
- Please. Please.
- (SCOLDING STAMMER)
2453
01:47:52,666 --> 01:47:55,000
You're ruining my life, Santa.
2454
01:47:55,000 --> 01:47:57,500
♪ ♪
2455
01:48:06,583 --> 01:48:08,583
♪ ♪
2456
01:48:10,083 --> 01:48:13,541
{\an8}♪ Let's get mystical ♪
2457
01:48:13,541 --> 01:48:17,583
{\an8}♪ Here's what we gon' do ♪
2458
01:48:19,250 --> 01:48:22,666
{\an8}♪ We will aim high ♪
2459
01:48:22,666 --> 01:48:26,833
{\an8}♪ We'll find the joy for you ♪
2460
01:48:28,500 --> 01:48:31,875
{\an8}♪ Bells are ringing, ringing ♪
2461
01:48:31,875 --> 01:48:34,000
{\an8}♪ Your time is ticking, too ♪
2462
01:48:34,000 --> 01:48:37,625
{\an8}♪ Your time is ticking, too, hey ♪
2463
01:48:37,625 --> 01:48:39,333
{\an8}♪ Yeah ♪
2464
01:48:39,333 --> 01:48:43,291
{\an8}♪ I can't believe the love
and the joy sent to me ♪
2465
01:48:43,291 --> 01:48:46,500
{\an8}♪ Everybody came together,
and that's all that we need ♪
2466
01:48:46,500 --> 01:48:48,125
{\an8}♪ That's all we needed ♪
2467
01:48:48,125 --> 01:48:52,041
{\an8}♪ We can't get caught up
in this world's evil little game ♪
2468
01:48:52,041 --> 01:48:56,333
{\an8}♪ Just believe it in your heart,
anything can come your way ♪
2469
01:48:56,333 --> 01:49:01,208
{\an8}♪ "Jingle, jingle bells," we sing ♪
2470
01:49:01,208 --> 01:49:04,041
{\an8}♪ Traveling around for rings ♪
2471
01:49:04,041 --> 01:49:05,916
{\an8}♪ Mm-mm ♪
2472
01:49:05,916 --> 01:49:09,666
{\an8}♪ We need the whole family ♪
2473
01:49:09,666 --> 01:49:11,875
{\an8}♪ When we swallow our pride ♪
2474
01:49:11,875 --> 01:49:14,208
{\an8}♪ We can do anything ♪
2475
01:49:14,208 --> 01:49:18,125
{\an8}♪ It's a miracle ♪
2476
01:49:18,125 --> 01:49:20,416
{\an8}♪ What we go through ♪
2477
01:49:20,416 --> 01:49:23,291
{\an8}♪ Oh, what we go through ♪
2478
01:49:23,291 --> 01:49:26,458
{\an8}♪ Let's get mystical ♪
2479
01:49:26,458 --> 01:49:30,750
{\an8}♪ Here's what we gon' do ♪
2480
01:49:30,750 --> 01:49:32,375
{\an8}(VOCALIZING)
2481
01:49:32,375 --> 01:49:35,875
- ♪ We will aim high ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
2482
01:49:35,875 --> 01:49:38,125
♪ We'll find the joy for you ♪
2483
01:49:38,125 --> 01:49:39,833
♪ We'll find it ♪
2484
01:49:39,833 --> 01:49:41,500
♪ Ring, ring, ring ♪
2485
01:49:41,500 --> 01:49:45,000
♪ Bells are ringing, ringing ♪
2486
01:49:45,000 --> 01:49:47,291
♪ Your time is ticking, too ♪
2487
01:49:47,291 --> 01:49:48,958
♪ Oh... ♪
2488
01:49:48,958 --> 01:49:51,083
- Why'd you pick the tuba anyway?
- It called me.
2489
01:49:51,083 --> 01:49:53,208
It called you? The tuba called you?
2490
01:49:53,208 --> 01:49:55,333
- CAROL: What did it sound like?
- (SPUTTERS)
2491
01:49:55,333 --> 01:49:56,958
(LAUGHTER)
2492
01:49:56,958 --> 01:49:58,416
- (FILM BEEPS)
- Hey.
2493
01:49:58,416 --> 01:50:00,541
Oh, God, I think
there's a saltine in here that's...
