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♪ I am the visual
The inspiration ♪
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00:00:04,537 --> 00:00:05,972
♪ That made lady
Sing the blues ♪
3
00:00:06,039 --> 00:00:07,741
♪ I'm the spark
That makes your idea bright ♪
4
00:00:07,807 --> 00:00:09,275
♪ The same spark
That lights the dark ♪
5
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:10,844
♪ So that you can know
Your left from your right ♪
6
00:00:10,910 --> 00:00:13,680
♪ I am the ballot in your box
The bullet in the gun ♪
7
00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:15,181
♪ The inner glow
That lets you know ♪
8
00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:16,282
♪ To call your brother sun ♪
9
00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:17,584
♪ The story that just begun ♪
10
00:00:17,650 --> 00:00:18,952
♪ The promise
Of what's to come ♪
11
00:00:19,018 --> 00:00:20,153
♪ And I'm a remain a soldier ♪
12
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:22,088
♪ Till the war is won ♪
13
00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:24,724
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪
14
00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:27,394
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪
15
00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:29,996
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪
16
00:00:30,063 --> 00:00:31,197
♪ Chop, chop, chop ♪
17
00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:33,833
HUEY [NARRATING]:
My grandfather,
18
00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:35,502
Robert Jebediah Freeman,
19
00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:39,172
after a lifetime of odd
adventures and strange mishaps,
20
00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:41,107
decided to spend his last days
21
00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:43,209
in the warm embrace
of suburbia.
22
00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:45,412
So he moved
to his perfect house
23
00:00:45,478 --> 00:00:47,113
in his perfect neighborhood.
24
00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:50,150
But he was still searching
for his perfect woman.
25
00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:53,753
For what reason,
I have no idea.
26
00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:59,125
BOY:
I want candy!
27
00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:00,860
Damn it, I hate you!
28
00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:03,229
You're ruining my life, bitch!
WOMAN: Please, Herbert,
29
00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:05,598
remember our agreement.
Candy! I want candy!
30
00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:07,033
Give me candy!
31
00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:11,271
Give me candy!
I want candy!
32
00:01:11,337 --> 00:01:14,107
I want candy and marshmallows!
33
00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:15,675
Give it to me!
[GASPS]
34
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,210
Give it to me!
Herbert-- Oh!
35
00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:18,244
And I want pasta!
36
00:01:18,311 --> 00:01:21,381
Hm, he sure looks
like a handful.
37
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:22,515
When he gets like this,
38
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:23,983
I just don't know how
to make him stop.
39
00:01:24,050 --> 00:01:26,419
I want candy
and marshmallows!
40
00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:28,087
Have you ever tried
beatin' his ass?
41
00:01:28,154 --> 00:01:29,322
[♪♪♪]
42
00:01:29,389 --> 00:01:31,491
[WHIMPERS]
43
00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:33,660
HERBERT:
What's with the belt?
44
00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:36,396
[BOTH GRUNT]
45
00:01:38,698 --> 00:01:39,866
[SCREAMS]
46
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,868
MOTHER [OVER BELT WHIPS]:
The nerve of you...
47
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,369
In front of these people...
48
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,405
You must have lost
your goddamn mind!
49
00:01:45,472 --> 00:01:47,807
HERBERT:
Mom, stop!
50
00:01:47,874 --> 00:01:50,777
Not many men would stop
to help a woman in need.
51
00:01:55,381 --> 00:01:57,317
Well, uh--
[CHUCKLES]
52
00:01:57,383 --> 00:02:00,320
I guess I just hate to see
a child go unbeaten.
53
00:02:00,386 --> 00:02:01,788
[GIGGLES]
54
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,990
I'm Cristal,
like the champagne.
55
00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:05,291
I'm Granddad.
56
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:07,393
[GASPS]
57
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:09,395
Hello, cutie.
58
00:02:09,461 --> 00:02:11,998
Yeah...
59
00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,433
I'd rather not.
60
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:16,636
My name's Cristal,
like the champagne.
61
00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:19,204
Well, that sounds
like a stripper name.
62
00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:22,041
Cristal, like the champagne,
might you be a stripper?
63
00:02:22,108 --> 00:02:23,643
[GIGGLES]
64
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:26,045
And just what do you know
about strippers, little man?
65
00:02:26,112 --> 00:02:29,482
Not much, but I do know they're
usually named after liquor.
66
00:02:29,549 --> 00:02:31,184
[SNICKERS]
67
00:02:32,218 --> 00:02:33,620
[CHUCKLES]
68
00:02:33,686 --> 00:02:36,456
I just love grocery stores
in rich neighborhoods.
