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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,747 --> 00:00:15,784 I JUST CANNOT BELIEVE THAT THEY MOVED US TO THIS LOUSY TABLE. 2 00:00:15,817 --> 00:00:19,420 UGH. I CAN SEE THE ICE IN THE URINALS, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. 3 00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,322 OW! 4 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,224 THAT'S IT. I'M GONNA GO TALK TO THE GUY IN THE MONKEY SUIT 5 00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:25,393 AND FIND OUT WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON. 6 00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:28,496 WELL, EVERYBODY, I'D LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST. 7 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:29,931 UH, NO. NO, HARRY. 8 00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:31,633 LET ME. AHEM. 9 00:00:31,666 --> 00:00:34,368 TO SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN AN INSPIRATION TO US ALL 10 00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:39,373 AND A BEACON OF LIGHT IN A DARK AND OMINOUS FOG OF MEDIOCRITY. 11 00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:41,309 TO ME. 12 00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:42,744 LET ME SEE IT. 13 00:00:42,777 --> 00:00:44,779 I'VE BEEN IMMORTALIZED. 14 00:00:44,813 --> 00:00:46,347 AH. YEP. 15 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,215 IT'S NOT JUST ANYBODY 16 00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:49,618 WHO GETS TO BE IN THE PENDELTON YEARBOOK. 17 00:00:49,651 --> 00:00:52,420 ONLY THOSE PEOPLE WHO WORK AT OR ATTEND PENDELTON. 18 00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:57,692 OK, WELL, MAURICIO SAID HE CAN'T GIVE US OUR TABLE BACK. 19 00:00:57,726 --> 00:01:00,194 HE'S SAVING IT FOR SOMEONE IMPORTANT, SOME BIGWIG. 20 00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:02,463 A BIGGER WIG THAN I? 21 00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:04,365 WHOA! CHECK IT OUT, YOU GUYS. 22 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,034 IT'S MARK HAMILL. 23 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:15,009 I CAN'T BELIEVE WE HAD TO GIVE UP OUR TABLE FOR LUKE SKYWALKER. 24 00:01:15,043 --> 00:01:17,311 "OOH, LOOK AT ME. I'M SO IMPORTANT. 25 00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:20,148 MY FATHER'S DARTH VADER." 26 00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:23,051 HE IS?! 27 00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:24,919 I'M GONNA GO OVER THERE, AND I'M GONNA GET OUR TABLE BACK. 28 00:01:24,953 --> 00:01:27,088 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. REMEMBER, SALLY, 29 00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:30,358 HE'S A CELEBRITY AND THEREFORE OUR SUPERIOR. 30 00:01:32,794 --> 00:01:34,262 UH, YOU'RE MARK HAMILL, RIGHT? 31 00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:35,129 YES. 32 00:01:35,163 --> 00:01:36,865 OK, WELL, LOOK, I HATE TO DO THIS, BUT-- 33 00:01:36,898 --> 00:01:39,701 OH, NO PROBLEM AT ALL. IT'S OK. 34 00:01:39,734 --> 00:01:40,769 HERE WE GO. 35 00:01:40,802 --> 00:01:43,071 UM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 36 00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:44,973 SIGNING MY NAME. 37 00:01:45,006 --> 00:01:47,075 I DON'T NEED PROOF, PAL! 38 00:01:47,108 --> 00:01:48,743 I KNOW IT'S YOU! 39 00:01:48,777 --> 00:01:50,311 MOVE OVER, SWEETIE. 40 00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:53,815 GET UP! 41 00:01:53,848 --> 00:01:56,184 ALL RIGHT, HERE'S WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN, OK? 42 00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:58,619 MY FAMILY IS GONNA SIT HERE, 43 00:01:58,653 --> 00:02:01,022 AND YOU GUYS ARE GONNA SIT OVER THERE. 44 00:02:01,055 --> 00:02:04,225 [IMITATING LIGHT SABERS] 45 00:02:06,761 --> 00:02:07,962 HEY, HOW ABOUT THIS? 46 00:02:07,996 --> 00:02:09,931 I'LL GIVE YOU A COPY OF MY NEW BOOK, AND WE'LL CALL IT EVEN. 47 00:02:09,964 --> 00:02:10,832 OK, HOW ABOUT THIS? 48 00:02:10,865 --> 00:02:13,634 WHY DON'T YOU BOOK OVER TO THAT TABLE? 49 00:02:13,668 --> 00:02:16,570 NO, I'M SORRY. I'M NOT MOVING ANYWHERE. 50 00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:18,372 I DISAGREE. 51 00:02:18,406 --> 00:02:19,974 WHAT?! 52 00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:27,849 HE SEEMS VERY DOWN-TO-EARTH. 53 00:02:30,218 --> 00:02:31,686 OOH! 54 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,254 SCRAPPY. 55 00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:35,757 MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU, MY DEAR. 56 00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:10,691 HEY, GUYS! 57 00:03:10,725 --> 00:03:12,426 GUESS WHO'S ON THE FRONT PAGE. 58 00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:14,262 TA-DA! SALLY SOLOMON. 