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1
00:00:06,908 --> 00:00:09,477
[LOUD SNORING]
2
00:00:24,759 --> 00:00:27,195
AAH!
3
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:30,865
[SNORING]
4
00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:35,570
UGH!
5
00:00:35,604 --> 00:00:37,906
[ALARM CLOCK BEEPING]
6
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:49,784
RISE AND SHINE,
SLEEPYHEAD.
7
00:00:49,818 --> 00:00:51,352
GOOD MORNING,
SWEETNESS.
8
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,521
[YAWNS]
HOW DID YOU SLEEP?
9
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:57,158
OH, LIKE A ROCK.
10
00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:59,928
LIKE A ROCK.
MMM.
11
00:00:59,961 --> 00:01:01,462
[WHIMPERS]
12
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:42,270
DICK, WHAT'S TAKING
SO LONG?
13
00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:43,437
I'LL JUST
BE A MINUTE.
14
00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:47,742
HEY, ALBRIGHT.
WHAT'S WITH THE CAPE?
15
00:01:47,776 --> 00:01:48,843
WHY, TOO MUCH?
16
00:01:48,877 --> 00:01:52,413
WELL, NOT IF YOU'RE
FIGHTING CRIME.
17
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:55,483
FOR YOUR INFORMATION,
I THINK I LOOK GREAT.
18
00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:56,651
DICK, I'M GONNA
WAIT IN THE CAR,
19
00:01:56,685 --> 00:01:59,487
I WANT TO GO OVER
THE SEATING CHART
FOR THE FUND-RAISER.
20
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:03,457
OH, MARY, I LOVE
THAT JACKET.
21
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,193
YEAH, THE WAY
IT HAS NO BUTTONS
22
00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:07,028
AND FLOWS OFF
YOUR SHOULDERS.
23
00:02:07,061 --> 00:02:09,297
IT'S NOT A JACKET,
IT'S A CAPE.
24
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,499
OH, OF COURSE.
25
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:16,504
IF IT'S A CAPE,
I DON'T LIKE IT.
26
00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:17,906
SO, UH, WHAT IS
THIS THING
27
00:02:17,939 --> 00:02:19,040
YOU'RE GOING TO,
ANYWAY?
28
00:02:19,073 --> 00:02:19,874
IT'S A CHARITY AUCTION.
29
00:02:19,908 --> 00:02:21,142
AND WHAT'S CHARITY, AGAIN?
30
00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:22,576
WELL, ALL I KNOW IS
THEY'RE GIVING OUT
31
00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:26,514
FREE DRINKS AND PADDLES
WITH NUMBERS ON THEM.
32
00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:29,250
WELL, I GUESS THAT'S
WHAT CHARITY'S ALL ABOUT,
33
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,853
GETTING LIQUORED UP
AND SPANKING YOUR NEIGHBOR.
34
00:02:33,822 --> 00:02:34,789
OH, AND MARY TELLS ME
35
00:02:34,823 --> 00:02:36,825
I'LL GET TO MAKE
A DIFFERENCE
IN SOMEONE'S LIFE.
36
00:02:36,858 --> 00:02:38,059
WAIT, I THOUGHT
WE WEREN'T ALLOWED
37
00:02:38,092 --> 00:02:38,860
TO MAKE
A DIFFERENCE.
38
00:02:38,893 --> 00:02:40,461
NO, WE CAN MAKE
LITTLE DIFFERENCES.
39
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,897
WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO
MAKE GLOBAL DIFFERENCES.
40
00:02:42,931 --> 00:02:45,734
CAN WE BLOW UP
THE EARTH?
41
00:02:45,767 --> 00:02:48,069
YOU SEE, THAT'S
A GLOBAL DIFFERENCE.
42
00:02:48,102 --> 00:02:49,603
IT'S SO HARD
TO KEEP TRACK OF ALL THIS.
43
00:02:49,637 --> 00:02:51,740
I KNOW, DON'T WE
HAVE IT ALL WRITTEN
DOWN SOMEPLACE?
44
00:02:51,773 --> 00:02:53,507
YEAH, IT'S ALL IN
THE MISSION STATEMENT.
45
00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:54,876
WHERE IS THAT THING,
ANYWAY?
46
00:02:54,909 --> 00:02:56,444
WELL, IF ANYBODY'S
WONDERING,
47
00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:58,112
I DIDN'T LEAVE IT
ON THE BUS.
48
00:02:58,146 --> 00:03:00,248
WELL, WE CAN'T BE
ON A MISSION
49
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:01,215
WITHOUT A MISSION
STATEMENT.
50
00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:03,084
YOU GUYS ARE GONNA
HAVE TO WRITE UP
A NEW ONE.