69
00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:38,258
Much better stuff.
70
00:02:40,126 --> 00:02:41,327
[GIGGLES]
71
00:02:41,394 --> 00:02:44,364
Check out this special
French whipped cream.
72
00:02:45,531 --> 00:02:47,100
Mm.
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00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:48,434
Mm.
CRISTAL: Mm.
74
00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:51,571
GRANDDAD: Mm-hm.
Mm.
75
00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:52,872
It's edible.
76
00:02:52,939 --> 00:02:54,774
GRANDDAD:
Whipped cream, teddy bear...
77
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,175
[SCANNER BEEPING]
78
00:02:56,242 --> 00:02:57,277
[GIGGLES]
79
00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:59,379
GRANDDAD:
Mm, mm, mm.
80
00:02:59,445 --> 00:03:01,147
[BEEPING CONTINUES]
81
00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:02,849
GRANDDAD:
Somebody's busy.
82
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:05,618
One hundred fifty-three dollars
and 12 cents is your total.
83
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:07,020
Will this be cash or charge?
84
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,624
[♪♪♪]
85
00:03:12,825 --> 00:03:13,826
You're such a gentleman.
86
00:03:13,893 --> 00:03:15,962
You didn't have to carry
all my bags.
87
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:20,400
It's my pleasure, Cristal,
like the champagne.
88
00:03:20,466 --> 00:03:22,936
Well, see you around.
89
00:03:28,741 --> 00:03:30,076
[CLEARS THROAT]
90
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:31,277
I don't--
91
00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:32,812
[CHUCKLES]
92
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,414
I mean,
I don't know if--
93
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:36,916
Would you like a date?
94
00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:40,153
It just so happen I have coupons
for the Red Lobster, cutie pie.
95
00:03:41,254 --> 00:03:44,591
Um...okay.
96
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:49,429
[R & B MUSIC PLAYING
ON CAR RADIO]
97
00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:53,700
You do realize that
light-skinned ho was a ho,
98
00:03:53,766 --> 00:03:55,134
right, Granddad?
99
00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:56,836
Don't cuss, boy.
Now, watch your mouth.
100
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,471
I didn't cuss.
I said ho.
101
00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:00,673
Don't think because I'm driving,
I can't come back there.
102
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,709
I don't see
what the big deal is,
103
00:04:02,775 --> 00:04:04,611
just sayin' "ho."
104
00:04:04,677 --> 00:04:06,346
Ow! You smackin' me!
Granddad, stop.
105
00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:08,781
GRANDDAD:
Didn't I tell you
to watch your mouth?
106
00:04:08,848 --> 00:04:10,016
Granddad!
107
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:13,720
Riley, stop,
or we are going to die!
108
00:04:13,786 --> 00:04:15,188
[HORN HONKING]
109
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,123
[TIRES SCREECHING]
110
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:20,726
Now, I bet you won't
say it again.
111
00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:23,329
Ho.
112
00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:25,198
Oh, I got your ho!
HUEY: Watch the road.
113
00:04:25,264 --> 00:04:26,566
Watch the road, Granddad!
114
00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:30,203
HUEY:
Granddad, have you
asked yourself
115
00:04:30,269 --> 00:04:32,105
why a 20-year-old girl
would want to go out
116
00:04:32,171 --> 00:04:33,206
with a man your age?
117
00:04:33,272 --> 00:04:36,476
Because I laid my game
down quite flat.
118
00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:37,844
Game?
119
00:04:37,909 --> 00:04:39,712
What you know
about the game, Granddad?
120
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:40,980
I know the game.
121
00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:42,248
Takin' women
out to eat?
122
00:04:42,315 --> 00:04:44,717
Givin' 'em free meals?
What part of the game is that?
123
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:48,321
You takin' her to Red Lobster
with the cheddar biscuits.
124
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:50,089
The fam ain't eatin'
cheddar biscuits,
125
00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:52,892
but this random broad
is eatin' cheddar biscuits.
126
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,728
I know the game.
Your granddaddy knows the game.
127
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,164
Game recognize game,
Granddad.
128
00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:02,168
I recognize game.
Your granddaddy recognize game.
129
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:03,836
Game recognize game,
130
00:05:03,903 --> 00:05:07,106
and you lookin'
kinda unfamiliar right now.
131
00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:11,477
I-- I can't-- Where's Granddad?
Can I help you, sir?
