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Welcome to STEMCON...
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the biggest science, technology,
engineering and mathematics competition
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00:00:27,290 --> 00:00:29,164
of the year.
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00:00:29,165 --> 00:00:32,955
Now, welcome to the stage
our reigning champion,
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00:00:32,956 --> 00:00:35,289
sure to dazzle us yet again,
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00:00:35,290 --> 00:00:37,956
Ms. Avery Hansen‐White.
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00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:40,665
Go, Avery!
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00:00:48,165 --> 00:00:51,247
I might not have been standing
naked in front of this audience,
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00:00:51,248 --> 00:00:55,539
but, trust me, this was
my absolute worst nightmare.
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00:00:55,540 --> 00:00:57,414
Let me back up a bit.
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00:00:57,415 --> 00:01:00,248
♪ Upbeat music playing ♪
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I thought I had it all figured out.
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00:01:14,665 --> 00:01:15,665
♪ I'm amazing! ♪
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I had a record‐breaking GPA,
an impeccable résumé,
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00:01:19,248 --> 00:01:21,080
and an early acceptance to MIT,
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00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,664
with a side of full ride.
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♪ Who you lookin' at? ♪
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I don't want to say I ruled the school,
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but I ruled the school.
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Whoa!
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And not because I cared about
fitting in with the popular crowd
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or finding a hot date to prom.
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Eff all that.
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STEMCON was my prom.
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Hello, girlfriends.
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00:01:51,248 --> 00:01:53,997
The national STEM competition
was the event of the year
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00:01:53,998 --> 00:01:57,039
and wining the senior year competition
is the holy grail.
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00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:59,997
You win a fellowship
that basically sets you up for life.
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Everyone was rooting for me except...
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00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:03,330
Carlson.
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00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:04,622
Hey, Avery.
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00:02:04,623 --> 00:02:07,580
But she teaches sex ed,
which doesn't count.
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00:02:07,581 --> 00:02:09,290
Avery's here.
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00:02:11,248 --> 00:02:13,664
Today is the day. Ooh!
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00:02:13,665 --> 00:02:16,914
Ah, there she is.
God, what a power couple.
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Got a perfect score on his SAT.
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He is a perfect score.
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And trust me, his brain is huge.
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Here it comes, here it is!
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00:02:30,498 --> 00:02:33,289
Hey, hey, STEMMERS,
are you excited? I am.
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00:02:33,290 --> 00:02:35,580
Former STEMCON champ Nada Raj here,
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00:02:35,581 --> 00:02:38,580
coming at you
with this year's STEM challenge.
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00:02:38,581 --> 00:02:41,164
Now I know at this moment
you're all at the edge of your seats,
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anxiously awaiting this year's prom,
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so, without further ado, here it is.
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Create an app...
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Oh, my God, it's your thing!
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00:02:50,540 --> 00:02:54,205
...that solves a problem
in your personal life.
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Oh, my God, you are so
gonna win STEMCON again.
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00:02:56,873 --> 00:02:58,330
MIT, Nobel Peace.
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00:02:58,331 --> 00:03:00,955
Look out, world,
here comes Avery Hansen‐White!
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00:03:00,956 --> 00:03:03,205
So, you must have concepts
flooding your mind.
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00:03:03,206 --> 00:03:05,122
Oh, yeah. No, they sure are.
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00:03:05,123 --> 00:03:07,123
Like what? Like what?
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00:03:07,790 --> 00:03:09,705
Here's a chance to prove your mettle
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00:03:09,706 --> 00:03:12,705
at the nation's greatest
science competition.
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00:03:12,706 --> 00:03:15,872
We'll see you and your
life‐improving app in a month.
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Get ready, get set...
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00:03:18,081 --> 00:03:21,456
make like an apple and STEM!
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00:03:22,623 --> 00:03:24,290
Avery?
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00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:27,331
Hello?
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00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,415
So... what's the story?
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00:03:30,915 --> 00:03:33,914
Oh, uh, STEMCON.
Oh, they announced the challenge?
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00:03:33,915 --> 00:03:38,330
Yeah. I basically have to create an app
to solve a problem in my personal life.
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00:03:38,331 --> 00:03:40,122
Ooh, maybe you should start
by having one.
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Hmm.
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This is Larson.
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We've been friends
basically our whole lives.
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I have a bootiful and powerful vagina.
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This is my vulvar,
up dare is my cervakicks.
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00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:54,372
This is my pee‐pee! Waaah!
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While he didn't share my passion
for scientific precision...
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I'm in the ocean!
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00:03:58,623 --> 00:04:01,956
He was always game to be
the subject of my experiments.
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00:04:06,956 --> 00:04:10,539
While I was setting
the academic bar for our peers,
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00:04:10,540 --> 00:04:12,372
he was giving the assist.
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I was breaking records
and publishing research...
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You did it!
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00:04:16,956 --> 00:04:19,247
...he was taking one for the team.
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00:04:19,248 --> 00:04:24,080
Until freshman year when
our experimenting came to a hard stop.
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Oh!
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We decided to retire
our scholarly partnership
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and just be friends.
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Sorry.
85
00:04:34,623 --> 00:04:36,747
Cute. Shut up.
86
00:04:36,748 --> 00:04:39,789
Some of us experience
attraction to other humans.
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00:04:39,790 --> 00:04:43,205
Yeah, and for some of us,
attraction is sapiosexual.
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00:04:43,206 --> 00:04:44,748
Wha...
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00:04:45,498 --> 00:04:46,997
Intellectual.
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00:04:46,998 --> 00:04:49,747
Right, like with your imaginary
science camp boyfriend?
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00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:52,580
Yes. Casper does my brain
like no one else.
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00:04:52,581 --> 00:04:54,580
You know he speaks fluent Vulcan?
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00:04:54,581 --> 00:04:58,247
Vulcan? Why not learn a useful language
like Latin or Chinese?
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00:04:58,248 --> 00:05:00,289
What do you mean, Mandarin or Cantonese?
95
00:05:00,290 --> 00:05:01,914
Doesn't matter, he actually speaks both.
96
00:05:01,915 --> 00:05:04,289
And there's actually a petition
circulating to make Vulcan
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00:05:04,290 --> 00:05:06,580
the eighth romance language,
so knock it off.
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00:05:06,581 --> 00:05:08,123
Are you taking him to prom?
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00:05:09,290 --> 00:05:11,998
Prom? Are you kidding?
100
00:05:12,540 --> 00:05:13,581
No.
101
00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:17,664
Do you really think prom
is on my list of priorities?
102
00:05:17,665 --> 00:05:19,664
No. That's my point.
103
00:05:19,665 --> 00:05:21,955
You never do any
of the regular high school stuff.
104
00:05:21,956 --> 00:05:23,997
You need to have fun.
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00:05:23,998 --> 00:05:27,080
Nailing life is fun for me, Larson.
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00:05:27,081 --> 00:05:30,372
We're seniors, and you still have
never been to a school dance.
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00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:32,414
Now, we both know you don't
do things you're not great at,
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00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:34,122
which makes me think you can't dance.
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00:05:34,123 --> 00:05:36,372
Oh, I could dance if I wanted to,
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but it won't win me a Nobel Prize.
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00:05:38,748 --> 00:05:42,497
Okay, so go to nerd prom with Casper
and go to fun prom with me.
112
00:05:42,498 --> 00:05:45,039
Go to prom with you. Oh, no.
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Come on.
Senior single scene is dire.
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Everyone's all coupled up.
115
00:05:49,081 --> 00:05:52,747
Well, why don't you ask that cute girl
who melted your brain seconds ago?
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00:05:52,748 --> 00:05:55,497
She didn't melt my brain.
Besides, I have zero ins.
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You, you're my oldest friend.
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And next year, you'll be far away.
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It's the end of an era.
120
00:06:01,915 --> 00:06:03,122
Let's do prom.
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00:06:03,123 --> 00:06:04,873
It's like a rite of passage.
122
00:06:05,831 --> 00:06:07,914
That's really sweet, Larson,
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00:06:07,915 --> 00:06:11,623
but if you wanna do prom, you should
ask someone who would enjoy it.
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Just more concerned with academic
milestones than superfluous ones.
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00:06:19,498 --> 00:06:20,790
It's a rough one.
126
00:06:21,665 --> 00:06:22,665
Yeah.
127
00:06:26,623 --> 00:06:29,872
I had 33 days to create
an app for STEMCON.
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00:06:29,873 --> 00:06:33,747
I never had a shortage of ideas,
but I had already optimized my life
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so there were no areas of weakness.
130
00:06:35,665 --> 00:06:37,664
There was nothing to improve.
131
00:06:37,665 --> 00:06:40,997
Give me global warming,
give me world hunger.
132
00:06:40,998 --> 00:06:42,998
But a personal problem?
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00:06:44,165 --> 00:06:46,206
♪ Ringtone playing ♪
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00:06:51,706 --> 00:06:54,539
Hey. So, 33 days.
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00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:57,372
Yeah. You, me, STEMCON.
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00:06:57,373 --> 00:06:58,664
STEMCON nights.
137
00:06:58,665 --> 00:07:00,622
It's like we chose
the challenge ourselves.
138
00:07:00,623 --> 00:07:03,414
I cannot wait for you to see
what I've been working with.
139
00:07:03,415 --> 00:07:04,455
You?
140
00:07:04,456 --> 00:07:06,540
Yeah. I, uh...
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00:07:07,623 --> 00:07:09,706
got some aces up my sleeve.
142
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I've got an ace in my pants.
143
00:07:12,956 --> 00:07:14,705
What? Uh, I'm...
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00:07:14,706 --> 00:07:16,497
I'm saying, uh,
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we have a lot of experimenting to do.
146
00:07:21,873 --> 00:07:23,747
Oh. Should I organize a control group?
147
00:07:23,748 --> 00:07:24,831
Avery...
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00:07:25,873 --> 00:07:28,373
We've been dating for a while now.
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I'm DTF.
150
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Babe, down to fuck.
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00:07:33,373 --> 00:07:34,705
Oh.
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00:07:34,706 --> 00:07:35,831
Babe?
153
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,040
Babe, I think you froze.
154
00:07:38,623 --> 00:07:39,914
Uh... Is it me? What...?
155
00:07:39,915 --> 00:07:41,414
Uh... Babe?
156
00:07:41,415 --> 00:07:43,622
You there?
Do we have a bad connection here?
157
00:07:43,623 --> 00:07:44,664
What's going on?
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00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,039
Oh, thank God.
159
00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:47,872
It's not like I was scared of sex.
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I was raised in a progressive family.
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But I just was not prepared for this.
Let me explain.
162
00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:56,080
- How are you feeling?
- Yes, how are you feeling?
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Name your feelings by name.
164
00:07:57,623 --> 00:07:59,080
Do you understand what's going on?
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These are my moms.
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00:08:00,373 --> 00:08:02,664
Mama Suze is a steadfast lesbo,
167
00:08:02,665 --> 00:08:05,205
and Ma Deb is an artist,
168
00:08:05,206 --> 00:08:07,955
renowned for vulvic art that would
make Georgia O'Keeffe blush.
169
00:08:07,956 --> 00:08:09,872
We still love you.
170
00:08:09,873 --> 00:08:11,289
So much.
171
00:08:11,290 --> 00:08:13,080
And that's Kim, my bonus mom.
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00:08:13,081 --> 00:08:15,747
She doesn't do labels,
but she does do Ma Deb.
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00:08:15,748 --> 00:08:18,122
And you can live with whoever you want.
174
00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:22,665
I'm going to split my time 50‐50
so as to reduce the burden on all.
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00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:25,414
Ohh!
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00:08:25,415 --> 00:08:27,830
I have no shortage of maternal support,
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00:08:27,831 --> 00:08:32,040
but they weren't exactly the ones
to turn to for advice on sex with men.
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00:08:34,123 --> 00:08:37,455
Don't you think you'll feel better
if you just tell me?
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00:08:37,456 --> 00:08:39,372
No, 'cause you'll just tell Ma Deb.
180
00:08:39,373 --> 00:08:41,580
Would you prefer I guess?
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00:08:41,581 --> 00:08:44,205
Yeah. Good luck there.
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00:08:44,206 --> 00:08:46,748
You and Casper are ready to have sex.
183
00:08:47,956 --> 00:08:49,455
How did you know?
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00:08:49,456 --> 00:08:51,623
A mother always knows.
185
00:08:53,123 --> 00:08:57,164
Hulu recommended 40‐Year‐Old Virgin
and Wet Hot American Summer.
186
00:08:57,165 --> 00:08:59,164
Damn algorithms.
187
00:08:59,165 --> 00:09:03,247
Listen, you shouldn't feel pressured
to do this if you don't want to.
188
00:09:03,248 --> 00:09:05,372
Okay, I know that,
189
00:09:05,373 --> 00:09:08,331
but... I want to.
190
00:09:09,581 --> 00:09:10,790
Okay.
191
00:09:12,415 --> 00:09:14,831
What have you two explored so far?
192
00:09:16,665 --> 00:09:17,997
Kissing?
193
00:09:17,998 --> 00:09:19,456
Probably kissing.
194
00:09:20,665 --> 00:09:22,123
But like anywhere...
195
00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,248
other than the mouth?
196
00:09:26,498 --> 00:09:27,581
Oh.
197
00:09:28,290 --> 00:09:29,372
Um...
198
00:09:29,373 --> 00:09:33,080
No, but I haven't seen him
since last year's STEM, so...
199
00:09:33,081 --> 00:09:34,290
Okay.
200
00:09:35,540 --> 00:09:37,080
God, I can't be bad at this.
201
00:09:37,081 --> 00:09:40,872
This is not the time
to be a perfectionist.
202
00:09:40,873 --> 00:09:43,705
Sex is supposed to be messy.
203
00:09:43,706 --> 00:09:46,205
It's fun. Oh, my God.
204
00:09:46,206 --> 00:09:47,747
I'm gonna blow.
205
00:09:47,748 --> 00:09:50,705
You blow whatever
you're comfortable with.
206
00:09:50,706 --> 00:09:54,455
Head, shoulders... knees and toes.
207
00:09:54,456 --> 00:09:56,205
I can blow his mind. Mm‐hmm.
208
00:09:56,206 --> 00:09:59,664
I mean, we have
these braingasms together.
209
00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:01,456
Braingasms.
210
00:10:02,665 --> 00:10:05,080
I'm gonna call Dr. Dwight
211
00:10:05,081 --> 00:10:08,164
to make an appointment
to talk about birth control.
212
00:10:08,165 --> 00:10:10,747
I'm not even having sex.
But you're thinking about it.
213
00:10:10,748 --> 00:10:13,289
No, you're thinking about it.
214
00:10:13,290 --> 00:10:15,790
Oh, okay...
215
00:10:18,873 --> 00:10:20,497
She's on the move.
216
00:10:20,498 --> 00:10:23,706
♪ Energetic music playing ♪
217
00:10:34,956 --> 00:10:37,455
Oh, Jesus!
We got a lot of options.
218
00:10:37,456 --> 00:10:39,414
Yes.
Ribbed, lubed, flavored.
219
00:10:39,415 --> 00:10:41,080
Piña colada.
220
00:10:41,081 --> 00:10:43,206
Such a complex flavor. Delicious.
221
00:10:44,290 --> 00:10:45,622
Tastes like sunscreen.
222
00:10:45,623 --> 00:10:48,247
You don't have to do
anything you don't wanna do.
223
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:49,455
Can we not do this?
224
00:10:49,456 --> 00:10:53,330
We just want you to remember that
your body is perfect the way that it is,
225
00:10:53,331 --> 00:10:54,873
especially your labia.
226
00:10:56,373 --> 00:10:57,790
As far as I remember.
227
00:10:58,290 --> 00:11:00,455
She's just worried
you'll start judging your body
228
00:11:00,456 --> 00:11:02,289
the second you're in the presence
of a naked man.
229
00:11:02,290 --> 00:11:05,831
Uh, the damage is already done.
230
00:11:06,331 --> 00:11:08,205
I've been comparing my hoo‐ha
231
00:11:08,206 --> 00:11:11,247
to the country's top‐rated snatch
for the last decade.
232
00:11:11,248 --> 00:11:14,372
We do not use that word
in this house, young lady.
233
00:11:14,373 --> 00:11:16,414
Take back the snatch.
No snatch talk, Ave.
234
00:11:16,415 --> 00:11:18,330
It's "hoo‐ha" she knows I can't stand.
235
00:11:18,331 --> 00:11:21,039
Hoo‐ha.
Words like that promote vagina shame.
236
00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:22,747
Mm, ashamed of my lady parts?
237
00:11:22,748 --> 00:11:24,747
Hmm‐mm.
My cookie? My wittle kitty?
238
00:11:24,748 --> 00:11:26,955
Stop it right now.
My hot dog bun?
239
00:11:26,956 --> 00:11:28,789
My sprinkler? Pink taco.
240
00:11:28,790 --> 00:11:31,122
Wrong team, Kim.
That's right.
241
00:11:31,123 --> 00:11:33,831
You guys have no idea what it's like
to lose your virginity.
242
00:11:34,456 --> 00:11:35,705
Yes, we do. Sure, we do.
243
00:11:35,706 --> 00:11:39,330
How? How would you define
when exactly that happened?
244
00:11:39,331 --> 00:11:44,039
Because if someone finger‐bangs me,
that's a measly second base.
245
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:45,914
Only second?
246
00:11:45,915 --> 00:11:47,955
Not the way I do it.
247
00:11:47,956 --> 00:11:49,539
Hmm, touchdown.
248
00:11:49,540 --> 00:11:50,581
No sports.
249
00:11:51,831 --> 00:11:55,164
How was I supposed to get
great at sex by STEMCON?
250
00:11:55,165 --> 00:11:57,372
The thing is, Larson was right.
251
00:11:57,373 --> 00:11:59,498
I don't do things I'm not great at.
252
00:12:00,206 --> 00:12:02,540
I just have to master it,
like everything else in my life.
253
00:12:03,206 --> 00:12:06,664
Avery Hansen‐White can do
anything she puts her mind to.
254
00:12:06,665 --> 00:12:08,665
♪
255
00:12:20,456 --> 00:12:23,706
"Get good at sex."
256
00:12:35,415 --> 00:12:36,623
That's it.