51
00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:04,418
WHAT? WHY US?
52
00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:05,453
BECAUSE SUBORDINATES
MUST DO
53
00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:08,990
WHATEVER THE HIGH
COMMANDER SAYS.
54
00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:12,260
BOY, THAT REMINDS ME
OF A MISSION STATEMENT
55
00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:14,495
I ONCE READ ON A BUS.
56
00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:25,173
AAH!
57
00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:26,540
I'M OK.
58
00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:28,777
NOTHING
TO SEE HERE.
59
00:03:28,810 --> 00:03:30,111
[BANG]
Sally: DON?
60
00:03:30,144 --> 00:03:33,748
[BANG]
OH, HEY, JIMMY.
61
00:03:33,782 --> 00:03:35,016
WHAT'S GOING ON?
62
00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,151
YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO MEET ME FOR LUNCH.
63
00:03:37,185 --> 00:03:39,854
OH, SALLY,
I'M SORRY, I FORGOT.
64
00:03:39,888 --> 00:03:41,689
I'VE GOT TO
BE HONEST WITH YOU,
65
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,324
I DIDN'T GET MUCH
SLEEP LAST NIGHT.
66
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:46,460
REALLY? I GOT
A TON, HONEY.
[LAUGHS]
67
00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:48,262
I HEARD.
68
00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:52,500
OH, POOR BABY.
OK, YOU KNOW WHAT?
69
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:55,103
I'M GONNA COME OVER
AT 8:00,
70
00:03:55,136 --> 00:03:57,238
AND YOU AND I
ARE GONNA GO
71
00:03:57,271 --> 00:04:01,375
STRAIGHT TO BED,
MISTER. OK?
72
00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:02,010
SEE YOU, JIMMY.
73
00:04:02,043 --> 00:04:03,644
[BANG]
74
00:04:07,015 --> 00:04:09,717
$60, GOING ONCE,
GOING TWICE,
75
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,285
SOLD TO JUDITH DRAPER!
76
00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:12,954
COME ON UP HERE
AND PICK UP
77
00:04:12,987 --> 00:04:15,689
YOUR 2-DAY PASS TO
THE IROQUOIS FALLS
SWEAT LODGE.
78
00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:17,225
YOU DESERVE IT.
79
00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:20,829
JUDITH DRAPER!
80
00:04:20,862 --> 00:04:23,364
OH, BEFORE
WE AUCTION OFF
OUR NEXT ITEM,
81
00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:26,200
LET'S ALL GIVE A HUGE
ROUND OF APPLAUSE
82
00:04:26,234 --> 00:04:28,536
TO THE MAN
WHO IS RESPONSIBLE
FOR THIS CHARITY,
83
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:31,139
FATHER MATTHEW OF
THE RUTHEFORD BOYS'
HOME.
84
00:04:31,172 --> 00:04:33,741
FATHER MATTHEW!
85
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,678
NOBODY EVER CLAPS
LIKE THAT FOR ME.
86
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:38,880
MAYBE IF YOU OPENED
YOUR WALLET,
87
00:04:38,913 --> 00:04:42,150
YOU CHEAP BASTARD.
88
00:04:42,183 --> 00:04:44,819
NEXT, WE HAVE
THIS OIL PAINTING
89
00:04:44,853 --> 00:04:46,554
OF THE HISTORIC
GROUND BREAKING
90
00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:48,990
OF THE RUTHEFORD
BOYS' HOME.
91
00:04:49,023 --> 00:04:49,991
ISN'T THIS BEAUTIFUL?
92
00:04:50,024 --> 00:04:51,592
WE'LL START
THE BIDDING AT $500.
93
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:52,693
WHO WILL GIVE ME $500?
94
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,362
I HAVE 5, WHO WILL
GIVE ME 6?
95
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,263
NOBODY GIVE HIM 6!
96
00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:58,666
6 FROM FATHER MATTHEW,
WHO WILL GIVE ME 7?
97
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:01,635
7! IN YOUR FACE,
PADRE!
98
00:05:02,070 --> 00:05:06,074
7, 7's THE BID.
NOW, DO I HEAR 8?
8, ANYONE?
99
00:05:06,107 --> 00:05:06,975
800.
100
00:05:07,008 --> 00:05:09,443
STRUDWICK!
101
00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:10,511
YOU'RE NOT GONNA
LET HIM
102
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:12,680
WALK AWAY WITH THIS LITTLE
BEAUTY FOR 8, ARE YOU?
103
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,282
I SHOULD SAY NOT.
900!
104
00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:15,749
TOP THAT, STRUDWICK.
105
00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:17,718
$1,000.
106
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:20,254
OH, THAT IS MORE.