132
00:05:13,212 --> 00:05:15,581
I ain't got time to mess
around with y'all.
133
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,216
I got a date.
Get out the way.
134
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:20,953
RILEY:
Don't do it, Granddad!
135
00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:22,388
Don't feed her!
136
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:23,690
GRANDDAD:
Come on, now, stop.
137
00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:25,692
Get off my leg.
RILEY [CRYING]: Don't feed her
138
00:05:25,758 --> 00:05:28,528
Don't try to pull me back.
the cheddar biscuits!
139
00:05:28,594 --> 00:05:30,863
What the hell? Get off me,
boy. What's wrong with you?
140
00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:33,933
Mm.
141
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,601
Oh, God.
142
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:38,337
Mm, mm.
143
00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:41,874
These cheddar biscuits
are so good,
144
00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:43,576
they just melt in your mouth.
145
00:05:43,643 --> 00:05:45,311
Thank you for the meal.
146
00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:47,013
It was very romantic,
147
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,449
like Sex and the City
or somethin'.
148
00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:52,852
Wow. I have never seen
a woman eat like that.
149
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:53,920
Or a man, actually.
150
00:05:53,986 --> 00:05:55,188
[GIGGLES]
151
00:05:55,254 --> 00:05:57,056
You should bring some home
for the boys.
152
00:05:57,123 --> 00:05:59,358
I don't know. If you feed 'em,
they'll never leave.
153
00:05:59,425 --> 00:06:02,428
Oh, stop.
They're so cute.
154
00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:04,363
You must love
having them around.
155
00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:06,799
Well, not really, but--
156
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,034
[GIGGLES]
157
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:10,136
You should let me
baby-sit sometimes.
158
00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:13,005
Doggy bag?
159
00:06:13,072 --> 00:06:15,641
A doggy bag is 90 bucks,
a tea bag is 50,
160
00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:17,510
but I'll have to ask you
to excuse me right now.
161
00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:20,747
See, I'm kind of,
you know, on a real date.
162
00:06:23,816 --> 00:06:25,752
HUEY:
You know, now that I think
about it,
163
00:06:25,818 --> 00:06:28,554
I don't ever remember
seein' Granddad with a woman.
164
00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:29,889
There was a time,
when I was three,
165
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:31,090
when I thought he was gay,
166
00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:33,359
but now, I think it's
just bad luck.
167
00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:36,929
Well, I don't see what the big
deal is with ho's, anyway.
168
00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:39,732
Riley, all women
are not ho's.
169
00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:43,069
We're talkin' 20,
25 percent, tops.
170
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,404
Okay, but if they not
all ho's,
171
00:06:45,471 --> 00:06:48,674
then why I got to pay
to take 'em out to eat, then?
172
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:51,344
I mean, I'm payin'.
That's payment.
173
00:06:51,409 --> 00:06:54,347
Uh, I don't know.
'Cause that's just what you do.
174
00:06:54,413 --> 00:06:56,449
You meet a girl,
you take her out to dinner,
175
00:06:56,516 --> 00:06:58,751
but you're not payin' the girl.
176
00:06:58,818 --> 00:07:01,087
You're payin' the restaurant.
177
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:04,290
But I'm payin',
which makes her a ho.
178
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:05,992
Why don't I just give her
the money
179
00:07:06,058 --> 00:07:07,493
I was gonna spend on dinner
180
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,862
and that ho can go
grocery shoppin'.
181
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:14,867
And what do you do again?
182
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:17,503
I'm in, uh-- Sales.
183
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:18,604
[GIGGLES]
184
00:07:18,671 --> 00:07:20,006
You could call it sales.
185
00:07:20,072 --> 00:07:22,074
I don't really like
to talk about work.
186
00:07:22,141 --> 00:07:24,343
I'm not really fulfilled
at my job.
187
00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:25,444
Why not?
188
00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:27,180
Well, the hours
are pretty long,
189
00:07:27,246 --> 00:07:29,549
the boss is a real jerk,
and the clients--
190
00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,317
Ugh, don't get me
started on the clients.
191
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:34,020
Oh, damn.
So why do you do it?
192
00:07:34,086 --> 00:07:36,222
Mm, basically I'm in
a transitional period.
193
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,090
[MEN MURMURING]
Like last year,
194
00:07:38,157 --> 00:07:39,558
people said
I should be a model,
195
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:41,527
but you gotta
go get the pictures taken
196
00:07:41,594 --> 00:07:42,762
and do that whole thing.
