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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,908 --> 00:00:09,477 [LOUD SNORING] 2 00:00:24,759 --> 00:00:27,195 AAH! 3 00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:30,865 [SNORING] 4 00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:35,570 UGH! 5 00:00:35,604 --> 00:00:37,906 [ALARM CLOCK BEEPING] 6 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:49,784 RISE AND SHINE, SLEEPYHEAD. 7 00:00:49,818 --> 00:00:51,352 GOOD MORNING, SWEETNESS. 8 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,521 [YAWNS] HOW DID YOU SLEEP? 9 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:57,158 OH, LIKE A ROCK. 10 00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:59,928 LIKE A ROCK. MMM. 11 00:00:59,961 --> 00:01:01,462 [WHIMPERS] 12 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:42,270 DICK, WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG? 13 00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:43,437 I'LL JUST BE A MINUTE. 14 00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:47,742 HEY, ALBRIGHT. WHAT'S WITH THE CAPE? 15 00:01:47,776 --> 00:01:48,843 WHY, TOO MUCH? 16 00:01:48,877 --> 00:01:52,413 WELL, NOT IF YOU'RE FIGHTING CRIME. 17 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:55,483 FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I THINK I LOOK GREAT. 18 00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:56,651 DICK, I'M GONNA WAIT IN THE CAR, 19 00:01:56,685 --> 00:01:59,487 I WANT TO GO OVER THE SEATING CHART FOR THE FUND-RAISER. 20 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:03,457 OH, MARY, I LOVE THAT JACKET. 21 00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,193 YEAH, THE WAY IT HAS NO BUTTONS 22 00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:07,028 AND FLOWS OFF YOUR SHOULDERS. 23 00:02:07,061 --> 00:02:09,297 IT'S NOT A JACKET, IT'S A CAPE. 24 00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,499 OH, OF COURSE. 25 00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:16,504 IF IT'S A CAPE, I DON'T LIKE IT. 26 00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:17,906 SO, UH, WHAT IS THIS THING 27 00:02:17,939 --> 00:02:19,040 YOU'RE GOING TO, ANYWAY? 28 00:02:19,073 --> 00:02:19,874 IT'S A CHARITY AUCTION. 29 00:02:19,908 --> 00:02:21,142 AND WHAT'S CHARITY, AGAIN? 30 00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:22,576 WELL, ALL I KNOW IS THEY'RE GIVING OUT 31 00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:26,514 FREE DRINKS AND PADDLES WITH NUMBERS ON THEM. 32 00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:29,250 WELL, I GUESS THAT'S WHAT CHARITY'S ALL ABOUT, 33 00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,853 GETTING LIQUORED UP AND SPANKING YOUR NEIGHBOR. 34 00:02:33,822 --> 00:02:34,789 OH, AND MARY TELLS ME 35 00:02:34,823 --> 00:02:36,825 I'LL GET TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN SOMEONE'S LIFE. 36 00:02:36,858 --> 00:02:38,059 WAIT, I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T ALLOWED 37 00:02:38,092 --> 00:02:38,860 TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE. 38 00:02:38,893 --> 00:02:40,461 NO, WE CAN MAKE LITTLE DIFFERENCES. 39 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,897 WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE GLOBAL DIFFERENCES. 40 00:02:42,931 --> 00:02:45,734 CAN WE BLOW UP THE EARTH? 41 00:02:45,767 --> 00:02:48,069 YOU SEE, THAT'S A GLOBAL DIFFERENCE. 42 00:02:48,102 --> 00:02:49,603 IT'S SO HARD TO KEEP TRACK OF ALL THIS. 43 00:02:49,637 --> 00:02:51,740 I KNOW, DON'T WE HAVE IT ALL WRITTEN DOWN SOMEPLACE? 44 00:02:51,773 --> 00:02:53,507 YEAH, IT'S ALL IN THE MISSION STATEMENT. 45 00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:54,876 WHERE IS THAT THING, ANYWAY? 46 00:02:54,909 --> 00:02:56,444 WELL, IF ANYBODY'S WONDERING, 47 00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:58,112 I DIDN'T LEAVE IT ON THE BUS. 48 00:02:58,146 --> 00:03:00,248 WELL, WE CAN'T BE ON A MISSION 49 00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:01,215 WITHOUT A MISSION STATEMENT. 