59 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:15,930 WHAT? 60 00:03:15,964 --> 00:03:18,767 "LOCAL WOMAN SALLY SOLOMON PUT HER FOOT DOWN 61 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,068 "FOR THE COMMON MAN LAST NIGHT, 62 00:03:20,101 --> 00:03:21,635 "SQUARE ON THE CHEST OF... 63 00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:24,538 STAR WARS: SPECIAL EDITION STAR, MARK HAMILL." 64 00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:26,274 OH, SALLY, THIS IS HUGE. 65 00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:28,342 "SAID SOLOMON: JUST BECAUSE I'M A NOBODY 66 00:03:28,376 --> 00:03:30,444 DOESN'T MEAN I'M NOT SOMEBODY." 67 00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:32,646 WOW. THAT SOUNDS LIKE THEY'RE MAKING YOU OUT 68 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:33,915 TO BE SOME KIND OF HERO OR SOMETHING. 69 00:03:33,948 --> 00:03:38,319 THAT'S NICE SALLY. 70 00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:40,955 IT'S NOT AS NICE AS BEING PUBLISHED IN THE YEARBOOK. 71 00:03:43,124 --> 00:03:45,626 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 72 00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:46,928 HELLO? 73 00:03:46,961 --> 00:03:48,763 YEAH, SHE DOES. 74 00:03:48,797 --> 00:03:49,998 WHAT, TODAY? 75 00:03:50,031 --> 00:03:51,499 YEAH, YEAH. HOLD ON. I'LL ASK HER. 76 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:54,135 UH, SALLY, THEY WANT YOU TO BE ON GOOD AFTERNOON, RUTHERFORD. 77 00:03:58,807 --> 00:04:02,944 THAT'S MY SECOND-FAVORITE SHOW. 78 00:04:02,977 --> 00:04:04,145 WHAT'S YOUR FIRST FAVORITE? 79 00:04:04,178 --> 00:04:07,281 GOOD MORNING, RUTHERFORD. 80 00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:09,417 WHY ARE THEY MAKING SUCH A BIG DEAL OUT OF THIS THING? 81 00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:10,684 THIS IS A JOKE, RIGHT? 82 00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:11,920 IT'S NOT A JOKE AT ALL. 83 00:04:11,953 --> 00:04:13,154 WE'RE SUPERIOR BEINGS. 84 00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:15,656 THE SPOTLIGHT WAS BOUND TO FIND US SOONER OR LATER. 85 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,691 SHE'LL BE THERE. 86 00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:19,961 IN FACT, THEY'LL PROBABLY WANT TO INTERVIEW ALL OF US. 87 00:04:19,994 --> 00:04:22,831 YEAH. THEY'LL PROBABLY WANT THE PERSPECTIVE OF THE GUY 88 00:04:22,864 --> 00:04:26,434 WHO SPENT THE WHOLE FIGHT HIDING IN THE LADIES' ROOM. 89 00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:29,203 I WAS NOT HIDING! 90 00:04:29,237 --> 00:04:31,439 I WAS FRESHENING UP. 91 00:04:35,009 --> 00:04:37,411 WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL MEET SALLY SOLOMON, 92 00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:39,313 RUTHERFORD'S NEWEST HERO. 93 00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:40,614 GOOD AFTERNOON, RUTHERFORD. 94 00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:42,917 [APPLAUSE] 95 00:04:42,951 --> 00:04:43,952 CLEAR! 96 00:04:48,089 --> 00:04:48,923 HI. 97 00:04:48,957 --> 00:04:50,191 HEY. 98 00:04:50,224 --> 00:04:51,492 I'M A BIG FAN. 99 00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:52,593 OH. 100 00:05:01,903 --> 00:05:04,405 NOW, IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN GET YOU--SODA, WATER, COFFEE? 101 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:05,606 OH, NO. I CAN GET IT. THANKS. 102 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:06,674 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? ENOUGH ALREADY. 103 00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,609 OH, SALLY. THERE YOU ARE. 104 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,378 UH, DICK, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? 105 00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:13,214 PUTTING ON MY OWN MAKEUP, FOR STARTERS. 106 00:05:13,247 --> 00:05:14,415 WHERE WILL I BE SITTING? 107 00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:15,283 WHO ARE YOU? 108 00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:16,350 OH, I'M DICK SOLOMON. 109 00:05:16,384 --> 00:05:18,853 PERHAPS YOU'VE READ MY BOOK. 110 00:05:18,887 --> 00:05:20,621 WHY DON'T YOU GO SIT OVER THERE ON THAT COUCH 111 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,223 UNDERNEATH THE AIR CONDITIONER? 112 00:05:22,256 --> 00:05:25,226 IS THAT WHERE YOU DO EMOTIONAL FAMILY-REACTION SHOTS? 113 00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:27,361 UH, SURE. 114 00:05:30,865 --> 00:05:34,535 SALLY SOLOMON, YOU TOOK YOUR TABLE BACK. 115 00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:36,637 WELL, JUST 'CAUSE THE GUY'S FAMOUS 116 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:40,308 DOESN'T MEAN HE CAN WALK ON PEOPLE. 117 00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:42,543 YAY! YAY! YAY! 118 00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:45,113 Woman: WE LOVE YOU, SALLY! 119 00:05:45,146 --> 00:05:46,347 LET'S GO TO THE PHONES. 