197
00:07:42,829 --> 00:07:44,263
Seemed like a lot of work.
198
00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:46,165
Yeah, taking pictures
can be tough.
199
00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:47,700
And then I wanted
to be a chef,
200
00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:50,703
but can you believe they want
you to go to school for that?
201
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:51,871
[SIGHS]
202
00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:53,039
I wish I could find a man,
203
00:07:53,105 --> 00:07:55,975
who could swoop in
like a superhero,
204
00:07:56,042 --> 00:08:00,213
and save me from,
you know, work.
205
00:08:00,279 --> 00:08:03,182
Kind of like
a Captain Save-A-Me.
206
00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:05,918
Do you know
where I can buy a cape?
207
00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:07,019
Ooh.
Damn.
208
00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:08,788
Whoa.
Wow.
209
00:08:10,723 --> 00:08:12,625
That's how it starts,
you know.
210
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:14,660
Takin' bitches out to eat,
211
00:08:14,727 --> 00:08:15,661
meals and whatnot.
212
00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:17,163
Next thing you know,
213
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:19,332
you wake up
in a rest haven for ho's.
214
00:08:19,398 --> 00:08:22,768
A sanctuary for scandalous
skeezers and stunts.
215
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:25,104
You're jumpin' to conclusions.
It's just a date.
216
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,739
What if he marries her?
217
00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:29,508
What if we end up
with a ho for a grandma?
218
00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:31,244
Riley,
shut your dumb ass up.
219
00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:33,044
What if we have a ho
for a grandma,
220
00:08:33,111 --> 00:08:35,047
and she comes to school
on career day?
221
00:08:35,114 --> 00:08:37,515
Ooh, what if
they have kids?
222
00:08:37,582 --> 00:08:39,952
We'd have a brother
or sister that's half ho.
223
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:41,453
Riley!
224
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,655
[DOOR OPENS & CLOSES]
225
00:08:43,722 --> 00:08:46,759
CRISTAL:
This is your home?
It's beautiful.
226
00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:48,561
Hey, boys.
227
00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:52,832
I love this place.
I never want to leave.
228
00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:54,567
Is there anything to eat?
229
00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,372
HUEY:
I didn't want
to believe Riley.
230
00:08:59,438 --> 00:09:02,775
I wanted Granddad to have
finally found love in his life.
231
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:05,478
But I've never been one
to ignore the obvious.
232
00:09:05,544 --> 00:09:08,381
Granddad was tryin' to turn
a ho into a housewife.
233
00:09:08,447 --> 00:09:09,515
CRISTAL:
Come on, Granddad.
234
00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:10,883
GRANDDAD:
What you talkin' about?
235
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:12,218
Hey, you just wait a minute.
Uh-huh.
236
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:16,822
♪ Now, I ain't sayin'
She a gold digger ♪
237
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,224
♪ When I'm in need ♪
238
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:19,892
♪ But she ain't messin'
With no broke niggaz ♪
239
00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:21,294
♪ She takes my money ♪
240
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,496
♪ Now, I ain't sayin'
She a gold digger ♪
241
00:09:23,562 --> 00:09:25,698
♪ But she ain't messin'
With no broke niggaz ♪
242
00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:27,333
♪ When I'm in need ♪
243
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,901
♪ Get down, girl
Go ahead, get down ♪
244
00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:31,871
♪ Get down, girl
Go ahead, get down ♪
245
00:09:31,938 --> 00:09:34,740
♪ Get down, girl
Go ahead, get down ♪
246
00:09:34,807 --> 00:09:36,742
♪ Get down, girl
Go ahead ♪
247
00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:39,378
♪ Cutie the bomb
Met her at a beauty salon ♪
248
00:09:39,445 --> 00:09:41,881
♪ With a baby Louis Vuitton
Under her underarm ♪
249
00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:43,549
♪ She said
I can tell you rock ♪
250
00:09:43,616 --> 00:09:46,352
♪ I can tell by your charm
Far as girls you got a flock ♪
251
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,321
♪ I can tell by your charm
And your arm ♪
252
00:09:48,387 --> 00:09:50,389
♪ But I'm looking for the one
Have you seen her? ♪
253
00:09:50,456 --> 00:09:53,492
♪ My psychic told me
She have a ass like Serena ♪
254
00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:55,795
♪ Trina, Jennifer Lopez
Four kids ♪
255
00:09:55,861 --> 00:09:58,798
♪ And I gotta take all
They badass to Showbiz ♪
256
00:09:58,864 --> 00:10:01,534
♪ Okay, get your kids but
Then they got they friends ♪
257
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,836
♪ I pulled up in the Benz
They all got up in ♪
258
00:10:03,903 --> 00:10:06,839
♪ We all went to din
And then I had to pay ♪
259
00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:09,508
♪ If you f@#$% with this girl
Then you better be paid ♪
260
00:10:09,575 --> 00:10:12,678
[♪♪♪]
261
00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:13,746
CRISTAL:
What's up now?