107
00:05:20,288 --> 00:05:22,123
YOU'RE OUT OF
YOUR LEAGUE, SOLOMON.
108
00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:24,025
AM I? 1,100.
109
00:05:24,058 --> 00:05:25,726
12.
1,201.
110
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:26,660
13!
14!
111
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:27,761
15!
16!
112
00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:32,266
[WHOOPING]
17!
113
00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:35,669
$1,700. YOU'RE NOT
GONNA LET HIM HAVE IT
114
00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,872
FOR $1,700, ARE YOU?
115
00:05:37,906 --> 00:05:40,508
YES.
116
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,743
17, THEN, GOING ONCE,
GOING TWICE,
117
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:45,246
SOLD TO DICK SOLOMON.
118
00:05:49,984 --> 00:05:51,319
OH, THANK YOU.
119
00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:53,988
ALL I CAN SAY IS...
120
00:05:54,022 --> 00:05:57,325
UH, CLAP LOUDER!
121
00:06:01,229 --> 00:06:03,164
OK, MISSION STATEMENT.
122
00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:06,367
MISSION STATEMENT.
123
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,002
WHAT IS
OUR MISSION?
124
00:06:08,036 --> 00:06:09,670
WELL, YOU KNOW,
I ALWAYS REMEMBER IT
125
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:10,972
BY OUR MISSION SONG.
126
00:06:11,005 --> 00:06:12,273
OH, RIGHT, RIGHT.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
127
00:06:12,306 --> 00:06:19,480
* ACROSS THE VOID
WE COME A-WARPING *
128
00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:23,551
* DUM DIDDLE DEE LEE
OOH OOH OOH OOH OOH *
129
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:28,256
* GLORIOUS AND SOMETHING
SOMETHING *
130
00:06:28,289 --> 00:06:30,324
* DUM DIDDLE DEE LEE
YADDA YADDA *
131
00:06:30,358 --> 00:06:33,894
SPACESHIP!
RIGHT.
132
00:06:33,928 --> 00:06:35,863
OK, LET'S JUST START
FROM SCRATCH THEN.
133
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,398
WHAT IS OUR MISSION?
134
00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:42,103
TO BOLDLY GO
WHERE NO MAN
HAS GONE BEFORE.
135
00:06:42,136 --> 00:06:42,937
THAT'S CLUNKY.
136
00:06:42,971 --> 00:06:44,405
YEAH, AND THAT
EXCLUDES SALLY.
137
00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:47,408
MMM, AND US, TOO,
TECHNICALLY,
SINCE WE'RE NOT MEN.
138
00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:49,610
YEAH, YEAH,
AND LOTS OF MEN
HAVE BEEN HERE.
139
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:51,712
YEAH.
140
00:06:54,015 --> 00:06:55,049
EH, LET'S PUT IT IN.
141
00:06:55,083 --> 00:06:56,917
YEAH, IT'LL GIVE
DICK SOMETHING
TO CUT.
142
00:06:56,951 --> 00:06:58,119
RIGHT.
143
00:07:01,122 --> 00:07:03,324
WELL, THAT'S THE NEWS.
144
00:07:03,357 --> 00:07:05,093
UM-HMM.
145
00:07:05,126 --> 00:07:07,228
I'D REALLY BETTER
GET SOME SLEEP.
146
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:09,330
OK, I'LL GO
BRUSH MY TEETH.
147
00:07:09,363 --> 00:07:10,965
WELL, ACTUALLY, SALLY,
148
00:07:10,999 --> 00:07:13,968
I THINK I SHOULD SLEEP
ALONE TONIGHT.
149
00:07:14,002 --> 00:07:15,069
WHY?
150
00:07:15,103 --> 00:07:19,673
BECAUSE I MIGHT
GET CALLED OUT TO
A 480 AT THE 212.
151
00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:24,078
A FIRE AT
THE FIRE DEPARTMENT?
152
00:07:24,112 --> 00:07:25,779
ALL RIGHT, SALLY,
I'LL BE STRAIGHT
WITH YOU.
153
00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:29,917
UH, I CAN'T SLEEP
IN THE SAME BED
WITH YOU.
154
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,119
IS IT 'CAUSE I STINK?
155
00:07:31,152 --> 00:07:33,754
NO.
156
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:34,588
DROOL?
157
00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:35,556
NO.
158
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:36,857
PEE KIND OF ORANGEY?
159
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,759
NO!
160
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,528
WELL, THEN,
WHAT IS IT?
161
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,330
YOU SNORE, SALLY.
162
00:07:42,363 --> 00:07:45,933
SNORE?
I DO NOT SNORE.
163
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,802
GIRLS DO NOT SNORE.
164
00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:50,271
WELL, YOU DO.
165
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:52,740
YOU MEAN, LIKE...
