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♪ I am the visual
The inspiration ♪
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00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,373
♪ That made lady
Sing the blues ♪
3
00:00:06,439 --> 00:00:08,108
♪ I'm the spark
That makes your idea bright ♪
4
00:00:08,173 --> 00:00:09,576
♪ The same spark
That lights the dark ♪
5
00:00:09,642 --> 00:00:11,411
♪ So that you can know
Your left from your right ♪
6
00:00:11,478 --> 00:00:14,013
♪ I am the ballot in your box
The bullet in the gun ♪
7
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:15,515
♪ The inner glow
That lets you know ♪
8
00:00:15,582 --> 00:00:16,616
♪ To call your brother sun ♪
9
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:17,917
♪ The story that just begun ♪
10
00:00:17,984 --> 00:00:19,285
♪ The promise
Of what's to come ♪
11
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:20,487
♪ And I'm a remain a soldier ♪
12
00:00:20,553 --> 00:00:22,422
♪ Till the war is won ♪
13
00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:25,058
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪
14
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:27,727
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪
15
00:00:27,794 --> 00:00:30,330
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪
16
00:00:30,397 --> 00:00:31,464
♪ Chop, chop, chop ♪
17
00:00:32,899 --> 00:00:33,833
MAN:
Okay.
18
00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:36,469
So tell us a little bit
about yourself.
19
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:40,774
I'm the founder of 23 different
radical leftist organizations,
20
00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:43,877
including the Africans Fighting
Racism and Oppression,
21
00:00:43,943 --> 00:00:46,446
or AFRO, if you will,
22
00:00:46,513 --> 00:00:50,450
uh, the Black Revolutionary
Organization, or BRO,
23
00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:51,684
uh...
24
00:00:51,751 --> 00:00:52,752
Yeah, sure.
25
00:00:52,819 --> 00:00:53,853
People tell me
26
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,455
I look like
Bill Cosby all the time--
27
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:56,990
I mean, excuse me--
28
00:00:57,056 --> 00:00:58,925
Dr. Bill Cosby.
29
00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:01,694
Especially when I wear
these sunglasses.
30
00:01:01,761 --> 00:01:04,596
Yeah. Yeah,
my name is Riley, son.
31
00:01:04,664 --> 00:01:05,865
But, you know, niggas call me
32
00:01:05,932 --> 00:01:08,234
a.k.a. Riley Escobar.
33
00:01:08,301 --> 00:01:09,402
You know what I'm saying?
34
00:01:09,469 --> 00:01:11,438
'Cause I be in the streets,
you know?
35
00:01:11,504 --> 00:01:14,407
I got all kinds of names,
like H.R. Paperstacks,
36
00:01:14,474 --> 00:01:17,644
uh, also known as,
a.k.a. Horse Choker.
37
00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:18,912
Uh...
38
00:01:18,978 --> 00:01:22,549
And also the Black Revolutionary
Underground Heroes.
39
00:01:22,615 --> 00:01:23,883
MAN:
Um...
40
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:24,884
BRUH?
41
00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:26,519
Yeah, BRUH.
42
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:29,222
A.k.a. Pillsbury Doughboy.
43
00:01:29,289 --> 00:01:31,758
A.k.a. Louis Rich.
44
00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:33,158
MAN:
Like the turkey bacon?
45
00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:35,295
Yeah, like the--
What?
46
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:36,830
So like I was saying,
47
00:01:36,896 --> 00:01:38,698
I've always believed
that Cosbyness
48
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,767
is next to godliness.
49
00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:43,770
So my granddad's wearing
his Bill Cosby shades,
50
00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:46,506
and I'm like,
"This nigga look blind."
51
00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:49,741
And then I thought,
"Boom, I got an idea.
52
00:01:49,809 --> 00:01:51,511
I know how we can get
this money."
53
00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:52,979
And I made a tape.
54
00:01:53,045 --> 00:01:54,481
[BEEPS]
55
00:01:57,050 --> 00:02:00,153
Dear Xzibit,
my name is Riley Freeman.
56
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:03,089
If my granddad
has one weakness,
57
00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:05,325
it's bitches.
58
00:02:05,391 --> 00:02:07,660
He's been a lonely man
59
00:02:07,727 --> 00:02:09,027
ever since he had
a bleach fight
60
00:02:09,095 --> 00:02:12,031
with his first wife
and went blind.
61
00:02:12,098 --> 00:02:15,635
[GROANING]
62
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:18,638
All he's got in this world
is his car, Dorothy.
63
00:02:18,704 --> 00:02:20,073
The car's in pretty bad shape.
64
00:02:20,139 --> 00:02:23,243
And everyone knows
that bitches don't really check
65
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:26,246
for niggas with beat-up cars.
66
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,147
I'm Robert Freeman's driver.
67
00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:30,884
And I'm tired of driving
this piece-of-shit car he got.
68
00:02:30,950 --> 00:02:32,285
Give him somethin' better.
