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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:08,142 UH-HUH. 2 00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:09,844 YEAH. UH-HUH. 3 00:00:09,878 --> 00:00:12,013 R-REALLY? THIS WEEKEND? 4 00:00:12,046 --> 00:00:14,015 WELL, I CAN'T SAY NO TO YOU. 5 00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:15,584 YOU'RE MARY'S MOTHER. 6 00:00:15,617 --> 00:00:17,518 YEAH, IT SOUNDS WONDERFUL. 7 00:00:17,552 --> 00:00:20,021 NO, NO. MARY DIDN'T TELL ME A THING. 8 00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:21,055 DIDN'T TELL WHO WHAT THING? 9 00:00:21,089 --> 00:00:22,423 YEAH, I'VE NOTICED THAT ABOUT HER, TOO. 10 00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:23,725 IT'S OFF-PUTTING, ISN'T IT? 11 00:00:23,758 --> 00:00:25,359 WHO'S THAT? 12 00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:26,761 IT SOUNDS TERRIFIC, MARTHA. 13 00:00:26,795 --> 00:00:28,462 MARTHA. MY MOTHER. 14 00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:30,498 YEAH. OH, GOD, NO! 15 00:00:35,970 --> 00:00:37,305 WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?! 16 00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:39,340 YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT I WAS GONNA MEET YOUR PARENTS THIS WEEKEND. 17 00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:40,408 YOU'RE NOT! 18 00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:41,910 WELL, THEY SAID THAT YOU'D MADE THE PLANS. 19 00:00:41,943 --> 00:00:44,813 A--A MONTH AGO, WHEN WE WERE ENGAGED. 20 00:00:44,846 --> 00:00:48,082 THAT WOULD BE 2 WEEKS BEFORE YOU RUINED EVERYTHING. 21 00:00:48,116 --> 00:00:50,652 OH, MARY, IT'LL BE FUN. 22 00:00:50,685 --> 00:00:52,654 TELLING MY PARENTS MY ENGAGEMENT IS OFF 23 00:00:52,687 --> 00:00:54,856 IS NOT MY IDEA OF FUN. 24 00:00:54,889 --> 00:00:55,890 WHAT, YOU HAVEN'T TOLD THEM YET? 25 00:00:55,924 --> 00:00:57,291 ARE YOU KIDDING? 26 00:00:57,325 --> 00:01:00,061 FOR YEARS THEY PREDICTED I'D BECOME AN OLD SPINSTER 27 00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:01,162 WHO SITS ALONE EVERY NIGHT 28 00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:03,531 DRINKING WINE AND TALKING TO HER CAT. 29 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,066 DOCTOR-- 30 00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:07,301 DR. ALBRIGHT, THEY WERE OUT OF THAT ZINFANDEL YOU LIKE, 31 00:01:07,335 --> 00:01:09,971 BUT I DID PICK UP YOUR DOG FOOD. 32 00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:12,106 I HAVE ONE DOG! 33 00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:15,309 MARY, PLEASE! I WON'T SAY A WORD ABOUT OUR BREAKUP. 34 00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:18,880 I CAN'T. I'M STILL IN DENIAL. 35 00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:21,482 DO YOU THINK I WANT TO SPEND MY WEEKEND 36 00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:23,517 PRETENDING TO BE ENGAGED TO A LUNATIC 37 00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:26,354 RATHER THAN TELL MY PARENTS THE TRUTH? 38 00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:30,625 I'LL PICK YOU UP IN THE MORNING. 39 00:01:30,659 --> 00:01:32,593 WE'RE JUST PRETENDING! 40 00:01:32,627 --> 00:01:34,929 IF YOU DARE TO TRY AND TOUCH ME, 41 00:01:34,963 --> 00:01:36,898 I WILL CHOKE THE LIFE OUT OF YOU. 42 00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:39,901 WELL, WHAT IF I BUMP INTO YOU ACCIDENTALLY? 43 00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:41,169 FINE. 44 00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:43,204 IN THE SHOWER? 45 00:01:44,773 --> 00:01:48,609 BE IN YOUR DRIVEWAY AT 8:00 TOMORROW. 46 00:01:48,643 --> 00:01:50,679 TOMORROW? YOU CAN'T GO AWAY. 47 00:01:50,712 --> 00:01:52,714 YOU PROMISED YOU'D HELP ME MOVE OUT OF MY APARTMENT. 48 00:01:52,747 --> 00:01:54,548 OH, I'M SO SORRY, NINA. 49 00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:55,383 OH, THANKS A LOT. 50 00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:57,151 NOW I SEE WHO'S IMPORTANT AROUND HERE. 51 00:01:57,185 --> 00:02:00,188 UH, YES, THAT WOULD BE ME. 52 00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:02,490 OK. FINE. BUT THE NEXT TIME 53 00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:04,592 YOU CAN'T SEPARATE THE CHEESE SLICES IN YOUR LUNCHABLES, 54 00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,261 DON'T COME RUNNING TO ME. 55 00:02:08,596 --> 00:02:10,598 WHAT HAVE I DONE?! 56 00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:49,738 TOMMY! HARRY! SALLY! 57 00:02:49,771 --> 00:02:50,972 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS JACKET? 58 00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:54,242 MMM, IT'S A LITTLE TWEEDY. WHOA! 59 00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:56,644 BUT YOU WIN ME OVER WITH THE PATCHES. 60 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,346 OH. 61 00:02:58,379 --> 00:02:59,781 I'VE GOT TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION 62 00:02:59,814 --> 00:03:01,716 WHEN I MEET MARY'S PARENTS. 63 00:03:01,750 --> 00:03:03,084 MARY ALBRIGHT'S PARENTS? 