120 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:49,383 YOU'RE ON THE AIR WITH SALLY SOLOMON. 121 00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:51,052 Male caller: UH, YEAH, SALLY, 122 00:05:51,085 --> 00:05:53,687 I JUST WANNA SAY, "THE HECK WITH MARK HAMILL." 123 00:05:53,721 --> 00:05:57,058 YOU SHOULD BE IN THE NEXT STAR TREK MOVIE! 124 00:05:57,091 --> 00:06:00,661 YAY! YAY! YAY! 125 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,264 NO, I'M JUST A HOMEMAKER. 126 00:06:03,297 --> 00:06:04,632 Caller: SHOOT, JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE A NOBODY 127 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:07,135 DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE NOT A SOMEBODY! 128 00:06:07,168 --> 00:06:10,704 YAY! YAY! YAY! 129 00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:12,240 WOW. 130 00:06:12,273 --> 00:06:14,475 OK. LET'S TAKE ANOTHER CALLER. 131 00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:15,843 OH, GO AHEAD. 132 00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,745 Dick with strange accent: OH, MY GOODNESS, YES. 133 00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:20,648 I AM CONGRATULATING MISS SALLY SOLOMON, 134 00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:23,884 BUT I AM WONDERING IF SHE COULD SPEAK A BIT 135 00:06:23,918 --> 00:06:27,455 ABOUT THE BRAVE, AND SOME MIGHT SAY, GORGEOUS PERSON 136 00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:31,059 WHO MADE THE RESERVATION. 137 00:06:34,362 --> 00:06:35,863 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 138 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,570 OH, HI, DICK. I SAW THE SHOW. 139 00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:44,005 SALLY WAS WONDERFUL. 140 00:06:44,038 --> 00:06:45,739 SHE HAS SUCH A PRESENCE. 141 00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:47,841 OH. 142 00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:50,111 YEAH. THAT. 143 00:06:50,144 --> 00:06:52,981 IT'S SO EXCITING TO SEE SOMEBODY YOU KNOW ON TV. 144 00:06:53,014 --> 00:06:55,716 YEAH, JERRY SPRINGER HAD MY UNCLE JENNIFER ON ONCE. 145 00:07:00,221 --> 00:07:03,191 YOU KNOW, I GUESS IT'S GREAT BEING ON TELEVISION 146 00:07:03,224 --> 00:07:05,793 IF YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO ALWAYS HAS TO BE LOOKED AT. 147 00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:08,162 YOU KNOW, ONE OF THOSE PATHETIC TYPES 148 00:07:08,196 --> 00:07:11,732 THAT ALWAYS NEEDS TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. 149 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:14,902 HELLO! I'M SPEAKING OVER HERE! 150 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,137 I'M SORRY. DID YOU SAY SOMETHING? 151 00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:18,639 ALL I'M SAYING IS THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG IN THIS COUNTRY 152 00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:21,142 WHEN PEOPLE ARE FAWNED OVER FOR ATTACKING MOVIE STARS 153 00:07:21,175 --> 00:07:25,779 WHILE BRILLIANT PHYSICS PROFESSORS TOIL ON IN OBSCURITY. 154 00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:28,082 ISN'T THAT WHAT THE NOBEL PRIZE IS FOR? 155 00:07:28,116 --> 00:07:29,283 OH, PLEASE. 156 00:07:29,317 --> 00:07:33,854 DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THAT VACUOUS POPULARITY CONTEST. 157 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:36,124 OH, REMEMBER WHAT ANDY WARHOL SAID. 158 00:07:36,157 --> 00:07:38,359 WHAT, "I BET IF I PAINT THIS CAN OF SOUP, 159 00:07:38,392 --> 00:07:41,629 SOME SUCKER WILL PAY A MILLION DOLLARS FOR IT"? 160 00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:45,033 AFTER THAT. THE THING ABOUT EVERYBODY BEING FAMOUS FOR 15 MINUTES. 161 00:07:45,066 --> 00:07:45,866 15 MINUTES? 162 00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:47,768 WELL THIS IS SALLYS' FIFTEEN MINUTES. 163 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,137 LET HER ENJOY THEM. 164 00:07:49,170 --> 00:07:52,240 15 MINUTES? 165 00:07:52,273 --> 00:07:54,375 FAME IS SO FLEETING. 166 00:07:54,408 --> 00:07:56,144 [CHUCKLES] 167 00:07:59,113 --> 00:08:01,215 POOR SALLY. 168 00:08:01,249 --> 00:08:03,084 HA HA HA HA! 169 00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:09,123 HEY, SOLOMON. THAT LADY WHO DECKED LUKE SKYWALKER 170 00:08:09,157 --> 00:08:12,693 HAS THE SAME LAST NAME AS YOU--SOLOMON. 171 00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,028 YEAH, YEAH. SHE'S MY AUNT. 172 00:08:14,062 --> 00:08:15,029 NO WAY. 173 00:08:15,063 --> 00:08:16,497 ACTUALLY, SHE IS. 174 00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:17,731 YOU ARE SUCH A LIAR! 175 00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:18,499 LET'S GET HIM! 176 00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:19,933 WAIT! WAIT! 177 00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:25,573 YES, I WILL TELL HER. 178 00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:27,841 YEAH, OK, I'LL TELL HER. 179 00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:30,278 TOMMY, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO CALL YOU FOR 2 HOURS. 