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1
00:00:06,841 --> 00:00:09,800
-[whistle blows]
-[coach krupt] hustle up, snot rockets.
2
00:00:09,802 --> 00:00:11,343
Today we start a unit
3
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:14,805
That will test your physical
and emotional endurance.
4
00:00:14,807 --> 00:00:17,266
It will make men of you,
if you survive.
5
00:00:17,268 --> 00:00:18,183
[all gasp]
6
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:22,271
I speak of social dancing.
7
00:00:24,641 --> 00:00:27,192
[overlapping whimpering]
8
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:28,902
If we dance with girls,
that means
9
00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:31,280
We'll have to touch them.
10
00:00:31,282 --> 00:00:33,323
My mom says only sheeple
wear masks,
11
00:00:33,325 --> 00:00:34,366
But I don't care.
12
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:38,162
Cooties aren't a hoax.
They're real.
13
00:00:38,164 --> 00:00:40,164
-Grow up. Maturity.
-[grunts]
14
00:00:40,166 --> 00:00:41,832
-Rite of passage.
-Ow!
15
00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:42,958
-Change is beautiful.
-Ow!
16
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,669
You will learn
the touchiest version
17
00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:47,296
Of the texas two-step.
18
00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:48,756
Like so.
19
00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:51,967
[country music plays]
20
00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,177
Get real close, boys!
21
00:00:53,179 --> 00:00:55,095
Body to body. No daylight.
22
00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:57,181
We're gonna get cooties
for sure.
23
00:00:57,183 --> 00:00:58,974
I'm gonna find a way
to protect us.
24
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:01,685
Everyone solo dance
till I get back.
25
00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,729
♪
26
00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:11,904
Perfect.
27
00:01:13,032 --> 00:01:14,698
Quick, put these band-aids
on your hands.
28
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,992
They'll block any
and all girl contact.
29
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,494
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
30
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,457
Oh, I don't feel so good.
31
00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:27,753
Oh, these band-aids smell like
my uncle claude.
32
00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,588
Uh-oh.
33
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,799
Transdermal
34
00:01:31,801 --> 00:01:35,677
Nic... O... Tine!
35
00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:39,014
[all shouting, grunting]
36
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:44,478
[grunting]
37
00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:48,524
[yelling]
38
00:01:48,526 --> 00:01:51,026
[growling]
39
00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:52,694
[grunting]
40
00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:56,156
Well, bart, you've really
wet the mogwai this time.
41
00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:58,534
This wasn't my fault.
I didn't know those band-aids
42
00:01:58,536 --> 00:01:59,993
Would make everyone crazy.
43
00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:01,912
You expect me to believe that?
44
00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,956
Bart simpson, the prank king?
45
00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:06,250
The boy who live streamed
my colonoscopy
46
00:02:06,252 --> 00:02:07,793
To the second graders?
47
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,545
Hey, ralph did find that polyp.
48
00:02:09,547 --> 00:02:11,004
It was benign.
49
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,965
Unlike your punishment.
50
00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:15,592
Fine, don't believe me.
No one ever believes me.
51
00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:17,094
Do your worst.
52
00:02:17,096 --> 00:02:20,514
Welcome to supermax detention.
53
00:02:21,517 --> 00:02:22,975
[door creaks]
54
00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:24,768
Your worst was did.
55
00:02:26,105 --> 00:02:29,940
Did you see that video
with the dancing canadian boy?
56
00:02:29,942 --> 00:02:31,733
Yeah. Cute.
57
00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:35,154
Did you see the "unlikely animal
friends" video with the...
58
00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:37,614
Raccoon and horse riding around.
Good for them.
59
00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:40,742
-Mm-hmm, they'll do that.
-[phone chimes]
60
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,369
Oh.
61
00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:45,080
Homer, we just got invited
to a wedding...
62
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:47,207
In the poconos.
63
00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:49,585
It's a destination wedding.
64
00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:51,962
-Oh, god, no.
-What?
65
00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:55,257
Let me educate you about
destination weddings.
