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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:11,312 TV: AND 1 AND 2, AND THERE YOU GO. THAT'S IT! 2 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,419 FEEL THE BURN. 3 00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:24,726 [GIGGLES] 4 00:00:24,759 --> 00:00:26,928 WELL, HELLO, STRANGE BABY. 5 00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:31,099 WHO'S THAT? 6 00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:34,102 I DON'T KNOW. SOME BABY. 7 00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:38,072 THAT'S NO BABY. BABIES ARE PINK AND WRINKLY AND WEAR BLANKETS. 8 00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:39,908 DICK, YOU BETTER COME IN HERE. 9 00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:42,210 WHO'S THIS? 10 00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:44,613 I DON'T KNOW. SOME BABY. 11 00:00:44,646 --> 00:00:48,316 WHAT DOES IT WANT? 12 00:00:48,349 --> 00:00:49,450 WHAT DO YOU WANT? 13 00:00:53,755 --> 00:00:56,324 HELLO. HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY-- 14 00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:59,928 THERE'S MY LITTLE RUGRAT. 15 00:00:59,961 --> 00:01:03,164 MRS. DUBCEK, YOU HAD A BABY. 16 00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:06,400 HE'S MY GRANDSON. I'M BABYSITTING HIM. 17 00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:09,303 MY SON AND HIS WIFE ARE SPENDING THE WEEK AT CAESAR'S PALACE. 18 00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:10,972 AHH...ROME. 19 00:01:11,005 --> 00:01:13,642 HMM. 20 00:01:13,675 --> 00:01:15,944 COULD I ASK YOU FOLKS TO DO ME A FAVOR? 21 00:01:15,977 --> 00:01:17,145 NO, SORRY. 22 00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:19,047 COULD YOU WATCH THE LITTLE GUY 23 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:20,949 WHILE I RUN OUT TO THE DOCTOR'S? 24 00:01:20,982 --> 00:01:22,917 NO. YES, WE'D BE HAPPY TO. 25 00:01:22,951 --> 00:01:24,585 OH, GREAT. 26 00:01:24,619 --> 00:01:28,222 GREAT. HE'S HAD HIS NAP, AND HE'S JUST BEEN CHANGED. 27 00:01:28,256 --> 00:01:30,992 WHAT WAS HE BEFORE? 28 00:01:31,025 --> 00:01:32,426 MRS. DUBCEK, WHY DO YOU ASSUME 29 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:35,196 THAT SALLY WILL BE TAKING CARE OF THE BABY? 30 00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,497 SHE'S A WOMAN. 31 00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,499 PFFT-- YET ANOTHER PERK. 32 00:01:39,901 --> 00:01:41,502 I'LL GO GET HIS STUFF. 33 00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,137 NOW, HE MAY BE JUST A LITTLE BIT CRANKY. 34 00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:44,572 HE'S GOT TEETH COMING IN. 35 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:47,508 OH, WELL, DON'T WORRY. WE'LL...SIGN FOR THEM. 36 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:53,948 PERMISSION TO ASK WHAT THE HELL YOU JUST DID. 37 00:01:53,982 --> 00:01:57,285 NO, NO. IT'S AN OPPORTUNITY TO OBSERVE A BRAND-NEW HUMAN. 38 00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:58,920 BESIDES, YOU ALWAYS SAID YOU WANTED A BABY. 39 00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:04,258 NOT THIS BABY. I WANT ONE OF MY OWN, ONE MADE FROM SCRATCH. 40 00:02:04,292 --> 00:02:06,227 WHAT'S THAT SMELL? 41 00:02:09,864 --> 00:02:12,066 HEY, I BEEN WORKIN' OUT. 42 00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:47,235 [BABY CRIES] 43 00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:48,069 TURN IT OFF. 44 00:02:48,102 --> 00:02:48,837 I CAN'T. 45 00:02:48,870 --> 00:02:50,271 THEN TURN IT DOWN. 46 00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:52,673 WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT? 47 00:02:52,707 --> 00:02:54,175 ARE YOU HUNGRY? 48 00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:55,676 TOMMY, ENTERTAIN HIM TILL I GET BACK. 49 00:02:55,710 --> 00:02:57,111 WHAT, ME? I DON'T KNOW-- 50 00:02:57,145 --> 00:02:58,379 [STAMMERS] 51 00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:00,949 ALL RIGHT, KID. UH, I'LL READ YA A STORY. 52 00:03:00,982 --> 00:03:03,451 UM, "DINGO BOY RELEASED FROM POUND. 53 00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:06,354 BURT REYNOLDS UP IN ARMS." 54 00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:09,090 LOOK, IT'S A REAL DINGO BOY. SEE? SEE? 55 00:03:09,123 --> 00:03:09,758 MOVE IT. WHAT? 56 00:03:09,791 --> 00:03:11,659 HEY, THOSE ARE MY CROUTONS. 57 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,795 LET HIM BUY HIS OWN CROUTONS. 58 00:03:15,864 --> 00:03:18,933 LOOK, HE'S EATING. 