Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:42,000
Subtitles by downextreme
Thank You for choosing GeekRG
2
00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:51,153
How many stars
sparkle in the sky?
3
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:53,948
Ever tried counting them?
4
00:01:54,573 --> 00:02:01,956
It would take 6,000 years to
count those in our galaxy alone
5
00:02:02,665 --> 00:02:04,792
How many such galaxies exist?
6
00:02:05,043 --> 00:02:08,795
Scientists reckon
two billion more
7
00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:14,468
Isn't it possible that amongst
these billions of celestial bodies
8
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:18,139
a planet with people
like us exists?
9
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:22,310
As we explore space
looking for them,
10
00:02:22,685 --> 00:02:26,938
couldn't they be coming here,
looking for us?
11
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:57,965
Hindi pop song
12
00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:20,964
What the thief stole was the
gadget to recall his spaceship
13
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:24,843
Without this remote
he could not return home
14
00:06:25,136 --> 00:06:29,557
He neither knew our language,
nor had a friend here
15
00:06:29,891 --> 00:06:33,810
Alone, anguished,
his only thought was...
16
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:35,980
...how will I return home?
17
00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:03,925
On the pathway of Time
Life is but a brief flame
18
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:09,971
In its luminous mist
We wish, we dream, we exist
19
00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:13,309
But on a beautiful bend
20
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:16,353
A stranger may we meet
21
00:07:16,646 --> 00:07:19,649
Life after life
22
00:07:19,899 --> 00:07:22,944
Whose memory may persist
23
00:07:41,963 --> 00:07:43,965
Extra ticket.
Anyone extra ticket?
24
00:07:43,965 --> 00:07:46,132
- Yes sir...
- I'll take it!
25
00:07:46,968 --> 00:07:48,886
Sorry, I raised my hand first
26
00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:51,555
But I called out first
27
00:07:51,764 --> 00:07:54,808
I'm a big fan of
Mr Bachchan, the poet
28
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:57,478
I'm a bigger fan of his son,
the actor
29
00:07:57,853 --> 00:08:00,648
From age ten, I know all his poems.
Fully memorized
30
00:08:00,982 --> 00:08:03,985
From age five, I know his son's
dialogues - without memorizing
31
00:08:03,985 --> 00:08:05,819
Hello, who wants it?
32
00:08:06,112 --> 00:08:08,488
Give me.
Poetry's not his cup of tea
33
00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:09,949
€100
34
00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:13,952
€100 for a €40 ticket?
Black market of poetry!
35
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,163
Queued up six long hours
for this
36
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:17,790
Time is money
37
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:29,509
- Go for the dialogues.
- All yours. Ladies first
38
00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:33,264
Just a sec!
Why not split the ticket?
39
00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:40,312
1st half you enjoy the poetry.
2nd half I'll savor the acting
40
00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,941
That's a damn good idea!
41
00:08:46,277 --> 00:08:48,111
10, 20, 30, 40
42
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:48,821
50 more
43
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:50,780
-96
-96
44
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:55,952
€96. How about a discount?
We're from the same country
45
00:08:56,162 --> 00:08:58,413
Hail India, bro!
46
00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:01,583
Long live motherland!
€100
47
00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:05,796
Extra ticket.
Anyone extra ticket?
48
00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:08,006
Sir!
49
00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:10,926
Can I borrow €4?
Please!
50
00:09:11,177 --> 00:09:13,971
Keep my watch till I repay
51
00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:15,972
Please, Sir,
it's the last ticket
52
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:19,518
Show is sold out, child.
No tickets left
53
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:23,605
There is one left
with that black marketer
54
00:09:24,148 --> 00:09:28,193
Scoundrel!
Giving India a bad name
55
00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:29,028
So true!
56
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,655
Wait here.
I'll get you that ticket
57
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:33,783
OK, Sir
58
00:09:34,033 --> 00:09:35,076
Thank you
59
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:45,919
Yes!
60
00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:59,140
- Sir!
- Do I know you?
61
00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:00,850
Where's my ticket?
62
00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:03,937
Ticket?
Yours for €100
63
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:05,980
You bloody cheat!
64
00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:08,900
Decaying dacoit!
Senile snake! Capitalist!
65
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:09,985
Mind your language!
66
00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:12,321
Mind your coat first!
67
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:16,033
- Now enjoy the show!
- Security!
68
00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:18,661
- Wrinkled wreck!
- Security!
69
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,831
Let's get outta here
70
00:10:22,373 --> 00:10:24,958
I'll get you for this!
71
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,794
Don't chase me...
catch him!
72
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:44,937
Oldies these days!
It's a spoilt generation!
73
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:48,065
Forget it
74
00:10:48,399 --> 00:10:49,316
How can I?
75
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:52,278
That bandit basks in poetry
and here I am
76
00:10:52,278 --> 00:10:53,236
Drop it
77
00:10:54,989 --> 00:10:57,950
Why pine for the party
that shuns us?
78
00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:01,537
Follow the moment
that beckons us
79
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,123
I too dabble in poetry
80
00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:06,207
It's nice. Go on
81
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:13,215
No. If I go on,
you'll propose to me
82
00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,594
- You crazy?
- I mean it!
83
00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:18,971
Your favorite poet,
senior Mr Bachchan
84
00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:21,932
met a lady one morning,
wooed her with verse
85
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,643
By dusk they were married.
So I've read
86
00:11:24,894 --> 00:11:26,061
Really?
87
00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:29,148
And boy!
Look what they produced -
88
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,609
Amitabh Bachchan -
the great actor
89
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:34,320
Jaggu
90
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:35,863
Jaggu?
91
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:37,489
My name
92
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:40,993
Papa named me Jagat Janani:
world's mother
93
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:45,371
I got mocked at school
so I shortened it - Jaggu
94
00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:47,457
- From Mumbai?
- No. Delhi
95
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,335
I'm studying TV production
96
00:11:49,585 --> 00:11:50,628
And you?
97
00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:53,755
Sarfaraz. I study architecture
98
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,926
and work part time
at the Pakistan Embassy
99
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,345
Pakistan Embassy? Why?
100
00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:01,931
Well, I'm from Pakistan
101
00:12:02,181 --> 00:12:05,725
Unlikely the Indian Embassy
will employ me!
102
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,520
What's wrong?
103
00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:11,481
Nothing
104
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:20,240
My being from Pakistan
perturbs you?
105
00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:24,245
Alright then
106
00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:26,746
Goodbye
107
00:12:42,221 --> 00:12:48,309
Ask not my name,
nor my country
108
00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:54,774
From bondage of
borders break free
109
00:12:55,817 --> 00:13:01,282
A few steps
on this brief journey
110
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:07,203
Come,
just walk with me
111
00:13:17,298 --> 00:13:20,926
Ask not my name,
nor my country
112
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:24,513
From bondage of
borders break free
113
00:13:25,306 --> 00:13:29,100
A few steps
on this brief journey
114
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:32,687
Come,
just walk with me
115
00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:36,942
Past the realms of
word and speech
116
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:40,486
Hand in hand,
nowhere to reach
117
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:44,950
A few steps
on this brief journey
118
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:48,162
Come,
just walk with me
119
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:52,875
Past the realms of
word and speech
120
00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:56,628
Hand in hand,
nowhere to reach
121
00:13:57,754 --> 00:14:01,216
A few steps
on this brief journey
122
00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:05,553
Come,
just walk with me
123
00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:29,286
If the sun scorches
the pathway
124
00:14:29,745 --> 00:14:32,956
A carpet of shade
will I lay
125
00:14:33,624 --> 00:14:37,251
if darkness
fills you with dismay
126
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:41,130
I'll conjure up
a moon in the sky
127
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:45,302
If dejection fills up
your day
128
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:49,097
With laughter
I'll shoo it away
129
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:53,351
Laughing, frolicking,
humming a song
130
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:57,063
Together we shall
walk along
131
00:15:15,541 --> 00:15:19,001
With you,
my fellow traveller
132
00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:22,255
Nothing in this world I fear
133
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:27,260
Why a few steps,
a whole lifelong
134
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:30,721
With you I'll walk along
135
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:35,018
Past the realms of
word and speech
136
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:38,772
Hand in hand,
nowhere to reach
137
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:43,067
A few steps
on this brief journey
138
00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:47,197
Come,
just walk with me
139
00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:30,948
- Thank you
- Thank you
140
00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:33,243
Mom!
141
00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:34,161
Papa!
142
00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:35,745
She's fallen in love!
143
00:16:36,205 --> 00:16:38,373
Fallen in love?
144
00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:40,082
He's so cute!
145
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:41,793
More photos please!
146
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:44,754
What's his job?
What's his family like?
147
00:16:45,297 --> 00:16:47,131
Calm down Mom.
I'll tell you
148
00:16:47,508 --> 00:16:49,467
First, the name
149
00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:51,302
Sarfaraz
150
00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:53,554
Muslim?
151
00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:57,934
Yes. Studies architecture.
Family is in Pakistan
152
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,520
Pakistan!
Which Pakistan?
153
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,272
There's just
one Pakistan, Mom
154
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:03,356
You'll wear burkhas?
155
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,692
Read the Quran?
Have you gone mad?
156
00:17:05,901 --> 00:17:08,694
Don't you disconnect.
Stay put
157
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:10,239
Start the car
158
00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:12,532
All's doomed, Your Holiness.
Help!
159
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,618
I knew exactly
where Papa was headed
160
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:20,374
Since childhood one face had
surrounded us: His Holiness
161
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,125
Bye Mom
162
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,753
From bags to bathroom walls,
163
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:28,965
he was omnipresent
164
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:34,930
Even for a root canal
he would set the auspicious time
165
00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:41,519
He had gifted Papa a God box
with a deity for every task
166
00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:46,482
Goddess of Wealth
for the stock market
167
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:51,529
God of Health for workouts
168
00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:55,325
Web-based worship and
sacred sweets by courier
169
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:59,704
were his innovations
170
00:18:03,709 --> 00:18:06,670
Hail, Your Holiness
171
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:10,048
Hail, Your Holiness
172
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:14,635
Touch his feet Jaggu
173
00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:27,941
Why this fatal infatuation?
174
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,612
Pick up a pen and write
175
00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,363
God
176
00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:36,074
Enlighten me
177
00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:42,288
Yes...
178
00:18:43,874 --> 00:18:44,958
Yes...
179
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,420
Your wish is our command
180
00:18:49,046 --> 00:18:50,963
Write down the prophecy
181
00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:53,467
This Pakistani boy,
182
00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:55,301
Sarfaraz,
183
00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:57,929
will betray you
184
00:18:58,180 --> 00:19:00,432
I know he won't
185
00:19:02,017 --> 00:19:08,522
History stands witness:
these people scheme and betray
186
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:12,318
He will pursue
carnal pleasures
187
00:19:12,486 --> 00:19:15,739
But will never marry you.
He'll vanish
188
00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:20,911
Come home now! One more
night there, and you're dead to us
189
00:19:20,911 --> 00:19:23,788
Mr Sahni,
I'll talk to her
190
00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:27,792
Child, hit the delete button
191
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:31,212
Banish him
from your system
192
00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:36,926
Hello!
193
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:40,763
What happened?
194
00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:43,933
Do you love me?
195
00:19:44,643 --> 00:19:46,185
Of course I do. Why?
196
00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:49,940
- Will you marry me?
- What's the matter?
197
00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:51,107
Yes or no, Sarfaraz?
198
00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:53,276
- Yes, but...
- Tomorrow
199
00:19:53,652 --> 00:19:54,568
Tomorrow?
200
00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:57,364
Tomorrow we get married
201
00:19:58,615 --> 00:20:01,992
His prophecy is wrong.
I'll prove it
202
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:18,175
Mr James Herrick and
Miss Oprah Brown, you're next
203
00:20:18,593 --> 00:20:21,471
- James isn't here, yet.
- Oh, talk to the registrar
204
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,182
Could you just
hold this please?
205
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:25,767
- Yes of course.
- Thank you
206
00:20:27,144 --> 00:20:28,436
Hello...
207
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,522
This is for you
208
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,733
- For me?
- Yeah
209
00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:35,527
Thank you
210
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:41,615
It was from Sarfaraz
211
00:20:42,159 --> 00:20:45,202
He said: marriage isn't just
between individuals, but families
212
00:20:45,746 --> 00:20:48,664
Our faiths, countries,
cultures are different
213
00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:51,585
We can never be happy
if our families are unhappy
214
00:20:51,835 --> 00:20:54,045
Don't try to contact me
215
00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:55,838
I'm sorry
216
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,153
Where to go young lady?
217
00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:19,695
New Delhi
218
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:27,953
I came back to my city, but
my parents refused to see me
219
00:21:28,246 --> 00:21:30,123
I joined a news channel
as a reporter
220
00:21:30,499 --> 00:21:32,666
Today's story:
a depressed dog
221
00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:34,211
That's our breaking news!
222
00:21:34,711 --> 00:21:38,088
Some days we had news,
some days we fabricated it
223
00:21:58,609 --> 00:22:01,863
Missing: God
224
00:22:02,780 --> 00:22:05,450
If found, contact Tipsy
225
00:22:09,203 --> 00:22:11,705
There's a story in this man.
I'll see you at office
226
00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:13,708
Don't be late!
227
00:22:27,137 --> 00:22:28,265
Excuse me?
228
00:22:28,765 --> 00:22:30,267
Why are you
handing these out?
229
00:22:30,976 --> 00:22:32,935
I have a case
pending with Him
230
00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:35,188
He neither solves it,
nor meets me
231
00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:37,816
My life is kaput
232
00:22:38,983 --> 00:22:41,569
He's gone into hiding
233
00:22:42,988 --> 00:22:45,198
Have you seen Him around?
234
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,951
No
235
00:22:50,744 --> 00:22:59,086
Hail Goddess,
Hail Holy Mother
236
00:22:59,336 --> 00:23:03,758
Hail Goddess,
Hail Holy Mother
237
00:23:04,009 --> 00:23:06,219
By the way,
what's with the helmet?
238
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:08,596
Got the idea from taxi-tops
239
00:23:08,971 --> 00:23:11,724
Yellow yells out from miles
240
00:23:12,017 --> 00:23:14,978
Taxis are spotted
easily in traffic
241
00:23:15,561 --> 00:23:18,940
- So?
- So God can spot me easy!
242
00:23:19,316 --> 00:23:23,361
How else will he spot me
in this crowd?
243
00:23:31,702 --> 00:23:34,038
A bit to your left - perfect!
244
00:23:34,330 --> 00:23:35,664
Ok, background?
245
00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:37,541
Cue .1899“
246
00:23:38,375 --> 00:23:41,128
They say
animals are not suicidal
247
00:23:41,630 --> 00:23:45,717
Here's Nikku.
Mr Sweetie Singh's dog
248
00:23:46,300 --> 00:23:49,971
Nikku has attempted
suicide thrice
249
00:23:49,971 --> 00:23:55,602
Jumping off a roof, licking sleeping
pills, hopping onto a gas burner
250
00:23:55,977 --> 00:23:57,938
What's wrong with Nikku?
251
00:23:58,145 --> 00:24:01,357
Is Nikku prey to a
mental problem?
252
00:24:01,982 --> 00:24:03,317
Is Nikku...
253
00:24:05,569 --> 00:24:07,196
What's wrong Jaggu?
254
00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:09,365
What is this shit, Mitu?
255
00:24:13,744 --> 00:24:17,164
Our chat with famed industrialist
Mr Ratan continues
256
00:24:17,164 --> 00:24:18,916
right after this break
257
00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:22,586
Going well, Ratan?
Some coffee?
258
00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:24,213
Get him some coffee
259
00:24:24,506 --> 00:24:26,548
- Cherry...
- Oh no!
260
00:24:26,758 --> 00:24:30,010
What's your guess? This dog has
depression, anxiety disorder,
261
00:24:30,345 --> 00:24:33,597
schizophrenia, or ADHD?
262
00:24:34,015 --> 00:24:35,767
Whatever,
why would I care?
263
00:24:35,976 --> 00:24:36,934
Exactly
264
00:24:37,227 --> 00:24:41,940
Why would anyone care?
Then why do we air such bull?
265
00:24:42,856 --> 00:24:44,567
What would you rather air?
266
00:24:44,776 --> 00:24:46,944
Hold him please
267
00:24:48,863 --> 00:24:49,864
See this?
268
00:24:50,115 --> 00:24:53,159
I met a guy distributing
these pamphlets
269
00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:56,328
- He is searching for God.
- Found Him?
270
00:24:56,997 --> 00:24:58,539
No... but
271
00:24:58,748 --> 00:25:02,961
Searching for God - that's religion.
Finding God - that's news
272
00:25:02,961 --> 00:25:05,547
If he finds God, get him.
I'll put him on air
273
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:07,632
You know the Company policy
274
00:25:07,965 --> 00:25:10,300
No news on religion,
no news on God. Finished
275
00:25:10,969 --> 00:25:12,136
Man, you've changed!
276
00:25:12,679 --> 00:25:14,722
Where's the fighter,
Cherry Bajwa?
277
00:25:15,097 --> 00:25:17,558
You wanna see the fighter?
