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1
00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:11,345
"44 ACROSS, MEN ARE FROM MARS,
WOMEN ARE FROM..."
2
00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:12,480
LET'S SEE.
3
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:15,283
5 LETTERS,
STARTING WITH "V."
4
00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:16,851
AHH!
5
00:00:16,885 --> 00:00:18,319
VEGAS.
6
00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:23,625
DICK! DICK, LOOK WHO
I MET OUTSIDE. MICHEL.
7
00:00:23,658 --> 00:00:25,927
MICHEL?
YOU'RE A GIRL?
8
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,228
NO, HE'S FROM FRANCE.
9
00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:28,196
HELLO.
10
00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:29,564
MICHEL ASKED ME
TO TAKE A PICTURE OF HIM
11
00:00:29,598 --> 00:00:31,900
STANDING NEXT TO THAT STATUE
OF GENERAL RUFUS PUTNAM.
12
00:00:31,933 --> 00:00:35,469
OH, DID YOU
MAKE HIM PUT HIS FINGER
IN THE GENERAL'S NOSE?
13
00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:36,571
OUI.
14
00:00:36,605 --> 00:00:37,772
OUI.
15
00:00:37,806 --> 00:00:38,840
THAT MEANS YES.
16
00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:40,074
OOH!
17
00:00:40,108 --> 00:00:42,476
LE GENERAL
A UN NEZ GRAND,
N'EST-CE PAS?
18
00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:44,846
MAIS BIEN SUR,
ET FROID AUSSI, NON?
19
00:00:44,879 --> 00:00:46,748
OH HA HA HA.
OH HA HA HA.
20
00:00:46,781 --> 00:00:47,949
MARY!
21
00:00:47,982 --> 00:00:51,820
AND NINA, THIS IS
SALLY'S DELIGHTFUL
NEW FRENCH GUY MICHEL.
22
00:00:51,853 --> 00:00:53,922
MARIE AND NEENAH.
23
00:00:53,955 --> 00:00:55,556
YOUR NAMES
COULD BE FRENCH.
24
00:00:55,590 --> 00:00:57,592
[BOTH GIGGLING]
25
00:00:57,626 --> 00:00:59,828
AAAH.
AAAH.
26
00:00:59,861 --> 00:01:01,462
I TOOK
3 YEARS OF FRENCH
IN HIGH SCHOOL
27
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:04,298
AND I CAN'T
REMEMBER A THING.
28
00:01:04,332 --> 00:01:06,367
NO, I AM IN AMERICA.
29
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,604
I AM THE ONE
WHO NEEDS TO LEARN.
30
00:01:09,638 --> 00:01:13,441
OK.
31
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:16,645
MICHEL, HOW DO YOU SAY
"NICE TO MEET YOU"
IN FRENCH?
32
00:01:16,678 --> 00:01:17,545
ENCHANTé.
33
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:18,579
ENCHANTé.
34
00:01:18,613 --> 00:01:22,150
OK. HOW DO YOU SAY
555-0189?
35
00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:24,786
CINQ-CINQ-CINQ
ZERO-UN-HUIT-NEUF.
36
00:01:24,819 --> 00:01:27,055
OK. YOU MIGHT WANT ME
TO WRITE THAT DOWN.
37
00:01:27,088 --> 00:01:28,757
NINA!
38
00:01:28,790 --> 00:01:31,125
MICHEL, UH,
WE SHOULD BE GOING.
39
00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:33,795
IT WAS FANTASTIC
TO MEET YOU ALL.
40
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:36,865
HE'S SO CHARMING.
41
00:01:36,898 --> 00:01:39,367
OW-EEE!
42
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:45,840
ON MY FOOT
I HAVE A BIG, PAINFUL,
OOZING BLISTER.
43
00:01:47,876 --> 00:01:50,278
[IMITATING MICHEL'S
FRENCH ACCENT]
A BLISTER!
44
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:27,148
SO, MICHEL, WHAT TIME
IS IT IN FRANCE
RIGHT NOW?
45
00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:30,084
UH, 4 A.M.
46
00:02:30,118 --> 00:02:33,254
WOW. IT'S SO EARLY.
47
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:35,589
YOU HAVE BEEN SO WONDERFUL
TO ME, CHERIE.
48
00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:37,658
I NEVER MEET
A WOMAN LIKE YOU.
49
00:02:37,692 --> 00:02:39,293
AND YOU
NEVER WILL AGAIN.
50
00:02:40,995 --> 00:02:43,898
YOU ARE NOT ONLY BEAUTIFUL,
YOU ARE KIND.
51
00:02:43,932 --> 00:02:47,168
BUT MORE BEAUTIFUL,
RIGHT?
52
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:48,669
YES.
53
00:02:48,703 --> 00:02:51,906
SO, UM, HOW LONG ARE YOU
PLANNING ON STAYING
IN RUTHERFORD?
54
00:02:51,940 --> 00:02:55,209
SALLY, I LOVE THIS PLACE.
55
00:02:55,243 --> 00:02:56,544
I WOULD LIKE
TO STAY VERY MUCH,
56
00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:59,647
BUT YOUR GOVERNMENT IS...
57
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,282
NOT SO NICE.