59 00:03:18,967 --> 00:03:20,601 HE LIKES THE CROUTONS, HARRY. 60 00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:24,238 THEY'RE NUMMY-NUM. YES. 61 00:03:24,272 --> 00:03:28,609 OH, WHY ARE YOU TALKIN' LIKE THAT TO THE BABY? 62 00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:31,045 I HAVE MY REASONS. 63 00:03:31,079 --> 00:03:32,280 WELL, I'M OFF. 64 00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:35,349 DICK, LOOK. MRS. DUBCEK WAS RIGHT. I AM GREAT WITH THIS KID. 65 00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:37,118 WELL, HOW HARD COULD IT BE? 66 00:03:37,151 --> 00:03:38,953 LOOK HOW CUTE HE IS. 67 00:03:38,987 --> 00:03:42,156 [CRIES] 68 00:03:42,190 --> 00:03:45,093 WELL, HE'S SCREAMING. WHY IS HE SCREAMING? 69 00:03:45,126 --> 00:03:46,727 SOMEBODY MAKE HIM STOP. 70 00:03:46,761 --> 00:03:49,898 [STOPS CRYING] 71 00:03:49,931 --> 00:03:53,367 HEY, HE STOPPED. SEE, I'M GREAT WITH THIS KID, 72 00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:55,069 AND HE HATES YOU. 73 00:03:55,103 --> 00:03:56,104 GIVE ME THAT BABY. 74 00:03:56,137 --> 00:03:59,073 [CRIES] 75 00:03:59,107 --> 00:04:01,609 [STOPS CRYING] 76 00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:03,644 [CRIES] 77 00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:05,947 [STOPS CRYING] 78 00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:08,349 AAH! 79 00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:09,784 OH...DAMN! 80 00:04:15,924 --> 00:04:17,291 SEE, YOU MAKE HIM CRY. 81 00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:20,261 OH, NONSENSE. HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF TEARS OF JOY? 82 00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:22,096 YEAH. 83 00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:30,438 WEAR THE HAT. NO. NO. NO. 84 00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:32,640 COME ON, IT'S MARY'S GOING-AWAY PARTY. 85 00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,809 SHE'S ONLY GOING TO BE GONE FOR THREE DAYS. 86 00:04:34,843 --> 00:04:36,044 PLEASE. NO. 87 00:04:36,077 --> 00:04:37,011 HAT. HAT. HAT. 88 00:04:37,045 --> 00:04:38,412 NO. NO. NO. 89 00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:40,514 HELLO. 90 00:04:40,548 --> 00:04:41,782 SURPRISE! 91 00:04:41,816 --> 00:04:43,217 SURPRISE. 92 00:04:45,053 --> 00:04:47,088 MARY, I MISS YOU ALREADY. 93 00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:50,391 NOW, DICK, YOU DON'T HAVE TO THROW ME A SURPRISE PARTY 94 00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:53,327 EVERY TIME I GO TO A CONFERENCE. 95 00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:54,128 YOU WOULDN'T BE SAYING THAT 96 00:04:54,162 --> 00:04:55,663 IF NINA HAD WORN HER HAT. 97 00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:59,633 OH. OH. NINA... HERE ARE MY KEYS. 98 00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,836 YOU KNOW WHERE I KEEP THE FISH FOOD. 99 00:05:01,870 --> 00:05:03,838 NINA'S TAKING CARE OF YOUR FISH? 100 00:05:03,872 --> 00:05:05,239 Y-YES. 101 00:05:05,273 --> 00:05:07,075 MARY, SHOULDN'T I BE DOING THAT? 102 00:05:07,108 --> 00:05:08,910 UH... 103 00:05:08,943 --> 00:05:10,311 UH... 104 00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:12,746 NINA ALREADY KNOWS WHERE I KEEP THE FOOD. 105 00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:14,715 I SEE. 106 00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:15,583 SHE ALREADY KNOWS. 107 00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:16,851 UH-HUH. 108 00:05:16,885 --> 00:05:18,987 IT MUST MAKE IT A LOT EASIER FOR YOU THEN. 109 00:05:19,020 --> 00:05:20,254 IF YOU REALLY WANNA DO IT-- 110 00:05:20,288 --> 00:05:21,822 OH, YES, I DO. I DO. 111 00:05:21,856 --> 00:05:24,725 MARY, I WANNA TAKE CARE OF YOUR FISH, DESPERATELY. 112 00:05:27,028 --> 00:05:29,730 REALLY, NINA, THANK YOU SO MUCH. 113 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:34,002 HA HA HA. JUST DOIN' MY JOB. 114 00:05:34,035 --> 00:05:35,703 I HAVE FISH, YOU KNOW. 115 00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:36,404 DO YOU? 116 00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:38,539 MM-HMM. THEY'RE IN MY FREEZER. 117 00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:43,777 HERE YA GO, BABY. 118 00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:48,582 WELL, HE HATED THAT. 119 00:05:48,616 --> 00:05:50,284 [EXHALES] 120 00:05:50,318 --> 00:05:54,022 WHEN'S SALLY GONNA GET BACK WITH THOSE DIAPERS? 121 00:05:54,055 --> 00:05:55,756 OH, LOOK, 122 00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:59,427 SOME COMIN' OUT OF HIS NOSE AGAIN. 