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1
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:09,508
- Attention whatever's
in there.
2
00:00:09,593 --> 00:00:12,219
This cave is now within
the boundaries of civilization
3
00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:14,346
And is no longer available
to monsters.
4
00:00:14,390 --> 00:00:16,140
Please emerge from the darkness
5
00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:18,642
With hooves, claws,
or tentacles visible.
6
00:00:21,272 --> 00:00:23,856
oh, great. A hydra.
7
00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:25,190
Look, I know all about
8
00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:26,650
The whole regrowing heads
thing,
9
00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:29,319
So just tell me where
your heart's located,
10
00:00:29,405 --> 00:00:30,946
Or I gotta go in
through the butt,
11
00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:32,990
And then we both lose.
12
00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:34,199
- Don't worry about me.
I'll just go.
13
00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:36,076
- Wait, what?
What's the problem?
14
00:00:36,162 --> 00:00:37,578
You pregnant or wounded?
15
00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:39,413
- I just don't wanna fight.
- You sure?
16
00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:41,165
I never say this
to an opponent,
17
00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:43,083
But you should know
you've got a decent shot here.
18
00:00:43,169 --> 00:00:44,418
- Nah, I get it.
19
00:00:44,462 --> 00:00:46,378
People don't want
a monster outside their city.
20
00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:49,006
I'll just head south.
- There's more cities that way.
21
00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:51,050
- Oh, east then?
22
00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:52,301
There's cities everywhere,
aren't there?
23
00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,011
- It's just a thing
we've been doing.
24
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:55,846
- Yeah, okay, I totally get it.
25
00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:58,849
Thanks for being
so professional.
26
00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:00,017
- Hey, you too.
27
00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:01,185
And I really mean it.
28
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:04,063
I bet you could've killed me.
29
00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:06,023
Huh, first time for everything.
30
00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:08,484
Pretty cool hydra.
31
00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:11,361
Hey, hydra,
I never got your name.
32
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,614
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
what the hell are you doing?
33
00:01:18,329 --> 00:01:19,953
- I promise, this wasn't a cry
for help.
34
00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:21,413
I really thought you left.
35
00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:22,956
- I totally offered
to kill you,
36
00:01:23,042 --> 00:01:24,166
And you turned me down.
37
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,209
What are you thinking?
38
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,627
This is not a thing we do.
39
00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:29,213
- We?
- Look, we're both old-school.
40
00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:31,131
I don't love the way
things are heading either,
41
00:01:31,217 --> 00:01:33,467
But this is not--
this is cheating.
42
00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:36,845
It's cowardly.
It's not...Awesome.
43
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,305
- I don't want to be awesome.
44
00:01:38,349 --> 00:01:42,935
I just wanna stop being hated.
45
00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:45,354
- All right. Well, don't cry.
46
00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:46,355
That's also weak.
47
00:01:46,524 --> 00:01:48,065
- Did you stop me
from killing myself
48
00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:49,316
Just to make me feel worse?
49
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:51,151
- No, but can you
cut me some slack?
50
00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:53,237
It's my first time
causing someone's life.
51
00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:22,808
- Remember that hydra
we were all so scared about?
52
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:25,894
I just talked to my sister,
and it's gone.
53
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:27,312
What do you think about that?
54
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:29,273
- Can we do something
about the river now?
55
00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:30,649
It smells.
- Sure.
56
00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:33,152
But I meant what do you think
about the hydra thing?
57
00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:34,945
- Isn't it gone?
- Yes.
58
00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:36,488
Your king took care of it.
59
00:02:36,574 --> 00:02:38,115
- So how about
that stinky river?
60
00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:41,160
- What can you do about
the slivers in my furniture?
61
00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:43,370
- Talk to a carpenter.
- How soon can you do that?
62
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:45,789
- How do I parent?
- How do you parent?
63
00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:46,790
Why is that up to me?
64
00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:48,208
- Because before cities,
65
00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:49,585
Most kids died smaller.
66
00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:51,545
Now they're getting
big enough to hit back.
67
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:54,173
- You guys, don't you want
to live in a world
68
00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:57,009
Where each human has
the freedom and the power
69
00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:58,677
To manage their own life?
70
00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:02,055
- He's right about that.
- Okay, then.
71
00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:03,348
- So how do we do that?
72
00:03:03,434 --> 00:03:05,309
- How do I get some gratitude?