58
00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:02,984
EXCEPT FOR
ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
59
00:03:03,017 --> 00:03:05,653
YES. NICE MAN.
VERY--VERY NICE MAN.
60
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:11,359
BUT...YOUR COUNTRY IS NOT
SAFE FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME.
61
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:16,731
THERE IS ONLY ONE SAFE WAY
FOR ME TO STAY HERE,
KIND GIRL.
62
00:03:16,765 --> 00:03:18,499
I NEED TO GET MARRIED.
63
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:24,138
SALLY, WOULD YOU MARRY ME?
64
00:03:24,172 --> 00:03:25,639
YEOW! DAMN!
65
00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:28,309
HOT-DIGGITY-DOG!
OH, MAN, OH, MAN,
OH, MAN!
66
00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:32,881
SORRY.
67
00:03:32,914 --> 00:03:35,216
IT'S JUST
THAT NOBODY'S EVER
ASKED ME THAT BEFORE.
68
00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:38,252
OUI.
69
00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:39,954
OH!
70
00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:44,658
YOU'RE WHAT?!
YOU'RE WHAT?!
YOU'RE WHAT?!
71
00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:45,827
I'M GETTING MARRIED.
72
00:03:45,860 --> 00:03:47,095
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
73
00:03:47,128 --> 00:03:49,397
2 REASONS--I'M A WOMAN,
AND HE ASKED ME.
74
00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:51,165
LIEUTENANT, AREN'T YOU
FORGETTING SOMETHING?
75
00:03:51,199 --> 00:03:52,533
YOU'RE RIGHT.
THE WEDDING
ANNOUNCEMENTS.
76
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,568
NO! THE MISSION!
77
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,370
DICK, THIS IS
MY MISSION.
78
00:03:56,404 --> 00:03:57,605
IT'S WHAT WOMEN
ARE SUPPOSED TO DO--
79
00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:58,706
GET MARRIED,
HAVE BABIES,
80
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,608
HIRE TOTAL STRANGERS
TO RAISE THEM,
81
00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:04,813
AND THEN WONDER
WHERE THEY WENT WRONG.
82
00:04:04,846 --> 00:04:05,746
IT HAPPENED
SO QUICKLY.
83
00:04:05,780 --> 00:04:07,381
HOW DID HE KNOW
IT WAS TIME TO ASK?
84
00:04:07,415 --> 00:04:10,218
HE'S A MAN.
MEN KNOW THESE THINGS.
85
00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:11,152
BUT I'M A MAN.
86
00:04:11,185 --> 00:04:12,320
AM I MISSING SOMETHING?
87
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:14,055
YOU? NEVER.
88
00:04:14,088 --> 00:04:17,792
NO FLIES ON YOU.
89
00:04:17,826 --> 00:04:19,093
TRUST ME.
I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
90
00:04:19,127 --> 00:04:21,062
BESIDES, I'VE DATED
MORE THAN ANY OF YOU.
91
00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:22,563
BUT BY NO STRETCH
OF THE IMAGINATION
92
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,565
HAVE YOU BEEN
THE MOST
PROMISCUOUS.
93
00:04:26,935 --> 00:04:28,669
OH, TRUST ME,
HIGH COMMANDER.
94
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:32,106
MICHEL'S A GREAT GUY,
PLUS HE'S LOADED. LOOK.
95
00:04:32,140 --> 00:04:35,276
HE'S GIVING ME $5,000,
HE WANTS TO MARRY ME
SO BADLY.
96
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:37,678
2,000 UP FRONT
AND THE REST
WHEN THE DEAL'S DONE.
97
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:38,813
AS A GIFT?
98
00:04:38,847 --> 00:04:40,381
NO, NO, TOMMY.
99
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:42,583
THIS IS WHAT'S KNOWN
AS A DOWRY.
100
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,418
IT'S AN OLD-WORLD
MARRIAGE CUSTOM,
101
00:04:44,452 --> 00:04:45,987
AND MICHEL IS FROM THERE.
102
00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:47,155
MAYBE IF WE HOLD OUT,
103
00:04:47,188 --> 00:04:50,424
HE'LL THROW IN
A GOAT OR TWO.
104
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:51,392
THE BEST PART
OF EVERYTHING
105
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:53,761
IS I GET TO HAVE
A WEDDING, YOU KNOW?
106
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,697
BIG WHITE DRESS,
LONG VEIL,
107
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:59,000
CRAPPY BAND.
108
00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:02,303
AHH. IT'LL BE A DAY
I'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER.
109
00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:03,471
OK! THERE'S WORK
TO BE DONE!
110
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:05,239
HARRY, I WANT YOU TO
FIND ME SOMETHING OLD,
SOMETHING NEW,
111
00:05:05,273 --> 00:05:06,807
SOMETHING BORROWED,
SOMETHING BLUE. GO!
112
00:05:06,841 --> 00:05:08,342
TOMMY, GET ME
A DEAL ON FLOWERS.
113
00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:09,743
DICK, YOUR JOB IS
TO SIT BACK
114
00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:11,980
AND JUST GET
OVERWHELMED BY
THE WHOLE PROCESS.