64 00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:03,885 Tommy: THEY'RE STILL ALIVE? 65 00:03:03,918 --> 00:03:05,653 MY GOD, THEY MUST BE SO OLD. 66 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,288 PROBABLY HAD HER REALLY YOUNG. 67 00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:09,457 NOW STOP IT! THIS IS IMPORTANT. 68 00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:11,159 I HAVE TO WIN THEIR LOVE AND RESPECT. 69 00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:14,562 WHY? YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE MARY'S LOVE AND RESPECT. 70 00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:15,563 NOT AT THE MOMENT, 71 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:18,266 BUT I'M HOPING THAT IF I WIN HER PARENTS OVER, 72 00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:19,200 SHE'LL SEE ME IN A NEW LIGHT 73 00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:21,102 AND FALL IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN. 74 00:03:21,135 --> 00:03:22,904 DICK, THAT'S GENIUS! 75 00:03:22,937 --> 00:03:23,938 I DON'T KNOW. 76 00:03:23,972 --> 00:03:25,673 I'D RATHER HAVE A RED-HOT POKER STUCK IN MY EYE 77 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,977 THAN HANG OUT WITH MY GIRLFRIEND'S MOM AND DAD. 78 00:03:29,010 --> 00:03:31,880 HEY, WHAT IF HER PARENTS HAVE A RED-HOT POKER 79 00:03:31,913 --> 00:03:36,417 AND THEY SURPRISE YOU BY STICKING IT IN YOUR EYE? 80 00:03:39,153 --> 00:03:39,988 NO. 81 00:03:40,021 --> 00:03:41,790 NO, I'M SURE THEY'RE LOVELY PEOPLE. 82 00:03:41,823 --> 00:03:43,825 AFTER ALL, THEY MIXED AND POURED 83 00:03:43,858 --> 00:03:46,394 THE DNA COCKTAIL THAT IS... 84 00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:49,297 MARY ALBRIGHT. 85 00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,699 STILL, DICK, JUST TO BE SAFE, WE SHOULD GO WITH YOU. 86 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:52,733 OH, NO, NO. 87 00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:54,068 I'VE GOT A MUCH MORE IMPORTANT ASSIGNMENT FOR YOU. 88 00:03:54,102 --> 00:03:57,005 CLEANING UP OUR PARKS AND STREAMS? 89 00:03:57,038 --> 00:03:58,272 NO. NINA'S MOVING, 90 00:03:58,306 --> 00:03:59,974 AND I VOLUNTEERED YOU TO HELP HER. 91 00:04:00,008 --> 00:04:02,811 WHAT, YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO LUG HEAVY BOXES ALL WEEKEND? 92 00:04:02,844 --> 00:04:03,677 YES. 93 00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:06,614 WELL, DO WE GET TO GO THROUGH HER STUFF? 94 00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:07,782 HOW COULD YOU NOT? 95 00:04:07,816 --> 00:04:09,650 ALL RIGHT, THEN. 96 00:04:14,055 --> 00:04:16,290 WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 97 00:04:16,324 --> 00:04:17,959 DOES MARY LOOK MORE LIKE ME OR GEORGE? 98 00:04:17,992 --> 00:04:19,560 WELL, MARTHA, I DID NOTICE 99 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,130 THAT YOU AND MARY HAVE THE SAME PATRICIAN NOSE. 100 00:04:22,163 --> 00:04:23,898 WHOA. 101 00:04:23,932 --> 00:04:26,334 I THINK SHE DOES FAVOR MARTHA'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY 102 00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:27,501 MORE THAN MINE. 103 00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:30,805 BUT AT LEAST SHE GOT HER FATHER'S GENEROUS BUTT. 104 00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:38,146 MARY, THAT EYE SHADOW 105 00:04:38,179 --> 00:04:39,814 MAKES YOU LOOK TIRED. 106 00:04:39,848 --> 00:04:41,515 THANK YOU, MOTHER. 107 00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:43,918 JUST TRYING TO HELP. 108 00:04:43,952 --> 00:04:45,119 MARTHA, DARLING, 109 00:04:45,153 --> 00:04:47,621 WHY DON'T YOU RUN AND GET THE KIDS THOSE SANDWICHES? 110 00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:50,591 WELL, YES, OF COURSE, GEORGE. 111 00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:53,895 I'LL RUN AND GET THE KIDS THOSE SANDWICHES. 112 00:04:53,928 --> 00:04:58,099 I KEEP FORGETTING YOU WERE PARALYZED IN THE WAR. 113 00:05:02,036 --> 00:05:04,138 I REALLY SHOULD GO AND HELP HER. 114 00:05:04,172 --> 00:05:08,742 I WOULDN'T WANT HER TO SLIP AND FALL INTO A BOTTLE OF GIN. 115 00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:11,245 THEY'RE VERY NICE. 116 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:13,181 NO, THEY'RE NOT. 117 00:05:13,214 --> 00:05:14,682 THEY'RE SOUR, MISERABLE PEOPLE 118 00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:16,117 WHO DON'T LIKE ANYBODY. 119 00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,218 OH, I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT FLOWERS. 120 00:05:17,251 --> 00:05:18,486 DO THEY LIKE FLOWERS? I CAN GET FLOWERS. 121 00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,054 STOP WORRYING. 122 00:05:20,088 --> 00:05:21,890 THIS TIME TOMORROW WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY HOME, 123 00:05:21,923 --> 00:05:23,257 AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN. 124 00:05:23,291 --> 00:05:25,293 I WOULDN'T BET ON IT. 125 00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:27,295 WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 126 00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:30,464 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, DICK, 127 00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:32,166 BUT WHEN I EAT HAM, I GOTTA HAVE A BEER. 128 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,202 OH, AND WHEN I DRINK BEER, I GOTTA HAVE HAM. 129 00:05:34,235 --> 00:05:36,938 HAM AND BEER. THAT'S US, GEORGE. 