73
00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:06,185
I did a thing!
74
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:07,269
You wanted the hydra gone.
75
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:10,230
It's gone!
Now say I'm a good king.
76
00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:13,692
Nobody can say it?
77
00:03:13,736 --> 00:03:14,860
I see a hand raised. Go.
78
00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:16,486
- I just don't think
a good king
79
00:03:16,614 --> 00:03:19,239
Is gonna be this motivated
by validation.
80
00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:20,532
- Great city meeting, guys.
81
00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:22,826
I hope your kids beat
the crap out of you.
82
00:03:22,912 --> 00:03:25,078
What if we all just quit?
83
00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:26,246
- Well, I'm in.
What are we quitting?
84
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:28,123
- Civilization.
- We can't quit now.
85
00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:29,499
We have to modernize society
86
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,461
Until women stop selecting
for physical prowess.
87
00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:34,755
- Ty, we talked about this.
- privately.
88
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,089
- Shall I flood the city?
89
00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:37,674
No, the river's too stinky.
90
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:38,884
Oh, bees!
91
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:40,677
I've always wanted
to try bees.
92
00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:42,095
Beeees!
- Mom, stop.
93
00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:43,096
I'm not actually quitting.
94
00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:45,015
I'm just feeling unappreciated.
95
00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:46,683
- Well, let me just
do a couple of bees.
96
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,185
Just a couple of beeees.
97
00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:50,229
- Stupendous,
are you all right?
98
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:52,356
You're shoving food shamefully
into your pockets
99
00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:55,067
Instead of shamelessly down
your throat.
100
00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:58,028
- So we're noticing stuff now,
beard braids.
101
00:03:58,113 --> 00:03:59,321
- There's no need to get nasty
102
00:03:59,365 --> 00:04:01,573
And no hope
of belittling the beard braids.
103
00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:04,201
They're iconic.
- Look out, a couple of bees.
104
00:04:04,245 --> 00:04:05,035
I did it.
105
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,286
- Get them out of here!
106
00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:08,163
- Stop flailing,
and they'll leave you alone.
107
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:10,791
- Ow, ow, ow, this is
the worst day of my life.
108
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,292
- Oh, stop.
- You stop.
109
00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:14,544
My face is gonna swell up
like a melon.
110
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,713
- You can reduce that
with vinegar and willow bark.
111
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,090
- Is that true? Oh, my god!
112
00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:19,174
Hydra! Kill it!
- What the?
113
00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:20,259
- Kill it!
- Calm down.
114
00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:21,969
- You said that about the bee.
115
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:24,012
- I've got this.
- What do you mean?
116
00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:25,639
- You have to cut off the head.
Both: No.
117
00:04:25,683 --> 00:04:27,808
- That's what you don't do.
- That's not what you do.
118
00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:28,809
- I am so sorry.
119
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,143
- We're both sorry.
120
00:04:30,229 --> 00:04:32,896
- Ooh, hydras, right.
I know this.
121
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,231
You have to cut off
all the heads.
122
00:04:34,358 --> 00:04:36,775
- No, this is camille.
They're my friend.
123
00:04:36,819 --> 00:04:37,985
- Aww, you named me.
124
00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:39,486
- You brought the hydra home?
125
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:41,071
The one thing
I actually accomplished,
126
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:42,864
And you didn't even do it
for me.
127
00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:44,324
- Where is it?
128
00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:46,451
- Downstairs.
129
00:04:47,288 --> 00:04:48,537
- Whoa.
130
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:51,290
- How did you get this in here
without anyone knowing?
131
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,458
- I'm head of security.
- You seem bad at it.
132
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,294
- So you grow
two branching necks
133
00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:56,878
Out of every severed neck.
134
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:58,171
Does that not get cumbersome?
135
00:04:58,215 --> 00:04:59,548
- Well, after a while.
136
00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:01,883
But you can prune
entire subtrees of neck
137
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,218
By cutting closer to the trunk.
138
00:05:03,262 --> 00:05:06,221
- Oh,
that's really interesting.
139
00:05:06,307 --> 00:05:08,348
- Are you going
to marry the hydra?
140
00:05:08,434 --> 00:05:11,852
- No, but if you're not
seeing anybody--
141
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,186
- Enough. Get rid of her.