115
00:05:19,888 --> 00:05:22,023
HI. CAN I HELP YOU
WITH SOMETHING?
116
00:05:22,056 --> 00:05:24,092
YEAH. MY SISTER'S
GETTING MARRIED.
SHE NEEDS FLOWERS.
117
00:05:24,125 --> 00:05:25,026
ANYTHING IN MIND?
118
00:05:25,059 --> 00:05:26,928
CHEAP.
119
00:05:26,961 --> 00:05:27,728
YOU KNOW WHAT?
120
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,030
I HAVE
A SAMPLE BOUQUET
121
00:05:29,063 --> 00:05:31,265
FROM A WEDDING
WE DID YESTERDAY.
122
00:05:31,299 --> 00:05:34,468
SOMETHING LIKE THIS
MAYBE?
123
00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:38,406
YEAH. YEAH, THAT'S NICE,
BUT IT DOESN'T REALLY, UH...
124
00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:39,540
POP.
125
00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:42,443
I WAS THINKING SOMETHING
MAYBE A LITTLE MORE LIKE THIS
126
00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:44,512
AND MAYBE A SPRAY OF THESE.
127
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,147
OH, THESE ARE GREAT.
128
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:48,216
COULD YOU HAND ME
THE RIBBON BACK THERE?
129
00:05:48,249 --> 00:05:53,087
NO, THE IVORY.
130
00:05:53,121 --> 00:05:54,622
NOW, THIS ROCKS.
131
00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:58,159
YOUNG MAN, YOU HAVE
QUITE A KNACK FOR THIS.
132
00:05:58,192 --> 00:05:59,660
COOL.
133
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:03,531
SHE'S
GETTING MARRIED.
134
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:05,566
OH, THAT'S
SO ROMANTIC.
135
00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:06,634
SHE JUST MET HIM!
136
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:10,404
I WISH I'D HAVE
MET HIM FIRST.
137
00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:12,006
DICK, DO YOU HAVE
A PROBLEM WITH THIS?
138
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:12,907
NO, WHY SHOULD I?
139
00:06:12,941 --> 00:06:16,444
SALLY'S FULFILLING
HER PURPOSE AS A WOMAN.
140
00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:17,745
OH, PLEASE, DICK.
141
00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:20,982
NOT EVERY WOMAN FEELS
HER LIFE IS INCOMPLETE
UNTIL SHE GOT A MAN.
142
00:06:21,015 --> 00:06:25,353
WELL, HASN'T YOUR LIFE
BEEN BETTER SINCE
YOU MET ME?
143
00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:29,390
YES, BUT WE'VE TAKEN
THE TIME TO LEARN
ABOUT EACH OTHER.
144
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:30,624
WE'VE LEARNED A LOT.
145
00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:31,659
WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER
OVER A YEAR.
146
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:32,626
WE'RE NOT GETTING MARRIED.
147
00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:33,394
CERTAINLY NOT.
148
00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:34,562
WE'VE NEVER EVEN
DISCUSSED IT.
149
00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:35,529
YOU'VE NEVER EVEN
BROUGHT IT UP.
150
00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:36,364
NEITHER HAVE YOU.
151
00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:38,032
WELL, WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT IT NOW.
152
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:45,473
I HAVE
A PHONE CALL TO MAKE.
153
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:46,674
ME, TOO.
154
00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:53,814
WHOA. BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS.
155
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,316
OH, THANKS.
I ARRANGED THEM.
156
00:06:55,349 --> 00:06:56,250
REALLY?
YOU DID A GREAT JOB.
157
00:06:56,284 --> 00:06:57,385
UH-UH. DON'T TOUCH.
158
00:06:57,418 --> 00:07:01,289
YOU DON'T WANT
TO OVERBUNCH THE VASE.
159
00:07:01,322 --> 00:07:04,392
EACH FLOWER HAS TO BE
ALLOWED TO HAVE
ITS OWN MOMENT.
160
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:07,461
OH, YEAH, MOMENT.
161
00:07:07,495 --> 00:07:10,098
MY UNCLE WALLY OWNS
A FLOWER SHOP IN FLORIDA.
162
00:07:10,131 --> 00:07:14,902
HIS ROOMMATE JASPER
HELPS HIM RUN IT.
163
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,171
SO, YOU THINK
HE'LL PASS IT DOWN
TO HIS KIDS?
164
00:07:17,205 --> 00:07:20,541
NO, I THINK THE LEGACY
STOPPED RIGHT THERE
IN SOUTH BEACH.
165
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:21,075
SORRY.
166
00:07:22,376 --> 00:07:25,013
SEE, THIS IS THE THIRD SET
OF LITTLE PEOPLE
YOU'VE SENT ME,
167
00:07:25,046 --> 00:07:27,015
AND ONCE AGAIN THEY BEAR
NO RESEMBLANCE
168
00:07:27,048 --> 00:07:29,783
TO ME OR MY FUTURE HUSBAND.
169
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:30,985
GET IT RIGHT.
170
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,789
SALLY, I GOT IT.
EVERYTHING
YOU ASKED FOR.
171
00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:37,425
OH, WHAT A RELIEF.
172
00:07:42,230 --> 00:07:45,866
SOMETHING OLD.