69
00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:34,487
But maybe if he had a nicer car,
70
00:02:34,554 --> 00:02:36,589
he might be able to get a date,
71
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:38,758
and not have to pay for it.
72
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,360
[SOBBING QUIETLY]
73
00:02:40,426 --> 00:02:42,095
Please, Xzibit.
74
00:02:42,161 --> 00:02:43,463
Oh, hold up, hold up.
75
00:02:45,064 --> 00:02:46,332
[BEEPS]
76
00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:48,167
[SOBS]
77
00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:51,871
Please, Xzibit,
pimp my ride.
78
00:02:51,938 --> 00:02:54,040
For my grandfather.
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00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:55,341
For 9/11.
80
00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:57,644
[SOBS]
81
00:02:57,710 --> 00:02:59,812
For America.
82
00:02:59,879 --> 00:03:02,615
What's up, y'all?
This X-to-the-Z, Xzibit,
83
00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:04,784
and we here at the house
of Riley Freeman.
84
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:05,785
And we about to pimp
85
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,954
his grandfather's car,
Dorothy.
86
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:11,591
As you can see,
Dorothy is way past her prime.
87
00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:13,860
I mean, look at the paint job.
88
00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:16,429
This car look like
it need some lotion.
89
00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:18,598
[RINGS DOORBELL]
90
00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:22,068
Oh, snap.
It's Xzibit.
91
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:23,469
Yeah, nigga, yeah.
92
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:24,571
What up,
homey?
93
00:03:24,637 --> 00:03:26,239
I'm here to pimp
your ride.
94
00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:28,107
GRANDDAD:
Who the hell is that
at the door?
95
00:03:29,341 --> 00:03:30,510
Shh.
96
00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:32,478
Come here. Hurry up.
97
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:33,579
Stay down.
98
00:03:33,646 --> 00:03:36,149
Yo. Why are we hiding?
99
00:03:36,215 --> 00:03:37,250
Are you kidding?
100
00:03:37,317 --> 00:03:38,585
If he comes out here
and finds
101
00:03:38,651 --> 00:03:40,253
his favorite rapper,
Xzibit,
102
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:41,621
fixing to pimp his ride,
103
00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:42,922
he'll have a heart attack.
104
00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:43,957
For real?
105
00:03:44,023 --> 00:03:45,692
I'm his favorite
rapper?
106
00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:47,527
Man loves
your whole catalog.
107
00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:48,895
But now y'all gotta
get the hell
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00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,730
up out of here
before he finds you.
109
00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:53,399
And I want some,
uh, 23-inch rims,
110
00:03:53,466 --> 00:03:55,768
and, uh, uh--
And I want five televisions.
111
00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:57,337
And I want a toilet seat
in the trunk.
112
00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:58,404
Hey, man,
we just doing--
113
00:03:58,471 --> 00:03:59,505
Get the hell
out of here!
114
00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:00,640
You ain't stealing
my--!
115
00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:01,941
Hey, man!
Hey, hold on! Hey!
116
00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:03,810
Get out!
Stop, Granddad! Stop!
117
00:04:03,876 --> 00:04:04,811
[CAMERAMAN SCREAMING]
118
00:04:04,877 --> 00:04:05,845
Stop, Granddad!
119
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,347
XZIBIT: Yo, just--!
Come on, man!
120
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:09,315
[CAMERAMAN SCREAMING]
Goddamn.
121
00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:13,019
[XZIBIT CHUCKLING]
122
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:17,423
Dude, you got fucked up
by that old-ass man.
123
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:19,292
[♪♪♪]
124
00:04:19,358 --> 00:04:20,860
[SCREAMING]
125
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:23,329
Oh, look at the wheels.
Oh, my God!
126
00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:25,398
Oh, my goodness.
127
00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:28,968
See, you too could have
a TV in the steering wheel.
128
00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:31,304
Boy, Dorothy isn't just a car.
129
00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:34,207
I've loved and cared
for that vehicle for 30 years.
130
00:04:34,273 --> 00:04:35,675
You think I'm let
some damn rapper
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00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:37,744
put a goldfish
in the dashboard?
132
00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:40,446
Ho's love goldfish,
Granddad.
133
00:04:40,513 --> 00:04:42,448
You two need
your own sitcom.
134
00:04:42,515 --> 00:04:45,518
All you gotta do is get
on TV with a sob story,
135
00:04:45,585 --> 00:04:47,253
and people give you
free stuff.
136
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:48,855
I still ain't gonna lie
to nobody.
137
00:04:48,921 --> 00:04:50,923
If there's one thing
that I can't stand,
138
00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:52,058
it's lying.
139
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,558
I'm a Christian man.
140
00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:54,761
You ain't gots
to lie.
141
00:04:54,827 --> 00:04:56,963
I'll lie.
Just play along.
142
00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,465
They gonna fix my transmission?