[SNORTS]
166
00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:58,012
NO, IT'S MORE LIKE...
[SNORTS LOUDLY]
167
00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:01,715
OH, THAT'S BAD.
168
00:08:10,124 --> 00:08:11,292
JUDITH.
169
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:13,294
DICK.
170
00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:17,198
DID YOU
SAY SOMETHING
ABOUT MY PAINTING?
171
00:08:17,231 --> 00:08:18,799
NO.
OH.
172
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,901
YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO HANG
173
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,136
THAT UP IN HERE,
ARE YOU?
174
00:08:22,170 --> 00:08:23,937
UH, NO, NINA. THIS IS NOT
A HANGING PAINTING.
175
00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:27,741
IT'S MORE OF A
WALKING AROUND PAINTING.
176
00:08:27,775 --> 00:08:31,845
OH, THAT'S NICE.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT
FOR A WALK?
177
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:33,714
GOOD MORNING.
178
00:08:36,484 --> 00:08:38,286
MARY, I THOUGHT
YOUR KIND
179
00:08:38,319 --> 00:08:42,022
DIDN'T VENTURE OUT
IN DAYLIGHT.
180
00:08:42,056 --> 00:08:44,092
WELL, IF MY CAPE
IS TOO HIP FOR THE ROOM,
181
00:08:44,125 --> 00:08:46,527
MAYBE I'LL JUST
TAKE IT OFF.
182
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:51,765
I LOVE MY PAINTING.
IT'S SO NICE.
183
00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:52,666
HERE'S YOUR MAIL.
184
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:57,438
OH, SOMETHING FROM
THE BOYS' HOME.
185
00:08:57,471 --> 00:09:00,508
AH, AT LAST,
THE RESPECT
THAT I DESERVE.
186
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:04,044
"DEAR SIR
OR MADAM..."
187
00:09:04,078 --> 00:09:06,447
HEY,
THEY'VE INVITED ME
TO BECOME A PATRON.
188
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:07,648
NOT EVERYBODY
GETS THAT.
189
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:08,182
I DID.
190
00:09:08,216 --> 00:09:10,551
ME, TOO.
I GOT 3.
191
00:09:12,486 --> 00:09:14,788
THIS PAINTING SUCKS!
192
00:09:21,329 --> 00:09:22,763
STRUDWICK.
193
00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:23,631
DICK.
194
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,333
LET ME GET RIGHT TO IT.
195
00:09:25,366 --> 00:09:27,101
LAST NIGHT,
I COULDN'T SLEEP
196
00:09:27,135 --> 00:09:28,669
KNOWING THAT
I HAD TAKEN FROM YOU
197
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:30,771
A PAINTING THAT IS NEAR
AND DEAR TO YOUR HEART.
198
00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,906
THAT'S WHY I'M WILLING
TO LET YOU HAVE IT--
199
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,609
I DON'T WANT IT.
200
00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:38,179
YOU DIDN'T LET ME FINISH.
THAT'S WHY I'M WILLING
201
00:09:38,212 --> 00:09:42,716
TO LET YOU HAVE IT FOR,
SAY, $900.
202
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:43,851
FORGET IT.
I NEVER WANTED
203
00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:45,386
THAT PIECE
OF CRAP, ANYWAY.
204
00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:48,256
OH, REALLY? THEN WHY
DID YOU BID ON IT
205
00:09:48,289 --> 00:09:51,024
LIKE A YOUNG LION
IN SPRINGTIME?
206
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:55,763
TO DRIVE UP
THE PRICE
AND PISS YOU OFF.
207
00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:58,532
WELL, IT DIDN'T WORK!
208
00:09:58,566 --> 00:09:59,967
OK, LET'S START AGAIN.
209
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,570
WE'LL BEGIN THE BIDDING
AT, SAY, $900.
210
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:03,937
GET LOST.
THAT WAS A BID.
211
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:04,772
THAT WAS NOT A BID.
212
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,307
IT WAS, TOO.
YOU BID $900.
213
00:10:06,340 --> 00:10:07,775
GOING ONCE,
GOING TWICE.
GO AWAY!
214
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:11,379
SOLD! YOU OWE ME $900.
215
00:10:11,412 --> 00:10:13,314
WE'LL CALL IT 8.
216
00:10:13,347 --> 00:10:15,216
7, AND I GET TO KISS
YOUR WIFE.
217
00:10:15,249 --> 00:10:16,016
OUT, IDIOT!
218
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:19,019
FINE, BUT AT LEAST
I HAVE SOMETHING
219
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:21,855
TO SHOW
FOR MY IDIOCY.
220
00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:27,495
AHA! SO, YOU HAVE
MY PAINTING.