262
00:10:13,813 --> 00:10:15,348
Why you keep doin'
the same move?
263
00:10:15,414 --> 00:10:17,683
Where your game at?
Where your game at?
264
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:20,152
My X button ain't working.
265
00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:21,187
Whatever, nigga.
266
00:10:21,253 --> 00:10:23,723
Hey, look,
I'm pressin' it.
267
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:26,826
You see me pressin' it.
You cheatin'.
268
00:10:26,892 --> 00:10:28,694
Bitch,
your game is garbage.
269
00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:31,197
I'm Cristal, bitch.
Who's next?
270
00:10:31,263 --> 00:10:34,333
Fake-ass Mariah Carey!
271
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:35,601
[SOBS]
272
00:10:36,635 --> 00:10:38,904
That's how nasty
my game is, son.
273
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:40,306
I send niggas runnin' away.
274
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:42,308
What?
275
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,577
[♪♪♪]
276
00:10:44,643 --> 00:10:46,112
Ah.
277
00:10:46,178 --> 00:10:48,647
A full day's supply
of vitamin C.
278
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:04,997
Granddad, that woman
has got to go.
279
00:11:05,064 --> 00:11:09,502
Miss Cristal
is my beautiful baby-boo,
280
00:11:09,568 --> 00:11:12,038
and you will
show her some respect.
281
00:11:12,104 --> 00:11:15,341
Granddad, we don't know anything
about Miss Cristal.
282
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,643
I mean, we know she spends
all your money.
283
00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:19,412
We know she eats more
than a black hole.
284
00:11:19,478 --> 00:11:22,648
We know she cheat
at PlayStation!
285
00:11:22,715 --> 00:11:25,718
But where does she live?
What does she do for a living?
286
00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:27,219
She's in sales.
287
00:11:27,286 --> 00:11:28,320
Pfft. Ho sales.
288
00:11:28,387 --> 00:11:29,388
What?
289
00:11:29,455 --> 00:11:31,323
Granddad, does she duck
under the table
290
00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:33,259
every time a dude
in a purple suit walks in?
291
00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:35,628
[♪♪♪]
292
00:11:43,135 --> 00:11:44,904
Uh, a lot of people
do that.
293
00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:49,175
Can she run really, really,
really fast in high heels?
294
00:11:49,241 --> 00:11:52,678
I don't know.
Average speed, I guess.
295
00:11:52,745 --> 00:11:54,647
Race you to the car.
296
00:11:54,713 --> 00:11:56,582
[CHUCKLES]
Okay.
297
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,651
[GASPS]
[RAPID FOOTSTEPS]
298
00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:02,121
Hm.
299
00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:05,524
Maybe, uh...
Little...above average.
300
00:12:05,591 --> 00:12:07,293
Does she keep askin'
if you're a cop?
301
00:12:07,359 --> 00:12:08,461
No.
302
00:12:08,527 --> 00:12:10,096
You know, you have
to tell me if you're a cop,
303
00:12:10,162 --> 00:12:11,464
or it's entrapment.
304
00:12:11,530 --> 00:12:12,631
Mm.
305
00:12:12,698 --> 00:12:14,700
CRISTAL:
My cute boys.
306
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:20,406
You boys don't know Cristal
like I do.
307
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:22,007
She's a wonderful woman.
308
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:24,577
She's in my heart.
She's in my soul.
309
00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:26,745
I just want to be
her everything.
310
00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:29,315
And for your information,
children,
311
00:12:29,381 --> 00:12:31,851
I had relations
with Cristal last night.
312
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:34,653
Ew, come on, Granddad!
Oh, God, please!
313
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,422
Why would you share that?
That's nasty.
314
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:38,457
How am I supposed to have
nice dreams tonight, man?
315
00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:40,392
And she didn't charge me
a dime.
316
00:12:40,459 --> 00:12:41,560
Mm.
317
00:12:41,627 --> 00:12:42,795
You ready to go
shoppin' again?
318
00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:43,863
You betcha.
