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1
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:08,828
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
5
00:01:44,364 --> 00:01:46,492
Get out there. Shake hands.
8
00:02:10,683 --> 00:02:11,934
Go meet his wife.
9
00:02:12,351 --> 00:02:14,854
I've been cooking all day.
I smell like onions.
11
00:02:30,870 --> 00:02:32,538
That's disgusting.
12
00:02:33,163 --> 00:02:34,206
And unsanitary.
13
00:02:34,331 --> 00:02:35,541
Keeps 'em warm all day long.
14
00:02:35,666 --> 00:02:36,876
Thanks for this back board.
15
00:02:37,001 --> 00:02:38,043
Pleasure doin'
business with you.
16
00:02:38,168 --> 00:02:39,879
5:00 a.m.
Breakfast time.
17
00:02:40,963 --> 00:02:42,965
So we need request forms for
next spring's non-perishables.
18
00:02:43,048 --> 00:02:44,550
Bring 'em tonight.
19
00:02:44,717 --> 00:02:46,218
Tori's getting out
in six weeks,
20
00:02:46,301 --> 00:02:48,554
so we gotta train someone
new on the feed slicer.
21
00:02:48,679 --> 00:02:49,847
Look into little Sara.
22
00:02:49,930 --> 00:02:51,598
Make sure she
never stabbed people.
23
00:02:51,765 --> 00:02:54,393
And Betty's been acting up again.
The bitch is gonna fuck us.
24
00:02:54,518 --> 00:02:55,811
A little patience.
25
00:02:55,895 --> 00:02:58,313
She's been here a lot of years.
I'll deal with her.
26
00:02:59,356 --> 00:03:00,399
The blondie?
27
00:03:00,524 --> 00:03:01,859
Yes. She's going nuts.
28
00:03:01,942 --> 00:03:03,109
That one's a light touch.
29
00:03:03,235 --> 00:03:04,796
Well, you did serve
her a bloody tampon.
30
00:03:04,862 --> 00:03:06,572
Yeah. Heh.
31
00:03:06,989 --> 00:03:08,198
I'm proud of that one.
32
00:03:09,783 --> 00:03:11,744
I have to go to another prison.
33
00:03:12,369 --> 00:03:13,787
A different one.
34
00:03:13,913 --> 00:03:15,915
You have to move me.
35
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:18,876
Like this is the Radisson
and you don't like your room?
36
00:03:22,588 --> 00:03:23,672
Why?
37
00:03:23,797 --> 00:03:25,424
Why isn't this the Radisson?
38
00:03:25,507 --> 00:03:27,384
Why do you need to be moved?
39
00:03:30,094 --> 00:03:33,097
Did someone try
to engage with you sexually?
40
00:03:37,937 --> 00:03:39,730
Tell me what
happened out there.
41
00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:53,077
It's fine.
42
00:03:55,579 --> 00:03:57,122
I just freaked out.
43
00:03:58,457 --> 00:03:59,959
I'll be fine.
44
00:04:02,335 --> 00:04:03,336
I'm sure you will.
45
00:04:05,631 --> 00:04:08,133
You're gonna be
late for orientation.
46
00:04:11,845 --> 00:04:13,847
Attention, ladies.
Remember the rules.
47
00:04:13,973 --> 00:04:15,975
- Hey, sorry I'm late.
- Sit down.
48
00:04:27,486 --> 00:04:28,570
That one's broke.
49
00:04:33,659 --> 00:04:34,660
Hi.
50
00:04:34,785 --> 00:04:37,913
Welcome to the Federal
Department of Corrections,
51
00:04:37,997 --> 00:04:39,498
where we strive
52
00:04:39,623 --> 00:04:44,670
to maintain facilities that are
secure, humane, and cost effective.
53
00:04:46,797 --> 00:04:49,382
Night school classes are
offered three nights a week.
54
00:04:49,508 --> 00:04:53,261
There are a variety of
recreational activities available
55
00:04:53,345 --> 00:04:56,974
and clinical visits are offered
at the inmates' request.
56
00:04:57,057 --> 00:05:01,394
But enough about policy. Let's
get to the important stuff.
57
00:05:04,314 --> 00:05:06,274
This is a piece of copper pipe.
58
00:05:06,358 --> 00:05:08,360
And it was taken
from the laundry room.
59
00:05:09,569 --> 00:05:10,654
It's hard.
60
00:05:11,196 --> 00:05:13,699
This was used
to break two ribs.
61
00:05:13,824 --> 00:05:16,284
Could also be used
to crack your skull,
62
00:05:16,368 --> 00:05:19,038
break your knee,
muss up your makeup.
63
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:22,499
Amongst other things.
64
00:05:23,959 --> 00:05:27,046
Suicidal thoughts will come.
Frequently.
65
00:05:27,129 --> 00:05:30,590
Some days, it'll feel like
there are no other thoughts.
66
00:05:30,716 --> 00:05:32,885
"Do it," they'll say.
67
00:05:33,343 --> 00:05:34,344
"End it."
68
00:05:35,554 --> 00:05:36,722
"Come on."
69
00:05:38,891 --> 00:05:42,394
You'll be assigned bunks soon.
Uniform issue is next week.
70
00:05:43,187 --> 00:05:45,397
State your correct
size on the form.
71
00:05:45,939 --> 00:05:47,482
No baggy hip-hop pants.
72
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:50,234
Yes, I'm lookin' at you.
73
00:05:52,905 --> 00:05:57,617
Plastic toothbrush with a
razor-blade melted right into it.
74
00:06:05,918 --> 00:06:07,878
Yeah, probably shouldn't
have showed you that one.
75
00:06:08,712 --> 00:06:10,630
The women who made
and used these items
76
00:06:10,756 --> 00:06:13,884
are now in the SHU
or down at the max facility
77
00:06:13,967 --> 00:06:17,429
with added sentences. Their
lives are basically over.
78
00:06:18,222 --> 00:06:19,765
Hello, ladies.
79
00:06:20,473 --> 00:06:21,850
I am Natalie Figueroa.
80
00:06:21,934 --> 00:06:24,228
I am the Executive
Assistant to the warden.
81
00:06:24,310 --> 00:06:26,270
I try and visit often.
82
00:06:26,396 --> 00:06:27,898
If you have any concerns,
83
00:06:27,981 --> 00:06:30,150
specifically regarding
your needs as women,
84
00:06:30,274 --> 00:06:33,445
please come to me.
I will handle them personally.
85
00:06:35,447 --> 00:06:36,782
Yeah, she will.
86
00:06:36,907 --> 00:06:38,784
I had a question, actually.
87
00:06:38,909 --> 00:06:40,827
Today I'm only
here as a formality.
88
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,002
Next.
89
00:06:51,421 --> 00:06:52,547
Next.
90
00:06:55,801 --> 00:06:56,802
Next.
91
00:06:56,927 --> 00:06:58,220
No. Wait.
92
00:06:59,679 --> 00:07:00,806
Next.
93
00:07:03,307 --> 00:07:04,434
Seriously?
94
00:07:06,561 --> 00:07:07,562
Next.
95
00:07:11,942 --> 00:07:12,985
Come on.
96
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:28,416
Dorm D, Dorm D,
laundry is ready for drop-off.