143
00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:01,534
[♪♪♪]
144
00:05:04,837 --> 00:05:05,938
Gentlemen,
145
00:05:06,005 --> 00:05:07,874
I'm sorry
about the misunderstanding.
146
00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:12,011
And, now,
w-w-where's that boy?
147
00:05:12,078 --> 00:05:14,147
What's his name?
Inhibit?
148
00:05:14,213 --> 00:05:16,916
The whole catalog, huh?
149
00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:21,254
GRANDDAD:
Now, y'all gonna fix
my transmission, right?
150
00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:29,996
The tooth fairy
will be coming soon.
151
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,931
The tooth fairy?
Yep.
152
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,433
Every time
I lose a tooth,
153
00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:35,134
the tooth fairy
takes it away
154
00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:37,270
and leaves a dollar
under my pillow.
155
00:05:37,336 --> 00:05:40,006
There ain't no such thing
as the tooth fairy.
156
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:41,507
Then who's leaving the money?
157
00:05:41,574 --> 00:05:42,909
Probably your parents.
158
00:05:42,975 --> 00:05:45,878
They have both the cash
and the access to your room.
159
00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:47,480
Why would they lie to me?
160
00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:49,315
Because the truth hurts,
Jazmine.
161
00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:51,417
The world is a hard
and lonely place,
162
00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:54,020
and nobody gets anything
for free.
163
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,621
And you wanna know what else?
164
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:59,558
One day, you and everyone
you know is gonna die.
165
00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:01,661
[♪♪♪]
166
00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:02,762
[SOBBING]
167
00:06:09,068 --> 00:06:10,770
MAN:
You enjoy
168
00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:12,739
abusing
people's illusions.
169
00:06:12,805 --> 00:06:14,907
I respect that.
170
00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:17,410
It's thankless work.
171
00:06:18,611 --> 00:06:20,480
Do you like
my sunglasses?
172
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:23,249
I wear sunglasses
because my idol, Dr. Bill Cosby,
173
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:25,718
wears sunglasses all the time.
174
00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:26,953
And you know
what they say:
175
00:06:27,019 --> 00:06:29,055
"Cosbyness is
next to godliness."
176
00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:30,156
Who are you?
177
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,691
Nobody, really.
178
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:33,159
Just thought you might
wanna talk
179
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,094
to someone who understands.
180
00:06:36,262 --> 00:06:37,663
You don't know me.
181
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:40,867
I know you better
than you think, Huey Freeman.
182
00:06:40,933 --> 00:06:42,935
[♪♪♪]
183
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,476
GRANDDAD:
It's not that I don't
believe you, Huey.
184
00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:51,878
It's that I don't believe you,
185
00:06:51,944 --> 00:06:54,046
and I'm not interested.
186
00:06:54,113 --> 00:06:55,615
But, Granddad,
I am being followed
187
00:06:55,681 --> 00:06:57,183
by a secret
government agent.
188
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,252
Ain't nobody
following you.
189
00:06:59,318 --> 00:07:01,254
You just want
attention.
190
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:03,689
I bet Xzibit's
gonna put, like,
191
00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:06,192
30-inch rims
on the car.
192
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,060
Thirty inches?
193
00:07:08,127 --> 00:07:09,262
Is that big?
194
00:07:09,328 --> 00:07:11,597
He knew stuff about us,
like--
195
00:07:11,664 --> 00:07:14,433
Like-- Like the stupid
Bill Cosby sunglasses thing.
196
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:16,402
Well, these stupid
sunglasses
197
00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:18,171
got us a new car.
198
00:07:18,237 --> 00:07:21,641
So you say the car stops
and the wheels keep spinning?
199
00:07:21,707 --> 00:07:22,909
That's amazing.
200
00:07:22,975 --> 00:07:25,978
All I'm saying is, when Xzibit
brings that car back,
201
00:07:26,045 --> 00:07:27,580
you gonna be bitches.
202
00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:28,981
What did you call me?
203
00:07:29,048 --> 00:07:31,317
No, no. I mean,
bitches, like--
204
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:33,419
Like you gonna have
so many bitches,
205
00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:35,955
that's what niggas
is gonna call you.
206
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:37,490
No disrespect.
207
00:07:37,557 --> 00:07:38,925
No disrespect?
208
00:07:38,991 --> 00:07:40,927
You just called
your grandfather "bitches."
209
00:07:40,993 --> 00:07:44,330
Yeah, but I don't mean "bitches"
in a disrespectful way.
210
00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:46,899
I mean it as
a general word for women.
211
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:48,768
And you gonna let him
get away with that?
212
00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:50,203
It's okay...
just this once.
213
00:07:50,269 --> 00:07:51,771
Granddad,
I'm just saying...
214
00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:53,673
you might have to change
your middle name
215
00:07:53,739 --> 00:07:56,042
from Jebediah to Bitches.
216
00:07:56,108 --> 00:07:58,644
It's all I'm trying to say.
No disrespect.
217
00:07:58,711 --> 00:08:01,447
Hm. Granddad Bitches Freeman.