257
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:41,039
Utilizing AI, I could create an algorithm
that would take the data
258
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,914
and prescribe steps
for a successful sexual experience.
259
00:12:43,915 --> 00:12:47,539
I... I'd have my app and be prepared
for STEM night with Casper.
260
00:12:47,540 --> 00:12:49,540
This was a win‐win.
261
00:12:50,373 --> 00:12:52,247
My app would have a dictation feature,
262
00:12:52,248 --> 00:12:56,580
so I programmed the AI
to sound like the sexiest of voices.
263
00:12:56,581 --> 00:12:59,330
Greetings.
Dictation feature is ready.
264
00:12:59,331 --> 00:13:01,165
Spock, of course.
265
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:04,205
I trained Spock to scan
all corners of the Web
266
00:13:04,206 --> 00:13:06,456
for information regarding sex.
267
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:12,540
Spock, how does one have good sex?
268
00:13:13,540 --> 00:13:16,830
Based on current data,
good sex is achieved by
269
00:13:16,831 --> 00:13:20,205
butt plug, choking, stepmom, dick out...
270
00:13:20,206 --> 00:13:21,955
- Ow!
- Naughty gorilla,
271
00:13:21,956 --> 00:13:23,372
squirting, yoga pants‐‐
272
00:13:23,373 --> 00:13:25,664
I needed to refine the search.
273
00:13:25,665 --> 00:13:27,414
What better resource to turn to
274
00:13:27,415 --> 00:13:29,247
than the collective
high‐school wisdom of the ages?
275
00:13:29,248 --> 00:13:31,747
Like this!
276
00:13:31,748 --> 00:13:34,164
So this is what people watch.
277
00:13:34,165 --> 00:13:38,789
Based on available data,
good sex is achieved by boobs, flashing...
278
00:13:38,790 --> 00:13:41,789
Everything okay in there?
What? No, everything's fine.
279
00:13:41,790 --> 00:13:44,539
Boobs, kegger, pie...
280
00:13:44,540 --> 00:13:47,289
Apparently Hollywood
was not the best source either.
281
00:13:47,290 --> 00:13:50,539
I hated to do it,
but I have to revisit sex ed.
282
00:13:50,540 --> 00:13:54,330
Mycoplasma, genitaliums,
the new chlamydia.
283
00:13:54,331 --> 00:13:55,955
May I help you, Ms. Hansen‐White?
284
00:13:55,956 --> 00:13:58,540
I'm collecting sources in preparation
for losing my virginity.
285
00:13:59,498 --> 00:14:00,498
Oh.
286
00:14:01,456 --> 00:14:04,580
G‐spot, premarital sex,
burn in hell...
287
00:14:04,581 --> 00:14:05,872
I know it's not in the manual,
288
00:14:05,873 --> 00:14:09,205
but I could use a little tutorial
on the mechanics of the clitoris.
289
00:14:09,206 --> 00:14:12,122
I cannot tell you
how to pleasure yourself.
290
00:14:12,123 --> 00:14:14,747
Ask your parents.
You have three months.
291
00:14:14,748 --> 00:14:17,247
Clearly sex ed wasn't the answer.
292
00:14:17,248 --> 00:14:18,998
I was back to the drawing board.
293
00:14:19,665 --> 00:14:21,414
What would I tell Casper?
294
00:14:21,415 --> 00:14:22,998
I had made no progress.
295
00:14:24,165 --> 00:14:26,664
Research was consuming my life.
296
00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:29,248
The rest of my studies
were starting to slip.
297
00:14:30,206 --> 00:14:34,122
I know you're new here,
so perhaps you didn't find value
298
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:38,872
in my argument that Romeo and Juliet
had total control over their tragic fate
299
00:14:38,873 --> 00:14:42,080
and rather chose to weaken themselves
to adolescent impulse.
300
00:14:42,081 --> 00:14:43,580
Booty, butt cheeks...
301
00:14:43,581 --> 00:14:46,955
Logic is the beginning of wisdom,
not the end.
302
00:14:46,956 --> 00:14:48,123
Yeah, I...
303
00:14:48,790 --> 00:14:50,205
get that you were quoting Spock.
304
00:14:50,206 --> 00:14:51,747
Slap my ass!
305
00:14:51,748 --> 00:14:54,039
And it's clear that you
understood the text,
306
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,330
but you missed that fundamental thing.
307
00:14:56,331 --> 00:14:57,456
They were in love.
308
00:14:59,206 --> 00:15:02,206
Avery, I'm sorry, the grade stands.
309
00:15:03,581 --> 00:15:06,373
I don't have time for this right now.
310
00:15:06,915 --> 00:15:08,373
But this isn't over.
311
00:15:13,831 --> 00:15:15,706
♪ Ringtone playing ♪
312
00:15:25,915 --> 00:15:27,415
Good morning.
313
00:15:28,706 --> 00:15:31,747
Wanna start
by naming your feelings?
314
00:15:31,748 --> 00:15:35,039
It's like my brain just froze
and now I can't even talk to him.
315
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:37,164
You know, like he just wants
to Google hang,
316
00:15:37,165 --> 00:15:39,955
and all I can think about is,
what does his penis look like?
317
00:15:39,956 --> 00:15:41,955
Totally normal.
318
00:15:41,956 --> 00:15:44,289
I mean, normal to think that.
319
00:15:44,290 --> 00:15:47,497
I don't know
if his penis is normal.
320
00:15:47,498 --> 00:15:49,664
You know what, how about a book?
321
00:15:49,665 --> 00:15:52,414
I might have a copy
of Fifty Shades of Grey.
322
00:15:52,415 --> 00:15:55,039
Eww. They should have called it
Fifty Shades of Grammatical Error.
323
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:56,955
The books are moot, trust me.
324
00:15:56,956 --> 00:16:00,164
Which is why I fed my AI
all these teen sex comedies,
325
00:16:00,165 --> 00:16:03,247
but those are all just like
these horny boys humping pie or...
326
00:16:03,248 --> 00:16:04,872
How about a Molly Ringwald flick?
327
00:16:04,873 --> 00:16:08,080
Hmm, Ma Deb had a thing
for her, let me tell you.
328
00:16:08,081 --> 00:16:10,955
I had this red wig and‐‐
Please don't.
329
00:16:10,956 --> 00:16:14,373
Okay.
No. All of her movies end at the kiss.
330
00:16:15,248 --> 00:16:17,872
Movies talk to girls
about falling in love,
331
00:16:17,873 --> 00:16:19,164
not having sex.
332
00:16:19,165 --> 00:16:22,372
How do I get an accurate representation
of the actual experience?
333
00:16:22,373 --> 00:16:25,330
Well, why not ask
your friends for advice?
334
00:16:25,331 --> 00:16:27,414
Hmm, Ms. Russell doesn't know
anything about boys.
335
00:16:27,415 --> 00:16:30,580
Okay, I meant your fellow students.
336
00:16:30,581 --> 00:16:33,331
You know, I knew you
wouldn't be any help.
337
00:16:33,873 --> 00:16:35,915
I should be collecting data
from my fellow students.
338
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,747
Well, I'm glad I couldn't help.
339
00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:42,747
Prompted by absolutely
nothing Mama Suze said,
340
00:16:42,748 --> 00:16:44,497
I decided the best course of action
341
00:16:44,498 --> 00:16:47,705
was to crowd‐source
the necessary intel from my peers.
342
00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:51,039
Do you consent to the recording of this
conversation for the purpose of data collection?
343
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,372
Um... sure, why not?
344
00:16:53,373 --> 00:16:55,914
You see, chicks like
their asses slapped.
345
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:58,997
And if they're making lots of noise,
you know they're super into it.
346
00:16:58,998 --> 00:17:00,955
The louder they are,
the more they want it.
347
00:17:00,956 --> 00:17:03,122
Um, I haven't had sex yet.
348
00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:06,955
But cheerleaders are the most
sexually exploited of all the sports,
349
00:17:06,956 --> 00:17:09,830
and therefore the most common object
of pursuit for your male classmates.
350
00:17:09,831 --> 00:17:11,664
How are you not getting laid all the time?
351
00:17:11,665 --> 00:17:14,247
I'm not discussing anything
of a sexual nature,
352
00:17:14,248 --> 00:17:19,039
but by saying the word "sexual" just now,
I did not mean to imply anything sexual.
353
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:21,164
Sex just isn't a priority for me.
354
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:23,372
Is that like code for "super Christian"?
355
00:17:23,373 --> 00:17:27,205
No, and despite what you've seen on TV,
we're not ruled by our libidos.
356
00:17:27,206 --> 00:17:29,164
Now my fave go‐to is the titty fuck.
357
00:17:29,165 --> 00:17:30,165
Oh!
358
00:17:30,166 --> 00:17:32,247
Squeeze 'em together... pow, pow, pow.
Yes!
359
00:17:32,248 --> 00:17:34,915
So, have either of you ever
so much as kissed a girl?
360
00:17:36,581 --> 00:17:37,664
I'm working on it.
361
00:17:37,665 --> 00:17:39,372
You're an exquisite physical specimen.
362
00:17:39,373 --> 00:17:41,830
How are you not putting
those moves to good use?
363
00:17:41,831 --> 00:17:43,955
Because I'm not Danica McCallum.
364
00:17:43,956 --> 00:17:45,330
I'm saving myself for Danica.
365
00:17:45,331 --> 00:17:48,330
Yeah, babe, you know
what the fuck is going on!
366
00:17:48,331 --> 00:17:51,289
Why don't you just
talk to Danica?
367
00:17:51,290 --> 00:17:53,915
Danica, Danica, Danica! Oh, Danica!
368
00:17:56,998 --> 00:18:00,040
Who was this mysterious sex goddess?
369
00:18:05,540 --> 00:18:07,498
♪ Dramatic music playing ♪
370
00:18:11,206 --> 00:18:12,747
Danica...
371
00:18:12,748 --> 00:18:14,372
Effin...
372
00:18:14,373 --> 00:18:15,622
McCallum.
373
00:18:15,623 --> 00:18:17,247
♪ They call me Miss Independence... ♪
374
00:18:17,248 --> 00:18:20,665
Jared, you're supposed to come
from stage left, you dumb fuck.
375
00:18:21,165 --> 00:18:25,331
If I was Frodo,
Danica was to be my Gandalf.
376
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,497
I've come.
377
00:18:27,498 --> 00:18:30,580
Yeah, that's definitely
the vibe you put out there.
378
00:18:30,581 --> 00:18:33,580
She was a mecca of sexual knowledge.
379
00:18:33,581 --> 00:18:37,205
She'd been with several types of guys
of every religious background.
380
00:18:37,206 --> 00:18:39,164
She'd seen so much cock,
381
00:18:39,165 --> 00:18:41,372
she actually had a preference
on length and girth.
382
00:18:41,373 --> 00:18:45,872
I like a solid 5‐and‐a‐half inches with
4‐and‐one‐quarter centimeters in diameter.
383
00:18:45,873 --> 00:18:49,164
That's about half a centimeter
larger than my vaginal canal
384
00:18:49,165 --> 00:18:50,830
so there's, like,
the right amount of pressure.
385
00:18:50,831 --> 00:18:53,706
What are you working with, like, 4 to 5?
386
00:18:54,581 --> 00:18:55,914
I don't know.
387
00:18:55,915 --> 00:18:59,330
Well, you gotta know.
Report back with measurements.
388
00:18:59,331 --> 00:19:00,581
Now let's talk Kegels.
389
00:19:01,706 --> 00:19:06,247
Okay, pretend like you're peeing
and you wanna stop that pee.
390
00:19:06,248 --> 00:19:07,415
So clench.
391
00:19:08,706 --> 00:19:10,623
Not your face but the cooch.
392
00:19:11,373 --> 00:19:13,165
It's not supposed to hurt. Breathe.
393
00:19:14,456 --> 00:19:16,830
Hold. Relax the face.
394
00:19:16,831 --> 00:19:18,080
Clench the cooter.
395
00:19:18,081 --> 00:19:20,123
And... release.
396
00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:23,164
Yeah, you gotta keep that shit tight
397
00:19:23,165 --> 00:19:25,164
or you're gonna need
a big dick for the rest of your life.
398
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:28,122
And trust me, those are hard to come by.
399
00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:29,247
Wow.
400
00:19:29,248 --> 00:19:31,330
Have you selected a fuck buddy yet?
401
00:19:31,331 --> 00:19:34,205
Excuse me?
Somebody to practice fuck.
402
00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:35,790
Oh, no, I have a boyfriend.
403
00:19:36,331 --> 00:19:38,122
This is for his benefit too.
404
00:19:38,123 --> 00:19:41,165
Look into it. This kind of
arrangement's quite equitable.
405
00:19:49,123 --> 00:19:51,123
♪
406
00:20:02,623 --> 00:20:04,330
...data and...
407
00:20:04,331 --> 00:20:06,706
Spock, how does one have good sex?
408
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:10,622
Based on current data,
good sex is achieved by
409
00:20:10,623 --> 00:20:12,747
Kegels, titty fuck,
410
00:20:12,748 --> 00:20:15,498
giving Danica McCallum a blow job.
411
00:20:17,748 --> 00:20:20,290
♪
412
00:20:26,123 --> 00:20:27,955
Hey, Spock, uh...
413
00:20:27,956 --> 00:20:31,497
what are the moral stances
on using a practice partner
414
00:20:31,498 --> 00:20:34,081
to enhance the experience
for the actual partner?
415
00:20:34,998 --> 00:20:37,455
Fuck nuts. Toilet face.
416
00:20:37,456 --> 00:20:40,206
♪ ...all I did is cry ♪
417
00:20:41,665 --> 00:20:44,164
♪ And I just can't take it no more ♪
418
00:20:44,165 --> 00:20:47,039
♪ What are you waiting for? ♪
419
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:48,414
♪ Just wanna try... ♪
420
00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:50,956
Like your guitar. Is that yours?
421
00:20:51,706 --> 00:20:54,497
Yes, of course it's hers.
Is that original?
422
00:20:54,498 --> 00:20:55,914
Hey, Larson! Hey!
423
00:20:55,915 --> 00:20:59,035
I need you to come over to my house and
hook up with me every day after school.
424
00:20:59,873 --> 00:21:01,039
What? Yeah.
425
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,789
You, me, sex stuff.
Are you in or are you out?
426
00:21:03,790 --> 00:21:04,956
O... kay.
427
00:21:07,206 --> 00:21:09,581
Yes, no? I'm... What are we...?
428
00:21:12,831 --> 00:21:14,165
What are you talking about?
429
00:21:14,790 --> 00:21:16,872
Oh, I'm gonna see Casper at STEMCON,
430
00:21:16,873 --> 00:21:19,539
which is at a hotel where we're
going to be staying in hotel rooms,
431
00:21:19,540 --> 00:21:21,997
and he's gonna wanna do sex stuff,
432
00:21:21,998 --> 00:21:25,955
and, you know, I've never done it
and I don't want to embarrass myself,
433
00:21:25,956 --> 00:21:29,539
so, I need someone to practice with
in a safe and exploratory environment,
434
00:21:29,540 --> 00:21:32,289
and since you and I have a history
of experimentation
435
00:21:32,290 --> 00:21:34,497
and scientific rapport, I chose you.
436
00:21:34,498 --> 00:21:36,747
Ah! Thank you.
437
00:21:36,748 --> 00:21:38,081
Yeah, you're welcome.
438
00:21:39,206 --> 00:21:41,747
Where are you...
Where are you going?
439
00:21:41,748 --> 00:21:42,955
Could you slow down, please?
440
00:21:42,956 --> 00:21:45,289
Okay, these are the things I need
to try and/or get better at.
441
00:21:45,290 --> 00:21:47,914
Kissing, fondling, hand jobs,
blow jobs, fingering.
442
00:21:47,915 --> 00:21:49,955
I wrote "butt stuff"
but then I crossed that out,
443
00:21:49,956 --> 00:21:51,955
dry humping and, hey,
that sounds like...
444
00:21:51,956 --> 00:21:53,831
Whoa, whoa, hey, slow down!
445
00:21:54,873 --> 00:21:55,956
Seriously?
446
00:21:56,415 --> 00:21:58,914
You fired me when I even got
remotely close to you.
447
00:21:58,915 --> 00:22:00,414
Oh! You Afterschool Special' d me.
448
00:22:00,415 --> 00:22:02,955
I was 14 and I was trying to kiss you.
449
00:22:02,956 --> 00:22:03,997
By groping me!
450
00:22:03,998 --> 00:22:06,539
I grazed your boob, it's a move,
451
00:22:06,540 --> 00:22:09,789
one I admit I executed poorly,
but I was nervous.
452
00:22:09,790 --> 00:22:11,330
It was my first almost kiss
453
00:22:11,331 --> 00:22:13,705
and you friend zone'd the shit out of me.
454
00:22:13,706 --> 00:22:16,206
So hard! You sent me to friend jail.
455
00:22:16,956 --> 00:22:19,164
Well, I'm letting you out on parole
456
00:22:19,165 --> 00:22:22,414
if you return to your position
as my test subject in this venture.
457
00:22:22,415 --> 00:22:24,289
How is this not cheating
on your boyfriend?
458
00:22:24,290 --> 00:22:25,497
No, I looked into it.
459
00:22:25,498 --> 00:22:27,539
This arrangement,
it's actually quite common.
460
00:22:27,540 --> 00:22:29,205
And let's be real,
how can I be exclusive
461
00:22:29,206 --> 00:22:30,747
with someone I've never
done anything with?
462
00:22:30,748 --> 00:22:34,955
So as long as we don't have sex
and there's no intimate feelings,
463
00:22:34,956 --> 00:22:35,956
it's fair play.
464
00:22:36,915 --> 00:22:38,456
Technically it's foreplay.
465
00:22:39,415 --> 00:22:41,122
That's bad. Yeah.
466
00:22:41,123 --> 00:22:42,164
So?
467
00:22:42,165 --> 00:22:44,039
I can't sexualize you.
468
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:46,455
I respect you too much for your brain,
469
00:22:46,456 --> 00:22:48,664
for your independence, for...
470
00:22:48,665 --> 00:22:50,580
My God. Oh.
471
00:22:50,581 --> 00:22:53,497
- Hmm?
- Look away, look away.
472
00:22:53,498 --> 00:22:56,455
So are you in?
I can't believe you just did that.
473
00:22:56,456 --> 00:22:59,136
Well, it proved to be an effective
cinematic tactic across genres.