97
00:07:34,798 --> 00:07:35,841
Uh-uh.
98
00:07:36,675 --> 00:07:37,926
They're not letting me eat.
99
00:07:39,385 --> 00:07:41,138
That sounds like a whole
lot of your problem.
100
00:07:43,515 --> 00:07:45,851
We don't leave lunch
till lunch is over.
101
00:08:18,300 --> 00:08:19,551
Mmm-hmm.
102
00:08:20,135 --> 00:08:21,386
Uh-huh.
103
00:08:23,138 --> 00:08:25,265
Come sit with us.
Not with Crazy Eyes.
104
00:08:31,563 --> 00:08:32,731
Rough morning?
105
00:08:33,940 --> 00:08:35,025
Something like that.
106
00:08:35,108 --> 00:08:36,693
We should've
warned you about Red.
107
00:08:37,236 --> 00:08:41,240
Well, I just didn't expect to be
punished while I was getting punished.
108
00:08:43,367 --> 00:08:44,951
You gotta fix that.
Make it right.
109
00:08:45,077 --> 00:08:46,078
How?
110
00:08:46,245 --> 00:08:50,082
I find it best to
confront things head-on.
111
00:08:50,707 --> 00:08:53,168
Know what?
I'm just gonna apologize.
112
00:08:53,252 --> 00:08:56,255
I'm just gonna very
sincerely apologize.
113
00:08:56,338 --> 00:09:01,426
People make mistakes. People say
stupid things all the time.
114
00:09:01,593 --> 00:09:02,635
Uh-huh.
115
00:09:04,137 --> 00:09:05,638
She's gotta
understand that, right?
116
00:09:13,939 --> 00:09:15,357
Check this shit out.
117
00:09:23,407 --> 00:09:24,449
Who are you?
118
00:09:24,574 --> 00:09:26,201
Her daughter. Who are you?
119
00:09:26,326 --> 00:09:27,452
Her daughter.
120
00:09:36,669 --> 00:09:38,964
What's the matter, you
don't wanna hit me again?
121
00:09:39,047 --> 00:09:41,549
From here on out, this
place will hit you for me.
122
00:09:46,930 --> 00:09:50,267
This orange thing,
it's like, I glow in the dark.
123
00:09:50,350 --> 00:09:52,311
The guard with the mustache
keeps staring at me.
124
00:09:52,436 --> 00:09:53,979
Since when do you hate that?
125
00:09:58,608 --> 00:09:59,943
You got any extra khakis?
126
00:10:00,944 --> 00:10:04,156
No. Well, not in your size.
127
00:10:10,495 --> 00:10:14,374
And don't be in such a rush to
get out of that orange, sabes?
128
00:10:14,499 --> 00:10:17,294
Once you're in these,
you're old news.
129
00:10:23,258 --> 00:10:26,011
White girl said somethin'
nasty about Red's food,
130
00:10:26,094 --> 00:10:28,534
then Red sent her a message 'cause
white girl better recognize.
131
00:10:28,554 --> 00:10:29,514
A message?
132
00:10:29,639 --> 00:10:31,433
Egg McTampon. Rare.
133
00:10:31,516 --> 00:10:33,852
So now nobody's
givin' her nothin' to eat.
134
00:10:33,935 --> 00:10:35,354
Not until Red say so.
135
00:10:36,104 --> 00:10:37,356
That's...
136
00:10:38,564 --> 00:10:39,565
Thanks.
137
00:10:39,691 --> 00:10:41,609
This ain't gonna get
Red in trouble, right?
138
00:10:41,693 --> 00:10:42,902
'Cause I ain't no snitch.
139
00:10:43,028 --> 00:10:46,239
No. Of course not.
I mean, probably not.
140
00:10:47,491 --> 00:10:48,700
I haven't decided yet.
141
00:10:49,575 --> 00:10:50,576
Hold up.
142
00:10:52,954 --> 00:10:54,039
Where my candy?
143
00:11:12,891 --> 00:11:14,558
Get me another towel.
144
00:11:26,863 --> 00:11:28,073
Is this a bad time?
145
00:11:28,156 --> 00:11:29,157
Moment.
146
00:11:43,422 --> 00:11:45,549
About what I said yesterday?
147
00:11:45,673 --> 00:11:50,345
It was careless and it was rude.
And I am really sorry.
148
00:11:51,595 --> 00:11:54,099
I appreciate everything
that you do here,
149
00:11:54,182 --> 00:11:56,435
I can't imagine how
much work it takes,
150
00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:59,438
and since we're clearly gonna be
spending some time together...
151
00:11:59,603 --> 00:12:01,773
Don't forget the toes, Norma.
152
00:12:05,068 --> 00:12:11,741
I can tell you take pride in what
you do, and I so respect that.
153
00:12:12,325 --> 00:12:14,077
If someone insulted my work...
154
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:16,204
What is it, your work?
155
00:12:16,371 --> 00:12:17,372
Oh.
156
00:12:17,456 --> 00:12:20,875
Um, I make artisanal bath products.
We got into Barneys.
157
00:12:22,377 --> 00:12:23,962
Artisanal?
158
00:12:24,463 --> 00:12:27,215
I'm just saying we're not that
different, you and I. That's all.
159
00:12:29,301 --> 00:12:32,387
And I understand
how stupid I've been.
160
00:12:33,763 --> 00:12:35,223
I really apologize.
161
00:12:37,601 --> 00:12:38,768
I'm sorry.
162
00:12:48,861 --> 00:12:50,196
You seem sweet.
163
00:12:53,325 --> 00:12:54,993
You really do, honey.
164
00:12:58,662 --> 00:13:01,458
But I can't do shit
with "I'm sorry."
165
00:13:02,375 --> 00:13:03,585
Not in here.
166
00:13:05,837 --> 00:13:07,506
Might not look like it,
167
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:10,008
but there's rules
in this place.
168
00:13:10,967 --> 00:13:13,094
The most important of which is,
169
00:13:13,845 --> 00:13:16,722
the second you're
perceived as weak,
170
00:13:17,349 --> 00:13:19,142
you already are.
171
00:13:23,021 --> 00:13:24,564
What do you want me to do?
172
00:13:25,106 --> 00:13:26,858
You're a smart girl.
173
00:13:38,537 --> 00:13:40,205
Figure something out.
174
00:13:46,294 --> 00:13:48,505
That girl got some nice legs.
175
00:13:52,967 --> 00:13:54,135
What the fuck is this?
176
00:13:54,969 --> 00:13:57,222
Oh, it's my treat I'm savin'.
Just leave it.
177
00:13:58,097 --> 00:13:59,224
Leave it?
178
00:13:59,723 --> 00:14:00,975
Fuck leave it.
179
00:14:01,059 --> 00:14:03,353
You can't put your sticky
ice cream shit in here.
180
00:14:03,436 --> 00:14:06,565
It ain't just an ice cream.
It's a King Cone.
181
00:14:07,857 --> 00:14:08,941
Man!
182
00:14:09,067 --> 00:14:10,068
Get off me, girl!
183
00:14:14,406 --> 00:14:15,615
Get this bitch off of me!
