All language subtitles for black-ish.S08E04.720p.AMZN.WEBRip.x264-GalaxyTV

Dre: Young people working
part-time jobs ...

it's the American way.

As a kid growing up in Compton
in the '80s,

I was mowing lawns at 12
and delivering papers at 14.

My kids, on the other hand,
do not have that hustle.

They're spoiled...

Dad, uh, can you help me with
that thing Mom's talking about?

...lazy...

You can't be
a two-day college dropout

and a stoner,
boy.

Pick a struggle!

...and entitled.[Thump]

If we don't get Chipotle
tonight, I swear to God,

I'm going to
burn this house down!

Maybe if I was harder
on their privileged asses,

one of them
would make me proud.

So, I did some tinkering
with the copy,

and now
the client wants us

to be
their agency of record.

Hm. Okay.

Hey, guys?
Hm?

You're looking at the new
locker-room attendant

for the Lakers!

[Laughs]

Oh, I'm so
proud of you, son!

[Patting back]

Oh!

Oh!
You got a job!

How did this happen?
How did you do ...

Uh-oh.
Wait a minute.
What?

Did you find a golden ticket
inside a candy bar?

- Come on.
- We have to ask you these questions, alright?

You are the kid who thought
that TikTok dancer

needed money
for medical school.

No,
it's real.

[Gasps]
It is.
What?

Lately, I've been working on
manifesting my dreams,

so when a guy in front of me
ordering lunch

had a Lakers lanyard on,
I started talking ball with him.

Afterwards,
we connected on Instagram,

and I told him to keep me
in mind for any openings.

So I kept
following up,

and today is the day
he finally came through.

You did this
all on your own?

Mm-hmm.
With no help
from Diane?

Yeah. I mean,
I helped brush his teeth

and made sure he didn't wander
into a construction site,

but this
- is all him.
- Yeah, you're right.

Finally, my hustle has started
to rub off on you kids.

I literally
brought in

$2 million worth
of billing today, but...

Our baby boy
has a job!

What?! [Gasps]
We gotta celebrate.

We should ... We should make
your favorite meal ...

No, no.
Noodles and butter!

Mom, you're not
gonna believe this...

What?
...but I
manifested that, too.

[Laughs]
No way.

Get ready. Get ready.
I'll cut the carrots.
I'll cut the carrots.

["Jeopardy!" theme plays]

Hurry up, Earl!

"Jeopardy!"'s starting,

and I don't want to miss
the personal anecdotes.

Here you go,
my love.
Mm!

Shrimp scampi
a la Earl.

[Chuckles]

Um...

Baby, didn't we
just have scampi?

Here we go, baby.
Shrimp scampi a la Earl.

Shrimp scampi
a la Earl.

♪

No, look, baby.

It's like
we got a new thing.

It's "Scampi
and 'Jeopardy!' Tuesdays."

It's nice.

Yeah,
throw that on top of

"Football
and Wings Monday."

Oh,
don't forget

"House Hunters"
and tacos on Wednesdays.

"Thursday Gumbo
and Shonda."

Love me
some gumbo and Shonda.

And Fridays,
we eat leftovers,

answer e-mails,
and the week's covered.

Yeah, it's nice to know
what every day of the week

is gonna look like
for the rest of your life.

Yep,
you and me,

doing this every Tuesday
until we die.

Until we die.

♪

Jack's new job still seemed
too good to be true,

but luckily, he had me,
a supportive father.

You see how easy
we got in here, man?

People are always
mistaking me for a baller.

Also, I scanned us in
with my badge.

Alright, well,
you know,

if you need me to stick around
and see how your first day goes,

make sure it goes smoothly,
you let me know.

Dad, this is not
pre-school drop off, okay?

I got this.

They sent me a PDF.
I read it.

I know where
the clean and dirty towels go.

Alright, son,
let me give you some advice

from somebody who's always
around celebrities

and big-time people,
all the time.

Never look them
in the eye.

They don't like that.

Why not?

I don't know, man.
Celebrity is weird.

One time, I saw Sinbad
go into a restaurant and wave

and leave without
eating anything.

Huh.

Okay, uh,
thanks, Dad.

Alright, well,
you know,

come on in here and
give it your best shot, son.

And let them know if
they're looking for a shooter,

I can sign
a 10-day contract.

Dre!

Ahh!