66
00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:59,344
Or, as I like to call them,
forced vacations.
67
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,305
You fly halfway across
the country
68
00:03:01,307 --> 00:03:04,433
To sit in a boring church,
not on Sunday.
69
00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:06,476
Then you're stuck in
a lousy hotel
70
00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:08,687
For a whole weekend
with a bunch of people
71
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:11,899
You don't know,
or you do know and you hate.
72
00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,942
And that's just the beginning.
73
00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:15,777
First there's
the "welcome drinks,"
74
00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:18,655
Where the "signature cocktail"
has a...
75
00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:20,657
[gags] cucumber in it.
76
00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:22,659
And this one's in the poconos,
77
00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:26,830
Which sounds like islands,
but it's just pennsylvania.
78
00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:29,166
And you're forced to do
all these
79
00:03:29,168 --> 00:03:30,959
Preplanned activities,
80
00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:33,545
Like a zipline you're
too fat to use.
81
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,340
And they have to bring in
a telephone bucket truck
82
00:03:36,342 --> 00:03:38,175
To get you down!
83
00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:40,177
And at the after-wedding brunch,
84
00:03:40,179 --> 00:03:44,139
Everyone calls you
johnny zipline.
85
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:47,017
And they open the presents
in front of everybody,
86
00:03:47,019 --> 00:03:49,770
So they all know
from the online registry
87
00:03:49,772 --> 00:03:51,104
Yours is the cheapest.
88
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:54,066
And it's all super expensive,
so you have to waste
89
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:56,193
All the airline miles you got
90
00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:59,112
When your credit card
was stolen by scammers,
91
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:02,199
Who bought $50,000
of printer toner!
92
00:04:02,201 --> 00:04:05,410
Of course. Yes. The toner miles.
93
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,663
We can use them to fly
to the wedding.
94
00:04:07,665 --> 00:04:10,290
Oh... But my rant.
95
00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:13,252
Homer simpson, I can't think of
anything more romantic
96
00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:16,630
Than transporting ourselves
to a magical setting
97
00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:18,840
To celebrate a new love.
98
00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:21,260
We are going.
99
00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:22,302
[whines]
100
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:27,557
There. Done.
101
00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,142
Clean it again.
102
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:31,061
Ugh! This isn't fair.
103
00:04:31,063 --> 00:04:32,354
I didn't do anything wrong.
104
00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:33,981
My only crime is I didn't want
to do dancing
105
00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:35,774
With some stupid girls!
106
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,943
Girls? That's why you're here?
107
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,362
[scoffs] be a man, boy.
108
00:04:40,364 --> 00:04:43,907
Don't fall apart
over some lassie
109
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:47,995
With silky hair and a dimple
you could get lost in
110
00:04:47,997 --> 00:04:50,998
Like a bottomless pit
of sweetness that...
111
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,917
[sobbing]
112
00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:56,044
[grunts, shouts]
113
00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:57,421
Oh, that feels better.
114
00:04:57,423 --> 00:05:01,466
So, you want to tell me
about this girl?
115
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,552
[sighs] take a seat.
116
00:05:03,554 --> 00:05:05,887
[grunting]
117
00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:09,141
It all happened in scotland,
in me youth.
118
00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:12,728
There was this girl
that I loved. Maisie.
119
00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:14,771
I thought she loved me back.
120
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,732
But she broke my heart.
121
00:05:16,734 --> 00:05:18,817
That's why I came to america,
122
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,028
Blighted land of
barbenheimmering
123
00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:22,404
Wrestling believers.
124
00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:25,657
To forget the fickle lass
who let willie down.
125
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:28,827
And all women! [grunts]
126
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,537
I'm with you, brother.
127
00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:32,497
[straining]
128
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,832
Who needs girls?
129
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,126
Now we're rage-bonding.
130
00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:39,880
[grunts] men don't let men down.
131
00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:44,718
[grunts]
this is how we express emotion!