180 00:08:30,311 --> 00:08:32,113 THE PHONE'S BEEN RINGING OFF THE HOOK. 181 00:08:32,146 --> 00:08:33,881 EVERYBODY WANTS TO TALK TO SALLY. 182 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:37,218 THAT LAST GUY WAS THE MANAGER OF THE SCONE ZONE. 183 00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:39,387 THEY WANT TO NAME A LATTE AFTER HER. 184 00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:42,790 OH. THOSE POOR MISGUIDED FOOLS. 185 00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:44,758 EVEN WITH A GENEROUS GRACE PERIOD, 186 00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:47,061 HER 15 MINUTES WERE OVER HOURS AGO. 187 00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,331 WHAT A GREAT DAY. 188 00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:52,800 HARRY, COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR AND GRAB ME A MINERAL WATER? 189 00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,402 OK, SALLY. 190 00:08:54,435 --> 00:08:55,769 SALLY, WHEN'S DINNER? 191 00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:57,938 OH, I ATE. 192 00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:59,607 WHERE? MAURICIO'S. 193 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:00,674 MAURICIO'S? 194 00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:02,210 YEAH. HE CALLED THE STATION RIGHT AFTER THE SHOW. 195 00:09:02,243 --> 00:09:04,612 HE SAID HE FELT AWFUL ABOUT HOW I WAS TREATED THERE. 196 00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:06,247 GUESS WHICH TABLE HE GAVE ME. 197 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,382 NO. YES. 198 00:09:08,416 --> 00:09:09,483 WHILE YOU WERE WITH MAURICIO, 199 00:09:09,517 --> 00:09:11,752 I'VE BEEN ACTING LIKE YOUR STUPID SECRETARY. 200 00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:13,854 I'LL TAKE THOSE... 'CAUSE FROM NOW ON, 201 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:17,391 I'M SALLY'S STUPID SECRETARY. 202 00:09:17,425 --> 00:09:20,461 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 203 00:09:20,494 --> 00:09:21,829 HELLO? 204 00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:23,731 MM-HMM. 205 00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,933 WELL, IT'S KIND OF SHORT NOTICE. 206 00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:29,370 WELL, OK. WE'LL EXPECT YOU TO SEND A TOWN CAR. 207 00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:31,239 OOH! WITH A DRIVER. 208 00:09:31,272 --> 00:09:32,773 OK. 209 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:33,974 THIS IS BIG. 210 00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:36,977 SALLY, YOU ARE THROWING OUT THE FIRST PITCH 211 00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:41,649 AT THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME OF THE RUTHERFORD SENIOR CITIZENS' 212 00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:47,121 HIGH ARC, MODIFIED SLOW-PITCH WORLD SERIES. 213 00:09:47,155 --> 00:09:49,557 I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED. 214 00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:50,958 I'LL LAY OUT YOUR GOWN. 215 00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:52,726 JUST A MINUTE, MISSY. 216 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,229 I THINK YOU'RE FORGETTING SOMETHING-- OUR DINNER. 217 00:09:55,263 --> 00:09:57,898 TONIGHT, I'D LIKE YOU TO MAKE SOMETHING STROGANOFFY. 218 00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,100 I'M SORRY, BUT DUE TO A PRIOR COMMITMENT, 219 00:10:00,134 --> 00:10:01,101 MISS SOLOMON'S DINNER-MAKING 220 00:10:01,135 --> 00:10:02,536 WILL HAVE TO BE RESCHEDULED. 221 00:10:02,570 --> 00:10:03,971 ENOUGH! 222 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,139 LIEUTENANT, AS OF RIGHT NOW, 223 00:10:05,173 --> 00:10:07,040 I ORDER YOU TO BE NO LONGER FAMOUS. 224 00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:07,875 YOU CAN'T ORDER THAT. 225 00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:09,076 THINK OF THE MISSION. 226 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,844 THIS IS BIGGER THAN THE MISSION. 227 00:10:10,878 --> 00:10:13,481 I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS MANTLE. 228 00:10:13,514 --> 00:10:16,650 THE PEOPLE OF RUTHERFORD NEED A SALLY SOLOMON. 229 00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:18,386 AND IT JUST SO HAPPENS... 230 00:10:18,419 --> 00:10:21,255 I AM SALLY SOLOMON. 231 00:10:21,289 --> 00:10:24,192 SO I WILL BE THEIR SALLY SOLOMON. 232 00:10:24,225 --> 00:10:26,394 I CAN DO NO LESS. 233 00:10:26,427 --> 00:10:28,296 PLAY BALL! 234 00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:41,375 HI, HI, HI, HI. MORE FLOWERS FOR SALLY. 235 00:10:41,409 --> 00:10:43,977 GLADIOLAS, VERY NICE. 236 00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:45,813 HELLO, DOOBIE. 