474
00:22:59,956 --> 00:23:03,081
It's definitely tempting.
475
00:23:03,581 --> 00:23:05,789
But, I‐I... no.
476
00:23:05,790 --> 00:23:07,248
Cute girl looked at me today.
477
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:09,289
I'm 90% sure.
478
00:23:09,290 --> 00:23:11,205
I'm laying track to ask her
to prom right now,
479
00:23:11,206 --> 00:23:14,040
and I really can't have anything
throwing a wrench in that plan.
480
00:23:14,623 --> 00:23:18,205
Au contraire,
I'm offering you the multitool.
481
00:23:18,206 --> 00:23:20,455
Countless features
and mutually beneficial.
482
00:23:20,456 --> 00:23:23,539
I mean, if cute girl
ever fully looks at you,
483
00:23:23,540 --> 00:23:25,915
you wanna be ready on prom night, right?
484
00:23:29,331 --> 00:23:30,611
Please don't blow this for me.
485
00:23:31,290 --> 00:23:33,581
Technically I'll be blowing you.
Avery!
486
00:23:34,081 --> 00:23:36,748
Okay, your house, tomorrow, 3 p. m.
487
00:23:39,665 --> 00:23:40,706
Study that.
488
00:23:42,998 --> 00:23:45,373
Why is "butt stuff"
before "dry humping"?
489
00:23:47,290 --> 00:23:50,289
You know, so we'll follow the same
protocol as all our other experiments.
490
00:23:50,290 --> 00:23:54,580
And all the data will go straight
into the development of the AI,
491
00:23:54,581 --> 00:23:56,497
which I'll use to conceptualize my app,
492
00:23:56,498 --> 00:23:59,080
and then I've secured
my presentation for the challenge
493
00:23:59,081 --> 00:24:00,705
and prepared myself for STEM night,
494
00:24:00,706 --> 00:24:02,748
which, mind you, is in just 23 days.
495
00:24:03,373 --> 00:24:05,539
Questions?
You sure you want to do this?
496
00:24:05,540 --> 00:24:06,830
For Casper?
497
00:24:06,831 --> 00:24:08,372
For me.
498
00:24:08,373 --> 00:24:10,039
I may be a genius, but I imagine
499
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,580
I'll enjoy sex as much as
any other young adult.
500
00:24:12,581 --> 00:24:13,622
Okay then.
501
00:24:13,623 --> 00:24:16,247
Yeah, you seem to have mapped this
all out quite thoroughly.
502
00:24:16,248 --> 00:24:17,206
Obviously.
503
00:24:17,207 --> 00:24:20,830
So, our objective is
to master sexual excellence
504
00:24:20,831 --> 00:24:24,164
by putting research
and physical skill into practice.
505
00:24:24,165 --> 00:24:25,830
How?
506
00:24:25,831 --> 00:24:27,872
Crowd sourcing
and simulating that information.
507
00:24:27,873 --> 00:24:29,455
Cool. So I'm a simulator.
508
00:24:29,456 --> 00:24:32,330
Do I come with VR
or time travel capabilities?
509
00:24:32,331 --> 00:24:34,247
Simulation can involve real people.
510
00:24:34,248 --> 00:24:37,830
So I'm glad I'm a real person
as opposed to a non‐real person.
511
00:24:37,831 --> 00:24:39,955
Are you a real person?
Of course.
512
00:24:39,956 --> 00:24:42,290
Just with an advanced operating system.
513
00:24:43,331 --> 00:24:45,830
I have a hypothesis for our experiment.
514
00:24:45,831 --> 00:24:48,830
Hmm.
Love is what makes a good lover.
515
00:24:48,831 --> 00:24:50,747
Oh, well, I can already disprove that.
516
00:24:50,748 --> 00:24:53,914
Love and sex
are entirely different entities.
517
00:24:53,915 --> 00:24:56,080
You don't think that love leads
to sex and vice versa?
518
00:24:56,081 --> 00:24:57,830
Love is a choice. Right.
519
00:24:57,831 --> 00:24:59,247
Right. Right. Right?
520
00:24:59,248 --> 00:25:00,414
Right. Right.
521
00:25:00,415 --> 00:25:03,581
So... first on the list. Kissing.
522
00:25:04,831 --> 00:25:06,831
Although perhaps
it should have been fondling.
523
00:25:07,581 --> 00:25:09,789
No. No, kissing. Kissing, right?
524
00:25:09,790 --> 00:25:11,664
Okay, all right, I gotcha.
That's right.
525
00:25:11,665 --> 00:25:14,122
How's this to start, is this good?
526
00:25:14,123 --> 00:25:15,206
Oh.
527
00:25:15,956 --> 00:25:17,914
Yeah, okay, good.
528
00:25:17,915 --> 00:25:19,205
Now kiss me.
529
00:25:19,206 --> 00:25:20,955
You gonna sock me in the nuts?
530
00:25:20,956 --> 00:25:23,331
I have a good reflex.
Well, I need my nuts to work.
531
00:25:23,998 --> 00:25:25,838
Why would your nuts need
to work for kissing?
532
00:25:26,790 --> 00:25:27,830
Never mind.
533
00:25:27,831 --> 00:25:30,330
On three, I'm going
to lean in and kiss you, okay?
534
00:25:30,331 --> 00:25:32,748
Okay. Here we go.
535
00:25:34,540 --> 00:25:37,123
One, two, three.
536
00:25:38,540 --> 00:25:40,789
Hmm. Turns out I'm a leftie.
537
00:25:40,790 --> 00:25:42,248
Ah, yeah? All right.
538
00:25:49,373 --> 00:25:50,414
Not bad.
539
00:25:50,415 --> 00:25:52,497
Okay. Tongue.
540
00:25:52,498 --> 00:25:54,247
Sure. Cool.
541
00:25:54,248 --> 00:25:55,705
I'd like to scrape it first. ‐
542
00:25:55,706 --> 00:25:57,580
Dead cells can get trapped
in the enlarged papillae.
543
00:25:57,581 --> 00:25:58,997
Avery. It's gross. What?
544
00:25:58,998 --> 00:26:01,497
How about some music? Hmm?
545
00:26:01,498 --> 00:26:02,623
Sure.
546
00:26:10,873 --> 00:26:12,706
♪ Funky '70s music playing ♪
547
00:26:15,956 --> 00:26:17,290
What is this?
548
00:26:18,373 --> 00:26:19,706
You don't like it?
549
00:26:20,873 --> 00:26:22,956
No. It's not working for me.
550
00:26:23,706 --> 00:26:25,165
Yep, yes.
551
00:26:27,790 --> 00:26:31,914
♪ ...from his lips as he tells me
he can't get enough... ♪
552
00:26:31,915 --> 00:26:33,955
It's a little vampire love triangle,
isn't it?
553
00:26:33,956 --> 00:26:36,540
Hmm, next.
Yeah. It's not gonna...
554
00:26:40,956 --> 00:26:43,580
♪ Burl Ives singing
What Child is This? ♪
555
00:26:43,581 --> 00:26:45,455
Larson, what is this?
556
00:26:45,456 --> 00:26:47,539
In band, we play this
for the holiday concert.
557
00:26:47,540 --> 00:26:50,373
It's got a killer brass arrangement,
just wait for it.
558
00:26:51,373 --> 00:26:53,705
Forget it, it's fine, this is great.
It'll do.
559
00:26:53,706 --> 00:26:55,289
Yeah, yeah, okay, all right. Yeah.
560
00:26:55,290 --> 00:26:56,664
Okay.
561
00:26:56,665 --> 00:26:57,998
Yeah.
562
00:26:59,165 --> 00:27:04,372
♪ On Mary's lap is sleeping ♪
563
00:27:04,373 --> 00:27:07,164
♪ Whom angels greet ♪
564
00:27:07,165 --> 00:27:09,455
♪ With anthems sweet... ♪
565
00:27:09,456 --> 00:27:11,039
Hmm! Hmm‐mm.
566
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:12,164
Ow, my arm. Oh.
567
00:27:12,165 --> 00:27:14,914
Sorry, my arm is a little stuck. Um...
Sorry, sorry, yeah. Ah.
568
00:27:14,915 --> 00:27:16,539
Sorry, maybe we should...
Maybe, uh...
569
00:27:16,540 --> 00:27:18,873
Maybe we just lie here for a sec.
570
00:27:19,540 --> 00:27:21,498
Yeah.
571
00:27:31,540 --> 00:27:33,790
My building plan
for Fort Larson.
572
00:27:34,873 --> 00:27:37,122
Oh, yeah.
Brilliant engineering on your part.
573
00:27:37,123 --> 00:27:38,872
Epic construction on yours.
574
00:27:38,873 --> 00:27:40,247
We made a good team.
575
00:27:40,248 --> 00:27:43,080
Well, we had symbiosis.
576
00:27:43,081 --> 00:27:46,456
You're, uh... you're like
the Egyptian plover to my crocodile.
577
00:27:47,248 --> 00:27:48,623
What's a plover?
578
00:27:49,165 --> 00:27:51,872
Oh, it's like nature's dental assistant.
579
00:27:51,873 --> 00:27:55,747
It literally survives off the rot
it picks out of a crocodile's teeth.
580
00:27:55,748 --> 00:27:56,872
What?
581
00:27:56,873 --> 00:28:00,247
Why am I a mouth stank‐eating bird
instead of the crocodile?
582
00:28:00,248 --> 00:28:04,497
Look, you're a bad‐ass bird that lives
in the mouth of a Nile croc
583
00:28:04,498 --> 00:28:06,789
while simultaneously relieving tooth pain.
584
00:28:06,790 --> 00:28:08,123
Symbiosis.
585
00:28:08,706 --> 00:28:10,205
It's a... it's a win‐win.
586
00:28:10,206 --> 00:28:12,623
Yep. It's delicious.
587
00:28:13,831 --> 00:28:15,539
Fine. You're the crocodile.
588
00:28:15,540 --> 00:28:17,331
No, no, you're the crocodile.
589
00:28:17,956 --> 00:28:19,831
Saw that swamp tongue of yours.
590
00:28:22,415 --> 00:28:23,789
Grab a boob.
591
00:28:23,790 --> 00:28:25,664
Huh? Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
592
00:28:25,665 --> 00:28:26,955
Grab a boob.
593
00:28:26,956 --> 00:28:28,414
Ah, wha... which one?
594
00:28:28,415 --> 00:28:30,331
Just do it before I change my mind.
595
00:28:33,706 --> 00:28:35,748
Hmm? That's not bad.
596
00:28:36,665 --> 00:28:37,665
Um...
597
00:28:38,456 --> 00:28:41,706
maybe your hand goes under my shirt?
598
00:28:42,790 --> 00:28:44,455
Y‐You sure?
599
00:28:44,456 --> 00:28:45,747
Why not?
600
00:28:45,748 --> 00:28:50,205
I mean, we've already...
dipped our feet in the pool.
601
00:28:50,206 --> 00:28:51,248
Okay.
602
00:28:54,290 --> 00:28:55,665
Tickles.
603
00:28:58,123 --> 00:28:59,748
Nice.
604
00:29:00,998 --> 00:29:02,123
Um...
605
00:29:03,831 --> 00:29:05,122
Maybe...
606
00:29:05,123 --> 00:29:06,665
your head...
607
00:29:07,623 --> 00:29:09,165
Goes underwater?
608
00:29:12,248 --> 00:29:13,581
Yeah? Yeah.
609
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:20,914
This is crazy.
610
00:29:20,915 --> 00:29:23,206
♪ Playful orchestral music playing ♪
611
00:29:57,998 --> 00:29:59,206
Do you like that?
612
00:30:00,290 --> 00:30:01,290
Mm‐hmm.
613
00:30:02,290 --> 00:30:03,831
What about this?
614
00:30:04,581 --> 00:30:06,205
Whoa!
615
00:30:06,206 --> 00:30:07,580
What are you doing?
616
00:30:07,581 --> 00:30:08,997
Sorry, y‐you said that...
617
00:30:08,998 --> 00:30:11,330
Oh, yeah. No, no, no, sure.
Um, but...
618
00:30:11,331 --> 00:30:14,123
I forgot, I have, uh, homework to do.
619
00:30:15,123 --> 00:30:16,914
Sorry, I... really, I just...
No.
620
00:30:16,915 --> 00:30:18,705
You're fine. Just...
621
00:30:18,706 --> 00:30:21,747
No, with everything we talked about,
I wanted to make sure that...
622
00:30:21,748 --> 00:30:23,622
No, no, no, it's all good, all good.
Not that.
623
00:30:23,623 --> 00:30:26,165
Okay, as long as you feel‐‐
Okay, yep. Bye.
624
00:30:27,665 --> 00:30:30,706
♪ Upbeat music playing ♪
625
00:30:31,290 --> 00:30:33,580
It was just like our other experiments,
626
00:30:33,581 --> 00:30:37,206
so why did this somehow seem different?
627
00:30:44,581 --> 00:30:45,623
Hmm.
628
00:30:50,915 --> 00:30:53,580
Trial one, kissing,
and trial two, fondling,
629
00:30:53,581 --> 00:30:55,705
were both successful entrées
into foreplay,
630
00:30:55,706 --> 00:30:58,664
but trial three would first require
extensive intel
631
00:30:58,665 --> 00:31:01,248
on assorted dick stuff.
632
00:31:02,456 --> 00:31:04,205
So, what's your penis like?
633
00:31:04,206 --> 00:31:06,373
Real thick.
Long Dong Silver.
634
00:31:06,831 --> 00:31:10,872
No, uh, what does it like?
635
00:31:10,873 --> 00:31:13,372
A blow job. A blow job.
636
00:31:13,373 --> 00:31:17,039
'Cause you can't pull that off yourself.
I've tried.
637
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:18,330
Icy hot.
638
00:31:18,331 --> 00:31:21,622
To be spoken to like a sad little boy
who accidentally ruined Christmas.
639
00:31:21,623 --> 00:31:23,872
What? The fuck?
640
00:31:23,873 --> 00:31:24,873
What?
641
00:31:25,998 --> 00:31:28,664
If you wanna become
a dick‐sucking artist...
642
00:31:28,665 --> 00:31:30,414
You've gotta have
a strong hold on the base.
643
00:31:30,415 --> 00:31:33,080
This part, sensitive.
644
00:31:33,081 --> 00:31:36,705
A penis Picockso,
a Bonet, a Frida Cocklo.
645
00:31:36,706 --> 00:31:38,289
Then with the other hand,
646
00:31:38,290 --> 00:31:41,164
you come up gently over the top.
647
00:31:41,165 --> 00:31:42,372
It's all about the tip.
648
00:31:42,373 --> 00:31:44,622
This is where it gets good.
649
00:31:44,623 --> 00:31:46,872
Voilà! Pfft! Eww!
650
00:31:46,873 --> 00:31:49,039
No guy is splooging in my mouth.
651
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:50,706
Or on my face.
652
00:31:51,915 --> 00:31:52,873
Oh, that's hot.
653
00:31:52,874 --> 00:31:55,330
Why are we expected to act
like a dude's sperm
654
00:31:55,331 --> 00:31:58,080
is some sugary sweet nectar
from the gods?
655
00:31:58,081 --> 00:32:00,289
There's a reason they call it junk.
656
00:32:00,290 --> 00:32:03,373
It's not junk, it's something
my body works hard to produce.
657
00:32:05,331 --> 00:32:06,830
Thoughts on cradling?
658
00:32:06,831 --> 00:32:09,206
I do not consent to this conversation.
659
00:32:16,831 --> 00:32:20,289
Hey, let's say I successfully
perform oral to the point of ejaculation.
660
00:32:20,290 --> 00:32:22,205
Am I expected to swallow the discharge?
661
00:32:22,206 --> 00:32:24,456
Okay.
662
00:32:30,748 --> 00:32:32,830
The more the data kept pointing to it,
663
00:32:32,831 --> 00:32:36,081
the more I couldn't stop
thinking about "it."
664
00:32:36,748 --> 00:32:38,790
I was seeing them everywhere.
665
00:32:46,456 --> 00:32:49,415
These things are so hard to get off.
666
00:33:02,290 --> 00:33:04,081
I'm exploring a new series.
667
00:33:06,498 --> 00:33:08,539
This is my laughing clown nightmare.
668
00:33:08,540 --> 00:33:10,414
With dicks.
669
00:33:10,415 --> 00:33:13,330
Oh, Deb's just trying
to desensitize you.
670
00:33:13,331 --> 00:33:16,664
And she's the perfect source, too,
because she's never been with a man.
671
00:33:16,665 --> 00:33:19,580
The gold star is a badge I proudly wear.
672
00:33:19,581 --> 00:33:21,539
Okay, there's a diversity of options.
673
00:33:21,540 --> 00:33:25,289
You've got your lefties, your righties,
your straight shooters, your curvatures,
674
00:33:25,290 --> 00:33:27,830
and there are some
really veiny ones out there, Avery,
675
00:33:27,831 --> 00:33:28,956
just... keep that in mind.
676
00:33:30,123 --> 00:33:32,622
Are you some secret dick wizard, Kim?
677
00:33:32,623 --> 00:33:34,164
I saw a few in college.
678
00:33:34,165 --> 00:33:38,164
Terrifying skin pickles, but you gotta
try things to know what you want.
679
00:33:38,165 --> 00:33:39,580
Or don't want.
680
00:33:39,581 --> 00:33:42,372
Cool. I'll just be at Hometown Buffet
sampling the local beef.
681
00:33:42,373 --> 00:33:46,497
Okay, just remember, no matter the size,
it's the biggest you've ever seen.
682
00:33:46,498 --> 00:33:48,997
Oh, the fragile male ego.
683
00:33:48,998 --> 00:33:51,248
Women don't measure
the size of their pussy.
684
00:33:51,915 --> 00:33:53,790
Mine's 4.3 inches deep.
685
00:33:56,415 --> 00:33:58,372
Period, that was a breeze.
686
00:33:58,373 --> 00:34:02,165
The losing the virginity,
this is what we've been training for.
687
00:34:03,998 --> 00:34:05,455
Back to you! Yay!
688
00:34:05,456 --> 00:34:06,665
Got it.
689
00:34:07,165 --> 00:34:08,497
Dicks.
690
00:34:08,498 --> 00:34:11,664
Oh, my God.