130 00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:47,815 AREN'T YOU DONE YET? 131 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:50,318 YEP, SNUG AS A BUG. 132 00:05:56,124 --> 00:05:59,527 OK, I THINK I MISSED A SPOT. 133 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,462 GUYS, COULD YOU PLEASE BE CAREFUL? 134 00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:02,897 YES, ABSOLUTELY. 135 00:06:02,931 --> 00:06:04,698 STARTING NOW. 136 00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:07,768 NINA, THIS PLACE IS SO GREAT. 137 00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:09,971 I MEAN, IT'S SO NICE AND CLEAN. 138 00:06:10,004 --> 00:06:13,141 WELL, IT'S EASY TO KEEP THINGS NEAT WHEN YOU LIVE ALONE. 139 00:06:13,174 --> 00:06:14,642 THE SMELL, IT SMELLS LIKE... 140 00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:15,143 [INHALES DEEPLY] 141 00:06:15,176 --> 00:06:16,978 LIKE A MALL OR... 142 00:06:17,011 --> 00:06:18,913 OR THE BAKERY OR... 143 00:06:18,947 --> 00:06:22,283 MY HOUSE SMELLS LIKE FEET OR CHEESE OR 144 00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:22,984 ROTTEN FOOD-- 145 00:06:23,017 --> 00:06:26,320 I--I GET IT. SALLY, I GET IT. 146 00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:31,225 OH, MARTHA, THIS IS THE MOST DELICIOUS, 147 00:06:31,259 --> 00:06:34,528 EXQUISITELY FLAVORED, PALATE-TEASING DISH I'VE EVER TASTED. 148 00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:36,130 WHAT DO YOU CALL IT AGAIN? 149 00:06:36,164 --> 00:06:38,666 BUSY GAL'S LASAGNA. 150 00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,035 I MUST GET THE RECIPE. 151 00:06:41,069 --> 00:06:44,205 IT'S NOODLES WITH KETCHUP ON 'EM. 152 00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:46,807 GEORGE... 153 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,509 SHUT UP. 154 00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:50,878 DON'T GIVE AWAY HER RECIPES, GEORGE. 155 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,280 THANK YOU, DICK. 156 00:06:52,313 --> 00:06:54,915 NOW, MARY, HOW ABOUT IT? MORE? 157 00:06:54,949 --> 00:06:56,550 UH, NO, MOTHER, I HAVE ENOUGH. 158 00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:57,851 SHE'S ON ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE 159 00:06:57,885 --> 00:06:59,687 CRAZY CRASH DIETS, RIGHT, DICK? 160 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,722 WELL, I JUST DON'T THINK SHE LIKES YOUR LASAGNA 161 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,257 AS MUCH AS I DO, MARTHA. 162 00:07:03,291 --> 00:07:04,558 YES, I DO, 163 00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:06,194 AND I'M NOT ON A DIET. 164 00:07:06,227 --> 00:07:08,529 I'M HAPPY THE WAY I AM. 165 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:11,065 WELL, THERE COMES A POINT WHEN YOU JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT 166 00:07:11,099 --> 00:07:13,334 WHAT THE GOOD LORD HAS GIVEN YOU. 167 00:07:14,702 --> 00:07:17,005 LORD KNOWS I HAVE. 168 00:07:18,973 --> 00:07:20,541 COME ON, DICK, LET'S SWEETEN UP YOUR DRINK. 169 00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:22,310 MMM. RIGHT. RIGHT. 170 00:07:22,343 --> 00:07:24,645 GEORGE, I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU. 171 00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:27,548 WELL, MARY... 172 00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:31,319 YOUR DADDY AND I ARE JUST TICKLED PINK 173 00:07:31,352 --> 00:07:33,554 THAT DICK IS THE ONE. 174 00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:34,722 THE ONE WHAT? 175 00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:36,757 OH, MARY MARGARET, 176 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:40,461 YOU KNOW VERY WELL THE ONE WHAT. 177 00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:41,095 MR. RIGHT. 178 00:07:41,129 --> 00:07:42,730 OH. YEAH. 179 00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:44,965 THAT'S THE PLAN. 180 00:07:44,999 --> 00:07:47,301 I'M JUST ECSTATIC. 181 00:07:47,335 --> 00:07:49,603 I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE NOT A LITTLE MORE EXCITED. 182 00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,905 OH, I AM, MOTHER. 183 00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:56,144 SOMETIMES I GET SO GIDDY I CAN HARDLY CONTAIN MYSELF. 184 00:07:57,145 --> 00:08:01,749 BUT YOU KNOW, YOU CAN ONLY SCREAM SO LONG BEFORE YOU BLACK OUT! 185 00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:16,430 I'M NINA. 186 00:08:16,464 --> 00:08:19,733 AND I'M SPECIAL BECAUSE I'M MOVING. 187 00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:20,368 I'M SALLY. 188 00:08:20,401 --> 00:08:22,870 I THINK I AM SO GREAT. 189 00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:25,539 OH, YOUR HAIR LOOKS REALLY GOOD TODAY, GIRLFRIEND. 