237 00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:54,522 BE A LOVE AND PUT THEM WITH THE OTHERS, WOULD YOU? 238 00:10:54,555 --> 00:10:57,124 HI, BOYS. SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING. 239 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,427 NOW, SALLY, THEY JUST WANT TO DO AN INTERVIEW 240 00:10:59,460 --> 00:11:02,396 AND POP A FEW PHOTOS OF YOU JUST BEING YOURSELF. 241 00:11:02,430 --> 00:11:03,397 WELL, THAT'S FINE. 242 00:11:03,431 --> 00:11:05,299 WHY DON'T I JUST WALK OVER TO MY FAVORITE CHAIR 243 00:11:05,333 --> 00:11:07,535 AND RELAX LIKE I ALWAYS DO? 244 00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:19,447 I DID SOME MODELING IN MY DAY. 245 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:22,316 OF COURSE, I HAD A REALLY BAD EXPERIENCE, THOUGH. 246 00:11:22,350 --> 00:11:24,585 THE RUNWAY STOPPED, AND I DIDN'T. 247 00:11:26,420 --> 00:11:27,221 OUT, OUT, OUT. 248 00:11:27,255 --> 00:11:28,922 WHY DO I HAVE TO STAY IN THE KITCHEN? 249 00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:30,891 THE RUTHERFORD BUGLE IS HAVING A PHOTO SHOOT 250 00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:33,294 TO CAPTURE THE PRIVATE SIDE OF SALLY SOLOMON, 251 00:11:33,327 --> 00:11:37,298 AND WE NEED TO KEEP THE PUBLIC OUT OF THE WAY. 252 00:11:37,331 --> 00:11:38,632 BUT IT'S MY LIVING ROOM. 253 00:11:38,666 --> 00:11:42,102 DICK, WE'RE TRYING TO CREATE AN ATMOSPHERE HERE. 254 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:47,007 YOU KNOW, SOMETHING WITH A LITTLE LESS YOU. 255 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,510 KEEP MOVING, BOYS! WE'RE LOSING LIGHT! 256 00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:51,645 DON'T THEY KNOW THAT I'M IN THE YEARBOOK? 257 00:11:51,679 --> 00:11:54,648 BOY, IS THIS SUCKING! 258 00:11:54,682 --> 00:11:59,653 WOULD YOU PLEASE KEEP IT DOWN, PEOPLE? 259 00:11:59,687 --> 00:12:01,289 PEOPLE! 260 00:12:01,322 --> 00:12:02,990 HE CALLED US PEOPLE! 261 00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:06,727 NO ONE CALLS US PEOPLE! 262 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,962 THEN HE SCREAMED LIKE A LITTLE GIRL. 263 00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:10,097 HA HA HA! 264 00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,231 THAT'S GOOD. I LOVE THAT. 265 00:12:11,265 --> 00:12:13,467 I'VE GOT A TERRIFIC IDEA FOR A PHOTO, SALLY. 266 00:12:13,501 --> 00:12:15,235 WHY DON'T YOU SHOW THEM HOW MANY LITTLE DEBBIES 267 00:12:15,269 --> 00:12:16,870 YOU CAN SHOVE INTO YOUR MOUTH AT ONE TIME? 268 00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:18,539 OOH! 269 00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:20,608 YEAH, YEAH, WHY DON'T YOU LET THEM TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU 270 00:12:20,641 --> 00:12:22,276 IN THE KITCHEN BURNING OUR DINNER? 271 00:12:22,310 --> 00:12:23,210 NO. 272 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,612 WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A PICTURE OF HER 273 00:12:24,645 --> 00:12:25,679 TRYING TO FIND A BOYFRIEND? 274 00:12:25,713 --> 00:12:30,250 ALTHOUGH IT'D HAVE TO BE A LONG EXPOSURE. 275 00:12:30,284 --> 00:12:32,320 LIES! LIES! 276 00:12:32,353 --> 00:12:34,455 THEY'RE ALL LIES! 277 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,262 HEY, SORRY ABOUT OUR LITTLE MISUNDERSTANDING 278 00:12:42,296 --> 00:12:43,431 THE OTHER DAY, SOLOMON. 279 00:12:43,464 --> 00:12:45,098 I GUESS SHE REALLY IS YOUR AUNT. 280 00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:47,501 OH. YEAH. YEAH, WHATEVER. 281 00:12:47,535 --> 00:12:50,438 YEAH, MUST BE PRETTY COOL LIVING WITH A CELEBRITY. 282 00:12:50,471 --> 00:12:51,572 YOU WANNA COME UNDER THE BLEACHERS 283 00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:53,841 AND THROW STUFF AT THE SOCCER TEAM? 284 00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:56,544 UH, I HAVE A CLASS RIGHT NOW, ACTUALLY. 285 00:12:56,577 --> 00:12:58,479 OH. SO NOW YOUR AUNT'S ON TV, 286 00:12:58,512 --> 00:13:00,581 AND SUDDENLY YOU'RE TOO COOL TO HANG OUT WITH US? 287 00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:01,515 LET'S GET HIM! 288 00:13:01,549 --> 00:13:02,950 WAIT, GUYS! 289 00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:09,222 FOR GOD'S SAKES, PEPPER, GET OUT! 290 00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:13,260 LOOK. IT'S THAT SLUTTY LITTLE BEAGLE FROM NEXT DOOR. 291 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:23,136 CAREFUL. DON'T LET HIM IN! 292 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:24,672 RUN ALONG, PEPPER. 293 00:13:28,376 --> 00:13:31,278 I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET HIM OUT FOR AN HOUR. 294 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:35,549 THAT MUST BE AN AWFULLY LONG TIME IN MARY WORLD... 295 00:13:35,583 --> 00:13:39,653 WHERE 15 MINUTES LASTS FOR 5 DAYS! 296 00:13:39,687 --> 00:13:41,154 IS THIS ABOUT SALLY? 