132
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,219
[laughs]
133
00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:47,596
♪ we're gonna have a good day ♪
134
00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:49,431
♪ and all my homies gonna ride today ♪
135
00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:53,101
♪ and all these mommies look fly today ♪
136
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,853
♪ and all we wanna do is get by today ♪
137
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,188
♪ hey ♪
138
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:57,522
♪ we're gonna have a good day. ♪
139
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:58,940
Willie, get your wheelbarrow.
140
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:02,152
You won't believe what they
threw out at the hospital.
141
00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:05,989
Huh? Willie? Willie?
142
00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,866
Seymour, willie's gone.
143
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,451
I can't find him anywhere.
144
00:06:09,453 --> 00:06:11,828
Ha. Willie disappears
all the time.
145
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:15,624
He's probably drunk in a ditch
on the outskirts of town.
146
00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:19,628
Oh, my god. Willie?
147
00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:22,964
And then there's all the creepy
wedding weekend hook-ups,
148
00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:25,592
Which lead to the next
destination wedding.
149
00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:27,302
Dad, snap out of it.
150
00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:28,762
Something's happened to willie.
151
00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:31,681
Someone trashed his shack,
and I can't find him anywhere.
152
00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:33,850
-[facetime ringing]
-[gasps]
153
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:36,561
-It's him.
-Bart, my wee bestie.
154
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:40,649
I'm in edinburgh. I need you. Help!
155
00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:44,319
[crying out]
156
00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:47,322
[bart]
somebody kidnapped willie.
157
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:49,533
We've got to go to scotland
and help him.
158
00:06:49,535 --> 00:06:52,869
I'm the only person who cares
about him in the world.
159
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:56,164
Homie, bart's begged us
for a lot of things,
160
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:59,126
But I've never seen this look
in his eye before.
161
00:06:59,128 --> 00:07:02,087
Not even when he begged us
for that neck tattoo
162
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,798
Of a rattlesnake
with a hand grenade tail.
163
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:08,176
But we can't just
fly to scotland.
164
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:11,179
Marge, there is one way.
165
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,889
No, don't say it.
166
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,683
I have to say it.
167
00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:16,852
-No.
-The miles.
168
00:07:16,854 --> 00:07:19,396
But-but the poconos.
169
00:07:19,398 --> 00:07:23,066
The miles, marge.
They're transferable.
170
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:26,820
I know. I know they are.
171
00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:30,607
Ugh, I guess we're not going
to that destination wedding
172
00:07:30,609 --> 00:07:32,200
After all.
173
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:34,995
[scottish music plays]
174
00:07:44,465 --> 00:07:47,382
[gasps] that's the building
from willie's call.
175
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:48,758
[tires screech]
176
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,969
Willie, where are you?
177
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,221
[willie]
bart, is that you?
178
00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,056
I'll save you, willie!
179
00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:57,642
I won't let those bastards...
180
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,102
Pass you appetizers?
181
00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:03,190
Oh, bart, you came.
And just in time.
182
00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:05,609
-In time for what?
-My wedding.
183
00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:07,777
Willie's getting married!
184
00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:08,945
Married?!
185
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:12,157
[homer] welcome bags,
schedule of events.
186
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:14,993
Losers from home,
new people I already hate.
187
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,077
This is a...
188
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:18,371
Destination wedding.
189
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:22,417
[sobbing] no...!
190
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:31,134
What the hell, boy?
A destination wedding?
191
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:33,720
You promised me a kidnapping,
or murder.
192
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,180
Yeah, willie, what the hell?
193
00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,641
On that call, it sounded like
someone was killing you.
194
00:08:37,643 --> 00:08:41,394
Oh, that was just maisie
coming in for a snog.
195
00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:45,023
Give us a smooch,
you big, ugly bawbag.
196
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:48,318
Aw haud yer weesht 'fore I boke.
197
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:51,738
[both grunting, straining]
198
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:58,620
Maisie? Isn't that the girl
that betrayed you?
199
00:08:58,622 --> 00:08:59,955
[laughs]
200
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:02,499
Well, there is a bit
of a story there.
201
00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:06,503
A love story.
Ooh, please say it's long.
202
00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:09,714
It's all in the welcome-cocktail
slide show.
