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1
00:00:01,202 --> 00:00:03,202
♪♪
2
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:07,351
And it does feel
All right, babies,
3
00:00:07,375 --> 00:00:08,952
'cause we're going
Out with ray charles,
4
00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:10,742
And a big one from 1958.
5
00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:12,522
Now, the doctor's gonna
Have to pull the plug
6
00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:14,946
On your life-support system
Until tomorrow morning,
7
00:00:15,016 --> 00:00:16,693
But coming up
Next, sitting in for
8
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,650
The ever-absent rex erhardt,
9
00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:21,820
Here's some guy on
Tape from los angeles.
10
00:00:21,889 --> 00:00:24,056
Man: thanks, johnny.
11
00:00:24,124 --> 00:00:26,624
it's another terrific...
Overdubbed voice: wednesday
12
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,671
here in... overdubbed
Voice: cincinnati.
13
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:30,562
here's number one on the...
14
00:00:30,630 --> 00:00:32,075
Overdubbed voice: wkrp...
15
00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:34,833
heavy hits countdown.
16
00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:37,769
Boy, where did they
Get this guy, anyway?
17
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:39,737
- it's only for a week.
- ah.
18
00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:41,887
Well, I guess I can
Take it for that long.
19
00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:48,246
Maybe not.
20
00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:51,816
- where's rex off to now?
- tennis tournament.
21
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:55,286
Is it time for the debby
Boone invitational already?
22
00:00:55,355 --> 00:00:57,122
Mm-hmm.
23
00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:58,868
- hey, big bailey.
- hey, big herb.
24
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,569
Hey, big john. How's the guy?
25
00:01:00,593 --> 00:01:02,172
Let's talk about this
26
00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:04,996
Hermetically sealed deejay.
27
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,766
Oh, yeah. Two hours of show,
28
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:10,135
All on tape, didn't
Cost us a dime.
29
00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:11,915
Well, you'd never know it.
30
00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:13,972
Oh, john, don't worry about it.
31
00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:16,942
You're certainly never gonna
Be replaced by a syndicated show.
32
00:01:17,011 --> 00:01:19,344
You are el numero one.
33
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,291
Now, haven't I always said that?
34
00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:23,615
Every time you want
Something, yeah.
35
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,524
- ha!
- what do you want, herb?
36
00:01:25,552 --> 00:01:29,254
Just the use of that oh, so
Persuasive voice of yours
37
00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:31,890
For just three little
60-second spots.
38
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:33,892
Forget it, pal. I'm out of here.
39
00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:36,828
- the guy asked for you, john.
- I'm sorry, herb.
40
00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:39,831
You just tell him the
Doctor is not for sale.
41
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:41,499
Almost forgot.
42
00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:44,080
- there's a talent fee... 35 a spot.
- sold.
43
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,538
You weren't gonna tell me about
44
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,941
The "Fee" part of it, were you?
45
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:50,876
Sure, I was.
46
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,778
You think I'd cheat you?
47
00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:58,283
Anyway, dave's
Waiting waiting for you.
48
00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,486
- dave, come on in here.
- sure.
49
00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:01,965
Dave wickerman, I
Want you to meet
50
00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:03,889
The incredible dr. Johnny fever.
51
00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:05,824
Hey.
52
00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:08,894
This is really a
Pleasure. I am a fan.
53
00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:10,607
- great...
- I'm not kidding.
54
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:13,098
I have been listening
To you for four years.
55
00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:15,834
- oh, really?
- you are one of the greats.
56
00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:18,470
- I wouldn't go so far...
- really sensational.
57
00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:20,772
uh, guys, guys, guys,
58
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:23,007
I really... I really
Hate like heck
59
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,555
to dive in here, but don't we
Have some spots to do? Huh?
60
00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:28,558
- oh, herb.
- probably right. We can
Talk more about this later.
61
00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:30,226
- he's a wild man, isn't he?
- oh, yes.
62
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:31,961
Why don't we just do it in here?
63
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,631
- in here?