297 00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:44,157 [CRYING] YES. 298 00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:45,426 DO YOU THINK YOU COULD GET HER TO SPEAK 299 00:13:45,459 --> 00:13:46,860 AT MY ROTARY LUNCHEON NEXT WEEK? 300 00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:49,129 HARRY WON'T RETURN MY CALLS. 301 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,731 OH, MARY, YOU, TOO? 302 00:13:50,764 --> 00:13:54,768 OH, DICK, WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET ABOUT THIS? WHAT DO YOU WANT? 303 00:13:54,802 --> 00:13:57,237 FAME! I WANT TO LIVE FOREVER! 304 00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:59,573 LIGHT UP THE SKY LIKE A FLAME! FAME! 305 00:14:04,512 --> 00:14:06,480 DON'T BLAME SALLY. 306 00:14:06,514 --> 00:14:10,283 SHE PUNCHED OUT A STAR, AND SOME GLITTER STUCK TO HER FIST. 307 00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:12,319 IT COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO ANYBODY IN THE RESTAURANT. 308 00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:16,557 I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT. 309 00:14:16,590 --> 00:14:17,691 OH, MY GOD. 310 00:14:17,725 --> 00:14:19,159 YOU'RE RIGHT! 311 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:22,195 OH, MARY! 312 00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:24,665 HOW CAN I REPAY YOU? 313 00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,133 GLAD I COULD HELP. 314 00:14:28,469 --> 00:14:30,871 NO! 315 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:40,013 [DOOR CLOSES] 316 00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:43,517 MARK HAMILL! 317 00:14:43,551 --> 00:14:45,619 YES. 318 00:14:45,653 --> 00:14:47,020 I'M SORRY, SIR. THERE IS A LINE. 319 00:14:47,054 --> 00:14:48,155 AND YOU HAVE CROSSED IT. 320 00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:49,890 YOU'RE SITTING AT MY TABLE. 321 00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:51,024 WHAT? 322 00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:53,193 PREPARE TO BE HEAVED INTO NONFICTION. 323 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,862 HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. SECURITY. 324 00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:57,264 UH, WE DON'T HAVE SECURITY. 325 00:14:57,297 --> 00:15:01,869 NOT SO TOUGH WITHOUT CHEWBACON AROUND, ARE WE? 326 00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:03,036 I THINK I CAN TAKE HIM. 327 00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:04,104 THANKS. 328 00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:06,607 YOU KNOW, JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE SOMEBODY 329 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,577 DOESN'T MEAN THAT I'M NOT... SOMEBODY ELSE! 330 00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:10,878 YOU HEAR ME?! 331 00:15:15,716 --> 00:15:19,086 WELL...NOW I SEE HOW FAME WORKS. 332 00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:21,755 WHEN A WOMAN STANDS UP TO A CELEBRITY, SHE'S A HERO, 333 00:15:21,789 --> 00:15:23,624 BUT WHEN A MAN 3 TIMES HIS SIZE 334 00:15:23,657 --> 00:15:25,626 PICKS A FIGHT WITH HIM FOR NO APPARENT REASON, 335 00:15:25,659 --> 00:15:29,096 SUDDENLY, HE'S THE BAD GUY! 336 00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:33,433 IT'S JUST SO UNFAIR! 337 00:15:33,467 --> 00:15:36,970 UM, TOMMY, MAYBE WE SHOULD, UH, GET OUT OF HERE. 338 00:15:37,004 --> 00:15:38,839 MAYBE GO GRAB A RUSTY BURGER OR SOMETHING. 339 00:15:38,872 --> 00:15:40,774 OH, I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE SEEN WITH ME 340 00:15:40,808 --> 00:15:43,777 'CAUSE SALLY WAS SO FAMOUS. 341 00:15:43,811 --> 00:15:48,782 LET IT GO, TOMMY. SALLY IS SO OVER. 342 00:15:48,816 --> 00:15:50,050 SHE IS? SHE IS? 343 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:52,586 YEAH. NOW EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT THAT WOMAN IN EAST RUTHERFORD 344 00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:54,522 WHO'S LIVING ON NOTHING BUT SPICES. 345 00:15:54,555 --> 00:15:55,756 LIKE PAPRIKA? 346 00:15:55,789 --> 00:15:56,323 PROBABLY. 347 00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:58,458 UGH. 348 00:15:58,492 --> 00:15:59,527 HIDE THE PAPER, HIDE THE PAPER. 349 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:00,160 WHY? 350 00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:01,762 BECAUSE SALLY'S NOT IN IT. 351 00:16:07,635 --> 00:16:12,205 ANY PHONE CALLS? 352 00:16:12,239 --> 00:16:13,941 NO. 353 00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:17,511 THANK GOD. PEACE AND QUIET. PEACE AND QUIET. 354 00:16:17,545 --> 00:16:20,180 UH, HARRY, WHERE ARE THE FRESH FLOWERS THAT COME EVERY MORNING? 355 00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:21,081 THE ONES IN THERE ARE WILTED. 