319
00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:47,700
[♪♪♪]
320
00:13:02,014 --> 00:13:03,782
Hey, Huey.
321
00:13:03,849 --> 00:13:06,719
Okay, Cristal,
I think we need to talk.
322
00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:10,256
Before you start,
323
00:13:10,322 --> 00:13:12,324
I just want to tell you
how much fun it's been
324
00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:13,759
hangin' out with you guys.
325
00:13:13,826 --> 00:13:16,695
Think of me as the big sister
you always wanted.
326
00:13:16,762 --> 00:13:19,965
Don't take this
the wrong way, but...
327
00:13:20,032 --> 00:13:21,667
I need you to get
the hell up outta here.
328
00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:23,602
Any particular reason?
329
00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:25,471
You're kind of a lazy ho?
330
00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:27,540
Yeah, I can see that.
331
00:13:27,606 --> 00:13:30,142
I don't know why
my granddad can't see it.
332
00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:33,846
To be honest, me either.
It's so obvious.
333
00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:34,980
But it's okay because, see,
334
00:13:35,047 --> 00:13:36,482
I'm in this transitional
period--
335
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:39,051
Ah, ah, ah, I don't care.
You gotta go.
336
00:13:42,521 --> 00:13:43,556
[CLICKS]
337
00:13:46,058 --> 00:13:47,326
I can't do that.
338
00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:48,427
I'm sorry?
339
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,162
You guys have the life.
340
00:13:50,229 --> 00:13:51,931
And I want the life too.
341
00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:55,100
Yeah, but it's our life.
We're his family.
342
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:58,871
Oh, so now, we get
to what this is really about.
343
00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:02,141
I'm not one of y'all.
I'm not in the family.
344
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:04,543
I don't carry his genes,
so I have to go?
345
00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:07,980
Uh, yeah.
Plus, you're a lazy ho.
346
00:14:08,047 --> 00:14:11,050
Ugh,
ho is a strong term.
347
00:14:11,116 --> 00:14:15,321
Right now, I'm somewhere between
anatomical sales associate
348
00:14:15,387 --> 00:14:16,889
and high-maintenance girlfriend.
349
00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:18,824
Can't you be positive
about my growth?
350
00:14:18,891 --> 00:14:22,561
Cristal, every part of you
bein' here is unacceptable.
351
00:14:22,628 --> 00:14:25,197
Do you realize
I'm doin' prostitute laundry?
352
00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:28,367
Do you have any idea
how disgusting that is?
353
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:33,272
Look, this is an adjustment
for everyone,
354
00:14:33,339 --> 00:14:35,074
but it's what
your grandfather wants.
355
00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:36,542
You can't get rid of me.
356
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:39,912
I can do things to persuade
your granddad that you can't do.
357
00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:41,547
Like what?
358
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:43,449
Never mind,
I don't really wanna know.
359
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:48,821
[GIGGLING]
360
00:14:48,887 --> 00:14:50,489
Bye, Granddaddy.
361
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:51,724
I'll be back in a few.
362
00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:53,359
HUEY:
Cristal was right.
363
00:14:53,425 --> 00:14:55,594
I was going about this
the wrong way.
364
00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:58,163
Granddad needed to see
the truth for himself.
365
00:14:58,230 --> 00:14:59,898
[RAP MUSIC PLAYING]
366
00:14:59,965 --> 00:15:01,900
♪ I know she no good
But she good to me ♪
367
00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:04,336
♪ All right, we on a mission
With SpyCam vision ♪
368
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:06,005
♪ Yeah, it's wrong
But I'd rather ♪
369
00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:07,573
♪ Beg forgiveness
Than permission ♪
370
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,009
♪ Something is off
Who's this mystery lady? ♪
371
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:11,777
♪ She's crazy
And something in her eyes ♪
372
00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:15,080
♪ Looks shady
But maybe after this exposé ♪
373
00:15:15,147 --> 00:15:17,216
♪ A blind man could see her
Comin' from a mile away ♪
374
00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:20,319
♪ Let me catch her in the act
See where her head is at ♪
375
00:15:20,386 --> 00:15:22,488
♪ Before the next sucker
For love falls in her trap ♪
376
00:15:22,554 --> 00:15:25,024
♪ So I'm wearin' my Nike's
With a Nikon ♪
377
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:28,227
♪ Doin' some twilight
Recon and econ ♪
378
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:31,997
♪ Can't stop the paparazzi
Oh, my God, with these Kodaks ♪
379
00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:34,333
♪ Tryin' to stop her
From gettin' the bozak ♪
380
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,402
♪ From gettin' the bozak
From gettin' the bozak ♪
381
00:15:36,468 --> 00:15:38,871
♪ I know she no good
But she good to me ♪
382
00:15:38,937 --> 00:15:41,206
♪ I know she no good
But she good to me ♪
383
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:43,809
♪ I know she no good
But she good to me ♪
384
00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:46,011
♪ I know she no good
But she good to me ♪
385
00:15:46,078 --> 00:15:47,379
♪ Click ♪
386
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,381
[CAMERA CLICKS]
387
00:15:51,216 --> 00:15:52,618
[CAMERA CLICKS]
388
00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:04,963
[CAMERA CLICKS]
389
00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:06,965
[♪♪♪]
390
00:16:10,436 --> 00:16:13,539
Cutie pie,
what is this?