123 00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:01,662 YUCK. IT'S LIKE HE'S GOT WETNESS 124 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,797 COMING OUT OF EVERY HOLE IN HIS BODY. 125 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,072 DUMB, WET BABY. 126 00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:17,545 HEY...HE LIKES IT. 127 00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:19,080 AHH. 128 00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:22,650 MAYBE NOT. 129 00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:31,960 AHH. 130 00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:39,267 SUDDENLY IT'S NOT QUITE SO FUNNY 131 00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:41,035 WHEN I DO IT, NOW IS IT? 132 00:06:41,069 --> 00:06:43,237 YOU CAN'T DO THAT. IT'S A BABY. 133 00:06:43,271 --> 00:06:44,405 OH. 134 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,079 OH, MARY, THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME. 135 00:06:51,112 --> 00:06:54,682 YEAH. OK, NOW, LET'S GO OVER THIS ONE MORE TIME. 136 00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:57,685 THE FILTER AND THE HEATER ARE AUTOMATIC. 137 00:06:57,718 --> 00:06:59,320 DON'T TOUCH THEM. 138 00:06:59,353 --> 00:07:00,788 WHAT IF I NEED TO TOUCH THEM? 139 00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:02,957 WHY SHOULD YOU NEED TO TOUCH THEM? 140 00:07:02,991 --> 00:07:04,959 WHAT IF I WANT TO TOUCH THEM? 141 00:07:04,993 --> 00:07:09,497 JUST DON'T TOUCH THEM. 142 00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:13,167 IF THE FISH HAVE BEEN GOOD, I LIKE TO REWARD THEM 143 00:07:13,201 --> 00:07:14,668 WITH A LITTLE BRINE SHRIMP. 144 00:07:14,702 --> 00:07:16,704 AND IF THEY'RE BAD, I'LL MAKE THEM WATCH 145 00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:19,073 WHILE I EAT THE BRINE SHRIMP. 146 00:07:19,107 --> 00:07:21,675 NOW, THIS MIGHT SOUND SILLY, 147 00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:23,444 BUT I'M VERY ATTACHED TO THESE FISH. 148 00:07:23,477 --> 00:07:25,646 PLEASE DON'T KILL THEM. 149 00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:27,715 YOU LOVE YOUR FISH, AND I LOVE YOU. 150 00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:30,151 THAT'S WHY I'M GOING TO LOVE YOUR FISH. 151 00:07:30,184 --> 00:07:31,752 JUST FEED THEM. 152 00:07:34,088 --> 00:07:35,856 DON'T TOUCH THE FILTER! 153 00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:37,358 OK. OK. 154 00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:44,032 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 155 00:07:44,065 --> 00:07:46,867 [RING] 156 00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:47,735 HELLO? 157 00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:49,070 WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU TWO? 158 00:07:49,103 --> 00:07:51,205 HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO GO OVER THIS? 159 00:07:51,239 --> 00:07:52,706 WHEN THAT BABY IS ASLEEP, 160 00:07:52,740 --> 00:07:55,076 THAT PHONE IS NOT TO RING MORE THAN ONCE. 161 00:07:55,109 --> 00:07:56,077 RIGHT. 162 00:07:56,110 --> 00:07:59,480 THE ONE RING RULE. 163 00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:01,482 THAT'S RIGHT. 164 00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:04,818 HARRY, DID YOU THROW APPLESAUCE ALL OVER THE FLOOR? 165 00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:07,721 NO. IT WAS THE BABY. 166 00:08:07,755 --> 00:08:09,890 HE MADE A CUTE LITTLE DESIGN. 167 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:12,693 THAT WAS MRS. DUBCEK. 168 00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,128 SHH! 169 00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:18,432 [WHISPERING] She won't be back until tomorrow. 170 00:08:18,466 --> 00:08:19,467 WHAT?! 171 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,069 SHE SAID SHE WAS STILL WOOZY FROM THE MEDICATION, 172 00:08:21,102 --> 00:08:22,670 AND SHE GOT ON THE WRONG BUS AND WOKE UP 173 00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,505 IN A PETTING ZOO IN CLEVELAND. 174 00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:25,873 OHH. 175 00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:28,909 OH, THAT OLD EXCUSE. 176 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:31,312 WE GET TO KEEP THE BABY ANOTHER DAY. 177 00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:33,381 OH, GREAT. OH, AND BY THE WAY, 178 00:08:33,414 --> 00:08:35,449 IT WAS ME THAT SPILLED APPLESAUCE. 