184
00:14:28,670 --> 00:14:30,589
B fucking took my hair out!
185
00:14:32,549 --> 00:14:34,842
B Dorm, Itza Martinez...
186
00:14:34,926 --> 00:14:37,178
Please tell me y'all ain't
fighting over ice cream.
187
00:14:38,263 --> 00:14:39,305
King Cone.
188
00:15:09,294 --> 00:15:10,462
You okay, Chapman?
189
00:15:12,672 --> 00:15:13,798
Yeah.
190
00:15:15,133 --> 00:15:16,593
You know,
I'd give you a pretzel
191
00:15:16,676 --> 00:15:18,477
but the walls have eyes,
and I'm not retarded.
192
00:15:22,557 --> 00:15:26,811
When I first got here,
I had troubles like you.
193
00:15:28,271 --> 00:15:30,649
There was a disagreement.
194
00:15:31,899 --> 00:15:33,526
Then we brawled.
195
00:15:34,152 --> 00:15:36,446
That's how you settled things.
196
00:15:37,071 --> 00:15:38,490
And if I'd have won,
197
00:15:39,073 --> 00:15:41,618
I'd have been la jefa.
198
00:15:41,701 --> 00:15:43,328
Instead of this.
199
00:15:44,996 --> 00:15:47,582
Thank God I got cancer.
200
00:15:48,249 --> 00:15:50,918
No one fucks with cancer.
201
00:15:56,341 --> 00:15:57,842
Good talk.
202
00:15:59,844 --> 00:16:01,137
Fuck!
203
00:16:17,696 --> 00:16:19,572
So it's nothing but lemonade?
204
00:16:20,114 --> 00:16:21,282
It's a cleanse.
205
00:16:21,366 --> 00:16:24,369
No vegetable juice? Fiber?
206
00:16:24,536 --> 00:16:26,954
We are going to deny
ourselves sustenance
207
00:16:27,038 --> 00:16:30,500
while there are people
that starve in Kinshasa?
208
00:16:33,545 --> 00:16:35,087
It's racist to
just say "Africa."
209
00:16:36,214 --> 00:16:37,632
You put cayenne pepper in this?
210
00:16:37,716 --> 00:16:41,052
Yes! Yes.
It flushes out toxins.
211
00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:45,390
We don't smoke,
we don't snort crack.
212
00:16:46,974 --> 00:16:49,310
Honey, don't you think the little
rocks would hurt your nose
213
00:16:49,394 --> 00:16:51,020
if you tried to snort crack?
214
00:16:51,563 --> 00:16:52,564
I think you mean coke.
215
00:16:52,689 --> 00:16:54,023
You know what I mean.
216
00:16:54,106 --> 00:16:57,068
You know, you don't let me buy
food unless it's locally-grown,
217
00:16:57,193 --> 00:16:59,195
grass-fed, conflict-free...
218
00:16:59,278 --> 00:17:01,239
I'm perfectly fine
doing this on my own.
219
00:17:01,447 --> 00:17:03,527
No. No, no, no, no. Honey,
that's not what I'm saying.
220
00:17:03,575 --> 00:17:05,368
- You're making fun of it.
- No. I'm just...
221
00:17:05,451 --> 00:17:06,703
When you said cleanse,
222
00:17:06,786 --> 00:17:08,872
I thought you meant
we'd be eating more kale.
223
00:17:08,996 --> 00:17:11,708
We can eat more kale when we're
transitioning back to food.
224
00:17:11,833 --> 00:17:12,834
Okay.
225
00:17:13,459 --> 00:17:15,044
What about dinners out?
226
00:17:16,421 --> 00:17:17,630
Weekend brunches?
227
00:17:17,756 --> 00:17:20,007
I mean, isn't this gonna
turn us into anti-social losers?
228
00:17:20,216 --> 00:17:23,428
Well, it doesn't have to.
229
00:17:28,391 --> 00:17:34,606
I'm not gonna be the guy that shows
up with his lemonade cuppie.
230
00:17:37,233 --> 00:17:39,611
Okay. Okay.
231
00:17:39,861 --> 00:17:43,448
For me, this is it
for the next seven days.
232
00:17:44,783 --> 00:17:47,993
If you wanna back out, I'm
not gonna love you any less.
233
00:17:48,787 --> 00:17:50,663
We did say that we were
gonna do it together.
234
00:17:50,789 --> 00:17:53,875
But if you don't
wanna be "that guy,"
235
00:17:53,958 --> 00:17:58,212
I'm perfectly happy
doing it on my own.
236
00:18:06,053 --> 00:18:07,346
Well, where's the fun in that?
237
00:18:07,513 --> 00:18:09,599
See?
238
00:18:15,313 --> 00:18:16,898
Oh, God.
239
00:18:18,650 --> 00:18:20,693
Number four,
on the left. Next!
240
00:18:29,327 --> 00:18:30,787
Turn around.
241
00:18:32,330 --> 00:18:33,915
Hold it right there.
242
00:18:37,669 --> 00:18:38,670
Next!
243
00:18:38,753 --> 00:18:40,505
Oh, look, it's the fiance.
244
00:18:41,297 --> 00:18:42,423
Put your bag down, please.
245
00:18:42,507 --> 00:18:43,549
I should be on the list.
246
00:18:43,883 --> 00:18:46,511
And I should be on American Idol,
but I can't sing for shit.
247
00:18:50,682 --> 00:18:52,141
No Larry Bloom here.
248
00:18:52,308 --> 00:18:53,392
What?
249
00:18:57,522 --> 00:18:58,857
Oh, this is from last week.
250
00:19:01,818 --> 00:19:03,152
Where's this week's?
251
00:19:03,235 --> 00:19:04,988
In another office.
252
00:19:21,045 --> 00:19:22,087
Have a seat.
253
00:19:22,213 --> 00:19:25,383
When in the visitation
room, you're allowed two hugs,
254
00:19:25,717 --> 00:19:28,344
one on arrival,
and one on departure.
255
00:19:52,410 --> 00:19:54,662
Okay, try not to crowd around, ladies.
Come on, now.
256
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:57,707
- Thank you.
- Itza Martinez again...
257
00:19:57,790 --> 00:19:59,166
Thank you.
258
00:20:04,547 --> 00:20:05,757
Can I have some gum?
259
00:20:06,925 --> 00:20:10,469
Sorry. Can't do that.
Inmates aren't allowed.
260
00:20:10,595 --> 00:20:12,638
I get it. You can't
give special treatment.
261
00:20:13,264 --> 00:20:15,058
It'd look funny.
Like I liked you.
262
00:20:17,268 --> 00:20:18,310
Don't you?
263
00:20:27,779 --> 00:20:29,280
Oh, my God, honey!
264
00:20:29,363 --> 00:20:30,782
- Oh, baby. Hey!
- Hi.
265
00:20:30,907 --> 00:20:32,199
- Honey. Oh!
- Hi.
266
00:20:32,324 --> 00:20:33,492
That's enough.
267
00:20:35,411 --> 00:20:36,454
Sorry. I'm so sorry I'm late.
268
00:20:36,537 --> 00:20:37,538
No. It's fine.
269
00:20:37,622 --> 00:20:38,623
I swear I was here,
270
00:20:38,748 --> 00:20:40,416
but I think they were, like,
deliberately fucking with me.