218
00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:02,748
Hoo.
219
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:03,850
Got a nice ring to it.
220
00:08:03,916 --> 00:08:04,917
Shh.
221
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,185
[WHISPERS]
Did you hear that?
222
00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:07,753
What? What is it?
223
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,121
I don't hear anything.
224
00:08:09,188 --> 00:08:10,790
Shh. It's Huey's
225
00:08:10,857 --> 00:08:12,892
make-believe
government agent.
226
00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:15,461
In our bathroom,
taking a dump.
227
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:17,430
[GRUNTS]
228
00:08:17,496 --> 00:08:19,866
This nigga
got imaginary friends.
229
00:08:19,932 --> 00:08:21,400
[DOORBELL RINGS]
230
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,337
Man.
231
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:31,277
Good morning,
Freeman family.
232
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,678
What in the hell?
233
00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:35,047
Mr. Freeman,
I know you can't see us
234
00:08:35,114 --> 00:08:36,381
because you're blind,
235
00:08:36,448 --> 00:08:38,717
but we're from
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.
236
00:08:38,784 --> 00:08:41,587
And we're gonna build
a new wing onto your house.
237
00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:42,655
Brought to you
by Sears.
238
00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:43,789
MAN:
Cut.
239
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:45,224
Okay, let's do it again,
people.
240
00:08:45,290 --> 00:08:47,293
And get a reverse angle
from inside the house.
241
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,961
[MURMURING]
242
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,763
WOMAN:
Come on.
The cameras are rolling,
243
00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:52,031
so everyone should smile.
244
00:08:58,271 --> 00:08:59,205
Let's go.
245
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,107
Granddad,
you do realize
246
00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:03,276
these people are gonna
destroy the house, right?
247
00:09:03,342 --> 00:09:06,512
They gonna make the house,
like, five times bigger.
248
00:09:06,579 --> 00:09:07,914
More room for bitches.
249
00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:08,948
What's the catch?
250
00:09:09,015 --> 00:09:10,516
Just keep pretending you blind.
251
00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:12,218
That's it?
That's it.
252
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:13,386
Oh, and, um--
253
00:09:13,452 --> 00:09:14,453
I, uh, might have--
254
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:15,922
I maybe, uh,
might have told 'em
255
00:09:15,988 --> 00:09:16,956
you was running
256
00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:18,658
a homeless shelter
out of here.
257
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:21,193
WOMAN:
We have to work together.
We're running out of time.
258
00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:22,561
I had to tell 'em somethin'.
259
00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:24,830
WOMAN:
Watch your b--
People, that's not...
260
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:27,967
It's not like we don't have
a big-ass house already.
261
00:09:28,034 --> 00:09:31,237
Don't trip. We'll just find
some people to act homeless.
262
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:33,839
By the way, I told 'em
to put in a grotto.
263
00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:34,840
A grotto?
264
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:36,876
Yeah. Like
Hugh Hefner got.
265
00:09:36,943 --> 00:09:39,245
Nobody got bitches
like Hugh Hefner, right?
266
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:40,313
[CHUCKLES]
267
00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:41,814
You ain't never lied
about that.
268
00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:43,415
[CHUCKLES]
269
00:09:43,482 --> 00:09:44,517
[♪♪♪]
270
00:09:44,583 --> 00:09:46,686
Whee! I'm pretty!
[ALL GIGGLING]
271
00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:51,023
GIRL: You are too much.
GIRL 2: Funny.
272
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,525
[GIRLS GIGGLE]
273
00:09:52,591 --> 00:09:53,926
Yeah, just call me
Big Daddy.
274
00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:56,128
You know, that's what the girls
call me, Big Daddy.
275
00:09:56,195 --> 00:09:57,296
Thank you.
That's great.
276
00:09:57,363 --> 00:09:58,297
Big Daddy.
277
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:01,033
GRANDDAD:
Yeah. Mm.
278
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,201
Bacon?
279
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,570
Don't mind if I do.
[GIGGLES]
280
00:10:04,637 --> 00:10:06,472
Naked cutie-pie.
281
00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:07,807
[GIRL GIGGLES]
282
00:10:07,873 --> 00:10:09,141
GRANDDAD:
And then I said:
283
00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:12,144
"Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang!
Thank you."
284
00:10:12,211 --> 00:10:15,381
Mr. Freeman, you have
an amazing grotto.
285
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,517
Please, Mr. Hefner,
call me Bitches.
286
00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:20,052
WOMAN:
Okay, Mr. Bitches...
287
00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:21,487
Uh...
288
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:23,689
The homeless people
are needed in Makeup.
289
00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:24,690
Huh?
290
00:10:24,757 --> 00:10:26,092
The homeless people.
291
00:10:26,158 --> 00:10:28,094
This is a homeless shelter,
right?
292
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:30,363
We assumed there'd be
homeless people.
293
00:10:30,429 --> 00:10:31,964
Uh...