356 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:25,285 THEY DID COME THIS MORNING, DIDN'T THEY? 357 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,688 YES. 358 00:16:27,721 --> 00:16:30,390 THEY CAME. BUT THEY WERE MUMS. 359 00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:34,094 AND I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE MUMS, AND SO I THREW THEM OUT. 360 00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:38,265 AND THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED. 361 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:40,568 YOU ARE GOOD TO ME. 362 00:16:40,601 --> 00:16:42,703 AND NOW I MUST REST. 363 00:16:45,806 --> 00:16:47,541 AND TO THINK THAT I WANTED FAME. 364 00:16:47,575 --> 00:16:49,309 THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. 365 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,878 IT'S SO SAD. 366 00:16:50,911 --> 00:16:52,479 SHE WAS SO BIG. 367 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:55,048 SHE STILL IS BIG! 368 00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:59,787 IT'S THE PLANET THAT GOT SMALL! 369 00:16:59,820 --> 00:17:02,590 NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME... 370 00:17:02,623 --> 00:17:05,025 MADAM NEEDS ME. 371 00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:17,738 [IMITATING LASER GUN] 372 00:17:17,771 --> 00:17:20,808 AAH! 373 00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:26,580 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 374 00:17:26,614 --> 00:17:27,447 YES? 375 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:28,582 Harry: HOUSEKEEPING. 376 00:17:28,616 --> 00:17:29,883 OH, COME ON IN. 377 00:17:29,917 --> 00:17:32,185 MR. HAMILL, I WILL NOT LIE TO YOU. 378 00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:35,155 I AM NOT FROM HOUSEKEEPING. 379 00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:38,091 I'M HERE BECAUSE MY SISTER... 380 00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:40,761 [CRYING] WHO IS YOUR BIGGEST FAN IN THE WORLD, 381 00:17:40,794 --> 00:17:46,133 HAS ONLY 72 HOURS TO LIVE, MR. HAMILL! 382 00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:47,300 I'M SO SORRY. 383 00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:49,169 I WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING I COULD DO. 384 00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:51,772 ACTUALLY, THERE IS. 385 00:17:51,805 --> 00:17:53,874 COME WITH ME TO OLD DOWNTOWN RUTHERFORD, 386 00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:56,476 WHERE YOU WILL BE SEEN WITH HER IN A CROWDED RESTAURANT. 387 00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,912 SHE THEN GETS TO PUMMEL YOU AND BECOME A MEDIA SWEETHEART. 388 00:17:58,946 --> 00:18:01,114 I'LL GO GET YOUR BAGS. 389 00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:05,052 OH, THIS WILL BE NICE. YOU CAN WEAR THIS. 390 00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:06,820 AAH! 391 00:18:09,857 --> 00:18:12,559 COULD YOU GET SOMEBODY FROM SECURITY UP RIGHT AWAY? 392 00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,094 WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE ISN'T ANY? 393 00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:16,764 THE FREAKIN' EWOKS AT THE SHERATON HAD SECURITY! 394 00:18:16,797 --> 00:18:18,832 COME ON! 395 00:18:18,866 --> 00:18:20,100 MR. HAMILL! 396 00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:21,969 HE'S GETTING OUT! 397 00:18:22,002 --> 00:18:23,570 MR. HAMILL! 398 00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:24,471 HELP! 399 00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:29,242 Man on TV: WE LOVE YOU, SALLY! 400 00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:30,343 Second man: JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE A NOBODY 401 00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:33,046 DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE NOT SOMEBODY. 402 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:36,950 [VIDEOTAPE REWINDS] 403 00:18:36,984 --> 00:18:38,118 WE LOVE YOU, SALLY! 404 00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:39,386 JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE A NOBODY 405 00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:43,190 DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE NOT SOMEBODY. 406 00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:44,457 SALLY. 407 00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:46,193 THEY DID LOVE ME, DIDN'T THEY? 408 00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:47,861 WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP? 409 00:18:47,895 --> 00:18:49,429 THE PHONE MIGHT RING. 410 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,431 WELL--BUT IT'S 4:00 IN THE MORNING. 411 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:54,067 IT'S ONLY 1:00 ON THE COAST. 412 00:18:54,101 --> 00:18:55,268 SALLY... 413 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:58,205 I KNOW THIS MUST BE VERY PAINFUL. 