173
00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:49,203
A RADIAL,
COURTESY OF THE ALLEY.
174
00:07:49,237 --> 00:07:50,971
SOMETHING NEW!
175
00:07:51,005 --> 00:07:52,773
A TUB OF VASELINE
WITH AN UNBROKEN SEAL.
176
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:56,810
SWEET!
177
00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:58,212
SOMETHING BORROWED.
178
00:07:58,246 --> 00:08:01,749
A CUP OF SEA SALT
FROM MISS DUBCEK.
179
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:06,254
AND FINALLY,
THE PIECE DE
RESISTENANCE.
180
00:08:06,287 --> 00:08:08,989
SOMETHING BLUE.
A LIFESAVER!
181
00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:13,461
MINTY.
182
00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:15,329
IT'S PERFECT, HARRY.
183
00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:25,373
OOH, THOSE ARE
BEAUTIFUL!
184
00:08:25,406 --> 00:08:27,908
OH, THANKS. I WAS TEMPTED
TO USE WILLOW BRANCHES,
185
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:30,944
BUT THEY SEEMED
A BIT STARK.
186
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:32,713
YOU'RE
VERY ARTISTIC.
187
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:34,282
YEAH, SURE.
THAT'S THE WORD.
188
00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:40,388
HELLO, SALLY.
I HEARD THE NEWS.
189
00:08:40,421 --> 00:08:43,257
WOW! HAPPENED SO SUDDENLY.
190
00:08:43,291 --> 00:08:44,625
CUT
TO THE CHASE, MARY.
191
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:45,959
SALLY, SHE THINKS
YOU'RE CRAZY.
192
00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:46,694
WHAT?
193
00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:47,961
NO, I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
194
00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:50,498
IT'S JUST THAT
I'M CONCERNED.
195
00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:51,932
I WANT THE BEST FOR YOU,
196
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:53,434
AND THIS ALL
HAPPENED SO QUICKLY.
197
00:08:53,467 --> 00:08:57,305
MARY, YOU ARE SO
TRANSPARENT.
198
00:08:57,338 --> 00:08:58,306
YOU'RE JEALOUS.
199
00:08:58,339 --> 00:08:59,373
WHAT?
200
00:08:59,407 --> 00:09:03,677
YOU ARE.
YOU ARE.
201
00:09:03,711 --> 00:09:04,812
YOU WANT
TO GET MARRIED, TOO.
202
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:07,181
YOU DO!
203
00:09:07,215 --> 00:09:08,616
WELL, SURE,
WHEN I'M READY.
204
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:10,451
YOU DON'T THINK
I'M READY?
205
00:09:10,484 --> 00:09:11,885
WELL, I JUST THINK
YOU SHOULD WAIT.
206
00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:13,221
UNTIL WHEN?
207
00:09:13,254 --> 00:09:15,823
I'M MIDDLE-AGED
AND I HAVE TO WALK
OUT OF THE BEDROOM BACKWARDS
208
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:17,525
SO MY HUSBAND WON'T SEE
MY RIPPLEY BUTT?
209
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:21,562
OH, STOP.
210
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:22,896
MARY!
211
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:24,665
THAT'S WHAT YOU DO.
212
00:09:31,305 --> 00:09:32,406
OK.
213
00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,074
I GUESS THIS WAS
NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
214
00:09:34,108 --> 00:09:37,211
WELL, YOU'RE
DOING IT AGAIN.
215
00:09:37,245 --> 00:09:39,213
I'M SORRY
I EVEN TRIED!
216
00:09:39,247 --> 00:09:41,182
NO, NO, NO. DR. ALBRIGHT,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
217
00:09:41,215 --> 00:09:45,653
LOOK, LOOK, JUST
SIT DOWN HERE, OK?
218
00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:47,621
IT'S JUST THAT
I GOT SO...
219
00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:49,657
DAMN ARROGANT,
YOU KNOW,
220
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:50,891
THAT I GOT PROPOSED TO.
221
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,293
IT'S LIKE I FINALLY
GOT SOMETHING
222
00:09:52,326 --> 00:09:55,163
I CAN LORD
OVER OTHER WOMEN,
AND THAT'S NOT RIGHT.
223
00:09:55,196 --> 00:09:56,497
NO.
224
00:09:56,530 --> 00:09:59,367
I WANT YOU TO BE
HAPPY FOR ME, MARY.
225
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:01,269
I'D LIKE YOU
TO BE IN MY WEDDING.
226
00:10:05,239 --> 00:10:06,540
BRIDESMAID?
227
00:10:06,574 --> 00:10:07,808
BETTER.
228
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,910
I WANT YOU TO BE
MY MAID OF HONOR.
229
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:12,513
MY BITTER
OLD MAID OF HONOR.
230
00:10:18,186 --> 00:10:19,920
GENTLEMEN,
HOW DO YOU KNOW
231
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,522
WHEN IT'S TIME
TO GET MARRIED?
232
00:10:21,555 --> 00:10:23,891
RIGHT WHEN THAT LITTLE
STICK THING TURNS BLUE.
233
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:27,595
I MEAN,
DO YOU GET MARRIED
234
00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,730
WHEN THE RELATIONSHIP
STOPS BEING ABOUT SEX
235
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:32,266
AND STARTS BECOMING
DEEPER?