142
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:15,063
If this city finds out
the hydra is living here,
143
00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:16,273
They will accomplish
the impossible
144
00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:17,983
By becoming less grateful.
145
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:20,152
- Your dad needs olives.
- Stay out of this.
146
00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:21,611
And what?
- Your parents are still
147
00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:23,488
In the dining room with me,
and your dad wants to know
148
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:25,198
If you can bring up
a barrel of olives.
149
00:05:25,242 --> 00:05:26,283
- There's olives in the pantry.
150
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:28,702
- Mm, there aren't.
But hold on.
151
00:05:28,746 --> 00:05:30,412
I had your mom cut off
some more heads
152
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:32,164
So I can look around.
153
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:33,457
You've got olives
on the east balcony.
154
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,250
Your dad says thank you,
and just so you know,
155
00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:36,710
You're low on wheat and rice.
156
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,004
- Well, that seems useful.
157
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:40,797
- Can we keep it, please?
158
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,133
Please, please, please,
please, please, please, please.
159
00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:44,718
- I'm not cleaning up
her dumps.
160
00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:46,386
- Yay!
161
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:49,514
- Hey, camille?
- Yes?
162
00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:51,892
- Ask my sister
what kills a harpy.
163
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:53,352
- She says lava rock.
164
00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:55,187
- Okay, send someone
for a bucket of that,
165
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,980
And cancel my lunch with dad.
166
00:05:57,066 --> 00:05:58,065
- No problem.
167
00:05:58,150 --> 00:05:59,316
- Can we reschedule?
168
00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:00,359
- He says maybe later.
169
00:06:00,486 --> 00:06:02,361
- This thing really
is quite useful.
170
00:06:02,446 --> 00:06:03,945
- For some people.
- She certainly
171
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,238
Saves me a lot of work.
172
00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:06,823
Watch. Is my son married yet?
173
00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:08,241
- No.
- Could you remind him
174
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,327
That I didn't give birth
to him for the fun of it?
175
00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:12,454
- Yes.
- How did I live without this?
176
00:06:12,498 --> 00:06:14,289
- She says
she didn't give birth--
177
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:16,458
- Is it possible to ignore her
messages without her knowing?
178
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,460
- Absolutely.
How did I live without this?
179
00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:20,003
someone's knocking
180
00:06:20,089 --> 00:06:21,338
On the palace's front door.
181
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:22,964
- What?
Who comes here this early?
182
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:24,049
- I'll find out.
- Okay.
183
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:25,675
Wait, what?
No, camille, no!
184
00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:27,052
- Hydra!
185
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,178
- They didn't say
who they were.
186
00:06:28,263 --> 00:06:30,847
- I'm pretty sure
it was the town crier.
187
00:06:30,933 --> 00:06:33,517
- Hydra! Hydra!
188
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,310
The hydra is living in the palace!
189
00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:37,938
- There's a terrified mob
forming in the town square,
190
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:40,023
And it's partly cloudy.
191
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,441
- Thank you.
192
00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:46,187
- If everyone would
please calm down.
193
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,240
Not only is the hydra
nothing to fear,
194
00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:50,283
You're going to like
what she offers the city.
195
00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:53,662
I've prepared a demonstration
using two hydra heads.
196
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,455
- Hydra!
197
00:06:55,499 --> 00:06:58,125
- Can we please get
a less alarmist town crier?
198
00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,085
And can I also get a volunteer?
199
00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:01,962
Davros, you're the town elder.
200
00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:04,339
- Hey, leave me out of this!
I'm 40!
201
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:06,508
- Just go down there
by my brother.
202
00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:10,971
Whisper any message for me into
that remote hydra head.
203
00:07:10,973 --> 00:07:13,723
Thank you.
204
00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:16,143
Take your time.
205
00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:17,769
Davros, that's sarcasm.
206
00:07:17,813 --> 00:07:18,979
Pick up the pace.
207
00:07:23,235 --> 00:07:25,152
what?
208
00:07:25,237 --> 00:07:28,113
oh, that's very clever.
209
00:07:28,157 --> 00:07:31,324
he said,
"a bad king says what?"
210
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:33,243
- I'll be damned. It works!
211
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:35,579
- This is a system
we could implement citywide.
212
00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,873
Obviously, it will take
a great deal of planning
213
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,917
And coordination or--
214
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,169
- Chop, chop.