- we'll do two mikes, dave,
So you take that one,
64
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,733
- you take this one.
- and I'll be on
This one here.
65
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:39,891
John will be on this one, and
I'll operate the tape recorder.
66
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:43,061
- he'll operate
The tape recorder.
- oh.
67
00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:45,441
- this is really impressive.
- there. Okay, all right.
68
00:02:45,465 --> 00:02:47,933
Wait, let me fix
This for you, john.
69
00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:52,336
That's all right. Just
Scoot down there, okay?
70
00:02:52,405 --> 00:02:54,205
All right, ready? Okay, go.
71
00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:56,341
Okay, wickerman
Spot one, take one.
72
00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:58,810
Fat... What a bummer.
73
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:04,015
The only things worse are
Dieting and boring exercises.
74
00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:05,828
Well, now there's another way,
75
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,012
And here's dave wickerman
To tell us about it.
76
00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:09,421
Thanks, johnny.
77
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:11,956
Now you can cut your
Exercise program in half
78
00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:15,560
Just supplement it with wickerman's
Weight loss energy capsules.
79
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:18,863
You know, dave, the
Real downer about dieting
80
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:22,401
Is the way it makes me all
Cranky and out of sorts.
81
00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:24,403
Bad trip.
82
00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:26,104
Not anymore, john.
83
00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:29,540
When your mood is black, these
Little beauties will keep you going,
84
00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:32,176
And on those late
Nights before finals,
85
00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:34,023
- excuse me.
- when you're really
Feeling down and out
86
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,692
- excuse me, dave.
- and you need something to...
87
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:38,783
Uh, listen, it's really
Exceptional copy here.
88
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:42,588
I mean, the message comes
Through loud and clear.
89
00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:44,022
Great, great.
90
00:03:44,091 --> 00:03:46,224
That's a pro talking, dave.
91
00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:48,894
And the pro isn't
Gonna do these spots.
92
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:51,029
- I'm sorry. What?
- you know, herb,
93
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:54,967
Your friend here
Is rather reptilian.
94
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:57,313
- what?
- yeah. But if you
Put him on the air,
95
00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:59,805
You are definitely a snake.
96
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:02,474
Wait. John...
John, let's talk...
97
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:12,083
♪ baby, if you've
Ever wondered ♪
98
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:16,154
♪ wondered whatever
Became of me ♪
99
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:20,691
♪ I'm livin' on the
Air in cincinnati ♪
100
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:25,263
♪ cincinnati, wkrp ♪
101
00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:29,367
♪ got kind of tired of
Packin' and unpackin' ♪
102
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:33,672
♪ town to town, up
And down the dial ♪
103
00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:37,776
♪ maybe you and me
Were never meant to be ♪
104
00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:41,613
♪ just maybe think
Of me once in a while ♪
105
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:47,652
♪ I'm at wkrp in cincinnati ♪
106
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:53,436
What I'm trying to
Say is that I didn't know
107
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,238
That bouncing didn't have
Any exercise value at all.
108
00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:57,440
Ha! A lot you know, sitting
There eating that doughnut.
109
00:04:57,464 --> 00:05:00,365
- I'm sorry.
- where do they go,
Anyway, travis?
110
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:02,178
- what's that, sir?
- the doughnuts.
111
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:04,280
When I eat those suckers,
They go straight for my belt line.
112
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,905
When you eat 'em,
Apparently they turn into hair.
113
00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:12,010
Uh-oh. Busy executives at work.
114
00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:13,345
Don't mind me.
115
00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:14,891
- jennifer?
- yes?
116
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,526
Haven't you forgotten something?
117
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:18,984
Why, of course. Silly me.
118
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:22,086
Mr. Carlson, have
You lost some weight?
119
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:23,922
You bet. Three pounds.
120
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,725
Goodness. I would've
Said at least 20.
121
00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:29,227
- oh.
- no, no. Make that 30.
122
00:05:29,295 --> 00:05:32,897
You should really stop dieting.
You look positively emaciated.