50 00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:03,084 YOU GUYS ARE GONNA HAVE TO WRITE UP A NEW ONE. 51 00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:04,418 WHAT? WHY US? 52 00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:05,453 BECAUSE SUBORDINATES MUST DO 53 00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:08,990 WHATEVER THE HIGH COMMANDER SAYS. 54 00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:12,260 BOY, THAT REMINDS ME OF A MISSION STATEMENT 55 00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:14,495 I ONCE READ ON A BUS. 56 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:25,173 AAH! 57 00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:26,540 I'M OK. 58 00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:28,777 NOTHING TO SEE HERE. 59 00:03:28,810 --> 00:03:30,111 [BANG] Sally: DON? 60 00:03:30,144 --> 00:03:33,748 [BANG] OH, HEY, JIMMY. 61 00:03:33,782 --> 00:03:35,016 WHAT'S GOING ON? 62 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,151 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET ME FOR LUNCH. 63 00:03:37,185 --> 00:03:39,854 OH, SALLY, I'M SORRY, I FORGOT. 64 00:03:39,888 --> 00:03:41,689 I'VE GOT TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, 65 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,324 I DIDN'T GET MUCH SLEEP LAST NIGHT. 66 00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:46,460 REALLY? I GOT A TON, HONEY. [LAUGHS] 67 00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:48,262 I HEARD. 68 00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:52,500 OH, POOR BABY. OK, YOU KNOW WHAT? 69 00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:55,103 I'M GONNA COME OVER AT 8:00, 70 00:03:55,136 --> 00:03:57,238 AND YOU AND I ARE GONNA GO 71 00:03:57,271 --> 00:04:01,375 STRAIGHT TO BED, MISTER. OK? 72 00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:02,010 SEE YOU, JIMMY. 73 00:04:02,043 --> 00:04:03,644 [BANG] 74 00:04:07,015 --> 00:04:09,717 $60, GOING ONCE, GOING TWICE, 75 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,285 SOLD TO JUDITH DRAPER! 76 00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:12,954 COME ON UP HERE AND PICK UP 77 00:04:12,987 --> 00:04:15,689 YOUR 2-DAY PASS TO THE IROQUOIS FALLS SWEAT LODGE. 78 00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:17,225 YOU DESERVE IT. 79 00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:20,829 JUDITH DRAPER! 80 00:04:20,862 --> 00:04:23,364 OH, BEFORE WE AUCTION OFF OUR NEXT ITEM, 81 00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:26,200 LET'S ALL GIVE A HUGE ROUND OF APPLAUSE 82 00:04:26,234 --> 00:04:28,536 TO THE MAN WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS CHARITY, 83 00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:31,139 FATHER MATTHEW OF THE RUTHEFORD BOYS' HOME. 84 00:04:31,172 --> 00:04:33,741 FATHER MATTHEW! 85 00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,678 NOBODY EVER CLAPS LIKE THAT FOR ME. 86 00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:38,880 MAYBE IF YOU OPENED YOUR WALLET, 87 00:04:38,913 --> 00:04:42,150 YOU CHEAP BASTARD. 88 00:04:42,183 --> 00:04:44,819 NEXT, WE HAVE THIS OIL PAINTING 89 00:04:44,853 --> 00:04:46,554 OF THE HISTORIC GROUND BREAKING 90 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:48,990 OF THE RUTHEFORD BOYS' HOME. 91 00:04:49,023 --> 00:04:49,991 ISN'T THIS BEAUTIFUL? 92 00:04:50,024 --> 00:04:51,592 WE'LL START THE BIDDING AT $500. 93 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:52,693 WHO WILL GIVE ME $500? 94 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,362 I HAVE 5, WHO WILL GIVE ME 6? 95 00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,263 NOBODY GIVE HIM 6! 96 00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:58,666 6 FROM FATHER MATTHEW, WHO WILL GIVE ME 7? 97 00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:01,635 7! IN YOUR FACE, PADRE! 98 00:05:02,070 --> 00:05:06,074 7, 7's THE BID. NOW, DO I HEAR 8? 8, ANYONE? 99 00:05:06,107 --> 00:05:06,975 800. 100 00:05:07,008 --> 00:05:09,443 STRUDWICK! 101 00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:10,511 YOU'RE NOT GONNA LET HIM 102 00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:12,680 WALK AWAY WITH THIS LITTLE BEAUTY FOR 8, ARE YOU? 103 00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,282 I SHOULD SAY NOT. 900! 104 00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:15,749 TOP THAT, STRUDWICK. 105 00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:17,718 $1,000. 106 00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:20,254 OH, THAT IS MORE. 107 00:05:20,288 --> 00:05:22,123 YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE, SOLOMON. 108 00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:24,025 AM I? 1,100. 