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1
00:00:12,581 --> 00:00:15,584
HIGH COMMANDER'S LOG.
2
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:21,022
MAKE THAT
FORMER HIGH COMMANDER.
3
00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:22,190
I AM WRITING THIS
4
00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:25,560
SO THAT FUTURE GENERATIONS
WILL KNOW THE TRUTH.
5
00:00:25,594 --> 00:00:28,362
IT ALL BEGAN
TWO DAYS AGO...
6
00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:30,031
OK, WHERE'S MY SHOES?
7
00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:34,368
WELL I THINK I SAW ONE OF
THEM RIGHT OVER THERE...
8
00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:37,505
HARRY RECEIVED A MESSAGE
FROM THE BIG GIANT HEAD
9
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,741
SAYING THAT I WAS
TO BE REPLACED
10
00:00:39,774 --> 00:00:42,210
THE VERY NEXT NIGHT.
11
00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:44,445
CRUELLY, THAT
WAS THE VERY NIGHT
12
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:49,083
THAT MARY FINALLY SAID,
"I CARE ABOUT YOU."
13
00:00:49,117 --> 00:00:52,153
OH, MARY, YOU UNDERSTAND
MY EVERY THOUGHT.
14
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:53,454
I UNDERSTAND.
15
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,624
YOU'VE HAD THE MILK.
WHY BUY THE COW?
16
00:00:55,657 --> 00:00:56,825
NO, MARY.
17
00:00:56,858 --> 00:00:58,326
I WANT YOU.
18
00:00:58,359 --> 00:01:00,494
I WANT THE COW!
19
00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:04,933
BUT I WAS SUMMONED
INTO THE BASEMENT
20
00:01:04,966 --> 00:01:07,435
TO MEET MY REPLACEMENT,
21
00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:11,572
AND HERE I AM
IN THIS ENCASEMENT.
22
00:01:11,606 --> 00:01:13,775
NO.
23
00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:17,612
I MUST MAKE AN ERASEMENT.
24
00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:26,487
IGNORING ALL
MILITARY PROTOCOL,
25
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,658
HE CONFINED ME
IN THIS INVISIBLE BOX.
26
00:01:29,691 --> 00:01:31,926
HA HA HA HA HA.
27
00:01:35,096 --> 00:01:36,965
OH, MY GOD!
28
00:01:36,998 --> 00:01:39,901
HE'S TURNED ME
INTO A MIME!
29
00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:50,879
WHAT'S GOING ON
IN THAT PAN?
30
00:01:50,912 --> 00:01:51,846
I'M COOKING SAUSAGES.
31
00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:55,383
THOSE ARE LINKS.
I LIKE PATTIES.
32
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:56,284
I'M SORRY, SIR.
33
00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:58,386
SORRY WON'T DO.
PRESS THAT MEAT,
SOLDIER.
34
00:01:58,419 --> 00:02:00,922
I LIKE MY LINKS
FLAT.
35
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:09,597
WHO ATE
MY STRAWBERRIES?
36
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:10,699
STRAWBERRIES?
37
00:02:10,732 --> 00:02:12,033
I HAD A PINT OF STRAWBERRIES
IN HERE
38
00:02:12,066 --> 00:02:14,202
WITH A NOTE
CLEARLY MARKED "MINE."
39
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:15,937
I DIDN'T TAKE THEM.
IT WASN'T ME.
40
00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:22,310
MAN, THEM STRAWBERRIES
WAS GOOD EATIN'.
41
00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:32,253
IT IS BECOMING
ALL TOO CLEAR
42
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:36,224
HOW MY PREDECESSOR
CHOSE TO RUN THINGS.
43
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:37,859
YOU WILL FIND
THINGS TO BE
QUITE DIFFERENT
44
00:02:37,892 --> 00:02:39,761
UNDER MY COMMAND,
TOMMY.
45
00:02:39,794 --> 00:02:42,163
UH, NO, I'M HARRY.
46
00:02:43,832 --> 00:02:46,234
NO. I HAVE DECIDED
THAT FROM NOW ON,
47
00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:48,069
YOU'LL BE KNOWN
AS TOMMY.
48
00:02:48,102 --> 00:02:49,904
WHAT ABOUT ME?
49
00:02:49,938 --> 00:02:52,774
YOU WILL BE KNOWN
AS TOMMY, TOO.
50
00:02:52,807 --> 00:02:53,742
YEAH, BUT WAIT, WAIT.