278
00:25:18,143 --> 00:25:19,685
Take a good look
279
00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:22,605
There are three marks here
280
00:25:23,105 --> 00:25:24,606
These aren't birthmarks
281
00:25:24,816 --> 00:25:28,987
I ran a show against His Holiness,
your Dad's Guru
282
00:25:29,362 --> 00:25:32,615
His devotees shoved a trident
right here in my bum
283
00:25:33,032 --> 00:25:35,492
Anchor coming to you
in 10 seconds
284
00:25:35,743 --> 00:25:38,163
That day I swore -
if you want to live in this country
285
00:25:38,538 --> 00:25:40,123
don't mess with religion.
That's it
286
00:25:40,330 --> 00:25:42,208
- I've got a show to run now.
- 5... 4...
287
00:25:42,375 --> 00:25:42,959
3...
288
00:25:42,959 --> 00:25:43,835
2...
289
00:25:44,126 --> 00:25:44,752
1...
290
00:25:45,127 --> 00:25:46,211
Welcome back from the break
291
00:25:46,587 --> 00:25:49,590
We were chatting with
famed industrialist Mr Ratan...
292
00:25:49,883 --> 00:25:52,676
The boss killed my story
293
00:25:52,969 --> 00:25:56,931
But it came back to life
two weeks later
294
00:26:37,180 --> 00:26:39,348
[DONATION BOX]
295
00:26:45,313 --> 00:26:47,147
Stop! Thief!
296
00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:51,528
He's stealing
from the donation box!
297
00:27:09,336 --> 00:27:10,797
Don't let him go!
298
00:27:18,179 --> 00:27:20,807
Lifting from the
donation box, you fool?
299
00:27:20,973 --> 00:27:21,682
Yes
300
00:27:21,682 --> 00:27:23,351
He's no thief!
301
00:27:23,809 --> 00:27:27,020
While donating
my wallet fell in the box
302
00:27:27,188 --> 00:27:29,481
He was getting it out for me
303
00:27:30,150 --> 00:27:31,276
Trust me
304
00:27:31,651 --> 00:27:36,114
Check for yourself.
It has Rs 5,000 in it
305
00:27:52,672 --> 00:27:54,339
- That's mine!
- It was
306
00:27:54,715 --> 00:27:56,843
Once in the box,
it's donated
307
00:27:57,093 --> 00:28:00,180
Now, it's God's.
Let them go
308
00:28:01,181 --> 00:28:03,892
Dude, what the hell
were you up to?
309
00:28:03,892 --> 00:28:05,143
Claiming my refund
310
00:28:05,393 --> 00:28:07,353
God took His fee
but didn't deliver
311
00:28:07,353 --> 00:28:08,938
Hang on...
312
00:28:09,564 --> 00:28:13,567
I saw you fish out some money,
then put some back in
313
00:28:13,567 --> 00:28:18,323
I took back what I'd paid
at this branch. Returned the rest
314
00:28:19,365 --> 00:28:21,617
You used to wear
beads and amulets?
315
00:28:21,617 --> 00:28:23,702
Rejected. Gone for good
316
00:28:24,077 --> 00:28:26,705
Why the stickers then?
317
00:28:27,164 --> 00:28:29,291
Self-defense!
318
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,961
God pics on walls - prevent peeing
319
00:28:33,296 --> 00:28:36,465
on face - prevent punches
320
00:28:42,471 --> 00:28:43,932
Mitu, where are you?
321
00:28:44,265 --> 00:28:46,683
Pick me up.
I've no money to get home
322
00:28:47,018 --> 00:28:48,269
I'll fill you in later
323
00:28:48,644 --> 00:28:51,980
I'm at Mudrika,
outside the temple
324
00:28:52,565 --> 00:28:54,483
Hurry.
Thanks, bye
325
00:28:56,109 --> 00:28:57,528
Here you go
326
00:28:57,987 --> 00:29:01,031
- For what?
- For the ride home
327
00:29:01,490 --> 00:29:05,953
When someone can't
get home, I feel sad
328
00:29:07,829 --> 00:29:10,916
- Wait.
- That's all I had
329
00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:13,294
I can't accept this
330
00:29:13,836 --> 00:29:17,673
- Why?
- Won't you need it to get home?
331
00:29:22,178 --> 00:29:25,932
Money can't get me home
332
00:29:26,098 --> 00:29:28,977
Why? Where do you live?
333
00:29:36,984 --> 00:29:40,570
In the step-well ruins
334
00:29:41,864 --> 00:29:46,827
But in this rainy season,
I check into a lock-up
335
00:29:47,494 --> 00:29:49,955
Lock-up!
As in police lock-up?
336
00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:53,917
There are 122 in the city.
I yo-yo between them
337
00:29:54,167 --> 00:29:57,462
And they let you check in,
like a hotel?
338
00:29:57,838 --> 00:30:00,258
Come.
I'll give you a demo
339
00:30:03,970 --> 00:30:05,680
[Sign: DO NOT URINATE HERE]
340
00:30:09,683 --> 00:30:11,102
Just watch!
341
00:30:12,144 --> 00:30:14,814
[Sign: DO NOT URINATE HERE]
342
00:30:15,147 --> 00:30:18,067
Hey, copper -
look here proper!
343
00:30:33,415 --> 00:30:35,792
I'll show you proper!
344
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:47,262
Jaggu!
345
00:30:49,973 --> 00:30:51,933
We have to
follow that van
346
00:30:52,143 --> 00:30:55,063
- Who are we chasing?
- A story
347
00:31:09,410 --> 00:31:12,121
Gimme your wallet.
I need cash
348
00:31:13,288 --> 00:31:15,708
Hurry!
Thanks. Bye
349
00:31:28,054 --> 00:31:29,430
Excuse me?
350
00:31:30,472 --> 00:31:31,307
Yes?
351
00:31:31,557 --> 00:31:34,059
I want to go
inside the lock-up
352
00:31:34,268 --> 00:31:35,478
Why?
353
00:31:36,395 --> 00:31:38,564
To meet that guy
354
00:31:40,191 --> 00:31:42,818
You think this is the
local coffee joint, huh?
355
00:31:42,984 --> 00:31:46,322
Saunter in and chillax
with your buddies?
356
00:31:46,697 --> 00:31:48,074
This is a lock-up, get it?
357
00:31:48,615 --> 00:31:52,327
Only offenders get in
358
00:31:54,163 --> 00:31:56,249
Bribing is an offence!
359
00:31:56,999 --> 00:31:59,919
That's why I'm committing it!
360
00:32:00,127 --> 00:32:01,170
I can lock you in
361
00:32:01,170 --> 00:32:03,256
Please do... ASAP!
362
00:32:10,596 --> 00:32:13,598
- Thank you, Mr Pandey.
- One hour, that's it
363
00:32:13,849 --> 00:32:15,226
Hi
364
00:32:16,477 --> 00:32:20,856
I want your story.
Will you share it?
365
00:32:21,731 --> 00:32:22,482
Why?
366
00:32:22,858 --> 00:32:25,944
I'm a TV reporter.
It's my job
367
00:32:38,708 --> 00:32:43,421
- Go on, ask.
- Awesome!
368
00:32:48,175 --> 00:32:50,470
Your name?
369
00:32:51,345 --> 00:32:53,138
Don't have a name
370
00:32:53,346 --> 00:32:56,017
They call me Tipsy here.
Beats me why
371
00:32:56,017 --> 00:32:58,478
And what do you do?
372
00:33:00,896 --> 00:33:03,106
I'm an astronaut
373
00:33:04,817 --> 00:33:06,277
Astronaut!
374
00:33:06,652 --> 00:33:08,945
Those who shoot off
to the moon?
375
00:33:09,321 --> 00:33:12,532
Been there once.
It's kaput
376
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:15,827
Sure!
377
00:33:16,412 --> 00:33:18,247
So what's your
favorite planet?
378
00:33:18,247 --> 00:33:21,125
- My own.
- I meant besides Earth?
379
00:33:21,459 --> 00:33:23,502
Earth is mega-kaput
380
00:33:23,836 --> 00:33:26,213
I meant my own planet
381
00:33:29,967 --> 00:33:33,930
It'll show up there at night
382
00:33:34,555 --> 00:33:36,807
We went bananas,
383
00:33:37,182 --> 00:33:42,063
when we found another planet
with people like us
384
00:33:42,813 --> 00:33:45,191
I was sent here
on a research mission
385
00:33:45,398 --> 00:33:47,234
Boy, what a welcome I got!
386
00:33:47,609 --> 00:33:49,778
My remote got robbed
387
00:33:50,613 --> 00:33:54,115
Without it,
I can't signal my people
388
00:33:54,115 --> 00:33:57,244
and without a signal
they won't come for me
389
00:33:57,702 --> 00:34:00,288
They'll think
it's a perilous planet
390
00:34:00,539 --> 00:34:03,000
That I'm dead as a dodo
391
00:34:07,630 --> 00:34:08,297
Hello!
392
00:34:08,672 --> 00:34:09,923
- Listen...
- What?
393
00:34:10,257 --> 00:34:11,842
Let me out.
I want to go home
394
00:34:12,134 --> 00:34:16,054
Your Highness, convicts
don't decide that. Cops do
395
00:34:16,347 --> 00:34:17,764
I'm not a thief
396
00:34:17,974 --> 00:34:19,432
So say all the thieves
397
00:34:19,849 --> 00:34:21,978
Where's officer Pandey?
398
00:34:21,978 --> 00:34:23,603
Out on his rounds
399
00:34:24,313 --> 00:34:25,940
Officer Pandey!
400
00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:27,733
Officer Pandey!
401
00:34:27,733 --> 00:34:30,777
Shut up, or you get
a knuckle sandwich
402
00:34:50,505 --> 00:34:53,217
You think
I'm talking baloney?
403
00:34:53,967 --> 00:34:55,510
Obviously!
404
00:34:55,969 --> 00:34:58,097
Is Hindi the official language
of your planet?
405
00:34:58,306 --> 00:35:00,056
On our planet...
406
00:35:00,849 --> 00:35:03,436
...there's no language!
407
00:35:03,853 --> 00:35:06,438
We read minds.
There's no confusion
408
00:35:06,771 --> 00:35:09,775
Here, you utter something
and mean something else
409
00:35:09,775 --> 00:35:11,943
A two-letter word can have
four different meanings
410
00:35:12,527 --> 00:35:17,240
When you nod and say "oh",
it means "Oh, that's cool"
411
00:35:18,617 --> 00:35:21,871
When your eyes pop out,
"oh!" means bad news
412
00:35:22,163 --> 00:35:24,956
"Your mother-in-law
is moving in." "Oh!"
413
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,501
When angry, you thunder
414
00:35:28,878 --> 00:35:32,130
"Oh! You'll pay
for that blunder!"
415
00:35:32,632 --> 00:35:35,467
And when your thought is deep,
your "oh" is long!
416
00:35:36,260 --> 00:35:38,679
"Ohhhhhhh! I see!"
417
00:35:39,639 --> 00:35:42,974
As you hear the words,
you gotta watch the expression
418
00:35:42,974 --> 00:35:45,018
to get the real meaning
419
00:35:45,018 --> 00:35:49,190
It's torture!
Took full 6 hours to learn Hindi
420
00:35:49,398 --> 00:35:52,568
A whole language in 6 hours?
421
00:35:52,568 --> 00:35:55,028
No one let me hold hands
422
00:35:55,612 --> 00:35:57,907
Finally, a nice lady
lent her hand
423
00:35:57,907 --> 00:36:01,911
I held it and transferred
her language into my system
424
00:36:01,911 --> 00:36:06,706
Man, there's no limit
to your whoppers!
425
00:36:06,873 --> 00:36:09,168
Is your hand a USB cable,
426
00:36:09,585 --> 00:36:13,172
that transfers files
between computers?
427
00:36:13,630 --> 00:36:17,217
And your clothes? Are faded jeans
the rage on your planet too?
428
00:36:17,510 --> 00:36:18,927
Noooo!
429
00:36:19,302 --> 00:36:20,429
On our planet...
430
00:36:20,762 --> 00:36:24,766
...no one wears clothes.
There we go bare
431
00:36:25,141 --> 00:36:27,936
Here, at first I thought
432
00:36:28,603 --> 00:36:31,940
your skins were
different from ours
433
00:36:32,565 --> 00:36:34,735
Some had sparkly hides,
434
00:36:34,985 --> 00:36:37,655
some jet black
435
00:36:38,822 --> 00:36:41,742
Some hides were colorful,
some white
436
00:36:42,659 --> 00:36:46,664
Some hides sticky-tight,
some baggy
437
00:36:48,748 --> 00:36:51,543
Then one day
I found a car
438
00:36:51,876 --> 00:36:53,003
A dancing car
439
00:36:59,342 --> 00:37:04,849
That day I realized
our skins were the same
440
00:37:05,141 --> 00:37:09,936
but yours are covered
with a thing called fashion
441
00:37:15,275 --> 00:37:17,945
Radio Commercial
442
00:37:18,195 --> 00:37:21,489
Now I could mingle
443
00:37:21,907 --> 00:37:25,494
Yet I was mocked
444
00:37:26,286 --> 00:37:29,664
Look here -
half man, half woman!
445
00:37:30,916 --> 00:37:32,293
Slowly I got it
446
00:37:32,543 --> 00:37:35,545
There's man - fashion
and woman - fashion
447
00:37:36,297 --> 00:37:37,630
There was day fashion...
448
00:37:37,965 --> 00:37:39,550
...and night fashion
449
00:37:39,967 --> 00:37:41,302
Sporting fashion...
450
00:37:41,302 --> 00:37:42,927
...and sewing fashion
451
00:37:45,972 --> 00:37:49,934
With the clothes,
I found some photos
452
00:38:02,405 --> 00:38:07,869
It hit me - these photos
meant survival
453
00:38:08,661 --> 00:38:11,331
You could
swap them for food
454
00:38:11,623 --> 00:38:14,918
So I built a portfolio
of this old man's photos
455
00:38:30,684 --> 00:38:32,353
What's this?
456
00:38:36,565 --> 00:38:38,818
What are these for?
457
00:38:41,237 --> 00:38:44,322
Why are you giving me
this junk?
458
00:38:46,992 --> 00:38:49,327
Right! Now we're talking!
459
00:38:49,744 --> 00:38:51,371
Here you go
460
00:38:52,414 --> 00:38:56,543
I got it: this photo had value
on just one kind of paper
461
00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:01,257
On any other paper,
it was worthless
462
00:39:03,592 --> 00:39:06,971
For cash and clothes,
dancing cars were widely available
463
00:39:07,179 --> 00:39:10,266
They were my bank,
they were my tailor!
464
00:39:12,101 --> 00:39:14,436
Once, I got
such magnetic attire
465
00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:17,815
that no photos
were needed
466
00:39:17,815 --> 00:39:19,942
Food was pulled to me
467
00:39:20,150 --> 00:39:21,943
For you, Sir
468
00:39:24,237 --> 00:39:28,157
Now, to find my remote, I had to
learn this planet's language
469
00:39:28,409 --> 00:39:31,494
Without it,
every task was a trial
470
00:39:31,996 --> 00:39:33,621
Like telling this gentleman
471
00:39:33,831 --> 00:39:37,251
there was a defect
in his fashion
472
00:39:44,132 --> 00:39:47,469
I felt I had spoilt his fashion
473
00:39:49,054 --> 00:39:52,056
So I put it back
where it was
474
00:40:13,119 --> 00:40:19,001
[Radio Announcement]
475
00:40:22,963 --> 00:40:24,505
Found him on the road
476
00:40:25,090 --> 00:40:27,134
Some scumbag
hit him and bolted
477
00:40:27,967 --> 00:40:29,929
Seems pretty okay,
478
00:40:31,179 --> 00:40:33,306
but isn't responding
479
00:40:34,099 --> 00:40:36,476
Has his eardrum
called it a day?
480
00:40:36,893 --> 00:40:38,771
Are you deaf?
481
00:40:39,228 --> 00:40:42,650
Can hear alright,
but isn't talking
482
00:40:43,317 --> 00:40:45,527
Seems in a state of shock
483
00:40:45,860 --> 00:40:48,947
Memory loss, I'm afraid
484
00:40:59,583 --> 00:41:02,585
Remember the scumbag
who hit you?
485
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:07,048
Remember the license plate?
486
00:41:08,300 --> 00:41:11,512
Remember anything at all?
487
00:41:39,914 --> 00:41:43,126
Come my friend.
Come with me
488
00:41:44,335 --> 00:41:48,340
Be my guest till you
get your memory back
489
00:41:50,592 --> 00:41:52,635
Keep slamming your head
490
00:41:52,969 --> 00:41:58,349
One knock took your memory away,
another might bring it back
491
00:41:58,641 --> 00:42:00,309
Seen it in the movies
492
00:42:00,309 --> 00:42:02,813
To figure what he was
yapping about,
493
00:42:02,813 --> 00:42:06,942
I had to hold his hand
and transfer his language
494
00:42:09,318 --> 00:42:10,945
Hey!