109 00:05:24,058 --> 00:05:25,726 12. 1,201. 110 00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:26,660 13! 14! 111 00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:27,761 15! 16! 112 00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:32,266 [WHOOPING] 17! 113 00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:35,669 $1,700. YOU'RE NOT GONNA LET HIM HAVE IT 114 00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,872 FOR $1,700, ARE YOU? 115 00:05:37,906 --> 00:05:40,508 YES. 116 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,743 17, THEN, GOING ONCE, GOING TWICE, 117 00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:45,246 SOLD TO DICK SOLOMON. 118 00:05:49,984 --> 00:05:51,319 OH, THANK YOU. 119 00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:53,988 ALL I CAN SAY IS... 120 00:05:54,022 --> 00:05:57,325 UH, CLAP LOUDER! 121 00:06:01,229 --> 00:06:03,164 OK, MISSION STATEMENT. 122 00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:06,367 MISSION STATEMENT. 123 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,002 WHAT IS OUR MISSION? 124 00:06:08,036 --> 00:06:09,670 WELL, YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS REMEMBER IT 125 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:10,972 BY OUR MISSION SONG. 126 00:06:11,005 --> 00:06:12,273 OH, RIGHT, RIGHT. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 127 00:06:12,306 --> 00:06:19,480 * ACROSS THE VOID WE COME A-WARPING * 128 00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:23,551 * DUM DIDDLE DEE LEE OOH OOH OOH OOH OOH * 129 00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:28,256 * GLORIOUS AND SOMETHING SOMETHING * 130 00:06:28,289 --> 00:06:30,324 * DUM DIDDLE DEE LEE YADDA YADDA * 131 00:06:30,358 --> 00:06:33,894 SPACESHIP! RIGHT. 132 00:06:33,928 --> 00:06:35,863 OK, LET'S JUST START FROM SCRATCH THEN. 133 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,398 WHAT IS OUR MISSION? 134 00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:42,103 TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE. 135 00:06:42,136 --> 00:06:42,937 THAT'S CLUNKY. 136 00:06:42,971 --> 00:06:44,405 YEAH, AND THAT EXCLUDES SALLY. 137 00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:47,408 MMM, AND US, TOO, TECHNICALLY, SINCE WE'RE NOT MEN. 138 00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:49,610 YEAH, YEAH, AND LOTS OF MEN HAVE BEEN HERE. 139 00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:51,712 YEAH. 140 00:06:54,015 --> 00:06:55,049 EH, LET'S PUT IT IN. 141 00:06:55,083 --> 00:06:56,917 YEAH, IT'LL GIVE DICK SOMETHING TO CUT. 142 00:06:56,951 --> 00:06:58,119 RIGHT. 143 00:07:01,122 --> 00:07:03,324 WELL, THAT'S THE NEWS. 144 00:07:03,357 --> 00:07:05,093 UM-HMM. 145 00:07:05,126 --> 00:07:07,228 I'D REALLY BETTER GET SOME SLEEP. 146 00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:09,330 OK, I'LL GO BRUSH MY TEETH. 147 00:07:09,363 --> 00:07:10,965 WELL, ACTUALLY, SALLY, 148 00:07:10,999 --> 00:07:13,968 I THINK I SHOULD SLEEP ALONE TONIGHT. 149 00:07:14,002 --> 00:07:15,069 WHY? 150 00:07:15,103 --> 00:07:19,673 BECAUSE I MIGHT GET CALLED OUT TO A 480 AT THE 212. 151 00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:24,078 A FIRE AT THE FIRE DEPARTMENT? 152 00:07:24,112 --> 00:07:25,779 ALL RIGHT, SALLY, I'LL BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU. 153 00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:29,917 UH, I CAN'T SLEEP IN THE SAME BED WITH YOU. 154 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,119 IS IT 'CAUSE I STINK? 155 00:07:31,152 --> 00:07:33,754 NO. 156 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:34,588 DROOL? 157 00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:35,556 NO. 158 00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:36,857 PEE KIND OF ORANGEY? 159 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,759 NO! 160 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,528 WELL, THEN, WHAT IS IT? 161 00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,330 YOU SNORE, SALLY. 162 00:07:42,363 --> 00:07:45,933 SNORE? I DO NOT SNORE. 163 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,802 GIRLS DO NOT SNORE. 164 00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:50,271 WELL, YOU DO. 165 00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:52,740 YOU MEAN, LIKE... [SNORTS] 166 00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:58,012 NO, IT'S MORE LIKE... [SNORTS LOUDLY] 167 00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:01,715 OH, THAT'S BAD. 168 00:08:10,124 --> 00:08:11,292 JUDITH. 