2494
01:50:00,541 --> 01:50:01,791
- EMERSON: Oh.
- It's tearing me up.
2495
01:50:01,791 --> 01:50:03,250
- You want some saltines?
- Uh, no.
2496
01:50:03,250 --> 01:50:04,916
(LAUGHS) I have chocolate!
2497
01:50:04,916 --> 01:50:06,416
PEPPER:
Well, all that's about to change
2498
01:50:06,416 --> 01:50:08,708
- because Peppermint is...
- (SHOUTS) Who?
2499
01:50:08,708 --> 01:50:10,083
(LAUGHTER)
2500
01:50:10,083 --> 01:50:12,750
I bet you the white Santa Claus
could help us.
2501
01:50:12,750 --> 01:50:13,958
(LAUGHING):
I'm sorry.
2502
01:50:13,958 --> 01:50:16,000
- Why you gonna do that to me, man?
- I'm sorry.
2503
01:50:16,000 --> 01:50:18,333
- It's not as heavy as it looks.
- It's huge! It...
2504
01:50:18,333 --> 01:50:19,750
- You ready?
- No!
2505
01:50:19,750 --> 01:50:21,291
- Don't push it!
- I'm pushing!
2506
01:50:21,291 --> 01:50:22,375
Don't push it!
2507
01:50:22,375 --> 01:50:24,166
(LAUGHTER)
2508
01:50:24,166 --> 01:50:25,416
(BEATBOXING)
2509
01:50:25,416 --> 01:50:27,333
♪ It's Christmas time in... ♪
2510
01:50:27,333 --> 01:50:30,083
- (BEATBOXING CONTINUES)
- (LAUGHING)
2511
01:50:31,625 --> 01:50:33,166
- I am not as loud as you.
- (LAUGHS)
2512
01:50:33,166 --> 01:50:34,916
- In fact, you know how I met your mother?
- I'm scared to ask.
2513
01:50:34,916 --> 01:50:36,875
We was at a party,
and I heard somebody screaming,
2514
01:50:36,875 --> 01:50:39,375
(GOOFY VOICE):
"Party over here! Party over here!"
2515
01:50:39,375 --> 01:50:41,416
- "Go 'head! Go 'head!"
- Go 'head!
2516
01:50:41,416 --> 01:50:43,458
Let me tell you something
you guys don't know about your father.
2517
01:50:43,458 --> 01:50:45,916
- Hey. (STAMMERING)
- He's an amazing dancer and he can sing.
2518
01:50:45,916 --> 01:50:47,333
- What?
- I'm right... They can hear you.
2519
01:50:47,333 --> 01:50:48,750
You ain't got to talk so loud.
2520
01:50:48,750 --> 01:50:50,916
(LAUGHTER)
2521
01:50:50,916 --> 01:50:54,000
("TIMELESS CHRISTMAS"
BY COCO JONES PLAYING)
2522
01:50:59,416 --> 01:51:02,833
♪ Snowflakes falling,
it's that time of year ♪
2523
01:51:02,833 --> 01:51:06,125
♪ 'Tis the season,
spreading joy and cheer ♪
2524
01:51:06,125 --> 01:51:10,666
♪ Fire's glowing
and the lights are bright ♪
2525
01:51:10,666 --> 01:51:12,666
♪ Mm-mm ♪
2526
01:51:12,666 --> 01:51:15,916
♪ Children dream of gifts
underneath the tree ♪
2527
01:51:15,916 --> 01:51:19,250
♪ Smiles on their
face full of pure glee ♪
2528
01:51:19,250 --> 01:51:21,708
♪ Friends and family are near ♪
2529
01:51:21,708 --> 01:51:24,166
♪ Sharing memories so dear ♪
2530
01:51:24,166 --> 01:51:27,916
♪ Cherish the moment ♪
2531
01:51:27,916 --> 01:51:30,666
♪ With the people that surround you ♪
2532
01:51:30,666 --> 01:51:34,458
♪ Live in the moment ♪
2533
01:51:34,458 --> 01:51:37,166
♪ Today ♪
2534
01:51:37,166 --> 01:51:42,958