391
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:16,742
That's not me.
392
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:20,646
I can't believe you would
digitally alter pictures of me.
393
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,649
Boy, that ain't nothin'
but Photoshop.
394
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:25,584
Get that outta here.
395
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:27,252
[WHIMPERING]
396
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:30,322
[GASPING]
Why don't they like me?
397
00:16:30,389 --> 00:16:32,057
[CRYING]
I try...
398
00:16:32,124 --> 00:16:35,427
so hard with them.
399
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:38,597
Aw, there, there.
400
00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:40,833
Haven't I done enough
for you two?
401
00:16:40,899 --> 00:16:43,202
Y'all don't know
what it's like to be old.
402
00:16:43,268 --> 00:16:45,537
To know you don't have
many days left.
403
00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:48,040
Cristal makes me happy.
404
00:16:48,107 --> 00:16:49,808
Why would you want
to take that away from me?
405
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:51,777
[DOORBELL RINGS]
406
00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:55,681
[DOOR OPENS]
407
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,015
RILEY:
It's a nigga
in a purple suit.
408
00:16:57,082 --> 00:16:58,350
[GASPS]
409
00:17:02,621 --> 00:17:03,555
Who are you?
410
00:17:03,622 --> 00:17:06,125
[♪♪♪]
411
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:09,060
My name is
A Pimp Named Slickback,
412
00:17:09,127 --> 00:17:11,896
and I believe I may have
misplaced some merchandise
413
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,565
at this residence.
414
00:17:13,632 --> 00:17:15,733
There she is.
415
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,536
Bitch,
I hope you got the monies
416
00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:20,204
to cover this little vacation
you been takin'.
417
00:17:20,271 --> 00:17:21,874
Now, hold up, Slickback.
418
00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:24,576
No, that's
A Pimp Named Slickback.
419
00:17:24,643 --> 00:17:26,345
That's what I said:
Slickback.
420
00:17:26,412 --> 00:17:29,648
No, no, it's
A Pimp Named Slickback.
421
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,049
Like
A Tribe Called Quest.
422
00:17:31,116 --> 00:17:33,786
You say the whole thing.
A Pimp Named Slickback.
423
00:17:33,852 --> 00:17:36,221
Uh, can we call you
"Slickback" for short?
424
00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:39,458
No, nigga.
I'm A Pimp Named Slickback!
425
00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:41,126
Cristal,
who is this person?
426
00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:43,128
Nigga, are you deaf?
427
00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:47,399
I'm A Pimp Named Slickback.
Say it with me, now.
428
00:17:47,466 --> 00:17:49,234
He's my pimp.
429
00:17:49,301 --> 00:17:51,403
Y-y-y-your pimp?
430
00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:52,938
So you really are a-- A--
431
00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:54,840
Yes, I'm a ho.
RILEY & HUEY: Yes, she's a ho.
432
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,042
Come on, bitch. Now.
433
00:17:57,109 --> 00:18:00,279
A Pimp Named Slickback,
could I please have a minute?
434
00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:02,247
A minute?
435
00:18:02,314 --> 00:18:04,850
Let us pray "The Pimp's Prayer."
436
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,820
Lord, please pray
for the soul of this bitch,
437
00:18:07,886 --> 00:18:11,723
and guide my pimp hand
and make it strong, Lord,
438
00:18:11,790 --> 00:18:16,028
so that she might learn
a ho's place. Amen.
439
00:18:16,094 --> 00:18:17,763
Amen. Yeah!
440
00:18:19,698 --> 00:18:20,766
[BELT SNAPS]
441
00:18:26,371 --> 00:18:28,707
You ain't gonna hit
no woman in my house.
442
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:32,311
What woman, sir?