123
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:34,744
Thank you, jennifer.
That'll be all.
124
00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:37,168
My pleasure.
125
00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:40,605
On the other hand, you
Could lose a couple of pounds.
126
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,774
- you too.
- thanks.
127
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,477
Big guy? Big... Big... Big...
128
00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:55,854
Big guy, fever went nuts and
Attacked one of my clients.
129
00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:59,190
What?
130
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:00,903
What are you talking about?
131
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:03,106
Dave wickerman, of
Wickerman's weight-loss studio.
132
00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:05,130
The nicest guy ever
To walk this earth,
133
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,365
And he called him a
Snake right to his face.
134
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:09,745
- that doesn't
Sound like johnny.
- then he called me one too.
135
00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:12,037
Well, that does
Sound like johnny.
136
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:14,672
I swear, if dave
Wasn't such a nice guy,
137
00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:16,452
He'd have canceled
Right there on the spot.
138
00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:19,077
But fortunately, I just
Kind of jumped in there
139
00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:21,512
And turned on the old
Charm and saved the account,
140
00:06:21,581 --> 00:06:22,925
No thanks to fever.
141
00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:24,849
Well, I'll talk to johnny.
142
00:06:41,434 --> 00:06:43,468
Did you gain some
Weight, big guy?
143
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:47,439
Take a look at the copy.
144
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:49,574
What, he's selling diet aids.
145
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:51,710
Well, they're not
Regular diet aids.
146
00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:54,779
I mean, uh, "When
Your mood is black,
147
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:57,048
These little beauties
Will keep you going"?
148
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,250
So?
149
00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:01,753
So, you think maybe the guy
150
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:04,388
- is trying to sell speed?
- oh, come on, john.
151
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:07,258
Look, not only that, I point
Out he's trying to sell it to kids.
152
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:10,261
"On those late
Nights before finals..."
153
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:11,874
Now, what does
Taking a final exam
154
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:13,576
Have to do with losing weight?
155
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,433
This is nuts.
156
00:07:15,501 --> 00:07:17,613
The guy cannot be selling
Speed over the counter.
157
00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:20,638
Well, I am saying that he is.
158
00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:22,452
Actually, you're both right.
159
00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:24,542
Oh, great. A drug expert.
160
00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:29,614
Black beauties, yellowjackets,
161
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:31,649
Mini white crosses,
162
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:34,920
Rainbows, reds,
Whites, ups, downs.
163
00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:37,188
- lester!
- what you have here
164
00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:40,124
Are probably
Lookalikes, or "Turkeys,"
165
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:42,293
As we say on the street.
166
00:07:42,362 --> 00:07:44,095
Right.
167
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:46,309
They're counterfeits of
The actual amphetamines.
168
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:49,100
They contain abnormally
High concentrations
169
00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:50,847
Of caffeine or other substances
170
00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:52,648
That are not
Federally controlled.
171
00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:54,450
But if you take enough of them,
172
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,241
You go speeding.
173
00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:58,442
As frank zappa once said...
174
00:07:58,512 --> 00:08:00,156
How do you know so much?
175
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:03,058
If either of you paid any
Attention at all to my noon reports,
176
00:08:03,082 --> 00:08:05,984
You'd know I did an in-depth
Study on them weeks ago.
177
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:09,298
- well...
- these lookalikes have surfaced
In a number of major cities,
178
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,300
But there's nothing
Anyone can do about them
179
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,102
Because they aren't
The real drugs.
180
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:15,037
If that's the case,
Then what is the harm?
181
00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:18,897
So naive. You tell him, john.
182
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:21,944
Well, kids think they're
Harmless because they're not real,
183
00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:24,903
So the start gobbling
Them by the handful.
184
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:27,671
Right. Okay.
185
00:08:27,740 --> 00:08:30,353
I'll go have a confusing
Conversation with carlson about this.
186
00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:33,097
- I'll take care of it. Don't worry.
- good.
187
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:37,782
- les, uh...
- I know about mary jane too,
188
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,851
So watch your step.