190 00:08:25,573 --> 00:08:28,509 SHUT UP. NO, IT DOESN'T. LET'S GO GET SOME MAGAZINES. 191 00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:36,617 WELL... THAT'S ALL THE UNDERWEAR. 192 00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:38,018 LET'S GET IT DOWN TO THE TRUCK. 193 00:08:38,052 --> 00:08:39,687 OK. 194 00:08:44,425 --> 00:08:46,494 GOD, I'M GONNA MISS THIS PLACE. 195 00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:48,429 YEAH. WHY ARE YOU MOVING, 196 00:08:48,462 --> 00:08:50,098 BIG-ASS RATS? 197 00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:52,900 NO. THEY RAISED THE RENT. 198 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,202 THAT'S TOO BAD. 199 00:08:54,235 --> 00:08:56,270 IT'S SO BIG AND BRIGHT. 200 00:08:56,304 --> 00:08:57,571 MY ROOM ONLY HAS ONE WINDOW, 201 00:08:57,605 --> 00:08:59,107 AND IT LOOKS OUT ON THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE, 202 00:08:59,140 --> 00:09:00,608 AND SOMETIMES A BROWN MIST FLOATS IN 203 00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:03,311 AND MAKES MY HAIR ALL GREASY. 204 00:09:04,112 --> 00:09:07,248 IF I'D HAVE KNOWN THAT, YOU COULD'VE MOVED ON IN HERE WITH ME. 205 00:09:07,281 --> 00:09:08,682 US? 206 00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:09,783 ROOMMATES? 207 00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:11,452 JUST YOU AND ME, NO GUYS? 208 00:09:11,485 --> 00:09:13,787 YEAH. BUT IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT, I GUESS. 209 00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:15,989 NO! NO, IT'S NOT. 210 00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:17,525 FINALLY, THE LAST BOX. 211 00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:18,659 MY BACK IS KILLING ME. 212 00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,428 OH. Y-YOU GOTTA KEEP IT LOOSE. 213 00:09:20,461 --> 00:09:21,529 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO? 214 00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:24,298 YOU GO DOWN, GET ALL OF NINA'S STUFF OFF THE TRUCK, 215 00:09:24,332 --> 00:09:25,433 AND THEN YOU GO BACK TO OUR PLACE, 216 00:09:25,466 --> 00:09:27,635 GET MY STUFF, AND BRING IT BACK HERE. 217 00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:28,802 BOY. YOU REALLY THINK IT'LL WORK? 218 00:09:28,836 --> 00:09:30,504 WELL, I'M WILLING TO GIVE IT A SHOT. 219 00:09:30,538 --> 00:09:31,939 ACTUALLY, MY BACK FEELS FINE. 220 00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:34,442 OH, GET MOVING! COME ON. 221 00:09:35,309 --> 00:09:36,510 I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING, DICK. 222 00:09:36,544 --> 00:09:40,681 THIS IS ONE BAR I'LL NEVER GET THROWN OUT OF. 223 00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,450 OH, DICK, I'LL SHOW YOU WHERE THE LINENS ARE 224 00:09:42,483 --> 00:09:44,518 SO YOU CAN MAKE UP THE COUCH. 225 00:09:44,552 --> 00:09:45,486 THE COUCH? 226 00:09:45,519 --> 00:09:47,821 NOW PUMPKIN, 227 00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:49,923 IT'S PERFECTLY OK WITH DADDY AND ME 228 00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:52,092 IF YOU AND DICK SHARE THE SAME ROOM. 229 00:09:52,126 --> 00:09:53,527 NO! NO, I-IT'S NOT. 230 00:09:53,561 --> 00:09:55,996 I KNOW HOW UNCOMFORTABLE IT MAKES YOU FEEL. 231 00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,265 REALLY? 232 00:09:57,298 --> 00:09:59,900 NEVER STOPPED YOU BEFORE. 233 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,235 OH, BUT, MOM, I-- 234 00:10:01,269 --> 00:10:02,336 DON'T WORRY, PRINCESS. 235 00:10:02,370 --> 00:10:03,971 NO, IT'S FINE WITH US. 236 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,840 ABOUT TIME THIS HOUSE SAW SOME ACTION. 237 00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:07,708 NO, DAD, REALLY, I--I-- 238 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:08,676 SAY NO MORE, GEORGE! 239 00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:10,644 IT'S SETTLED. MARY AND I WILL SHARE A ROOM. 240 00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:12,112 DONE DEAL. 241 00:10:12,146 --> 00:10:13,981 NOW LET'S GO OUTSIDE AND SMOKE THESE THINGS. 242 00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:15,849 I'VE GOT SOME FUNNY STORIES ABOUT MARY. 243 00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:18,051 OH HO HO HO HO HO! 244 00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:20,254 ME, TOO. 245 00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:26,394 OH, I CANNOT WAIT TO MOVE OUT ON MY OWN. 246 00:10:26,427 --> 00:10:27,661 IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL. 247 00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:30,464 IT'S JUST THAT YOU GUYS ARE REALLY, REALLY ANNOYING, YOU KNOW? 248 00:10:30,498 --> 00:10:32,266 YEAH. ENOUGH SAID. 249 00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:34,835 SALLY, WE'RE ALL VERY HAPPY FOR YOU, 250 00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:37,104 AND I KNOW THAT THERE ARE GONNA BE SOME GOOD TIMES, 251 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:41,409 BUT THERE WILL ALSO BE SOME LONELY ONES, AND SO... 252 00:10:41,442 --> 00:10:44,378 I WANT YOU TO HAVE MY GNOME. 