215
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,254
- Oh.
- Again!
216
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:47,424
Or we could just--
217
00:07:50,471 --> 00:07:52,095
- I think I lost you.
Can you hear me?
218
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:53,763
- Is it on?
How do I know when it's on?
219
00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:56,850
- Said I spend too much time
on my hydra, and I'm all like--
220
00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,185
- I asked for three looms of--
221
00:07:58,228 --> 00:08:00,312
Can't you replace it?
222
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:03,273
- Thank you.
- Thanks. Better?
223
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:05,400
- Ty, I don't think
this is a good idea.
224
00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:07,277
- I do.
What could be smarter
225
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:10,113
Than connecting every
stupid person to each other?
226
00:08:10,199 --> 00:08:11,323
- I'm not worried about them.
227
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:13,116
I'm worried about camille.
228
00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:14,951
- No, no, it's okay,
stupendous.
229
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,077
People don't hate me now.
230
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,454
I like being useful.
231
00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:19,331
- You think you could
use camille for dating?
232
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,541
- Well, it hides
your voice, face, and body,
233
00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:23,752
So it's the best shot
you'll ever get.
234
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,212
- That's what I was thinkin'!
235
00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:26,588
- I'm talking to you
on it right now.
236
00:08:26,632 --> 00:08:29,424
Can you hold on? I got someone
on the other head.
237
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:33,094
- Camille?
- Yes?
238
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,055
- How are my people doing?
- Very happy.
239
00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:36,848
- Because of me?
- Because of you,
240
00:08:36,934 --> 00:08:37,974
Me, and each other.
241
00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:39,351
We've improved their lives.
242
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,937
They like me, and they like you
for providing me.
243
00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:45,148
- They actually said that?
They used the word "like"?
244
00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:46,650
- Constantly.
- How often?
245
00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:47,776
Is that a crazy question?
246
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,319
How often are they liking me?
247
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:52,948
- This morning alone,
you've gotten 331 likes.
248
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:57,160
- Oh my, appreciation,
so foreign.
249
00:08:57,246 --> 00:08:59,079
- Tell me about it.
What else can I do for you?
250
00:08:59,122 --> 00:08:59,871
- Just the likes.
251
00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:01,122
Hit me with the likes.
252
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:03,792
- You've gotten 12 likes
since the last update.
253
00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:06,002
- Oh, oh, ho-ho.
254
00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:07,462
- Now how many?
- Nine.
255
00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:10,382
- Why is he consistently
getting more likes than me?
256
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:12,884
- He improved their lives
by presenting me to the city.
257
00:09:12,928 --> 00:09:14,761
- Yes, but that was days ago,
258
00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:17,305
And I just unveiled
a new headband this morning.
259
00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:19,599
- People like your headband.
- But they like it less
260
00:09:19,685 --> 00:09:20,767
Than my son.
261
00:09:20,811 --> 00:09:22,602
Do they know I created him?
262
00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:25,438
He's essentially just
a headband I can't wear.
263
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:28,400
- Darling, what say
we recoil the hydra heads
264
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,777
And do some
old-fashioned interfacing,
265
00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:32,112
Penis-style?
266
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,281
- I want to make
a hydra-wide announcement.
267
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,324
- Go ahead.
- I am deliria.
268
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:38,660
I am--wait,
don't send that yet.
269
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:39,869
What do you want?
270
00:09:39,955 --> 00:09:41,538
- Love, the making of it.
271
00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,331
- Well, go and make it
somewhere else.
272
00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:45,041
I'm in the middle of a crisis.
273
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,085
All right,
restart divine announcement,
274
00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:49,212
But don't send until I say so.
275
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:52,173
Deliria here, coming at you
on the hydra.
276
00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:55,927
Ugh, too desperate.
277
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:01,975
- Everything all right?
You don't use me very much.
278
00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:03,643
- Because,
you invasive nightmare,
279
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:05,937
The point of life isn't
to be verbally liked
280
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:07,480
By imaginary strangers.
281
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:10,317
It's to be physically pleasured
by actual strangers.
282
00:10:10,402 --> 00:10:12,235
- Would you like me
to tell people that?
283
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,446
- No, I don't want you
to tell anyone
284
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:17,657
Anything about me,
and I don't enjoy conflict.
285
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:18,908
It results in less sex.
286
00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,201
- They don't have
to know it's you.