51
00:02:53,775 --> 00:02:56,510
TOMMY AND THEN
THE NUMBER 2
OR TOMMY, AS WELL?
52
00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:59,480
YOU WILL ALL
BE KNOWN AS TOMMY!
53
00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:01,615
AND THAT'S NOT ALL.
LIEUTENANT.
54
00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:03,718
FROM NOW ON,
YOU WILL WEAR SKIRTS.
55
00:03:03,752 --> 00:03:05,219
SKIRTS?
56
00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:08,122
SOMETHING LONG
THAT LOOKS PRETTY
WHEN YOU TWIRL.
57
00:03:08,156 --> 00:03:09,758
AND STAY AWAY
FROM PLEATS.
58
00:03:09,791 --> 00:03:11,392
YOU KNOW,
NOTHING TOO FUSSY.
59
00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:13,728
OK.
60
00:03:13,762 --> 00:03:16,097
FURTHERMORE, WHEN COUPONS
ARRIVE IN THE MAIL,
61
00:03:16,130 --> 00:03:19,000
I GET FIRST DIBS.
62
00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:22,536
I MAY OPEN A BOX OF CEREAL
TO GET THE PRIZE,
63
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,906
BUT I DO NOT THEN
HAVE TO EAT...
64
00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:27,175
THE CEREAL.
65
00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:30,779
THE BATHROOM
HAS BEEN STOCKED
66
00:03:30,812 --> 00:03:32,346
WITH TWO KINDS
OF TOILET PAPER.
67
00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:34,816
I AND I ALONE...
68
00:03:34,849 --> 00:03:36,885
GET THE QUILTED KIND.
69
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:40,554
YOU WILL GO TO A BARBER.
70
00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:41,790
I WILL GO TO A STYLIST.
71
00:03:41,823 --> 00:03:43,391
NOW, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT.
72
00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:44,759
WE HAVE SO MUCH MORE
HAIR THAN YOU DO.
73
00:03:44,793 --> 00:03:48,596
YOU WILL NEVER MENTION
THAT AGAIN!
74
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:52,066
HAVE I MADE MYSELF
CLEAR, TOMMY?
75
00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:53,701
YES.
YES.
YES.
76
00:04:25,133 --> 00:04:26,567
WHEN SOMEONE ASKS YOU
WHAT TIME IT IS,
77
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,937
YOU DO NOT SAY,
"IT'S TIME TO DIE."
78
00:04:32,173 --> 00:04:34,308
Evil Dick: AND WHERE
DO I GO FOR WORK?
79
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:35,243
Tommy: THE UNIVERSITY.
80
00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:36,310
AH.
81
00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:38,546
SO I RUN
THE UNIVERSITY.
82
00:04:39,914 --> 00:04:43,284
UH, NOT SO MUCH RUN.
YOU TEACH A PHYSICS CLASS.
83
00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:45,319
I'M A TEACHER?!
84
00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:48,622
WHAT, WERE ALL
THE JANITORS'
JOBS TAKEN?!
85
00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:50,024
SIX MONTHS
ON THIS PLANET,
86
00:04:50,058 --> 00:04:51,792
AND THAT'S ALL
MY PREDECESSOR
ACHIEVED.
87
00:04:51,826 --> 00:04:53,527
HOW PITIFUL!
88
00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:54,829
HE WAS SPENDING
A LOT OF TIME
89
00:04:54,863 --> 00:04:56,797
ON THAT WHOLE
DR. ALBRIGHT THING.
90
00:04:56,831 --> 00:04:59,567
AH, YES. MARY.
91
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,937
I'VE GOT PLANS FOR HER.
92
00:05:09,177 --> 00:05:12,246
THERE'S MY GIRL.
93
00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:14,448
I FEEL SO PRETTY.
94
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:17,118
NOW PAY ATTENTION.
95
00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:18,219
I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT
FOR YOU.
96
00:05:18,252 --> 00:05:19,921
LIEUTENANT,
TAKE THIS DOWN.
97
00:05:19,954 --> 00:05:22,891
I WILL REQUIRE
THE FOLLOWING ITEMS:
98
00:05:22,924 --> 00:05:27,161
500 ROLLS OF SILVER
REFLECTIVE DUCT TAPE,
99
00:05:27,195 --> 00:05:30,264
144 CERAMIC CUSTARD CUPS,
100
00:05:30,298 --> 00:05:33,534
ONE SUBATOMIC SPECTROMETER,
AND ONE TURKEY BASTER.