271
00:20:40,499 --> 00:20:42,585
No, whatever, it's fine.
You're here. Oh!
272
00:20:42,710 --> 00:20:43,753
You look great!
273
00:20:43,836 --> 00:20:44,921
I mean, who knew
you could rock orange?
274
00:20:45,004 --> 00:20:46,005
Please. Come on!
275
00:20:46,130 --> 00:20:47,131
Seriously,
276
00:20:47,214 --> 00:20:49,300
and your face is
like all cheekboney.
277
00:20:49,467 --> 00:20:52,720
Well, I haven't
eaten since Wednesday.
278
00:20:52,804 --> 00:20:53,805
What?
279
00:20:54,430 --> 00:20:55,598
She's
starving me out.
280
00:20:55,681 --> 00:20:56,808
Who?
281
00:20:59,268 --> 00:21:00,645
Oh, my God.
282
00:21:01,437 --> 00:21:02,438
Do you have any change?
283
00:21:03,230 --> 00:21:06,275
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think so.
What do you want?
284
00:21:06,484 --> 00:21:09,153
Literally anything. Go.
285
00:21:20,873 --> 00:21:21,916
No.
286
00:21:22,875 --> 00:21:24,075
I don't think they work, honey.
287
00:21:24,168 --> 00:21:25,210
No.
288
00:21:27,005 --> 00:21:28,131
No! No.
289
00:21:28,213 --> 00:21:30,925
Inmate, step away
from the machine.
290
00:21:31,634 --> 00:21:32,755
He just called you "inmate."
291
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,553
- You too, sir.
- Sorry.
292
00:21:36,681 --> 00:21:38,016
This is her.
She did this.
293
00:21:38,099 --> 00:21:39,350
Who? Who are you
talking about?
294
00:21:39,433 --> 00:21:41,102
The woman who runs the kitchen.
295
00:21:41,185 --> 00:21:42,854
What? Why are we whispering?
296
00:21:43,813 --> 00:21:46,607
She's starving me out.
I insulted the food.
297
00:21:46,691 --> 00:21:48,026
Oh, Piper.
298
00:21:48,609 --> 00:21:50,028
Your foot in mouth disease?
299
00:21:50,111 --> 00:21:51,821
I'm an idiot.
300
00:21:51,904 --> 00:21:54,032
She's issued
a fucking fatwa against me.
301
00:21:56,617 --> 00:21:58,017
I think I'm gonna
have to fight her.
302
00:21:58,077 --> 00:21:59,078
What?
303
00:21:59,203 --> 00:22:01,455
How am I supposed to
prison-fight an old Russian lady
304
00:22:01,539 --> 00:22:03,332
with back problems?
305
00:22:03,415 --> 00:22:06,251
Hey, Piper, come on. You're not.
That's ridiculous.
306
00:22:06,377 --> 00:22:10,173
You don't have to fight anybody. Okay?
Hey, hey, hey, stop. Stop.
307
00:22:10,297 --> 00:22:11,382
No touching.
308
00:22:11,549 --> 00:22:12,717
Jesus.
309
00:22:13,676 --> 00:22:15,678
- It's gonna be okay.
- Mmm.
310
00:22:16,054 --> 00:22:17,055
- All right?
- Uh-uh.
311
00:22:17,221 --> 00:22:18,701
Your commissary
money's coming, right?
312
00:22:18,764 --> 00:22:21,475
I sent the check
the minute I left here.
313
00:22:21,559 --> 00:22:22,601
Express mail.
314
00:22:23,019 --> 00:22:24,699
Even if you have to
live off Snickers bars,
315
00:22:24,729 --> 00:22:26,229
it's gonna be okay.
316
00:22:32,987 --> 00:22:34,655
I hate that you're
seeing me like this.
317
00:22:35,573 --> 00:22:36,782
At least I get to see you.
318
00:22:40,411 --> 00:22:42,163
Tell me that you're
not watching Mad Men.
319
00:22:42,245 --> 00:22:43,246
What?
320
00:22:43,706 --> 00:22:45,875
Promise me you're not
watching Mad Men without me,
321
00:22:45,958 --> 00:22:49,336
that when I get out of here, we're
gonna binge watch it, together,
322
00:22:49,420 --> 00:22:51,589
in bed, with take-out from...
323
00:22:51,672 --> 00:22:52,924
Gertie's?
324
00:22:53,049 --> 00:22:54,299
Yes. Yes.
325
00:22:54,425 --> 00:22:56,385
Yes. Of course. 100%.
326
00:22:58,261 --> 00:23:00,806
Visiting hours
have come to a close.
327
00:23:00,932 --> 00:23:03,475
Jesus. Really?
That was like two minutes.
328
00:23:03,601 --> 00:23:05,770
Visitors, please make
your way to the exit.
329
00:23:06,104 --> 00:23:07,105
We can hug again.
330
00:23:07,230 --> 00:23:08,271
What?
331
00:23:08,397 --> 00:23:09,690
Once coming in, once going out.
332
00:23:10,066 --> 00:23:11,234
Come here.
333
00:23:12,526 --> 00:23:13,611
Oh!
334
00:23:15,238 --> 00:23:16,321
I love you, babe.
335
00:23:56,112 --> 00:23:57,280
Sorry.
336
00:24:08,833 --> 00:24:10,084
Red?
337
00:24:11,294 --> 00:24:12,335
Red?
338
00:24:16,966 --> 00:24:17,967
What is it?
339
00:24:19,635 --> 00:24:20,886
Betty's dead.
340
00:24:27,268 --> 00:24:29,103
She was a good girl.
341
00:24:29,187 --> 00:24:30,688
No one heard her go.
342
00:24:31,354 --> 00:24:32,815
Get over it.
It's a freezer.
343
00:24:33,983 --> 00:24:37,360
See, what happened here was a
breach in the main coolant line.
344
00:24:37,528 --> 00:24:39,030
Big, nasty breach.
345
00:24:39,362 --> 00:24:41,032
Ugly breach.
Bad, bad breach.
346
00:24:41,157 --> 00:24:42,616
What's that smell?
347
00:24:43,201 --> 00:24:44,285
That's the Freon.
348
00:24:44,952 --> 00:24:46,745
Some people use it for huffing.
349
00:24:47,163 --> 00:24:49,248
Makes for a super intense,
but short-lived high.
350
00:24:49,372 --> 00:24:52,877
Similar to crack, uh,
but without the migraines.
351
00:24:55,546 --> 00:24:58,299
Put those in ice water.
Don't stack those, Gina.
352
00:24:59,550 --> 00:25:00,718
Nice pussy.
353
00:25:00,926 --> 00:25:01,969
Don't ask.
354
00:25:02,053 --> 00:25:03,721
I don't intend to.
355
00:25:03,929 --> 00:25:05,730
Thanksgiving's coming twice
this year, ladies.
356
00:25:05,848 --> 00:25:07,432
Spread the word.
357
00:25:09,185 --> 00:25:12,146
Okay, I understand
what you have to do.
358
00:25:12,230 --> 00:25:13,522
What?
359
00:25:13,647 --> 00:25:15,107
I'm not a fighter.