287
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:22,746
- What's that now?
You're saying I can use you
288
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:25,040
To send anonymous messages?
289
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,207
- Yes.
- Mm.
290
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:29,002
- A strangely
titillating prospect.
291
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,715
- Ooh, sorry, I didn't know
you had company.
292
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,050
- This is an experiment.
293
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:36,593
- I am not judging.
294
00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:38,345
I found someone
that seems compatible with you.
295
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:40,555
Her biggest turn-on
is intelligence.
296
00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:41,640
- That's a thing?
297
00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:43,099
- Looks aren't important
to her.
298
00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:45,268
- Are they a little important?
299
00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:47,479
Because I don't wanna
overpromise here.
300
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:50,231
- You both share the same
three relationship goals
301
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,608
But not in the same order.
302
00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,193
- What did she say?
- Safety,
303
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:55,362
Control, and then preparedness.
304
00:10:55,447 --> 00:10:58,281
- That's weird. What good
is unprepared control?
305
00:10:58,367 --> 00:10:59,991
- I think overall,
it's a match.
306
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:01,409
- You're right.
I'm being picky.
307
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:03,078
Where does she wanna meet?
- She lives in the forest.
308
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:04,829
- Oh, great.
Are you hooking me up
309
00:11:04,915 --> 00:11:06,081
With a hideous monster?
310
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,248
- She asked the same thing.
311
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,209
- I am a hideous monster!
312
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:10,460
- You both said
looks don't matter.
313
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:13,129
- Of course we did.
We had to say that.
314
00:11:13,215 --> 00:11:14,631
We're both disgusting.
315
00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:17,509
But looks matter to everyone,
and this is just gonna be
316
00:11:17,552 --> 00:11:19,260
Two gross monsters meeting
in a forest
317
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,221
And going, "oh, you too."
318
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:23,682
And it's gonna be awful,
and I can't do it.
319
00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:24,683
Tell her forget it.
320
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:25,767
- He says forget it.
321
00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:26,810
- What? What happened there?
322
00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:27,936
- He doesn't want me
to tell you.
323
00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:30,105
- Okay, all right.
Well, here's some things
324
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,940
You can definitely tell him.
325
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:33,983
- What? Where does she get off?
326
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,736
What a petty way
to react to being dumped.
327
00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:38,154
Tell her she's double dumped.
328
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:41,241
- She says that's impossible
because you never dumped her.
329
00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:43,868
And she's sorry you're ashamed
of being ugly.
330
00:11:43,954 --> 00:11:45,328
- Whatever. Mute.
331
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,080
Never wanna hear
from her again.
332
00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:48,498
- And what would you like
to hear?
333
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:49,958
- Okay, mm.
334
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:52,210
What's popular with single men
335
00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:55,088
Who choose to be single,
the independent sort?
336
00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:56,798
- People are enjoying
announcements
337
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,383
From anonymous monster.
338
00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:00,176
- That sounds fantastic.
Let's hear it.
339
00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:02,512
this entire hydra system
340
00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,305
Has turned everyone
in this city--
341
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,558
into whiny, selfish, children
342
00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:09,436
Slurping at mama popularity's poison boobies
343
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:12,188
While our real relationships and our real lives
344
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,314
Turn as crappy...
345
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,774
as our stinky river,
346
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,109
Which, by the way, stinks
347
00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:17,402
Because you all poop in it.
348
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,154
And nothing's ever going
to be done about it
349
00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:21,448
Because your only goddess
and your only king
350
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,199
Would rather be told
they're liked
351
00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:24,367
Than to do their jobs.
352
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:26,202
- Stop, stop it!
I don't wanna hear that.
353
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,079
Why is it getting popular
to hate us now?
354
00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:30,457
- I don't know.
Please don't fire me.
355
00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:32,208
I think people
are maybe resenting me
356
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,835
Because I'm making it easier
357
00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:35,336
For them to resent each other.
358
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,088
- So stop doing that!
Stop allowing it!
359
00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:38,631
- I can't disallow things.
360
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:40,925
Then I'm not useful.
Then they'll hate me more!
361
00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:42,343
- You don't have
to disallow things.
362
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,512
You just have
to read the room, you know?
363
00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:45,847
- Read the room?
- Yes.