♪ Let's have a timeless Christmas ♪
2535
01:51:42,958 --> 01:51:46,291
♪ Let's just come together ♪
2536
01:51:46,291 --> 01:51:51,375
♪ In harmony as one forever ♪
2537
01:51:51,375 --> 01:51:54,958
♪ Ring the bells, let the music play ♪
2538
01:51:54,958 --> 01:52:00,208
♪ Feel the joy,
it's time to celebrate Christmas ♪
2539
01:52:00,208 --> 01:52:04,958
♪ Oh, this Christmas ♪
2540
01:52:04,958 --> 01:52:08,166
♪ In every home, a candle's lit aglow ♪
2541
01:52:08,166 --> 01:52:11,583
♪ A warmth of love for all to show ♪
2542
01:52:11,583 --> 01:52:14,958
♪ As snowflakes dance
outside the window ♪
2543
01:52:14,958 --> 01:52:20,916
♪ A feeling of peace forevermore ♪
2544
01:52:20,916 --> 01:52:24,041
♪ Feel the king, o holy night ♪
2545
01:52:24,041 --> 01:52:27,333
♪ The choir sings a song of life like ♪
2546
01:52:27,333 --> 01:52:29,916
♪ Pa-rum-pum-pum,
pa-rum-pum-pum-pum-pum ♪
2547
01:52:29,916 --> 01:52:33,583
♪ Cherish the moment ♪
2548
01:52:33,583 --> 01:52:36,416
♪ With the people that surround you ♪
2549
01:52:36,416 --> 01:52:40,125
♪ Live in the moment ♪
2550
01:52:40,125 --> 01:52:43,041
♪ Tonight ♪
2551
01:52:43,041 --> 01:52:48,750
♪ Let's have a timeless Christmas ♪
2552
01:52:48,750 --> 01:52:51,875
♪ Let's just come together ♪
2553
01:52:51,875 --> 01:52:57,125
♪ In harmony as one forever ♪
2554
01:52:57,125 --> 01:53:00,791
♪ Ring the bells, let the music play ♪
2555
01:53:00,791 --> 01:53:06,125
♪ Feel the joy,
it's time to celebrate Christmas ♪
2556
01:53:06,125 --> 01:53:09,708
♪ Oh, this Christmas ♪
2557
01:53:09,708 --> 01:53:13,958
♪ There's laughter in our hearts,
a special kind ♪
2558
01:53:13,958 --> 01:53:19,083
♪ Sharing love and kindness
in every rhyme ♪
2559
01:53:19,083 --> 01:53:23,625
♪ Every rhyme ♪
2560
01:53:23,625 --> 01:53:27,291
♪ We gather round
with friends by our side ♪
2561
01:53:27,291 --> 01:53:32,541
♪ And feel the magic in the sky ♪
2562
01:53:32,541 --> 01:53:35,833
♪ In the sky ♪
2563
01:53:35,833 --> 01:53:41,333
♪ Let's have a timeless Christmas ♪
2564
01:53:41,333 --> 01:53:44,625
♪ Let's just come together ♪
2565
01:53:44,625 --> 01:53:49,708
♪ In harmony as one forever ♪
2566
01:53:49,708 --> 01:53:53,541
- ♪ Ring the bells, let the music play ♪
- ♪ Ring, ring ♪
2567
01:53:53,541 --> 01:53:58,750
♪ Feel the joy,
it's time to celebrate Christmas ♪
2568
01:53:58,750 --> 01:54:02,291
♪ Oh, this Christmas ♪
2569
01:54:02,291 --> 01:54:04,791
(VOCALIZING)
2570
01:54:11,875 --> 01:54:17,333
♪ Timeless Christmas. ♪
2571
01:54:22,541 --> 01:54:24,458
(SONG ENDS)
2572
01:54:24,458 --> 01:54:26,541
♪ ♪
2573
01:54:56,000 --> 01:54:58,000
♪ ♪
2574
01:55:28,000 --> 01:55:30,000
♪ ♪
2575
01:56:00,000 --> 01:56:02,000
♪ ♪
2576
01:56:32,000 --> 01:56:34,000
♪ ♪
2577
01:56:57,000 --> 01:56:59,000
(MUSIC ENDS)
208749
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