If they was here
294
00:10:32,031 --> 00:10:32,965
all the time,
295
00:10:33,032 --> 00:10:34,133
they wouldn't be homeless,
296
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,167
would they?
297
00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:37,003
It's a shelter, not a prison.
[HUFFS]
298
00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:38,004
Beat it.
299
00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:39,672
Little bastard.
300
00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:42,540
Uh, excuse me...Bitches?
301
00:10:42,608 --> 00:10:44,577
Uh, I've actually seen
this show.
302
00:10:44,643 --> 00:10:46,379
They're gonna
demolish the house.
303
00:10:46,445 --> 00:10:48,547
Hello?
Do you hear me?
304
00:10:48,614 --> 00:10:50,149
Come on. Let's find
some homeless people.
305
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:51,617
WOMAN:
Don't worry about pillows.
306
00:10:51,684 --> 00:10:53,352
He's fucking blind, okay?
307
00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:55,354
[♪♪♪]
308
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:01,861
Go away. Beat it.
309
00:11:01,927 --> 00:11:03,496
Shoo.
310
00:11:03,562 --> 00:11:04,997
Hey, there,
Huey.
311
00:11:05,064 --> 00:11:08,367
I found this little
"homeless" girl.
312
00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:10,536
And I know how
your grandfather loves
313
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,505
to take care
of homeless people.
314
00:11:12,571 --> 00:11:14,340
What the hell
are you doing here?
315
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,908
Your brother
called.
316
00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:17,810
Said if I bring
Jazmine over,
317
00:11:17,877 --> 00:11:19,512
I could sing
on the show.
318
00:11:19,578 --> 00:11:21,447
Hi, I'm Tom.
319
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,782
I live
across the street.
320
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,850
I'm a lawyer by day, but--
321
00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:26,285
Whoa. Whoa,
up here.
322
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,787
Ha-ha,
there you go.
323
00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:29,755
So...like I was saying,
324
00:11:29,822 --> 00:11:31,457
my true passion
is singing.
325
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:35,795
♪ A heart is a house ♪
326
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,730
♪ Of love ♪
327
00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:39,365
WOMAN:
You know,
I've really had it
328
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:40,933
with this faggot designer
over here
329
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,201
who's trying to make pillows.
330
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:43,803
Okay, let's just leave
everything...
331
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:45,571
MAN:
I tell you what...
332
00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:47,206
If your granddad
has one weakness...
333
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:49,708
it's bitches.
334
00:11:49,775 --> 00:11:51,377
Of course,
they're my weakness too.
335
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,079
What do you want
with me?
336
00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:54,747
It's complicated, Huey.
337
00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:56,248
Uh...
338
00:11:56,315 --> 00:11:58,717
I'm a secret agent sent
to spy on you.
339
00:12:00,152 --> 00:12:02,755
Okay. Maybe it's not
that complicated.
340
00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:05,057
WOMAN:
If this house
is not done in...
341
00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:07,426
Do spies normally
introduce themselves
342
00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:09,061
to people
they spy on?
343
00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:11,030
What spy school
did you go to?
344
00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:14,533
Ah. I'm too old
to be sneaking around.
345
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,635
Excuse us.
Coming through.
346
00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:18,938
What if I tell someone
right now?
347
00:12:19,004 --> 00:12:21,440
You tried that earlier,
in the kitchen, remember?
348
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:22,842
By the way,
349
00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:24,977
I wasn't really
in the bathroom taking a dump,
350
00:12:25,044 --> 00:12:25,978
but, man...
351
00:12:26,045 --> 00:12:28,280
[CHUCKLES]
352
00:12:28,347 --> 00:12:30,749
Oh, that brother of yours
is a hoot.
353
00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:32,585
And your grandfather...
354
00:12:32,651 --> 00:12:34,520
Those two need
their own sitcom.
355
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:35,955
Leave me alone.
356
00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:37,289
Look...
357
00:12:37,356 --> 00:12:39,625
just because my job is
to watch your every move
358
00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:41,427
and eavesdrop
on every telephone call,
359
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:43,129
and monitor
your every e-mail,
360
00:12:43,195 --> 00:12:46,966
doesn't mean
we can't be friends.
361
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:52,538
Excuse me.
362
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,707
Did you notice me talking
to someone a second ago
363
00:12:54,773 --> 00:12:56,809
right here,
dressed like y'all?
364
00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:58,410
Wasn't really lookin'.
Sorry.
365
00:12:58,477 --> 00:13:01,714
MAN:
Where are we puttin'
the fried chicken dispenser?
366
00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:04,083
I mean, everything we see is
a false reality.
367
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:06,819
It's like Big Brother,
The Matrix,
368
00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:08,420
whatever you wanna call it.
369
00:13:08,487 --> 00:13:09,889
While we're watching each other,
370
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:11,257
they're watching us.
371
00:13:11,323 --> 00:13:12,791
All the time.
372
00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:13,993
Some of you may be wondering
373
00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:15,995
why we're renovating
the Freeman house
374
00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:17,696
when it's already so big.