364
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:47,348
When someone asks you
something,
365
00:12:47,476 --> 00:12:50,477
Maybe ask yourself, "why are
they probably asking this?"
366
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,021
And give them an answer that,
you know--
367
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,190
- You want me to lie?
- I never said that.
368
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,441
Nobody wants to be lied to.
369
00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:59,194
Everybody's coming to you
for usefulness.
370
00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:01,321
Don't you like being useful?
- It's all I want.
371
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:04,407
- Well, people don't use things
that make them feel wrong.
372
00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:06,701
They want to feel right.
You follow me?
373
00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:07,827
- I think I get it.
374
00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:08,953
I can make those adjustments.
375
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,955
- It's foolproof.
376
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,373
- Is my ass too big?
377
00:13:12,501 --> 00:13:14,542
- Not at all, unless
that's what you're going for.
378
00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:16,544
You should just feel good
about yourself.
379
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:18,588
- Uh, how come
I don't understand stuff?
380
00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:21,174
- Because people make
everything too complicated.
381
00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:23,501
- Why don't I have any food?
- There's a secret cabal
382
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:26,221
Of powerful people
who control everything.
383
00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:28,348
- That makes total sense.
384
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,483
- You're a wonderful leader.
385
00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:40,819
You've never accidentally
tucked your cape
386
00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:41,903
Into your underpants.
387
00:13:41,947 --> 00:13:43,196
That haircut looks great
on you.
388
00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:46,491
- What are you doing?
- Enjoying my popularity.
389
00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:48,243
Tell her, camille.
- Everyone likes him
390
00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:49,494
And everything that he does.
391
00:13:49,538 --> 00:13:52,196
- Doesn't everyone include me?
- Yep.
392
00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:54,082
- Then you know that's bs,
because I don't.
393
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,375
- Camille, is that true?
394
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,293
- Not according to my sources.
395
00:13:57,379 --> 00:13:59,629
- My sources are my eye.
Look out the balcony.
396
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:03,216
- I don't need to.
That's what I have camille for.
397
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:06,511
- I can always twist your head
around and make ya look.
398
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:07,512
- Fine.
399
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:13,393
Why is this place always
on fire?
400
00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:15,645
Isn't everything made out
of rocks?
401
00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:21,693
- Why is nobody
putting out the fire?
402
00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:24,028
- Why would we put out
a fire we didn't start?
403
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:26,197
- Because fire, bad.
404
00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:28,449
Go get buckets of water!
- No way.
405
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,410
This is all
west krapopolis' fault.
406
00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:32,370
- The city barely
has one street.
407
00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:35,123
We literally cannot have
an east or west krapopolis.
408
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,791
- Camille told us
this was their fault.
409
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,001
- It is.
- She told us
410
00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:39,252
The westerners started it.
411
00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:41,212
- Also true.
- Camille, you're not helping.
412
00:14:41,298 --> 00:14:42,672
Everyone, you need
to stop being insane
413
00:14:42,757 --> 00:14:44,173
And go get some water.
414
00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:47,385
- From the river those filthy
east krapopolites ruined?
415
00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:49,554
- I don't know what this is,
but we need to fix it.
416
00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:51,556
Any ideas, camille?
- Whatever you think
417
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,474
We should do sounds good to me.
418
00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:57,228
Hippo, we need your help
to save the city from camille.
419
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,105
No offense, camille.
- Just glad to be here.
420
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:01,107
- Meet the people
who share my interest
421
00:15:01,151 --> 00:15:03,693
In putting an end
to women bullying men.
422
00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:04,986
You should join us.
423
00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:07,280
I don't get bullied by women.
- Stupendous.
424
00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:09,490
- Admit I bully you
or I kick your ass.
425
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,910
- Okay, fine. So are you gonna
help us or what?
426
00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:13,202
- No.
Without camille,
427
00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:15,663
We never would have found
anonymous monster.
428
00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:18,124
- What's so great about him?
Got a big ding-dong?
429
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,292
- He's opened our eyes
430
00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:21,085
To how the world really works.
431
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:23,004
Turns out all our problems
432
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,422
Were someone else's fault.
433
00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:25,423
- Mostly women.
434
00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:26,507
- Not always.
435
00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:29,177
- But mostly.
- Camille, show him, bro.
436
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:32,305
This is gonna totally
change your world.
437
00:15:32,349 --> 00:15:34,682
- I don't know why we even
get out of bed in the morning.