179 00:08:35,483 --> 00:08:38,319 IT WAS? NO. IT WAS THE BABY. 180 00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:39,920 YES, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THAT-- 181 00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:42,756 SHH! SHH! 182 00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:44,658 [WHISPERING] I think I hear him turning over. 183 00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:48,562 [WHISPERING] I don't hear anything. 184 00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:51,599 [WHISPERING] Of course you don't. You're a man. 185 00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:53,634 OHH...DAMN. 186 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:55,269 HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? 187 00:08:55,303 --> 00:08:57,238 THAT BABY HAS TAKEN CONTROL OF US. 188 00:08:57,271 --> 00:09:01,375 THE ONE WITH THE LEAST INTELLIGENCE IS RUNNING THE SHOW. 189 00:09:01,409 --> 00:09:04,145 THIS IS GETTING OLD FAST. THERE ARE THREE OF US AND ONLY ONE OF HIM. 190 00:09:04,178 --> 00:09:05,913 YEAH, WE'RE BIGGER THAN HIM. WE'RE WAY SMARTER. 191 00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:08,816 WE CAN TAKE THIS BABY. WHO'S WITH ME? 192 00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:09,917 UNH. UNH. UNH. 193 00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:10,918 COME ON, MEN. 194 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:13,254 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 195 00:09:13,287 --> 00:09:14,688 YEOW! 196 00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,560 ONE RING. 197 00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:26,900 HELLO, FISH. 198 00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:29,002 LOOK AT YOU IN THERE. 199 00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:31,139 WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? 200 00:09:31,172 --> 00:09:32,573 I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. 201 00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:35,008 ARE YOU IN THE TANK OR AM I? 202 00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,978 WELL, IT'S YOU, STUPID FISH. 203 00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:40,848 HERE, I BROUGHT YOU SOME PRESENTS: 204 00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:44,252 A TREASURE CHEST FILLED WITH GOLD DOUBLOONS, 205 00:09:44,285 --> 00:09:48,956 A TOPLESS MERMAID-- TRY NOT TO STARE-- 206 00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:50,358 AND BEST OF ALL, 207 00:09:50,391 --> 00:09:54,462 I BROUGHT YOU A NEW FRIEND. 208 00:09:54,495 --> 00:09:55,829 I CALL HER SNOWFLAKE 209 00:09:55,863 --> 00:09:58,699 BECAUSE SHE'S SOFT AND DELICATE. 210 00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,004 I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE IT 211 00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:06,440 IF I READ YOU A NIGHT-NIGHT STORY. 212 00:10:06,474 --> 00:10:09,243 IT'S CALLED TALES OF THE CALYPSO. 213 00:10:09,277 --> 00:10:11,979 SECRETS OF THE OCEAN DEEP. 214 00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:18,286 [FRENCH ACCENT] "SLOWLY, SO SLOWLY, 215 00:10:18,319 --> 00:10:21,054 "THE DAY TURNS INTO NIGHT. 216 00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:23,691 "THE DARKNESS TAUNTS THE LIGHT 217 00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:27,728 "THAT DANCES IN THE DEPTHS BELOW. 218 00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:30,063 "SUDDENLY AND WITHOUT WARNING, 219 00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:32,766 "DANGER STRIKES. 220 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,936 "OCTOPUS, OCTOPUS... 221 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:39,807 YOUR CHILDREN ARE DYING." 222 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,510 [SOBS] 223 00:10:43,444 --> 00:10:48,115 I WANT THAT. I WANT THAT. I WANT THAT. I WANT THAT. I WANT-- 224 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,750 WE'RE HERE TO GET SOMETHING FOR THE BABY. 225 00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:51,485 WE'RE NOT HERE TO GET SOMETHING FOR YOU. 226 00:10:51,519 --> 00:10:52,953 NUTS. 227 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,760 HERE, BABY. WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE? 228 00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:02,129 WHERE'D HE GO? 229 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,597 [GASPS] 230 00:11:03,631 --> 00:11:04,698 OH, NO. 231 00:11:04,732 --> 00:11:06,600 [BREATHES HEAVILY] 232 00:11:06,634 --> 00:11:08,101 HOLD ON, BABY! 233 00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:10,103 NO, SALLY, YOU CAN'T. 234 00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:11,905 LET ME GO. I'VE GOTTA SAVE HIM. 235 00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:15,676 GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF. THAT'S A BOTTOMLESS BALL PIT OF DEATH! 