360
00:25:15,816 --> 00:25:16,859
Go ahead.
361
00:25:16,942 --> 00:25:18,319
I'm a little busy here.
Pick up those rags.
362
00:25:18,401 --> 00:25:19,561
I'm not going to swing first.
363
00:25:19,570 --> 00:25:20,612
Good.
364
00:25:20,738 --> 00:25:22,073
Just hit me and
get it over with.
365
00:25:22,198 --> 00:25:23,490
I said I'm a little busy.
366
00:25:23,574 --> 00:25:24,950
I'm not leaving
until you do it.
367
00:25:25,910 --> 00:25:27,578
Wow.
368
00:25:28,913 --> 00:25:30,248
You want me to hit you?
369
00:25:30,373 --> 00:25:31,582
Yeah.
370
00:25:31,665 --> 00:25:33,416
Okay, get ready.
371
00:25:37,088 --> 00:25:40,007
You called my food disgusting.
372
00:25:44,178 --> 00:25:48,515
You're not getting hazed,
you're not getting harassed,
373
00:25:50,559 --> 00:25:52,019
you're getting starved.
374
00:25:53,354 --> 00:25:54,855
To death.
375
00:25:54,939 --> 00:25:58,943
You'll leave Litchfield
as a skeleton in a body bag.
376
00:25:59,777 --> 00:26:00,819
Pow!
377
00:26:01,820 --> 00:26:05,116
Now, march your yuppie ass
outta my kitchen.
378
00:26:09,870 --> 00:26:13,124
Slowly, so you don't burn
too many calories.
379
00:26:16,294 --> 00:26:19,046
So the third time,
same thing happens.
380
00:26:19,130 --> 00:26:21,882
And the farmer looks at his
wife, then back at the penguin,
381
00:26:21,966 --> 00:26:24,885
and finally the penguin goes,
382
00:26:27,305 --> 00:26:31,642
"He's not an eggplant, man.
He's retarded."
383
00:26:35,020 --> 00:26:36,314
You get it? 'Cause he...
384
00:26:36,479 --> 00:26:37,480
We get it.
385
00:26:39,524 --> 00:26:42,027
My brother was retarded.
386
00:26:42,569 --> 00:26:43,988
Oh, so sorry to hear that.
387
00:26:46,365 --> 00:26:47,992
You know, my husband's
a little slow.
388
00:26:48,826 --> 00:26:50,286
Says he was dropped on his head
389
00:26:50,369 --> 00:26:52,330
when he was born.
Just my luck.
390
00:26:52,455 --> 00:26:55,291
They couldn't have dropped
him on his dick?
391
00:26:55,749 --> 00:26:57,793
I think I slept
wrong last night.
392
00:26:57,876 --> 00:26:59,878
Should we call it
a short walk today, ladies?
393
00:27:00,004 --> 00:27:01,005
Yes.
394
00:27:01,088 --> 00:27:02,248
Oh, you barely broke a sweat.
395
00:27:02,673 --> 00:27:04,507
Oh, my son has
dentist appointment.
396
00:27:04,591 --> 00:27:05,676
Oh, okay.
397
00:27:05,801 --> 00:27:07,011
We're close to your house, no?
398
00:27:07,136 --> 00:27:08,262
Yeah. Right over there.
399
00:27:09,013 --> 00:27:10,222
Same time tomorrow?
400
00:27:10,348 --> 00:27:11,765
We'll let you know.
401
00:27:23,319 --> 00:27:24,445
Oh, shit!
402
00:27:26,822 --> 00:27:28,240
Did no one think
to turn this off?
403
00:27:39,542 --> 00:27:40,627
Where is his highness?
404
00:27:43,297 --> 00:27:44,340
You're out of bounds.
405
00:27:44,423 --> 00:27:46,133
- Healy?
- Sir, I told her not to...
406
00:27:46,217 --> 00:27:48,052
Jesus Christ!
407
00:27:48,260 --> 00:27:49,552
I need a new freezer.
408
00:27:50,221 --> 00:27:51,972
We can talk about
this later, Red.
409
00:27:52,056 --> 00:27:54,308
You have been saying
that for three years.
410
00:27:55,059 --> 00:27:57,220
We're dealing with a very
serious budget situation here.
411
00:27:57,853 --> 00:27:59,021
Should I subdue the inmate?
412
00:27:59,104 --> 00:28:03,275
The warden has been very clear
about spending this quarter.
413
00:28:04,235 --> 00:28:07,321
You want me to walk?
I'll walk, happily.
414
00:28:08,739 --> 00:28:11,574
Remember the last time I gave
back the keys to the kitchen?
415
00:28:12,659 --> 00:28:13,869
I'll see what I can do.
416
00:28:15,162 --> 00:28:16,497
Thank you.
417
00:28:20,084 --> 00:28:23,128
Ugh, like a dying animal
it smells in there.
418
00:28:23,254 --> 00:28:25,923
A dying animal, or just a
man who eats your food?
419
00:28:27,925 --> 00:28:29,385
Ugh with you, too.
420
00:28:31,594 --> 00:28:35,349
That smells fantastic.
It's like fresh muffins.
421
00:28:35,433 --> 00:28:36,892
Dried blueberries.
422
00:28:37,017 --> 00:28:38,810
Twelve fuckin' pounds of 'em.
423
00:28:39,186 --> 00:28:42,440
Funnest hobby ever.
You seen my headphones?
424
00:28:42,565 --> 00:28:43,566
Uh, left drawer.
425
00:28:43,732 --> 00:28:45,012
So you can put
anything in there?
426
00:28:45,067 --> 00:28:46,110
Just about.
427
00:28:46,277 --> 00:28:49,654
Peppermint, basil,
grapefruits, vanilla.
428
00:28:49,780 --> 00:28:50,739
She won't do chocolate.
429
00:28:50,822 --> 00:28:52,783
- It never works.
- Or popcorn.
430
00:28:52,866 --> 00:28:54,743
We're making soap,
not Jelly Bellys.
431
00:28:54,826 --> 00:28:55,994
Sweet.
432
00:28:56,828 --> 00:28:58,268
You know, for Amy,
I think you'd want
433
00:28:58,289 --> 00:28:59,623
something more along the lines
434
00:28:59,748 --> 00:29:03,377
of sage, patchouli,
maybe eucalyptus?
435
00:29:03,752 --> 00:29:05,670
Oh, she's allergic
to eucalyptus,
436
00:29:05,796 --> 00:29:07,672
or she hates it.
I can't remember.
437
00:29:07,798 --> 00:29:08,958
Really? Who hates eucalyptus?
438
00:29:08,966 --> 00:29:11,760
Larry's mother. She thinks
they're "dirty trees."
439
00:29:11,969 --> 00:29:13,050
You're still with that guy?
440
00:29:13,596 --> 00:29:14,763
Thought you wouldn't
make it two months.
441
00:29:14,846 --> 00:29:16,765
- Pete!
- What? You said so, too.
442
00:29:18,517 --> 00:29:19,810
They're moving in together.
443
00:29:19,893 --> 00:29:23,606
Already? Shit.
You are still a lesbian.
444
00:29:26,650 --> 00:29:27,901
- I'm out, ladies.