Ow.
Oh!

Dad.
Oh, uh.

Okay, son, uh,
you might want to pick that up

before anybody sees it,
okay?

Go, go, go, go.

Dad ...

♪

Whoa.

Loose balls foul
on that play, huh?

You must be
the new hire.

Yes, sir.
Jack Johnson.

Can't wait to start
folding underpants.

That's weird,
but I like your energy.

Where you from,
Jack Johnson?

Uh, the Oaks.

Hm, okay.
Dwight!

I want you to meet Jack Johnson
from the Oaks.

Oh, my cousin Sheila,
she's from the Oaks.

- You know her?
- Um, nah, sorry.

Wait,
- Sheila Howard?
- Yeah!

Oh, I still
don't know her.

Ahh, new guy,
you got jokes.

Alright.

[Basketball bouncing]

Boop.
[Laughs]

Ah, look at you two
in love.

Hey.
Hey, hey.

Don't be thinking about bringing
no babies in this house.

Be honest. Would you really
notice if there were any more?

No.
But I have a question.

Now, you two
have been together

for a couple of years now,
right?

- Mm-hmm.
- You live together.

You share
all your meals.

You do the same activity
day after day,

over and over
and over.

Yeah, we really got it
figured out.

I wouldn't use the words
"perfect couple,"

but the cartoonist
down at the pier did,

so, you know.

Listen, listen.
Listen, listen, listen.

Does it...
Does it ever feel like

things get
a little predictable?

I'm wondering, you know,
for a friend,

what are the kids doing
these days

to keep
the gravy hot?

Oh.
Eh?

Well, um,
the key is to mix it up.

See, like,
Junior and I

will pick restaurant names
out of a fishbowl.

We do little
scavenger hunts.

He unexpectedly
- pays my bills sometimes.
- Okay.

That's great.
[Chuckles]

Oh, and recently, we've started
confetti-ing each other.

Oh, yeah.

Sometimes, Olivia will just be
going about her day

and I'll randomly pop out
from behind a door

and shoot her with
a confetti cannon.

She loves it!

Yeah!

It's like I'm in Times Square
on New Year's,

just without the cold weather
and the pee smell.

It is just great.

Mm-hmm.

Hm.
Sounds stupid.

Oh.

When your grandfather and I
were your age,

we were cooling our heels
in Baja with fake IDs

[Chuckles]
under the assumed names

of Ron Avocado
and his sexy wife, Tina.

[Laughs]
That's what we were doing.

Okay, Grandma.
It was just an idea.

And I'm sure your friend,
whoever it is,

doesn't need our advice
anyway.

Oh, she doesn't, but I may still
pass it on to her.

Mm.

She's in Europe now,
you know, traveling around.

Good friend.

Earl! Earl!

♪

I'm telling you,
don't lend him no money.

It kills friendships.

Bro, it's my cousin's
girlfriend's barber's neighbor.

If I can't trust him,
who can I trust?

Mm. Preach.

What you think,
new guy?

Who, me?

Yeah, you,
Little Mustache.

Really?

'Cause at home, nobody wants
to know what I think.

No one even asks me
what time I want to eat.

I just know if
I'm not there by 6:00,

Dad's gonna finish it.

Well, lucky for you,
you're not at home,

so, uh, speak.

Okay, um...

Well, if a friend
asks me for money,

usually,
I'll lend it to them,

but I'll make sure
that they know

that there's no more
where that came from.

Sure, you can ask,
but you can only ask once.

Damn!
That's cold.

But you're not wrong.

Hey, pull up a chair,
my dude.

O-Okay.

What's your thoughts
on crypto?

♪

I hope Jack's first day at work
went well.

Ah, well,
I wouldn't count on it.

Why?

He, uh,
knocked over

a bunch of basketballs
before I left.

Well,
first jobs are tough.

I remember I was scooping
ice cream for minimum wage

and all I got was
15 pounds heavier.

[Laughs]

But I did learn a lot
about responsibility

and lactose intolerance.

You know, I think
this job is gonna be

a good learning experience
for Jack.

[Cellphone rings]
And hopefully,

he'll finally understand
the value of a dollar.

Hey, Jack.

Move my car
out of the driveway?

[Engine revs]♪ Wake up in the morning
feelin' fresh ♪

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ Feeling like
stuntin' on my ex ♪

First day went great!