What are you watching?
691
00:34:11,665 --> 00:34:15,164
Ride 'em, cowboy!
Oh, it's just... it was just on TV.
692
00:34:15,165 --> 00:34:17,830
Uh, that's not TV, that's porn.
693
00:34:17,831 --> 00:34:21,497
Now, how come a penis on screen
is considered porn,
694
00:34:21,498 --> 00:34:23,872
but breasts aren't?
695
00:34:23,873 --> 00:34:26,122
Interesting.
Well, I don't know.
696
00:34:26,123 --> 00:34:28,956
Maybe 'cause breasts aren't
ramming some chick in the ass.
697
00:34:29,665 --> 00:34:30,747
Language.
698
00:34:30,748 --> 00:34:32,956
This has Ma Deb written all over it.
699
00:34:33,498 --> 00:34:35,914
I told her this was a bit much.
700
00:34:35,915 --> 00:34:37,330
This is why I can't
tell you guys anything.
701
00:34:37,331 --> 00:34:40,330
You are right, this is, yecch!
702
00:34:40,331 --> 00:34:42,997
Actually, I don't...
I really don't like this kind of porn.
703
00:34:42,998 --> 00:34:45,205
I prefer a little softer.
704
00:34:45,206 --> 00:34:46,789
Mostly cuddling.
705
00:34:46,790 --> 00:34:48,080
And sharing feelings.
706
00:34:48,081 --> 00:34:49,997
Actually, I think I just like
documentaries.
707
00:34:49,998 --> 00:34:52,247
Do not condone this. Mm‐hmm.
708
00:34:52,248 --> 00:34:53,955
Learning how to have sex
by watching porn
709
00:34:53,956 --> 00:34:57,122
is like learning how to drive
by watching Fast and the Furious.
710
00:34:57,123 --> 00:35:00,123
♪ Energetic music playing ♪
711
00:35:05,415 --> 00:35:08,164
Okay, look, I just need to touch it.
I gotta get it over with.
712
00:35:08,165 --> 00:35:09,205
Jesus. Whip it out.
713
00:35:09,206 --> 00:35:10,247
Easy!
714
00:35:10,248 --> 00:35:13,872
He's shy, he needs a little pep talk
before he comes out of the dressing room.
715
00:35:13,873 --> 00:35:15,123
Oh, mm‐hmm, okay.
716
00:35:16,081 --> 00:35:20,664
This is your moment to step
into your light and share your talent.
717
00:35:20,665 --> 00:35:23,080
The world is ready for you to shine.
718
00:35:23,081 --> 00:35:26,080
Avery, maybe try with your hand?
719
00:35:26,081 --> 00:35:27,415
Yeah. Okay.
720
00:35:35,498 --> 00:35:37,539
Oh. Hey. Oh!
721
00:35:37,540 --> 00:35:38,872
Oh, it jumped.
722
00:35:38,873 --> 00:35:40,622
Yeah... Uh...
723
00:35:40,623 --> 00:35:43,414
Hey there.
724
00:35:43,415 --> 00:35:46,415
Just kind of popped out
to say hello, huh?
725
00:35:47,456 --> 00:35:50,497
Aww!
No, don't "aww," you can't do that.
726
00:35:50,498 --> 00:35:52,164
Oh, no, it's nice.
727
00:35:52,165 --> 00:35:54,455
And, you know, kind of sweet.
728
00:35:54,456 --> 00:35:55,997
Like an enoki.
729
00:35:55,998 --> 00:35:57,539
You know, the mushrooms.
730
00:35:57,540 --> 00:35:58,914
Oh, no.
731
00:35:58,915 --> 00:36:00,872
Oh, no, no, no, no.
It's going down.
732
00:36:00,873 --> 00:36:03,997
Yeah.
Uh, the show is not over.
733
00:36:03,998 --> 00:36:05,664
Rise for your encore.
734
00:36:05,665 --> 00:36:07,747
Oh, my God, I can't
believe that's working.
735
00:36:07,748 --> 00:36:10,206
Uh, maybe a little louder
and a little closer.
736
00:36:12,290 --> 00:36:15,373
All right, buddy, you've got this.
I believe in you.
737
00:36:16,748 --> 00:36:18,915
Are you ready?
I was born ready.
738
00:36:21,373 --> 00:36:22,581
Ready.
739
00:36:26,206 --> 00:36:27,372
How's that?
740
00:36:27,373 --> 00:36:30,289
Oh, actually, a little less pressure.
741
00:36:30,290 --> 00:36:31,580
Copy.
742
00:36:31,581 --> 00:36:33,581
Uh... less pressure.
743
00:36:37,290 --> 00:36:38,705
Yes.
744
00:36:38,706 --> 00:36:39,956
Oh, yeah.
745
00:36:40,456 --> 00:36:41,789
Oh!
746
00:36:41,790 --> 00:36:42,831
It's working!
747
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:45,955
Your pulse is racing.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
748
00:36:45,956 --> 00:36:47,164
That's normal.
749
00:36:47,165 --> 00:36:50,247
Ah, yeah.
750
00:36:50,248 --> 00:36:52,414
Hey, is everything okay?
751
00:36:52,415 --> 00:36:54,705
Everything's great, really great!
752
00:36:54,706 --> 00:36:56,706
Oh! Whoa!
753
00:36:57,248 --> 00:36:58,664
Heads up for... Takeoff?
754
00:36:58,665 --> 00:36:59,705
Yep!
755
00:36:59,706 --> 00:37:01,081
Whoa!
756
00:37:04,081 --> 00:37:06,664
Oh! Oh!
757
00:37:06,665 --> 00:37:08,248
Stay on course!
758
00:37:09,956 --> 00:37:11,372
It's happening!
759
00:37:11,373 --> 00:37:12,665
Whoa! Ahh!
760
00:37:13,373 --> 00:37:17,248
- Yeahhhhhh...
- Oh, shit!
761
00:37:24,165 --> 00:37:25,455
Avery?
762
00:37:25,456 --> 00:37:26,914
Yeah?
763
00:37:26,915 --> 00:37:29,122
Thanks.
764
00:37:29,123 --> 00:37:30,540
Hmm. Mm‐hmm.
765
00:37:34,331 --> 00:37:36,248
Do you want me to return the favor?
766
00:37:38,206 --> 00:37:39,664
Uh...
767
00:37:39,665 --> 00:37:40,705
Yeah.
768
00:37:40,706 --> 00:37:41,789
Okay.
769
00:37:41,790 --> 00:37:43,040
Okay.
770
00:37:44,248 --> 00:37:45,665
So, what do you like?
771
00:37:48,456 --> 00:37:49,830
Uh...
772
00:37:49,831 --> 00:37:53,915
You know what, actually, I think we can
call today's experiment a success.
773
00:37:55,206 --> 00:37:57,955
Uh, we've hit a very important part
in the engineering process
774
00:37:57,956 --> 00:37:59,747
in which one assesses the data,
775
00:37:59,748 --> 00:38:02,330
and so I'll go analyze that
and get back to you.
776
00:38:02,331 --> 00:38:04,914
Wait, wait, where are you going?
I thought I was going to return the favor.
777
00:38:04,915 --> 00:38:07,455
Why? We achieved foreplay.
778
00:38:07,456 --> 00:38:09,497
Yeah, for me.
779
00:38:09,498 --> 00:38:12,872
But getting a guy off
isn't rocket science.
780
00:38:12,873 --> 00:38:15,789
It's only a successful mission
if we both enjoy it.
781
00:38:15,790 --> 00:38:17,247
I had a great time.
782
00:38:17,248 --> 00:38:20,330
No, I mean, I want to get you off too.
783
00:38:20,331 --> 00:38:23,790
I mean, that's sort of how you know
it went well, if we both do, right?
784
00:38:24,540 --> 00:38:26,455
That's really sweet.
785
00:38:26,456 --> 00:38:27,997
Avery!
786
00:38:27,998 --> 00:38:30,997
Larson knew what he liked, but I didn't.
787
00:38:30,998 --> 00:38:33,330
How could I create
an app that provides users
788
00:38:33,331 --> 00:38:37,330
with steps to take to achieve good sex
if I didn't even know what I liked?
789
00:38:37,331 --> 00:38:39,830
A critical gap in my data.
790
00:38:39,831 --> 00:38:42,539
With STEMCON around the corner,
I needed to consult
791
00:38:42,540 --> 00:38:44,540
the ultimate expert in teen sexuality.
792
00:38:47,623 --> 00:38:50,290
So... you've never touched yourself.
793
00:38:51,290 --> 00:38:52,705
What about when you wipe?
794
00:38:52,706 --> 00:38:54,539
I'm not doing it with my bare hand.
795
00:38:54,540 --> 00:38:56,790
Dude, are you fucking serious?
796
00:38:59,290 --> 00:39:00,580
Did you measure?
797
00:39:00,581 --> 00:39:01,997
It wasn't for pleasure.
798
00:39:01,998 --> 00:39:04,247
Mid force? Roughly.
799
00:39:04,248 --> 00:39:06,747
Okay, good.
Have you ever heard of a dildo?
800
00:39:06,748 --> 00:39:08,580
Have I heard of a dildo?
801
00:39:08,581 --> 00:39:09,998
♪ Funky music playing ♪
802
00:39:16,290 --> 00:39:18,081
Avery!
803
00:39:18,665 --> 00:39:21,414
Debra, have you seen my magic wand?
804
00:39:21,415 --> 00:39:24,581
More than meets the eye!
805
00:39:25,248 --> 00:39:27,040
- Eye!
- God dang it, Avery!
806
00:39:27,956 --> 00:39:31,790
I have a fundamental bias
against vibrators.
807
00:39:33,081 --> 00:39:35,997
I would just want to be able
to operate my own machinery.
808
00:39:35,998 --> 00:39:38,498
Every captain should know how
to steer her own ship.
809
00:39:39,081 --> 00:39:40,122
Hot tip.
810
00:39:40,123 --> 00:39:43,914
When testing the waters,
Jacuzzi jets are the way to go.
811
00:39:43,915 --> 00:39:45,330
Just do some exploring.
812
00:39:45,331 --> 00:39:47,247
I'm like the Voyager.
813
00:39:47,248 --> 00:39:49,540
You can't work in a vacuum.
814
00:39:49,956 --> 00:39:53,331
This is gonna require
physical and mental stimulation.
815
00:39:54,540 --> 00:39:57,830
It's like how Wonder Woman
was given all this training,
816
00:39:57,831 --> 00:40:00,705
but it wasn't until she was able
to channel her mental power
817
00:40:00,706 --> 00:40:03,580
into her physical abilities that she
was able to defeat her opponents.
818
00:40:03,581 --> 00:40:05,955
Uh... yeah, sure.
819
00:40:05,956 --> 00:40:07,789
I'm just saying like...
820
00:40:07,790 --> 00:40:10,373
try to picture your object of desire.
821
00:40:10,998 --> 00:40:12,372
Right.
822
00:40:12,373 --> 00:40:14,081
Could I offer a suggestion?
823
00:40:14,915 --> 00:40:16,040
Coconut oil.
824
00:40:16,623 --> 00:40:18,330
Mama Suze cooks with that.
825
00:40:18,331 --> 00:40:21,747
It's all natural, moisturizing,
a delightful lubricant.
826
00:40:21,748 --> 00:40:22,790
Avery...
827
00:40:23,790 --> 00:40:25,706
go home and do some finger painting.
828
00:40:36,248 --> 00:40:37,415
Okay.
829
00:40:41,248 --> 00:40:43,623
♪ Ringtone playing ♪
Oh, no, no.
830
00:40:44,248 --> 00:40:45,830
Well, hello. Shit.
831
00:40:45,831 --> 00:40:47,997
Con's coming up, I can't wait.
Hey.
832
00:40:47,998 --> 00:40:50,580
Your response time suggests that
your fingers are equally excited
833
00:40:50,581 --> 00:40:52,622
to explore our respective functionality.
834
00:40:52,623 --> 00:40:54,539
What presentation group
were you assigned to?
835
00:40:54,540 --> 00:40:57,539
Uh, day two, morning group.
836
00:40:57,540 --> 00:40:59,205
Ooh, strong open.
837
00:40:59,206 --> 00:41:01,081
I'm day one, late show.
838
00:41:01,706 --> 00:41:03,205
Want a preview?
839
00:41:03,206 --> 00:41:06,622
Oh, wouldn't you rather
just relish in anticipation?
840
00:41:06,623 --> 00:41:09,622
Genius. Can't wait to see
yours in two weeks.
841
00:41:09,623 --> 00:41:10,790
Mm, yep, me too.
842
00:41:12,165 --> 00:41:13,998
♪ Energetic music playing ♪
843
00:41:20,081 --> 00:41:21,540
Ooh!
844
00:41:24,540 --> 00:41:26,290
Uncharted waters.
845
00:41:30,290 --> 00:41:33,872
♪ Pop orchestra playing '50s ballad ♪
846
00:41:33,873 --> 00:41:35,873
♪
847
00:41:42,206 --> 00:41:43,915
Why, hello there, Avery.
848
00:41:44,748 --> 00:41:48,830
I just finished my research paper
on toxic algae bloom,
849
00:41:48,831 --> 00:41:51,331
and it's getting awfully hot in here.
850
00:41:52,290 --> 00:41:53,747
Ooh!
851
00:41:53,748 --> 00:41:56,122
♪ Avery, baby ♪
852
00:41:56,123 --> 00:41:59,747
♪ You're driving me crazy ♪
853
00:41:59,748 --> 00:42:02,830
♪ My soul innovator ♪
854
00:42:02,831 --> 00:42:06,122
♪ Our love calculator ♪
855
00:42:06,123 --> 00:42:09,164
♪ Says you plus me ♪
856
00:42:09,165 --> 00:42:13,706
♪ Equals mad sexy ♪
857
00:42:15,790 --> 00:42:17,706
♪ Ooh‐ooh... ♪
858
00:42:20,956 --> 00:42:23,872
Oh! It burns!
Oh, it burns, burns, burns!
859
00:42:23,873 --> 00:42:25,872
Flush warning next time!
860
00:42:25,873 --> 00:42:27,331
Sorry.
861
00:42:34,498 --> 00:42:37,664
'Sup?
Nothing. I'm behind on my presentation.
862
00:42:37,665 --> 00:42:40,164
STEMCON's around the corner,
and I still haven't figured out
863
00:42:40,165 --> 00:42:42,664
the algorithm to provide
a successful outcome.
864
00:42:42,665 --> 00:42:44,789
Yeah, thought that was
why you were coming over,
865
00:42:44,790 --> 00:42:46,664
so you could get all that data?
866
00:42:46,665 --> 00:42:49,539
Yeah, well, I'm blocked, so it's moot.
867
00:42:49,540 --> 00:42:52,164
Hey, what happened to all that
symbiosis we had going on?
868
00:42:52,165 --> 00:42:55,747
Open up that croc trap of yours
and let me peck around.
869
00:42:55,748 --> 00:42:57,664
So you admit you're the plover.
870
00:42:57,665 --> 00:42:58,831
If it's working.
871
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:01,956
Hmm. Nothing's working.
872
00:43:02,956 --> 00:43:04,872
Maybe you're too in your head.
873
00:43:04,873 --> 00:43:06,372
Where else would I be?
874
00:43:06,373 --> 00:43:08,830
No, I mean, maybe
you're thinking too much
875
00:43:08,831 --> 00:43:10,872
about something that should
happen more naturally.
876
00:43:10,873 --> 00:43:14,830
I don't know, I mean, maybe...
talk me through what you do?
877
00:43:14,831 --> 00:43:16,039
How do you get there?
878
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:18,122
Are you suggesting we have phone sex?
879
00:43:18,123 --> 00:43:19,415
Am I?
880
00:43:20,415 --> 00:43:21,790
Should we?
881
00:43:22,790 --> 00:43:23,873
Do you know how?
882
00:43:24,665 --> 00:43:28,372
Maybe. I... I think I'm supposed to say
a bunch of stuff to turn you on.
883
00:43:28,373 --> 00:43:29,581
Okay.
884
00:43:31,790 --> 00:43:33,247
Go! Uh...
885
00:43:33,248 --> 00:43:34,705
Jeez, uh...
886
00:43:34,706 --> 00:43:37,165
Uh, how's, uh...
887
00:43:40,665 --> 00:43:42,164
Wait, Vulcan?
888
00:43:42,165 --> 00:43:44,456
Larson, no way.
889
00:43:45,540 --> 00:43:47,039
Very impressed.
890
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:47,956
Yeah.
891
00:43:47,957 --> 00:43:50,790
Th‐There was an online tutorial.
Yeah, it's impressive.
892
00:43:51,665 --> 00:43:53,872
But, uh... ineffective.
893
00:43:53,873 --> 00:43:55,580
Are you judging yourself?
894
00:43:55,581 --> 00:43:57,622
Oh, right.
895
00:43:57,623 --> 00:43:58,873
Okay, hang on.
896
00:44:00,956 --> 00:44:02,081
Ah.
897
00:44:03,290 --> 00:44:04,706
Okay, continue.
898
00:44:08,165 --> 00:44:09,539
Sexy.
899
00:44:09,540 --> 00:44:11,830
Nothin'.
900
00:44:11,831 --> 00:44:13,580
God, what am I doing wrong?
901
00:44:13,581 --> 00:44:15,455
No, maybe it's my Vulcan.
902
00:44:15,456 --> 00:44:17,664
I should just recite the periodic table.
903
00:44:17,665 --> 00:44:19,164
Ha, ha.
904
00:44:19,165 --> 00:44:20,831
Or name an element after you.
905
00:44:23,623 --> 00:44:25,747
Wait... Say that again?
906
00:44:25,748 --> 00:44:29,248
There should be an element
on the periodic table named after you?
907
00:44:30,540 --> 00:44:33,497
Uh, a never‐before‐seen metal.
908
00:44:33,498 --> 00:44:34,956
Avery Namium.
909
00:44:36,456 --> 00:44:38,790
Well, there... there was a tingle.
910
00:44:39,456 --> 00:44:42,247
Keep going.
Th‐This new element...
911
00:44:42,248 --> 00:44:45,039
uh, you found it on your voyage to Mars.
912
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:48,165
I went to Mars?
After you graduated from MIT.
913
00:44:50,123 --> 00:44:51,414
Summa cum laude?