375
00:13:17,763 --> 00:13:21,233
Well, it turns out that Robert
Freeman, who is blind,
376
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:22,735
has run a homeless shelter
377
00:13:22,801 --> 00:13:24,837
out of his house
for years.
378
00:13:24,904 --> 00:13:27,173
Yes, sir, I been living
with the Freemans
379
00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:28,707
for three months now.
380
00:13:28,774 --> 00:13:32,077
They the cleanest colored folks
you ever did see.
381
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:35,447
Mm, my mother, um...
382
00:13:35,514 --> 00:13:38,050
used crack?
383
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:42,054
She used crack,
she left me in a dumpster.
384
00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:44,056
And you should give Riley
a movie theater.
385
00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:45,290
[GIGGLES]
386
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,228
Excuse me,
Mr. Bitches.
387
00:13:49,295 --> 00:13:51,397
We have some release
paperwork for you to sign.
388
00:13:51,463 --> 00:13:53,832
Hold on.
Let me read it first.
389
00:13:53,899 --> 00:13:54,833
[GASPS]
390
00:13:55,467 --> 00:13:56,502
[LAUGHS]
391
00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:57,736
Yeah, good one.
Good one.
392
00:13:57,803 --> 00:13:58,737
Now,
393
00:13:58,804 --> 00:14:00,206
just sign here.
394
00:14:00,272 --> 00:14:02,174
And there.
395
00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:03,175
Great.
396
00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:05,010
Ha-ha-ha, excellent,
excellent.
397
00:14:05,077 --> 00:14:06,345
Thanks. Word.
398
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:07,580
Whoa.
Whoa.
399
00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:09,081
MAN:
Wow. Whoo.
400
00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:13,152
JAZMINE:
Hi, Huey.
401
00:14:14,553 --> 00:14:16,021
What's the matter?
402
00:14:16,088 --> 00:14:17,856
You wouldn't
understand.
403
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:19,792
I'm being shadowed
by a secret agent.
404
00:14:19,858 --> 00:14:22,061
Really? Who?
405
00:14:22,127 --> 00:14:23,229
Where is he?
406
00:14:23,295 --> 00:14:24,964
I don't know.
407
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,365
Kinda just pops up
out of nowhere
408
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:28,067
and then disappears.
409
00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:29,768
You mean,
like the tooth fairy?
410
00:14:29,835 --> 00:14:30,869
No, I don't mean
411
00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:32,371
like the tooth fairy.
412
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:34,473
Sounds like
the tooth fairy to me.
413
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,941
You can believe
in secret agents,
414
00:14:36,008 --> 00:14:37,910
and I can't believe
in the tooth fairy?
415
00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:39,411
That's messed up, Huey.
416
00:14:39,478 --> 00:14:41,680
Go eat something
out of a dumpster,
417
00:14:41,747 --> 00:14:42,948
you street urchin.
418
00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:44,149
[♪♪♪]
419
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:46,185
WOMAN:
It doesn't have to last!
420
00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:47,186
Don't use nails then!
421
00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:49,154
Use glue! I don't care!
422
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:50,689
[RAP MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKER]
423
00:14:50,756 --> 00:14:53,659
WOMAN:
Just get it done!
We are running out of time.
424
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,729
HUEY:
What the--?
This is some bullshit.
425
00:14:57,963 --> 00:14:59,131
Man.
426
00:14:59,198 --> 00:15:01,066
Oh!
What--?
427
00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:02,901
Man, what's--? Ugh.
428
00:15:02,968 --> 00:15:04,803
What--?
Ugh.
429
00:15:04,870 --> 00:15:06,905
I should never have let you
talk me into this.
430
00:15:06,972 --> 00:15:09,108
First, you let Noxema
take my car away.
431
00:15:09,174 --> 00:15:11,210
Now these white people
are destroying my house.
432
00:15:11,277 --> 00:15:13,112
[CRASH, MAN SCREAMS]
433
00:15:13,178 --> 00:15:15,681
Granddad, all we gotta do
is keep up the act.
434
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,850
We gonna have a new car
and a new...
435
00:15:17,916 --> 00:15:19,218
house.
436
00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:22,087
All because we didn't
listen to Huey.
437
00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:23,822
MAN:
Excuse me, uh,
Mr. Bitches.
438
00:15:23,889 --> 00:15:26,025
I think your car
just showed up.
439
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,493
[IN UNISON]
Dorothy.
440
00:15:27,559 --> 00:15:29,495
XZIBIT:
When we first saw Dorothy,
441
00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:31,730
the only thing that worked
was the off switch.
442
00:15:31,797 --> 00:15:34,633
That car was so old
it ran on unleaded coal.
443
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:36,535
But take a look
at the new Dorothy.
444
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,304
[♪♪♪]
445
00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:40,539
Yo, man!
Oh, my Lord, have mercy!
446
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:42,941
Check it out. Look at the rim.