203
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,383
Oh!
204
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:13,593
[gentle romantic music playing]
205
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:18,348
[willie]
I was working for maisie's da,
206
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:20,767
Harvesting peat in the peat bogs.
207
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:24,187
[maisie]
burning peat is what giveswhiskey its distinctive flavor.
208
00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:27,732
And willie could sniff out the best bogs of them all.
209
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,442
And that's how we met.
210
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:32,279
[maisie] it was a "peat cute."
[laughs]
211
00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:36,366
[willie]
I was the happiest mud smeller in the world.
212
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:38,910
But her family disapproved of me.
213
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,787
They tried to shovel us apart,
214
00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:44,332
So we made plans to elope and sail away together.
215
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:46,167
But when I waited at the docks,
216
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:47,961
She did nae show.
217
00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:51,631
So I left for america, alone and bitter.
218
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:54,384
The reason I didn't show was
my family told me
219
00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:55,802
Willie was eaten by a sheep.
220
00:09:55,804 --> 00:10:00,974
But when I saw your tiktok,
I knew my love was alive.
221
00:10:00,976 --> 00:10:04,185
She slid right into my dms.
222
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:07,230
We started sexting right away.
223
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,859
[willie] so I dropped everything and came back,
224
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:12,360
Where the whole family was waiting
225
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:15,405
With open arms and an apology haggis.
226
00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:17,115
[applause]
227
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:20,327
Oh, willie, we cannot wait
to shove that wonderful
228
00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:23,288
Nose of yours in the bogs again
and take our whiskey
229
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:26,124
-Right back to the top.
-[cheering]
230
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:29,210
Willie was the one person
who understood my anger.
231
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:32,005
Now it's like
all our screaming meant nothing.
232
00:10:32,007 --> 00:10:34,007
Yeah, well, everything
I hate about these things
233
00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:35,216
Is coming true.
234
00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:37,135
We just got here,
and the weird hook-ups
235
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,137
Have already started.
236
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:42,807
So, is there a lunch mr. Dora?
237
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:45,685
-[laughs]
-ew.
238
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:49,230
Mom, how come lisa
doesn't have to do
239
00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:51,441
All this lovey-dovey
wedding crap?
240
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:52,984
Well, your sister isn't
best friends
241
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,361
With the school janitor,
242
00:10:54,363 --> 00:10:57,197
So she went off to tour
edinburgh on her own.
243
00:10:57,199 --> 00:11:00,158
Okay, I rubbed the toe
of david hume's statue.
244
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,285
I climbed the walter scott
monument.
245
00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:04,829
I ate something called
a scotch egg,
246
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,831
Which I very much regret.
247
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,875
[gasps] the fringe festival.
248
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,919
A celebration of
theatrical irony
249
00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:13,338
And self-awareness.
250
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:16,383
One for musical: The play,
please.
251
00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:19,844
Sorry, darling, this
ticket booth is ticket booth,
252
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,513
A one-man show
about a ticket booth.
253
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,348
If you want to buy a ticket
for ticket booth,
254
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,266
The ticket booth ticket booth
is over there.
255
00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:28,186
It's so clever
without being good.
256
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:33,391
Thanks for joining us
on our love hike
257
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:36,486
From moorland heath
to heathland moor.
258
00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:38,238
And now, a gentle stroll
259
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:41,241
Through the seven hills
of edinburgh.
260
00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:45,203
Aw, why can't all hills go down?
261
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:49,207
[scoffs] and look at all this
cutesy romantic crap
262
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,000
They're forcing us to do.
263
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:54,421
When am I gonna get some
free time?!
264
00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:57,132
Listen, mister, you're the one
who dragged us here,
265
00:11:57,134 --> 00:11:59,926
Spending a lifetime
of frequent-flier miles,
266
00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:02,178
And I'm not gonna let you
ruin this for me.
267
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:04,889
So how about you just suck it up
268
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:06,975
And do the cute activities?