169 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:13,294 DICK. 170 00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:17,198 DID YOU SAY SOMETHING ABOUT MY PAINTING? 171 00:08:17,231 --> 00:08:18,799 NO. OH. 172 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,901 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HANG 173 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,136 THAT UP IN HERE, ARE YOU? 174 00:08:22,170 --> 00:08:23,937 UH, NO, NINA. THIS IS NOT A HANGING PAINTING. 175 00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:27,741 IT'S MORE OF A WALKING AROUND PAINTING. 176 00:08:27,775 --> 00:08:31,845 OH, THAT'S NICE. WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT FOR A WALK? 177 00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:33,714 GOOD MORNING. 178 00:08:36,484 --> 00:08:38,286 MARY, I THOUGHT YOUR KIND 179 00:08:38,319 --> 00:08:42,022 DIDN'T VENTURE OUT IN DAYLIGHT. 180 00:08:42,056 --> 00:08:44,092 WELL, IF MY CAPE IS TOO HIP FOR THE ROOM, 181 00:08:44,125 --> 00:08:46,527 MAYBE I'LL JUST TAKE IT OFF. 182 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:51,765 I LOVE MY PAINTING. IT'S SO NICE. 183 00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:52,666 HERE'S YOUR MAIL. 184 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:57,438 OH, SOMETHING FROM THE BOYS' HOME. 185 00:08:57,471 --> 00:09:00,508 AH, AT LAST, THE RESPECT THAT I DESERVE. 186 00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:04,044 "DEAR SIR OR MADAM..." 187 00:09:04,078 --> 00:09:06,447 HEY, THEY'VE INVITED ME TO BECOME A PATRON. 188 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:07,648 NOT EVERYBODY GETS THAT. 189 00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:08,182 I DID. 190 00:09:08,216 --> 00:09:10,551 ME, TOO. I GOT 3. 191 00:09:12,486 --> 00:09:14,788 THIS PAINTING SUCKS! 192 00:09:21,329 --> 00:09:22,763 STRUDWICK. 193 00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:23,631 DICK. 194 00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,333 LET ME GET RIGHT TO IT. 195 00:09:25,366 --> 00:09:27,101 LAST NIGHT, I COULDN'T SLEEP 196 00:09:27,135 --> 00:09:28,669 KNOWING THAT I HAD TAKEN FROM YOU 197 00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:30,771 A PAINTING THAT IS NEAR AND DEAR TO YOUR HEART. 198 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,906 THAT'S WHY I'M WILLING TO LET YOU HAVE IT-- 199 00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,609 I DON'T WANT IT. 200 00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:38,179 YOU DIDN'T LET ME FINISH. THAT'S WHY I'M WILLING 201 00:09:38,212 --> 00:09:42,716 TO LET YOU HAVE IT FOR, SAY, $900. 202 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:43,851 FORGET IT. I NEVER WANTED 203 00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:45,386 THAT PIECE OF CRAP, ANYWAY. 204 00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:48,256 OH, REALLY? THEN WHY DID YOU BID ON IT 205 00:09:48,289 --> 00:09:51,024 LIKE A YOUNG LION IN SPRINGTIME? 206 00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:55,763 TO DRIVE UP THE PRICE AND PISS YOU OFF. 207 00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:58,532 WELL, IT DIDN'T WORK! 208 00:09:58,566 --> 00:09:59,967 OK, LET'S START AGAIN. 209 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,570 WE'LL BEGIN THE BIDDING AT, SAY, $900. 210 00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:03,937 GET LOST. THAT WAS A BID. 211 00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:04,772 THAT WAS NOT A BID. 212 00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,307 IT WAS, TOO. YOU BID $900. 213 00:10:06,340 --> 00:10:07,775 GOING ONCE, GOING TWICE. GO AWAY! 214 00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:11,379 SOLD! YOU OWE ME $900. 215 00:10:11,412 --> 00:10:13,314 WE'LL CALL IT 8. 216 00:10:13,347 --> 00:10:15,216 7, AND I GET TO KISS YOUR WIFE. 217 00:10:15,249 --> 00:10:16,016 OUT, IDIOT! 218 00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:19,019 FINE, BUT AT LEAST I HAVE SOMETHING 219 00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:21,855 TO SHOW FOR MY IDIOCY. 220 00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:27,495 AHA! SO, YOU HAVE MY PAINTING. 