I can't believe it.
447
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:45,311
Look at the paint job.
Oh, that's my color too.
448
00:15:45,377 --> 00:15:47,980
Oh, give me a hug.
Man, Grandpa bad too.
449
00:15:48,047 --> 00:15:50,816
Huey gotta ride in the back.
Look at that. No, no, no, no.
450
00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:53,452
GRANDDAD:
Look at the seats.
Pimping, pimping hot.
451
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:55,854
Oh, I'm gonna start pimping.
I'm gonna do something.
452
00:15:55,921 --> 00:15:57,790
I'm gonna do something.
Oh, look at them seats.
453
00:15:57,856 --> 00:16:00,025
Oh, I can't wait to get me
a little cutie-pie in here.
454
00:16:00,092 --> 00:16:01,994
Oh, my Lord, have mercy.
Oh, skanks!
455
00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:03,462
I can't believe it.
They're bad!
456
00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:04,630
Dorothy! Dorothy!
Whoa!
457
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,999
You're so beautiful.
All right, all right.
458
00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:10,469
Granddad, Granddad,
let's roll out right now.
459
00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:12,738
MAN:
Hey, I don't know
what the hell is going on?
460
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,374
GRANDDAD:
What's making the rims
keep spinning?
461
00:16:15,441 --> 00:16:18,477
[WHISPERS]
Granddad, you're supposed
to be blind.
462
00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:19,878
Oh, yeah.
MAN: Shit, man.
463
00:16:19,945 --> 00:16:20,879
MAN 2:
What the hell?
464
00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:22,981
He's not blind.
465
00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:24,249
[WORKERS CHATTERING]
466
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,451
I was like,
467
00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:28,454
"Man, Granddad done fucked it up
for everybody."
468
00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:31,090
Oh, shit. Is he gonna
hear me say fuck?
469
00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:33,025
Yeah, I messed it up.
470
00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:34,827
Teach that boy a lesson.
471
00:16:34,893 --> 00:16:37,963
Trying to rip off the TV show.
472
00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:39,765
What I know about acting blind?
473
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:41,533
Ah, man.
474
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,469
This is like
when Rerun got caught
475
00:16:43,535 --> 00:16:45,270
bootlegging
the Doobie Brothers concert
476
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:46,672
on What's Happening!!
477
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:48,674
Oh, yeah. Isn't that the one
where he's dancing
478
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:50,042
and that big-ass
tape recorder
479
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:52,311
falls out of his coat?
Yeah.
480
00:16:52,378 --> 00:16:53,979
♪ Bum-tum-bum
Bum-bum ♪
481
00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:58,083
♪ I can see clearly now
The rain has gone ♪
482
00:16:58,150 --> 00:16:59,952
♪ Bum-tum-bum
Bum-bum ♪
483
00:17:00,018 --> 00:17:01,286
♪ Bum-tum-bum
Bum-bum ♪
484
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:06,625
♪ I can see all obstacles
In my way-- ♪
485
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,794
[DOG BARKS]
486
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,896
MAN: I love that song.
MAN 2: Is he gay?
487
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:12,397
MAN 3:
I don't know what the hell...
488
00:17:12,464 --> 00:17:14,867
MAN 4:
What the hell's going on
with this guy?
489
00:17:14,933 --> 00:17:16,535
MAN 5:
This is getting way too weird.
490
00:17:16,602 --> 00:17:18,604
GRANDDAD:
Gentlemen, don't leave.
Gentlemen.
491
00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:19,872
Come on,
what about my house?
492
00:17:19,938 --> 00:17:21,073
It's not my fault.
The boy--
493
00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:22,775
I shouldn't have
listened to the boy...
494
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:26,111
I knew that nigga wasn't blind
the whole time.
495
00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:28,513
This soup tastes
like horse piss.
496
00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:30,048
GRANDDAD:
Hey, wait a minute.
497
00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:31,750
[♪♪♪]
498
00:17:31,817 --> 00:17:34,486
Pff! I can't believe
you're not blind, man.
499
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:36,188
Not Dorothy.
500
00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:37,189
Please!
501
00:17:37,256 --> 00:17:39,158
[RAP MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKER]
502
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,093
You did this to me.
Riley, this your fault.
503
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,796
Dorothy!
Don't go, Dorothy!
504
00:17:43,862 --> 00:17:45,564
MAN:
Don't forget to get
the watermelon patch.
505
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:47,065
GRANDDAD:
Please listen to me.
506
00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:49,234
Somebody listen to me
before I kick your ass...
507
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,040
[DOORBELL RINGS]
508
00:17:57,976 --> 00:17:59,845
Yo, anybody home?
509
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,480
You know
you can see us.
510
00:18:01,547 --> 00:18:04,316
Fellas, we thought
about it, and...
511
00:18:04,383 --> 00:18:05,918
Well, here's
your car back, man.
512
00:18:05,984 --> 00:18:07,119
Thank you.