236
00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:38,972
DEEPER THAN SEX?
237
00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:40,574
I JUST DON'T KNOW
IF I'M READY.
238
00:10:40,608 --> 00:10:43,677
DR. ALBRIGHT'S TIGHTENING
THE OLD MATRIMONIAL
CHOKE HOLD, ISN'T SHE?
239
00:10:43,711 --> 00:10:48,048
I WISH. UNFORTUNATELY,
SHE WANTS TO GET MARRIED.
240
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,318
I GUESS I'M JUST
GOING TO HAVE
TO ASK HER.
241
00:10:50,351 --> 00:10:52,286
WHY DON'T YOU
BUY YOURSELF SOME TIME
242
00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:54,355
BY GIVING HER
AN ENGAGEMENT RING?
243
00:10:54,388 --> 00:10:55,189
A RING?
244
00:10:55,223 --> 00:10:57,258
SOMETHING BIG AND
SHOWY, YA KNOW?
245
00:10:57,291 --> 00:10:58,726
PROVES HOW MUCH
YOU CARE FOR HER,
246
00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:02,230
AND THAT WAY, YOU CAN
DRAG IT OUT FOR YEARS.
247
00:11:02,263 --> 00:11:03,997
SO I JUST TAG HER,
PUT HER ON THE SHELF
248
00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:05,566
SO I CAN PICK HER UP
WHENEVER I WANT,
249
00:11:05,599 --> 00:11:08,068
LIKE--LIKE
HUMAN LAY-AWAY?
250
00:11:10,638 --> 00:11:12,340
I LIKE IT.
251
00:11:16,577 --> 00:11:17,077
I LIKE THAT ONE.
252
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,947
MM, IT'S VERY YOU.
253
00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:22,483
SALLY, I'VE BEEN
AN INSENSITIVE CLOD.
254
00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:24,718
YEAH. I'M USED
TO THAT BY NOW.
255
00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:27,988
NO, NO, NOT TO YOU.
TO DR. ALBRIGHT.
256
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,991
WHICH IS WHY I'VE
DECIDED TO ASK HER
TO MARRY ME.
257
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:31,759
GOOD FOR YOU.
258
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:33,527
THANK YOU. AND
AS HIGH COMMANDER,
259
00:11:33,561 --> 00:11:36,196
MY WEDDING IS
MORE IMPORTANT
THAN YOURS,
260
00:11:36,230 --> 00:11:39,099
SO I GET
TO GO FIRST.
261
00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,568
WHAT?
262
00:11:40,601 --> 00:11:43,271
YOU HORRIBLE,
HORRIBLE MAN!
263
00:11:43,304 --> 00:11:45,273
WHY DO YOU WANT TO RAIN
ON MY PARADE?
264
00:11:45,306 --> 00:11:46,974
THE ONE CHANCE I GET
TO FEEL SPECIAL
265
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:48,776
AND YOU WANT
TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!
266
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:52,413
I WANT TO BE THE BRIDE!
ME, BRIDE!
267
00:11:52,446 --> 00:11:56,149
[CRYING]
268
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,088
I-I-I'M SORRY.
269
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:01,822
FORGIVE ME.
270
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:04,024
I'M BEING SELFISH.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
271
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,693
YOU SHOULD GO FIRST.
272
00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:07,295
YOU'VE ALREADY
ORDERED YOUR CAKE,
273
00:12:07,328 --> 00:12:10,531
AND I HAVEN'T EVEN
POPPED THE QUESTION YET.
274
00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:12,300
OH, STOP CRYING.
275
00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:16,337
THERE'S MY GIRL.
276
00:12:16,370 --> 00:12:20,441
AND WHAT A BIG GIRL
YOU ARE.
277
00:12:20,474 --> 00:12:24,244
AND SOON I'LL
HAVE TO GIVE YOU AWAY
TO ANOTHER MAN.
278
00:12:24,278 --> 00:12:25,979
AND WHAT A PRETTY BRIDE
YOU'LL MAKE.
279
00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:30,451
* WHERE ARE YOU GOING
280
00:12:30,484 --> 00:12:33,887
* MY LITTLE ONE,
LITTLE ONE? *
281
00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:36,089
* WHERE ARE YOU GOING
282
00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:39,226
* MY BABY, MY OWN?
283
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:42,496
* TURN AROUND
AND YOU'RE TINY *
284
00:12:42,530 --> 00:12:45,633
* TURN AROUND
AND YOU'RE GROWN *
285
00:12:45,666 --> 00:12:48,902
* TURN AROUND
AND YOU'RE A YOUNG WIFE *
286
00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:52,172
* WITH BABES
OF HER OWN *
287
00:12:57,411 --> 00:12:59,079
TO YOU, DR. SOLOMON.
288
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,148
[IMITATES FRENCH
ACCENT] TO ME.
289
00:13:03,517 --> 00:13:05,619
YOU ARE
A GREAT AMERICAN.
290
00:13:05,653 --> 00:13:07,321
IN FRANCE, IT WOULD BE
VERY HARD TO FIND A MAN
291
00:13:07,355 --> 00:13:10,290
THAT WOULD ACCEPT MONEY
FOR HIS SISTER.