236 00:11:17,478 --> 00:11:20,080 I DON'T CARE. THAT'S MY BABY! 237 00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:21,048 NO-O-O-O-O. 238 00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:22,483 AAH! 239 00:11:25,319 --> 00:11:27,120 OHH. 240 00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:29,323 I'VE GOT HIM. 241 00:11:29,357 --> 00:11:31,492 I'VE GOT HIM. 242 00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:37,631 HEY, LADY, WE ONLY LET CHILDREN CLIMB IN THE BALL PIT. 243 00:11:37,665 --> 00:11:40,033 THAT IS SO SICK. 244 00:11:55,283 --> 00:11:58,185 LIEUTENANT, YOU LOOK LIKE HELL. 245 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:02,155 AND I MEAN THE LOCKED- IN-A-CAR-WASH-OVERNIGHT KIND OF HELL. 246 00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:03,757 YEAH. IT'S THIS BABY. 247 00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:05,959 HE RAN ME RAGGED ALL DAY. 248 00:12:05,993 --> 00:12:09,029 OH, THAT INSOLENT LITTLE TWERP. 249 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,764 HE'S GONE TOO FAR. 250 00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:13,967 TOMORROW, I'M GRANTING YOU A ONE-DAY FURLOUGH. GO INTO TOWN. 251 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,570 GET YOURSELF A TATTOO. 252 00:12:16,604 --> 00:12:19,172 I CAN'T. TOMORROW I'M TAKING THE BABY TO THE PARK 253 00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:21,475 AND THEN THE ZOO, AND THEN I'M TAKING HIM GOLFING. 254 00:12:21,509 --> 00:12:23,877 I THINK HE HAS REAL TALENT. 255 00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:27,415 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU SOUND LIKE YOU'RE ACTUALLY ENJOYING THIS. 256 00:12:27,448 --> 00:12:30,951 I AM. I MEAN, I KNOW I COMPLAINED AT THE START, 257 00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:33,521 BUT, DICK, THIS IS THE FIRST ASSIGNMENT I'VE HAD 258 00:12:33,554 --> 00:12:36,657 WHERE I REALLY FEEL LIKE I'M USING ALL OF ME. 259 00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:40,027 IT SOUNDS CRAZY, BUT I CANNOT DO ENOUGH FOR HIM. 260 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:43,063 THE MORE HE NEEDS ME, THE MORE I NEED HIM. 261 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:43,697 [GASPS] 262 00:12:43,731 --> 00:12:44,865 I HAVE A GREAT IDEA. WHAT? 263 00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:47,067 LET'S WAKE HIM UP AND THEN ROCK HIM BACK TO SLEEP. 264 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,936 NO! WHY NOT? 265 00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,037 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? 266 00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,740 IT'S AS IF THIS BABY HAS MADE YOU GO ALL SOFT. 267 00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:54,575 IT'S BROKEN DOWN YOUR DEFENSES. 268 00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:57,378 I KNOW. HE'S MY WITTLE BUNNY RABBIT. 269 00:12:57,411 --> 00:12:59,012 GOD, WHAT KIND OF TALK IS THAT? 270 00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:00,381 YOU'RE A WEAPONS EXPERT. 271 00:13:00,414 --> 00:13:03,116 I'M STILL A WARRIOR. IT'S JUST NOW I'M THE PROTECTOR, 272 00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:04,485 NOT THE AGGRESSOR. 273 00:13:04,518 --> 00:13:07,087 I'M GOING TO SLEEP. 274 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,990 YOU CAN'T. I'VE TUCKED HIM IN YOUR BED. 275 00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:12,626 AS HIGH COMMANDER, I ORDER YOU TO UNTUCK HIM AT ONCE! 276 00:13:12,660 --> 00:13:15,128 DICK, I'M NOT TAKING ORDERS FROM YOU ANYMORE. 277 00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:19,232 I'M TAKING ORDERS FROM A HIGHER COMMANDER. HIS RANK? BABY! 278 00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:21,869 W-W-WAIT. WHERE AM I GOING TO SLEEP? 279 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,637 USE HIS ROOM. 280 00:13:23,671 --> 00:13:25,038 [SLAM] 281 00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:29,343 FINE. 282 00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:39,687 MORNING, CHILDREN. 283 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,522 HELLO, SNOWFLAKE. 284 00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:46,760 WHERE'S EVERYBODY ELSE? 285 00:13:46,794 --> 00:13:49,963 COME OUT. COME OUT. 286 00:13:49,997 --> 00:13:52,900 WHY, SNOWFLAKE, YOU'RE LOOKING A LITTLE BLOATED. 