101
00:05:35,036 --> 00:05:37,838
YOU SEE, I'M BUILDING
THE GREATEST INCUBATOR
102
00:05:37,872 --> 00:05:41,775
THESE PUNY HUMANS
HAVE EVER KNOWN.
103
00:05:41,809 --> 00:05:43,945
AND WHEN IT IS COMPLETED,
104
00:05:43,978 --> 00:05:47,748
I WILL SPAWN MY OWN
PRIVATE ARMY OF...
105
00:05:51,219 --> 00:05:52,486
OF...
106
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,556
FUZZY EASTER CHICKS.
107
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:57,625
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU
LOOKING AT?
108
00:05:57,658 --> 00:05:59,093
YOU HAVE YOUR ASSIGNMENT.
HOP TO IT!
109
00:05:59,127 --> 00:05:59,894
CAN YOU GIVE US
A RIDE?
110
00:05:59,928 --> 00:06:03,131
NO! THE CAR IS MINE
AND MINE ALONE.
111
00:06:03,164 --> 00:06:06,901
YOU'RE HUMANS.
USE YOUR FEET.
112
00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:14,808
YOU KNOW, I WAS THIS CLOSE
TO KICKING HIS BUTT.
113
00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:19,513
YEAH, I WAS GONNA
KICK HIS BUTT,
114
00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:22,716
BUT, YOU KNOW,
I FIGURED YOU'D DO IT.
115
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:23,817
WELL, WHEN HE
COMES BACK,
116
00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:24,919
I'M KICKING
HIS BUTT.
117
00:06:24,953 --> 00:06:26,120
ALL RIGHT.
118
00:06:26,154 --> 00:06:27,956
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
COMPLAINING ABOUT,
HUH?
119
00:06:27,989 --> 00:06:30,258
I DESERVED HIS JOB.
I SHOULD BE
HIGH COMMANDER.
120
00:06:30,291 --> 00:06:32,460
I HAD THE SENIORITY,
I KNOW THE TERRITORY.
121
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:35,129
SO WHY WASN'T
I PROMOTED? HUH?
122
00:06:35,163 --> 00:06:36,097
BECAUSE I'M THE WOMAN.
123
00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:39,267
ONCE AGAIN, THE WOMAN
WAS PASSED OVER!
124
00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:40,668
YOU WANT ME
TO KICK HIS BUTT?
125
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,436
OH, HARRY!
126
00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:44,005
THERE'S NOT GONNA BE
ANY BUTT-KICKING, OK?
127
00:06:44,038 --> 00:06:45,639
HE'S HIGH COMMANDER,
AND, LIKE IT OR NOT,
128
00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:47,775
WE'RE SWORN TO FOLLOW HIM.
129
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:50,844
ANYWAY, MAYBE
THIS MISSION COULD USE
A LITTLE DISCIPLINE.
130
00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:53,447
YEAH. NICE SKIRT,
TOMMY.
131
00:06:57,051 --> 00:06:59,487
ALL RIGHT,
HOW DO YOU WORK A CAR?
132
00:07:03,124 --> 00:07:04,058
SEE,
IT'S THE DIFFERENCE
133
00:07:04,092 --> 00:07:07,395
BETWEEN GOOD FABRIC
AND CHEAP FABRIC.
134
00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:12,900
THEN AGAIN, MY THIRD HUSBAND
LIKED THEM CHEAP.
135
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:16,170
YES, YES.
THAT'S FASCINATING.
136
00:07:16,204 --> 00:07:17,605
SAY, DR. SOLOMON,
137
00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:20,608
COULD YOU COME OVER
AND GIVE ME A HAND
WITH MY LINT TRAP?
138
00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:25,313
OH, I...
139
00:07:25,346 --> 00:07:27,481
I'D LOVE TO, REALLY,
BUT I'M AFRAID
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
140
00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:30,351
YOU SEE,
I HAVE A BAD BACK.
141
00:07:30,384 --> 00:07:31,885
I THINK I KNOW WHY
YOU'RE DOWN HERE.
142
00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:32,853
SAME REASON
MY SECOND HUSBAND
143
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:36,257
USED TO COME
DOWN HERE.
144
00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:39,560
BOTTLE OF SCOTCH
HIDDEN IN
THE INSULATION.