221
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:37,638
[SNORING]
222
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:40,474
SHE SNORES
LIKE A PIG.
223
00:10:40,508 --> 00:10:42,310
WHY IS THIS
OUR PROBLEM, AGAIN?
224
00:10:42,343 --> 00:10:43,344
WELL, READ
THE FIRST PARAGRAPH
225
00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:44,245
OF OUR MISSION
STATEMENT.
226
00:10:44,278 --> 00:10:46,947
MMM. "WE MUST CONFRONT
ALL HUMAN PROBLEMS
227
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,949
TO UNDERSTAND
THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE."
228
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,484
WHO WROTE THIS CRAP?
229
00:10:50,518 --> 00:10:51,985
THAT WAS YOU.
230
00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:53,654
IT'S GOOD.
UM-HMM.
231
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,589
WELL, MAYBE
IF WE CONSTRICT
232
00:10:55,623 --> 00:10:57,725
THE AIRFLOW
TO HER NOSTRILS.
233
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,828
YEAH.
234
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:03,197
[SNORES LOUDLY]
235
00:11:03,231 --> 00:11:04,865
UH, BETTER DO
THE MOUTH, TOO.
236
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:07,635
OK.
YEAH. I'LL JUST...
237
00:11:13,607 --> 00:11:15,142
ALL RIGHT!
YEAH!
238
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,378
SOMETIMES, THE MOST
OBVIOUS SOLUTION
239
00:11:17,411 --> 00:11:20,013
IS THE MOST BRILLIANT.
YEAH.
240
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:21,615
NO MORE SNORING,
AND SHE GETS
241
00:11:21,649 --> 00:11:23,284
ALL THE OXYGEN
SHE NEEDS
242
00:11:23,317 --> 00:11:25,553
THROUGH HER, UH...
243
00:11:25,586 --> 00:11:28,922
WAIT, WHERE'S
THE THIRD INTAKE
AGAIN?
244
00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:31,792
THE GILLS?
245
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:32,693
AAH!
AAH!
246
00:11:32,726 --> 00:11:36,129
AAH!
247
00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:36,997
WHAT HAPPENED?
248
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,699
NOTHING.
NOTHING.
249
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:39,600
OK.
250
00:11:39,633 --> 00:11:42,870
SO, UM, HOW'D I DO?
251
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:44,137
PISS POOR!
252
00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:51,612
HI, RUTHEFORD
CLOTHING DRIVE?
253
00:11:51,645 --> 00:11:55,349
YEAH, I DONATED
A DELIGHTFUL CAPE ENSEMBLE
THIS MORNING,
254
00:11:55,383 --> 00:11:59,387
AND I THINK YOU MADE
A MISTAKE ON THE RECEIPT.
255
00:11:59,420 --> 00:12:01,689
YEAH, YOU ESTIMATED
THE VALUE AT $300.
256
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:04,692
WELL, I PAID
MUCH MORE THAN THAT.
257
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,360
I KNOW THEY
HAVEN'T BEEN POPULAR
258
00:12:06,394 --> 00:12:08,362
SINCE THE 1800'S. LOOK...
259
00:12:08,396 --> 00:12:10,531
IF I PUT A ONE
IN FRONT OF THE 3,
260
00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:12,966
WOULD THAT BE
AGAINST YOUR RULES?
261
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,403
"DEAR FRIEND OF
THE ENVIRONMENT."
262
00:12:15,436 --> 00:12:17,237
GREAT.
ALL OF A SUDDEN,
263
00:12:17,271 --> 00:12:18,306
EVERY CHARITY
IN THE WORLD
264
00:12:18,339 --> 00:12:19,340
IS ASKING ME
FOR MONEY.
265
00:12:19,373 --> 00:12:22,142
WELL, ONCE YOU GET ON ONE
CHARITY'S MAILING LIST,
266
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:22,910
YOU'RE ON THEM ALL.
267
00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:24,412
YEAH, BUT,
HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED
268
00:12:24,445 --> 00:12:26,747
TO JUDGE
WHO GETS PRIORITY?
269
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,216
DO I ADOPT
A FRUIT BAT,
270
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:32,420
SAVE THE RAINFOREST,
OR BUILD SHELTERS
271
00:12:32,453 --> 00:12:34,087
FOR AMERICA'S
HOMELESS?
272
00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:35,989
YOU JUST HELP THE ONES
YOU CAN, DICK.
273
00:12:36,023 --> 00:12:37,825
YEAH, BUT WHY ME?
274
00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:41,061
WHY CAN'T THEY JUST
HELP EACH OTHER?
275
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,130
AND HOW WOULD THEY
DO THAT?
276
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:45,399
SIMPLE.