189
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:43,621
Mary jane who?
190
00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:49,027
Gone to lunch.
191
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:53,965
Have you seen herb? Freeze.
192
00:08:55,768 --> 00:08:58,236
Andy, I've been looking
All over for you.
193
00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:00,149
Let's do the lunch thing.
What do you feel like having?
194
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:03,208
- a word with you.
- now what have I done?
195
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:06,255
Herb, I'm not sure, but let's
Find out together, shall we?
196
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:07,745
Okay, fine.
197
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:09,880
You, me, and mr. Carlson
198
00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:12,628
Are gonna pay a little visit to
Your good friend, mr. Wickerman.
199
00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:14,653
You want to lose some weight?
200
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:17,488
Maybe. Maybe 160
Pounds of polyester.
201
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,290
Great!
202
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,002
Anybody here?
203
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:34,072
Well, look.
204
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:37,142
As advertised on wkrp.
205
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:39,210
- hey, herb.
- hey, dave.
206
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,290
Hey, see you brought some
Of your buddies by, huh?
207
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:43,025
- yeah, this is, uh...
- oh, hey,
208
00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:45,027
Looks like you got here
Just in the nick of time.
209
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,754
Hey, we'll get you
Back in shape in no time.
210
00:09:49,822 --> 00:09:51,989
Herb, listen, listen,
I'm glad you came by
211
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:54,470
Because I've got some new
Copy... It'll save me a trip.
212
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:57,562
Just get any of the other
Jocks at the station to record it.
213
00:09:57,630 --> 00:09:59,375
- these guys...
- the truth is, sir,
214
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:01,543
That we're not gonna be
Running those spots after all.
215
00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:03,668
I'm sorry. I don't
Think we've met.
216
00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:06,204
Yeah, I'm andy travis,
Program director at wkrp.
217
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:09,006
This is arthur carlson.
He's the station manager.
218
00:10:09,075 --> 00:10:12,243
Wow, all the brass, huh?
219
00:10:12,311 --> 00:10:14,746
So tell me, what's this
About not running the spots?
220
00:10:14,814 --> 00:10:17,115
Well, a funny thing...
221
00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:19,684
Would you believe
We're sold out?
222
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,554
Wkrp?
223
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,408
I think what mr. Carlson means
224
00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:35,834
Is we've had a little change
In the scheduling situation,
225
00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:38,247
So we'd just like to give you
This check back and call it even.
226
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:41,072
Oh, listen, I don't want
To cause any trouble,
227
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:44,442
But I... I tell you, I need
To run those spots.
228
00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:46,744
- you do?
- yeah, listen,
229
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:48,846
You have no idea
How tough it's been
230
00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:51,649
Just trying to get a
Station to sell me some time.
231
00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:58,121
Well, the fact is that herb made
A mistake in selling you that time,
232
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,591
So herb, you give him the check.
233
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:09,734
Would somebody please
Tell me what's going on here?
234
00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:11,402
Surely.
235
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:13,238
Big guy?
236
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,508
Look, we just don't
Want you on our station.
237
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:19,588
I mean, you're selling
This stuff to kids.
238
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:22,147
Now, hold on a
Second. First of all,
239
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:24,749
There is nothing wrong
With my energy capsules.
240
00:11:24,817 --> 00:11:26,562
Well, that's not what we heard.
241
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:29,988
Second of all, I don't sell
Anything to minors or children
242
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:32,590
Without the express
Consent of their parents.
243
00:11:32,658 --> 00:11:35,059
What's that? A note
From mommy, is it?
244
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:37,929
You check all the
Signatures out, do you?
245
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,535
I operate within the law,
246
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:47,706
And I expect you to do the same.
247
00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:50,374
What does he mean by that?
248
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:53,711
What do you mean by that?
249
00:11:55,414 --> 00:11:56,815
What I mean is
250
00:11:56,883 --> 00:12:00,552
That I have a contract
In my office, on my desk,
251
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:03,254
With your signature
On it and yours
252
00:12:03,322 --> 00:12:07,158
That says I get 18 spots
A week for two weeks,
253
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,094
And I want those spots.