292
00:13:10,324 --> 00:13:12,360
AND IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE
IN WISCONSIN.
293
00:13:12,393 --> 00:13:15,463
HMM. WELL,
SHE'S ALL YOURS NOW.
294
00:13:15,496 --> 00:13:18,399
I'LL BET YOU CAN'T WAIT
TO SLEEP WITH HER.
295
00:13:18,432 --> 00:13:19,467
PARDON?
296
00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:22,035
YOU KNOW,
THE BIG NIGHT,
LA NUIT GRANDE.
297
00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:23,637
NO, NO, NO,
PROFESSOR SOLOMON.
298
00:13:23,671 --> 00:13:25,773
THIS IS A LEGAL
ARRANGEMENT ONLY.
299
00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,375
I WILL NOT TOUCH
YOUR SISTER.
300
00:13:27,408 --> 00:13:30,811
YOU HAVE TO!
SHE'S DYING TO!
301
00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:32,713
WHAT?
ARE YOU POSITIVE?
302
00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:35,215
OF COURSE.
IT'S LIKE THOSE
SNEAKER ADS SAY.
303
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:36,617
"JUST DO HER."
304
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:45,793
YOU ARE A VERY
STRANGE FAMILY.
305
00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:50,664
BUT STRANGE IN A WAY
I CAN ACCEPT, HUH?
306
00:13:50,698 --> 00:13:51,599
SALUT.
307
00:13:51,632 --> 00:13:52,666
A VOTRE SANTé.
308
00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:53,166
TAKE CARE.
309
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,602
HO HO.
310
00:14:03,577 --> 00:14:04,845
OH, DON'T PUSH.
311
00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:07,014
I'LL BUZZ YOU IN.
312
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:08,616
[BUZZ]
313
00:14:08,649 --> 00:14:09,583
UH...
314
00:14:09,617 --> 00:14:11,552
WAIT TO PUSH.
315
00:14:11,585 --> 00:14:15,122
I'LL BUZZ,
THEN YOU PUSH.
316
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:16,757
[BUZZ]
317
00:14:16,790 --> 00:14:18,459
[BUZZER]
318
00:14:18,492 --> 00:14:20,127
[BUZZER]
319
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:23,163
ALL RIGHT,
LISTEN TO ME!
320
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,566
WAIT FOR THE BUZZER
TO STOP!
321
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,470
[BUZZER]
322
00:14:29,503 --> 00:14:30,438
[BUZZER]
323
00:14:30,471 --> 00:14:34,074
[BUZZER]
324
00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:35,709
I GIVE UP!
325
00:14:35,743 --> 00:14:38,078
AND THEY WONDER WHY OLD
DOWNTOWN RUTHERFORD IS DEAD.
326
00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,247
YOU CAN'T
GET INTO THE STORES!
327
00:14:45,853 --> 00:14:48,922
GOOD MORNING, SIR.
LOVELY DAY.
328
00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:51,191
YES.
IS THERE SOMETHING
I CAN SHOW YOU?
329
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,126
ENGAGEMENT RINGS
FOR WOMEN.
330
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:54,995
OH, EXCELLENT,
EXCELLENT.
331
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:58,331
DIAMOND ENGAGEMENTS
ARE RIGHT OVER HERE.
332
00:14:58,365 --> 00:14:59,299
UM...
333
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:00,534
WE'LL START SMALL.
334
00:15:00,568 --> 00:15:02,736
OH, THIS ONE
LOOKS NICE.
335
00:15:02,770 --> 00:15:03,871
HOW MUCH IS IT?
336
00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:08,476
AH, THAT ONE IS $3,000.
337
00:15:08,509 --> 00:15:10,377
FOR A DIAMOND?
338
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:13,481
WHERE I COME FROM,
WE USE THE BIG ONES
FOR DOORSTOPS.
339
00:15:13,514 --> 00:15:16,283
SIR, YOU MUSTN'T THINK
IN TERMS OF PRICE.
340
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:18,085
THE RING IS A SYMBOL.
341
00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:19,152
SYMBOL?
342
00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:20,521
YES. THE CIRCULAR SHAPE
343
00:15:20,554 --> 00:15:22,490
REPRESENTS
NEVER-ENDING LOVE.
344
00:15:22,523 --> 00:15:25,425
CIRCULAR SHAPE.
345
00:15:25,459 --> 00:15:27,094
GREAT.
346
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:28,662
I'LL GIVE HER
MY WATCH.
347
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:42,075
KNICKERS?
348
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:45,779
THEY'RE CRUSHED VELVET.
349
00:15:45,813 --> 00:15:48,315
DO YOU...LIKE THEM?
350
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:50,050
I MADE THEM.
351
00:15:51,752 --> 00:15:54,354
TOMMY...KISS ME.
352
00:15:57,758 --> 00:16:00,127
UH, DO YOU WANT TO GO
OUT TO THE RAMBLER?
353
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:03,531
THERE'S A FEW MINUTES
BEFORE THIS LITTLE
PROCESSION.
354
00:16:03,564 --> 00:16:07,100
NO, I WAS JUST
CHECKING SOMETHING.