513
00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:09,087
Thank you, Eczema.
Thank you.
514
00:18:09,154 --> 00:18:11,757
Yeah. We kinda felt bad
for you guys.
515
00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:14,927
Besides, our lawyers told us
we couldn't keep the car.
516
00:18:14,993 --> 00:18:17,362
Good-looking, my nigga.
My man, Ex-convict.
517
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:19,264
I always said you were
my favorite rapper.
518
00:18:19,331 --> 00:18:20,933
I messes with Xzibit.
519
00:18:20,999 --> 00:18:23,235
We'll just charge y'all
for all the work we did on it:
520
00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:27,139
$35,423.08.
521
00:18:27,206 --> 00:18:28,373
[♪♪♪]
522
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,576
You Indian-giving-ass nigga.
I hate you rappers,
523
00:18:30,642 --> 00:18:31,877
with your bebop, bebop.
524
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,846
Why don't you exit
out of my face, Exhibition.
525
00:18:33,912 --> 00:18:35,547
I do not mess
with Xzibit.
526
00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:36,715
Bastard.
527
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,717
All right, here's
the invoice.
528
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:41,053
And take your time
with that.
529
00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:42,287
Looks like
money gonna be
530
00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:43,789
tight around here
for a minute.
531
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,491
[LAUGHS]
532
00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:50,395
She does look nice.
533
00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:51,864
All things considered,
534
00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:53,599
I say we came out ahead.
535
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,101
[GROWLING]
536
00:18:57,202 --> 00:18:58,136
Uh-oh.
537
00:18:58,203 --> 00:18:59,538
Come here!
538
00:18:59,605 --> 00:19:01,473
[♪♪♪]
539
00:19:04,676 --> 00:19:06,545
I've come up
with a name for you:
540
00:19:06,612 --> 00:19:08,413
The White Shadow.
541
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:09,581
Hm.
542
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:12,718
I'm white,
I'm shadowing you.
543
00:19:12,784 --> 00:19:14,086
It's very clever.
544
00:19:14,152 --> 00:19:15,854
And I've decided
that you're a figment
545
00:19:15,921 --> 00:19:18,423
of my overactive imagination.
546
00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:20,425
Now who's hiding
from reality?
547
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:22,494
Just because
you're paranoid, Huey,
548
00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:24,530
doesn't mean
we're not out to get you.
549
00:19:24,596 --> 00:19:26,331
If you are real,
550
00:19:26,398 --> 00:19:27,699
why me?
551
00:19:27,766 --> 00:19:30,669
Oh, come on.
552
00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:33,105
You underestimate yourself.
553
00:19:33,171 --> 00:19:36,241
It's a shame what happened
to the house.
554
00:19:36,308 --> 00:19:37,342
You warned them.
555
00:19:37,409 --> 00:19:38,844
They wouldn't listen
to me.
556
00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,579
They never listen to me.
557
00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:42,915
I know you wanna save
the world, Huey,
558
00:19:42,981 --> 00:19:44,650
but sometimes
people have
559
00:19:44,716 --> 00:19:46,184
to learn lessons
on their own.
560
00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:48,186
The hard way.
561
00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:51,290
Well, can't miss the Idol.
562
00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:53,992
If you ever wanna talk,
remember...
563
00:19:54,059 --> 00:19:56,061
I'm always listening.
564
00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:58,030
♪ Da-da
Da-da-da-da... ♪
565
00:20:03,502 --> 00:20:05,537
HUEY [NARRATING]:
Obi-Wan Kenobi said:
566
00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:08,440
"Your eyes can deceive you.
Don't trust them."
567
00:20:08,507 --> 00:20:12,010
It seems to be getting harder
distinguishing reality
568
00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:14,413
from the illusions
people make for us.
569
00:20:14,479 --> 00:20:17,149
Or from the ones
we make for ourselves.
570
00:20:17,215 --> 00:20:19,651
I don't know.
Maybe that's part of the plan:
571
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:22,588
to make me think I'm crazy.
572
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:27,526
It's working.
573
00:20:29,461 --> 00:20:31,630
Anybody wanna drink
out the fridge?
574
00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:33,298
Or an espresso?
575
00:20:36,468 --> 00:20:38,136
RILEY:
Good night,
Granddad.
576
00:20:38,203 --> 00:20:39,805
I'll good your night.
577
00:20:39,871 --> 00:20:41,306
Good night, Huey.
578
00:20:41,373 --> 00:20:43,008
Good night, Riley.
579
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:46,311
RILEY:
Good night, Huey's imaginary
secret-agent friend.
580
00:20:46,378 --> 00:20:48,580
[SNICKERS]
581
00:20:48,647 --> 00:20:51,350
Granddad,
Huey's imaginary friend
582
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:53,452
tried to touch me
in a private place.
583
00:20:53,518 --> 00:20:54,653
[LAUGHS]
584
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:55,954
[HUEY SIGHS]
585
00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:01,226
[♪♪♪]
40095
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