254
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:12,363
I'm sorry, mr. Wickerman,
But we just can't do it.
255
00:12:12,431 --> 00:12:15,733
Oh, come on, guys. Don't
Make me call my lawyer.
256
00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:18,670
I don't want to have
To be the bad guy, huh?
257
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,172
Hey, listen. Why
Don't you just relax
258
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,741
And take these and
Have a good time, huh?
259
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:27,245
You go ahead and
Call your lawyer.
260
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:29,513
F. Lee, bailey, if you like.
261
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,616
We have an attorney too,
262
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:33,295
And there's not a
Court in this land
263
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:35,887
That'd make us run
Your lousy commercials.
264
00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:39,257
Behind the 8-ball.
265
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:41,792
Up the creek. Between a rock
266
00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:44,095
And a hard place.
267
00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:46,430
Hanging by a thread
268
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:49,333
With a snowball's
Chance in hell.
269
00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:53,404
How do you mean that?
270
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:57,108
You let this thing get to court,
271
00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:59,844
You could be left
Twisting in the wind.
272
00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:03,448
Look, you've got to be joking.
273
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:05,556
Lawyers never joke
About the law, okay?
274
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:08,153
I'm sorry, mr. Bartman,
But that's not right.
275
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:10,355
We're not talking about "Right,"
276
00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:13,758
We're talking about the law.
277
00:13:13,826 --> 00:13:16,839
Now, look. You've made a
Contractual agreement with this man.
278
00:13:16,863 --> 00:13:19,764
He has done nothing to
Violate that contract.
279
00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:22,233
How can a judge tell me
Who I have for a client?
280
00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:25,036
Look, you do spots
For aspirin, right?
281
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:26,670
- do we?
- yeah.
282
00:13:26,740 --> 00:13:29,006
So you have no policy against
283
00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:31,887
- advertising
Over-the-counter drugs.
- well, so what?
284
00:13:31,911 --> 00:13:33,455
So what do you think
The man is selling,
285
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,780
Wall-to-wall carpeting?
286
00:13:35,848 --> 00:13:38,650
Look, aspirins help people.
287
00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:41,119
Wickerman calls
His junk "Stimulants."
288
00:13:41,187 --> 00:13:44,388
But it's all legal, and you're
Discriminating against him.
289
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:46,391
You're darned
Right we are, frank.
290
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:48,437
I mean, that guy doesn't
Even take his own pills.
291
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:51,328
Heck, he weighs more than
I do, for crying out loud.
292
00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:55,033
I'm not your conscience,
Arthur, I'm your lawyer.
293
00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:57,668
My advice is, run the spots
For a couple of weeks.
294
00:13:57,737 --> 00:13:59,837
When his contract's
Up, it's all over.
295
00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:01,517
No, I say we cancel him now,
296
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,785
- and we take our
Chances in court.
- me too.
297
00:14:03,809 --> 00:14:07,144
But you don't pay my
Retainer, you know.
298
00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:10,047
Your mother does.
299
00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:12,917
So I'm to be reporting to her.
300
00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:14,552
You will?
301
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:17,288
Uh-huh. Now,
302
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,924
Your mother doesn't go to court.
303
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:22,193
You know that. It's
Far too expensive,
304
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,028
And it's messy.
305
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:26,764
So if it's your intention
To ignore my advice,
306
00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:28,513
I'm gonna tell on you.
307
00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:41,423
So he sues, man. So what?
308
00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:43,367
Why are you so
Excited about this?
309
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:45,093
Because the guy's selling speed.
310
00:14:45,117 --> 00:14:47,557
Man, I thought speed was
Gone. We've got to fight this guy.
311
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:49,921
We can't afford to go to
Court, so forget about it.
312
00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:52,323
Andy, real speed is gone
Because it killed everybody.
313
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,392
Junkies don't even want it back.
314
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:57,896
Once the republicans got in,
Everybody just switched to downers.