253 00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:47,248 NO, HARRY, YOU SEE, 254 00:10:47,281 --> 00:10:50,751 I'M MOVING TO GET AWAY FROM YOUR CRAP. 255 00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:54,222 OK! I GOT MY GNOME BACK. 256 00:10:54,255 --> 00:10:56,089 YOU KNOW, DICK WOULD NEVER GIVE YOU PERMISSION 257 00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:57,191 TO DO THIS. 258 00:10:57,225 --> 00:11:01,295 YEAH. THAT'S WHY I'M DOING IT WHILE HE'S OUT OF TOWN. 259 00:11:01,329 --> 00:11:02,896 WELL, ON THE PLUS SIDE, 260 00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:05,566 AT LEAST WE CAN TURN SALLY'S ROOM INTO A STORAGE AREA. 261 00:11:05,599 --> 00:11:08,101 WELL, WAIT A MINUTE. I DON'T HAVE A ROOM. 262 00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:10,438 OR MAYBE A COOL LITTLE MUSIC ROOM 263 00:11:10,471 --> 00:11:11,839 WITH SOME BLACK-LIGHT POSTERS. 264 00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:15,709 HELLO. MAN WITHOUT A BEDROOM HERE. 265 00:11:15,743 --> 00:11:18,279 YOU KNOW WHAT'D BE EVEN BETTER? 266 00:11:18,312 --> 00:11:20,013 A SKEEBALL PARLOR. 267 00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:21,549 SKEEBALL? 268 00:11:21,582 --> 00:11:22,850 IN OUR HOME? 269 00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:23,717 YES! 270 00:11:23,751 --> 00:11:26,019 YEAH! 271 00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:29,657 NOW HERE'S LITTLE MARY'S SIXTH BIRTHDAY PARTY. 272 00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:31,425 OH, YOU GOT HER A PONY. 273 00:11:31,459 --> 00:11:34,161 NO. THAT'S MARY. 274 00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:40,234 OH, LITTLE MARY'S CRYING. 275 00:11:40,268 --> 00:11:42,670 SHE DIDN'T WANT TO SHARE A SHEET CAKE 276 00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:45,639 WITH THE OTHER KIDS. 277 00:11:45,673 --> 00:11:47,875 OH, HERE'S THE BIG SPELLING BEE. 278 00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:49,477 MARY'S WORD IS "BECAUSE." 279 00:11:49,510 --> 00:11:50,944 WATCH HER SWEAT. 280 00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:52,246 [MARTHA LAUGHS] 281 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:53,281 George: "B" 282 00:11:53,314 --> 00:11:54,315 "E" 283 00:11:54,348 --> 00:11:55,416 "C" 284 00:11:55,449 --> 00:11:56,584 "A" 285 00:11:56,617 --> 00:11:58,652 "W"! 286 00:12:02,623 --> 00:12:04,925 AH! MAGPIE. 287 00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:08,228 WHY'D YOU MISS SUCH AN EASY WORD? 288 00:12:08,262 --> 00:12:10,364 BECAUSE. 289 00:12:10,398 --> 00:12:13,066 SHE CAN SAY IT. SHE JUST CAN'T SPELL IT. 290 00:12:14,668 --> 00:12:17,571 YOU'RE A HOOT AND A HALF, SON. 291 00:12:17,605 --> 00:12:19,840 THANK YOU, DADDY. 292 00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:23,877 DICK, CAN I SEE YOU IN THE BEDROOM? 293 00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:26,714 OH, COMING, MAGPIE. 294 00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:29,082 OH, YEAH. 295 00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:34,388 WONDERFUL. HE CALLED ME SON. 296 00:12:34,422 --> 00:12:35,523 MY PLAN IS WORKING. 297 00:12:35,556 --> 00:12:38,191 YOUR PLAN TO PISS ME OFF? 298 00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:41,128 NO. MY PLAN TO WIN THEIR HEARTS AND THEN YOURS. 299 00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:43,964 OH, SO BY JOINING IN MY PARENTS' PSYCHO MIND GAMES 300 00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:45,966 AND MOCKING MY FAT CHILDHOOD, 301 00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,801 YOU THOUGHT I'D LOVE YOU AGAIN? 302 00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:50,203 PSYCHO MIND GAMES? I--WH-- 303 00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:53,073 LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY WONDERFUL PARENTS. 304 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,075 IN 1961, MY FATHER 305 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,777 HAD AN AFFAIR WITH A STEWARDESS. 306 00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:57,778 WELL... 307 00:12:57,811 --> 00:13:00,080 YOU MEAN A FLIGHT ATTENDANT. 308 00:13:01,349 --> 00:13:02,583 NO. 309 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:05,285 A STEWARDESS. 310 00:13:05,319 --> 00:13:07,955 THAT DESPICABLE DOG! 311 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:09,423 MY MOTHER FOUND THEM TOGETHER, 312 00:13:09,457 --> 00:13:10,824 AND SHE WAS SO WONDERFUL, 313 00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:13,327 SHE DUMPED IT ALL ON ME. 314 00:13:13,361 --> 00:13:14,962 ME, DICK, 315 00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:15,929 A LITTLE GIRL. 316 00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:18,999 OH, MARY, WHAT AN AWFUL PICTURE-- 317 00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:21,669 A BITTER OLD DRUNK DESCRIBING SOME TAWDRY AFFAIR 318 00:13:21,702 --> 00:13:23,871 WHILE SPOON-FEEDING YOU STRAINED BANANAS 319 00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:27,007 AS YOU SIT IN YOUR LITTLE HIGHCHAIR. 320 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,576 WELL, I WAS 9. 