414 00:18:58,238 --> 00:18:59,506 HOW COULD YOU KNOW? 415 00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:01,541 YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT I HAD. 416 00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:03,143 I MEAN, SURE, YOU'RE THE HIGH COMMANDER 417 00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:05,612 OF AN INTERGALACTIC EXPLORATORY MISSION. 418 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,247 BUT ME? 419 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,616 I WAS A STAR. 420 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:12,119 AT LEAST YOU GOT TO BE FAMOUS FOR A LITTLE WHILE. 421 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,687 IT WAS GOOD WHILE IT LASTED. 422 00:19:13,721 --> 00:19:15,455 HOW CAN I GO ON? 423 00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:18,926 I'M NOT FAMOUS ANYMORE. I'M NOT SPECIAL. 424 00:19:18,959 --> 00:19:19,760 I'M NOBODY! 425 00:19:19,793 --> 00:19:21,895 YOU'RE NOT NOBODY! 426 00:19:21,929 --> 00:19:25,332 YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE FAMOUS TO BE SPECIAL. 427 00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:27,200 THE WORLD DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT NINA 428 00:19:27,234 --> 00:19:30,337 AND HOW SHE GOES TO THE OLD FOLKS HOME EVERY WEDNESDAY 429 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,639 AND SINGS THEM HAPPY SONGS, 430 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,207 DESPITE HER BUSY SCHEDULE 431 00:19:34,241 --> 00:19:36,910 AND THEIR CONSTANT REQUESTS THAT SHE GO AWAY. 432 00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:41,081 THAT'S SPECIAL. 433 00:19:41,114 --> 00:19:43,616 OFFICER DON SOMETIMES TAKES MONEY OUT OF HIS OWN POCKET 434 00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:46,119 AND FEEDS EXPIRED PARKING METERS. 435 00:19:46,153 --> 00:19:47,988 TO SAVE PEOPLE FROM GETTING TICKETS? 436 00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:51,458 NO. HE JUST HATES DOING THE PAPERWORK. 437 00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:54,261 THAT'S STILL SPECIAL. 438 00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:56,964 I KNOW SOMEONE ELSE WHO'S SPECIAL. 439 00:19:56,997 --> 00:20:00,934 SOMEONE WHO HELPED TO RESCUE ME FROM AN INVISIBLE BOX 440 00:20:00,968 --> 00:20:04,604 AND TOOK CARE OF A HUMAN BABY AS THOUGH IT WERE HER VERY OWN. 441 00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:05,472 THAT WASN'T SOMEONE ELSE. 442 00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:07,540 THAT WAS ME, YOU IDIOT! 443 00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:08,541 YOU'RE THE IDIOT! 444 00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:11,078 THAT'S MY WHOLE POINT. THAT'S WHY YOU'RE SPECIAL! 445 00:20:16,016 --> 00:20:21,654 I GUESS I AM. SPECIAL, I MEAN. NOT AN IDIOT. 446 00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:23,723 THANK YOU, COMMANDER. 447 00:20:23,757 --> 00:20:24,925 GOOD NIGHT, LIEUTENANT. 448 00:20:24,958 --> 00:20:26,393 GOOD NIGHT. 449 00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:32,332 HARRY, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? 450 00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:34,334 CHASIN' THE DREAM, SALLY. 451 00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:36,336 CHASIN' THE DREAM. 452 00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:38,772 LET IT GO, HARRY. 453 00:20:38,806 --> 00:20:42,509 IT'S OVER. 454 00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:45,412 OH, NO. 455 00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:47,881 IT'S NOT OVER. 456 00:20:47,915 --> 00:20:51,151 IT'S FAR FROM OVER. 457 00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:58,992 "IN AN OBVIOUS AND DESPERATE ATTEMPT 458 00:20:59,026 --> 00:21:02,229 "TO CASH IN ON MARK HAMILL'S INTERSTELLAR SUCCESS, 459 00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:03,596 "A SOURCE CLOSE TO SALLY SOLOMON 460 00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:05,732 "LAST NIGHT CALLED THE BUGLE 461 00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:08,435 "TO TELL ALL OF RUTHERFORD THAT SALLY SOLOMON 462 00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:13,340 IS IN FACT AN ALIEN FROM A DISTANT GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY." 463 00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:19,546 WE'RE BACK ON TOP, SALLY! 464 00:21:19,579 --> 00:21:22,115 WE'RE BACK ON TOP! 465 00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:29,122 OH, TOMMY, DID YOU SHOW YOUR DAD 466 00:21:29,156 --> 00:21:31,324 WHAT I WROTE IN YOUR YEARBOOK? 467 00:21:34,061 --> 00:21:35,195 TOMMY HAS A YEARBOOK? 468 00:21:35,228 --> 00:21:35,896 NO. 469 00:21:35,929 --> 00:21:36,529 YES. 470 00:21:36,563 --> 00:21:39,099 YES. NO. 471 00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:40,767 WHERE IS IT? 472 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,269 IN THE OVEN. 473 00:21:45,939 --> 00:21:47,941 OHH! 474 00:21:49,742 --> 00:21:52,745 YOURS IS SLIGHTLY BIGGER. 32926

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