315
00:15:02,168 --> 00:15:05,314
Now, look, you guys, we're just
Gonna have to ride this thing out.
316
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,571
Great. When is herb going after
317
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,408
A concealable handgun account?
318
00:15:10,476 --> 00:15:12,911
Here are the disclaimers.
319
00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:15,980
I want these read before
Every wickerman spot.
320
00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:19,361
"This station does not endorse or recommend
The use of the following product."
321
00:15:19,385 --> 00:15:21,252
Wow. Really hard-hitting stuff.
322
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,354
Yeah, well, the lawyer wrote it.
323
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:27,191
Yeah, well, he left out all the
"Wherases" and "Therefores."
324
00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:30,127
Do the best you
Can with it, all right?
325
00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:34,131
This is the worst, man. I can't
Believe they could force us to...
326
00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:36,834
What is it?
327
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:38,970
What?
328
00:15:39,038 --> 00:15:40,682
You've got that
Look in your eye.
329
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:42,907
I can see it behind
Those shades.
330
00:15:42,975 --> 00:15:44,642
What look is that?
331
00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:47,211
That "Vigilante justice" look.
332
00:15:49,381 --> 00:15:51,281
Johnny: whereas it is strictly
333
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:53,495
the opinion of this
Announcer and therefore
334
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:55,653
by no means a provable fact,
335
00:15:55,721 --> 00:15:58,789
the sponsor you're
About to hear from is,
336
00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:01,726
to wit, a real scum-bucket.
337
00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:05,897
Uh-oh.
338
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,899
Venus: trying to lose weight?
339
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,511
all that boring exercise
340
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:11,655
that used to lead
Nowhere is gone forever.
341
00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:14,505
now with wickerman's...
342
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:19,110
Oh.
343
00:16:19,178 --> 00:16:21,579
They have been doing that
For the last two hours.
344
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,815
So far, the man has been
Called a scum-bucket,
345
00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:26,717
Nerd, freak, gutter snipe,
346
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:29,087
And, uh, what was
The other... Oh, yeah...
347
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,854
A wahoo.
348
00:16:33,025 --> 00:16:34,859
What's a wahoo?
349
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:36,927
I think it's an
Insurance company.
350
00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:43,067
- "Scum-bucket"?
- uh, yes, sir.
351
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:45,748
- has wickerman
Called in here yet?
- not yet.
352
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:48,016
All right, ladies, let me tell
You what I think we ought to do.
353
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,919
- jennifer, would you
Please call my lawyer?
- yes, sir.
354
00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:54,679
Bailey, would you mind bringing me the
Heads of fever and flytrap on a platter?
355
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:56,680
- yes, sir.
- where's travis?
356
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:58,510
Downstairs doughnut shop.
357
00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:00,529
Oh, call down and tell him
Never to come in here again.
358
00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:02,920
And have les beaten up,
For no particular reason.
359
00:17:02,988 --> 00:17:05,423
No, I'll handle that.
What about herb?
360
00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:07,691
- herb is mine.
- oh.
361
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,271
Thank you, ladies.
362
00:17:09,295 --> 00:17:11,495
Gee, it's a pleasure doing
Business with women.
363
00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:16,000
Now, I know I didn't go
364
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:18,936
To one of those big
Ivy-league law schools
365
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:22,906
And I didn't graduate
At the top of my class,
366
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:26,377
But I do know that "Scum-bucket"
367
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:32,216
Is slanderous and
Definitely actionable.
368
00:17:32,284 --> 00:17:33,418
Which means?
369
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:35,453
Well, I think the
Legal term for it
370
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:38,723
Would be, "Your
Keister's in a sling."
371
00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:43,961
Oh, boy.
372
00:17:44,029 --> 00:17:46,074
I got to admit, at first I
Was a little ticked off,
373
00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:47,910
But those spots, they're
Working like a charm.
374
00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:49,444
They're the talk of the town.
375
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,770
- gosh-dog it.
- what?