495
00:42:12,655 --> 00:42:15,951
With memory loss your gender
sense went for a toss?
496
00:42:16,242 --> 00:42:17,077
Wait a moment...
497
00:42:18,202 --> 00:42:19,704
See this - my license
498
00:42:20,079 --> 00:42:21,581
Sex: MALE
499
00:42:21,956 --> 00:42:22,623
Man...
500
00:42:22,958 --> 00:42:25,753
rogue, rascal, scumbag
501
00:42:27,336 --> 00:42:32,342
To return home
I had to hold someone's hand
502
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:52,362
Here comes my zany guest
503
00:42:55,574 --> 00:42:59,077
Can't tell guy from gal
Happily hits on all
504
00:43:02,664 --> 00:43:05,708
Here comes my zany guest
505
00:43:06,043 --> 00:43:09,253
Can't tell guy from gal
Happily hits on all
506
00:43:09,630 --> 00:43:13,007
Your frantic antics if not stilled,
will surely get me killed!
507
00:43:13,300 --> 00:43:15,969
Don't be a scourge
Do curb your urge
508
00:43:16,969 --> 00:43:23,768
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
509
00:43:25,311 --> 00:43:32,945
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
510
00:44:09,898 --> 00:44:13,443
Tourist in tacky gear
are you from near or far
511
00:44:13,693 --> 00:44:16,864
From Mumbai, Madrid
or Madagascar
512
00:44:17,322 --> 00:44:20,449
Tourist in tacky gear
are you from near or far
513
00:44:20,784 --> 00:44:24,036
From Mumbai, Madrid
or Madagascar
514
00:44:24,036 --> 00:44:30,960
What was your name at school
Was it nerdy or was it cool?
515
00:44:31,210 --> 00:44:37,925
What was your name at school
Was it nerdy or was it cool?
516
00:44:38,260 --> 00:44:41,847
What's the zip code
Of your abode
517
00:44:42,054 --> 00:44:45,641
Did you alight from a cloud
Or sprout from underground
518
00:44:45,641 --> 00:44:49,146
Your frantic antics if not stilled,
will surely get me killed!
519
00:44:49,478 --> 00:44:52,106
Don't be a scourge
Do curb your urge
520
00:44:52,983 --> 00:44:59,989
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
521
00:45:01,992 --> 00:45:08,248
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
522
00:45:10,791 --> 00:45:14,630
This memory loss is a blessing
523
00:45:17,965 --> 00:45:21,052
This memory loss is a blessing
524
00:45:21,219 --> 00:45:24,681
Feuds forgotten
lenders left guessing
525
00:45:24,847 --> 00:45:26,266
Lovable lad
526
00:45:26,641 --> 00:45:28,059
Innocent lad
527
00:45:28,643 --> 00:45:31,646
Don't be a scourge
Do curb your urge
528
00:45:32,188 --> 00:45:38,237
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
529
00:45:40,989 --> 00:45:47,663
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
530
00:46:17,693 --> 00:46:23,949
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
531
00:46:24,407 --> 00:46:26,076
Here comes the lusty lad!
532
00:46:26,284 --> 00:46:27,827
Here comes the lusty lad!
533
00:46:27,827 --> 00:46:31,039
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
534
00:46:41,090 --> 00:46:43,175
I feel your pain, bro
535
00:46:43,844 --> 00:46:45,594
But don't go grabbing hands
536
00:46:46,679 --> 00:46:51,476
You may end up in bed,
but most likely a hospital bed
537
00:46:54,855 --> 00:46:58,525
Don't give up,
I know place for you
538
00:47:10,661 --> 00:47:13,914
Hand, foot -
hold whatever
539
00:47:14,123 --> 00:47:15,916
No one will bash you here
540
00:47:16,251 --> 00:47:17,251
Come
541
00:47:17,626 --> 00:47:22,215
What a neighborhood!
Virtuous, welcoming women
542
00:47:22,798 --> 00:47:26,010
All reaching for my hand,
inviting me home
543
00:47:26,510 --> 00:47:30,806
Here I met a serene and
gentle woman, Pepper
544
00:47:30,974 --> 00:47:34,603
Pepper, take him
to the honeymoon suite
545
00:48:23,818 --> 00:48:25,862
Pepper sat patiently all night
546
00:48:26,070 --> 00:48:31,117
For full 6 hours,
I transferred her language files
547
00:48:31,742 --> 00:48:36,998
ABC - XYZ,
I drew in everything
548
00:48:47,634 --> 00:48:52,639
First time?... Kaput before you kicked off?
549
00:48:57,853 --> 00:48:59,813
Y...y... yes!
550
00:49:01,188 --> 00:49:03,650
Where are you from?
551
00:49:06,652 --> 00:49:09,072
Far, far away
552
00:49:09,989 --> 00:49:12,992
From an unheard of village
553
00:49:13,284 --> 00:49:15,829
But you speak my lingo!
554
00:49:16,246 --> 00:49:20,958
Because I learned it from you,
Sister
555
00:49:21,126 --> 00:49:24,963
Sister! You think
this is a convent? Out!
556
00:49:27,173 --> 00:49:27,923
Bro!
557
00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:31,177
Bro, wake up!
558
00:49:31,969 --> 00:49:33,429
Bro, wake up!
559
00:49:34,222 --> 00:49:34,972
Bro!
560
00:49:36,474 --> 00:49:37,976
You're talking!
561
00:49:37,976 --> 00:49:40,728
Bro, I need your help
562
00:49:40,978 --> 00:49:42,981
Pepper cleared up your throat!
563
00:49:43,231 --> 00:49:44,983
Bro, come with me quick
564
00:49:44,983 --> 00:49:47,818
Memory and making out
have a direct connection!
565
00:49:48,652 --> 00:49:52,949
Update the docs:
get laid, get well!
566
00:49:53,115 --> 00:49:55,494
It's urgent, bro!
567
00:49:55,827 --> 00:49:56,827
Okay, let's go
568
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:05,295
Stop... stop!
569
00:50:05,586 --> 00:50:07,422
Stop, bro!
570
00:50:10,967 --> 00:50:14,762
The jerk robbed me
right here
571
00:50:15,262 --> 00:50:17,932
I need my chain, bro.
I must get it back
572
00:50:18,224 --> 00:50:20,059
- Precious?
- It's priceless!
573
00:50:20,768 --> 00:50:23,355
The thief must be a local
574
00:50:23,855 --> 00:50:26,525
But he'll sell
the loot in Delhi
575
00:50:26,733 --> 00:50:30,237
If he sold pricey stuff here,
he'd get caught
576
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:33,114
Then I must go
577
00:50:33,489 --> 00:50:35,074
Where?
578
00:50:35,909 --> 00:50:36,952
Delhi
579
00:51:00,976 --> 00:51:02,561
- Officer!
- Yeah?
580
00:51:03,103 --> 00:51:06,146
- My remote control is stolen.
- Are you tipsy?
581
00:51:06,523 --> 00:51:09,358
Expect the police force
to track your TV remote?
582
00:51:09,985 --> 00:51:12,778
- It's not a TV remote!
- Then?
583
00:51:13,822 --> 00:51:17,157
Can't tell you.
But it's like a chain
584
00:51:17,157 --> 00:51:18,617
Really precious
585
00:51:18,994 --> 00:51:21,538
- Where was it stolen?
- In Mandawa
586
00:51:22,581 --> 00:51:26,458
And you're searching
in Delhi, you idiot?
587
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:28,795
The thief came to Delhi
588
00:51:28,961 --> 00:51:30,963
- So?
- So where's the thief?
589
00:51:30,963 --> 00:51:33,925
Blockhead!
It's a city of 15 million
590
00:51:34,092 --> 00:51:39,014
Police are human,
not God
591
00:51:40,599 --> 00:51:44,101
Only God can help you
592
00:51:45,228 --> 00:51:50,692
Surrender to God,
you'll succeed
593
00:51:51,025 --> 00:51:55,362
Only God knows
594
00:51:55,655 --> 00:51:59,284
Ask God, not me!
595
00:52:00,284 --> 00:52:03,746
Trust in God, my child
596
00:52:04,079 --> 00:52:09,501
Who was this God chap?
All said only He could help
597
00:52:10,085 --> 00:52:13,047
What I saw blew my mind
598
00:52:13,465 --> 00:52:17,177
Earthlings had figured out
who had manufactured them!
599
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:21,931
Their creator lived with them.
He had millions of houses
600
00:52:22,264 --> 00:52:28,646
Earthlings took their problems to Him,
which He solved for a small fee
601
00:52:29,105 --> 00:52:32,733
My planet had no such facility
602
00:52:33,068 --> 00:52:37,947
I could not believe it!
So decided to test it
603
00:52:39,990 --> 00:52:42,034
One take-away God
604
00:52:42,034 --> 00:52:45,454
Which one?
Rs 20, 50, 100, 500?
605
00:52:45,996 --> 00:52:49,250
Any difference?
In the Rs 20 and Rs 500 ones?
606
00:52:49,583 --> 00:52:51,753
Just the size.
Otherwise ditto
607
00:52:51,753 --> 00:52:55,172
Rs 20 God is
equally efficient?
608
00:52:56,257 --> 00:52:59,927
OK, gimme Rs 15!
Nothing less
609
00:53:12,856 --> 00:53:17,070
God, I am famished.
Get me some food please
610
00:53:29,039 --> 00:53:30,666
I went bananas
611
00:53:31,126 --> 00:53:35,170
God actually worked!
Now I could go home
612
00:53:35,170 --> 00:53:38,132
God, my remote is stolen
613
00:53:38,507 --> 00:53:41,635
Please find it.
I want to go home
614
00:53:54,983 --> 00:53:59,153
God's battery died.
Worked once, then kaput
615
00:53:59,153 --> 00:54:00,905
What do you mean?
616
00:54:00,905 --> 00:54:03,282
Stick a new battery in.
Where does it go?
617
00:54:03,282 --> 00:54:06,369
- It needs no battery.
- Then why is it off?
618
00:54:06,827 --> 00:54:10,373
- Manufacturing defect?
- I make no defective stuff
619
00:54:11,458 --> 00:54:16,128
- You made this God?
- Of course! With my own hands
620
00:54:16,838 --> 00:54:19,757
You made God,
or God made you?
621
00:54:19,965 --> 00:54:24,929
He made us all-
I only make His statues
622
00:54:25,137 --> 00:54:27,347
Why the statues?
623
00:54:27,514 --> 00:54:31,268
To worship Him.
To voice our problems
624
00:54:31,686 --> 00:54:35,940
ls there a transmitter inside?
How can He hear us?
625
00:54:36,983 --> 00:54:41,780
God needs no transmitter.
He hears directly
626
00:54:41,780 --> 00:54:44,740
Directly?
Then why the statue?
627
00:54:44,990 --> 00:54:47,534
What's with him?
628
00:54:48,494 --> 00:54:52,164
Want to bust my business?
What's your problem?
629
00:54:52,956 --> 00:54:54,918
My remote is stolen, Sir
630
00:54:55,126 --> 00:54:58,463
I'm requesting God.
But He doesn't reply
631
00:54:58,963 --> 00:55:01,007
. Are you tipsy?
- Meaning?
632
00:55:01,007 --> 00:55:04,260
You're overloading
this pint-sized God
633
00:55:04,260 --> 00:55:07,054
His itty-bitty feet
can't chase the thief
634
00:55:07,054 --> 00:55:10,099
Bother the big God
inside the temple
635
00:55:10,641 --> 00:55:13,018
He'll run fast
636
00:55:13,018 --> 00:55:16,856
Offer Him coconut and money -
He'll deliver
637
00:55:16,856 --> 00:55:18,690
That'll be Rs 200
638
00:55:24,155 --> 00:55:28,367
Earthlings waited with fees
to get their work done
639
00:55:28,867 --> 00:55:31,538
Full 2 hours later
I got the appointment
640
00:55:31,829 --> 00:55:33,121
God,
641
00:55:34,833 --> 00:55:38,126
please get my remote back
642
00:55:40,170 --> 00:55:42,215
- Where is it?
- Move!
643
00:55:42,548 --> 00:55:44,342
Wait,
He didn't deliver my stuff
644
00:55:44,759 --> 00:55:49,097
He didn't deliver!
See, I paid His fee
645
00:55:49,097 --> 00:55:51,056
- Your work will be done.
- But when?
646
00:55:51,224 --> 00:55:53,684
Can't say when,
but it will be done
647
00:55:53,893 --> 00:55:56,728
- Move on.
- But when will I get it?
648
00:55:56,728 --> 00:55:58,313
Don't block the line, scram!
649
00:55:58,481 --> 00:56:01,233
If I scram,
someone else may get it
650
00:56:01,233 --> 00:56:02,110
Are you tipsy?
651
00:56:02,110 --> 00:56:06,072
Lady, please!
Where will I get my stuff?
652
00:56:06,072 --> 00:56:08,074
At the mental hospital!
653
00:56:08,074 --> 00:56:11,994
What? Cash here,
delivery at mental hospital!
654
00:56:11,994 --> 00:56:14,246
- Throw him out!
- OK, give me a receipt
655
00:56:14,414 --> 00:56:15,081
Cut!
656
00:56:15,248 --> 00:56:18,710
Without a receipt
how do I claim my delivery?
657
00:56:18,710 --> 00:56:21,128
Get out!
658
00:56:21,128 --> 00:56:22,297
But my remote?
659
00:56:22,547 --> 00:56:23,715
Leave!
660
00:56:31,639 --> 00:56:34,309
I can't find my shoes
661
00:56:34,893 --> 00:56:37,978
Someone's taken them.
Now you take your pick
662
00:56:38,396 --> 00:56:41,231
Rotation is routine
at temples
663
00:56:54,746 --> 00:56:59,083
He took the payment,
didn't deliver
664
00:57:03,086 --> 00:57:04,547
What's his name?
665
00:57:04,547 --> 00:57:06,673
- They call Him God
- Real name?
666
00:57:07,007 --> 00:57:08,550
No idea
667
00:57:10,135 --> 00:57:11,346
Where does he live?
668
00:57:12,054 --> 00:57:14,014
In that temple
669
00:57:14,349 --> 00:57:18,186
- You handed him the cash?
- No. Put it in His box
670
00:57:18,186 --> 00:57:20,980
- Said he'd do the job?
- He says nothing
671
00:57:20,980 --> 00:57:22,523
Is he mute?
672
00:57:22,773 --> 00:57:24,358
Perhaps... maybe
673
00:57:24,983 --> 00:57:26,568
Oh...
674
00:57:28,153 --> 00:57:30,197
Describe him
675
00:57:32,992 --> 00:57:34,952
Ditto
676
00:57:36,871 --> 00:57:39,206
But a bigger chap
677
00:57:40,208 --> 00:57:41,541
Come near...
678
00:57:43,460 --> 00:57:44,836
Are you tipsy?
679
00:57:45,630 --> 00:57:48,340
Yes.
How do you all know?
680
00:57:48,507 --> 00:57:52,010
Think I'm a jackass?
20 years a cop!
681
00:57:52,219 --> 00:57:55,181
Who's tipsy who's not
I can tell in a snap
682
00:57:56,264 --> 00:57:59,184
Frisk him
683
00:58:00,894 --> 00:58:03,271
Let me have a look
684
00:58:04,773 --> 00:58:06,442
Dr D'Mello...
685
00:58:07,150 --> 00:58:11,989
Doc, why get so buzzed
you forget your faith?
686
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:16,077
Mistook temple for a church!
Wanna rouse a riot?
687
00:58:16,827 --> 00:58:21,081
Go to church.
To your own God
688
00:58:23,166 --> 00:58:24,918
Church?
689
00:59:13,467 --> 00:59:14,969
Get out of here
690
00:59:14,969 --> 00:59:17,929
My stuff!
My remote!
691
00:59:18,347 --> 00:59:21,476
God was crucified for your sins.
Ungrateful man!
692
00:59:21,976 --> 00:59:25,938
Crucified! When?
693
00:59:26,313 --> 00:59:29,692
2,000 years ago.
For your sins!
694
00:59:30,233 --> 00:59:33,320
What did I do?
I just got here
695
00:59:35,030 --> 00:59:37,199
Are you tipsy?
Yes!
696
00:59:37,199 --> 00:59:39,952
God is watching you.
Behave
697
00:59:40,702 --> 00:59:42,163
Where?
698
00:59:42,538 --> 00:59:43,873
Where is God?
699
00:59:44,248 --> 00:59:45,958
What's in the mug?
700
00:59:45,958 --> 00:59:47,251
Wine
701
00:59:47,626 --> 00:59:51,463
Wine!
Now I got it!
702
00:59:52,340 --> 00:59:54,925
God was bored of
coconut water
703
00:59:55,217 --> 00:59:59,012
Now He preferred wine.
But wine was expensive
704
00:59:59,347 --> 01:00:01,349
So I had to muster money
705
01:00:03,016 --> 01:00:07,646
I got some from the dancing car,
some from a gentleman
706
01:00:07,980 --> 01:00:10,608
who held out a bowl
of dole everyday
707
01:00:11,025 --> 01:00:14,152
You could withdraw
as per need
708
01:00:25,748 --> 01:00:31,003
[Radio Announcement]
709
01:00:34,465 --> 01:00:36,509
Sir, any God house
around here?