914
00:44:51,415 --> 00:44:53,789
Oh, yeah, and you got this grant.
915
00:44:53,790 --> 00:44:55,455
I got a research grant? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
916
00:44:55,456 --> 00:44:59,705
So they sent you to Mars, and because
of this whole new element thing,
917
00:44:59,706 --> 00:45:02,289
the capital of Mars is now Averyopolis.
918
00:45:02,290 --> 00:45:04,830
Yeah?
Yeah. A thriving new colony.
919
00:45:04,831 --> 00:45:07,414
And you're their leader,
and it's a super chill place
920
00:45:07,415 --> 00:45:11,289
so no surprise, you were awarded
a Nobel Peace Prize.
921
00:45:11,290 --> 00:45:12,830
Oh, my God! Yeah.
922
00:45:12,831 --> 00:45:15,580
Oh, my God, oh, yeah.
Yeah, this is working.
923
00:45:15,581 --> 00:45:17,789
Are you there?
Oh, almost there.
924
00:45:17,790 --> 00:45:19,956
Y‐You'll win STEMCON, STEM awards.
925
00:45:21,206 --> 00:45:22,622
Oh, fuck!
926
00:45:22,623 --> 00:45:24,164
Oh, God, oh, no.
927
00:45:24,165 --> 00:45:27,330
Okay, I'm losing it, I'm losing it.
Avery? You there?
928
00:45:27,331 --> 00:45:28,705
Yeah.
929
00:45:28,706 --> 00:45:30,914
Yeah, no, it's, that's gone.
930
00:45:30,915 --> 00:45:31,915
Mm.
931
00:45:36,248 --> 00:45:38,080
STEM night was a week away
932
00:45:38,081 --> 00:45:41,581
and I had yet to crack the code
for my night with Casper, or my app.
933
00:45:42,665 --> 00:45:46,164
All right, people.
Insights on female pleasure. Go.
934
00:45:46,165 --> 00:45:49,497
I just want to point out that if I ever
said anything like that to you,
935
00:45:49,498 --> 00:45:51,164
I'd be so canceled.
936
00:45:51,165 --> 00:45:54,289
Okay, clearly, since I'm the only one
here who's actually been with a girl,
937
00:45:54,290 --> 00:45:55,747
I'll take this one.
938
00:45:55,748 --> 00:45:59,289
Tell your partner to enjoy you
like an ice cream cone that's melting.
939
00:45:59,290 --> 00:46:01,747
Catch every last drop.
940
00:46:01,748 --> 00:46:03,039
Maybe he doesn't do dairy.
941
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:05,247
Hmm. Okay, does he like
to do the crossword?
942
00:46:05,248 --> 00:46:07,247
Be surprised if he didn't,
everyone does.
943
00:46:07,248 --> 00:46:10,164
Have him fill out the boxes
with a pointy tongue going across
944
00:46:10,165 --> 00:46:11,414
and a flat one going down.
945
00:46:11,415 --> 00:46:13,664
Ah, la‐la‐la‐la‐la‐la!
Oh, my God, Troy!
946
00:46:13,665 --> 00:46:16,164
I'm like destroying this equation
up here and you're missing it.
947
00:46:16,165 --> 00:46:17,705
Just be less, 'kay?
948
00:46:17,706 --> 00:46:19,914
Okay, we're going to put that
over a negative three...
949
00:46:19,915 --> 00:46:22,164
All right. Other techniques?
950
00:46:22,165 --> 00:46:23,456
Tactics?
951
00:46:24,748 --> 00:46:25,790
Frank?
952
00:46:26,831 --> 00:46:29,955
There's a common misconception that
most women climax from penetrative sex,
953
00:46:29,956 --> 00:46:31,955
but statistics show
that 75% of women
954
00:46:31,956 --> 00:46:33,955
can't achieve orgasm
from penetration alone.
955
00:46:33,956 --> 00:46:37,122
Stimulating the clitoris
and other erogenous zones is key.
956
00:46:37,123 --> 00:46:38,205
Damn.
957
00:46:38,206 --> 00:46:40,330
And how does one locate said e‐zones?
958
00:46:40,331 --> 00:46:43,789
My cousin said that it's best to think
of your body like a game of Twister
959
00:46:43,790 --> 00:46:45,705
and eventually you'll find the spot.
960
00:46:45,706 --> 00:46:49,289
Avery, look at me.
Your body is a Costco, okay?
961
00:46:49,290 --> 00:46:51,080
You're trying
all these different samples, right?
962
00:46:51,081 --> 00:46:54,289
You're trying all these different samples.
Oop! Uh‐oh. You found the one.
963
00:46:54,290 --> 00:46:56,747
Okay, but where
are the sample booths located?
964
00:46:56,748 --> 00:46:58,830
Avery, I cannot tell you everything.
Jesus.
965
00:46:58,831 --> 00:47:01,580
If I may, the G depends
largely on the individual,
966
00:47:01,581 --> 00:47:03,497
but there are a certain number
of other erogenous zones
967
00:47:03,498 --> 00:47:05,789
that occur across genders
and sexual preferences,
968
00:47:05,790 --> 00:47:09,205
including toes, neck, ear, butt,
behind the knees, elbows.
969
00:47:09,206 --> 00:47:10,539
The partner‐pleasure approaches.
970
00:47:10,540 --> 00:47:13,164
The rock‐and‐roll, the surf's up,
the double‐action revolver,
971
00:47:13,165 --> 00:47:15,580
the Spock, the reverse Spock,
the devil's advocate.
972
00:47:15,581 --> 00:47:17,747
I'll email you a list later.
Damn!
973
00:47:17,748 --> 00:47:19,455
Oh, no, no.
974
00:47:19,456 --> 00:47:21,872
Why does pleasing women
gotta be so complicated?
975
00:47:21,873 --> 00:47:22,873
I can orgasm.
976
00:47:24,415 --> 00:47:26,165
Right here, right now.
977
00:47:29,540 --> 00:47:31,789
If I did that, I'd be suspended.
978
00:47:31,790 --> 00:47:33,122
I would be suspended!
979
00:47:33,123 --> 00:47:36,622
Oh, my God, Troy, you so will be.
Okay, just take it down or take it out.
980
00:47:36,623 --> 00:47:38,372
Uh, Ms. Russell? Yeah, baby.
981
00:47:38,373 --> 00:47:39,872
Hi, mama. Uh...
982
00:47:39,873 --> 00:47:41,622
Let's say Avery needs to solve for C.
983
00:47:41,623 --> 00:47:43,789
Ooh, participation! Yes!
984
00:47:43,790 --> 00:47:45,497
But doesn't Avery also need
to solve for G?
985
00:47:45,498 --> 00:47:47,080
Isn't G the super proof?
986
00:47:47,081 --> 00:47:48,747
But to solve for C and G,
987
00:47:48,748 --> 00:47:50,872
should she maybe also solve for A too?
988
00:47:50,873 --> 00:47:52,080
Ooh! Whoa, whoa!
989
00:47:52,081 --> 00:47:54,330
Excuse me, some of us
like to solve for A.
990
00:47:54,331 --> 00:47:56,705
Oh, for sure, A is great, guys.
991
00:47:56,706 --> 00:47:58,873
I love you, Ms. Russell.
Everyone loves a pinkie.
992
00:47:59,956 --> 00:48:02,414
Everybody.
What about B squared?
993
00:48:02,415 --> 00:48:04,247
Oh, my God, loves B squared,
994
00:48:04,248 --> 00:48:06,414
but we save that for our boy quadratic
995
00:48:06,415 --> 00:48:08,997
when B squared is on top of 2A.
996
00:48:08,998 --> 00:48:10,539
Yeah, she is!
997
00:48:10,540 --> 00:48:12,914
You know, I do really love
the triangle angle sum theorem,
998
00:48:12,915 --> 00:48:15,330
because we get
the all‐powerful isosceles.
999
00:48:15,331 --> 00:48:16,873
Mm, preach!
1000
00:48:18,123 --> 00:48:19,498
- Ooh!
- Avery.
1001
00:48:20,081 --> 00:48:23,540
Let's say movement occurs
at the intersection of the angles.
1002
00:48:24,331 --> 00:48:26,122
How would we solve for G?
1003
00:48:26,123 --> 00:48:28,373
We're talking magnitude, huh? Okay.
1004
00:48:28,956 --> 00:48:32,914
We're going to need a vector that
starts at D and goes deep into G.
1005
00:48:32,915 --> 00:48:33,831
Yeah, we do.
1006
00:48:33,832 --> 00:48:36,080
Now, it doesn't matter how big
this vector is or how long,
1007
00:48:36,081 --> 00:48:37,372
what matters is the angle, okay?
1008
00:48:37,373 --> 00:48:38,497
The angle!
1009
00:48:38,498 --> 00:48:41,372
- Marla? You good there, boo?
- She's really doing it.
1010
00:48:41,373 --> 00:48:43,580
Yes, yes...
1011
00:48:43,581 --> 00:48:45,164
Yes!
1012
00:48:45,165 --> 00:48:46,705
Yes!
1013
00:48:46,706 --> 00:48:48,205
Yes!
1014
00:48:48,206 --> 00:48:51,039
You have sufficient
data to achieve orgasm.
1015
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:52,873
Yes!
1016
00:48:53,915 --> 00:48:56,372
They grow up so fast.
I know. Go get 'em, girl.
1017
00:48:56,373 --> 00:48:59,081
Take the test next week. ‐
1018
00:49:00,248 --> 00:49:01,539
Ooh!
1019
00:49:01,540 --> 00:49:05,330
Oh, shit, sorry. Sorry about that.
Oh, you're all good.
1020
00:49:05,331 --> 00:49:07,664
These, uh, blank corners
will get you every time.
1021
00:49:07,665 --> 00:49:09,914
What? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
1022
00:49:09,915 --> 00:49:12,622
Um, you play the trombone, right?
1023
00:49:12,623 --> 00:49:14,872
We have band together? Uh‐huh.
1024
00:49:14,873 --> 00:49:16,955
I thought so. Um... I'm...
Hey!
1025
00:49:16,956 --> 00:49:17,873
Larson.
1026
00:49:17,874 --> 00:49:20,247
Uh, we have that, um...
1027
00:49:20,248 --> 00:49:21,248
paper?
1028
00:49:23,081 --> 00:49:24,955
Yeah, um, sorry.
1029
00:49:24,956 --> 00:49:27,414
Uh, I'll see you in band. There you go.
1030
00:49:27,415 --> 00:49:29,331
Okay, thank you. Yeah, bye.
1031
00:49:29,831 --> 00:49:31,790
Hey, I‐No.
1032
00:49:33,748 --> 00:49:35,872
I can't believe I didn't figure it out,
you know.
1033
00:49:35,873 --> 00:49:38,247
It's the chemistry plus the geometry.
1034
00:49:38,248 --> 00:49:40,289
You solve for G,
you trigger a dopamine receptor
1035
00:49:40,290 --> 00:49:42,330
so then the dopamine floods your body
in chemical ecstasy.
1036
00:49:42,331 --> 00:49:45,372
Marla can do it. She did it in class.
You should have seen it.
1037
00:49:45,373 --> 00:49:46,914
But I'm not that skilled.
1038
00:49:46,915 --> 00:49:49,205
That's okay, I think I get
what you're saying.
1039
00:49:49,206 --> 00:49:52,497
But you know how it's always more
satisfying if someone else rubs your feet?
1040
00:49:52,498 --> 00:49:53,915
Okay, great.
1041
00:49:54,873 --> 00:49:56,373
Rub my proverbial feet.
1042
00:50:01,331 --> 00:50:02,623
Here we go.
1043
00:50:03,081 --> 00:50:04,415
Godspeed.
1044
00:50:06,373 --> 00:50:10,205
♪ Like yeah, we so amazin'
yeah, we do it like that ♪
1045
00:50:10,206 --> 00:50:13,081
Am I in the right place?
Yep. Keep going.
1046
00:50:16,081 --> 00:50:18,955
Oh, my God!
1047
00:50:18,956 --> 00:50:21,998
♪ Like yeah, yeah, we the greatest... ♪
1048
00:50:22,790 --> 00:50:23,914
This good?
1049
00:50:23,915 --> 00:50:26,122
Do you feel that?
Oh, this is great.
1050
00:50:26,123 --> 00:50:27,539
That's nice.
1051
00:50:27,540 --> 00:50:28,830
Go a little to the left.
1052
00:50:28,831 --> 00:50:29,831
My left? My left.
1053
00:50:30,706 --> 00:50:32,580
Oh, no, sorry, sorry. Your left.
1054
00:50:32,581 --> 00:50:34,330
Oh, wait.
1055
00:50:34,331 --> 00:50:36,455
I'm learning a lot of things.
1056
00:50:36,456 --> 00:50:37,872
Like this? Like that?
1057
00:50:37,873 --> 00:50:39,206
Faster, yeah.
1058
00:50:39,998 --> 00:50:43,248
Yeah... yeah!
1059
00:50:44,873 --> 00:50:46,622
What... What was that?
1060
00:50:46,623 --> 00:50:48,289
This spot's speaking to me,
is it speaking to you?
1061
00:50:48,290 --> 00:50:50,705
Yeah, no, move. Whoa!
1062
00:50:50,706 --> 00:50:53,205
Wait a minute, where are you going?
It's a lot to take in, you know?
1063
00:50:53,206 --> 00:50:54,372
Wow... Wow!
1064
00:50:54,373 --> 00:50:56,290
Am I close? Oh, you sure are.
1065
00:50:56,998 --> 00:50:59,248
Whoa! Think I found it.
1066
00:51:00,706 --> 00:51:01,747
You like that?
1067
00:51:01,748 --> 00:51:03,497
Oh, I like what you're doing down there.
1068
00:51:03,498 --> 00:51:04,915
Yeah?
1069
00:51:05,915 --> 00:51:07,830
Should I keep going?
Don't stop.
1070
00:51:07,831 --> 00:51:09,581
This feel good? Trying to get in.
1071
00:51:10,456 --> 00:51:12,080
Go faster.
1072
00:51:12,081 --> 00:51:13,997
Oh, yeah, looks like
we're getting close.
1073
00:51:13,998 --> 00:51:16,955
Something's happening.
Oh, something's definitely happening.
1074
00:51:16,956 --> 00:51:18,789
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1075
00:51:18,790 --> 00:51:21,123
Should I?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, go, go, go.
1076
00:51:24,581 --> 00:51:25,789
Oh!
1077
00:51:25,790 --> 00:51:28,206
♪ Epic orchestral music playing ♪
1078
00:51:40,956 --> 00:51:44,206
Ooh!
1079
00:51:52,706 --> 00:51:54,040
Wow!
1080
00:52:00,581 --> 00:52:01,956
How was that?
1081
00:52:02,581 --> 00:52:03,831
Wow!
1082
00:52:11,831 --> 00:52:13,455
Sex Appeal.
1083
00:52:13,456 --> 00:52:14,748
Hmm?
1084
00:52:15,373 --> 00:52:17,040
That's what I'm gonna name my app.
1085
00:52:18,456 --> 00:52:19,997
Oh. Great.
1086
00:52:19,998 --> 00:52:23,039
Yeah, yeah, just sometimes you have
to take your head off of something.
1087
00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:24,748
Yeah, or keep it down.
1088
00:52:26,248 --> 00:52:29,997
One in three women have trouble
reaching orgasm while having sex.
1089
00:52:29,998 --> 00:52:33,997
29% of women ages 16 to 17
are actually having sex,
1090
00:52:33,998 --> 00:52:35,914
which meant that
without even having sex,
1091
00:52:35,915 --> 00:52:37,164
I was already in the top third
1092
00:52:37,165 --> 00:52:39,080
of the third who reached
sexual achievement.
1093
00:52:39,081 --> 00:52:40,497
My first orgasm.
1094
00:52:40,498 --> 00:52:42,331
I'd finally become a woman.
1095
00:52:43,915 --> 00:52:45,289
You good?
1096
00:52:45,290 --> 00:52:47,040
Yeah, real good.
1097
00:52:47,665 --> 00:52:48,790
Thanks, buddy.
1098
00:52:50,915 --> 00:52:52,165
You bet.
1099
00:52:53,998 --> 00:52:55,165
Buddy.
1100
00:52:57,831 --> 00:52:59,164
Larson?
1101
00:52:59,165 --> 00:53:00,289
Yeah.
1102
00:53:00,290 --> 00:53:03,415
So, when you have sex,
is it like this, just more involved?
1103
00:53:04,373 --> 00:53:06,414
I haven't had sex.
1104
00:53:06,415 --> 00:53:07,706
But you've had girlfriends.
1105
00:53:08,956 --> 00:53:10,664
Girls like you.
1106
00:53:10,665 --> 00:53:12,372
But that doesn't mean I've had sex.
1107
00:53:12,373 --> 00:53:15,205
I... I'm waiting for the right person.
1108
00:53:15,206 --> 00:53:18,206
But then how do you...
I mean, how do you know so much?
1109
00:53:19,373 --> 00:53:20,540
I don't.
1110
00:53:23,540 --> 00:53:24,915
With you...
1111
00:53:26,331 --> 00:53:28,665
everything just feels right, I guess.
1112
00:53:46,623 --> 00:53:48,497
Hmm! Whoa, whoa!
1113
00:53:48,498 --> 00:53:49,997
Ah, back it up.
1114
00:53:49,998 --> 00:53:51,955
What?
Uh, we're not doing that.
1115
00:53:51,956 --> 00:53:54,039
I thought you wanted
to give everything a test run.
1116
00:53:54,040 --> 00:53:55,455
Not that.
1117
00:53:55,456 --> 00:53:56,872
Okay.
1118
00:53:56,873 --> 00:53:59,914
Okay, s‐sorry, I just... I thought that...
1119
00:53:59,915 --> 00:54:02,830
Well, then you weren't
thinking with your brain, Larson.
1120
00:54:02,831 --> 00:54:06,289
Well, you just launched a harpoon
without tying the rope off.
1121
00:54:06,290 --> 00:54:07,165
I'll tie it off.
1122
00:54:07,166 --> 00:54:10,205
I have several ropes: ribbed ropes,
organic ropes, prelubed ropes...
1123
00:54:10,206 --> 00:54:12,290
Okay, reel it in, Skipper.
1124
00:54:13,081 --> 00:54:15,498
But... you want to?