145
00:07:41,362 --> 00:07:42,963
OF COURSE,
I ALWAYS KNEW.
146
00:07:42,997 --> 00:07:46,100
THE PINK FUZZ
IN HIS BEARD
GAVE HIM AWAY.
147
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,873
[PANTING]
148
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,642
MRS. DUBCEK.
149
00:07:59,380 --> 00:08:01,549
YES?
150
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:04,585
I NEED YOU
TO DO ME A FAVOR.
151
00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:09,557
COULD YOU GO UPSTAIRS
AND TELL SALLY
THAT I'M DOWN HERE?
152
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:12,793
BUT IF YOU SEE ME
STANDING THERE--
153
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,828
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT--
154
00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:19,367
DON'T SAY ANYTHING
TO ME.
155
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:22,236
JUST TAKE SALLY ASIDE
AND WHISPER IT TO HER,
156
00:08:22,270 --> 00:08:26,674
AND WHATEVER YOU DO,
MAKE SURE I DON'T HEAR YOU.
157
00:08:29,177 --> 00:08:31,212
COME AGAIN?
158
00:08:34,182 --> 00:08:35,516
NEVER MIND.
159
00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:37,385
[BONK]
160
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:57,305
STOP IT.
161
00:08:57,338 --> 00:08:59,240
OH, HERE'S
THE DUCT TAPE.
162
00:08:59,273 --> 00:09:00,040
HOW MUCH
DO WE NEED?
163
00:09:00,074 --> 00:09:03,211
UH, 500 ROLLS,
SILVER REFLECTIVE.
164
00:09:03,244 --> 00:09:05,646
OH, WELL, HOW ABOUT
EIGHT ROLLS
OF SORT OF GRAYISH?
165
00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:07,615
THAT'S FINE.
166
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:09,450
WHAT DO YOU THINK
DICK'S DOING NOW?
167
00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:11,285
YOU KNOW,
OLD DICK.
168
00:09:11,319 --> 00:09:12,386
YOU DON'T THINK
THEY REASSIGNED HIM
169
00:09:12,420 --> 00:09:13,721
TO THE BROWN PLANET,
DO YOU?
170
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:15,456
OHH.
171
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:20,161
DENNIS!
172
00:09:20,194 --> 00:09:22,230
TOM, SALLY, HARRY,
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
DOING HERE?
173
00:09:22,263 --> 00:09:24,898
WELL, WE JUST
HAD TO PICK UP
SOME DUCT TAPE HERE.
174
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,700
NO, I MEAN ON EARTH.
175
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:28,269
OH, WELL, WE'RE
DOING THAT THING
176
00:09:28,302 --> 00:09:30,304
WHERE WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE A HUMAN FAMILY.
177
00:09:30,338 --> 00:09:32,273
OH, I DODGED
THAT ASSIGNMENT.
178
00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:35,809
WE'VE SEEN YOU ON TV, MAN.
18 REBOUNDS A GAME.
179
00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:37,811
DON'T PEOPLE
SUSPECT ANYTHING?
180
00:09:39,513 --> 00:09:41,215
LOOK AT YOU.
THE HAIR, THE TATTOOS.
181
00:09:41,249 --> 00:09:44,618
LIKE YOU COULD
BE HUMAN.
182
00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:48,021
THEY THINK I'M WEIRD
OR SOMETHING.
183
00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:49,490
I HEAR THAT.
184
00:09:49,523 --> 00:09:51,525
LISTEN, DENNIS,
I GOTTA ASK YOU.
185
00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:54,027
MADONNA,
WHERE'S SHE FROM?
186
00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:54,895
DETROIT.
187
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,130
DETROIT, EARTH?
188
00:09:56,164 --> 00:09:57,765
GET OUT.
NO!
189
00:09:57,798 --> 00:10:00,201
SHE'S HERE.
SHE'S HERE.
190
00:10:00,234 --> 00:10:01,602
OH, WHAT ABOUT
MICHAEL JORDAN?
191
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,036
ROBOT.
192
00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:04,805
YEAH. I TOLD YOU SO.
SEE?
193
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,607
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
194
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,842
WELL, GUYS,
I GOTTA BE GOING.
195
00:10:08,876 --> 00:10:11,412
PROCEED BOLDLY
AND WITH STEALTH.
196
00:10:12,413 --> 00:10:14,315
JAM ON.
197
00:10:27,295 --> 00:10:30,798
I LIKE WHAT YOU'VE DONE
WITH YOUR DESK.