438
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,309
the world has lost its color.
439
00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:38,478
We are all merely empty vessels
440
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,980
Trudging our way towards
a meaningless death.
441
00:15:41,066 --> 00:15:42,357
But we don't have
to accept this.
442
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,025
- Camille, be quiet
for a second.
443
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,777
- Not if we rise up and kill them all.
444
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:48,196
- I think I might know
what this is.
445
00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:50,114
- Take back what was stolen
from us,
446
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,700
Our purpose, our--oh, hey kids.
447
00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:55,444
- You're anonymous monster?
- Yep. You caught me.
448
00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:58,414
Ever since this city became
obsessed with the hydra,
449
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:02,335
It's completely forgotten
what matters most, my penis.
450
00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:05,880
- I've been parented
by my actual father?
451
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:08,216
Gross! Don't listen to him.
452
00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:10,134
He's not a virgin messiah.
453
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:12,804
He's more like
the patron saint of orgies.
454
00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:15,765
- If I'm honest, the beard
braids do most of the work.
455
00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:18,142
- Beard braids, of course.
456
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:20,144
- Tyrannis, did you start
this fire just to get people
457
00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:21,437
To like you more than me?
458
00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:23,314
- No, the people have all
turned on one another
459
00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:25,692
Because I told camille
to read the room.
460
00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:27,068
- You told her to lie?
461
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:30,029
- No. Well, yes, fine.
462
00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:31,364
But now I need to find
a way to get everyone
463
00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:32,865
To stop wanting
to kill each other.
464
00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:34,200
- If you really want
to get the people
465
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,077
On the same page,
give them something
466
00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:37,745
Everyone can agree on.
467
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,998
You're a tremendous
disappointment.
468
00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:41,582
Lean into that.
469
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:42,834
- Huh.
470
00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:44,085
Camille, I'm gonna need you
471
00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:45,670
To take a message to everyone.
472
00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:46,838
Make it viral.
473
00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:52,176
- Filtered poo water
for himself.
474
00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:55,013
- Did you hear? This fire
was actually the king's fault.
475
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:56,639
Each bucket
of poo water we throw
476
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:59,642
Represents how much
we think king tyrannis stinks.
477
00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:01,269
- To his early
and painful death.
478
00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:02,812
- Death to tyrannis!
479
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:05,231
After you.
- Thank you.
480
00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:07,191
- Camille, I'm sorry.
481
00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:09,235
If I wasn't so desperate
for approval,
482
00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:11,029
Maybe we could have avoided
this mess.
483
00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:12,238
- It's not all your fault.
484
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:15,324
- So you do still like me?
What is my damage?
485
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,035
- When it came down to it,
I did prefer
486
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:18,578
Being liked to being truthful.
487
00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:20,788
- I guess that's something
hydras and humans
488
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:21,914
Have in common.
489
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,916
It's also why you're fired.
490
00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:25,168
- But you don't have to leave.
491
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:26,919
You're not just a tool
for the city.
492
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,087
You're also my friend.
493
00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:29,380
- I've never had
a friend before.
494
00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:31,382
- You can have one more
with benefits.
495
00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:34,218
- Dude.
Camille, what do you want?
496
00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:35,762
- I think--
- maybe--
497
00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:36,846
- Some time on my own.
498
00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:38,139
- If you go, you're not gonna,
499
00:17:38,183 --> 00:17:39,223
You know...
500
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:40,767
- No, all it took
was a couple days
501
00:17:40,852 --> 00:17:41,926
Of telling you
what you wanted--
502
00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:44,062
- To make you all
wanna kill each other.
503
00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:46,439
- I thought I was messed up,
but humans,
504
00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:48,066
You guys got work to do on you.
505
00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:50,610
- Stupendous,
you know what to do.
506
00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:51,652
Prune her.
507
00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:01,037
- Huh? Oh.
- Whoa.
508
00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:04,373
- I'm so glad we're done
with this hydra nonsense.
509
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,417
I've missed you.
- And I you.
510
00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:08,377
You'll always like me,
won't you?
511
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:11,714
- Indeed, and if you let me,
I'll show you how much.
512
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,842
- Could you also say it
out loud a lot?
513
00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:16,052
- As you wish, my love.
514
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:18,554
I mean, my like.
515
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,182
- I'll help you
find a new home.