THE RAINFOREST GUYS
CUT DOWN THE JUNGLE
277
00:12:45,433 --> 00:12:46,600
TO BUILD
AFFORDABLE HOUSING,
278
00:12:46,634 --> 00:12:47,635
AMERICA'S HOMELESS
MOVES IN,
279
00:12:47,668 --> 00:12:49,002
AND ONCE THEY
GET SETTLED,
280
00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:51,772
THEY'LL BE HAPPY
TO OPEN THEIR HOMES
TO FRUIT BATS.
281
00:12:55,309 --> 00:12:58,446
IT'S NOT
ROCKET SCIENCE.
282
00:12:58,479 --> 00:12:59,680
THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS.
283
00:12:59,713 --> 00:13:01,815
OH, I KNOW
HOW IT WORKS.
284
00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:04,352
I FORK OVER $1,700,
AND ALL I GET
285
00:13:04,385 --> 00:13:07,421
IS A PAINTING
OF 2 MONKS
AND A SHOVEL.
286
00:13:07,455 --> 00:13:09,357
THE GUY COULDN'T
EVEN PAINT HANDS.
287
00:13:09,390 --> 00:13:12,125
THEY LOOK
LIKE POTATOES.
288
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:14,094
I WANT
MY MONEY BACK!
289
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:25,973
DON.
290
00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:29,042
HARRIET TUBMAN.
291
00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:31,278
DON.
292
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,180
SALLY, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
293
00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:35,749
I FINALLY FOUND A CURE
FOR MY SNORING.
294
00:13:35,783 --> 00:13:38,552
OH.
295
00:13:38,586 --> 00:13:39,286
ISN'T THAT GREAT?
296
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,821
I WON'T BE
WAKING YOU UP ANYMORE.
297
00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:43,957
YEAH, THAT'S SUPER.
GOOD NIGHT.
298
00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:46,360
GOOD NIGHT.
299
00:13:54,735 --> 00:13:57,771
[HUMMING]
300
00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:03,043
AREN'T YOU GONNA
GO TO SLEEP?
301
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:06,780
OH, NO.
I SLEPT ALL DAY.
302
00:14:06,814 --> 00:14:09,082
WHY IS THAT?
303
00:14:09,116 --> 00:14:11,785
SO MY SNORING
WOULDN'T WAKE YOU UP,
SILLY.
304
00:14:11,819 --> 00:14:17,491
NOW GO BACK TO SLEEP.
SHH SHH SHH SHH. OK.
ALL RIGHT.
305
00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:29,403
Cliff: HEY THERE, WOODY,
WHAT'S THAT HAIR
DOING IN MY BEER?
306
00:14:29,437 --> 00:14:32,540
Woody: I THINK
IT'S THE BACKSTROKE,
MR. CLAVIN.
307
00:14:32,573 --> 00:14:33,140
[LAUGHS LOUDLY]
308
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:35,308
SALLY!
309
00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:37,711
UH, I'LL JUST, I'LL PUT IT
ON CLOSED CAPTIONING.
310
00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:42,049
NORM!
311
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:43,917
SALLY!
312
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:08,576
STINKY.
313
00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:15,483
YUMMY.
314
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:27,661
OH, MY GOSH.
OH, MY GOSH.
315
00:15:27,695 --> 00:15:34,334
OK, OK.
316
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:40,240
OK, I'M JUST GONNA TAKE
THE PILLOW AWAY.
317
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,174
COME ON.
318
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:41,975
[BOTH GRUNT]
319
00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:43,644
AAH!
320
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:48,616
WILL YOU JUST
GO TO SLEEP?
321
00:15:48,649 --> 00:15:52,486
CAN'T YOU JUST
GO TO SLEEP?
322
00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:54,454
I'M SORRY.
DON'T BE MAD.
323
00:15:54,488 --> 00:15:55,122
ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT.
324
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:59,326
I'M SORRY.
REALLY SORRY. OK?
325
00:15:59,359 --> 00:16:02,229
[SNORING]
326
00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:12,405
ALL RIGHT, LET'S BRING
THIS MISSION STATEMENT HOME.
327
00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:15,442
HOW WILL WE KNOW WHEN
WE'VE FULFILLED THE GOAL
OF OUR MISSION?
328
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:18,946
UM, WHEN WE'VE
BECOME THE PERFECT
HUMAN BEINGS?
329
00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:22,883
YES. YES, BUT HUMAN BEINGS
BY NATURE ARE IMPERFECT.
330
00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:25,819
WAIT A SECOND.
I SEE WHAT
YOU'RE GOING FOR.
331
00:16:25,853 --> 00:16:28,021
YES, AND FOR THIS MISSION
TO BE PERFECT,
332
00:16:28,055 --> 00:16:30,591
IT ACTUALLY HAS TO BE
REALLY FLAWED.