198
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,666
WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO DO IT...
199
00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:34,368
TO YOURS?
200
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:39,307
NO. I LIKE IT MESSY.
201
00:10:39,340 --> 00:10:41,509
BAD GIRL.
202
00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:43,811
SO, DR. ALBRIGHT,
REFRESH MY MEMORY.
203
00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:48,115
HAVE YOU AND I...
HAD SEX YET?
204
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,718
WHY, YES. I BELIEVE WE HAVE.
205
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,221
HOW WAS IT?
206
00:10:53,254 --> 00:10:56,424
IT WAS...NICE.
207
00:10:56,457 --> 00:11:00,093
NEXT TIME IT WON'T BE
SO NICE.
208
00:11:05,233 --> 00:11:07,601
UM, WHAT DID
YOU DO TO HIM?
209
00:11:07,635 --> 00:11:09,303
I DON'T KNOW, NINA.
210
00:11:09,337 --> 00:11:12,005
NINA, WHERE'S THAT
COMPREHENSIVE COURSE
SYLLABUS?
211
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:13,874
YOU ONLY ASKED ME
TO DO IT 10 MINUTES AGO.
212
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:14,542
I'M NOT A MACHINE.
213
00:11:14,575 --> 00:11:18,446
MMM. PITY.
214
00:11:18,479 --> 00:11:20,548
WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
TRYING TO SHOW OFF
IN FRONT OF HER?
215
00:11:20,581 --> 00:11:22,483
I DON'T HAVE
TO SHOW OFF.
216
00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:26,186
I JUST HAVE TO...
SHOW UP.
217
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:31,091
ISN'T HE NAUGHTY?
218
00:11:35,496 --> 00:11:37,998
OLD DICK WOULD HAVE
NEVER ORDERED US OUT
ONTO THE ROOF.
219
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,132
YEAH, WELL, EXCEPT
FOR THAT ONE TIME
220
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:40,701
HE ORDERED US OUT
ON THE ROOF.
221
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:42,936
OH, WELL, THAT TIME.
222
00:11:44,372 --> 00:11:48,276
A SMALL FIRE
HAS BROKEN OUT
IN THE LIVING ROOM.
223
00:11:48,309 --> 00:11:52,145
THERE'S
A FIRE EXTINGUISHER
NEXT TO THE STOVE.
224
00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:55,449
THE STOVE IS
IN THE KITCHEN.
225
00:11:55,483 --> 00:11:57,485
OBVIOUSLY.
226
00:11:58,386 --> 00:11:59,787
THIS GUY'S
SUCH A HARD-ASS.
227
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:02,823
HEY, MAY I REMIND YOU
THAT THAT HARD-ASS
IS OUR HIGH COMMANDER?
228
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:03,957
WELL, YOU'RE
THE WEAPONS EXPERT.
229
00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:06,226
ISN'T THERE SOME WAY
TO GET RID OF HIM?
230
00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:08,362
NO. WE'RE STUCK
WITH HIM.
231
00:12:08,396 --> 00:12:10,030
WE CAN'T JUST FRAG HIM
WITH A GRENADE
232
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,565
WHILE HE'S
TAKING A SHOWER.
233
00:12:11,599 --> 00:12:12,533
HEY, BUT LISTEN.
234
00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:15,303
SHOWERS
ACCIDENTALLY EXPLODE
ALL THE TIME.
235
00:12:15,336 --> 00:12:16,604
I DIDN'T HEAR THAT,
SOLDIER.
236
00:12:16,637 --> 00:12:17,471
HE SAID THAT SHOWERS--
237
00:12:17,505 --> 00:12:19,440
SHUT UP!
238
00:12:19,473 --> 00:12:20,641
THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
239
00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:23,711
THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER
IS NOW ON FIRE.
240
00:12:25,346 --> 00:12:26,447
I MISS THE OLD DICK.
241
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:27,615
I MISS THE OLD DICK, TOO.
242
00:12:27,648 --> 00:12:30,518
WELL, MISSING HIM'S
NOT GONNA BRING HIM BACK.
243
00:12:30,551 --> 00:12:32,586
I WILL ADMIT THAT
THE OLD DICK'S METHODS
244
00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:34,522
WERE A LITTLE DIFFERENT
THAN THIS DICK,
245
00:12:34,555 --> 00:12:38,492
BUT IT'S NOT UP TO US
TO QUESTION
HIS DIRECTIVES, OK?