355
00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:09,002
HEY! HEY,
DON'T START THE MOTOR
356
00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:10,938
UNLESS YOU'RE READY
TO CUT THE GRASS!
357
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:19,346
OH, SALLY!
358
00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:21,982
YOU LOOK
SO BEAUTIFUL!
359
00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:23,383
SO EXQUISITE.
360
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:24,351
SO...
361
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,954
BOOBS?!
362
00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:29,923
YOU, MY LUCKY LADY,
ARE I CHARGE OF THAT TRAIN.
363
00:16:33,594 --> 00:16:34,995
HEY, HAR--
364
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:39,299
UM...
365
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,233
WHO'S THAT?
366
00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:43,503
SALLY, MEET
BLIND JOE SLOCUM.
367
00:16:43,537 --> 00:16:44,638
HE'S OLD,
368
00:16:44,672 --> 00:16:46,406
I BORROWED HIM FROM
THE TIP TOP CLUB,
369
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:49,242
AND HE PLAYS THE BLUES.
370
00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:50,878
OK, SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE
THAT'S NEW?
371
00:16:50,911 --> 00:16:52,880
HE'S MY NEW FRIEND.
372
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,149
SO ARE YOU
WITH THE BRIDE'S FAMILY
373
00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:57,685
OR THE GROOM'S?
374
00:16:57,718 --> 00:17:01,254
NEITHER. I'M
WITH THE IMMIGRATION
AND NATURALIZATION SERVICE.
375
00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:04,725
WE HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE
THERE'S AN ILLEGAL ALIEN
IN THE WEDDING PARTY.
376
00:17:04,758 --> 00:17:06,193
REALLY?
377
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:16,036
MARY, THERE'S SOMETHING
I'VE GOT TO ASK YOU
378
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:17,137
BEFORE THIS
WHOLE THING STARTS.
379
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:18,606
OH, DICK, NOT AGAIN.
380
00:17:18,639 --> 00:17:20,007
YOU'RE ON SALLY'S LEFT,
381
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,676
AND REMEMBER, NO SKIPPING
DOWN THE AISLE.
382
00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:25,679
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
383
00:17:25,713 --> 00:17:28,148
CAN I BORROW A TOOTHBRUSH?
384
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:29,416
THERE'S THE MOST
ADORABLE MAN
385
00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:30,450
OUT THERE
WITH THE GOVERNMENT.
386
00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:31,518
HE'S LOOKING
FOR ALIENS.
387
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:32,920
AAH!
388
00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:37,357
THANK YOU, MISS DUBCEK.
389
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:38,291
NOW, GO OUT THERE
390
00:17:38,325 --> 00:17:40,894
AND HYPNOTIZE HIM
WITH YOUR FEMININE WILES.
391
00:17:40,928 --> 00:17:42,395
NO PROBLEM.
392
00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:44,164
OH!
393
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:47,701
FAMILY MEETING,
FAMILY MEETING.
394
00:17:47,735 --> 00:17:48,969
AAH!
OH!
AAH!
395
00:17:49,002 --> 00:17:49,603
WHERE?
396
00:17:49,637 --> 00:17:50,470
ARE YOU SURE?
397
00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:51,438
I'VE GOT
TO SEE MICHEL!
398
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:53,373
NO, WAIT A MINUTE!
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
399
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,209
NO, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
400
00:17:56,243 --> 00:18:03,083
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT!
401
00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:05,686
I'M SORRY.
I'M SO SORRY, MICHEL,
402
00:18:05,719 --> 00:18:07,387
BUT I CAN'T MARRY YOU.
403
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,156
WHAT?!
I'M SORRY.
404
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:10,557
BUT I NEED
TO GET MARRIED.
405
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:13,293
THEY'LL SEND ME BACK.
I'M AN ALIEN.
406
00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:14,227
WHAT?
407
00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:17,264
I'M AN ALIEN.
408
00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:19,933
WOW. OK.
409
00:18:19,967 --> 00:18:20,868
SEE, THIS IS NEVER
GOING TO WORK
410
00:18:20,901 --> 00:18:23,904
BECAUSE
I'M AN ALIEN, TOO.
411
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,973
THEN--THEN WHAT IS
THE POINT OF THIS?
412
00:18:26,006 --> 00:18:27,875
I DON'T KNOW.
413
00:18:27,908 --> 00:18:29,076
THEN GIVE ME BACK
MY MONEY.
414
00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:30,778
I CAN'T.
I SPENT IT
ON THE DRESS.
415
00:18:30,811 --> 00:18:32,179
WH--WE--
416
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:35,515
PULL YOURSELF
TOGETHER, MAN!
417
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:36,784
SOMEBODY'S HERE
LOOKING FOR YOU.
418
00:18:36,817 --> 00:18:38,118
NOW, COME WITH US
AND WE'LL PROTECT YOU.
419
00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:39,519
NO!
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
420
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:42,289
I AM SICK OF YOU
AND YOUR CRAZY PEOPLE!
421
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,557
CRAZY PEOPLE!
YOU'RE CRAZY!
422
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,562
COME ON, ALBRIGHT.
423
00:19:21,194 --> 00:19:23,063
OH! OH!