333
00:16:30,624 --> 00:16:33,160
WELL, ALL RIGHT!
IT ALREADY IS.
334
00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:35,395
I MEAN, LOOK AT YOU.
335
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:38,065
YOU'RE
THE POSTER BOY
FOR IMPERFECTION.
336
00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:42,335
HOW'S THAT?
337
00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:44,738
WELL, YOUR B.O.
SMELLS LIKE
CHICKEN SOUP,
338
00:16:44,772 --> 00:16:48,241
AND YOU GOT
B.O. A LOT.
339
00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:49,476
FAIR ENOUGH,
BUT, UH,
340
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,477
DON'T SELL
YOURSELF SHORT
341
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,379
IN THE IMPERFECTION
DEPARTMENT, HARRY.
342
00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:53,513
HOW DO YOU MEAN?
343
00:16:53,547 --> 00:16:55,549
YOU'RE NOT SMART.
344
00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:59,553
AND YOU SCARE AWAY
THE LADIES.
345
00:16:59,587 --> 00:17:02,222
I FEEL LIKE PUNCHING
YOUR FACE IN.
346
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:05,258
ME FIRST, FATSO.
347
00:17:12,933 --> 00:17:14,902
FATHER MATTHEW WILL
BE RIGHT WITH YOU.
348
00:17:14,935 --> 00:17:16,704
THANK YOU.
349
00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:26,880
FATHER MATTHEW, ALLOW ME
TO BE PERFECTLY FRANK.
350
00:17:26,914 --> 00:17:29,016
I AM NOT A WEALTHY MAN.
351
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:31,685
I HAVE TO FEED AND CLOTHE
A FAMILY OF 4
352
00:17:31,719 --> 00:17:34,287
ON A PROFESSOR'S
MODEST SALARY.
353
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:38,391
I CAN'T EXPECT A PRIEST
TO UNDERSTAND POVERTY,
354
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:42,730
BUT LET ME TELL YOU,
I HAVE TO MAKE
355
00:17:42,763 --> 00:17:44,131
A LOT OF SACRIFICES--
356
00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:46,634
NO, NO, PLEASE,
LET ME FINISH.
357
00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:49,202
I SIMPLY HAVE NO ROOM
IN MY LIMITED BUDGET
358
00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:51,338
FOR EXTRAVAGANCES
LIKE CHARITY.
359
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:53,240
THEREFORE, I AM RETURNING
THIS PAINTING,
360
00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:56,243
AND I WANT YOU
TO GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK.
361
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:57,778
UNHAND ME, SIR!
362
00:17:57,811 --> 00:17:59,246
GOOD MORNING.
363
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:00,280
OH, UH, FATHER MATTHEW.
364
00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:03,016
WELL, I'M SORRY
TO KEEP YOU WAITING.
365
00:18:03,050 --> 00:18:05,619
BEN, THIS IS
DR. SOLOMON,
THE NICE MAN
366
00:18:05,653 --> 00:18:08,121
WHO GAVE US
THE MONEY TO HAVE
THE BUS FIXED.
367
00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:09,156
THANK YOU, DR. SOLOMON.
368
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:12,726
OH, WELL, HEY,
YOU'RE VERY WELCOME.
369
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,762
THANKS TO YOUR
GENEROUS PLEDGE,
370
00:18:14,795 --> 00:18:17,564
WE CAN FIX THE BUS,
AND OUR KIDS
371
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:21,401
WILL SEE THINGS
THEY HAVE NEVER SEEN
BEFORE.
372
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:25,038
THE TIRE AND RUBBER
WORKS IN AKRON,
373
00:18:25,072 --> 00:18:28,809
THE MINIATURE GOLF
HALL OF FAME,
374
00:18:28,842 --> 00:18:30,577
WAPAKONETA,
THE HOME--
375
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:33,313
THE BIRTHPLACE
OF NEIL ARMSTRONG,
376
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:36,383
AND OF COURSE,
THE AIR
AND SPACE MUSEUM,
377
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:37,785
AND THE AQUARIUM.
378
00:18:37,818 --> 00:18:40,754
OH, YES, AQUARIUMS ARE NICE,
IF YOU LIKE FISH, BUT--
379
00:18:40,788 --> 00:18:41,855
AND THERE'S ALSO
A CHANCE WE CAN
380
00:18:41,889 --> 00:18:46,293
TAKE A DAY TRIP
TO SEE THE TOLEDO
MUD HENS.
381
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:49,930
NOW, THAT'S ALL VERY WELL,
FATHER MATTHEW--
382
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:52,599
ALLOW ME TO BE
PERFECTLY FRANK.