♪ Movin' to the next [Sighs]

That right there?
That's game-worn, playboy.

Better not
see that on eBay.

- 'Sup, Mom?
- H-Hi, sweetheart.

What is this?
What is this?

♪ Too busy workin' on myself

Where did you get
a McLaren?

Dwight Howard doesn't have
any room in his garage

until he sells
the Lambo,

so I said
- I could hold it for him.
- Okay.

Okay,
I don't think it's normal

for you to have to store
an NBA All-Star's car.

Yeah, I know.

I mean, it's not,
but, babe, it's a McLaren.

So?

Alright, we'll keep your car
on the street for the night.

Hey, I'm gonna go wash up
for dinner.

You know, I caught a lot
of dirty jocks today, so...

Ew. [Groans]

Okay.

I know that
we were excited

about this job,
Dre,

but this is not flipping burgers
for gas money.

Okay, babe,
I hear you,

but I really think
this hustle

is gonna benefit him
in the long run.

Okay, you think it's a good idea
for him to be

hanging out
with people

that can lend him
a $100,000 car?

It's a $220,000 car.

Well, I'm worried that
we're setting him up for
unrealistic expectations.

Okay, babe.

How about we just set
some rules, alright?

Keep him grounded.
Perfect.

That is
a great idea

and will make me feel
a lot better.

Alright.

And I think you should
type those up

while I go make sure
Jack didn't forget

to turn the lights off
in the McLaren.

Hey!

Don't you drive that car
without me.

I am just
going to sit in it.

Okay.

[Sighs]

♪

[Loud pop]

What the hell?!
[Laughs]

You've been confetti'd,
lover!

What the hell
is wrong with you, woman?

You almost gave me
a heart attack!

It's gonna take Rainbow

a year
to clean up this mess.

Confetti in
my whiskey?

I mean, really, what do you
think you're doing?

[Sighs]

Nothing, Earl.

I'm not doing anything.

[Sighs]

Before Jack's next day
at the Lakers,

we made sure he knew
our new rules of the road.

Big day at work
coming up?
Yep.

I've got
to return the McLaren,

run some errands,

ah ... [Snaps fingers] ...
and we've got a shipment

of this new fabric softener
coming in

that I'm really excited to
get my nose on.

Alright, well,
before you go ...Yeah.

Your mother and I would like
to lay down some ground rules.

Yeah.

You already told me not to
look anyone in the eye,

and, uh, that's not
a thing, Dad.

[Clears throat]
Yeah, no, sweetheart.

We just want to make sure
that there's some guardrails up

so that you don't, you know,
- get off track.
- Yeah.

Rule number one ...

any car
that you bring home,

I get to drive.

Dre.
[Stammers]

Sorry ...
we get to drive.

Okay.

No more
bringing cars home.

Yes, exactly.

And you need to
keep your grades up,

and just because you're doing
chores for the Lakers

doesn't mean you get to
stop doing chores at home.

Fine.
Uh, I got it.

You sure?

Yes.

Alright, well, you have
a great day at work.

And here, sweetheart.
Here's the key.

Why would you ...

And just ignore

any extra mileage
on the McLaren

that, you know,
might be there from last night.

Okay.
Have a good day.

Tell Dwight
I said hello.

Extra mileage?

Yeah.

You were supposed to just
drive it around the block

if you were gonna
drive it, babe.

Where'd you go?

♪

Vroom!

Vrrrm-ree-errrrh-ahhh!

[Laughs]

♪

Hey, Jack.

If you want to make
a little extra money,

Anthony Davis needs someone
to dress up as Olaf

for his kid's
birthday party.

Uh, yeah.
I'm sorry.

I'm not able to do

any of
the after-hours stuff anymore.

Oh! Turns out Little Mustache
is a busy guy.

See,
time's not my problem.

Haters are my problem.

Nobody has
any faith in me.

Jack,
let me ask you this.

How many people you know
that's killing it

that don't have haters?

No one.

Exactly,
because that's just a sign

that you're doing something
right, and when you're
doing something right,

people get jealous,
they get confused,

they get to hating.

But you don't got to
pay them no mind.

You gotta do you, baby.
Don't let anything stop you!

Wait, really?

Yes, 100%.

Listen, your path is
for you to decide.

No one else.