710
01:00:36,717 --> 01:00:38,635
Right there
711
01:00:38,844 --> 01:00:47,853
Preacher, let me drink
in God's abode
712
01:00:51,398 --> 01:00:58,072
Or show me a place
where there is no God
713
01:00:59,030 --> 01:01:01,701
Stop!
What's that?
714
01:01:01,992 --> 01:01:03,952
Wine, for God
715
01:01:04,327 --> 01:01:06,164
Where is He?
716
01:01:46,369 --> 01:01:48,623
This lady looked very sad
717
01:01:48,956 --> 01:01:51,751
To know why,
I grabbed her hand
718
01:01:52,043 --> 01:01:54,503
Hitting on a widow,
you lech!
719
01:01:54,836 --> 01:01:56,922
Widow?
How do you know?
720
01:01:57,130 --> 01:01:59,090
Don't you see
she's clad in white?
721
01:02:11,061 --> 01:02:12,146
Is everything fine?
722
01:02:12,146 --> 01:02:14,065
Everything is fine.
723
01:02:15,273 --> 01:02:17,150
Just relax. Smile.
724
01:02:18,652 --> 01:02:21,322
So sorry
your husband's dead
725
01:02:21,322 --> 01:02:22,739
- What?
- When?
726
01:02:22,989 --> 01:02:26,034
How do I know?
You are clad in white
727
01:02:26,034 --> 01:02:28,036
Brides wear white!
728
01:02:28,036 --> 01:02:30,789
No, widows wear white
729
01:02:30,956 --> 01:02:32,583
Widows wear black,
stupid!
730
01:02:32,583 --> 01:02:35,710
Now don't
stress her out. Go!
731
01:02:45,762 --> 01:02:48,099
All three lost your husbands?
732
01:02:48,556 --> 01:02:50,768
I'm alive you moron!
Want a whack?
733
01:02:52,394 --> 01:02:54,646
After many whacks,
I learnt
734
01:02:54,646 --> 01:02:58,067
there wasn't one God.
There were many Gods
735
01:02:58,233 --> 01:03:00,652
Each with His own
set of rules
736
01:03:01,027 --> 01:03:03,322
Each God had floated
His own Company
737
01:03:03,989 --> 01:03:05,949
They called it religion
738
01:03:06,367 --> 01:03:09,452
Each Company had
its own agents
739
01:03:09,786 --> 01:03:14,750
All Earthlings belonged to
some religion
740
01:03:15,083 --> 01:03:19,713
and followed the God
of that religion alone
741
01:03:20,297 --> 01:03:23,925
What was my religion,
who was my God?
742
01:03:24,592 --> 01:03:27,346
To find the remote
I had to know my God
743
01:03:43,153 --> 01:03:45,030
What are you doing?
744
01:03:45,364 --> 01:03:46,949
Where is the label?
745
01:03:47,199 --> 01:03:48,951
What label?
746
01:03:49,577 --> 01:03:51,119
The Religion label
747
01:03:52,079 --> 01:03:54,706
How do you know which
Company he belongs to?
748
01:03:55,248 --> 01:03:57,835
Where does God
label them?
749
01:03:58,501 --> 01:03:59,420
Security!
750
01:04:06,969 --> 01:04:09,554
Finding my religion
was tough
751
01:04:10,097 --> 01:04:14,934
So I decided to
worship all Gods
752
01:04:15,226 --> 01:04:18,938
One of them would be
my God, who'd help me
753
01:04:19,190 --> 01:04:25,528
It's You who governs
The world I hear
754
01:04:25,987 --> 01:04:31,786
Do listen to my plea
My home beckons me
755
01:04:32,161 --> 01:04:37,291
God where are You
756
01:04:38,958 --> 01:04:44,798
Tell me where are You
757
01:04:45,965 --> 01:04:52,681
You guide back to sanity
Those who've lost their way
758
01:04:52,681 --> 01:04:58,728
I too am completely lost
Guide me too, I pray
759
01:04:59,146 --> 01:05:04,193
God where are You
760
01:05:05,860 --> 01:05:11,659
Tell me where are You
761
01:05:39,353 --> 01:05:42,273
Shall I worship You
in temples
762
01:05:42,815 --> 01:05:45,733
In mosques
do my faith I show
763
01:05:46,068 --> 01:05:52,032
Or to a gurudwara
would You like me to go
764
01:05:52,867 --> 01:05:59,289
Temples and churches,
I looked everywhere
765
01:05:59,623 --> 01:06:05,628
My hope now,
has turned to despair
766
01:06:06,338 --> 01:06:11,552
My hope now,
has turned to despair
767
01:06:13,137 --> 01:06:19,143
My hope now,
has turned to despair
768
01:06:23,355 --> 01:06:29,152
Not a single ritual
Did I ever flout
769
01:06:30,320 --> 01:06:36,117
Like millions around
I submit without a doubt
770
01:06:36,659 --> 01:06:41,539
God where are You
771
01:06:43,208 --> 01:06:48,297
Tell me where are You
772
01:07:16,867 --> 01:07:23,164
You have many names
And many faces too
773
01:07:23,623 --> 01:07:29,672
I've walked each of the myriad
paths which lead to You
774
01:07:30,297 --> 01:07:36,469
In no shrine did I find You
775
01:07:36,971 --> 01:07:42,101
What else should I do
To find you give a clue
776
01:07:43,768 --> 01:07:49,023
What else should I do
To find you give a clue
777
01:07:50,650 --> 01:07:55,947
What else should I do
To find you give a clue
778
01:08:01,077 --> 01:08:06,791
I blindly follow and
With reverence treasure
779
01:08:07,793 --> 01:08:13,548
Your every whim and fancy
In more than ample measure
780
01:08:14,132 --> 01:08:18,636
God where are you
781
01:08:20,764 --> 01:08:25,144
Tell me where are you
782
01:08:27,563 --> 01:08:32,650
God where are you
783
01:08:34,235 --> 01:08:40,451
Tell me where are you
784
01:08:49,667 --> 01:08:52,671
God - I'm all confused
785
01:08:54,506 --> 01:08:59,177
What's my fault?
Why can't my voice reach you?
786
01:09:00,845 --> 01:09:03,349
Understand my plight
787
01:09:03,890 --> 01:09:05,934
Give me some guidance
788
01:09:06,518 --> 01:09:08,479
Please
789
01:09:10,855 --> 01:09:13,233
Shall I talk to you
with hands clasped,
790
01:09:13,650 --> 01:09:18,613
or on bent knees,
head to the ground?
791
01:09:20,990 --> 01:09:23,118
Do I wake you
with temple bells?
792
01:09:23,577 --> 01:09:25,496
Or call out on a loudspeaker?
793
01:09:26,622 --> 01:09:31,918
The Geeta, the Quran,
the Bible - what do I read?
794
01:09:32,502 --> 01:09:36,465
Your different managers
say different things
795
01:09:37,048 --> 01:09:41,636
Some insist fast on Monday,
others urge on Tuesday
796
01:09:42,054 --> 01:09:46,934
Some forbid food after sunset,
some after sunrise
797
01:09:47,768 --> 01:09:51,646
Some say, worship the cow.
Others say slaughter her
798
01:09:52,314 --> 01:09:57,778
Some send me barefoot to the temple,
some wearing shoes to the church
799
01:09:58,194 --> 01:10:00,948
What is right,
what is wrong
800
01:10:01,323 --> 01:10:03,701
I am clueless
801
01:10:05,327 --> 01:10:07,954
I'm at breaking point
802
01:10:10,289 --> 01:10:12,458
I want to go home
803
01:10:12,960 --> 01:10:17,131
I'll do whatever you ask.
Just get me home
804
01:10:17,631 --> 01:10:19,425
Please
805
01:10:21,051 --> 01:10:22,927
Say something
806
01:10:23,970 --> 01:10:25,930
At least one of you...
807
01:10:26,765 --> 01:10:28,934
...give me some answer
808
01:10:29,350 --> 01:10:30,728
Please
809
01:10:32,813 --> 01:10:34,189
Please
810
01:10:35,899 --> 01:10:37,609
Please
811
01:10:48,703 --> 01:10:51,539
Missing: God
812
01:10:58,296 --> 01:10:59,922
Missing: God
813
01:11:09,182 --> 01:11:10,100
Missing: God
814
01:11:45,551 --> 01:11:47,054
Why the lock man?
815
01:11:47,220 --> 01:11:49,222
I gotcha today
816
01:11:49,972 --> 01:11:51,225
Open!
It's my entry!
817
01:11:51,225 --> 01:11:53,268
Lord Shiva, slayer of sins
818
01:11:53,810 --> 01:11:55,061
who fears none
819
01:11:55,561 --> 01:11:58,023
Security!
Who are you?
820
01:11:58,023 --> 01:12:00,192
Don't you recognize me?
821
01:12:00,818 --> 01:12:02,944
I'm Tipsy!
822
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:06,698
Where the hell is security?
823
01:12:06,989 --> 01:12:10,452
Do I perform
for boozards in the toilet?
824
01:12:12,119 --> 01:12:14,206
Unlock that door now!
825
01:12:14,456 --> 01:12:16,166
My remote first!
826
01:12:16,166 --> 01:12:19,418
- What remote?
- Of my spaceship
827
01:12:19,837 --> 01:12:20,921
space... ship?
828
01:12:21,171 --> 01:12:24,507
Memory loss?
For the zillionth time,
829
01:12:24,966 --> 01:12:27,802
I'm not from here.
I'm from a far off planet
830
01:12:27,970 --> 01:12:29,011
Scooch!
831
01:12:29,345 --> 01:12:33,182
Gimme my remote,
and I go home. Got it?
832
01:12:33,766 --> 01:12:37,020
Brother let me go.
I've little kids at home
833
01:12:37,020 --> 01:12:39,564
I know!
You fathered two Gods
834
01:12:39,564 --> 01:12:42,359
Both are centuries old.
They can be home alone
835
01:12:42,359 --> 01:12:44,987
First my remote,
then your family reunion
836
01:12:45,988 --> 01:12:47,488
Oh God, save me please...
837
01:12:47,655 --> 01:12:49,323
There's a God
above you too?
838
01:12:49,323 --> 01:12:50,617
Lord Shiva, help
839
01:12:50,826 --> 01:12:52,493
Where?
840
01:12:54,621 --> 01:12:58,125
Now presenting the dance of Shiva,
the fearless
841
01:12:58,125 --> 01:12:59,208
Help!
842
01:12:59,877 --> 01:13:00,836
Help!
843
01:13:02,962 --> 01:13:04,131
Help!
844
01:13:10,970 --> 01:13:13,472
Help!
845
01:13:14,640 --> 01:13:15,600
Help!
846
01:13:32,618 --> 01:13:35,953
Hail Lord Shiva
847
01:13:54,765 --> 01:13:58,518
Hail Lord Shiva
848
01:13:59,144 --> 01:14:04,774
I was meditating on the
snowy peaks of the Himalayas
849
01:14:05,149 --> 01:14:08,319
when, suddenly - light!
850
01:14:08,737 --> 01:14:10,948
Dazzling light!
851
01:14:11,739 --> 01:14:16,953
It came from a bead
lying in the snow
852
01:14:17,871 --> 01:14:22,333
I shut my eyes
and invoked God
853
01:14:22,333 --> 01:14:25,545
Next moment,
I was connected
854
01:14:25,545 --> 01:14:28,297
I said,
"God, enlighten me,"
855
01:14:28,631 --> 01:14:30,967
What is this
miraculous object,
856
01:14:30,967 --> 01:14:34,095
that is warm
even in this biting cold?
857
01:14:34,762 --> 01:14:35,972
God said,
858
01:14:35,972 --> 01:14:40,978
it's a divine bead
from Lord Shiva's necklace
859
01:14:40,978 --> 01:14:46,858
Take it and enshrine it
in a grand temple
860
01:14:47,024 --> 01:14:53,573
Sighting this bead
will heal all suffering
861
01:14:53,573 --> 01:14:56,326
Hail Lord Shiva
862
01:14:57,118 --> 01:14:59,578
Are you ready
for the sighting?
863
01:14:59,997 --> 01:15:02,832
The divine bead from
Lord Shiva's necklace!
864
01:15:06,627 --> 01:15:11,048
Hail Lord Shiva
865
01:15:11,757 --> 01:15:15,845
Hail Lord Shiva
866
01:15:24,770 --> 01:15:27,231
Hail Lord Shiva
867
01:15:27,649 --> 01:15:29,443
Hail Lord Shiva
868
01:15:29,734 --> 01:15:30,694
Stop.
869
01:15:30,694 --> 01:15:34,989
Let him through.
He's awed by the sight
870
01:15:34,989 --> 01:15:37,074
Come.
- Hail Lord Shiva
871
01:15:37,074 --> 01:15:40,203
Not there child.
Come here
872
01:15:40,578 --> 01:15:42,288
Express your ecstasy
873
01:15:42,538 --> 01:15:44,791
Hail Lord Shiva
874
01:15:45,042 --> 01:15:48,545
Hail Lord Shiva
875
01:15:48,962 --> 01:15:51,381
God, where are you?
Please step out,
876
01:15:51,381 --> 01:15:53,632
I want to thank you
877
01:15:54,967 --> 01:15:56,427
He's right here
878
01:15:56,886 --> 01:15:58,680
I met Him in the toilet
879
01:15:58,680 --> 01:16:01,265
I asked for my property
and He bolted
880
01:16:01,640 --> 01:16:03,435
I thought He vamoosed
881
01:16:03,810 --> 01:16:07,314
But no!
He led me to my property
882
01:16:07,646 --> 01:16:10,024
Hail Lord Shiva
883
01:16:10,984 --> 01:16:13,028
This isn't Lord Shiva's bead
884
01:16:13,278 --> 01:16:16,280
It's my property,
misdelivered to you
885
01:16:16,280 --> 01:16:18,240
Your bead must be
misdelivered too
886
01:16:18,574 --> 01:16:23,287
Ask God, He is right here.
God, do step forward, clarify
887
01:16:25,332 --> 01:16:28,210
Anyway,
I'll take my property
888
01:16:30,252 --> 01:16:33,172
That's mine!
Why're you stopping me?
889
01:16:35,216 --> 01:16:39,054
Hail Lord Shiva
890
01:17:38,988 --> 01:17:44,578
Since when have you felt
you're from another planet?
891
01:17:46,912 --> 01:17:52,918
Listen. You need to see
a psychiatrist
892
01:17:53,962 --> 01:17:58,048
Time up! Rs 500 can buy
only this much jail time
893
01:18:04,972 --> 01:18:06,932
Here's my card
894
01:18:07,725 --> 01:18:11,770
My number's on it. I'll get you
an appointment if you wish
895
01:18:12,189 --> 01:18:14,690
Feel free to call. Okay?
896
01:18:15,984 --> 01:18:17,819
Take care
897
01:18:19,820 --> 01:18:21,948
Thank you officer Pandey
898
01:18:23,574 --> 01:18:26,578
You don't believe my story?
899
01:18:28,787 --> 01:18:32,917
Then go back to
the suicidal dog, Nikku
900
01:18:33,501 --> 01:18:35,921
That's the story for you
901
01:18:42,719 --> 01:18:46,305
I need to go back in
for 2 minutes
902
01:18:47,097 --> 01:18:50,268
Quit these entry - exits
903
01:18:50,810 --> 01:18:55,481
Another Rs 500,
he's all yours
904
01:18:55,774 --> 01:18:59,319
When did I mention Nikku,
the suicidal dog?
905
01:18:59,903 --> 01:19:01,445
You didn't
906
01:19:01,863 --> 01:19:03,657
So how do you know?
907
01:19:04,032 --> 01:19:08,869
When you held my hands,
I read your thoughts
908
01:19:09,912 --> 01:19:11,538
You thought:
this story is dead
909
01:19:11,789 --> 01:19:13,207
I got to live with the
Nikku story
910
01:19:13,541 --> 01:19:16,418
Don't lie!
I must have mentioned it
911
01:19:16,627 --> 01:19:19,922
I cannot lie.
Lies need language
912
01:19:20,131 --> 01:19:23,717
On our planet
we hold hands, read minds
913
01:19:24,761 --> 01:19:25,970
- Gimme your hand.
- No way
914
01:19:26,220 --> 01:19:28,430
- Try it...
- Help me, son
915
01:19:28,765 --> 01:19:33,936
My wife's ill. Hospital wants
a deposit of Rs 10,000
916
01:19:34,186 --> 01:19:38,358
I'm Rs 500 short.
If you can help...
917
01:19:38,565 --> 01:19:40,109
I'll give you
918
01:19:40,985 --> 01:19:42,028
Here
919
01:19:42,194 --> 01:19:44,989
Give your address.
I'll courier a check
920
01:19:44,989 --> 01:19:48,118
Courier can't reach my home.
Please keep it
921
01:19:48,368 --> 01:19:49,994
Thank you
922
01:19:50,996 --> 01:19:51,997
Sir...