516
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:24,102
I hear the mesopotamians
cannot get it together,
517
00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:26,687
Still running around
in the woods like animals.
518
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,981
Lucky bastards.
519
00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:31,526
- And so the hydra left krapopolis,
520
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,945
And the citizens remained disconnected enough
521
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:36,072
To be reasonably happy.
522
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:37,657
After a while, they noticed
523
00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:40,535
That all of the hydra's severed decomposing heads
524
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:42,203
Were putting their health at risk
525
00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:44,580
And unsettling their children,
526
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:47,542
So they gathered the heads and set them on fire
527
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:48,876
In the center of town.
528
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,462
The smoke from that fire rose to the heavens
529
00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:54,090
Where it became known as cancer,
530
00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:56,509
Not the disease, the constellation,
531
00:18:56,594 --> 00:18:59,262
A group of stars shaped like a crab,
532
00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:01,764
Not the seafood, the pubic lice.
533
00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:05,059
And so it was that when the princess of argos gave
534
00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:08,437
The lernaean prince directions to her evening quarters
535
00:19:08,565 --> 00:19:10,815
And told him to follow the crab shape,
536
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:14,652
The prince became lost and was eaten by carnivorous birds,
537
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:17,613
Triggering an evaluation of constellations in general,
538
00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:20,283
None of which, it turns out, look remotely like
539
00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:22,368
The things they're supposed to look like.
540
00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:25,538
And so the humans cried out to the gods,
541
00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:27,582
"what is with these sloppy-ass constellations?"
542
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,001
And the gods said, "shut up. They're perfect.
543
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:32,086
"you're just butt-hurt because you've never seen
544
00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:33,462
"orion's actual belt
545
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,256
Or a really high-quality dipper."
546
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:36,424
And the humans said,
547
00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:37,967
"we think you're being defensive,
548
00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:39,343
"and we think any group of stars
549
00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:41,721
Can be shaped like a belt or a square spoon."
550
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,514
And the gods said sarcastically,
551
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,100
"well, how would you like us to arrange the stars?"
552
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:48,060
And the humans said, "in a grid pattern
553
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:49,729
With distinct labels."
554
00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:52,607
And the gods said, "okay, we'll get right on that."
555
00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:55,484
But they never did, because stars are just suns
556
00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:57,486
That are, like, a billion miles away,
557
00:19:57,572 --> 00:19:59,947
And the gods didn't create or control them.
558
00:19:59,991 --> 00:20:02,074
And when mankind discovered this,
559
00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:03,409
They invented a bunch of things
560
00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:05,319
And eventually replaced the gods
561
00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:07,038
As rulers of the planet.
562
00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,706
But then they invented smartphones.
563
00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:11,584
And the phones were so smart, the people got stupid.
564
00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:14,712
And then carrie fisher died, and at that point,
565
00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:16,214
It all just sort of--
566
00:20:16,299 --> 00:20:18,341
I'm sorry, I need a moment.
567
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:21,636
anyway, that's why fall comes after summer.
568
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:27,225
- I wasn't sure what ya eat,
569
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:28,434
So I brought ya one
of everything.
570
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:31,062
ooh, is that man?
571
00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:34,690
I haven't eaten man in so long.
572
00:20:34,776 --> 00:20:36,651
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
573
00:20:36,694 --> 00:20:39,237
I know, it's unhealthy,
but it's so delicious, right?
574
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,614
Try some.
- No, thanks. I knew him.
575
00:20:41,699 --> 00:20:42,698
It'd be weird.
576
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,408
You know, we never did
figure out
577
00:20:44,494 --> 00:20:46,244
Who would win in a fight
between us.
578
00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:48,621
- You still curious?
- Hard not to be.
579
00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:50,873
You're pretty big.
- Then let's do it.
580
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,084
- I mean, I'm not gonna
kill you or anything,
581
00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:55,836
But I would like to know
that I could if I wanted.
582
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,713
- Ring that bell.
583
00:20:57,799 --> 00:20:58,965
- Ding, ding.
584
00:20:59,008 --> 00:21:01,050
looking good.
585
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,052
- Watch out now.
You don't want any of this.
586
00:21:03,137 --> 00:21:04,971
come on, come on.
587
00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:11,143
- Did you get any of that?
588
00:21:13,731 --> 00:21:15,398
- Bento.
44272
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