246
00:12:38,526 --> 00:12:41,161
HE'S IN COMMAND,
AND THAT'S THAT.
247
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:44,197
HE'S...
248
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:47,401
HE'S JUST MEAN,
AND THERE'S NOTHING
WE CAN DO ABOUT IT.
249
00:12:47,435 --> 00:12:50,103
YOU'RE GETTING
ALL WET. STOP.
250
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:52,373
NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
251
00:12:52,406 --> 00:12:55,275
AS DICK ALWAYS
USED TO SAY,
252
00:12:55,309 --> 00:12:58,111
"NEVER LET 'EM
SEE YOU LEAK."
253
00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:00,581
FIRE'S
OUT OF CONTROL.
254
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:02,816
I'LL BE BACK
IN TWO HOURS.
255
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,389
I MISS DICK.
256
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:21,669
[RING]
257
00:13:21,702 --> 00:13:23,270
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
258
00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:28,376
[RING]
259
00:13:28,409 --> 00:13:30,277
WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
260
00:13:31,879 --> 00:13:33,981
[RING]
261
00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:35,616
STOP IT.
262
00:13:36,684 --> 00:13:38,251
[RING]
263
00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:39,720
STOP IT!
264
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,293
HELLO.
265
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:49,162
DR. ALBRIGHT,
DINNER, MY PLACE,
TONIGHT.
266
00:13:50,431 --> 00:13:52,099
IS THAT AN INVITATION?
267
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:53,567
NO.
268
00:13:53,601 --> 00:13:55,035
WELL...
269
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:59,239
THE CAT THINKS HE HAS
THE MOUSE BY THE TAIL.
270
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:04,378
YES, BUT SOMETIMES
THE CAT LIKES TO PLAY
WITH HIS PREY
271
00:14:04,412 --> 00:14:07,180
BEFORE HE GOES IN
FOR THE KILL.
272
00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:10,117
WELL, THE CAT
MAY HAVE CLAWS,
273
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:13,020
BUT THE MOUSE IS QUICK.
274
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:14,287
TRUE.
275
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:18,692
BUT THE MOUSE
WILL ALWAYS FALL
FOR THE CHEESE.
276
00:14:20,761 --> 00:14:22,996
THE CAT LIKES
A LITTLE CHEESE, TOO.
277
00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:26,567
AND MILK
AND DEAD BIRDS.
278
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:30,270
BUT HE ALWAYS
LICKS HIMSELF CLEAN.
279
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,945
YOU WERE ASKING ME
TO DINNER.
280
00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:38,779
UH, YES.
281
00:14:38,812 --> 00:14:41,549
I'LL BE THERE.
282
00:14:41,582 --> 00:14:44,718
MREOWWW!
283
00:14:46,454 --> 00:14:48,922
NO! I'M THE CAT!
284
00:14:50,758 --> 00:14:52,993
HERE'S THE SYLLABUS
THAT YOU WANTED.
285
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:55,295
WHY, THIS IS BEAUTIFUL,
NINA.
286
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,597
SO...
287
00:14:56,630 --> 00:14:59,433
EXQUISITELY BEAUTIFUL.
288
00:14:59,467 --> 00:15:01,769
WELL, WE GOT A NEW
TONER CARTRIDGE--
289
00:15:01,802 --> 00:15:04,137
DON'T BE SO MODEST.
290
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,813
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
291
00:15:14,815 --> 00:15:17,250
ALL RIGHT.
292
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:21,655
[BELL RINGS]
293
00:15:33,867 --> 00:15:35,536
EXCUSE ME, THERE MUST BE
SOME MISTAKE.
294
00:15:35,569 --> 00:15:36,637
THIS CLASSROOM IS MINE.
295
00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:39,673
FIND YOUR OWN.
296
00:15:39,707 --> 00:15:42,142
DR. SOLOMON, WE WERE ALL
JUST WAITING FOR OUR GRADES.
297
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:43,143
OH.
298
00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:44,411
GRADES?
299
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:49,216
I DIDN'T REALIZE TEACHING
INVOLVED EVALUATION.
300
00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:51,719
VERY WELL.
301
00:15:51,752 --> 00:15:53,821
YOU NEED YOUR HAIR
STRAIGHTENED.
302
00:15:53,854 --> 00:15:55,789
YOU'RE TOO SHORT
FOR YOUR FACE.