923
01:19:52,706 --> 01:19:55,708
Here's another Rs 100.
For the tip
924
01:19:57,961 --> 01:19:59,921
Bless you
925
01:20:01,088 --> 01:20:04,926
Confirmed.
You are no mind reader
926
01:20:05,301 --> 01:20:10,347
You got conned.
There is no hospital around here
927
01:20:10,640 --> 01:20:11,932
I know!
928
01:20:12,100 --> 01:20:15,020
He's gifting his wife
a five star dinner
929
01:20:15,020 --> 01:20:17,229
It's her 75th birthday
930
01:20:17,229 --> 01:20:19,983
She'd never been
to a fancy place
931
01:20:20,233 --> 01:20:23,028
He's been saving from
his pension for months
932
01:20:23,194 --> 01:20:26,573
She ordered ice-cream
and his budget went kaput
933
01:20:26,780 --> 01:20:29,743
With a restroom excuse,
he ran out for some bucks
934
01:20:29,743 --> 01:20:31,118
Another yarn!
935
01:20:32,244 --> 01:20:35,414
On our planet, we don't lie
936
01:20:36,373 --> 01:20:38,083
Anyway, it's up to you
937
01:21:38,728 --> 01:21:40,270
- Here.
- Thank you Sir
938
01:21:40,270 --> 01:21:42,940
One moment. Tip him
939
01:21:43,149 --> 01:21:47,612
Why hold back -
it's your birthday!
940
01:21:47,904 --> 01:21:48,947
Thank you
941
01:22:17,975 --> 01:22:19,978
Address: Step-well ruins
942
01:22:44,335 --> 01:22:47,671
I told you.
On my planet, we don't lie
943
01:22:49,756 --> 01:22:51,926
Hope you haven't told anyone...
944
01:22:58,975 --> 01:23:01,019
...that you're an alien?
945
01:23:01,310 --> 01:23:02,479
No way!
946
01:23:02,729 --> 01:23:07,358
They'd lock me in a lab,
and rip me up for research!
947
01:23:09,319 --> 01:23:12,070
How come you told me?
948
01:23:13,698 --> 01:23:15,283
Ever since
I set foot on this planet
949
01:23:15,574 --> 01:23:18,536
everyone has taken
money from me
950
01:23:18,869 --> 01:23:22,122
You were the first to give it up
for me - dumping Rs 5,000 in a box
951
01:23:22,832 --> 01:23:26,336
I thought you are a good egg.
I could trust you
952
01:23:29,881 --> 01:23:32,257
I'll get your remote back, Tipsy
953
01:23:33,551 --> 01:23:34,927
How?
954
01:23:35,386 --> 01:23:39,474
I haven't figured it out yet,
but you'll go back home
955
01:23:39,890 --> 01:23:42,143
That's my promise
956
01:24:29,481 --> 01:24:31,525
What are you goggling at?
957
01:24:32,068 --> 01:24:33,069
You
958
01:24:34,112 --> 01:24:36,363
Aliens don't drop by everyday
959
01:24:37,698 --> 01:24:41,828
Everyone on your planet
has stick-out ears?
960
01:24:44,079 --> 01:24:45,582
Yup, ditto
961
01:24:45,582 --> 01:24:50,587
And they roam around naked?
Isn't it weird?
962
01:24:51,296 --> 01:24:54,923
That crow is naked -
does he look weird?
963
01:24:55,216 --> 01:24:58,386
If he dons a tie,
he'd look weird
964
01:25:00,470 --> 01:25:03,515
Tipsy, I was awake all night...
965
01:25:04,391 --> 01:25:07,520
...thinking how to get
your remote back
966
01:25:08,395 --> 01:25:09,146
Hello
967
01:25:09,396 --> 01:25:12,065
Connect to Balbir Singh.
Room No. 4
968
01:25:12,649 --> 01:25:13,775
Wrong number
969
01:25:14,277 --> 01:25:15,903
Isn't this Fortis Hospital?
970
01:25:16,237 --> 01:25:19,198
Since yesterday you've been
dialing this wrong number
971
01:25:19,198 --> 01:25:23,243
Impossible!
I can't be wrong every time!
972
01:25:24,412 --> 01:25:26,872
So how do we get
the remote?
973
01:25:30,167 --> 01:25:33,046
Connect to Balbir Singh.
Room No. 4
974
01:25:33,046 --> 01:25:36,006
Sorry, Sir.
You've called too late
975
01:25:36,381 --> 01:25:38,176
Balbir died this morning
976
01:25:38,635 --> 01:25:42,764
Huh! How can a
piles surgery be fatal?
977
01:25:43,096 --> 01:25:45,475
Embarrassing,
but don't worry
978
01:25:45,850 --> 01:25:47,935
Death Certificate
will say heart attack
979
01:25:48,226 --> 01:25:50,145
so the family saves face
980
01:25:50,520 --> 01:25:52,564
- Come for the body.
- On my way
981
01:25:52,981 --> 01:25:54,734
Ok, bye
982
01:25:57,612 --> 01:25:59,072
Why did you say that?
983
01:25:59,404 --> 01:26:00,782
Doling out joy
984
01:26:00,989 --> 01:26:05,161
When he finds his friend alive,
imagine his joy!
985
01:26:05,161 --> 01:26:06,037
What!
986
01:26:06,244 --> 01:26:10,332
I was sick of his calls.
So I played a prank
987
01:26:10,957 --> 01:26:14,170
- A prank?
- Tipsy, I was just kidding!
988
01:26:21,135 --> 01:26:22,552
I sot it!
989
01:26:23,595 --> 01:26:26,890
Someone is playing pranks
990
01:26:27,265 --> 01:26:29,726
When His Holiness dials God,
991
01:26:30,060 --> 01:26:33,230
cocking his head,
'God, enlighten me',
992
01:26:33,523 --> 01:26:35,649
his calls are going
to a Wrong Number
993
01:26:36,109 --> 01:26:38,944
Someone out there
plays pranks
994
01:26:39,237 --> 01:26:43,282
The real God won't call
my remote a bead
995
01:26:44,617 --> 01:26:51,332
Looks like the phone lines
to God have gone kaput
996
01:26:51,666 --> 01:26:54,042
All calls to God are going
to a Wrong Number!
997
01:26:54,377 --> 01:26:55,837
As in?
998
01:26:55,837 --> 01:27:00,216
Think - would the real God
give such weird solutions?
999
01:27:00,757 --> 01:27:04,595
Like - come rolling to me,
then I'll help you!
1000
01:27:05,011 --> 01:27:07,347
Aren't we God's children?
1001
01:27:07,640 --> 01:27:12,811
Would a father make his kids
roll for help?
1002
01:27:13,438 --> 01:27:18,359
Your Dad ever said - kiddo,
want a new dress? Start rolling!
1003
01:27:19,193 --> 01:27:23,613
Another prank - bathe me
with cow's milk! What bull!
1004
01:27:24,239 --> 01:27:30,246
And if these calls went to
the real God, what would He say?
1005
01:27:30,537 --> 01:27:35,208
He'd say - millions of my children
are starving on streets
1006
01:27:35,501 --> 01:27:38,503
Give them milk.
Don't give me a lactose shower
1007
01:27:39,087 --> 01:27:42,632
I'm sure someone's playing
pranks, like you just did
1008
01:27:43,216 --> 01:27:45,970
Tipsy thought His Holiness
was a victim of pranks
1009
01:27:46,304 --> 01:27:48,221
I didn't clear his confusion
1010
01:27:48,680 --> 01:27:51,350
for a crazy idea was
forming in my head
1011
01:27:51,684 --> 01:27:55,479
An idea that would
get back Tipsy's remote
1012
01:27:56,564 --> 01:27:57,606
Who's this Tipsy?
1013
01:27:58,231 --> 01:28:00,067
That's a mystery
1014
01:28:00,400 --> 01:28:03,237
But the way he sees
this world is unique
1015
01:28:03,613 --> 01:28:06,783
- As in?
- If he saw you smoking,
1016
01:28:07,115 --> 01:28:09,577
he'd call the cops to say
you're attempting suicide
1017
01:28:09,952 --> 01:28:10,661
Why?
1018
01:28:10,661 --> 01:28:13,663
The pack says 'Smoking Kills'
yet you puff away
1019
01:28:15,166 --> 01:28:17,083
So what's the big idea?
1020
01:28:18,920 --> 01:28:20,171
Face-off
1021
01:28:20,546 --> 01:28:23,341
Between
Tipsy and His Holiness.
1022
01:28:23,841 --> 01:28:26,469
We'll take
the face-off to TV
1023
01:28:27,094 --> 01:28:29,387
Ratings will go
through the roof!
1024
01:28:30,222 --> 01:28:32,975
I have three trident marks
on my right bum
1025
01:28:33,434 --> 01:28:36,061
You want three more on my
left for balance?
1026
01:28:36,436 --> 01:28:37,354
Don't worry
1027
01:28:37,563 --> 01:28:42,527
Tipsy won't fight His Holiness
but gently explain, that...
1028
01:28:42,984 --> 01:28:45,947
...his calls to God are going to
a Wrong Number
1029
01:28:46,488 --> 01:28:49,408
His Holiness will be stumped
1030
01:28:50,033 --> 01:28:50,784
Cherry!
1031
01:28:51,243 --> 01:28:54,579
Tipsy's here.
Just meet him once
1032
01:28:55,038 --> 01:28:57,416
I bet his queries
will baffle you
1033
01:28:57,792 --> 01:28:59,377
Trust me. Please!
1034
01:29:10,095 --> 01:29:12,055
Excuse me,
you dropped this
1035
01:29:12,055 --> 01:29:13,390
Oh, thank you
1036
01:29:16,978 --> 01:29:19,104
That's not mine
1037
01:29:20,605 --> 01:29:23,359
Kamasutra condoms,
strawberry flavor
1038
01:29:24,734 --> 01:29:27,697
I hate strawberries, man.
Ask these guys
1039
01:29:28,113 --> 01:29:30,490
It's not mine.
Buzzed bozo!
1040
01:29:32,743 --> 01:29:34,953
- Ma'am, yours?
- How dare you!
1041
01:29:35,246 --> 01:29:39,375
- Check your purse if it's missing.
- Shameless lad!
1042
01:29:40,376 --> 01:29:43,212
- Has to be yours.
- No, not mine
1043
01:29:43,546 --> 01:29:45,213
Tipsy, it's his
1044
01:29:45,506 --> 01:29:49,969
Ask him all you want
to know about it. Come on in
1045
01:29:54,390 --> 01:29:55,515
What's this?
1046
01:29:56,641 --> 01:29:58,185
It's a condom
1047
01:29:58,519 --> 01:30:03,231
- What does it do?
- Controls the world's population
1048
01:30:03,940 --> 01:30:04,900
How?
1049
01:30:05,400 --> 01:30:09,697
It has to be worn
while having sex
1050
01:30:12,073 --> 01:30:15,243
How does your wearing it
control the world's population?
1051
01:30:15,411 --> 01:30:18,538
Not just me...
millions wear it
1052
01:30:18,831 --> 01:30:20,750
They all borrow it from you?
1053
01:30:21,042 --> 01:30:22,877
No. Everyone has it
1054
01:30:23,252 --> 01:30:27,047
- I've a question
- Go on Tipsy, shoot
1055
01:30:27,381 --> 01:30:31,551
If money is dropped,
all run for it
1056
01:30:31,761 --> 01:30:37,015
If a condom is dropped,
all run away from it. Why?
1057
01:30:37,557 --> 01:30:39,935
Sex is a very private matter
1058
01:30:40,101 --> 01:30:41,395
Why?
1059
01:30:41,645 --> 01:30:44,981
You don't tell the whole town -
I'm having sex today
1060
01:30:45,440 --> 01:30:50,488
But, then at weddings,
with fireworks and music bands
1061
01:30:50,488 --> 01:30:55,408
why do they tell the whole town -
I'm having sex today?
1062
01:30:57,578 --> 01:30:58,912
What's the matter?
1063
01:30:59,663 --> 01:31:04,668
I have no answer for you
but I have a job for you
1064
01:31:05,627 --> 01:31:07,171
Thank you!
1065
01:31:08,213 --> 01:31:11,676
Let's beat it before
he changes his mind
1066
01:31:13,636 --> 01:31:16,137
Shield your holy bum,
Your Holiness
1067
01:31:16,389 --> 01:31:18,349
My trident is on its way
1068
01:31:22,310 --> 01:31:25,730
At this place His Holiness
connects his devotees to God
1069
01:31:25,939 --> 01:31:27,692
for solutions to their woes
1070
01:31:28,109 --> 01:31:31,069
Listen carefully to his calls
1071
01:31:31,069 --> 01:31:37,409
If you think the calls are going
to a Wrong Number, alert him
1072
01:31:37,868 --> 01:31:41,454
- Will that get me my remote?
- Once he realises...
1073
01:31:41,454 --> 01:31:46,210
...the bead story is a prank
he'll return your remote
1074
01:31:46,210 --> 01:31:49,255
Good plan. Let's go
1075
01:31:50,631 --> 01:31:53,842
To build a home for someone
is a holy deed
1076
01:31:53,842 --> 01:31:58,346
To build a home for God
is the holiest deed
1077
01:31:58,930 --> 01:32:01,475
So donate for the temple
1078
01:32:01,809 --> 01:32:04,603
And see
your woes flee
1079
01:32:05,395 --> 01:32:08,940
Son, voice your woe
1080
01:32:09,942 --> 01:32:11,277
Your Holiness,
1081
01:32:11,985 --> 01:32:14,447
my wife's been paralyzed
for six months
1082
01:32:14,822 --> 01:32:18,451
The doctors have given up.
What shall I...
1083
01:32:20,077 --> 01:32:21,578
God
1084
01:32:22,371 --> 01:32:23,663
Enlighten me
1085
01:32:30,796 --> 01:32:32,172
Yes...
1086
01:32:35,509 --> 01:32:37,720
What place?
1087
01:32:42,557 --> 01:32:44,476
What transport?
1088
01:32:47,145 --> 01:32:49,398
Your wish is our command
1089
01:32:52,193 --> 01:32:54,862
Have you heard of
the Rathong glacier?
1090
01:32:54,862 --> 01:32:56,029
No
1091
01:32:56,488 --> 01:33:00,951
It's in the Himalayas.
Take a train to Silliguri
1092
01:33:01,786 --> 01:33:04,497
then a bus to Gangtok
1093
01:33:05,372 --> 01:33:09,918
then an eight day trek
1094
01:33:10,461 --> 01:33:15,048
You'll reach a grand temple
1095
01:33:16,007 --> 01:33:19,177
Pray there,
your problem will be solved
1096
01:33:19,386 --> 01:33:21,764
Wrong Number!
This is a Wrong Number!
1097
01:33:22,139 --> 01:33:23,932
- What?
- Wrong Number
1098
01:33:24,307 --> 01:33:29,604
Your Holiness, your phone line
to God has gone kaput
1099
01:33:30,396 --> 01:33:32,440
Your calls are going to
a Wrong Number
1100
01:33:32,733 --> 01:33:36,487
and a fake God is
playing pranks
1101
01:33:36,694 --> 01:33:39,907
What are you trying to say?
1102
01:33:40,282 --> 01:33:43,118
I'll explain.
Aren't we God's children?
1103
01:33:43,786 --> 01:33:44,703
Yes, so?
1104
01:33:44,994 --> 01:33:48,582
Say your kid's in a jam
and comes to you
1105
01:33:49,041 --> 01:33:51,668
Will you help promptly,
or will you say
1106
01:33:51,918 --> 01:33:55,171
kiddo, I've another house
2,000 miles away
1107
01:33:55,381 --> 01:33:58,384
Come there, tell me
the same problem again
1108
01:33:58,716 --> 01:34:01,095
Then I'll solve it.
What bull!
1109
01:34:01,427 --> 01:34:06,684
If the call went to real God, He'd
say: Son, tend to your ailing wife,
1110
01:34:07,100 --> 01:34:09,395
don't run after me
1111
01:34:09,728 --> 01:34:12,648
after death
you'll come to me anyway
1112
01:34:12,856 --> 01:34:16,443
give her your time now. Right?
1113
01:34:20,738 --> 01:34:23,242
I can prove it's a prank
1114
01:34:23,449 --> 01:34:26,703
Call this fake God
again and ask
1115
01:34:27,037 --> 01:34:29,497
What's the guarantee
she will get well
1116
01:34:29,789 --> 01:34:33,877
Sir, till you get it in writing,
don't leave her side
1117
01:34:34,086 --> 01:34:37,006
Just call,
and clear all doubt
1118
01:34:38,006 --> 01:34:41,260
It's time for His Holiness'
holy silence
1119
01:34:43,011 --> 01:34:52,104
Praise be to God
Glory be to God
1120
01:34:54,773 --> 01:34:59,694
This fake God is passing off
my property as a holy bead
1121
01:35:00,069 --> 01:35:02,948
He's playing a prank
1122
01:35:04,490 --> 01:35:07,118
He is no God.