- Okay.
445
00:29:31,614 --> 00:29:33,616
You could sell these, you know.
446
00:29:35,033 --> 00:29:38,329
At farmers markets,
little boutique stores.
447
00:29:38,537 --> 00:29:39,913
I just kinda like making 'em.
448
00:29:41,248 --> 00:29:42,500
I could be your partner.
449
00:29:43,167 --> 00:29:44,168
What?
450
00:29:45,710 --> 00:29:47,588
This could be something.
451
00:29:47,671 --> 00:29:49,423
I mean, this could
be a thing, Pol.
452
00:29:50,591 --> 00:29:53,636
Market it right and package
it right, this is money.
453
00:29:53,802 --> 00:29:57,515
I mean, it smells
so fucking good in here.
454
00:29:58,349 --> 00:29:59,850
I can make this money.
455
00:30:00,434 --> 00:30:02,186
I make lotions, too.
456
00:30:06,064 --> 00:30:08,108
Yo, y'all got headphones
for movie night?
457
00:30:08,192 --> 00:30:09,943
Sold the last pair
this morning.
458
00:30:10,027 --> 00:30:13,447
That's some bullshit. I ain't
tryin' to watch no silent movie.
459
00:30:13,697 --> 00:30:15,157
Sold out. Next.
460
00:30:15,533 --> 00:30:19,328
Spanish ladies are calling you
La Llorona, the wailing lady.
461
00:30:20,663 --> 00:30:21,997
Well, they would've
screamed just as loud
462
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:23,915
if someone handed them
a used tampon sandwich.
463
00:30:24,041 --> 00:30:25,292
Oh, yeah.
464
00:30:25,876 --> 00:30:28,379
Or if they suddenly saw
an ex-girlfriend in prison.
465
00:30:28,504 --> 00:30:29,588
Hey, what's her name? Alex?
466
00:30:31,798 --> 00:30:32,883
What did she say to you?
467
00:30:33,050 --> 00:30:35,844
Not a word. I just know
dyke drama when I see it.
468
00:30:37,762 --> 00:30:39,056
You gonna
buy something or not?
469
00:30:39,181 --> 00:30:42,393
Yes. Hi, um, I should
have some credit here.
470
00:30:42,518 --> 00:30:45,729
My fiance sent
a check on Wednesday.
471
00:30:46,063 --> 00:30:48,106
Take seven day to process.
472
00:30:48,315 --> 00:30:50,395
You can use mine. It's not
like you're going anywhere.
473
00:30:50,442 --> 00:30:51,402
For food?
474
00:30:51,527 --> 00:30:52,528
Fuck no.
475
00:30:52,903 --> 00:30:53,945
Okay.
476
00:30:54,112 --> 00:30:55,239
Yo, Chang.
477
00:30:56,740 --> 00:30:58,116
So, some rubber gloves.
478
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:01,828
Okay, so maybe
some cocoa butter?
479
00:31:01,912 --> 00:31:02,954
Uh, cocoa butter?
480
00:31:03,997 --> 00:31:07,418
Maybe like a sieve of
some kind. A strainer?
481
00:31:07,626 --> 00:31:10,546
Okay. All right.
Yo, you got a strainer?
482
00:31:17,595 --> 00:31:20,389
This is a cup.
Knock yourself out.
483
00:31:21,806 --> 00:31:23,684
You know how often
I come by new weave?
484
00:31:23,767 --> 00:31:25,436
You probably gonna look
like this till Christmas.
485
00:31:25,519 --> 00:31:28,564
Uh-uh. I paid you seven bottles
of Pantene for this shit.
486
00:31:28,647 --> 00:31:31,525
Ain't my fault you went
all UFC over a King Cone.
487
00:31:31,734 --> 00:31:33,569
And if you call it
"shit" one more time,
488
00:31:33,736 --> 00:31:35,613
you can take your
ass down to Danita.
489
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:37,489
How much to fix it?
490
00:31:37,698 --> 00:31:38,990
- Mmm-hmm.
- Excuse me?
491
00:31:39,991 --> 00:31:42,786
Hi. I'm Chapman.
492
00:31:45,830 --> 00:31:47,916
Yeah, that's me. Um...
493
00:31:48,542 --> 00:31:51,086
I heard you might have
something that I need.
494
00:31:51,211 --> 00:31:53,171
J. Crew is around the corner.
495
00:31:54,715 --> 00:31:56,258
Yeah. Um...
496
00:31:57,050 --> 00:32:02,640
Cocoa butter, or shea butter?
Do you have either of those?
497
00:32:02,765 --> 00:32:04,182
Maybe.
498
00:32:04,308 --> 00:32:06,226
I would just need
an ounce or two.
499
00:32:06,810 --> 00:32:08,330
Ain't you the one
they're starving out?
500
00:32:09,563 --> 00:32:10,564
Yeah.
501
00:32:10,773 --> 00:32:13,484
You got some
fucked-up priorities.
502
00:32:13,609 --> 00:32:14,901
We work on
a barter system here.
503
00:32:14,985 --> 00:32:16,236
You know what
that means, right?
504
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:17,321
Yes.
505
00:32:17,446 --> 00:32:20,157
Three shower caps
or a round brush.
506
00:32:20,282 --> 00:32:21,562
Whichever they
got at commissary.
507
00:32:22,159 --> 00:32:25,454
Gladly. I will get them to you the
second that my money comes in.
508
00:32:27,831 --> 00:32:29,082
Credit declined.
509
00:32:29,625 --> 00:32:30,626
Please.
510
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:34,087
"Please" is for commissary
hoes and Oliver Twist.
511
00:32:35,922 --> 00:32:37,675
Hold up. Some of us
tryin' to work here.
512
00:32:37,758 --> 00:32:38,759
I got an idea.
513
00:32:40,385 --> 00:32:41,679
But you ain't gonna like it.
514
00:32:48,226 --> 00:32:50,187
Got that new 'do, Boo.
515
00:33:06,787 --> 00:33:08,372
Chapman's going around
asking for weird stuff, Red.
516
00:33:08,497 --> 00:33:09,540
What stuff?
517
00:33:09,623 --> 00:33:11,542
She's trying to get her
hands on hot peppers.
518
00:33:11,625 --> 00:33:12,835
You think she's gonna mace you?
519
00:33:12,917 --> 00:33:14,712
I don't think so.
520
00:33:14,795 --> 00:33:18,256
But if she does, worst case,
I'll get off my feet for a week.
521
00:33:18,382 --> 00:33:19,883
No, but it wouldn't
hurt your feet.
522
00:33:19,966 --> 00:33:21,926
- It's an expression.
- Mace burns your eyes.
523
00:33:22,052 --> 00:33:23,928
Jesus, God.
524
00:33:26,973 --> 00:33:28,016
Oh.
525
00:33:33,689 --> 00:33:34,981
You okay, Chapman?
526
00:33:38,235 --> 00:33:39,737
Tonight's movie will be
527
00:33:39,862 --> 00:33:42,113
the airplane edit
of Good Luck Chuck,
528
00:33:42,239 --> 00:33:45,784
which Roger Ebert
gives one star. 8:00 p.m.