321 00:13:28,609 --> 00:13:32,346 AND YOU WERE STILL EATING BABY FOOD? MY POOR MARY. 322 00:13:32,380 --> 00:13:33,681 OH, DICK, THE WHOLE-- 323 00:13:33,714 --> 00:13:35,483 THE WHOLE THING TORE ME APART. 324 00:13:35,516 --> 00:13:36,784 I FELT IT WAS MY FAULT. 325 00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:38,051 IT WAS THEIR FAULT, MARY! 326 00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:38,986 I FELT SO ALONE. 327 00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:42,556 YOU'RE NOT ALONE, MARY, NOT ANYMORE! 328 00:13:42,590 --> 00:13:46,894 AND TO THINK I HAD MY HAND IN THAT MAN'S HUMIDOR! 329 00:13:53,801 --> 00:13:55,703 OHH! 330 00:13:55,736 --> 00:13:57,104 HARRY, YOU GOTTA HELP ME WITH THIS ONE. 331 00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:59,139 IT'S FULL OF BOOKS AND ROCKS AND STUFF. 332 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,808 IT WEIGHS A TON. 333 00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:03,176 STEP ASIDE, JUNIOR. 334 00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:07,515 TIME TO CLEAN AND JERK. 335 00:14:07,548 --> 00:14:10,484 1, 2, 3. 336 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,427 IT WAS EMPTY. 337 00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:22,463 NO. 338 00:14:22,496 --> 00:14:25,666 I'M THE STRONGEST MAN IN THE WORLD. 339 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,503 THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN. 340 00:14:29,537 --> 00:14:30,804 I KNOW. 341 00:14:30,838 --> 00:14:31,972 SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TONIGHT? 342 00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:32,973 UH, I DON'T KNOW. 343 00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,108 UM, MAKE STIR-FRY AND RENT A CHICK FLICK? 344 00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:38,746 YEAH, LIKE FULL METAL JACKET. 345 00:14:38,779 --> 00:14:40,914 OR BOYS ON THE SIDE. 346 00:14:40,948 --> 00:14:43,116 RIGHT, RIGHT. BOYS ON THE SIDE. 347 00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:45,553 OR FULL METAL JACKET! 348 00:14:53,461 --> 00:14:56,396 I'LL GIVE YOU THE SECRET TO A GREAT BLOODY MARY, DICK. 349 00:14:56,430 --> 00:14:57,798 HORSERADISH. 350 00:14:57,831 --> 00:15:00,868 IT'S NOT THE HORSERADISH, GEORGIE. 351 00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:04,472 IT'S THE VODKA. 352 00:15:04,505 --> 00:15:05,539 YOU KNOW, GETTING THIS HOT TUB 353 00:15:05,573 --> 00:15:07,608 WAS THE SMARTEST THING I'VE EVER DONE. 354 00:15:07,641 --> 00:15:08,609 OH, REALLY? 355 00:15:08,642 --> 00:15:09,943 AND WHAT WOULD THE STUPIDEST, 356 00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:13,947 MOST LOATHSOME, AND HURTFUL THING BE? 357 00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:17,150 NOT GETTING THE FLOATING THERMOMETER. 358 00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:18,251 CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING, DICK? 359 00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:20,488 A DRINK? MAYBE SOME COFFEE? 360 00:15:20,521 --> 00:15:23,056 TEA. OR MAYBE ME. 361 00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:25,526 IS THAT WHAT THE LITTLE FLYING STRUMPET SAID TO ENTICE YOU? 362 00:15:25,559 --> 00:15:27,861 IS ONE SLEAZY PICKUP LINE ALL IT TAKES 363 00:15:27,895 --> 00:15:30,464 TO DESTROY A FAMILY?! 364 00:15:30,498 --> 00:15:31,632 MARY! 365 00:15:31,665 --> 00:15:33,967 FOR GOD'S SAKES. 366 00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:35,969 YOU TOLD HIM? 367 00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:37,437 I COULDN'T STAND IT ANYMORE. 368 00:15:37,471 --> 00:15:38,506 MARTHA. 369 00:15:38,539 --> 00:15:41,174 YOU TOLD OUR DAUGHTER ABOUT MY--MY--MY-- 370 00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:42,643 THAT'S RIGHT! 371 00:15:42,676 --> 00:15:44,578 YOUR LITTLE FLING. 372 00:15:44,612 --> 00:15:47,447 YOU-HOO-HOO BET I TOLD HER. 373 00:15:47,481 --> 00:15:50,117 SO SHE COULD PLAY THE MARTYR FOR 36 YEARS. 374 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:51,985 HOW DO YOU THINK I FELT? 375 00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:53,654 ALONE AND SCARED, 376 00:15:53,687 --> 00:15:56,056 A SHEET CAKE HER ONLY SOLACE. 377 00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:57,725 SHE DROVE ME TO IT, PRINCESS. 378 00:15:57,758 --> 00:15:59,627 ALL RIGHT! MAYBE I DID. 379 00:15:59,660 --> 00:16:02,496 BUT I WAS TOO FAT, 380 00:16:02,530 --> 00:16:04,698 AND I HATED MY BODY, 381 00:16:04,732 --> 00:16:08,869 AND THOSE DAMN DIET PILLS MADE ME CRAZY. 382 00:16:08,902 --> 00:16:09,903 YOU TOOK DIET PILLS? 383 00:16:09,937 --> 00:16:12,740 OUR FAMILY DOCTOR PRESCRIBED THEM. 384 00:16:12,773 --> 00:16:15,876 FOR GOD'S SAKES, IT WAS THE SIXTIES! 385 00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:19,613 SHE WENT TO DR. POWELL FOR MORE THAN JUST PILLS. 386 00:16:19,647 --> 00:16:20,581 [GASP] 387 00:16:20,614 --> 00:16:24,785 DR. POWELL?! HE HAD HAIR IN HIS EARS. 388 00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:27,721 SHE WENT TO DR. POWELL, WHO WAS HER COUSIN. 389 00:16:27,755 --> 00:16:29,557 HE WAS MY STEP-COUSIN! 