He is a fraud
1123
01:35:07,744 --> 01:35:09,662
He is a FRAUD
1124
01:35:09,954 --> 01:35:13,500
God doesn't talk
to us mortals
1125
01:35:14,251 --> 01:35:17,880
He communicates
through His managers
1126
01:35:18,380 --> 01:35:21,800
- Tipsy has raised a big question.
- What?
1127
01:35:23,301 --> 01:35:26,596
Is God really talking
to the managers?
1128
01:35:26,596 --> 01:35:27,555
No
1129
01:35:27,555 --> 01:35:31,810
So where do the commands
for us come from?
1130
01:35:32,185 --> 01:35:35,730
- From a Wrong Number!
- So what should the public do?
1131
01:35:35,980 --> 01:35:39,859
Till phone lines are fixed,
don't depend on God's managers
1132
01:35:39,859 --> 01:35:42,445
Help each other
in difficult times
1133
01:35:42,863 --> 01:35:49,912
A great tip from Tipsy:
Don't rely on God's managers
1134
01:35:50,203 --> 01:35:53,122
Rely on each other
1135
01:35:55,292 --> 01:35:59,046
Hail Lord Shiva
1136
01:36:00,381 --> 01:36:04,926
Tipsy says don't make the temple,
the bead belongs to him
1137
01:36:05,094 --> 01:36:07,136
What's in your pocket?
1138
01:36:09,640 --> 01:36:12,350
- Do you smoke?
- Yes
1139
01:36:12,643 --> 01:36:16,771
- You consume alcohol?
- Occasionally
1140
01:36:17,021 --> 01:36:20,317
You smoke cigarettes,
consume alcohol
1141
01:36:20,317 --> 01:36:23,904
despite knowing
their fatal effects
1142
01:36:24,779 --> 01:36:26,948
Governments
permit these poisons,
1143
01:36:27,448 --> 01:36:32,578
factories manufacture them,
stores sell them
1144
01:36:32,746 --> 01:36:34,914
Nobody questions this
1145
01:36:35,248 --> 01:36:42,715
But in this sacred land of
Lord Ram and Krishna
1146
01:36:42,922 --> 01:36:45,509
if I wish to build a temple
1147
01:36:46,385 --> 01:36:48,220
why these questions?
1148
01:36:49,054 --> 01:36:56,395
Why not question the man
who is trying to stall this temple?
1149
01:36:56,770 --> 01:36:58,354
Who's this Tipsy?
1150
01:36:58,855 --> 01:37:00,899
What's his real name?
1151
01:37:02,234 --> 01:37:06,363
Why's he hiding it?
Is he a Muslim?
1152
01:37:07,113 --> 01:37:11,452
If question you must,
go ask Tipsy
1153
01:37:11,452 --> 01:37:13,162
what is his religion?
1154
01:37:13,494 --> 01:37:17,707
Find out his religion,
Find out his faith
1155
01:37:20,627 --> 01:37:23,546
Centuries ago,
Mohammad of Ghazni
1156
01:37:24,422 --> 01:37:26,425
came and destroyed
our temples
1157
01:37:27,051 --> 01:37:31,512
Today another invader
wants to repeat history
1158
01:37:31,805 --> 01:37:32,930
But we won't allow...
1159
01:37:59,832 --> 01:38:04,337
Your God asks my religion.
Let's ask Him...
1160
01:38:04,505 --> 01:38:07,048
...the religions of these people
1161
01:38:07,048 --> 01:38:11,427
- What nonsense?
- Call up your God!
1162
01:38:11,427 --> 01:38:15,932
Why bother God?
I'll tell you
1163
01:38:16,265 --> 01:38:18,101
This one is a Hindu.
He's a Christian...
1164
01:38:18,435 --> 01:38:20,145
...Sikh, Jain and...
1165
01:38:20,479 --> 01:38:23,148
...that one is of your religion
1166
01:38:24,942 --> 01:38:27,528
Enlighten him
1167
01:38:28,028 --> 01:38:31,407
Hello. I'm Sikh
1168
01:38:31,739 --> 01:38:34,993
Greetings.
I'm Muslim
1169
01:38:35,411 --> 01:38:37,496
I'm Jain
1170
01:38:37,496 --> 01:38:39,914
Hi,
I'm Christian
1171
01:38:40,498 --> 01:38:43,752
Hello! I'm Hindu
1172
01:38:44,377 --> 01:38:45,712
Bamboozled!
1173
01:38:46,130 --> 01:38:49,757
I swapped their robes.
Get it?
1174
01:38:50,007 --> 01:38:52,094
Faith is connected
to fashion
1175
01:38:52,094 --> 01:38:55,180
Want a demo?
Check the math
1176
01:38:55,847 --> 01:38:58,475
Beard + moustache + turban = Sikh
1177
01:38:58,975 --> 01:39:01,603
Minus turban = Hindu
1178
01:39:01,854 --> 01:39:05,023
Minus moustache = Muslim!
1179
01:39:05,774 --> 01:39:08,734
This difference is
made by the fake God
1180
01:39:09,069 --> 01:39:11,529
If real God wanted it,
He'd put a label on us
1181
01:39:11,529 --> 01:39:14,615
- ls there a label on your body?
- Mine?
1182
01:39:14,615 --> 01:39:17,703
Don't gape, strip and check!
1183
01:39:18,119 --> 01:39:19,954
Why be coy?
1184
01:39:20,497 --> 01:39:25,335
Strip everyone, show His Holiness.
ls there any label?
1185
01:39:25,752 --> 01:39:29,590
Cut the coyness.
OK, I'll go first
1186
01:39:32,091 --> 01:39:34,636
See the bare facts
1187
01:39:35,845 --> 01:39:40,684
ls there a label?
1188
01:39:41,476 --> 01:39:43,020
Nothing! You see!
1189
01:39:43,311 --> 01:39:44,938
Check some more...
1190
01:39:45,439 --> 01:39:47,524
Remove this ruffian
1191
01:39:47,983 --> 01:39:51,069
Hey!
I'm proving a point
1192
01:39:51,235 --> 01:39:53,238
Start the chants!
1193
01:39:53,488 --> 01:39:56,033
Praise be to God
Glory be to God
1194
01:39:56,283 --> 01:40:00,119
That's no divine bead
1195
01:40:08,086 --> 01:40:09,128
Jaggu!
1196
01:40:10,296 --> 01:40:11,631
Stop this farce!
1197
01:40:12,131 --> 01:40:13,091
Papa!
1198
01:40:15,426 --> 01:40:19,515
You were all of 40 days, when
His Holiness christened you
1199
01:40:19,765 --> 01:40:23,476
Remember, he who gives you
a name, can ruin it too
1200
01:40:24,185 --> 01:40:26,395
He named me
Jagat Janani
1201
01:40:26,729 --> 01:40:28,148
How can he ruin it further?
1202
01:40:28,481 --> 01:40:31,443
You!
Name your price
1203
01:40:31,777 --> 01:40:32,360
Papa!
1204
01:40:32,610 --> 01:40:35,404
Trying to scare His Holiness
to extort money
1205
01:40:35,655 --> 01:40:36,198
No, no
1206
01:40:36,532 --> 01:40:41,369
You'll burn in Hell!
Fear the wrath of God!
1207
01:40:46,457 --> 01:40:49,086
Thank you Papa!
Thank you
1208
01:40:49,962 --> 01:40:53,422
I'd solved only half the puzzle.
You pieced it together
1209
01:40:53,756 --> 01:40:55,341
Fear is the key
1210
01:40:55,634 --> 01:41:00,972
The prankster is
cashing in on fear. Get it?
1211
01:41:01,515 --> 01:41:04,016
Not exactly,
but can you explain to Papa?
1212
01:41:04,184 --> 01:41:08,104
You bet! I can prove it.
Follow me
1213
01:41:09,398 --> 01:41:11,399
I don't have time
for this nonsense
1214
01:41:11,774 --> 01:41:15,737
If it turns out to be nonsense,
I'll call off the show
1215
01:41:28,542 --> 01:41:32,921
Exams are on at this college.
The students are scared stiff
1216
01:41:33,212 --> 01:41:38,092
Now, we'll establish our business -
The Fear Factory
1217
01:41:49,313 --> 01:41:51,648
Machine installed
1218
01:41:56,737 --> 01:41:59,530
A little seed capital
1219
01:42:03,493 --> 01:42:06,997
Now the inauguration
1220
01:42:16,172 --> 01:42:21,011
Just watch!
Capital doubles in 15 minutes
1221
01:42:26,975 --> 01:42:28,435
Look there
1222
01:42:30,561 --> 01:42:32,146
The first customer!
1223
01:42:32,814 --> 01:42:36,068
Tea... piping hot tea
1224
01:42:36,525 --> 01:42:38,819
Check the investment
of the tea vendor
1225
01:42:39,195 --> 01:42:42,490
Kettle, tea, sugar, bike,
thermos
1226
01:42:42,948 --> 01:42:46,494
And here -
a rock and a red mark
1227
01:42:46,787 --> 01:42:48,454
Hot and piping tea...
1228
01:42:48,704 --> 01:42:50,916
There, you gotta
woo the clients
1229
01:42:51,207 --> 01:42:54,002
Here you shoo them away
1230
01:42:54,211 --> 01:42:58,381
Hey, scram.
Give others a chance
1231
01:43:01,051 --> 01:43:03,345
There you bow
before the customer
1232
01:43:03,636 --> 01:43:05,930
Here the customer
bows before you
1233
01:43:08,432 --> 01:43:12,520
If he's in deep trouble,
he goes horizontal
1234
01:43:13,604 --> 01:43:17,984
The Wrong Number guy
trades in fear
1235
01:43:18,402 --> 01:43:21,404
He knows - those in dread
to the temple head
1236
01:43:22,197 --> 01:43:25,074
You too seem afraid!
Off with these...
1237
01:43:26,409 --> 01:43:28,912
Do not question religion
1238
01:43:29,496 --> 01:43:31,622
It's a matter of faith!
1239
01:43:31,957 --> 01:43:34,333
If God didn't want us
to raise questions
1240
01:43:34,667 --> 01:43:38,505
He wouldn't give us
the power to reason
1241
01:43:39,171 --> 01:43:42,676
Guardians of religion use violence
when they can't answer us
1242
01:43:43,176 --> 01:43:46,762
They scare us into silence.
But now we won't be silent
1243
01:43:47,430 --> 01:43:51,768
So far one Tipsy raised questions.
Now there'll be a thousand
1244
01:43:52,519 --> 01:43:55,020
Friends, pick up your phones
1245
01:43:55,396 --> 01:44:00,277
When you spot a Wrong Number,
shoot it and send it to us
1246
01:44:00,735 --> 01:44:02,945
We'll put it on TV
1247
01:44:03,404 --> 01:44:05,364
Dump your fear,
ask questions
1248
01:44:15,125 --> 01:44:17,002
Holy Sir!
1249
01:44:17,418 --> 01:44:18,795
One question
1250
01:44:18,795 --> 01:44:21,131
If you can conjure gold
from thin air
1251
01:44:21,422 --> 01:44:24,176
why don't you end
the nation's poverty?
1252
01:44:24,467 --> 01:44:26,344
Answer please
1253
01:44:27,136 --> 01:44:28,220
Holy Sir!
1254
01:44:28,220 --> 01:44:33,018
Since you're a walking gold mine,
why ask us for donations?
1255
01:44:35,520 --> 01:44:37,814
God is great!
1256
01:44:38,105 --> 01:44:40,358
This is a Wrong Number
1257
01:44:40,567 --> 01:44:44,029
- Jaggu... come with me
- Cherry give me a moment
1258
01:44:44,404 --> 01:44:48,240
Come with me
1259
01:44:48,408 --> 01:44:50,284
The Wrong Number idea
is a national rage
1260
01:44:50,786 --> 01:44:54,122
- What!
- It's spread like wild fire
1261
01:44:59,586 --> 01:45:02,338
Guru says - to land a job,
feed a cow
1262
01:45:02,631 --> 01:45:06,134
Is this cow
an employment agent?
1263
01:45:06,384 --> 01:45:10,095
Or posts CVs on Monster.com?
Wrong Number
1264
01:45:10,262 --> 01:45:11,347
Watch this one!
1265
01:45:12,056 --> 01:45:14,518
He says, convert to
Christianity, or be damned
1266
01:45:14,975 --> 01:45:18,521
If God wanted,
I'd be Christian by birth
1267
01:45:18,979 --> 01:45:21,524
Why convert now?
Wrong Number
1268
01:45:22,900 --> 01:45:24,485
These girls want to
go to school
1269
01:45:24,860 --> 01:45:27,948
A new dictat says:
kill them if they do
1270
01:45:28,155 --> 01:45:32,743
ls God so small,
He'll deny children knowledge?
1271
01:45:33,411 --> 01:45:34,954
Wrong Number
1272
01:45:35,538 --> 01:45:38,917
What God has destined for you
will happen
1273
01:45:39,376 --> 01:45:43,421
He has a master plan
for the Universe
1274
01:45:44,005 --> 01:45:45,631
Accept it
1275
01:45:45,966 --> 01:45:50,386
Your disciples say:
to get a male child,
1276
01:45:50,595 --> 01:45:55,057
buy this book,
and chant the mantras
1277
01:45:55,391 --> 01:45:59,020
So buy a Rs 10 book
1278
01:45:59,020 --> 01:46:01,814
and bust
God's master plan!
1279
01:46:11,157 --> 01:46:15,287
Tipsy! Your show's a hit!
Messages are pouring in
1280
01:46:15,494 --> 01:46:17,162
Here's one more
1281
01:46:22,167 --> 01:46:23,336
What happened?
1282
01:46:24,253 --> 01:46:28,173
It's Papa. He's ashamed
I'm his daughter
1283
01:46:32,011 --> 01:46:34,639
I was in tenth grade
1284
01:46:35,931 --> 01:46:38,518
when I wrote my first poem
1285
01:46:39,226 --> 01:46:41,270
For Papa
1286
01:46:42,271 --> 01:46:47,610
They say my Mom I resemble.
I say possible,
1287
01:46:48,444 --> 01:46:51,573
but I'm my Daddy's girl
1288
01:46:51,989 --> 01:46:54,367
I recited it
on the Annual Day
1289
01:46:54,993 --> 01:46:56,912
All parents clapped
1290
01:46:57,369 --> 01:47:01,332
but one whistled with joy
1291
01:47:02,542 --> 01:47:06,587
The applause ended,
the whistling continued
1292
01:47:07,588 --> 01:47:09,131
It was Papa
1293
01:47:09,632 --> 01:47:11,676
He was so proud of me
1294
01:47:13,136 --> 01:47:17,599
And now this message.
Ashamed of you
1295
01:47:18,265 --> 01:47:23,395
There's a Wrong Number
in your Papa's head
1296
01:47:24,146 --> 01:47:29,694
The day he gets rid of it,
he'll whistle for you again
1297
01:47:30,153 --> 01:47:31,820
It won't happen
1298
01:47:32,447 --> 01:47:35,449
Don't be sad. Come with me
1299
01:47:35,449 --> 01:47:39,621
On my planet when people are sad,
know what they do?
1300
01:47:40,121 --> 01:47:41,456
What?
1301
01:47:41,789 --> 01:47:44,458
Recharge the battery!
1302
01:47:44,792 --> 01:47:47,503
- What!
- Just copy me
1303
01:47:52,759 --> 01:47:54,344
What are we doing?
1304
01:48:00,391 --> 01:48:02,101
Shut your eyes!
1305
01:48:02,268 --> 01:48:04,104
How do I copy then?
1306
01:48:04,104 --> 01:48:05,939
Right.