269
00:12:06,977 --> 00:12:10,061
♪ if you find yourself caught in love ♪
270
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:14,065
♪ say a prayer to the man above ♪
271
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,776
♪ thank him for everything you know ♪
272
00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:20,029
♪ you should thank him for every breath you blow ♪
273
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:24,451
♪ if you find yourself caught in love ♪
274
00:12:24,453 --> 00:12:27,537
♪ say a prayer to the man above ♪
275
00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:30,874
♪ thank him for every day you pass ♪
276
00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:34,002
♪ you should thank him for saving your sorry ass. ♪
277
00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:36,129
Look, lis, I'm gonna
ask you for something
278
00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:38,590
I've never asked before.
Your opinion.
279
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:40,717
You literally haven't
said a word to me
280
00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:42,010
This entire trip.
281
00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:43,970
Well, now I am, okay?
282
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:45,597
[sighs] oh...
283
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:48,057
Hanging out with willie
was the one time
284
00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:51,269
I ever felt I wasn't
the only crazy one,
285
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:53,062
That someone understood me.
286
00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:55,356
And now he's gone goo-goo
for this girl
287
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:57,400
Whose family screwed him over.
288
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:58,735
What do I do?
289
00:12:58,737 --> 00:13:00,487
Well, when someone gets a chance
290
00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:02,197
To put an end
to their loneliness,
291
00:13:02,199 --> 00:13:03,573
They gotta take it.
292
00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,909
Have you ever seen willie
this happy?
293
00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:07,869
♪
294
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,997
Not even when skinner
got kicked in the face
295
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,916
At the krav maga assembly.
296
00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:16,169
So be happy for his happiness.
297
00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:18,171
♪
298
00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:22,634
[laughs]
so, maisie,
299
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:25,887
Tell me more about
your fairy-tale romance.
300
00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:28,598
You're like two shreks
in a swamp.
301
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,308
Aw, it's the same old story.
302
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,852
Numpty meets bird,
they start to doggin',
303
00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:35,021
Get told each is deid,
then reunite
304
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:37,607
And pick right up again
with the hochmagandy.
305
00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:40,068
[laughs] that's so romantic.
306
00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:41,861
Unlike... Ugh.
307
00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:43,446
Hmm? Mmm.
308
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:46,449
You know what,
I'm making a toast.
309
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:48,159
Clink, clink, clink,
clink, clink.
310
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,911
-Shut up, everybody.
-Ah!
311
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:53,832
Look at these kids, so in love.
312
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,750
When homer and I
first got together,
313
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:56,918
We were the same.
314
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,420
We couldn't keep our hands
off each other.
315
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:03,550
Now we just spend every night
doom-scrolling our life away,
316
00:14:03,552 --> 00:14:07,637
And watching a squirrel surf
on the back of an alligator.
317
00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:10,265
Marge! Trashing our marriage
is something that should
318
00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:12,475
Only be done in the privacy
of our home.
319
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:15,478
And that's our romance
for the ages.
320
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:19,607
It began with a wild night
in a mini-golf windmill,
321
00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:22,735
And now... [blows raspberry]
322
00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:24,237
How can you say that?!
323
00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,197
This is the worst thing
that's ever happened
324
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,700
In the beheading room
of this castle.
325
00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:36,833
Bart, I want to thank you
for bringing me back to maisie.
326
00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:39,127
I've never been so happy.
327
00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:41,129
You know, I think I get it.
328
00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:43,256
Good lad.
That's why I'm giving you
329
00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:45,842
A very important role
in the wedding.
330
00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:48,678
You're going to lead the dance.
331
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,847
Ooh, a spikey american.
332
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:52,599
[country music plays]
333
00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:58,396
No! Men don't let men down!
334
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,564
[straining]
335
00:15:02,319 --> 00:15:03,693
Our cake.
336
00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:06,988
Now what will you shove
in my gob?
337
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:09,198
[sobbing]
338
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:13,536
You wee bastard.
339
00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:15,496
You ruined my wedding.
340
00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:16,539
Good.
341
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,249
That's the only friend
342
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,542
That you made in america?
343
00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:20,585
Aye.