376
00:17:52,838 --> 00:17:56,307
Johnny and venus's
Nut-bar spots are working.
377
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:58,375
Of course they are.
378
00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:00,444
How many times have I told you,
379
00:18:00,512 --> 00:18:04,348
The more tasteless commercials
Are, the better they work.
380
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:06,328
I've got to talk to
Carlson about this.
381
00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:08,519
This might not be
So easy to ride out.
382
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:11,622
Thanks. Andy?
383
00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:14,459
Andy should see this.
So should mr. Carlson.
384
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:17,706
- well, then, so should I.
- I want to show it to
Someone in authority.
385
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,129
Right.
386
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:25,881
Where did you get this?
387
00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:27,749
It was a news tip.
Now, give it back.
388
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:30,041
No. And you're not gonna
Show it to mr. Carlson.
389
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:33,644
Or andy either,
And I mean it, les.
390
00:18:33,712 --> 00:18:35,124
Herb: this is herbert...
391
00:18:39,185 --> 00:18:41,586
Oh. Hi, andy. How's the guy?
392
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:43,354
What are you doing?
393
00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:45,689
Oh, nothing much.
What are you doing?
394
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:47,769
Looking for carlson.
Why are you in here?
395
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,460
In here?
396
00:18:49,529 --> 00:18:51,362
- yeah.
- uh...
397
00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:54,298
Just making a quick tape,
That's all. Nothing much.
398
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:57,034
Mm-hmm. Tape for what?
399
00:18:58,104 --> 00:19:00,138
Put on the air.
400
00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:02,507
No, no, herb, let me explain
To you how this works.
401
00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,509
You see, you sell the spots,
402
00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:06,522
And the deejays,
They go on the air.
403
00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,646
I know, but I have
Got to do this, andy.
404
00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:10,781
I've got to do the right thing.
405
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:13,929
You're always doing the right thing and
Mr. Carlson's always doing the right thing,
406
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:16,193
And I'm tired of being the
Only person around here
407
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:18,188
Without a shred
Of human decency.
408
00:19:18,257 --> 00:19:21,859
I mean, it bugs me.
409
00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:24,695
What in the hell are
You talking about, herb?
410
00:19:26,031 --> 00:19:27,531
This.
411
00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:32,302
Oh, good lord.
412
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:34,271
Is this true?
413
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:38,743
Do it.
414
00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:42,312
- really?
- yeah, right now.
415
00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:44,226
Uh, you want to
Help me record it?
416
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:45,761
No, we don't record it, herb.
417
00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:47,730
You go right in
There, and we do it live.
418
00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:50,487
Oh, no. No, no, no.
I couldn't do that,
419
00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:53,558
You see, because I'm the guy
Who always screws up, remember?
420
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:57,361
You're the guy that wants
To do right, remember?
421
00:19:57,430 --> 00:20:00,665
Now, come on. Come on.
422
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:02,399
♪♪
423
00:20:06,505 --> 00:20:09,340
All right, out of the way,
Guys. Herbert's going on the air.
424
00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:13,711
You know, it's funny... You work here
Long enough, you start hallucinating.
425
00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:14,912
Get out.
426
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:17,415
- herb's going on the air?
- yeah.
427
00:20:17,483 --> 00:20:19,861
Does this mean we're gonna
Have to go out and sell something?
428
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:22,019
You guys... Come on, sit down.
429
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:32,330
And now, a surprise
Editorial by herbert r. Tarlek,
430
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:34,799
Wkrp sales manager.
431
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:40,538
- this is herbert r. Tarlek...
- I already said that.
432
00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:42,105
Oh.
433
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:49,146
A couple of days ago, I
Sold some commercials
434
00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:52,015
To wickerman's
Weight-loss studio.
435
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,218
They were advertising
436
00:20:54,286 --> 00:20:56,354
These energy capsules,
437
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:59,490
And they were supposed
To be legal and harmless.
438
00:21:01,126 --> 00:21:03,794
Well, today, a 15-year-old kid
439
00:21:03,863 --> 00:21:06,764
Keeled over in his gym class,
440
00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:09,766
And his coach found
These pills in his locker.