390 00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:30,791 HE WAS MY GOLF PARTNER! 391 00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,225 HE WAS A MAN! 392 00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:34,361 ENOUGH! 393 00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:35,663 YOU TWO LIE TO EACH OTHER 394 00:16:35,696 --> 00:16:36,830 AND CHEAT ON EACH OTHER 395 00:16:36,864 --> 00:16:38,999 AND I'M STUCK IN THE MIDDLE. 396 00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:41,201 YOU'VE MADE MY LIFE MISERABLE. 397 00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:44,304 WHY THE HELL DID THE TWO OF YOU STAY MARRIED? 398 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:48,576 [THROUGH CLENCHED TEETH] TO TRY TO GIVE YOU A HAPPY HOME. 399 00:16:48,609 --> 00:16:50,243 OH, MY GOD! 400 00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:51,945 LOOK AT THE TWO OF YOU! 401 00:16:51,979 --> 00:16:54,247 HAVE YOU NO SHAME? 402 00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:07,761 UM, SALLY, I KNOW YOU JUST GOT HERE, 403 00:17:07,795 --> 00:17:08,629 BUT YOU LEFT YOUR SOCKS-- 404 00:17:08,662 --> 00:17:10,097 SHH. HONEY... 405 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,132 IT'S SHARK WEEK. 406 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:14,635 DO YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU MOVE THAT FUTON 407 00:17:14,668 --> 00:17:15,903 INTO YOUR ROOM? 408 00:17:15,936 --> 00:17:16,670 MY ROOM? 409 00:17:16,704 --> 00:17:18,005 YEAH. THE ROOM DOWN THE HALL. 410 00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:21,174 OH, NO. I LIKE THIS ONE. 411 00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:23,176 THIS IS THE LIVING ROOM. 412 00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:25,679 YEAH, AND I'M GONNA LIVE IN IT. 413 00:17:25,713 --> 00:17:28,181 YOU GOT TO PICK YOUR ROOM, I GET TO PICK MINE. 414 00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:29,249 NO WAY. 415 00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:31,351 LOOK, I DIDN'T COMPLAIN WHEN YOU FINISHED MY MILK. 416 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:34,622 YOUR MILK? YOU JUST WROTE "SALLY" ON MILK. 417 00:17:34,655 --> 00:17:36,556 SO THAT'S HOW IT'S GONNA BE, HUH? 418 00:17:36,590 --> 00:17:38,291 WELL, AS LONG AS WE'RE BEING HONEST WITH EACH OTHER, 419 00:17:38,325 --> 00:17:41,561 I DON'T LIKE HOW YOU LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT DOWN. 420 00:17:41,595 --> 00:17:43,964 THAT'S THE WAY WOMEN USE IT. 421 00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:46,767 YEAH, SURE. 422 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:49,169 THAT'S THE WAY WOMEN USE IT. 423 00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:50,370 LOOK, YOU KNOW, BEING YOUR ROOMMATE 424 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,172 IS NOT AS MUCH FUN AS IT USED TO BE. 425 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:54,207 YOU'VE ONLY BEEN HERE AN HOUR AND A HALF. 426 00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,877 YEAH, AND IT'S AN HOUR AND A HALF TOO LONG. 427 00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:58,378 ALL RIGHT, THIS IS IT. 428 00:17:58,411 --> 00:17:59,980 THE LAST BOX OF SHOES. 429 00:18:00,013 --> 00:18:01,581 WELL... LOAD IT UP, BOYS, 430 00:18:01,615 --> 00:18:04,184 'CAUSE I'M MOVIN' OUT! 431 00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:05,753 NO. 432 00:18:05,786 --> 00:18:08,321 ABSOLUTELY NOT! 433 00:18:10,791 --> 00:18:12,626 SALLY, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE-- 434 00:18:12,660 --> 00:18:13,593 DO IT OR I'LL KILL YOU. 435 00:18:13,627 --> 00:18:15,462 OK. 436 00:18:21,669 --> 00:18:22,836 YOU KNOW... 437 00:18:22,870 --> 00:18:24,772 THIS WEEKEND 438 00:18:24,805 --> 00:18:27,540 HAS BEEN MORE CATHARTIC FOR ME 439 00:18:27,574 --> 00:18:31,044 THAN THE ENTIRE TIME I SPENT IN REHAB. 440 00:18:33,847 --> 00:18:35,849 REHAB? 441 00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:39,386 1982. 442 00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:40,553 I KNOW. 443 00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:43,590 I SAID I WAS VISITING YOUR AUNT DEE DEE. 444 00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:45,625 OK, MARY, EVERYTHING'S PACKED. 445 00:18:45,659 --> 00:18:46,927 CHOP-CHOP, GOTTA GO. 446 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,729 DICK... 447 00:18:50,664 --> 00:18:51,899 I THINK WE SHOULD STAY. 448 00:18:51,932 --> 00:18:52,866 WHAT? 449 00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:54,334 MY PARENTS AND I HAVE BEEN TALKING 450 00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,136 SINCE THE LITTLE BLOW-UP IN THE HOT TUB, 451 00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,470 AND I THINK WE'VE MADE SOME PROGRESS. 452 00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:59,172 PROGRESS? ARE THEY GETTING A DIVORCE? 453 00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:00,774 DIVORCE? 454 00:19:00,808 --> 00:19:03,744 THEY'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 46 YEARS. 455 00:19:03,777 --> 00:19:06,714 YES, BUT 46 HORRIBLE YEARS. 