221 00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:37,638 [SNORING] 222 00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:40,474 SHE SNORES LIKE A PIG. 223 00:10:40,508 --> 00:10:42,310 WHY IS THIS OUR PROBLEM, AGAIN? 224 00:10:42,343 --> 00:10:43,344 WELL, READ THE FIRST PARAGRAPH 225 00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:44,245 OF OUR MISSION STATEMENT. 226 00:10:44,278 --> 00:10:46,947 MMM. "WE MUST CONFRONT ALL HUMAN PROBLEMS 227 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,949 TO UNDERSTAND THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE." 228 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,484 WHO WROTE THIS CRAP? 229 00:10:50,518 --> 00:10:51,985 THAT WAS YOU. 230 00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:53,654 IT'S GOOD. UM-HMM. 231 00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,589 WELL, MAYBE IF WE CONSTRICT 232 00:10:55,623 --> 00:10:57,725 THE AIRFLOW TO HER NOSTRILS. 233 00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,828 YEAH. 234 00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:03,197 [SNORES LOUDLY] 235 00:11:03,231 --> 00:11:04,865 UH, BETTER DO THE MOUTH, TOO. 236 00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:07,635 OK. YEAH. I'LL JUST... 237 00:11:13,607 --> 00:11:15,142 ALL RIGHT! YEAH! 238 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,378 SOMETIMES, THE MOST OBVIOUS SOLUTION 239 00:11:17,411 --> 00:11:20,013 IS THE MOST BRILLIANT. YEAH. 240 00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:21,615 NO MORE SNORING, AND SHE GETS 241 00:11:21,649 --> 00:11:23,284 ALL THE OXYGEN SHE NEEDS 242 00:11:23,317 --> 00:11:25,553 THROUGH HER, UH... 243 00:11:25,586 --> 00:11:28,922 WAIT, WHERE'S THE THIRD INTAKE AGAIN? 244 00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:31,792 THE GILLS? 245 00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:32,693 AAH! AAH! 246 00:11:32,726 --> 00:11:36,129 AAH! 247 00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:36,997 WHAT HAPPENED? 248 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,699 NOTHING. NOTHING. 249 00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:39,600 OK. 250 00:11:39,633 --> 00:11:42,870 SO, UM, HOW'D I DO? 251 00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:44,137 PISS POOR! 252 00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:51,612 HI, RUTHEFORD CLOTHING DRIVE? 253 00:11:51,645 --> 00:11:55,349 YEAH, I DONATED A DELIGHTFUL CAPE ENSEMBLE THIS MORNING, 254 00:11:55,383 --> 00:11:59,387 AND I THINK YOU MADE A MISTAKE ON THE RECEIPT. 255 00:11:59,420 --> 00:12:01,689 YEAH, YOU ESTIMATED THE VALUE AT $300. 256 00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:04,692 WELL, I PAID MUCH MORE THAN THAT. 257 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,360 I KNOW THEY HAVEN'T BEEN POPULAR 258 00:12:06,394 --> 00:12:08,362 SINCE THE 1800'S. LOOK... 259 00:12:08,396 --> 00:12:10,531 IF I PUT A ONE IN FRONT OF THE 3, 260 00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:12,966 WOULD THAT BE AGAINST YOUR RULES? 261 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,403 "DEAR FRIEND OF THE ENVIRONMENT." 262 00:12:15,436 --> 00:12:17,237 GREAT. ALL OF A SUDDEN, 263 00:12:17,271 --> 00:12:18,306 EVERY CHARITY IN THE WORLD 264 00:12:18,339 --> 00:12:19,340 IS ASKING ME FOR MONEY. 265 00:12:19,373 --> 00:12:22,142 WELL, ONCE YOU GET ON ONE CHARITY'S MAILING LIST, 266 00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:22,910 YOU'RE ON THEM ALL. 267 00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:24,412 YEAH, BUT, HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED 268 00:12:24,445 --> 00:12:26,747 TO JUDGE WHO GETS PRIORITY? 269 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,216 DO I ADOPT A FRUIT BAT, 270 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:32,420 SAVE THE RAINFOREST, OR BUILD SHELTERS 271 00:12:32,453 --> 00:12:34,087 FOR AMERICA'S HOMELESS? 272 00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:35,989 YOU JUST HELP THE ONES YOU CAN, DICK. 273 00:12:36,023 --> 00:12:37,825 YEAH, BUT WHY ME? 274 00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:41,061 WHY CAN'T THEY JUST HELP EACH OTHER? 