344
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:27,884
Oh, my head.
Homie, what do you take
345
00:15:27,886 --> 00:15:30,720
For a hangover? Huh?
346
00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:33,431
Oh, fine, be that way.
347
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:36,434
For once, I'm the one
who spoke truth while drunk.
348
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:40,897
Oh-oh. Running away
from a fight, huh?!
349
00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:43,566
Well, I'm still mad at you!
350
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,193
Well, I'm still mad at you!
351
00:15:45,195 --> 00:15:48,071
You told everyone that
I don't care about romance,
352
00:15:48,073 --> 00:15:50,949
And now they think
homer simpson is vanilla
353
00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:52,283
In the sack!
354
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:55,662
[echoing]
homer simpson is vanilla
in the sack!
355
00:15:55,664 --> 00:15:57,080
Vanilla in the sack!
356
00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:58,706
Vanilla
in the sack!
357
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,375
Vanilla in the sack!
358
00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:02,460
Bad at sex!
359
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:08,091
I can't believe I ever
looked up to that guy.
360
00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:09,759
Stupid willie.
361
00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:12,095
[man cackling]
362
00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:13,846
Stupid willie.
363
00:16:13,848 --> 00:16:16,474
That nobody thinks
he can be a macweldon?
364
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,977
Ha! All he's good for
is his nose.
365
00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:21,646
Once they're married,
willie will sniff out
366
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,440
A mother lode of good peat.
367
00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:26,150
And then he's out!
368
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,860
And then maisie can find
a proper husband,
369
00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:29,779
Not some floor-waxing
puke-mopper.
370
00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:31,406
[sinister laughter]
371
00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:34,117
This whole thing was a setup
to use willie?
372
00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:36,411
That girl doesn't even love him?
373
00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:39,330
Why would you do that
to my friend?
374
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,000
Wee sleekit cowerin'
timerous beasties
375
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:46,963
Shouldn't stick their nebs
in other people's bizzo.
376
00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:50,008
I have no idea
what you just said.
377
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,592
B-but I get the context.
378
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,469
[both grunt]
379
00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:54,429
Let me out!
380
00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:56,597
Oh, no, you're staying
right here
381
00:16:56,599 --> 00:17:00,435
With your only entertainment,
this cribbage board.
382
00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:03,229
[laughs]
383
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:07,233
Hey, where are the pegs?
384
00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:09,902
Oh, they're in this
little drawer.
385
00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:12,989
[organ playing]
386
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:18,536
[marge] homer would never get how sweet this is.
387
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:22,373
How'd I wind up with the most unromantic man on earth?
388
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,167
[phone chimes]
389
00:17:24,169 --> 00:17:27,253
Why is he texting me during a wedding?
390
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:30,089
Hmm?
391
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,428
[laughing]
392
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:38,765
They shouldn't be together,
but they are.
393
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:40,433
[gasps]
394
00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:42,268
Oh...
395
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:44,729
[panting]
396
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,064
[gasps]
397
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,941
Homer!
398
00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:50,443
Marge!
399
00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:54,072
Did you get my
gorilla-dolphin video?
400
00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:57,784
It was so unlikely,
just like us.
401
00:17:57,786 --> 00:18:00,203
That's why I sent it to you!
402
00:18:00,205 --> 00:18:02,705
I'm sorry I trashed our marriage
403
00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:04,707
In a rehearsal dinner toast.
404
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:09,003
I'm sorry I was such a downer
about this destination wedding.
405
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,589
I should have just pretended
to go along with it,
406
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:14,884
Like I do with everything else
in our marriage.
407
00:18:14,886 --> 00:18:17,178
♪
408
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,557
I don't care if our
romance began
409
00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:24,352
When we did it
on a mini-golf course.
410
00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:26,104
It's still epic.
411
00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:28,815
How epic would it be
if we did it on
412
00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:32,443
The best golf course
in the world?
413
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,905
You are so romantic.
414
00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:39,325
Fore... Play.