1125
00:54:17,248 --> 00:54:18,373
Gilligan?
1126
00:54:19,665 --> 00:54:22,873
Okay, first of all,
I am clearly Professor Roy Hinkley...
1127
00:54:23,665 --> 00:54:26,081
and that was never part of the plan.
1128
00:54:26,706 --> 00:54:28,830
Our dynamic needs to remain
strictly professional
1129
00:54:28,831 --> 00:54:30,665
for the sake of the experiment.
1130
00:54:44,581 --> 00:54:46,747
You know, my hypothesis...
1131
00:54:46,748 --> 00:54:48,873
Which was null and void.
By you.
1132
00:54:50,290 --> 00:54:52,873
But I think...
1133
00:54:53,790 --> 00:54:55,205
love leads to sex
1134
00:54:55,206 --> 00:54:58,165
and sex leads to love
and that's how you get chemistry.
1135
00:54:59,415 --> 00:55:00,623
It's intertwined.
1136
00:55:03,081 --> 00:55:04,289
Wait, hold on.
1137
00:55:04,290 --> 00:55:06,164
Let me explain the chemistry to you.
1138
00:55:06,165 --> 00:55:08,414
So, even prolonged eye contact
1139
00:55:08,415 --> 00:55:10,539
sends signals to your brain
to release dopamine‐‐
1140
00:55:10,540 --> 00:55:11,623
Forget the chemicals.
1141
00:55:12,748 --> 00:55:16,040
I'm saying love and sex are interwoven.
1142
00:55:18,123 --> 00:55:21,914
No, love has nothing to do
with good sexual experiences.
1143
00:55:21,915 --> 00:55:23,705
I mean, we had just proven that.
1144
00:55:23,706 --> 00:55:25,705
The experiment was a success.
1145
00:55:25,706 --> 00:55:27,622
I finally had all the data I needed.
1146
00:55:27,623 --> 00:55:30,705
Now I only had a week to put it
all together and complete the app.
1147
00:55:30,706 --> 00:55:32,580
Think of your body
like a game of Twister.
1148
00:55:32,581 --> 00:55:33,705
Oop! You found the one.
1149
00:55:33,706 --> 00:55:35,164
Gotta have a strong hold
on the base.
1150
00:55:35,165 --> 00:55:36,205
It's all about the tip.
1151
00:55:36,206 --> 00:55:38,747
It's only a successful mission
if we both enjoy it.
1152
00:55:38,748 --> 00:55:40,955
- Stimulating the clitoris is key.
- Do some finger painting.
1153
00:55:40,956 --> 00:55:43,247
Partner‐pleasure approaches,
the rock‐and roll... Yes!
1154
00:55:43,248 --> 00:55:44,872
The surf's up,
the double‐action revolver.
1155
00:55:44,873 --> 00:55:46,289
- It starts at D...
- Yes!
1156
00:55:46,290 --> 00:55:47,248
And goes deep into G.
1157
00:55:47,249 --> 00:55:48,998
- Voilà!
- Yes!
1158
00:55:50,706 --> 00:55:52,206
Yesss!
1159
00:55:53,165 --> 00:55:54,997
Update complete.
1160
00:55:54,998 --> 00:55:56,622
How may I assist you?
1161
00:55:56,623 --> 00:56:00,039
Spock, how does one have good sex?
1162
00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:03,622
Based on current data,
good sex is achieved by:
1163
00:56:03,623 --> 00:56:07,872
one, self‐exploration to discover
personalized pleasure;
1164
00:56:07,873 --> 00:56:11,289
two, communicate likes
and dislikes to partner;
1165
00:56:11,290 --> 00:56:13,747
three, give and receive consent;
1166
00:56:13,748 --> 00:56:16,039
four, engage in foreplay,
1167
00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:18,914
including ears, neck, back, buttocks,
1168
00:56:18,915 --> 00:56:20,873
nipples, clitoris...
1169
00:56:29,165 --> 00:56:30,665
Hey. Hey.
1170
00:56:34,165 --> 00:56:35,497
Uh... Uh...
1171
00:56:35,498 --> 00:56:36,498
Oop. Yeah.
1172
00:56:36,499 --> 00:56:39,497
I saw that there was an exhibit
at the science museum
1173
00:56:39,498 --> 00:56:41,330
on bioluminescence.
1174
00:56:41,331 --> 00:56:44,080
It's only here for another week,
so you wanna go tonight?
1175
00:56:44,081 --> 00:56:46,290
Oh, I caught that opening weekend.
1176
00:56:47,165 --> 00:56:49,205
Besides, I have STEMCON tomorrow.
1177
00:56:49,206 --> 00:56:51,497
Right, yeah, that's why,
you know, I thought
1178
00:56:51,498 --> 00:56:54,122
maybe we could do something fun
before you go.
1179
00:56:54,123 --> 00:56:57,122
Well, it's the night before the big day.
1180
00:56:57,123 --> 00:56:59,622
I need all my energy focused
on mental preparation,
1181
00:56:59,623 --> 00:57:02,664
but I appreciate your assistance
and support,
1182
00:57:02,665 --> 00:57:05,748
and, um, I'll see you when
I get back with all the details.
1183
00:57:08,665 --> 00:57:10,748
Avery, every, everything that we did...
1184
00:57:13,123 --> 00:57:14,664
how did it make you feel?
1185
00:57:14,665 --> 00:57:16,205
Um...
1186
00:57:16,206 --> 00:57:18,205
amazing.
1187
00:57:18,206 --> 00:57:20,831
Think there was concrete evidence of that.
1188
00:57:22,290 --> 00:57:23,915
Anything change for you?
1189
00:57:24,790 --> 00:57:28,080
I'm in the top third
of the third percentile now?
1190
00:57:28,081 --> 00:57:30,539
Did anything else change for you?
1191
00:57:30,540 --> 00:57:32,830
Come on, I gotta get back to my prep.
1192
00:57:32,831 --> 00:57:35,664
So that's it, if we're not doing
your experiment, we can't hang?
1193
00:57:35,665 --> 00:57:39,290
Larson, this is my prom, remember?
1194
00:57:39,998 --> 00:57:43,497
I mean, like any teen girl,
it's rightfully consuming my thoughts.
1195
00:57:43,498 --> 00:57:45,998
I get it, I get it. Um...
1196
00:57:47,331 --> 00:57:48,830
Have a nice prom.
1197
00:57:48,831 --> 00:57:52,790
I got two tickets to the exhibit, so...
1198
00:57:53,581 --> 00:57:55,373
I'll just go twice.
1199
00:57:55,915 --> 00:57:57,164
Double matinee.
1200
00:57:57,165 --> 00:57:59,831
I'm gonna learn a shit ton
about biolumes.
1201
00:58:01,623 --> 00:58:02,914
I guess.
1202
00:58:02,915 --> 00:58:04,330
Ah, fuck.
1203
00:58:04,331 --> 00:58:06,206
Hey, Larson.
Have a good trip.
1204
00:58:11,123 --> 00:58:12,455
Okay.
1205
00:58:12,456 --> 00:58:14,665
Please upload your app logo.
1206
00:58:15,623 --> 00:58:19,498
Congratulations,
your Sex Appeal app is complete.
1207
00:58:23,748 --> 00:58:25,081
There's my girl.
1208
00:58:27,873 --> 00:58:29,373
Are you humming?
1209
00:58:30,206 --> 00:58:31,706
Ah, yep.
1210
00:58:32,581 --> 00:58:33,747
Mm!
1211
00:58:33,748 --> 00:58:36,205
Whoa, these pancakes are delightful.
1212
00:58:36,206 --> 00:58:38,205
Well, I used ghee.
1213
00:58:38,206 --> 00:58:40,748
I cannot find our coconut oil.
1214
00:58:43,081 --> 00:58:44,290
Weird.
1215
00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:47,372
STEMCON was finally here,
1216
00:58:47,373 --> 00:58:49,664
my chance to cement my name
in STEM history
1217
00:58:49,665 --> 00:58:51,914
and kick off my scientific career.
1218
00:58:51,915 --> 00:58:54,373
So beautiful!
1219
00:59:00,165 --> 00:59:03,039
Okay, let me take one of the three...
1220
00:59:03,040 --> 00:59:05,497
This is STEMCON, I don't...
Oh, just take it.
1221
00:59:05,498 --> 00:59:07,580
Be safe.
Okay, bye. Love you!
1222
00:59:07,581 --> 00:59:09,414
Use protection.
1223
00:59:09,415 --> 00:59:11,748
Aw, she is gonna nail it!
1224
00:59:14,206 --> 00:59:16,247
But first, the big night.
1225
00:59:16,248 --> 00:59:19,164
I was gonna rock Larson's world.
1226
00:59:19,165 --> 00:59:21,414
Wait, did I say Larson?
1227
00:59:21,415 --> 00:59:24,080
I mean, Casper. Casper's world.
1228
00:59:24,081 --> 00:59:26,580
...but the future of it all is...
1229
00:59:26,581 --> 00:59:29,080
Casper, hi.
Avery, oh, my God.
1230
00:59:29,081 --> 00:59:31,330
Oh, I'm so happy you're here.
1231
00:59:31,331 --> 00:59:34,040
This was the night
I was to rock Casper's world.
1232
00:59:35,665 --> 00:59:37,622
...personal financial advice
1233
00:59:37,623 --> 00:59:40,830
just a tap away.
1234
00:59:40,831 --> 00:59:42,080
Fi‐Tap.
1235
00:59:42,081 --> 00:59:43,539
Financing for college‐bound...
1236
00:59:43,540 --> 00:59:46,830
I said Larson a second ago
because there was all this adrenaline
1237
00:59:46,831 --> 00:59:48,830
from preparation
for the approaching event,
1238
00:59:48,831 --> 00:59:52,039
but it's not like I was suddenly
falling for Larson or anything.
1239
00:59:52,040 --> 00:59:55,290
Just wanna be clear,
'cause that was not the plan.
1240
01:00:01,581 --> 01:00:03,372
Ow! Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
1241
01:00:03,373 --> 01:00:05,580
Oh, Jesus. All right?
Yeah, it's all right.
1242
01:00:05,581 --> 01:00:06,456
All right.
1243
01:00:06,457 --> 01:00:09,539
To enhance the mood,
turn off the lights,
1244
01:00:09,540 --> 01:00:11,414
but have one main light source
from the left
1245
01:00:11,415 --> 01:00:13,622
for optional visibility.
1246
01:00:13,623 --> 01:00:15,955
Oh, actually, I think it's that... No.
Just do it.
1247
01:00:15,956 --> 01:00:17,872
The left side, I think.
He said the left side.
1248
01:00:17,873 --> 01:00:19,830
Left. Your left or mine?
1249
01:00:19,831 --> 01:00:22,039
All right.
1250
01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:26,414
To heighten the experience,
employ music pleasing to the subject.
1251
01:00:26,415 --> 01:00:28,789
No, I made a playlist. Oh.
1252
01:00:28,790 --> 01:00:30,790
Spot on. This is spot on.
Yeah.
1253
01:00:31,956 --> 01:00:33,330
Do you both consent?
1254
01:00:33,331 --> 01:00:35,664
I do. I do.
1255
01:00:35,665 --> 01:00:37,497
Foreplay may begin.
1256
01:00:37,498 --> 01:00:39,040
Wha... It's...
1257
01:00:42,790 --> 01:00:44,455
Engage erogenous zones,
1258
01:00:44,456 --> 01:00:50,415
including ears, neck, back,
behind the knees, buttocks, elbows.
1259
01:00:52,165 --> 01:00:53,580
Ooh! Jeez! Ow, God.
1260
01:00:53,581 --> 01:00:55,789
- I hit you.
- Switch e‐zones.
1261
01:00:55,790 --> 01:00:58,955
Nipples are stimulating
for both males and females.
1262
01:00:58,956 --> 01:01:00,331
Nipples.
1263
01:01:07,290 --> 01:01:09,247
Are you there yet? Okay. Oop.
1264
01:01:09,248 --> 01:01:10,872
Oh, yeah! Yeah?
1265
01:01:10,873 --> 01:01:11,914
No.
1266
01:01:11,915 --> 01:01:13,872
When arousal has occurred,
1267
01:01:13,873 --> 01:01:16,581
subjects may employ choice contraception.
1268
01:01:17,456 --> 01:01:19,247
Yeah, yeah!
1269
01:01:19,248 --> 01:01:20,789
Um... Uh, I have one.
1270
01:01:20,790 --> 01:01:22,040
Here you are.
1271
01:01:23,998 --> 01:01:26,205
"Microthin extra lubricated."
1272
01:01:26,206 --> 01:01:27,665
"Piña colada."
1273
01:01:28,623 --> 01:01:31,622
Such a complex flavor.
Oh! So I've heard.
1274
01:01:31,623 --> 01:01:33,705
Do you both consent?
1275
01:01:33,706 --> 01:01:35,873
I do. Hell yeah.
1276
01:01:38,165 --> 01:01:39,165
Oh.
1277
01:01:46,540 --> 01:01:49,415
I love your brain.
I love your brain.
1278
01:01:59,331 --> 01:02:02,122
You are now achieving good sex.
1279
01:02:02,123 --> 01:02:03,790
Congratulations.
1280
01:02:07,123 --> 01:02:09,205
Yeah? Yeah.
1281
01:02:09,206 --> 01:02:10,580
There you go. You sure?
1282
01:02:10,581 --> 01:02:13,080
Mm‐hmm. Um...
1283
01:02:13,081 --> 01:02:14,330
Um...
1284
01:02:14,331 --> 01:02:17,165
Do you maybe wanna try on top, maybe?
Yeah.
1285
01:02:18,665 --> 01:02:20,622
Okay? Okay.
1286
01:02:20,623 --> 01:02:22,706
Nice. Ah, yeah.
1287
01:02:27,040 --> 01:02:28,498
All right. Mm.
1288
01:02:39,206 --> 01:02:40,873
Sh‐Should we stop?
1289
01:02:44,456 --> 01:02:45,623
Yeah.
1290
01:02:46,123 --> 01:02:47,706
Okay. All right.
1291
01:03:03,998 --> 01:03:05,289
Okay.
1292
01:03:05,290 --> 01:03:06,580
Uh...
1293
01:03:06,581 --> 01:03:07,706
Okay.
1294
01:03:12,456 --> 01:03:15,664
♪ White silver stripes ♪
1295
01:03:15,665 --> 01:03:19,165
♪ Blue dot, black star ♪
1296
01:03:22,456 --> 01:03:26,872
♪ Big dreamin' little ants ♪
1297
01:03:26,873 --> 01:03:31,081
♪ It's just who we are ♪
1298
01:03:33,790 --> 01:03:37,623
♪ I want to change ♪
1299
01:03:38,665 --> 01:03:42,415
♪ I want to change what's to come ♪
1300
01:03:43,915 --> 01:03:47,790
♪ I want to change ♪
1301
01:03:48,373 --> 01:03:52,456
♪ I want to change the subject ♪
1302
01:03:53,831 --> 01:03:57,289
♪ I want to change... ♪
1303
01:03:57,290 --> 01:04:00,456
♪ Rock band playing ♪
1304
01:04:01,873 --> 01:04:05,539
Now, welcome to the stage
our reigning champion,
1305
01:04:05,540 --> 01:04:07,830
sure to dazzle us yet again,
1306
01:04:07,831 --> 01:04:10,540
Ms. Avery Hansen‐White!
1307
01:04:16,373 --> 01:04:18,623
We love you, Avery!
1308
01:04:22,040 --> 01:04:25,747
How was I going to sell an app
to an entire room of people
1309
01:04:25,748 --> 01:04:27,747
when I knew it didn't work?
1310
01:04:27,748 --> 01:04:31,997
I was terrified that my first
sexual encounter would be a failure.
1311
01:04:31,998 --> 01:04:34,248
We've all been there, am I right?
1312
01:04:39,456 --> 01:04:43,539
What if you could erase
all that fear of failure
1313
01:04:43,540 --> 01:04:46,039
from your first time
with a sexual partner?
1314
01:04:46,040 --> 01:04:50,164
What if there was an app
designed to prepare its user
1315
01:04:50,165 --> 01:04:53,790
for a mutually appealing
and successful experience?
1316
01:04:58,706 --> 01:05:00,665
♪
1317
01:05:09,706 --> 01:05:12,998
Imagine if you had Sex Appeal.
1318
01:05:28,998 --> 01:05:30,415
I'm really sorry, um...
1319
01:05:31,498 --> 01:05:34,122
I withdraw my, my presentation.
1320
01:05:34,123 --> 01:05:36,290
I... Thank you.
1321
01:05:40,206 --> 01:05:42,040
Ms. Hansen‐White?
1322
01:05:44,331 --> 01:05:47,455
Thank you so much. Thanks.
1323
01:05:47,456 --> 01:05:48,790
Thank you.
1324
01:05:53,331 --> 01:05:55,790
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
1325
01:06:10,248 --> 01:06:12,997
All that build‐up, you know,
all the anticipation,
1326
01:06:12,998 --> 01:06:15,122
and it wasn't really anything.
1327
01:06:15,123 --> 01:06:18,080
And, you know, given that it was
technically a milestone event,
1328
01:06:18,081 --> 01:06:19,789
it was so uneventful.
1329
01:06:19,790 --> 01:06:21,039
And I don't know,
1330
01:06:21,040 --> 01:06:22,498
I thought I'd feel...
1331
01:06:23,415 --> 01:06:24,539
different?
1332
01:06:24,540 --> 01:06:26,456
Well, maybe that's the problem, Avery.
1333
01:06:27,831 --> 01:06:31,165
You don't seem to feel anything.
1334
01:06:32,540 --> 01:06:34,206
Or care about anyone.
1335
01:06:34,915 --> 01:06:36,497
What?
1336
01:06:36,498 --> 01:06:38,497
That's not true.
I mean, I care about you.
1337
01:06:38,498 --> 01:06:39,540
Right.
1338
01:06:45,415 --> 01:06:48,122
Okay, well, I have homework, so...
1339
01:06:48,123 --> 01:06:51,330
Cool. I'll do it for you,
and then we can hang.
1340
01:06:51,331 --> 01:06:54,122
I can't do that with you, Avery.
Why not?
1341
01:06:54,123 --> 01:06:56,331
Do you actually think
I'm into bioluminescence?