287 00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:57,538 OH, MY GOD! 288 00:13:57,571 --> 00:13:58,706 YOU BAD FISH! 289 00:13:58,739 --> 00:14:00,340 BAD, BAD FISH! 290 00:14:00,374 --> 00:14:03,511 WHERE'S THAT BRINE SHRIMP? 291 00:14:03,544 --> 00:14:05,813 SEE? NONE FOR YOU. 292 00:14:08,616 --> 00:14:10,918 DICK. 293 00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:12,953 MARY, YOU'VE COME BACK EARLY. 294 00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:16,156 THE CONFERENCE WAS A DISASTER. I HAD TO GET OUT OF THERE. 295 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,491 ARE YOU SURE THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA? 296 00:14:17,525 --> 00:14:19,092 MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO BACK. 297 00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:23,464 NO. BESIDES, I MISSED YOU. 298 00:14:23,497 --> 00:14:27,968 I WAS SO LO-- 299 00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:28,769 WHERE'S MY FISH? 300 00:14:28,802 --> 00:14:30,471 D-OH. THERE'S YOUR FISH. 301 00:14:30,504 --> 00:14:32,606 THAT'S NOT MY FISH. OH, SURE IT IS. 302 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:33,641 YOU KILLED MY FISH! 303 00:14:33,674 --> 00:14:36,577 NO, I DIDN'T. HE DID! 304 00:14:36,610 --> 00:14:37,911 YOU JACKASS! 305 00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:40,247 YEAH, YOU JACKASS! 306 00:14:42,683 --> 00:14:44,485 HELLO, SWEETHEART. 307 00:14:44,518 --> 00:14:46,520 CAN YOU SAY MY NAME? 308 00:14:46,554 --> 00:14:47,688 SALLY. 309 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:50,924 NO. 310 00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:52,526 SAL-LY. 311 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:54,161 NO. 312 00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:56,964 S-S-SAL-LY. 313 00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:59,032 NO. 314 00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:02,970 SAL-LY. 315 00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:04,972 YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULDN'T TRY SO HARD. 316 00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:06,807 KIDS DEVELOP AT DIFFERENT RATES, 317 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:10,277 AND RESISTANCE IS THE SIGN OF AN ANALYTICAL MIND. 318 00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:12,880 REALLY? NO. 319 00:15:12,913 --> 00:15:15,215 YOU DON'T LISTEN TO HIM. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO? 320 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,917 I'M GONNA FIND MR. SOCK MONKEY. 321 00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:18,686 YOU LIKE MR. SOCK MONKEY, RIGHT? 322 00:15:18,719 --> 00:15:21,889 SALLY? OH, SALLY, I FEEL JUST AWFUL. 323 00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:24,024 I'VE KILLED THE FISH OF THE WOMAN I LOVE. 324 00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:26,660 UH-HUH. COME ON, MR. SOCK MONKEY. WHERE ARE YA? 325 00:15:26,694 --> 00:15:28,228 THOSE FISH WERE EVERYTHING TO HER. 326 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,330 I'VE GOT TO FIND SOMETHING TO REPLACE THEM. 327 00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,866 COME ON OUT, YOU ARGYLE PIECE OF CRAP! 328 00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:34,635 SALLY, HELLO. 329 00:15:34,668 --> 00:15:36,904 SHE CAN'T HEAR YOU, DICK. SHE CAN ONLY HEAR THE BABY. 330 00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:39,239 HARRY, HAVE YOU SEEN MR. SOCK MONKEY? 331 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:40,741 WHY, NO. 332 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:46,814 WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME? I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM ALL DAY. 333 00:15:46,847 --> 00:15:49,483 * LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA 334 00:15:49,517 --> 00:15:51,251 IT'S PROBABLY IN THE BEDROOM. 335 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,621 CALL ME IF HE NEEDS ANYTHING. 336 00:15:53,654 --> 00:15:55,455 WHAT AM I GONNA DO? 337 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,998 WELL, HELLO. 338 00:16:06,867 --> 00:16:10,337 SOCK MONKEY! HA HA. 339 00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:12,640 GIVE IT TO ME! 340 00:16:12,673 --> 00:16:14,742 YES. YES. 341 00:16:14,775 --> 00:16:17,410 YOU SHOULD DO JUST FINE. 342 00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:19,580 YOU MIGHT EVEN FIT IN THE TANK. 343 00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:28,822 MARY! MARY... DO YOU REMEMBER HOW I KILLED YOUR FISH? 344 00:16:28,856 --> 00:16:30,057 NO. 345 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:31,358 WELL, I DID, 346 00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,360 BUT I BROUGHT YOU SOMETHING TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. 