529
00:33:45,868 --> 00:33:46,993
Are you the new girl?
530
00:33:48,746 --> 00:33:52,290
Yes, I am. Piper.
531
00:33:55,502 --> 00:33:57,254
And you are?
532
00:33:57,337 --> 00:34:01,966
Uh, Sue. It's short for Susie,
which is short for Suzanne.
533
00:34:02,259 --> 00:34:03,802
You
like spicy food?
534
00:34:07,097 --> 00:34:08,139
Sometimes.
535
00:34:08,265 --> 00:34:10,726
One of my girlfriends,
she was Mexican, real-talk.
536
00:34:11,643 --> 00:34:12,644
Uh...
537
00:34:12,770 --> 00:34:14,271
She gone now,
538
00:34:15,606 --> 00:34:17,566
but she left these.
539
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:25,719
I have nothing to
trade you for those.
540
00:34:25,783 --> 00:34:28,619
People forget we was
all new here once.
541
00:34:31,455 --> 00:34:33,039
It's good to know
you ain't alone.
542
00:34:47,971 --> 00:34:49,514
This feels awesome!
543
00:34:50,682 --> 00:34:53,101
My senses feel heightened,
I'm like a fucking werewolf.
544
00:34:53,184 --> 00:34:54,227
Larry?
545
00:34:54,352 --> 00:34:57,230
My skin is clear,
I'm lighter on my feet,
546
00:34:57,314 --> 00:34:58,482
and in the bathroom
this morning...
547
00:34:58,607 --> 00:34:59,566
Oh, please.
548
00:34:59,650 --> 00:35:03,320
Epic. Even better than yesterday.
Lord of the Rings.
549
00:35:07,324 --> 00:35:12,704
What if we only did
this for five days?
550
00:35:15,791 --> 00:35:17,125
You wanna cut it short?
551
00:35:17,835 --> 00:35:19,837
Not cut it short. Just...
552
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:23,006
Yes.
553
00:35:25,467 --> 00:35:27,218
This was your idea.
554
00:35:27,344 --> 00:35:29,680
Can we not make it a thing? This
doesn't have to be a thing.
555
00:35:29,805 --> 00:35:31,055
It's not a competition.
556
00:35:31,181 --> 00:35:32,933
I mean, you can't win
the Master Cleanse.
557
00:35:33,266 --> 00:35:34,518
Can't I?
558
00:35:35,769 --> 00:35:38,814
Here, drink up, love.
559
00:35:39,230 --> 00:35:40,607
All right?
560
00:35:41,024 --> 00:35:42,025
You'll feel better.
561
00:35:50,325 --> 00:35:51,368
What is that?
562
00:35:51,493 --> 00:35:53,036
You are not a werewolf.
563
00:35:53,119 --> 00:35:54,538
Oh.
564
00:35:55,622 --> 00:35:56,832
What are you doing?
565
00:35:57,582 --> 00:35:59,626
You fucker. Seriously?
566
00:36:00,585 --> 00:36:01,920
It was all that we had.
567
00:36:02,045 --> 00:36:04,589
Mr. Fox's Honey
Barbecue Pork Rinds?
568
00:36:04,715 --> 00:36:05,757
They're baked.
569
00:36:05,924 --> 00:36:08,010
Piper, we were
in this together.
570
00:36:08,092 --> 00:36:10,595
I know, I'm sorry.
571
00:36:12,014 --> 00:36:13,765
Oh, God.
572
00:36:17,060 --> 00:36:18,436
You smell so good.
573
00:36:20,522 --> 00:36:23,066
Oh, my God. Come here.
574
00:36:33,577 --> 00:36:34,786
I totally win.
575
00:36:38,623 --> 00:36:44,004
Two, nine and
seventeen, dinner is now available.
576
00:36:47,340 --> 00:36:48,383
Aw.
577
00:36:48,884 --> 00:36:50,928
Don't be so sad.
578
00:36:51,053 --> 00:36:53,013
Poor little baby.
579
00:36:55,557 --> 00:36:58,101
Dinner's in five.
I hear it's a big one.
580
00:36:58,226 --> 00:36:59,519
Yum, yum.
581
00:37:37,348 --> 00:37:39,267
Thank you, dead bitch.
582
00:37:39,350 --> 00:37:40,750
Don't forget, ladies,
583
00:37:40,769 --> 00:37:42,687
your usual meal
is 1,500 calories.
584
00:37:42,813 --> 00:37:44,106
Ain't nobody got this.
585
00:37:44,230 --> 00:37:45,565
- Beware of overeating.
- It's that hotness.
586
00:37:45,690 --> 00:37:47,067
That new shit.
587
00:37:47,150 --> 00:37:49,820
My hair is yellow as that
corn right there, girl.
588
00:37:53,197 --> 00:37:54,198
No, no, no.
Look, I love these things.
589
00:37:54,324 --> 00:37:55,325
I want extra.
590
00:37:55,408 --> 00:37:56,910
Yeah, can I get some more corn?
591
00:37:56,994 --> 00:37:58,286
No.
592
00:39:30,837 --> 00:39:34,007
Navi. Amy.
593
00:39:38,511 --> 00:39:40,430
Forgot I even had this.
594
00:39:41,514 --> 00:39:43,850
Oh, no thanks, love,
I'm too old for hooch.
595
00:39:43,934 --> 00:39:47,270
Don't insult me.
Single malt. 12 year.
596
00:39:52,776 --> 00:39:54,986
Jesus Christ!
597
00:39:55,112 --> 00:39:58,740
And that was in '04.
It's only gotten better.
598
00:39:58,823 --> 00:40:00,200
So have we.
599
00:40:00,283 --> 00:40:01,743
Tell my ass.
600
00:40:58,508 --> 00:40:59,884
Oh, no.
601
00:41:02,053 --> 00:41:03,680
It's the one without culture.
602
00:41:05,348 --> 00:41:06,390
Red.
603
00:41:06,516 --> 00:41:10,145
And the penguin goes, "He's not
an eggplant, he's retarded."
604
00:41:10,228 --> 00:41:11,604
It's fucking funny.
605
00:41:11,896 --> 00:41:12,856
It's just not.
606
00:41:14,024 --> 00:41:15,441
That awful dye job...
607
00:41:15,525 --> 00:41:17,235
on your head make
me giggle though.
608
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:18,361
You...
609
00:41:18,862 --> 00:41:19,904
Aah!
610
00:41:22,406 --> 00:41:24,868
You popped her tit!
611
00:41:24,993 --> 00:41:26,410
Oh, shit.
612
00:41:27,162 --> 00:41:31,166
What the fuck were you thinking?
After all Ganya's done for us.
613
00:41:31,749 --> 00:41:33,043
He loved those tits.
614
00:41:33,168 --> 00:41:35,378
He'll get them back. There's plenty
more of them at the tit store.
615
00:41:35,503 --> 00:41:38,381
Did you count to 10? You're
supposed to count to 10.
616
00:41:38,589 --> 00:41:40,550
I never even wanted to
speak to those pizdy!
617
00:41:40,633 --> 00:41:41,759
You made me.
618
00:41:42,052 --> 00:41:43,553
Why did you do such a thing?
619
00:41:43,678 --> 00:41:47,390
Because they left me out!