1342
01:06:56,998 --> 01:07:00,164
I mean, I'm guessing you're not
for the sake of your argument,
1343
01:07:00,165 --> 01:07:02,289
but... everyone should be.
1344
01:07:02,290 --> 01:07:03,955
Well, they're not.
1345
01:07:03,956 --> 01:07:06,623
Avery, let me explain something to you.
1346
01:07:07,540 --> 01:07:09,415
I have always cared about you.
1347
01:07:10,498 --> 01:07:12,165
That boob graze, I...
1348
01:07:12,873 --> 01:07:16,789
I was an idiot 14‐year‐old getting advice
from other idiot 14‐year‐olds
1349
01:07:16,790 --> 01:07:19,705
who told me if I wanted to be
more than friends with you,
1350
01:07:19,706 --> 01:07:21,914
I needed to make a move.
1351
01:07:21,915 --> 01:07:23,165
So I did.
1352
01:07:23,790 --> 01:07:26,039
And you rejected me, and that's fine.
1353
01:07:26,040 --> 01:07:30,373
But I spent the next three years
trying really hard to move on.
1354
01:07:31,165 --> 01:07:32,915
And I finally did.
1355
01:07:34,165 --> 01:07:37,372
But then you suck me back in
with this thing that I didn't want to do
1356
01:07:37,373 --> 01:07:38,665
and here I am again.
1357
01:07:39,748 --> 01:07:40,706
And I'm done.
1358
01:07:40,707 --> 01:07:43,915
I'm done waiting for the moment
where you...
1359
01:07:44,581 --> 01:07:46,123
change your mind about me.
1360
01:07:47,831 --> 01:07:49,290
About us.
1361
01:07:50,373 --> 01:07:51,456
Us?
1362
01:07:52,540 --> 01:07:55,205
I mean, Larson, I'm moving
to Massachusetts in the fall,
1363
01:07:55,206 --> 01:07:57,205
so it just wouldn't be practical.
1364
01:07:57,206 --> 01:08:00,622
Practical? Jesus, Avery!
What about emotional, huh?
1365
01:08:00,623 --> 01:08:03,122
Okay, well, you do seem
to be getting a little emotional.
1366
01:08:03,123 --> 01:08:05,080
Yeah... You know what?
1367
01:08:05,081 --> 01:08:06,456
You... you're right.
1368
01:08:08,040 --> 01:08:09,873
I have no place to be upset.
1369
01:08:11,456 --> 01:08:12,706
This grew for me.
1370
01:08:13,498 --> 01:08:15,623
It didn't grow for you, and that...
1371
01:08:16,498 --> 01:08:18,039
that just sucks.
1372
01:08:18,040 --> 01:08:21,039
Well, I never said
that it didn't grow for me.
1373
01:08:21,040 --> 01:08:22,956
Do you have feelings for me?
1374
01:08:24,248 --> 01:08:25,789
I mean, I...
1375
01:08:25,790 --> 01:08:27,706
You...?
1376
01:08:28,956 --> 01:08:30,372
I mean...
1377
01:08:30,373 --> 01:08:32,414
Come on, Avery,
you always have an answer.
1378
01:08:32,415 --> 01:08:35,540
Yeah, well, I wanna have
the right answer.
1379
01:08:42,040 --> 01:08:44,205
I...
1380
01:08:44,206 --> 01:08:46,373
I don't wanna be
your guinea pig anymore.
1381
01:08:48,581 --> 01:08:50,080
Hey, you're not.
1382
01:08:50,081 --> 01:08:51,248
Really?
1383
01:08:52,206 --> 01:08:55,873
Then why do you always ask
to experiment on me and never with me?
1384
01:08:57,498 --> 01:08:59,080
Larson... hang on.
1385
01:08:59,081 --> 01:09:00,789
We both were practicing...
1386
01:09:00,790 --> 01:09:02,830
For you, Avery!
1387
01:09:02,831 --> 01:09:05,205
We both agreed to everything.
1388
01:09:05,206 --> 01:09:09,290
Are you upset that I slept
with Casper instead of you?
1389
01:09:13,290 --> 01:09:14,622
No.
1390
01:09:14,623 --> 01:09:16,540
No, I'm glad we didn't.
1391
01:09:17,623 --> 01:09:20,539
Because I'm waiting to be
with someone who cares about me
1392
01:09:20,540 --> 01:09:22,165
as much as I care about them.
1393
01:09:24,081 --> 01:09:27,165
So... it would have been a big mistake.
1394
01:09:59,081 --> 01:10:01,539
Maybe Larson was right.
1395
01:10:01,540 --> 01:10:04,289
Maybe I should have considered
his hypothesis
1396
01:10:04,290 --> 01:10:06,747
that love and sex were intertwined.
1397
01:10:06,748 --> 01:10:08,622
Was that the missing data?
1398
01:10:08,623 --> 01:10:12,040
Had I disregarded
a crucial piece of intel?
1399
01:10:12,540 --> 01:10:15,914
The best part about sex
is for sure the love.
1400
01:10:15,915 --> 01:10:17,705
There is no greater feeling.
1401
01:10:17,706 --> 01:10:19,664
It's beyond a physical feeling.
1402
01:10:19,665 --> 01:10:23,455
The idea that you could be
completely naked with someone
1403
01:10:23,456 --> 01:10:26,123
and be totally comfortable, that's...
1404
01:10:27,081 --> 01:10:28,705
that's incredible.
1405
01:10:28,706 --> 01:10:30,789
That's like next level trust.
1406
01:10:30,790 --> 01:10:33,539
You just want to spend
every second with them,
1407
01:10:33,540 --> 01:10:35,540
want to share everything with them.
1408
01:10:36,540 --> 01:10:38,164
If you lose them...
1409
01:10:38,165 --> 01:10:40,330
If that trust is broken...
1410
01:10:40,331 --> 01:10:42,205
The emptiness, it's...
1411
01:10:42,206 --> 01:10:43,580
suffocating.
1412
01:10:43,581 --> 01:10:46,330
My ex broke up with me over text, and...
1413
01:10:46,331 --> 01:10:48,330
he didn't even give me a reason.
1414
01:10:48,331 --> 01:10:51,581
Best way to get over someone
is to get under someone else.
1415
01:10:52,706 --> 01:10:53,955
Doesn't really work like that.
1416
01:10:53,956 --> 01:10:57,790
When Melissa Delazzo started sitting
with Dwayne on the bus instead of me...
1417
01:10:58,623 --> 01:11:01,956
it was like I lost the rudder
to the ship of myself.
1418
01:11:02,665 --> 01:11:07,122
To quote T. Swift, "I never heard
a silence quite this loud."
1419
01:11:07,123 --> 01:11:09,372
I know.
1420
01:11:09,373 --> 01:11:11,122
Just... please.
1421
01:11:11,123 --> 01:11:12,290
Feelings.
1422
01:11:14,123 --> 01:11:15,955
You can't control shit.
1423
01:11:15,956 --> 01:11:18,914
Rejection can have you shattered
into a million pieces.
1424
01:11:18,915 --> 01:11:21,330
All of a sudden,
you're reaching out for this person
1425
01:11:21,331 --> 01:11:24,706
who was always there before,
but now they're gone.
1426
01:11:25,248 --> 01:11:28,622
Truth is, you don't... you don't
just lose a piece of your heart,
1427
01:11:28,623 --> 01:11:29,831
you lose...
1428
01:11:32,248 --> 01:11:33,915
you lose your best friend.
1429
01:11:43,415 --> 01:11:45,289
Hey, hon, how are you feeling?
1430
01:11:45,290 --> 01:11:46,955
Fine. Shut the door.
1431
01:11:46,956 --> 01:11:48,623
Are you su...
1432
01:11:49,373 --> 01:11:52,165
Need to just talk a little? Okay.
Shut the door. Nope. Nope.
1433
01:11:53,290 --> 01:11:55,539
What are you feeling?
Name your feelings by name.
1434
01:11:55,540 --> 01:11:57,039
Shut the door!
1435
01:11:57,040 --> 01:11:59,498
I told you she's not gonna talk to you.
Please!
1436
01:12:02,373 --> 01:12:05,206
- Get in there! Go!
- Oh, my...
1437
01:12:06,290 --> 01:12:08,622
Oh, yay, it's my turn.
1438
01:12:08,623 --> 01:12:12,247
Maternal figures multiplying.
1439
01:12:12,248 --> 01:12:13,539
I know.
1440
01:12:13,540 --> 01:12:15,081
Go easy on me.
1441
01:12:21,290 --> 01:12:22,705
Look, I...
1442
01:12:22,706 --> 01:12:23,914
I'm here for you,
1443
01:12:23,915 --> 01:12:26,290
and I'm just gonna sit here
till you ask me to leave.
1444
01:12:35,331 --> 01:12:36,914
I lost...
1445
01:12:36,915 --> 01:12:38,415
STEMCON?
1446
01:12:39,831 --> 01:12:41,080
That too, I guess.
1447
01:12:41,081 --> 01:12:43,748
Oh, your virginity.
1448
01:12:44,290 --> 01:12:46,040
Hmm, that too.
1449
01:12:48,456 --> 01:12:51,456
No, that's not what I mean.
Oh, shit. What else did you lose?
1450
01:12:52,331 --> 01:12:54,290
The only real friend I've ever had.
1451
01:12:55,415 --> 01:12:56,748
Oh.
1452
01:12:59,831 --> 01:13:03,415
So that means they lost someone
special to them too.
1453
01:13:04,706 --> 01:13:06,373
I hadn't considered that.
1454
01:13:07,123 --> 01:13:09,831
Yeah, that's the thing
with friendship or sex.
1455
01:13:12,331 --> 01:13:13,498
You may continue.
1456
01:13:14,290 --> 01:13:17,830
Yeah, so the key
to a good friendship or good sex
1457
01:13:17,831 --> 01:13:21,539
is, um, it's about giving, not taking.
1458
01:13:21,540 --> 01:13:24,205
So luckily, like sex,
friendship is something
1459
01:13:24,206 --> 01:13:27,790
that you can get better at
with practice.
1460
01:13:28,748 --> 01:13:31,540
That lands.
1461
01:13:33,456 --> 01:13:34,956
Good job, Kim.
1462
01:13:35,998 --> 01:13:37,081
Cool.
1463
01:13:38,206 --> 01:13:40,290
Glad I could help.
1464
01:13:41,415 --> 01:13:44,165
This teen crisis has been so stressful.
1465
01:13:45,081 --> 01:13:46,790
Okay, good.
1466
01:13:47,373 --> 01:13:49,497
What did she say?
Tell her to name her feelings and...
1467
01:13:49,498 --> 01:13:52,914
Oh, my God.
Don't ask me to name my feelings.
1468
01:13:52,915 --> 01:13:53,956
Okay.
1469
01:13:55,456 --> 01:13:56,539
But...
1470
01:13:56,540 --> 01:13:59,289
he probably needs to know how you feel.
1471
01:13:59,290 --> 01:14:00,622
So...
1472
01:14:00,623 --> 01:14:03,414
when you know, you should tell him.
1473
01:14:03,415 --> 01:14:05,955
Like I gotta go get the guy?
1474
01:14:05,956 --> 01:14:08,372
Yeah. And speak from the heart.
1475
01:14:08,373 --> 01:14:10,373
It's the best way back into his.
1476
01:14:15,331 --> 01:14:16,455
Okay.
1477
01:14:16,456 --> 01:14:18,873
I don't know why I did that. Okay.
1478
01:14:20,665 --> 01:14:22,789
- I did it.
- That went great!
1479
01:14:22,790 --> 01:14:24,040
Yay!
1480
01:14:27,248 --> 01:14:32,040
♪ Playing Sousa march ♪
1481
01:14:33,206 --> 01:14:35,331
Ahem. Excuse me. So sorry.
1482
01:14:38,248 --> 01:14:42,122
Larson, your hypothesis was correct.
1483
01:14:42,123 --> 01:14:46,123
Love and sex are absolutely intertwined.
1484
01:14:47,123 --> 01:14:49,206
I've got an answer for you.
1485
01:14:54,790 --> 01:14:57,206
My answer is that there is no answer.
1486
01:14:58,581 --> 01:15:01,997
There is no answer because
this isn't math or physics
1487
01:15:01,998 --> 01:15:03,539
or some kind of equation.
1488
01:15:03,540 --> 01:15:06,455
We got into this
under the pretense of an experiment,
1489
01:15:06,456 --> 01:15:10,872
and you're right, it evolved
into something much more.
1490
01:15:10,873 --> 01:15:12,373
♪ Music continues on phone ♪
1491
01:15:15,081 --> 01:15:16,414
Avery, please.
1492
01:15:16,415 --> 01:15:18,080
Wait... Larson.
1493
01:15:18,081 --> 01:15:19,623
Larson!
1494
01:15:21,498 --> 01:15:26,414
Look, I knew it would backfire,
and now things, they're just different.
1495
01:15:26,415 --> 01:15:27,956
But I'm good with it, okay?
1496
01:15:28,665 --> 01:15:30,080
Wait, wait, hang on.
1497
01:15:30,081 --> 01:15:32,455
Larson, it's not that I don't
feel something for you.
1498
01:15:32,456 --> 01:15:33,622
Okay?
1499
01:15:33,623 --> 01:15:36,039
Look, I... I do.
1500
01:15:36,040 --> 01:15:39,372
I feel more than I've ever felt
for a person, and...
1501
01:15:39,373 --> 01:15:42,164
if I had known that I was hurting you,
I never would have‐‐
1502
01:15:42,165 --> 01:15:43,248
Would have what?
1503
01:15:44,706 --> 01:15:46,456
The experiment.
1504
01:15:47,248 --> 01:15:48,955
But it wasn't for nothing.
1505
01:15:48,956 --> 01:15:52,164
Because I learned how much
I truly care about you.
1506
01:15:52,165 --> 01:15:53,997
Avery, you were right.
1507
01:15:53,998 --> 01:15:55,373
You're the crocodile.
1508
01:15:56,581 --> 01:15:58,748
But the crocodile can live alone
in that swamp.
1509
01:15:59,290 --> 01:16:01,455
And that is okay.
1510
01:16:01,456 --> 01:16:04,580
'Cause we need people like you
who are gonna change that swamp
1511
01:16:04,581 --> 01:16:07,664
with their achievements
and discoveries and...
1512
01:16:07,665 --> 01:16:11,372
but we need birds like me
who are gonna love them
1513
01:16:11,373 --> 01:16:13,790
for being exactly that.
1514
01:16:14,748 --> 01:16:18,581
But for that symbiosis
to work in the world...
1515
01:16:22,373 --> 01:16:24,873
the bird really needs
to go fly with other birds.
1516
01:16:34,415 --> 01:16:35,706
Larson, wait!
1517
01:16:40,331 --> 01:16:41,706
Go to prom with me.
1518
01:16:42,206 --> 01:16:45,623
What?
Yeah. Let's go to prom.
1519
01:16:47,123 --> 01:16:48,331
No.
1520
01:16:49,165 --> 01:16:50,790
Why?
1521
01:16:52,998 --> 01:16:56,205
You said it yourself, it's just a bunch
of overhyped, superfluous‐‐
1522
01:16:56,206 --> 01:16:57,580
No, you were right, okay?
1523
01:16:57,581 --> 01:17:00,206
We never did any
of the fun high school stuff.
1524
01:17:02,790 --> 01:17:05,498
I don't wanna go. I'm over it.
1525
01:17:06,248 --> 01:17:09,498
I don't... I don't believe that.
1526
01:17:10,956 --> 01:17:12,540
Come on, we should go.
1527
01:17:14,623 --> 01:17:16,956
You, me, prom.
1528
01:17:20,915 --> 01:17:22,748
I thought STEM was your prom.
1529
01:17:25,873 --> 01:17:27,165
Larson.
1530
01:17:31,915 --> 01:17:33,330
Avery, I gotta go.
1531
01:17:33,331 --> 01:17:35,580
Well, I'll walk with you.
I'm good.
1532
01:17:35,581 --> 01:17:38,165
Look, I may not show it
in the same way, but...
1533
01:17:40,748 --> 01:17:42,205
I...
1534
01:17:42,206 --> 01:17:44,081
I love you.
1535
01:17:46,790 --> 01:17:48,415
I love you.
1536
01:17:52,331 --> 01:17:53,498
I love you.
1537
01:17:55,331 --> 01:17:56,581
Larson!
1538
01:17:57,748 --> 01:17:59,040
Larson!
1539
01:18:01,081 --> 01:18:02,415
Larson...
1540
01:18:30,706 --> 01:18:32,414
What are you doing here?
1541
01:18:32,415 --> 01:18:35,122
I come up here every day
to cry and smoke.
1542
01:18:35,123 --> 01:18:36,915
Why are you in my spot?
1543
01:18:39,040 --> 01:18:40,998
Oh, shit.
1544
01:18:42,790 --> 01:18:43,873
All right.
1545
01:18:44,623 --> 01:18:45,747
Talk to me.
1546
01:18:45,748 --> 01:18:48,872
I told her everything,
about the sexperiments,
1547
01:18:48,873 --> 01:18:52,205
failing STEMCON,
realizing I love Larson.
1548
01:18:52,206 --> 01:18:53,664
I messed up.
1549
01:18:53,665 --> 01:18:56,497
I was so focused on doing things right...
1550
01:18:56,498 --> 01:18:57,790
that I didn't...
1551
01:18:59,498 --> 01:19:02,247
I didn't realize that I was hurting him.
I failed him.
1552
01:19:02,248 --> 01:19:06,705
Didn't Einstein fail a bunch of times
before he got it right?
1553
01:19:06,706 --> 01:19:10,872
That is an exhausted anecdote,
overused by underachievers.
1554
01:19:10,873 --> 01:19:14,080
You kids are overly worried
about getting good at the sex stuff.
1555
01:19:14,081 --> 01:19:15,872
That's the easy part.
1556
01:19:15,873 --> 01:19:18,622
It's the relationship that takes practice.
1557
01:19:18,623 --> 01:19:20,664
How much practice?
1558
01:19:20,665 --> 01:19:25,164
Because I don't think I ever want
to feel like this again.
1559
01:19:25,165 --> 01:19:28,039
All right, if your heart hurts,
your heart works.
1560
01:19:28,040 --> 01:19:31,539
You got one rep in, it'll be easier
to go there next time.