347 00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:34,928 COME ON IN. 348 00:16:38,732 --> 00:16:39,967 WHOSE BABY IS THAT? 349 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,836 MINE. WELL, NOT FOR KEEPS. 350 00:16:42,870 --> 00:16:46,239 IT'S REALLY SALLY'S. I MEAN, SHE GOT IT FROM MRS. DUBCEK. 351 00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:48,709 LET'S JUST CALL IT A RENTAL. 352 00:16:48,742 --> 00:16:50,711 COME ON, PLAY WITH HIM. 353 00:16:50,744 --> 00:16:53,246 DICK, YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE THAT CHILD BACK TO ITS MOTHER. 354 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:57,050 JUST HOLD HIM. I GUARANTEE YOU'LL LIKE IT. 355 00:16:57,084 --> 00:16:58,218 I'M SERIOUS. 356 00:16:58,251 --> 00:16:59,787 TAKE HIM FOR A SPIN AROUND THE BLOCK, 357 00:16:59,820 --> 00:17:01,755 THEN WE'LL TALK. 358 00:17:01,789 --> 00:17:05,325 THERE YOU ARE! THERE YOU ARE. 359 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:09,229 I'LL DEAL WITH YOU AS SOON AS I DEAL WITH YOU, SWEETIE. 360 00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:11,264 COME ON, HONEY. COME ON, DICK! 361 00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:19,640 Dick: WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY? 362 00:17:19,673 --> 00:17:21,408 Sally: I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU. 363 00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:22,442 YOU FOUND HIM. 364 00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:26,146 OH, GOOD. NOW WE CAN STOP LOOKING. 365 00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:28,115 I WAS GONNA BRING HIM RIGHT BACK, LIEUTENANT. 366 00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:30,618 IF I WERE A GOOD MOTHER, I'D PUSH YOU DOWN THOSE STAIRS. 367 00:17:30,651 --> 00:17:31,518 YOU'RE NOT A MOTHER. 368 00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,286 TECHNICALLY, NO, BUT THAT'S GONNA CHANGE. 369 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:34,421 HOW? 370 00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:35,989 I'VE DECIDED TO KEEP THE BABY. 371 00:17:36,023 --> 00:17:37,057 NO! WHAT?! 372 00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:38,592 YOU CAN'T. HE'S NOT YOURS. 373 00:17:38,626 --> 00:17:40,694 I'M WILLING TO OVERLOOK THAT. 374 00:17:40,728 --> 00:17:42,596 HE NEEDS ME. HE'S HELPLESS. 375 00:17:42,630 --> 00:17:46,333 AND WHAT AM I?! 376 00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:47,500 YOU CAN'T KEEP HIM. THEY HAVE RULES ABOUT THESE THINGS. 377 00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:50,037 THEY HAVE LAWS ABOUT THESE THINGS. 378 00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:52,640 THEY HAVE TV MOVIES ABOUT THESE THINGS! 379 00:17:52,673 --> 00:17:55,375 DICK, I'M KEEPING HIM. THAT'S FINAL. 380 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,811 Mrs. Dubcek: HELLO? ANYBODY HOME? 381 00:17:57,845 --> 00:17:58,712 I HAVE TO HIDE HIM. 382 00:17:58,746 --> 00:17:59,813 WHAT? 383 00:17:59,847 --> 00:18:02,883 YOU'RE COMING RIGHT BACK IN HERE THIS INSTANT. SALLY! 384 00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,619 THANKS SO MUCH FOR WATCHING MY GRANDSON. 385 00:18:05,653 --> 00:18:08,789 I HAVE BEEN TO HELL AND BACK. 386 00:18:08,822 --> 00:18:10,023 I WON'T BORE YOU. 387 00:18:10,057 --> 00:18:12,292 YOU'RE TOO LATE. 388 00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:14,361 WELL, WHERE IS MY LITTLE FELLA? 389 00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,697 UH, MRS. DUBCEK, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 390 00:18:16,730 --> 00:18:17,965 WE'RE HAVING A PROBLEM WITH OUR OVEN. 391 00:18:17,998 --> 00:18:19,132 WHAT KIND OF PROBLEM? 392 00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,168 HOW SHOULD I KNOW? YOU'RE A LANDLADY. YOU TELL US. 393 00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:22,703 HARRY, SHOW MRS. DUBCEK TO THE OVEN. 394 00:18:22,736 --> 00:18:24,872 STUFF HER IN IT IF YOU HAVE TO. 395 00:18:24,905 --> 00:18:26,073 SALLY! 396 00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:26,907 IS SHE GONE YET? NO. 397 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,041 THEN WE'RE NOT COMING OUT. 398 00:18:28,075 --> 00:18:30,010 I ORDER YOU TO THINK THIS THROUGH. 