This here's a ho.
443
00:18:32,377 --> 00:18:34,279
Not in this house,
she's not.
444
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:38,817
Why don't you
just wait outside.
445
00:18:41,553 --> 00:18:43,522
Damn, Indiana Jenkins.
446
00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:45,424
I didn't know
we was still whoopin' niggas.
447
00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:46,758
Fine.
448
00:18:46,825 --> 00:18:49,761
Bitch, you got 45 seconds,
and I'm leavin'.
449
00:18:49,828 --> 00:18:53,165
Forty-four, 43,
450
00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:55,167
42...
451
00:18:55,234 --> 00:18:56,869
I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
452
00:18:56,935 --> 00:18:58,904
I mean, at first,
I thought you knew.
453
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,405
How would I?
454
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:03,242
I mean, I don't see how
you couldn't have known.
455
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:05,244
Well, easy mistake,
I guess.
456
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:07,212
I mean, there were so many
obvious signs--
457
00:19:07,279 --> 00:19:09,047
All right, all right,
I got the point.
458
00:19:09,114 --> 00:19:11,683
Cristal, I don't care
what you've done in the past,
459
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:14,219
as long as you're ready
to start fresh.
460
00:19:14,286 --> 00:19:16,054
Think about it.
Twenty-four...
461
00:19:16,121 --> 00:19:17,823
You can stay here,
462
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,626
maybe get a job,
go back to school.
463
00:19:20,692 --> 00:19:21,793
We can make it work.
464
00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:23,896
I don't know, Robert.
465
00:19:23,962 --> 00:19:27,065
I'm not really cut out
for school and jobs.
466
00:19:27,132 --> 00:19:31,036
But you'll be able
to stay here with us.
467
00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:34,273
Yeah, you're right.
That sounds nice.
468
00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:37,309
Let me just go and get rid
of A Pimp Named Slickback,
469
00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:39,611
then maybe I'll get
some applications.
470
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:44,683
Eleven, 10, nine...
471
00:19:46,818 --> 00:19:48,020
You're coming back,
right?
472
00:19:48,086 --> 00:19:50,122
Of course.
473
00:19:50,188 --> 00:19:52,791
Time's up, bitch.
I am leavin'.
474
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,693
Thanks for trying to save me.
475
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,697
[CAR ENGINE STARTS]
476
00:20:00,732 --> 00:20:01,700
[TIRES SCREECHING]
477
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:03,402
CRISTAL:
No, Daddy! Wait, wait!
478
00:20:03,468 --> 00:20:04,536
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
479
00:20:04,603 --> 00:20:07,506
[COUGHING]
Wait, wait.
480
00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:09,474
[CRISTAL WHIMPERING]
481
00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:10,742
She'll be back.
482
00:20:13,812 --> 00:20:15,514
[DOOR CLOSES]
483
00:20:15,581 --> 00:20:16,949
HUEY:
I guess, deep down,
484
00:20:17,015 --> 00:20:19,518
all grownups want to find
that perfect person
485
00:20:19,585 --> 00:20:21,720
that'll guarantee that they'll
never be lonely again.
486
00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:25,624
I still believe Granddad'll
find his someday.
487
00:20:27,192 --> 00:20:29,695
[SNORING]
488
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,399
Did she come back?
489
00:20:34,466 --> 00:20:36,635
Don't blow out the candle.
She'll think nobody's home.
490
00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:39,271
It's all right,
Granddad.
491
00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:40,973
Maybe she'll be back tomorrow.
492
00:20:41,039 --> 00:20:42,074
[BLOWS]
493
00:20:44,843 --> 00:20:46,378
HUEY:
One thing I learned though...
494
00:20:46,445 --> 00:20:48,046
Come back!
495
00:20:48,113 --> 00:20:49,481
Wait!
496
00:20:49,548 --> 00:20:51,416
[LAUGHING]
497
00:20:53,952 --> 00:20:55,821
Run, bitch, run!
498
00:20:55,887 --> 00:20:58,457
she sure can run
in those heels.
499
00:20:58,523 --> 00:21:00,826
CRISTAL:
I can't go to school!
500
00:21:00,892 --> 00:21:03,395
I can't get no real job!
501
00:21:03,462 --> 00:21:05,964
[A PIMP NAMED SLICKBACK LAUGHS]
502
00:21:06,031 --> 00:21:07,899
A PIMP NAMED SLICKBACK:
Feel the burn.
503
00:21:10,168 --> 00:21:12,070
[♪♪♪]
35978
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