1561
01:19:31,540 --> 01:19:32,665
Next time?
1562
01:19:33,290 --> 01:19:35,247
Yeah. But what about Larson?
1563
01:19:35,248 --> 01:19:39,289
Is there any saving of friendship
that went beyond friendship?
1564
01:19:39,290 --> 01:19:40,665
Sometimes.
1565
01:19:42,373 --> 01:19:46,080
And sometimes a person or friendship
is just part of the journey
1566
01:19:46,081 --> 01:19:47,706
to figuring your own shit out.
1567
01:19:51,706 --> 01:19:52,706
Thank you.
1568
01:19:53,206 --> 01:19:55,290
Eh, I got a few good ones in me.
1569
01:19:58,290 --> 01:19:59,873
Stay safe.
1570
01:20:02,206 --> 01:20:04,205
Be prepared. Yeah.
1571
01:20:04,206 --> 01:20:07,456
I will be back in ten minutes
to smoke this joint.
1572
01:20:08,123 --> 01:20:09,872
You better be gone.
I'll be gone.
1573
01:20:09,873 --> 01:20:11,165
Okay.
1574
01:20:16,623 --> 01:20:21,206
♪ Student singing ballad ♪
1575
01:20:23,581 --> 01:20:26,747
♪ But I'm dying to feel something ♪
1576
01:20:26,748 --> 01:20:28,956
♪ Oh‐oh‐oh ♪
1577
01:20:29,165 --> 01:20:31,580
♪ Oh‐oh‐oh ♪
1578
01:20:31,581 --> 01:20:34,290
♪ But you're still away ♪
1579
01:20:35,248 --> 01:20:39,081
♪ But I want you to stay ♪
1580
01:20:41,415 --> 01:20:42,914
Hey.
1581
01:20:42,915 --> 01:20:44,330
I'm Avery.
1582
01:20:44,331 --> 01:20:45,331
Hey.
1583
01:20:49,581 --> 01:20:53,039
So, my buddy Larson really likes you.
1584
01:20:53,040 --> 01:20:55,372
Larson? Like Larson Hecht?
1585
01:20:55,373 --> 01:20:57,873
Yeah.
Aren't you guys a thing?
1586
01:20:58,915 --> 01:21:00,123
No.
1587
01:21:01,873 --> 01:21:05,664
But, um, he's liked you for a while now.
1588
01:21:05,665 --> 01:21:07,539
He's incredible.
1589
01:21:07,540 --> 01:21:12,080
He's gonna make the right girl
so damn happy.
1590
01:21:12,081 --> 01:21:13,372
So...
1591
01:21:13,373 --> 01:21:16,789
if you like him,
you should ask him to prom.
1592
01:21:16,790 --> 01:21:18,581
Well, why won't he just ask me?
1593
01:21:20,831 --> 01:21:22,456
'Cause he's been hurt.
1594
01:21:23,415 --> 01:21:24,831
And...
1595
01:21:26,165 --> 01:21:30,373
he doesn't want to put himself out there
in case he gets hurt again, so...
1596
01:21:31,956 --> 01:21:33,665
Or maybe you could just ask him.
1597
01:21:34,706 --> 01:21:36,081
He's worth it.
1598
01:21:36,706 --> 01:21:38,205
I promise.
1599
01:21:38,206 --> 01:21:39,539
Okay.
1600
01:21:39,540 --> 01:21:41,705
Um... I think I will.
1601
01:21:41,706 --> 01:21:42,748
Thanks.
1602
01:21:48,290 --> 01:21:50,373
Hey, cute girl.
1603
01:21:51,540 --> 01:21:52,997
You have a personality, right?
1604
01:21:52,998 --> 01:21:54,580
Excuse me?
1605
01:21:54,581 --> 01:21:58,955
Well, you're not just
some attractive object of pursuit.
1606
01:21:58,956 --> 01:22:00,997
I've seen this a lot
in the films I watched
1607
01:22:00,998 --> 01:22:02,748
in preparation for losing my virginity.
1608
01:22:05,123 --> 01:22:06,206
Okay.
1609
01:22:07,498 --> 01:22:12,706
First of all, "cute" is a term I reserve
for instafamous hedgehogs.
1610
01:22:13,581 --> 01:22:17,289
I'm not a girl, I'm a young woman,
with an extensive list of interests,
1611
01:22:17,290 --> 01:22:19,497
and just because I practice
active listening,
1612
01:22:19,498 --> 01:22:21,414
doesn't mean I'm inarticulate
or submissive.
1613
01:22:21,415 --> 01:22:22,623
Hi.
1614
01:22:23,373 --> 01:22:25,165
My name's Lyssa.
1615
01:22:26,290 --> 01:22:27,498
Nice to meet you.
1616
01:22:30,081 --> 01:22:31,748
Go get the guy, would ya?
1617
01:22:34,956 --> 01:22:37,830
Why, such is love's transgression,
1618
01:22:37,831 --> 01:22:40,789
griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast.
1619
01:22:40,790 --> 01:22:43,789
Can I help you, Avery?
1620
01:22:43,790 --> 01:22:46,039
Excuse me, sorry. I, uh...
1621
01:22:46,040 --> 01:22:50,164
Just refer to your textbooks
for the rest of that enchanting passage.
1622
01:22:50,165 --> 01:22:51,748
I'll just be a moment.
1623
01:22:53,498 --> 01:22:54,705
Sorry, uh...
1624
01:22:54,706 --> 01:22:57,330
I... I just... I regraded my paper.
1625
01:22:57,331 --> 01:23:01,497
Um... you gave me an 89
and I deserved...
1626
01:23:01,498 --> 01:23:03,039
An A‐plus?
1627
01:23:03,040 --> 01:23:05,914
Avery, I'm a massive Trekkie.
1628
01:23:05,915 --> 01:23:07,580
None of the references were lost on me.
1629
01:23:07,581 --> 01:23:10,665
I just didn't find them relevant
in an essay about...
1630
01:23:11,831 --> 01:23:13,248
love.
1631
01:23:14,415 --> 01:23:16,790
Wow. That's a B.
1632
01:23:17,540 --> 01:23:19,705
That's a big ugly B regular.
1633
01:23:19,706 --> 01:23:22,873
While those references were spot‐on...
1634
01:23:23,706 --> 01:23:24,748
I missed the point.
1635
01:23:25,748 --> 01:23:28,205
You can't calculate for love.
1636
01:23:28,206 --> 01:23:31,623
You can only experience as much love
as you're willing to give.
1637
01:23:32,540 --> 01:23:34,206
That's the real choice.
1638
01:23:35,373 --> 01:23:36,873
I didn't get that, so...
1639
01:23:37,623 --> 01:23:38,830
I concede.
1640
01:23:38,831 --> 01:23:40,580
I don't deserve an A.
1641
01:23:40,581 --> 01:23:42,664
That's very mature of you, Avery.
1642
01:23:42,665 --> 01:23:44,748
Well, I am a woman now.
1643
01:23:46,081 --> 01:23:47,872
Not because I popped my cherry.
1644
01:23:47,873 --> 01:23:48,914
Relax.
1645
01:23:48,915 --> 01:23:50,623
It's, I just...
1646
01:23:52,040 --> 01:23:55,039
learned that sometimes
you have to fail to grow.
1647
01:23:55,040 --> 01:23:57,830
Well, you didn't fail.
I mean, that's a B.
1648
01:23:57,831 --> 01:24:01,164
And your grade won't be compromised
with a 105 average.
1649
01:24:01,165 --> 01:24:03,205
Yeah, the move was strategic,
1650
01:24:03,206 --> 01:24:05,498
but relish in the sentiment, will ya?
1651
01:24:09,248 --> 01:24:11,040
I'll see ya later.
1652
01:24:16,540 --> 01:24:17,997
Okay.
1653
01:24:17,998 --> 01:24:20,622
So where was I, breast?
I leave off at breast?
1654
01:24:20,623 --> 01:24:22,539
Uh, yeah.
1655
01:24:22,540 --> 01:24:24,831
♪ Romantic pop song playing ♪
1656
01:24:39,290 --> 01:24:41,039
I set the whole thing up.
1657
01:24:41,040 --> 01:24:43,373
I had to make sure
it went according to plan.
1658
01:24:44,706 --> 01:24:45,706
And it did.
1659
01:24:51,873 --> 01:24:54,748
Don't be weird, be reals.
Okay.
1660
01:24:56,540 --> 01:24:59,080
I thought high school
was about setting yourself up
1661
01:24:59,081 --> 01:25:02,247
for the rest of your life,
and it kind of is.
1662
01:25:02,248 --> 01:25:03,372
Come on.
1663
01:25:03,373 --> 01:25:05,164
Just not in the way I expected.
1664
01:25:05,165 --> 01:25:07,705
All right,
let's turn this party up!
1665
01:25:07,706 --> 01:25:10,580
Don't get me wrong,
I'm proud of my GPA,
1666
01:25:10,581 --> 01:25:13,040
and I can't wait to go to MIT.
1667
01:25:14,123 --> 01:25:16,456
But the most valuable lesson
from high school...
1668
01:25:17,665 --> 01:25:19,081
came from Larson.
1669
01:25:24,081 --> 01:25:26,122
Not how to be good at sex,
1670
01:25:26,123 --> 01:25:28,706
but to be good to others.
1671
01:25:30,706 --> 01:25:35,164
Because it turns out, making
other people happy makes you happy.
1672
01:25:35,165 --> 01:25:38,122
Avery! ♪ dance music playing ♪
1673
01:25:38,123 --> 01:25:40,373
And that's a pretty epic win.
1674
01:25:43,831 --> 01:25:47,205
♪ All we need's a bit of each other ♪
1675
01:25:47,206 --> 01:25:48,915
♪ To feel new ♪
1676
01:25:52,206 --> 01:25:54,372
♪ I've got a lot of steam ♪
1677
01:25:54,373 --> 01:25:56,123
♪ To blow off ♪
1678
01:26:02,748 --> 01:26:04,956
Scene 1, actor take 1, mark.
1679
01:26:05,623 --> 01:26:08,165
♪ Bam bam bam bam ♪
1680
01:26:09,873 --> 01:26:12,122
I'm sorry.
I... I don't know what to tell you.
1681
01:26:12,123 --> 01:26:14,705
Yeah, babe, I mean,
we can't do this all for you.
1682
01:26:14,706 --> 01:26:16,266
What, am I gonna suck his dick for you?
1683
01:26:17,415 --> 01:26:19,122
Yeah, I will.
1684
01:26:19,123 --> 01:26:20,830
Ooh. We both would.
1685
01:26:20,831 --> 01:26:23,123
Well, speak for yourself.
Just let us know.
1686
01:26:26,248 --> 01:26:28,872
Feel like... I forgot the line.
1687
01:26:28,873 --> 01:26:30,247
Wow.
1688
01:26:30,248 --> 01:26:31,664
Can you touch a little longer?
1689
01:26:31,665 --> 01:26:32,790
Whoa.
1690
01:26:34,123 --> 01:26:37,205
Math does the body good!
1691
01:26:37,206 --> 01:26:38,872
Oh, yeah.
1692
01:26:38,873 --> 01:26:40,414
Wha...?
1693
01:26:40,415 --> 01:26:42,914
What? I didn't mean it like that.
I didn't mean it like that.
1694
01:26:42,915 --> 01:26:44,622
Chill out, bro.
No, no, no, we're good.
1695
01:26:44,623 --> 01:26:47,622
We're seniors, and you've never been
to a school dance,
1696
01:26:47,623 --> 01:26:50,247
and we both know you don't think‐‐
do things you're not‐Sorry.
1697
01:26:50,248 --> 01:26:54,414
I'm willing to let you out on parole if
you return to your test position... to...
1698
01:26:54,415 --> 01:26:55,539
Fuckin'...
1699
01:26:55,540 --> 01:26:59,331
Fuck. I'm sorry.
1700
01:27:00,456 --> 01:27:01,664
Combo.
1701
01:27:01,665 --> 01:27:03,080
Oh, that's cool.
1702
01:27:03,081 --> 01:27:05,497
- Spock.
- Very nice, Spock.
1703
01:27:05,498 --> 01:27:08,622
- Reverse Spock.
- Reverse Spock!
1704
01:27:08,623 --> 01:27:09,664
Can I just go for it?
1705
01:27:09,665 --> 01:27:11,747
The rock star, the surf's up,
the devil's advocate,
1706
01:27:11,748 --> 01:27:14,539
the Spock, the reverse Spock,
the scissors beats paper,
1707
01:27:14,540 --> 01:27:16,123
the sideways dancing man.
1708
01:27:17,706 --> 01:27:19,955
Today's episode is brought to you
by the letter G.
1709
01:27:19,956 --> 01:27:23,290
What's up, G?
I'll email you a list.
1710
01:27:26,373 --> 01:27:28,498
Oh, my God,
I can't believe it's working!
1711
01:27:29,998 --> 01:27:32,415
There's a microphone under there.
1712
01:27:40,498 --> 01:27:44,247
Do you know, Deb's batteries
are all in her vibrators, so...
1713
01:27:44,248 --> 01:27:46,289
do you think she's gonna take those out
and put it in the remote?
1714
01:27:46,290 --> 01:27:47,456
I don't think so.
1715
01:27:49,498 --> 01:27:52,789
Piña Colada. Such a complex flavor.
1716
01:27:52,790 --> 01:27:54,373
Tastes like sunscreen.
1717
01:27:55,248 --> 01:27:57,705
I licked it again, what is wrong with me?
1718
01:27:57,706 --> 01:28:00,330
Even Hemingway fucked it up
on the first go.
1719
01:28:00,331 --> 01:28:02,205
Cut yourself‐Oh, I said "fuck."
1720
01:28:02,206 --> 01:28:04,247
Is this a fuck production?
1721
01:28:04,248 --> 01:28:07,373
Sexual intimacy is
something to be gained.
1722
01:28:07,956 --> 01:28:09,498
That's beautiful, sweetheart.
1723
01:28:12,040 --> 01:28:14,830
Why are you so far away from me?
I have a short arm.
1724
01:28:14,831 --> 01:28:17,580
Uggh! Uggh! Uggh!
1725
01:28:17,581 --> 01:28:18,705
Ohh!
1726
01:28:18,706 --> 01:28:20,914
Uggh!
1727
01:28:20,915 --> 01:28:22,497
Good timing.
1728
01:28:22,498 --> 01:28:24,372
That got really close that time.
1729
01:28:24,373 --> 01:28:26,205
Yeah. It looked good though.
I'm really sorry.
1730
01:28:26,206 --> 01:28:28,498
Were you not entertained?
1731
01:28:29,415 --> 01:28:31,498
So now while you are here...
1732
01:28:32,456 --> 01:28:34,040
fuckin' love...
1733
01:28:35,165 --> 01:28:36,955
Okay, so we'll follow the same protocol
1734
01:28:36,956 --> 01:28:38,622
as all‐ov‐our previous experiments‐‐
1735
01:28:38,623 --> 01:28:39,914
Oh, yeah?
1736
01:28:39,915 --> 01:28:41,122
I'm sorry.
1737
01:28:41,123 --> 01:28:42,581
Oh, yeah?
1738
01:28:44,498 --> 01:28:47,164
Say it again. "As all‐ov‐our..."
1739
01:28:47,165 --> 01:28:50,414
Ha, ha! Sorry. Blooper reel.
1740
01:28:50,415 --> 01:28:52,122
I think it went well.
Pretty good.
1741
01:28:52,123 --> 01:28:53,622
It didn't feel good,
but I think it was good.
1742
01:28:53,623 --> 01:28:54,873
Yes. Yes.
1743
01:28:56,206 --> 01:28:57,581
Cut! Great.
1744
01:29:00,081 --> 01:29:02,206
♪ Romantic ballad playing ♪
1745
01:29:05,331 --> 01:29:07,205
♪ Sometimes ♪
1746
01:29:07,206 --> 01:29:10,414
♪ Two people in love aren't meant to be ♪
1747
01:29:10,415 --> 01:29:12,872
♪ Because sometimes ♪
1748
01:29:12,873 --> 01:29:15,622
♪ They can't give each other
what they need ♪
1749
01:29:15,623 --> 01:29:17,122
♪ For them to be happy ♪
1750
01:29:17,123 --> 01:29:21,414
♪ Because happy
isn't just a one‐way street ♪
1751
01:29:21,415 --> 01:29:24,372
♪ So before you go ♪
1752
01:29:24,373 --> 01:29:27,164
♪ I hope you know ♪
1753
01:29:27,165 --> 01:29:29,914
♪ That I wish you all the best ♪
1754
01:29:29,915 --> 01:29:31,622
♪ I hope you fly like a bird ♪
1755
01:29:31,623 --> 01:29:33,580
♪ Who can finally leave the nest ♪
1756
01:29:33,581 --> 01:29:36,455
♪ I cannot wait to see ♪
1757
01:29:36,456 --> 01:29:38,789
♪ When you are happy ♪
1758
01:29:38,790 --> 01:29:42,498
♪ Though the world of us
is just a memory ♪
1759
01:29:43,248 --> 01:29:48,664
♪ After a while, I hope you'd smile
if you remember me ♪
1760
01:29:48,665 --> 01:29:51,330
♪ That I don't want to forget ♪
1761
01:29:51,331 --> 01:29:55,080
♪ I can't regret anything ♪
1762
01:29:55,081 --> 01:29:56,123
♪ At all ♪
1763
01:29:58,665 --> 01:30:00,705
♪ I wish you all the best ♪
1764
01:30:00,706 --> 01:30:02,372
♪ I hope that you get the world ♪
1765
01:30:02,373 --> 01:30:04,164
♪ And you're given all the rest ♪
1766
01:30:04,165 --> 01:30:07,247
♪ I cannot wait to see ♪
1767
01:30:07,248 --> 01:30:10,122
♪ When you are happy ♪
1768
01:30:10,123 --> 01:30:11,997
♪ I wish you all the best ♪
1769
01:30:11,998 --> 01:30:13,622
♪ I hope you fly like a bird ♪
1770
01:30:13,623 --> 01:30:15,497
♪ Who can finally leave the nest ♪
1771
01:30:15,498 --> 01:30:18,205
♪ I cannot wait to see ♪
1772
01:30:18,206 --> 01:30:21,330
♪ When you are happy ♪
128199
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