Keep them open
1307
01:49:40,240 --> 01:49:43,203
To steal glances at you all day
1308
01:49:43,494 --> 01:49:46,206
To strain for every word you say
1309
01:49:46,581 --> 01:49:49,458
To put every chore aside
1310
01:49:49,833 --> 01:49:52,796
And follow your every stride
1311
01:49:53,003 --> 01:49:55,547
That's nothing but a
waste of time
1312
01:49:56,131 --> 01:49:58,926
Love is a waste of time
1313
01:49:59,385 --> 01:50:01,930
Amore is nothing more
1314
01:50:02,387 --> 01:50:05,350
Love is a waste of time
1315
01:50:05,934 --> 01:50:08,895
But my mind and heart insist
1316
01:50:09,145 --> 01:50:11,898
Once in this life at least
1317
01:50:12,398 --> 01:50:14,692
I must waste my time
1318
01:50:15,109 --> 01:50:17,779
Without reason or rhyme
1319
01:50:18,320 --> 01:50:21,115
I want to waste my time
1320
01:50:21,448 --> 01:50:24,034
I love this waste of time
1321
01:50:41,176 --> 01:50:45,515
A zillion peeps into the mirror
1322
01:50:47,475 --> 01:50:52,229
A million times
I've styled my hair
1323
01:50:53,981 --> 01:50:59,112
Countless sets of
clothes I've tried
1324
01:51:00,404 --> 01:51:04,951
Emptied perfume
bottles with flair
1325
01:51:06,578 --> 01:51:12,332
Dressing up is all I did
Did nothing else worthwhile
1326
01:51:13,208 --> 01:51:15,962
Now I understand
1327
01:51:16,296 --> 01:51:18,922
That love is waste of time
1328
01:51:19,381 --> 01:51:22,342
But my mind and heart insist
1329
01:51:22,635 --> 01:51:25,637
Once in this life at least
1330
01:51:25,971 --> 01:51:28,390
I must waste my time
1331
01:51:28,682 --> 01:51:31,476
Without reason or rhyme
1332
01:51:31,978 --> 01:51:34,730
I want to waste my time
1333
01:51:35,105 --> 01:51:38,359
I love this waste of time
1334
01:52:13,978 --> 01:52:18,524
My world has
topsy-turvy turned
1335
01:52:20,609 --> 01:52:25,489
I know not how to tell you
1336
01:52:26,990 --> 01:52:31,912
I smile without rhyme
or reason
1337
01:52:33,206 --> 01:52:37,752
What's happening
I have no clue
1338
01:52:39,587 --> 01:52:45,342
The mind just wants to soar
And from rooftops yell
1339
01:52:46,010 --> 01:52:52,100
Now I understand
Love is a waste of time
1340
01:52:52,391 --> 01:52:55,520
But my mind and heart insist
1341
01:52:55,728 --> 01:52:58,523
Once in this life at least
1342
01:52:58,855 --> 01:53:00,984
I must waste my time
1343
01:53:01,943 --> 01:53:04,487
Without reason or rhyme
1344
01:53:04,737 --> 01:53:07,782
I want to waste my time
1345
01:53:08,073 --> 01:53:11,452
I love this waste of time
1346
01:53:51,117 --> 01:53:54,244
The donation box is getting
more questions than cash
1347
01:53:54,578 --> 01:53:59,417
Your relics don't sell anymore
1348
01:53:59,958 --> 01:54:04,046
Millions of abuses on
Facebook and Twitter
1349
01:54:05,547 --> 01:54:08,885
- Just five?
- Those are in support
1350
01:54:09,301 --> 01:54:11,220
The abuses are in here
1351
01:54:11,929 --> 01:54:18,060
It's time for action, Sir.
Avoiding the issue can be disastrous
1352
01:54:22,689 --> 01:54:24,233
Missing: God
1353
01:54:24,567 --> 01:54:25,984
Call Cherry Bajwa
1354
01:54:26,694 --> 01:54:30,489
Tipsy has asked many questions.
I'll ask him just one
1355
01:54:30,739 --> 01:54:33,618
- Hey Jaggu
- What happened?
1356
01:54:34,618 --> 01:54:38,038
His Holiness wants to come
on the show. To debate with Tipsy
1357
01:54:38,247 --> 01:54:40,917
- Tipsy'll rip him!
- It'll be a mother of a show!
1358
01:54:41,250 --> 01:54:44,545
Get Tipsy ready.
Put the promos out
1359
01:54:44,962 --> 01:54:48,673
'The Final Question'
Sunday 6:00 pm
1360
01:54:50,551 --> 01:54:55,097
Don't miss, 'The Final Question'
Sunday 6:00 pm
1361
01:54:55,264 --> 01:55:00,019
My pal's become a star!
Hey look, he's a rock star
1362
01:55:00,228 --> 01:55:03,939
Rock star was
roaming butt naked
1363
01:55:04,231 --> 01:55:09,362
I made him a star.
The bloke's on TV
1364
01:55:09,945 --> 01:55:15,993
and me - in this shanty town,
this crappy shack
1365
01:55:16,411 --> 01:55:20,747
guzzling booze with
a jackass like you
1366
01:55:20,957 --> 01:55:23,083
Star my foot!
1367
01:55:39,182 --> 01:55:41,644
Tipsy, some
Bhairon Singh for you
1368
01:55:41,978 --> 01:55:43,061
Bhairon!
1369
01:55:43,270 --> 01:55:44,980
Take that line
1370
01:55:46,399 --> 01:55:48,734
- Bro!
- You lusty lad
1371
01:55:48,984 --> 01:55:50,944
You're a rock star!
1372
01:55:51,112 --> 01:55:53,363
Bro, where are you?
1373
01:55:53,530 --> 01:55:56,617
In Mandawa.
Coming to Delhi tomorrow
1374
01:55:56,951 --> 01:55:59,578
With a gift for you
1375
01:56:00,037 --> 01:56:04,332
I've nabbed the thief
who stole your stuff
1376
01:56:04,708 --> 01:56:07,627
He sold it for 40 grand
1377
01:56:08,296 --> 01:56:10,422
- Guess to whom.
- Whom?
1378
01:56:11,047 --> 01:56:14,342
His Holiness!
1379
01:56:16,595 --> 01:56:23,560
God said: it's a divine bead
from Lord Shiva's necklace. Take it...
1380
01:56:24,103 --> 01:56:29,817
...and enshrine it in a grand temple.
Sighting this bead...
1381
01:56:30,025 --> 01:56:31,359
HEY;
1382
01:56:32,653 --> 01:56:34,822
what happened?
1383
01:56:35,323 --> 01:56:38,993
The thief who stole
my remote is caught
1384
01:56:39,284 --> 01:56:40,619
What! Really?
1385
01:56:40,869 --> 01:56:46,208
Bro said, the thief sold it to
His Holiness
1386
01:56:46,375 --> 01:56:48,211
Then His Holiness is finished!
1387
01:56:48,961 --> 01:56:52,672
We'll tell him -
return the remote,
1388
01:56:53,048 --> 01:56:55,342
or the thief tells all on TV
1389
01:56:56,135 --> 01:57:01,599
So he didn't find my remote
in the Himalayas! He's lying
1390
01:57:02,641 --> 01:57:06,811
Wrong Numbers are not
floated by some fake God...
1391
01:57:07,313 --> 01:57:09,481
...but by His Holiness
1392
01:57:11,943 --> 01:57:14,237
You knew this Jaggu?
1393
01:57:14,403 --> 01:57:16,738
Remember the day
you mentioned Wrong Number
1394
01:57:17,073 --> 01:57:21,993
All his calls are going
to a Wrong Number
1395
01:57:22,286 --> 01:57:26,916
I knew then you were on the
wrong track. But I kept mum
1396
01:57:27,250 --> 01:57:30,920
If you'd called him a fraud,
people would have killed you
1397
01:57:31,170 --> 01:57:33,256
People crave for the unique
1398
01:57:33,463 --> 01:57:35,091
Wrong Number!
1399
01:57:35,382 --> 01:57:38,219
Your Wrong Number
concept was unique
1400
01:57:38,511 --> 01:57:41,055
Today the world supports you
1401
01:57:41,264 --> 01:57:45,810
Tipsy, my plan worked!
You're going home!
1402
01:57:50,480 --> 01:57:53,900
You'll fly away tomorrow,
my friend
1403
01:57:54,193 --> 01:57:56,945
Whoosh... gone
1404
01:57:58,655 --> 01:58:01,449
We'll never meet again
1405
01:58:03,034 --> 01:58:06,162
There will be such a void
1406
01:58:07,372 --> 01:58:10,126
I'll really miss you
1407
01:58:11,918 --> 01:58:13,921
Shall I stay back?
1408
01:58:16,841 --> 01:58:19,342
How can you?
1409
01:58:20,219 --> 01:58:23,514
Simple,
I have a job
1410
01:58:24,097 --> 01:58:27,143
I'll get some ID made
and settle here
1411
01:58:27,601 --> 01:58:31,771
I'll find someone to
'waste time' with me
1412
01:58:32,398 --> 01:58:34,817
I'll marry her
1413
01:58:35,150 --> 01:58:37,819
- Who'll marry you!
- Why not?
1414
01:58:38,237 --> 01:58:42,617
Your wife will go nuts
introducing you -
1415
01:58:43,408 --> 01:58:46,996
Meet my husband.
He's Tipsy!
1416
01:58:47,997 --> 01:58:51,207
That's not my name!
1417
01:58:51,375 --> 01:58:54,086
- Tipsyyy!
- I'll get a real name
1418
01:58:55,378 --> 01:59:01,135
Why don't you suggest one?
A name you love
1419
01:59:01,926 --> 01:59:07,557
A man's name must
match his personality
1420
01:59:07,850 --> 01:59:09,351
Right!
1421
01:59:09,601 --> 01:59:12,145
So how is my personality?
1422
01:59:12,479 --> 01:59:14,356
I'll explain
1423
01:59:15,065 --> 01:59:17,652
A poet once wrote...
1424
01:59:19,403 --> 01:59:22,364
Irony of mismatched names...
1425
01:59:22,614 --> 01:59:25,909
No poetry, please!
I've something to say
1426
01:59:26,534 --> 01:59:30,997
Who says
'What's in a name?'
1427
01:59:32,500 --> 01:59:36,252
If you don't get the right one,
what a pain
1428
01:59:37,296 --> 01:59:41,175
Mr Burns is in fact so cool
1429
01:59:41,550 --> 01:59:44,345
With violence alone
Mr Peace does rule
1430
01:59:45,845 --> 01:59:51,351
His name is Mr Fox
But has no bushy tail
1431
01:59:52,395 --> 01:59:57,024
"I love you Jaggu"
1432
01:59:57,399 --> 02:00:01,362
One whole ton is the
weight of Mr Flower
1433
02:00:01,987 --> 02:00:05,783
At his mere sight,
the poor chair does cower
1434
02:00:05,990 --> 02:00:07,618
Very nice... very nice
1435
02:00:07,952 --> 02:00:11,372
Here's a bunch of cards
with different names
1436
02:00:11,788 --> 02:00:15,208
Pick the one you like
1437
02:00:15,417 --> 02:00:18,045
Danduram Thatte?
1438
02:00:18,503 --> 02:00:20,965
- Disaster!
- Next!
1439
02:00:21,716 --> 02:00:23,384
Tutari Singh?
1440
02:00:23,842 --> 02:00:25,469
Phooey!
1441
02:00:26,595 --> 02:00:28,180
Sarfaraz
1442
02:00:32,643 --> 02:00:35,229
- Sarfaraz...
- What happened?
1443
02:00:35,520 --> 02:00:38,274
Keep going,
find a good name
1444
02:00:41,694 --> 02:00:43,279
What's the matter?
1445
02:00:43,945 --> 02:00:45,488
Nothing
1446
02:01:38,042 --> 02:01:39,918
"I love you Jaggu"
1447
02:01:54,057 --> 02:01:55,768
Brother!
1448
02:02:28,384 --> 02:02:32,054
God is in His Heaven
We mortals on ground
1449
02:02:32,429 --> 02:02:35,765
God is in His Heaven
We mortals on ground
1450
02:02:36,391 --> 02:02:40,354
Nowadays He doesn't have
Time to look around
1451
02:02:40,563 --> 02:02:44,524
God is in His Heaven
We mortals on ground
1452
02:02:52,658 --> 02:02:56,119
Whatever may happen here
He does not reprimand
1453
02:02:56,537 --> 02:03:00,498
Thousand evils, million wrongs
He does not take a stand
1454
02:03:00,791 --> 02:03:05,170
Plundering is all around
Bombs come to hound
1455
02:03:52,760 --> 02:03:56,095
A terrorist outfit has claimed
responsibility for the blast
1456
02:03:56,430 --> 02:03:59,600
They say this was
a mock drill
1457
02:04:00,184 --> 02:04:02,810
Persecute our people,
and real war will follow
1458
02:04:03,186 --> 02:04:06,064
We shall protect our God
1459
02:04:27,418 --> 02:04:29,587
Where are you
going, Tipsy?
1460
02:04:30,421 --> 02:04:31,631
On the show
1461
02:04:32,006 --> 02:04:34,009
You don't have to
1462
02:04:36,386 --> 02:04:38,930
I must.
More than ever
1463
02:04:53,444 --> 02:04:58,701
'The Final Question'
Welcome to our special show
1464
02:04:58,993 --> 02:05:00,536
in which we meet Tipsy...
1465
02:05:00,536 --> 02:05:02,496
Wait a minute
1466
02:05:08,460 --> 02:05:10,337
Bring it
1467
02:05:15,967 --> 02:05:17,720
What is this?
1468
02:05:18,052 --> 02:05:22,640
God says: it's a divine bead
from His necklace
1469
02:05:22,975 --> 02:05:26,520
This man claims,
it's his property
1470
02:05:27,395 --> 02:05:30,774
God says: build a temple
1471
02:05:31,399 --> 02:05:34,819
And this man opposes it
1472
02:05:35,112 --> 02:05:40,451
Who do I listen to?
God, or this gentleman
1473
02:05:40,951 --> 02:05:46,582
who used to hand out these
blasphemous pamphlets?
1474
02:05:48,082 --> 02:05:51,086
First he claimed,
God is missing
1475
02:05:51,753 --> 02:05:53,713
Then said, God is a fraud
1476
02:05:54,006 --> 02:05:57,717
Next he'll say,
God is dead
1477
02:05:59,219 --> 02:06:04,725
What do you want, son?
A world without God?
1478
02:06:06,976 --> 02:06:11,398
Do you have any clue
how people suffer?
1479
02:06:11,856 --> 02:06:14,109
No food to eat
1480
02:06:14,818 --> 02:06:16,779
No place to live
1481
02:06:17,695 --> 02:06:20,407
No friend to talk to
1482
02:06:20,990 --> 02:06:27,497
People kill themselves.
Slit their wrists, jump off buildings
1483
02:06:27,914 --> 02:06:31,918
Why?
Because they have no hope
1484
02:06:32,377 --> 02:06:36,923
If bowing before God,
smearing holy ash,
1485
02:06:37,632 --> 02:06:42,345
wearing amulets,
gives them hope to live,
1486
02:06:42,679 --> 02:06:47,350
then who are you
to snatch away that hope?
1487
02:06:47,975 --> 02:06:56,025
And if you snatch away their God,
how will you fill that void?
1488
02:06:56,984 --> 02:07:00,988
This man rants about
Wrong Numbers
1489
02:07:01,405 --> 02:07:07,246
Today he must tell us:
what is the Right Number?
1490
02:07:15,087 --> 02:07:18,131
You are right, Your Holiness
1491
02:07:18,923 --> 02:07:24,345
There was a time
I too had no food to eat
1492
02:07:25,180 --> 02:07:26,931
No place to live
1493
02:07:27,474 --> 02:07:32,520
I cried a lot
because I had no friend
1494
02:07:33,980 --> 02:07:37,192
I had only one hope then -
1495
02:07:39,735 --> 02:07:41,488
God
1496
02:07:42,530 --> 02:07:45,658
Each day I hoped:
tomorrow will be better
1497
02:07:46,076 --> 02:07:48,744
God will find a solution
1498
02:07:50,538 --> 02:07:57,253
I agree
belief in God gives hope,
1499
02:07:58,588 --> 02:08:02,759
the strength to face ordeals
1500
02:08:04,011 --> 02:08:06,430
But I have one question
1501
02:08:09,474 --> 02:08:12,394
Which God shall I believe in?
1502
02:08:13,395 --> 02:08:16,648
You say there is ONE God
1503
02:08:17,608 --> 02:08:19,525
I say no
1504
02:08:20,569 --> 02:08:22,069
There are TWO Gods
1505
02:08:23,613 --> 02:08:25,740
One who created us
1506
02:08:27,492 --> 02:08:31,204
And the other
whom you created
1507
02:08:32,163 --> 02:08:35,375
We know nothing about
the God who made us
1508
02:08:35,917 --> 02:08:40,546
But the God YOU made up,
is just like you
1509
02:08:40,963 --> 02:08:45,426
Petty.
Takes bribes, makes false promises
1510
02:08:45,636 --> 02:08:49,640
Readily meets the rich,
keeps the poor waiting
1511
02:08:50,056 --> 02:08:53,393
Thrives on flattery.
Makes you live in fear
1512
02:08:55,436 --> 02:08:57,689
My Right Number is simple
1513
02:08:59,233 --> 02:09:03,945
The God who created us all,
believe in Him
1514
02:09:05,447 --> 02:09:08,783
The God YOU created -
1515
02:09:09,743 --> 02:09:11,912
abolish him
1516
02:09:12,287 --> 02:09:13,579
Yes!
1517
02:09:14,122 --> 02:09:18,085
You'll abolish my God
and I'll keep quiet?
1518
02:09:18,460 --> 02:09:22,463
I know how to
protect my God
1519
02:09:22,756 --> 02:09:24,548
You will protect God?
1520
02:09:25,300 --> 02:09:27,135
You!
1521
02:09:27,426 --> 02:09:29,095
This is a puny planet
1522
02:09:29,845 --> 02:09:32,682
Billions of bigger planets
float in space
1523
02:09:32,975 --> 02:09:37,688
And you, sitting in a tiny corner of this
puny planet, have the nerve to say
1524
02:09:37,979 --> 02:09:41,565
you will protect Him,
who created the Universe?
1525
02:09:42,693 --> 02:09:47,363
He doesn't need your protection.