275 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,130 AND HOW WOULD THEY DO THAT? 276 00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:45,399 SIMPLE. THE RAINFOREST GUYS CUT DOWN THE JUNGLE 277 00:12:45,433 --> 00:12:46,600 TO BUILD AFFORDABLE HOUSING, 278 00:12:46,634 --> 00:12:47,635 AMERICA'S HOMELESS MOVES IN, 279 00:12:47,668 --> 00:12:49,002 AND ONCE THEY GET SETTLED, 280 00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:51,772 THEY'LL BE HAPPY TO OPEN THEIR HOMES TO FRUIT BATS. 281 00:12:55,309 --> 00:12:58,446 IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE. 282 00:12:58,479 --> 00:12:59,680 THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. 283 00:12:59,713 --> 00:13:01,815 OH, I KNOW HOW IT WORKS. 284 00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:04,352 I FORK OVER $1,700, AND ALL I GET 285 00:13:04,385 --> 00:13:07,421 IS A PAINTING OF 2 MONKS AND A SHOVEL. 286 00:13:07,455 --> 00:13:09,357 THE GUY COULDN'T EVEN PAINT HANDS. 287 00:13:09,390 --> 00:13:12,125 THEY LOOK LIKE POTATOES. 288 00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:14,094 I WANT MY MONEY BACK! 289 00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:25,973 DON. 290 00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:29,042 HARRIET TUBMAN. 291 00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:31,278 DON. 292 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,180 SALLY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 293 00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:35,749 I FINALLY FOUND A CURE FOR MY SNORING. 294 00:13:35,783 --> 00:13:38,552 OH. 295 00:13:38,586 --> 00:13:39,286 ISN'T THAT GREAT? 296 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,821 I WON'T BE WAKING YOU UP ANYMORE. 297 00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:43,957 YEAH, THAT'S SUPER. GOOD NIGHT. 298 00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:46,360 GOOD NIGHT. 299 00:13:54,735 --> 00:13:57,771 [HUMMING] 300 00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:03,043 AREN'T YOU GONNA GO TO SLEEP? 301 00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:06,780 OH, NO. I SLEPT ALL DAY. 302 00:14:06,814 --> 00:14:09,082 WHY IS THAT? 303 00:14:09,116 --> 00:14:11,785 SO MY SNORING WOULDN'T WAKE YOU UP, SILLY. 304 00:14:11,819 --> 00:14:17,491 NOW GO BACK TO SLEEP. SHH SHH SHH SHH. OK. ALL RIGHT. 305 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:29,403 Cliff: HEY THERE, WOODY, WHAT'S THAT HAIR DOING IN MY BEER? 306 00:14:29,437 --> 00:14:32,540 Woody: I THINK IT'S THE BACKSTROKE, MR. CLAVIN. 307 00:14:32,573 --> 00:14:33,140 [LAUGHS LOUDLY] 308 00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:35,308 SALLY! 309 00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:37,711 UH, I'LL JUST, I'LL PUT IT ON CLOSED CAPTIONING. 310 00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:42,049 NORM! 311 00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:43,917 SALLY! 312 00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:08,576 STINKY. 313 00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:15,483 YUMMY. 314 00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:27,661 OH, MY GOSH. OH, MY GOSH. 315 00:15:27,695 --> 00:15:34,334 OK, OK. 316 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:40,240 OK, I'M JUST GONNA TAKE THE PILLOW AWAY. 317 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,174 COME ON. 318 00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:41,975 [BOTH GRUNT] 319 00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:43,644 AAH! 320 00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:48,616 WILL YOU JUST GO TO SLEEP? 321 00:15:48,649 --> 00:15:52,486 CAN'T YOU JUST GO TO SLEEP? 322 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:54,454 I'M SORRY. DON'T BE MAD. 323 00:15:54,488 --> 00:15:55,122 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 324 00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:59,326 I'M SORRY. REALLY SORRY. OK? 325 00:15:59,359 --> 00:16:02,229 [SNORING] 326 00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:12,405 ALL RIGHT, LET'S BRING THIS MISSION STATEMENT HOME. 327 00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:15,442 HOW WILL WE KNOW WHEN WE'VE FULFILLED THE GOAL OF OUR MISSION? 328 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:18,946 UM, WHEN WE'VE BECOME THE PERFECT HUMAN BEINGS? 329 00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:22,883 YES. YES, BUT HUMAN BEINGS BY NATURE ARE IMPERFECT. 330 00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:25,819 WAIT A SECOND. I SEE WHAT YOU'RE GOING FOR. 331 00:16:25,853 --> 00:16:28,021 YES, AND FOR THIS MISSION TO BE PERFECT, 332 00:16:28,055 --> 00:16:30,591 IT ACTUALLY HAS TO BE REALLY FLAWED. 