399 00:18:30,043 --> 00:18:31,044 OK. HMM. NO! 400 00:18:31,078 --> 00:18:32,746 D-OH. SALLY-- 401 00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:37,685 YOUR OVEN SEEMS FINE. I'LL JUST GET MY LITTLE BOY, 402 00:18:37,718 --> 00:18:38,819 AND I'LL BE ON MY WAY. 403 00:18:38,852 --> 00:18:41,655 SO SOON? MRS. DUBCEK, 404 00:18:41,689 --> 00:18:43,757 WE'VE BEEN LIVING IN THIS ATTIC FOR ALMOST A YEAR NOW, 405 00:18:43,791 --> 00:18:46,159 AND WE KNOW VERY LITTLE ABOUT YOU. SIT DOWN. 406 00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:48,295 TELL US EVERYTHING. LEAVE NOTHING OUT. 407 00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:48,996 WHAT? 408 00:18:49,029 --> 00:18:50,163 EVERYTHING. TRAVEL. MARRIAGES. 409 00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:52,165 MEDICAL HISTORY. 410 00:18:52,199 --> 00:18:55,368 WELL, THERE'S A DOCTOR IN MEXICO 411 00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:58,438 THAT ONCE SAID I HAD THE EXACT DNA OF A LEMUR. 412 00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,340 WHOO. WHOO. WHOO. 413 00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:04,544 THAT'S SO FASCINATING. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. SALLY! 414 00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:06,513 WELL, HERE HE IS. 415 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,515 YOU HAVE TO GO HOME NOW, BABY. 416 00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:11,719 THERE'S MY LITTLE MAN. 417 00:19:13,754 --> 00:19:14,554 BYE, BABY. 418 00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,990 BYE, SALLY. 419 00:19:17,024 --> 00:19:20,560 COME ON, SWEETHEART. OOH, WHAT A BIG BOY YOU ARE. 420 00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:30,137 WELL...THANK GOD HE'S GONE. 421 00:19:33,106 --> 00:19:35,375 I'M GONNA MISS HIM. 422 00:19:39,780 --> 00:19:43,583 EXCUSE ME. I'M GONNA GO TAKE CARE OF THE OTHER BABY. 423 00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,452 WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? 424 00:19:45,485 --> 00:19:46,854 I THOUGHT YOU LOVED HIM. 425 00:19:46,887 --> 00:19:48,321 I DO. 426 00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:51,024 THEN WHY DID YOU SUDDENLY GIVE HIM BACK? 427 00:19:51,058 --> 00:19:52,225 I GUESS I LOVE HIM ENOUGH TO KNOW 428 00:19:52,259 --> 00:19:55,128 THAT HIS REAL MOM NEEDS HIM MORE THAN I DO. 429 00:19:55,162 --> 00:20:00,000 I MEAN...WHEN I COULDN'T FIND HIM, I WENT CRAZY. 430 00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:02,269 I COULDN'T PUT HIS MOTHER THROUGH THAT. 431 00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:03,937 WHY DON'T YOU HAVE ONE OF YOUR OWN? 432 00:20:03,971 --> 00:20:06,039 OH, YEAH, THAT WOULD BE GREAT. 433 00:20:06,073 --> 00:20:07,875 WHY DON'T YOU GO FOR IT? 434 00:20:07,908 --> 00:20:11,578 YEAH, RIGHT, AND LET THIS BODY GO TO HELL? 435 00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:16,583 [DOORBELL RINGS] 436 00:20:19,787 --> 00:20:22,322 MARY, WE HAVE TO TALK. 437 00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:23,523 YOU HAVE A DOG. 438 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:26,794 YES. MARY, I WANT EVERYTHING TO GO BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS 439 00:20:26,827 --> 00:20:29,362 BEFORE I KILLED YOUR FISH. 440 00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:31,498 I'M AFRAID THAT'S GOING TO TAKE SOME TIME. 441 00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:34,234 I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO LOSE SOMETHING THAT YOU CARE ABOUT. 442 00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:37,304 WHAT I DID WAS VERY, VERY WRONG. 443 00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:39,840 WHY DO YOU HAVE A DOG? 444 00:20:39,873 --> 00:20:40,607 I WENT TO THE PET STORE 445 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:41,875 TO BUY YOU SOME NEW FISH, 446 00:20:41,909 --> 00:20:44,812 AND I SAW THIS CUTE LITTLE GUY. 447 00:20:44,845 --> 00:20:47,014 OH, DICK, I CAN'T TAKE CARE OF A DOG. 448 00:20:47,047 --> 00:20:49,182 IF YOU CAN LOVE A FISH, YOU CAN LOVE A DOG. 449 00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:52,485 HE IS KIND OF CUTE. 450 00:20:53,987 --> 00:20:55,989 COME HERE, BOY. UNH. 451 00:20:56,023 --> 00:20:59,326 OH, LOOK AT HIM. HE LOVES YOU, MARY. 452 00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:01,328 HE'S SO CUTE. 453 00:21:04,364 --> 00:21:07,434 DON'T RESIST HIM. LET YOURSELF BE HUMAN. 454 00:21:09,937 --> 00:21:13,440 HE LOVES YOU. MARY, HE REALLY LOVES YOU. 30785

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