Don't let anybody
get in your way ...

not the haters,
not the government,

not the guy in
the cafeteria telling you

they've stopped
serving breakfast. Nobody.

You get that burrito
if you want to get that
burrito, you hear me?

Wow.
You guys are so right.

I needed
to just stay on my path.

Thanks, guys.

Hey,
wash these, too.

Do you want to make any
extra money dressing up as Olaf?

'Cause none of us
can fit in the suit.

Hell, no.

♪

[Grunts]

Junior:
Hey, Pops.

Damn it.

What is it, everybody sneaking
up on me today?

First your grandmother
confettis me and now this?

You know,
you almost made me

spill your dad's
good liquor.

Hold up.
You got confetti'd?

- Yeah.
- So Grandma took our advice.

She's trying to
keep the romance alive.

Aww.
Hey,
our romance been alive

since before
the Black Panthers,

so you need to get that idea
out your mind.

Okay.

Of course, we've settled
into more of a schedule

than we would have
liked to,

and I can't even remember
the last time we had a meal

that didn't require
thawing out,

but we ... we don't need
your help.

But while
I have you here,

tell me what it is
that you young folks do

to keep it poppin'
these days.

Well, sometimes, Junior and I
stay up for hours

asking each other
questions like,

"What's the source of
your self-worth?"

Or, "If your house was
burning down,

what five things
would you save?"

And the more
I learn,

the more
I want to discover.

Yeah.

I'm an onion,
and she peels me.

[Both chuckle]

That's the dumbest [bleep]
I ever heard.

"What is the source
of your self-worth?"

[Chuckles]

This is the source of
my self-worth.

I'm going back to
the guest house.

There's no good advice
up in here.

I thought it was
pretty good advice, Pops.

Why'd he even ask?[Loud pop]

[Both laugh]
Gotcha!

They'll never have
what we have.
[Sighs]

Part of being the parent
is making the rules.

Your kids may not like it,

but deep down,
they respect you.

"I'll link up
with you later"?

What?

Jack's talking like
he's calling the shots.

No.
Yeah.

He's not asking now, he's just
telling us what he's doing?

Mm-hmm. Okay.

Hey, Jack?

This does not
work for us.

You need
to come home.

Send.

Whoa!

Oh,
hell no!

He put me on
Do Not Disturb!

Uh, he must think
he's grown.

How do you casually text someone
you're not coming home

and then put them on
Do Not Disturb?

Doesn't he know
I will set it off?

It doesn't
- sound like it.
- What?

Oh, we will.
Come on, Bow.

Okay,
I'm driving, though.

Hold on. I'm coming with.
Just let me grab the belt.

Okay, grab the one
with the spikes on it.

Hurry up, honey!

We made our way to Jack's work
to let him have it.

The fool didn't know
what was about to hit him.

Hey, Jack, I got to
give it to you.

They been practicing for
an hour and they don't
smell like toe juice.

Ah.
Good job.
Using the new softener?

Hey, I can't give up
any of my secrets,

but they win those games,
I'll do the rest.

Dre: Jack!

Jack Johnson!

Boy,
I see you hearing me!

Despite your best efforts,
we are here to disturb!

Hit your free throws,
Dwight!

- Hit them!
- We need security on the court.

There's some
middle-aged guy

losing his mind
down there.

Get your little, narrow butt
over here right now.

I'm sorry, friend.
I tried to stop them.

Well, I thought about
stopping them.

You know, I may have told them
a faster way to get here.

- I'm sorry.
- Okay, what are you guys doing here? I'm working.

Not anymore.
- No, no, no, no.
- Mnh-mnh.

I'm so sorry,
Los Angeles Lakers,

but Jack is going to
need to quit

because his Mommy ...
that's me ... and his Daddy

are here
and we are taking him home.

Okay, you guys are doing
way too much right now.

Oh, no, no, boy.
We could do so much more.

Give me
a basketball,

because I want
- to dunk on you.
- Mm-hmm.

Okay,
this is so embarrassing.

You don't tell us
how it is.

We tell you how it is,
and this is how it is.

Go to the car.

And do it fast,

'cause we're in
the red zone.

Hey.
Alright, let's go.

Okay. Go.
Go to the car.

Who's the parent?

Yeah, okay.
It's whatever it is.

Man,
I'm gonna miss that kid.

The last guy
who had his job

had me go out there
with two different color socks.

Embarrassing.