333 00:16:30,624 --> 00:16:33,160 WELL, ALL RIGHT! IT ALREADY IS. 334 00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:35,395 I MEAN, LOOK AT YOU. 335 00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:38,065 YOU'RE THE POSTER BOY FOR IMPERFECTION. 336 00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:42,335 HOW'S THAT? 337 00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:44,738 WELL, YOUR B.O. SMELLS LIKE CHICKEN SOUP, 338 00:16:44,772 --> 00:16:48,241 AND YOU GOT B.O. A LOT. 339 00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:49,476 FAIR ENOUGH, BUT, UH, 340 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,477 DON'T SELL YOURSELF SHORT 341 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,379 IN THE IMPERFECTION DEPARTMENT, HARRY. 342 00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:53,513 HOW DO YOU MEAN? 343 00:16:53,547 --> 00:16:55,549 YOU'RE NOT SMART. 344 00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:59,553 AND YOU SCARE AWAY THE LADIES. 345 00:16:59,587 --> 00:17:02,222 I FEEL LIKE PUNCHING YOUR FACE IN. 346 00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:05,258 ME FIRST, FATSO. 347 00:17:12,933 --> 00:17:14,902 FATHER MATTHEW WILL BE RIGHT WITH YOU. 348 00:17:14,935 --> 00:17:16,704 THANK YOU. 349 00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:26,880 FATHER MATTHEW, ALLOW ME TO BE PERFECTLY FRANK. 350 00:17:26,914 --> 00:17:29,016 I AM NOT A WEALTHY MAN. 351 00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:31,685 I HAVE TO FEED AND CLOTHE A FAMILY OF 4 352 00:17:31,719 --> 00:17:34,287 ON A PROFESSOR'S MODEST SALARY. 353 00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:38,391 I CAN'T EXPECT A PRIEST TO UNDERSTAND POVERTY, 354 00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:42,730 BUT LET ME TELL YOU, I HAVE TO MAKE 355 00:17:42,763 --> 00:17:44,131 A LOT OF SACRIFICES-- 356 00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:46,634 NO, NO, PLEASE, LET ME FINISH. 357 00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:49,202 I SIMPLY HAVE NO ROOM IN MY LIMITED BUDGET 358 00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:51,338 FOR EXTRAVAGANCES LIKE CHARITY. 359 00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:53,240 THEREFORE, I AM RETURNING THIS PAINTING, 360 00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:56,243 AND I WANT YOU TO GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK. 361 00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:57,778 UNHAND ME, SIR! 362 00:17:57,811 --> 00:17:59,246 GOOD MORNING. 363 00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:00,280 OH, UH, FATHER MATTHEW. 364 00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:03,016 WELL, I'M SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING. 365 00:18:03,050 --> 00:18:05,619 BEN, THIS IS DR. SOLOMON, THE NICE MAN 366 00:18:05,653 --> 00:18:08,121 WHO GAVE US THE MONEY TO HAVE THE BUS FIXED. 367 00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:09,156 THANK YOU, DR. SOLOMON. 368 00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:12,726 OH, WELL, HEY, YOU'RE VERY WELCOME. 369 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,762 THANKS TO YOUR GENEROUS PLEDGE, 370 00:18:14,795 --> 00:18:17,564 WE CAN FIX THE BUS, AND OUR KIDS 371 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:21,401 WILL SEE THINGS THEY HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE. 372 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:25,038 THE TIRE AND RUBBER WORKS IN AKRON, 373 00:18:25,072 --> 00:18:28,809 THE MINIATURE GOLF HALL OF FAME, 374 00:18:28,842 --> 00:18:30,577 WAPAKONETA, THE HOME-- 375 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:33,313 THE BIRTHPLACE OF NEIL ARMSTRONG, 376 00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:36,383 AND OF COURSE, THE AIR AND SPACE MUSEUM, 377 00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:37,785 AND THE AQUARIUM. 378 00:18:37,818 --> 00:18:40,754 OH, YES, AQUARIUMS ARE NICE, IF YOU LIKE FISH, BUT-- 379 00:18:40,788 --> 00:18:41,855 AND THERE'S ALSO A CHANCE WE CAN 380 00:18:41,889 --> 00:18:46,293 TAKE A DAY TRIP TO SEE THE TOLEDO MUD HENS. 381 00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:49,930 NOW, THAT'S ALL VERY WELL, FATHER MATTHEW-- 382 00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:52,599 ALLOW ME TO BE PERFECTLY FRANK. 