303
00:15:55,823 --> 00:15:59,693
YOU HAVE
A MUSEUM-QUALITY TORSO.
304
00:15:59,727 --> 00:16:01,028
YOU...
305
00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:02,563
ARE HARMLESS.
306
00:16:02,596 --> 00:16:05,899
YOU WILL BE SPARED
AND USED TO CARRY
HEAVY THINGS.
307
00:16:05,933 --> 00:16:07,134
YOU--
308
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:10,137
DR. SOLOMON,
WE MEANT OUR
LETTER GRADES.
309
00:16:11,539 --> 00:16:13,541
I'VE DECIDED
TO GIVE YOU ALL...
310
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:16,877
Ds.
311
00:16:16,910 --> 00:16:17,678
WE GOT Ds.
312
00:16:17,711 --> 00:16:19,780
YAY!
YAY!
YAY!
313
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,253
Television: AWW!
314
00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:28,388
ISN'T THIS BEAUTIFUL?
315
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:29,590
I MEAN, LOOK AT HER,
316
00:16:29,623 --> 00:16:34,161
REUNITED WITH
THE BIRTH MOTHER
SHE NEVER KNEW.
317
00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:37,631
I LOVE RICKI LAKE.
318
00:16:37,665 --> 00:16:39,867
THE OTHER DAY,
THIS WOMAN FINALLY
CAME FACE TO FACE
319
00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:41,134
WITH HER STALKER.
320
00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:42,870
AND HE WAS SO SWEET,
321
00:16:42,903 --> 00:16:46,273
SHE AGREED TO GO OUT
ON A DATE WITH HIM.
322
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:47,975
MAYBE IF I WENT
ON THAT SHOW,
323
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:52,045
THEY WOULD REUNITE ME
WITH DICK.
324
00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:53,847
JOHNSON.
325
00:16:54,648 --> 00:16:55,515
DICK JOHNSON.
326
00:16:55,549 --> 00:16:57,050
LITTLE DICKIE JOHNSON.
327
00:16:57,084 --> 00:16:59,152
STOP LOOKING AT ME.
328
00:17:01,088 --> 00:17:03,924
AND WHO IS THIS
EXQUISITE CREATURE?
329
00:17:03,957 --> 00:17:05,158
UH,
330
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:07,828
MAYBE YOU'D BETTER
GO DOWNSTAIRS, MRS. DUBCEK.
331
00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:09,029
MRS. DUBCEK.
332
00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:11,031
I WILL SEE YOU
LATER...
333
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:13,066
MRS. DUBCEK.
334
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,711
MRRREOW!
335
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:28,515
TURN THAT RUBBISH OFF.
336
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:32,019
FROM NOW ON,
WE WATCH ONLY GOLF.
337
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:37,290
BUT I WAS GONNA WATCH
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW.
338
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:40,894
TRANSMISSION INCOMING
FROM THE BIG GIANT HEAD.
339
00:17:40,928 --> 00:17:41,962
WARNING!
340
00:17:41,995 --> 00:17:43,096
WARNING!
341
00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:45,098
DANGER! DANGER!
342
00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:46,634
DUE TO A CLERICAL ERROR,
343
00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:49,903
YOUR HIGH COMMANDER
MAY HAVE BEEN
ACCIDENTALLY REPLACED
344
00:17:49,937 --> 00:17:52,640
BY A DISGRUNTLED
FORMER EMPLOYEE
345
00:17:52,673 --> 00:17:54,642
OF THE BIG GIANT HEAD.
346
00:17:54,675 --> 00:17:59,146
HE SHOULD BE CONSIDERED ARMED
AND EXTREMELY UNPLEASANT.
347
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:00,380
AND REMEMBER,
348
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,482
WHEN YOU'RE THINKING
OF GIANT HEADS,
349
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,952
THINK OF THE BIG
GIANT HEAD.
350
00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:09,056
RESUME NORMAL FUNCTIONS
IN 3...
351
00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:10,190
2...
352
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:11,558
1.
353
00:18:18,999 --> 00:18:21,034
ALL RIGHT,
WHAT WAS IT?
354
00:18:21,068 --> 00:18:23,203
WRONG NUMBER.
355
00:18:31,745 --> 00:18:32,445
NOW, SHUT UP
356
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,682
AND GET ME
THAT TURKEY BASTER.
357
00:18:37,785 --> 00:18:41,221
WHY DON'T YOU MAKE ME
GET THE TURKEY BASTER?