I'm gonna miss
his mama.

Why he ain't tell us
she was that fine?

Pssh. Mm-hmm.

Ooh-ooh, man.

Here you go,
baby.

Steak a la Earl.

Ohhh.

Mm.

Well, this is a nice change,
baby.

Mm-hmm.

Should I turn on
the TV?

No, baby. No, baby.
I thought we would just talk.

What, Earl?

So, uh...

What would you say

was your source
of self-worth?

What you talking about
my worth?

I mean, um...

Like,
what things would you save

if I set the house
on fire?

Earl Johnson,
if you're losing it,

I will 51-50 you
so fast.

I'm just trying to
peel your onion, baby.

Oh, pssh.

Wait, wait,
look, look, look.

Junior told me that
you asked him for some advice

on how to spice up
our relationship.

I'm just
trying something, too.

Aww, Earl.
Look at you.

Look, we don't need no
confetti cannons

to keep it hot
between us.

Yeah.
We're too sexy
for that.

Damn right.

We're sexy people
who do sexy things.

That's right.
[Laughs]

We should be
on a catamaran

cruising the Indian Ocean,

shooting fish
with rifles.

Instead, we're sitting here
in a guest house

in boring-ass
Sherman Oaks.

Well,
what is keeping us here?

Nothing!
Nothing!

Earl...

let's go
on an adventure.

Ooh.
Ron and Tina?

Ron and Tina...

Ha! Avocado!

Girl,
we gonna get kicked off

so many
cruise ships.

[Both laugh]

You know it.
[Laughs]

Alright.

Hey.

I think your little job
here at the Lakers

has you confused.

It is
completely unacceptable

for you
to be unreachable.

You're not Pops.

[Scoffs]

I bet it'd be fine
if I were Diane.

What?
What?
We're the same age,

yet you treat us
completely different.

That is not true.

Okay, well,
while y'all figure this out,

I'm gonna go
gas up the car.
Oh.

- Dre: Okay.
- Don't worry.

I got
a credit card.
Thanks.

You see that?

Y'all trust her but treat me
like I'm still a little kid.

No.

Those guys out there
treated me like an adult

for the first time
of my life.

To them, I'm not the kid
who got lost on Halloween

or the Jack who got his head
stuck in the banister

or the Jack who put his clothes
in the dishwasher.

I'm just Jack.

Or J-Sizzle.

That's what Dwight Howard
calls me.

So they...
The guys kinda like you?

Yeah,
I'm good at my job.

Eh,
maybe you're right.

Maybe us treating you
like a little kid

is keeping us from seeing
how much you've grown up.

Yeah.

I mean, you did get this job
all on your own,

and it seems like
you're doing ...

doing great here,
until...

Until we came
and humiliated you.

Yeah, okay, look.
In the blink of an eye,

you'll be
out of the house.

Maybe we need to start
treating him like that.

Thanks.

So, uh, do I still have to
quit my job?

Uh, well, no.

But ... But if you ever
put your father and I

on Do Not Disturb again,

I will personally tell
every single Laker Girl

that you draw on
your mustache.

Okay.

Go on.
Get up in there.

It's hard to accept
your kids are growing up,

but you do have a choice ...
you can fight it

or you can be proud of
the adults they're becoming.

We've got
to get out of here.

I just clipped
Magic Johnson's golf cart.

- What'd you do?
- Mm-hmm. Nope.

I'm not saying it again.
Come on.

Oh, man.
I can't believe this!

I just made
my last payment!

Somebody gonna pay
for this.

I bet you it was
that Dwight Howard.

Oh, I sure hope he likes
Detroit winters,

'cause it's over
for him.

[Clears throat]
Excuse me, I'm meeting someone.

Are you Don?
Don Sapphire?

[British accent]
I may be.

If you're
Gina Rhinestone.

I am.

And even when
the lights are off,

I sparkle
like a diamond.

Wait, is your name
Gina Diamond?

Did I mess that up?

Don't think about it.
Just keep going.

Sorry, sorry.
You're right. Uh...

[South African accent]
So, I need help

mining diamonds
in Africa.

Mm.
This isn't working for me.

Yeah, me neither.
My grandparents are nuts.

Yeah, I didn't want
to say anything.

♪

Oh! [Laughs]

[Both laugh]

Oh, yeah.
This feels like us.
Yeah.