383 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:55,402 I KNOW YOU ARE NOT A WEALTHY MAN. 384 00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:56,536 NO, I--I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT-- 385 00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:58,271 AND I KNOW IT WASN'T EASY 386 00:18:58,305 --> 00:18:59,606 RAISING A FAMILY OF 4 387 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,809 ON A PROFESSOR'S MODEST SALARY-- 388 00:19:01,842 --> 00:19:02,843 YEAH, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I-- 389 00:19:02,876 --> 00:19:08,381 WHICH IS WHY YOUR GENEROSITY MEANS SO MUCH TO US. 390 00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:10,617 OH, WELL... 391 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:11,318 BUT-- 392 00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:13,887 NO, NO, PLEASE. LET ME FINISH. 393 00:19:13,921 --> 00:19:16,389 GIVEN YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES, 394 00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:19,592 YOUR GIFT MEANS SO MUCH TO US. 395 00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:22,429 SURE, MARTIN ABEND GAVE US $50,000, 396 00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:24,965 BUT HE OWNS THE BALL BEARING PLANT. 397 00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:29,336 RELATIVE TO HIM, YOUR GIFT WAS FAR MORE GENEROUS. 398 00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:31,905 YOU MEAN, I'M BETTER THAN THE RICH GUY? 399 00:19:31,939 --> 00:19:34,274 WELL, I WOULDN'T WANT TO SAY THAT-- 400 00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:35,208 NO, NO, NO, GO ON, SAY IT. 401 00:19:35,242 --> 00:19:37,745 I'M NOT GONNA TELL HIM. 402 00:19:37,778 --> 00:19:39,612 YOU ARE A GREAT MAN. 403 00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:43,550 THANK YOU, FATHER MATTHEW. YOU'RE SO RIGHT. 404 00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:46,820 SO, WHY DID YOU BRING IN THE PAINTING? 405 00:19:46,854 --> 00:19:51,391 OH, THAT. BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO, UH... 406 00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:54,728 UH, I WANT YOU TO... 407 00:19:54,762 --> 00:19:55,863 I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT. 408 00:19:55,896 --> 00:19:56,663 THANK YOU. 409 00:19:56,696 --> 00:20:00,400 NO, NO, PLEASE. THE PLEASURE'S MINE. 410 00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:03,570 NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME. 411 00:20:10,077 --> 00:20:12,045 COULD YOU EITHER GET THIS KID OFF MY LEG, 412 00:20:12,079 --> 00:20:13,513 OR ELSE PUT ANOTHER ONE ON, 413 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:17,985 BECAUSE IT'S REALLY THROWING OFF MY BALANCE. 414 00:20:21,088 --> 00:20:23,556 "THERE ARE SOME THINGS IN LIFE MONEY CAN'T BUY. 415 00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:28,428 FOR EVERYTHING ELSE, THERE'S THIS MISSION STATEMENT." 416 00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:31,598 THAT'S YOUR CONCLUSION TO THE MISSION STATEMENT? 417 00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:34,234 YEP. IT WAS BETWEEN THAT OR 418 00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:37,637 DOUBLE "A", AHNK AHNK, MC MISSION STATEMENT. 419 00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:39,773 DID YOU GUYS JUST GET BORED 420 00:20:39,807 --> 00:20:41,141 AND START WATCHING TELEVISION? 421 00:20:41,174 --> 00:20:44,744 NO. YEAH. 422 00:20:44,778 --> 00:20:48,348 YOU KNOW, IT'S WEIRD. UNTIL I STARTED SNORING, 423 00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:50,050 I NEVER REALLY APPRECIATED 424 00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:52,119 HOW MUCH DON LOVES ME. 425 00:20:52,152 --> 00:20:53,420 YEAH, AND UNTIL I STARTED GIVING, 426 00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:56,089 I NEVER REALLY APPRECIATED HOW MUCH I HAVE. 427 00:20:56,123 --> 00:20:57,958 MAN, WE'RE SO LUCKY. 428 00:20:57,991 --> 00:21:02,062 * ACROSS THE VOID WE COME A-WARPING * 429 00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:06,867 * ACROSS THE FIELDS OF STARS WE SOAR * 430 00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:11,638 * WE PLEDGE TO LAND AND SOMETHING, SOMETHING * 431 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:16,043 * DUM DEE DUM DEE DA DA DA DA...SPACESHIP * 432 00:21:16,076 --> 00:21:17,044 ONE MORE TIME! 433 00:21:17,077 --> 00:21:20,080 * ACROSS THE VOID WE COME A-WARPING * 29407

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