358
00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:46,359
[SNORING]
359
00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:51,799
* HER NAME WAS LOLA
360
00:18:51,832 --> 00:18:53,767
* SHE WAS A SHOWGIRL
361
00:18:53,801 --> 00:18:55,635
* WITH YELLOW FEATHERS
IN HER HAIR *
362
00:18:55,669 --> 00:18:57,070
* AND A DRESS
CUT DOWN TO THERE *
363
00:18:57,104 --> 00:19:00,240
* SHE WOULD MERENGUE
364
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:01,241
HI, OLD DICK.
365
00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:02,976
* AND DO THE CHA-CHA
366
00:19:03,010 --> 00:19:05,078
* BUT THAT WAS 30 YEARS--
367
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:09,549
DICK!
HARRY!
368
00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:10,751
OHH!
OHH!
369
00:19:10,784 --> 00:19:13,553
OW!
OW! OW!
370
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:15,856
OW! OW! OW!
371
00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:22,162
INVISIBLE BOX?
372
00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:22,595
YEAH.
373
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:24,164
OH.
374
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:27,835
TOMMY! TOMMY!
375
00:19:27,868 --> 00:19:30,570
TOMMY!
376
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:31,238
Y-YES.
377
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:32,172
WHAT IS THE MEANING
OF THIS?
378
00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:35,008
I DISTINCTLY ASKED
FOR REFLECTIVE
DUCT TAPE.
379
00:19:35,042 --> 00:19:37,878
OH, UH, ABOUT THAT,
THAT WAS ALL THEY HAD.
380
00:19:37,911 --> 00:19:39,579
TYPICAL.
381
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:40,848
DID YOU GET
THE CUSTARD CUPS?
382
00:19:40,881 --> 00:19:43,383
UH, WE DIDN'T
SO MUCH GET THEM
383
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:46,153
AS--AS FAIL
TO GET THEM, SIR.
384
00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:49,589
DID YOU TRY JENNY'S
RESTAURANT SUPPLY
ON 5th STREET?
385
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:52,259
THEY'RE NOT OPEN
TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC.
386
00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:56,797
THAT'S RIGHT. CAN'T LET
JUST ANYONE MAKE CUSTARD.
387
00:19:56,830 --> 00:19:58,398
NO, OF COURSE NOT.
NOT ON THIS PLANET.
388
00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:01,334
NO, NO, THAT WOULD BE
TOO SIMPLE.
389
00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:04,237
NO, WE HAVE RETAIL,
AND WE HAVE WHOLESALE.
390
00:20:04,271 --> 00:20:07,074
WE HAVE PINK PACKETS
AND BLUE PACKETS.
391
00:20:07,107 --> 00:20:09,009
REPUBLICANS
AND DEMOCRATS
392
00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:12,112
AND THE PARTY
THAT CRAZY MIDGET
STARTED.
393
00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:20,020
SO MANY CHOICES.
394
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:22,522
HOW THEY ALL LOVE
THEIR FREE WILL.
395
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,125
EVERYBODY HAS A DIFFERENT
POINT OF VIEW.
396
00:20:25,158 --> 00:20:28,361
THERE SHOULD BE ONLY
ONE POINT OF VIEW.
397
00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:31,198
MY POINT OF VIEW!
398
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,403
WELL, I HAVE A MESSAGE
FOR THESE HUMANS.
399
00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:39,072
THE BUFFET IS
ABOUT TO CLOSE.
400
00:20:39,106 --> 00:20:41,775
FOREVER.
401
00:20:41,809 --> 00:20:44,244
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
402
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:55,222
[PANTING]
403
00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:55,923
AAAHH.
404
00:20:55,956 --> 00:20:57,157
WHAT IS IT, BOY?
405
00:20:57,190 --> 00:21:01,028
[PANTING]
406
00:21:01,061 --> 00:21:02,930
HE WANTS US
TO FOLLOW HIM.
407
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,002
DICK!
DICK!
408
00:21:09,036 --> 00:21:10,437
SALLY! LOOK OUT!
409
00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:12,005
THERE'S AN INVISIBLE--
410
00:21:12,039 --> 00:21:14,241
AAH!
411
00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:17,077
OW!
OH, MAN.
412
00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:18,979
OH, YOU GUYS.
413
00:21:19,012 --> 00:21:21,014
THERE'S AN INVISIBLE BOX.
27482
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