424
00:19:23,096 --> 00:19:23,964
AHEM!
425
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,065
OH, MARY!
426
00:19:25,098 --> 00:19:26,566
WE'RE LEAVING TOWN.
427
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,468
NO PARTICULAR REASON,
YOU KNOW.
428
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:29,937
CALL OF THE ROAD.
429
00:19:29,970 --> 00:19:31,972
OH, DICK, YOU SHOULDN'T BE
EMBARRASSED.
430
00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:33,874
MICHEL'S THE ONE
WHO GOT ARRESTED.
431
00:19:33,907 --> 00:19:34,674
THEY GOT MICHEL!
432
00:19:34,708 --> 00:19:37,044
OH!
OH!
433
00:19:37,077 --> 00:19:38,611
YEAH, THAT GUY
FROM IMMIGRATION.
434
00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:40,513
IT WAS AN UGLY FIGHT.
435
00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:45,018
THE FRENCH TEND TO KICK
A LOT WHEN FRIGHTENED.
436
00:19:45,052 --> 00:19:46,419
IMMIGRATION?
437
00:19:46,453 --> 00:19:50,791
YEAH. THEY SAID
THEY'LL BE SENDING HIM BACK
TO FRANCE IN THE MORNING.
438
00:19:50,824 --> 00:19:52,325
OF COURSE!
439
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,127
HE'S FROM
ANOTHER COUNTRY!
440
00:19:54,161 --> 00:19:56,129
THAT'S WHY
HE'S AN ALIEN.
441
00:19:56,163 --> 00:19:58,531
ALIEN FROM FRANCE!
442
00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:01,068
NOT A QUIVERING PURPLE TUBE
FROM A DISTANT GALAXY
443
00:20:01,101 --> 00:20:04,037
SENT TO STUDY HUMANKIND.
444
00:20:04,071 --> 00:20:05,739
WHAT? I SAID "NOT."
445
00:20:07,808 --> 00:20:09,342
I'M SORRY, SALLY.
446
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:10,778
THAT'S ALL RIGHT,
YOU KNOW.
447
00:20:10,811 --> 00:20:12,312
I GOT THE CAKE.
I GOT THE DRESS.
448
00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:14,347
I GOT ALMOST
ALL THE WAY
TO THE ALTAR.
449
00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:15,582
BUT YOU DIDN'T
GET MARRIED.
450
00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:17,650
I KNOW,
BUT WHAT THE HECK?
451
00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:18,786
HEY, AS LONG AS
WE'RE ALL DRESSED UP,
452
00:20:18,819 --> 00:20:20,420
WHO WANTS TO GO BOWLING?
453
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:22,722
TOMMY, HARRY,
GRAB MY TRAIN.
454
00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:26,960
SHE MADE
A BEAUTIFUL BRIDE.
455
00:20:26,994 --> 00:20:30,363
SHE'LL MAKE
A BEAUTIFUL BOWLER.
456
00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:32,065
MARY?
457
00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:37,304
THERE'S SOMETHING
I'VE BEEN WANTING TO ASK YOU
458
00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:39,639
FOR SEVERAL DAYS NOW.
459
00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:40,941
I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT
LONG AND HARD,
460
00:20:40,974 --> 00:20:42,776
AND I KNOW IT'S
THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
461
00:20:42,810 --> 00:20:45,145
MARY...
462
00:20:45,178 --> 00:20:47,414
WILL YOU WEAR MY WATCH?
463
00:20:51,985 --> 00:20:54,454
I CAN'T WEAR THIS.
464
00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:57,324
OH, I SEE.
465
00:20:57,357 --> 00:20:58,959
I THOUGHT IT'S
WHAT YOU WANTED.
466
00:20:58,992 --> 00:21:01,795
IT'S JUST TOO BIG.
467
00:21:01,829 --> 00:21:03,463
I KNOW IT'S A BIG STEP,
468
00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:08,368
BUT DON'T YOU THINK
THAT MAYBE SOMEDAY YOU
MIGHT WANT TO WEAR IT?
469
00:21:08,401 --> 00:21:11,538
WELL, MAYBE, IF...
470
00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:14,741
IF I GAIN
A LOT OF WEIGHT.
471
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:16,309
OH.
472
00:21:18,178 --> 00:21:19,913
CAKE?
473
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:30,423
SOME WHITE IRISES,
GERBER DAISIES,
474
00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:34,461
AND A SPRIG OF EUCALYPTUS
FOR BALANCE AND SCENT.
475
00:21:34,494 --> 00:21:35,662
COOL.
WHAT YOU DOING?
476
00:21:35,695 --> 00:21:37,831
I'M MAKING A CENTERPIECE
FOR THE FOOTBALL TEAM.
477
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:40,934
REALLY?
478
00:21:40,968 --> 00:21:41,768
YEAH.
479
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:43,536
IT'LL GO GREAT
ON THEIR TRAINING TABLE.
480
00:21:43,570 --> 00:21:46,239
I CAN'T WAIT
TO SEE THEIR FACES
WHEN THEY SEE THIS BABY.
481
00:21:50,110 --> 00:21:54,681
* IT'S FUN TO STAY
AT THE YMCA *
32275
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