441
00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:12,336
I guess what I'm
Trying to say is that
442
00:21:12,404 --> 00:21:15,672
I shouldn't have sold these
Spots to mr. Wickerman,
443
00:21:15,741 --> 00:21:18,608
And I'm gonna tear
Up his contract.
444
00:21:18,677 --> 00:21:21,778
He says he's gonna sue us...
445
00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:23,848
I hope he doesn't...
446
00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:27,651
But I just wanted to say I'm
Sorry we advertised this stuff,
447
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,788
And, well, we're not
Gonna do it anymore.
448
00:21:33,058 --> 00:21:36,259
Uh, I want it known
That I still believe
449
00:21:36,328 --> 00:21:38,863
In the free-enterprise system,
450
00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:41,164
And I believe in the
Right of anybody
451
00:21:41,233 --> 00:21:43,033
To advertise their product,
452
00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:45,636
So long as it doesn't
Make kids faint, so...
453
00:21:45,704 --> 00:21:49,006
Well, if you have a product
That you'd like to advertise,
454
00:21:49,074 --> 00:21:51,375
Just give me a call.
455
00:21:51,444 --> 00:21:54,178
My name is herb tarlek,
And the phone number is 555...
456
00:21:54,247 --> 00:21:56,180
Thank you, herbert.
457
00:21:56,249 --> 00:21:59,683
Now we continue with
Our regular programming.
458
00:21:59,752 --> 00:22:01,696
- you done good, herb.
- but I wasn't through yet.
459
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:05,322
- oh, sure, you were,
Sure, you were.
- you did the right thing, herb.
460
00:22:05,391 --> 00:22:07,169
Yeah, I guess I did, didn't I?
461
00:22:07,193 --> 00:22:09,353
Yeah, even if you picked
My show to do it in.
462
00:22:09,395 --> 00:22:11,028
Sorry about that.
463
00:22:11,096 --> 00:22:12,996
I'll just, uh...
464
00:22:14,267 --> 00:22:16,367
Yeah.
465
00:22:16,435 --> 00:22:17,846
- congratulations.
- thanks.
466
00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:20,371
- congratulations.
- ah, well...
467
00:22:20,439 --> 00:22:23,607
Herb... Herb, come here.
468
00:22:30,549 --> 00:22:32,082
Thanks.
469
00:22:39,825 --> 00:22:41,825
Man: wkrp in cincinnati
470
00:22:41,894 --> 00:22:43,861
will be back after this.
471
00:22:46,331 --> 00:22:49,332
Hey, man, guess what? Drove
By wickerman's on the way in.
472
00:22:49,402 --> 00:22:51,702
- lot of picket signs?
- twice as many as yesterday.
473
00:22:51,771 --> 00:22:53,849
Now, here's the best part:
There's a sign in the window
474
00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,484
That says, "Going
Out of business."
475
00:22:55,508 --> 00:22:57,468
- really?
- yeah, I heard about that.
476
00:22:57,509 --> 00:23:01,078
I had herb check it out. The
Guy's landlord's throwing him out.
477
00:23:01,147 --> 00:23:04,482
- outstanding. So we've won?
- no.
478
00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:06,550
He's moving to the
Other side of town.
479
00:23:06,619 --> 00:23:08,486
All perfectly legal.
480
00:23:13,425 --> 00:23:15,993
Why, mr. Carlson, have
You lost some more weight?
481
00:23:16,061 --> 00:23:19,040
As a matter of fact, I've gained
Four pounds, and I feel great.
482
00:23:19,064 --> 00:23:21,984
- how about you?
- I have one of
Those headaches I get
483
00:23:22,034 --> 00:23:23,745
Whenever we get too much mail.
484
00:23:23,769 --> 00:23:26,036
Oh. Listen. If anybody wants me,
485
00:23:26,105 --> 00:23:27,949
I'll be down at the
Doughnut shop.
37184
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