He can protect Himself
1526
02:09:50,993 --> 02:09:56,372
Today someone tried to
protect God and my friend died
1527
02:09:57,373 --> 02:10:00,127
This is all that's left-
his shoe
1528
02:10:00,793 --> 02:10:03,087
Stop protecting God
1529
02:10:03,671 --> 02:10:07,091
Or this planet will have
no humans, only shoes
1530
02:10:07,426 --> 02:10:09,802
A Muslim terrorist
blows up a train
1531
02:10:10,720 --> 02:10:16,100
and a Hindu guru endures
your sermon. That's nice
1532
02:10:16,393 --> 02:10:21,273
What's this Hindu, Muslim?
Show me the label
1533
02:10:22,440 --> 02:10:25,234
You created these differences.
Not God
1534
02:10:25,985 --> 02:10:31,908
This is the deadliest
Wrong Number of this planet
1535
02:10:32,199 --> 02:10:34,786
It kills people,
separates them
1536
02:10:35,287 --> 02:10:40,167
Like your Wrong Number
separated Jaggu from Sarfaraz
1537
02:10:40,375 --> 02:10:46,340
- What Wrong Number?
- That Sarfaraz will betray
1538
02:10:46,672 --> 02:10:49,176
He did betray her
1539
02:10:49,384 --> 02:10:53,764
- What's going on?
- Hold it
1540
02:10:55,806 --> 02:11:02,939
You say my prediction
about Sarfaraz was wrong?
1541
02:11:03,230 --> 02:11:04,483
Exactly!
1542
02:11:04,483 --> 02:11:08,612
Then prove it-
prove my prophecy wrong!
1543
02:11:08,819 --> 02:11:13,283
Failing that,
fall at my feet and admit
1544
02:11:13,533 --> 02:11:17,371
that you are a liar.
You tried to defame me
1545
02:11:18,162 --> 02:11:20,207
What if I prove it?
1546
02:11:20,498 --> 02:11:22,250
Tipsy... don't!
1547
02:11:28,256 --> 02:11:29,925
Then this is yours
1548
02:11:35,971 --> 02:11:37,474
I accept
1549
02:11:38,015 --> 02:11:42,686
Tum the cameras towards
Jagat Janani
1550
02:11:48,944 --> 02:11:55,533
I hope you will answer
my questions truthfully
1551
02:11:58,036 --> 02:12:03,082
In Belgium you fell in love
with a Pakistani boy
1552
02:12:04,542 --> 02:12:05,752
True or false?
1553
02:12:06,168 --> 02:12:08,380
Please spare my personal life
1554
02:12:08,587 --> 02:12:17,139
On Friday, at 3:21 pm
I predicted this boy will betray you
1555
02:12:17,555 --> 02:12:21,935
The next day you went to the
Marriage Registrar's office
1556
02:12:22,435 --> 02:12:24,145
but he didn't show up
1557
02:12:24,729 --> 02:12:27,106
True or false?
1558
02:12:27,314 --> 02:12:30,484
Yes, he didn't come.
Please stop this
1559
02:12:31,987 --> 02:12:38,159
Now will you come to my feet
or do I walk my feet to you?
1560
02:12:38,493 --> 02:12:42,456
- Sarfaraz did not betray.
- Please let it go!
1561
02:12:42,456 --> 02:12:45,041
No. Tell us
what happened that day
1562
02:12:45,375 --> 02:12:46,667
Please!
1563
02:12:46,960 --> 02:12:50,421
Just once,
for my sake
1564
02:12:55,385 --> 02:12:58,387
I was at the Marriage
Registrar's office and
1565
02:12:58,846 --> 02:13:00,724
a letter was brought to me
1566
02:13:00,724 --> 02:13:02,934
Did Sarfaraz bring it?
1567
02:13:04,935 --> 02:13:08,981
No.
He sent it through a kid
1568
02:13:09,274 --> 02:13:12,152
- Was it signed?
- No
1569
02:13:12,402 --> 02:13:16,198
How do you know
Sarfaraz sent it?
1570
02:13:19,326 --> 02:13:23,454
It could have been
for some other girl
1571
02:13:26,166 --> 02:13:30,753
There was another girl.
With a cat, right?
1572
02:13:32,713 --> 02:13:36,676
She gave you the cat
to hold for a while
1573
02:13:37,676 --> 02:13:41,347
The kid who gave you the letter-
did he know you?
1574
02:13:41,597 --> 02:13:44,350
- No!
- Did you know him?
1575
02:13:44,935 --> 02:13:45,769
No
1576
02:13:45,935 --> 02:13:49,523
Then how would he know
the letter was for you?
1577
02:13:50,814 --> 02:13:57,404
Maybe he was told to give
the letter to the girl with the cat
1578
02:13:59,615 --> 02:14:06,038
You read the letter,
but didn't call Sarfaraz
1579
02:14:06,581 --> 02:14:08,875
Did you?
1580
02:14:09,626 --> 02:14:16,800
Because this man planted
a Wrong Number - that Muslims betray
1581
02:14:17,216 --> 02:14:19,386
Sarfaraz didn't betray you
1582
02:14:19,594 --> 02:14:20,929
What's going on?
1583
02:14:21,429 --> 02:14:26,434
You expect us to believe
these cat and bull stories?
1584
02:14:26,434 --> 02:14:27,726
One minute
1585
02:14:28,185 --> 02:14:32,189
We'll get to the truth right now.
Call Sarfaraz
1586
02:14:32,439 --> 02:14:34,568
Hurry UP!
1587
02:14:36,735 --> 02:14:40,239
This number does not exist
1588
02:14:41,115 --> 02:14:44,327
Any other number?
Friend, college, something?
1589
02:14:44,618 --> 02:14:47,663
- C'mon Jaggu!
- Belgium University
1590
02:14:52,252 --> 02:14:54,128
- Hello.
- Hello!
1591
02:14:54,128 --> 02:14:58,132
I actually need to get in touch with
one of your grad students
1592
02:14:58,382 --> 02:14:59,926
Sarfaraz Yousuf
1593
02:15:00,092 --> 02:15:02,345
Oh yeah.
He left for Pakistan last year
1594
02:15:03,387 --> 02:15:05,015
Has he left a number?
1595
02:15:05,015 --> 02:15:07,600
Sorry, we are not authorized
to give out information
1596
02:15:07,934 --> 02:15:09,644
This is really important
1597
02:15:09,644 --> 02:15:12,439
E-mail us your request and
I can forward it to Student Affairs
1598
02:15:12,814 --> 02:15:14,189
Have a nice day dear
1599
02:15:14,440 --> 02:15:16,400
His Pakistan number?
1600
02:15:16,400 --> 02:15:19,445
- Don't know.
- Think, Jaggu darling
1601
02:15:20,404 --> 02:15:22,907
I work at the
Pakistan Embassy
1602
02:15:23,408 --> 02:15:26,036
His job -
Pakistan Embassy, Belgium
1603
02:15:26,703 --> 02:15:29,079
Mitu, call the Pakistan Embassy,
Belgium
1604
02:15:29,079 --> 02:15:31,332
- Copy sir.
- Put it on the speakers
1605
02:15:34,711 --> 02:15:36,546
Greetings.
Pakistan Embassy
1606
02:15:37,255 --> 02:15:38,672
Hello
1607
02:15:40,300 --> 02:15:43,386
A student from Lahore
worked with you
1608
02:15:43,720 --> 02:15:47,431
- Sarfaraz Yousuf.
- Is your name Jaggu?
1609
02:15:50,225 --> 02:15:52,561
Hello... is your name Jaggu?
1610
02:15:53,104 --> 02:15:54,689
How do you know?
1611
02:15:55,148 --> 02:15:58,818
She's called!
The girl from Delhi has called
1612
02:15:58,984 --> 02:16:00,779
Farah, it's Jaggu calling
1613
02:16:00,779 --> 02:16:04,365
Mr Sayyed, hurry,
it's Jaggu's call from India
1614
02:16:04,698 --> 02:16:07,202
On the double everyone!
1615
02:16:09,953 --> 02:16:15,668
Sarfaraz Yousuf calls us
from Lahore, every day at 9 am
1616
02:16:16,627 --> 02:16:20,715
And with impeccable politeness
asks just one question:
1617
02:16:21,131 --> 02:16:25,886
Was there a call for me
from India - from Jaggu?
1618
02:16:26,179 --> 02:16:29,181
We say "No",
and he disconnects
1619
02:16:29,515 --> 02:16:31,350
He's driven us crazy
1620
02:16:31,685 --> 02:16:34,270
Wait.
I'll connect you to him
1621
02:16:49,576 --> 02:16:50,662
Hello...
1622
02:16:51,620 --> 02:16:54,873
- Mr Sarfaraz Yousuf?
- Yes, speaking
1623
02:16:55,250 --> 02:16:59,086
- Where are you?
- In Lahore. Why?
1624
02:16:59,504 --> 02:17:04,467
- Where are you right now?
- At home. Why?
1625
02:17:05,050 --> 02:17:08,763
Is there a chair or
a bench nearby?
1626
02:17:09,180 --> 02:17:13,393
Please sit down.
You're about to get a jolt
1627
02:17:14,685 --> 02:17:16,646
Pardon me?
1628
02:17:18,272 --> 02:17:20,483
You have a call from Delhi
1629
02:17:26,406 --> 02:17:28,992
Please speak here
1630
02:17:29,533 --> 02:17:31,745
Hello...
1631
02:17:32,662 --> 02:17:35,372
Sarfaraz...
1632
02:17:38,752 --> 02:17:40,378
Jaggu...
1633
02:17:42,422 --> 02:17:43,923
Hello...
1634
02:17:45,132 --> 02:17:48,261
...hello Jaggu,
what's the matter?
1635
02:17:50,138 --> 02:17:52,557
Had you come to the
Marriage Registrar's office?
1636
02:17:52,557 --> 02:17:56,352
I had,
but you had left
1637
02:17:57,270 --> 02:17:58,979
Why didn't you call?
1638
02:17:59,314 --> 02:18:04,568
I got your letter.
You'd said, 'Don't contact me'
1639
02:18:05,528 --> 02:18:08,031
I knew you were
under family pressure
1640
02:18:08,281 --> 02:18:14,578
But deep down I knew,
one day you would contact me
1641
02:18:17,081 --> 02:18:20,417
What took you so long?
1642
02:18:21,377 --> 02:18:25,673
I am sorry.
I had your Wrong Number
1643
02:18:33,013 --> 02:18:37,519
Just got the right number
from a friend
1644
02:19:03,043 --> 02:19:04,754
Thank you son
1645
02:19:39,581 --> 02:19:41,373
Here, hold this
1646
02:20:05,647 --> 02:20:08,942
Tipsy! You're taking
batteries home?
1647
02:20:09,277 --> 02:20:13,948
- Don't get them there.
- So many! For what?
1648
02:20:14,281 --> 02:20:18,119
Back home, I'll listen
to the sounds I've recorded
1649
02:20:18,411 --> 02:20:19,703
What sounds?
1650
02:20:20,078 --> 02:20:24,416
Earth sounds -
crows, traffic honking
1651
02:20:24,626 --> 02:20:26,960
Up there, you'll listen
to cars honking?
1652
02:20:27,295 --> 02:20:32,174
Now and then -
when I miss this planet
1653
02:20:34,510 --> 02:20:38,013
Hey, wait!
There's one more bag
1654
02:20:38,181 --> 02:20:39,765
Forget it, Tipsy!
1655
02:20:39,765 --> 02:20:43,435
You kidding?
It's stuffed with batteries
1656
02:20:43,685 --> 02:20:46,064
Wait!
1657
02:20:49,108 --> 02:20:52,403
Driver... please stop!
1658
02:21:06,125 --> 02:21:09,879
Everyone on your planet
has stick-out ears?
1659
02:21:11,129 --> 02:21:14,257
And they roam around naked?
1660
02:21:15,760 --> 02:21:18,720
Why are you staring?
Something on my face?
1661
02:21:22,933 --> 02:21:28,355
I was in tenth grade,
when I wrote my first poem,
1662
02:21:30,023 --> 02:21:31,817
for Papa
1663
02:21:32,943 --> 02:21:38,281
They say my Mom I resemble.
I say possible...
1664
02:21:45,665 --> 02:21:49,418
Poetry means
sparse words, soaring thoughts
1665
02:21:52,046 --> 02:21:53,923
Pal, you're really cute
1666
02:21:55,717 --> 02:21:59,177
Here's to the
teetotaler called Tipsy
1667
02:22:00,095 --> 02:22:03,975
Who says
"What's in a name?"
1668
02:22:05,183 --> 02:22:09,188
No tape had sounds of
crows or traffic honking
1669
02:22:09,980 --> 02:22:13,066
Every tape had
just my voice
1670
02:22:20,782 --> 02:22:22,744
"I love you Jaggu"
1671
02:22:27,290 --> 02:22:28,915
Got it!
1672
02:22:34,297 --> 02:22:36,799
He sure made me run!
1673
02:22:40,052 --> 02:22:43,346
Tipsy, what's in these tapes?
1674
02:22:43,972 --> 02:22:47,018
Told you -
crows, traffic honking
1675
02:22:59,405 --> 02:23:03,784
Every night, when your planet
rises, I'll play these tapes
1676
02:23:05,077 --> 02:23:10,540
And wave at you.
Like this
1677
02:23:12,752 --> 02:23:16,588
Will you wave back...
now and then?
1678
02:23:18,632 --> 02:23:21,551
Haven't you recorded my voice?
1679
02:23:22,052 --> 02:23:24,513
Your voice?
1680
02:23:24,971 --> 02:23:29,102
I think I have...
that one poem you recited
1681
02:23:30,269 --> 02:23:32,939
One poem? That's it?
1682
02:23:36,024 --> 02:23:38,528
I'm not exactly
in love with you...
1683
02:23:38,986 --> 02:23:41,988
...to waste all my time
over you!
1684
02:24:00,967 --> 02:24:04,137
He didn't look back.
Not once
1685
02:24:04,427 --> 02:24:06,638
He was hiding his tears
1686
02:24:07,557 --> 02:24:12,435
One thing he learnt from us.
One thing he taught us
1687
02:24:12,936 --> 02:24:15,439
He learnt from us
how to lie...
1688
02:24:15,940 --> 02:24:20,068
...and taught us
how to love
1689
02:24:21,028 --> 02:24:23,989
He loved me enough
to let me go
1690
02:24:24,656 --> 02:24:29,953
He came here naked.
As children do
1691
02:24:31,164 --> 02:24:36,918
Asked a lot of questions.
As children do
1692
02:24:39,129 --> 02:24:42,216
And then one day...
1693
02:24:43,675 --> 02:24:46,762
...he went away
1694
02:24:47,596 --> 02:24:52,058
Four billion miles away
1695
02:24:53,394 --> 02:24:57,522
He left me two parting gifts
1696
02:24:59,399 --> 02:25:01,652
Sarfaraz
1697
02:25:02,444 --> 02:25:05,363
and Papa
1698
02:25:07,532 --> 02:25:14,665
Till I live... every night I'll look
at his planet and wave
1699
02:25:16,751 --> 02:25:21,504
I'm sure,
he'll do the same
1700
02:25:24,467 --> 02:25:27,469
I miss him
1701
02:26:06,299 --> 02:26:10,680
Fellow astronauts,
prepare to land on Earth
1702
02:26:10,680 --> 02:26:14,725
Remember the four
Earth Survival Commandments
1703
02:26:15,016 --> 02:26:17,811
One:
Do not roam around naked
1704
02:26:18,186 --> 02:26:23,566
Cuddling, making love etc.
must be done in closed rooms
1705
02:26:23,775 --> 02:26:27,655
But fighting, making war etc.
is allowed in the open
1706
02:26:28,030 --> 02:26:31,825
Two: Beware of language,
it's confusing
1707
02:26:31,825 --> 02:26:35,538
If Earthlings say,
'l love chicken and fish,'
1708
02:26:35,788 --> 02:26:39,333
it doesn't mean
they love animals,
1709
02:26:39,666 --> 02:26:44,046
but that animals are
on the lunch menu
1710
02:26:44,379 --> 02:26:49,135
The gap between thought and
speech is our topic of research
1711
02:26:49,760 --> 02:26:53,471
Three: On landing,
find dancing cars for clothes
1712
02:26:53,471 --> 02:27:00,646
Hide your remotes deep in your
underwear, safe from thieves
1713
02:27:00,979 --> 02:27:04,233
Four: the mother commandment
1714
02:27:04,233 --> 02:27:08,570
If anyone says:
I'll connect you to God,
1715
02:27:08,820 --> 02:27:13,242
dump the research, take a U-turn
and run for your life
1716
02:27:25,712 --> 02:27:28,424
Come, don't be afraid
1717
02:27:33,679 --> 02:27:36,349
What are you goggling at?
1718
02:27:37,140 --> 02:27:39,894
- I have a question.
- What?
1719
02:27:40,977 --> 02:27:45,691
On your last visit,
how often were you whacked?
1720
02:27:53,656 --> 02:27:56,326
- What's this?
- Self-defense!
1721
02:27:56,701 --> 02:27:58,788
Safety gadgets?
1722
02:27:59,120 --> 02:28:02,415
- Let's go.
- Not there! This way
1723
02:28:02,625 --> 02:28:03,792
Kaput!
124174
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