383
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:55,402
I KNOW YOU ARE NOT
A WEALTHY MAN.
384
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:56,536
NO, I--I WAS GOING
TO SAY THAT--
385
00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:58,271
AND I KNOW
IT WASN'T EASY
386
00:18:58,305 --> 00:18:59,606
RAISING
A FAMILY OF 4
387
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,809
ON A PROFESSOR'S
MODEST SALARY--
388
00:19:01,842 --> 00:19:02,843
YEAH, THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT I--
389
00:19:02,876 --> 00:19:08,381
WHICH IS WHY
YOUR GENEROSITY
MEANS SO MUCH TO US.
390
00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:10,617
OH, WELL...
391
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:11,318
BUT--
392
00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:13,887
NO, NO, PLEASE.
LET ME FINISH.
393
00:19:13,921 --> 00:19:16,389
GIVEN YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES,
394
00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:19,592
YOUR GIFT MEANS
SO MUCH TO US.
395
00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:22,429
SURE, MARTIN ABEND
GAVE US $50,000,
396
00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:24,965
BUT HE OWNS
THE BALL BEARING PLANT.
397
00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:29,336
RELATIVE TO HIM, YOUR GIFT
WAS FAR MORE GENEROUS.
398
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:31,905
YOU MEAN, I'M BETTER
THAN THE RICH GUY?
399
00:19:31,939 --> 00:19:34,274
WELL, I WOULDN'T WANT
TO SAY THAT--
400
00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:35,208
NO, NO, NO,
GO ON, SAY IT.
401
00:19:35,242 --> 00:19:37,745
I'M NOT GONNA
TELL HIM.
402
00:19:37,778 --> 00:19:39,612
YOU ARE A GREAT MAN.
403
00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:43,550
THANK YOU,
FATHER MATTHEW.
YOU'RE SO RIGHT.
404
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:46,820
SO, WHY DID YOU
BRING IN THE PAINTING?
405
00:19:46,854 --> 00:19:51,391
OH, THAT. BECAUSE
I WANT YOU TO, UH...
406
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:54,728
UH, I WANT YOU TO...
407
00:19:54,762 --> 00:19:55,863
I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT.
408
00:19:55,896 --> 00:19:56,663
THANK YOU.
409
00:19:56,696 --> 00:20:00,400
NO, NO, PLEASE.
THE PLEASURE'S MINE.
410
00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:03,570
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME.
411
00:20:10,077 --> 00:20:12,045
COULD YOU EITHER
GET THIS KID OFF MY LEG,
412
00:20:12,079 --> 00:20:13,513
OR ELSE PUT
ANOTHER ONE ON,
413
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:17,985
BECAUSE IT'S REALLY
THROWING OFF MY BALANCE.
414
00:20:21,088 --> 00:20:23,556
"THERE ARE SOME THINGS
IN LIFE MONEY CAN'T BUY.
415
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:28,428
FOR EVERYTHING ELSE, THERE'S
THIS MISSION STATEMENT."
416
00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:31,598
THAT'S YOUR CONCLUSION
TO THE MISSION STATEMENT?
417
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:34,234
YEP. IT WAS
BETWEEN THAT OR
418
00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:37,637
DOUBLE "A", AHNK AHNK,
MC MISSION STATEMENT.
419
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:39,773
DID YOU GUYS
JUST GET BORED
420
00:20:39,807 --> 00:20:41,141
AND START WATCHING
TELEVISION?
421
00:20:41,174 --> 00:20:44,744
NO.
YEAH.
422
00:20:44,778 --> 00:20:48,348
YOU KNOW, IT'S WEIRD.
UNTIL I STARTED SNORING,
423
00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:50,050
I NEVER REALLY
APPRECIATED
424
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:52,119
HOW MUCH
DON LOVES ME.
425
00:20:52,152 --> 00:20:53,420
YEAH, AND UNTIL
I STARTED GIVING,
426
00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:56,089
I NEVER REALLY
APPRECIATED
HOW MUCH I HAVE.
427
00:20:56,123 --> 00:20:57,958
MAN, WE'RE SO LUCKY.
428
00:20:57,991 --> 00:21:02,062
* ACROSS THE VOID
WE COME A-WARPING *
429
00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:06,867
* ACROSS THE FIELDS
OF STARS WE SOAR *
430
00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:11,638
* WE PLEDGE TO LAND AND
SOMETHING, SOMETHING *
431
00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:16,043
* DUM DEE DUM DEE
DA DA DA DA...SPACESHIP *
432
00:21:16,076 --> 00:21:17,044
ONE MORE TIME!
433
00:21:17,077 --> 00:21:20,080
* ACROSS THE VOID
WE COME A-WARPING *
29407
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