Because they made fun of me!
620
00:41:47,473 --> 00:41:50,977
Because no matter how hard you
try and how much we want it,
621
00:41:51,061 --> 00:41:52,687
there's the people
who serve the bread,
622
00:41:52,770 --> 00:41:54,314
and the people
who eat the bread!
623
00:41:54,397 --> 00:41:58,735
And for once, it would be nice
if you would be on my side.
627
00:42:21,591 --> 00:42:23,968
They want $60,000.
628
00:42:25,136 --> 00:42:28,306
No boob job costs $60,000.
629
00:42:28,431 --> 00:42:29,766
It's crazy.
630
00:42:29,849 --> 00:42:31,184
This one does.
631
00:42:33,103 --> 00:42:36,814
I was...
I was just...
632
00:42:38,691 --> 00:42:40,318
They're so mean.
633
00:42:40,735 --> 00:42:42,153
So are the men they married.
634
00:42:43,738 --> 00:42:45,156
They meaner.
635
00:42:48,201 --> 00:42:49,994
I'm sorry, Dima.
636
00:42:55,041 --> 00:42:57,460
We'll figure out something.
637
00:42:59,087 --> 00:43:00,380
We always do.
638
00:43:03,174 --> 00:43:04,342
It's okay.
639
00:43:12,725 --> 00:43:13,810
Red?
640
00:43:14,685 --> 00:43:15,728
She's busy.
641
00:43:15,853 --> 00:43:17,355
This'll only take a second.
642
00:43:22,777 --> 00:43:24,321
For your back.
643
00:43:24,654 --> 00:43:26,364
It's jalapeno rub.
644
00:43:26,656 --> 00:43:27,865
I made it myself.
645
00:43:30,827 --> 00:43:32,287
The capsaicin in the peppers
646
00:43:32,370 --> 00:43:34,090
creates heat which is good
for sore muscles,
647
00:43:34,164 --> 00:43:36,833
and the cocoa butter
is gentle on the skin.
648
00:43:39,585 --> 00:43:43,173
We have a similar product in our
line and my dad swears by it.
649
00:43:43,298 --> 00:43:44,507
He's got sciatica.
650
00:43:44,632 --> 00:43:46,592
These are wrong.
They should say "March."
651
00:43:48,928 --> 00:43:50,096
You can go now.
652
00:43:55,185 --> 00:43:58,229
Count time
starts now. Count time!
653
00:44:12,076 --> 00:44:13,286
Line it up. Stop the chatter.
654
00:44:19,417 --> 00:44:20,710
Count time!
655
00:44:26,257 --> 00:44:27,550
Dorm A, one through 20.
656
00:44:41,189 --> 00:44:42,629
Get that
garbage out of there.
657
00:44:47,278 --> 00:44:49,406
All good. Thank you, ladies.
658
00:44:57,414 --> 00:44:58,580
All good.
659
00:45:23,481 --> 00:45:26,484
Wilson into left field.
Beautiful hit.
660
00:45:27,235 --> 00:45:29,653
...eludes one tackler.
And he's brought down hard.
661
00:45:29,779 --> 00:45:31,573
"One imagines
somewhere in an attic
662
00:45:31,781 --> 00:45:34,242
"there's a painting of him
that's rapidly aging."
663
00:45:34,325 --> 00:45:36,160
For a guy from Ad Age,
he can really write.
664
00:45:36,327 --> 00:45:37,995
He also says
you're married.
665
00:45:38,204 --> 00:45:42,125
Jesus. He never asked me that.
Did he check any facts?
666
00:45:42,250 --> 00:45:43,960
You didn't
give him any facts.
667
00:45:44,085 --> 00:45:45,795
He had to make
some assumptions.
668
00:45:45,962 --> 00:45:49,924
My job is to write ads, not go
around talking about who I am.
669
00:45:50,049 --> 00:45:51,134
Who knows who you are?
670
00:45:51,217 --> 00:45:54,137
This was supposed to be
an advertisement for the firm.
671
00:45:54,262 --> 00:45:55,472
Why do you
have so many copies?
672
00:45:55,555 --> 00:45:56,722
I bought one to read.
673
00:45:56,806 --> 00:45:58,726
And I was going to buy one
to frame in reception.
674
00:45:59,641 --> 00:46:01,811
That new freezer
cost more than my car.
675
00:46:02,061 --> 00:46:04,063
Freon leak, huh?
676
00:46:04,147 --> 00:46:05,356
Most likely.
677
00:46:05,482 --> 00:46:09,319
You know, huffers, addicts.
Anything to get high.
678
00:46:10,570 --> 00:46:13,156
Anyone in here
huff that much Freon,
679
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:15,825
we'd have a body
to show for it.
680
00:46:19,621 --> 00:46:22,790
Even you gotta know
when you're gettin' played.
681
00:46:23,958 --> 00:46:26,961
Catholic, Buddhist,
Jewish and Muslim services
682
00:46:27,044 --> 00:46:30,006
will begin tomorrow
in the chapel at 9:00 a.m.
683
00:46:45,146 --> 00:46:46,856
They said to give you this.
684
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:53,363
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, it worked?
685
00:46:53,488 --> 00:46:55,615
It must've worked.
686
00:46:55,697 --> 00:46:57,659
- Your back cream?
- Yeah.
687
00:46:57,741 --> 00:46:59,994
She said it burned, it made her
smell like a Puerto Rican,
688
00:47:00,077 --> 00:47:01,162
but you're good now.
689
00:47:01,245 --> 00:47:04,207
Everyone saw how hard you worked.
"A" for Effort.
690
00:47:06,543 --> 00:47:07,585
Mmm.
691
00:47:09,753 --> 00:47:11,922
It's not that good.
692
00:47:12,048 --> 00:47:13,299
Mmm-hmm.
693
00:47:17,554 --> 00:47:19,389
- Next.
- Thank you.
694
00:47:29,899 --> 00:47:31,150
Next.
695
00:47:32,818 --> 00:47:33,903
What?
696
00:47:34,945 --> 00:47:36,072
Next.
697
00:47:50,336 --> 00:47:51,504
Hello?
698
00:48:06,185 --> 00:48:07,186
Put that in.
701
00:48:19,699 --> 00:48:21,498
This will make things
right for us.
702
00:48:21,618 --> 00:48:23,119
This doesn't feel right.
703
00:48:26,706 --> 00:48:28,750
We're fine.
We'll work it out.
704
00:48:29,959 --> 00:48:31,085
I promise.
705
00:49:01,699 --> 00:49:03,033
Sorry.
706
00:49:59,799 --> 00:50:01,467
Have you
considered the possibility
707
00:50:01,551 --> 00:50:03,302
the reason you haven't been
laid in the last decade
708
00:50:03,386 --> 00:50:05,388
has something to do with your
routine use of the word "Trim"?
709
00:50:05,555 --> 00:50:09,559
Yeah, seven days a week,
56 weeks a year, "Trim!"
710
00:50:11,185 --> 00:50:12,186
That's my bad.
711
00:50:12,854 --> 00:50:14,726
Where's your manners, shithead?
712
00:50:37,117 --> 00:50:47,421
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www.addic7ed.com
48360
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