415
00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:41,369
[both moaning]
416
00:18:44,207 --> 00:18:45,998
I gotta get out of here
and warn willie
417
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,501
That girl's just marrying him
for his nose.
418
00:18:48,503 --> 00:18:49,585
[groans]
419
00:18:53,508 --> 00:18:56,634
Birdseed bags,
soap with willie's face on it,
420
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:57,885
Sleep masks.
421
00:18:57,887 --> 00:18:59,470
Aha.
422
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:03,850
I, groundskeeper willie,
take you, booze-maker maisie...
423
00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:04,934
[bart]
stop the wedding.
424
00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:06,185
Stop the wedding!
425
00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:08,104
-[people gasping]
-what are you doing, boy?
426
00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:10,356
Why don't you want willie
to be happy?
427
00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:12,233
[grunts] I do!
428
00:19:12,235 --> 00:19:13,901
This girl doesn't love you.
429
00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:15,987
Her family only brought you here
430
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:17,864
For your peat sniffing.
431
00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:21,701
Pa, hamish, owen,
can this be true?
432
00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:23,286
Of course it's true.
433
00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:25,163
You're just a nose to us.
434
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:26,998
We've got to compete with
435
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,458
All these celebrity
booze brands.
436
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:32,545
From your tall, dark clooneys
to your wee danny devitos,
437
00:19:32,547 --> 00:19:36,215
There's no room for a passable
entry-level scotch.
438
00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:39,260
William, I didn't know about
any of this.
439
00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:42,930
I swear, I'd love you
even if you never sniffed
440
00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:45,266
Another bog
as long as you lived.
441
00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:47,852
I wish I could believe you.
442
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,562
I'll prove it.
443
00:19:50,607 --> 00:19:51,731
-[shouts]
-[pained groan]
444
00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:53,191
[all gasp]
445
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:56,819
Ah, you broke my sniffer.
446
00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:58,613
You do love me.
447
00:19:58,615 --> 00:20:01,699
-Forever and a day. Ugh!
-Ow.
448
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:04,619
I'll never smell nothing again.
449
00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:05,995
[all] aww.
450
00:20:05,997 --> 00:20:08,122
I think I get it, lisa.
451
00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:10,082
I understand love now.
452
00:20:10,084 --> 00:20:11,500
[maisie shouts]
453
00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:16,714
Captioning sponsored by
20th century fox television
454
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,257
And fox broadcasting company
455
00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:19,800
And toyota.
456
00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:22,094
Captioned by
media access group at wgbh
access.Wgbh.Org
457
00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:28,309
♪ willie was a lonely guy ♪
458
00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:29,977
♪ cleaning out toilets ♪
459
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:32,021
♪ and sawdusting puke ♪
460
00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:35,107
♪ watching as his life went by ♪
461
00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:38,861
♪ his only friend was a ten-year-old boy ♪
462
00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:41,322
♪ maisie was a scottish lass ♪
463
00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:45,326
♪ thinking that her love was killed by a sheep ♪
464
00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:48,704
♪ 20 long years did pass ♪
465
00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:52,625
♪ then she saw him on a chinese social media app ♪
466
00:20:52,627 --> 00:20:56,212
♪ willie raced to scotland, simpsons had to follow ♪
467
00:20:56,214 --> 00:20:59,340
♪ destination wedding, homer full of sorrow ♪
468
00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:02,885
♪ bart was total raging, marge got mad at homer ♪
469
00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:06,639
♪ marge got really steaming, not affect the wedding ♪
470
00:21:06,641 --> 00:21:08,057
♪ made a drunken toast ♪
471
00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:10,226
♪ lisa loved the festival ♪
472
00:21:10,228 --> 00:21:11,894
♪ and you just saw it in this show ♪
473
00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:13,521
♪ and we all love the musical ♪
474
00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:15,273
♪ the wedding day turned out triumphant ♪
475
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,024
♪ this love song is redundant ♪
476
00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:19,694
♪ remember how it used to be ♪
477
00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:24,657
♪ when our love was young, many golden memories. ♪
478
00:21:28,663 --> 00:21:30,079
Shh!
34990
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