456 00:19:06,747 --> 00:19:08,548 I'M SURE THEY'VE HAD THEIR UPS AND DOWNS, 457 00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:11,451 BUT IT'S ONLY MADE THEM STRONGER. THAT'S WHAT MARRIAGE IS. 458 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,721 OH, MY GOD, THEY'VE BRAINWASHED YOU. 459 00:19:13,754 --> 00:19:15,155 NOW YOU'RE ONE OF THEM. 460 00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:16,623 DICK, I WANT TO THANK YOU 461 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,892 FOR BRINGING EVERYTHING OUT IN THE OPEN. 462 00:19:18,926 --> 00:19:22,129 I FEEL LIKE A TREMENDOUS WEIGHT'S BEEN LIFTED FROM THIS FAMILY. 463 00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:23,396 I WANT TO TELL YOU TWO SOMETHING. 464 00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:25,966 THERE'S NOTHING MORE EXHILARATING THAN HONESTY. 465 00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:27,100 OH! 466 00:19:27,134 --> 00:19:29,469 OH! SO HONESTY'S YOUR GAME, IS IT? 467 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,504 YEAH, I'LL GIVE YOU HONESTY. 468 00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:32,639 YOUR PRECIOUS LITTLE 469 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,542 MARY MARGARET RAGAMUFFIN MAGPIE HAS BEEN LYING TO YOU! 470 00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:36,476 SHE DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO COME HERE 471 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,980 BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU THAT-- 472 00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:42,382 OUR ENGAGEMENT IS OFF! WE'RE THROUGH! 473 00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:44,151 BUT THAT'S OK, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO MARRY HER ANYWAY. 474 00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:46,519 I DON'T WANT TO MARRY ANYONE-- NOT AFTER MEETING YOU. 475 00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:49,757 IF THIS MARRIAGE WAS A HORSE, YOU'D SHOOT IT! 476 00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:56,129 DICK, WE FORGIVE YOU. 477 00:19:56,163 --> 00:19:57,164 FORGIVE ME? 478 00:19:57,197 --> 00:19:58,598 WOULD YOU LIKE SOME COCOA? 479 00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:01,101 I DON'T WANT ANY COCOA. I DON'T WANT ANYTHING. 480 00:20:01,134 --> 00:20:02,970 I JUST WANT TO CLIMB INTO A SPACESHIP 481 00:20:03,003 --> 00:20:05,205 AND FLY TO A FAR-OFF GALAXY, 482 00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:09,509 MILLIONS OF LIGHT-YEARS AWAY FROM THIS TWISTED AND SADISTIC 483 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,945 HUMAN FREAK SHOW! 484 00:20:13,747 --> 00:20:16,817 HE'S THE ONE. HE'S THE ONE. 485 00:20:21,088 --> 00:20:22,890 SO HOW DID THE MOVE GO? 486 00:20:22,923 --> 00:20:25,158 WELL, THE FIRST ONE WENT PRETTY SMOOTH, 487 00:20:25,192 --> 00:20:27,861 BUT THE SECOND ONE WAS A BITCH. 488 00:20:27,895 --> 00:20:30,597 WE HAD A GOOD RHYTHM GOING FOR THE THIRD MOVE, 489 00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:34,434 BUT THE FOURTH AND FIFTH MOVES WERE JUST HELL. 490 00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:35,903 WUSSIES. 491 00:20:35,936 --> 00:20:37,938 YOU KNOW, I REALLY DODGED A BULLET TODAY, DICK. 492 00:20:37,971 --> 00:20:40,473 TO THINK I WAS THIS CLOSE TO MOVING IN WITH NINA. 493 00:20:40,507 --> 00:20:44,744 HAH. SHE'S NOT NEARLY SOPHISTICATED ENOUGH FOR ME. 494 00:20:44,778 --> 00:20:46,313 I DODGED A BULLET, TOO. 495 00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:49,817 I THOUGHT MARRIAGE WAS A BEAUTIFUL UNION OF TWO SOULS. 496 00:20:49,850 --> 00:20:53,653 IT TURNS OUT IT'S A HOT, BUBBLING CHLORINATED SEA OF LIES, 497 00:20:53,686 --> 00:20:57,724 BETRAYALS, AND ADDICTIONS, AND I DON'T WANT TO GO THERE. 498 00:20:57,757 --> 00:21:00,193 WELL, I'LL GO. THAT SOUNDS RELAXING. 499 00:21:00,227 --> 00:21:03,230 NO. FROM NOW ON, WE'RE FOOTLOOSE AND FANCY-FREE. 500 00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:04,231 FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, 501 00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:07,334 PEOPLE WILL REFER TO ME AS A LIFELONG BACHELOR. 502 00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:09,202 YOU'RE NOT GONNA START WEARING PASTEL CARDIGANS 503 00:21:09,236 --> 00:21:12,639 AND OPEN UP AN ANTIQUE STORE, ARE YOU? 504 00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:16,209 WHATEVER GETS ME THE LADIES. 505 00:21:16,243 --> 00:21:19,646 YEAH, DICK, YOU'LL DO GREAT. 506 00:21:26,653 --> 00:21:29,857 GEORGE, THERE'S SOMETHING I HAVE TO TELL YOU. 507 00:21:29,890 --> 00:21:32,592 I'M LISTENING. 508 00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,962 YOU'RE NOT MARY'S FATHER. 509 00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:42,970 I'VE SUSPECTED THAT FOR A LONG TIME, MARTHA. 510 00:21:43,003 --> 00:21:44,304 DOES SHE KNOW? 511 00:21:44,337 --> 00:21:45,505 OH, DON'T BE SILLY. 512 00:21:45,538 --> 00:21:47,407 OF COURSE NOT. 513 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:48,808 GOOD. 514 00:21:50,210 --> 00:21:50,277 NEXT TIME THEY VISIT. 35423

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