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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:21,930 (GIGGLING) 2 00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:32,360 (LAUGHING) 3 00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:37,870 Oh! (CHUCKLES) 4 00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:39,780 Ma'am! 5 00:00:46,750 --> 00:00:50,000 (SIGHS HAPPILY) Wonderful world! 6 00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:53,300 (GIGGLING) 7 00:00:53,590 --> 00:00:55,300 (CLEARS THROAT) 8 00:00:56,510 --> 00:00:58,760 (GIGGLING) 9 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,060 (LAUGHING LOUDLY) 10 00:01:04,350 --> 00:01:06,190 (LAUGHING) 11 00:01:14,820 --> 00:01:16,490 (ALL LAUGHING) 12 00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:26,540 Oh! 13 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,960 Hi! (BUZZING) 14 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:39,300 Oh! (CHUCKLING) 15 00:01:51,770 --> 00:01:53,690 Darling? Darling. 16 00:01:55,650 --> 00:01:57,400 I'm pregnant! 17 00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,610 (LAUGHING) 18 00:02:23,430 --> 00:02:26,060 ♪ You know it I know you know it 19 00:02:26,350 --> 00:02:28,020 ♪ ‘Cause I show it 20 00:02:28,310 --> 00:02:31,860 ♪ Impossible deal to conceal when you feel 21 00:02:32,150 --> 00:02:34,610 ♪ The thrill of it all 22 00:02:36,150 --> 00:02:38,490 ♪ Oh, brother, I got a feeling 23 00:02:38,780 --> 00:02:41,070 ♪ Like no other 24 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,240 ♪ The moment we met I could bet I would get 25 00:02:44,530 --> 00:02:46,910 ♪ The thrill of it all 26 00:02:48,870 --> 00:02:51,370 ♪ Love can be frightening 27 00:02:51,670 --> 00:02:55,040 ♪ A bolt from the blue 28 00:02:55,340 --> 00:02:57,550 ♪ That tender lightning 29 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:01,340 ♪ Starts your happy heart a-thundering "Il love you" 30 00:03:01,630 --> 00:03:04,140 ♪ We know it I know we know it 31 00:03:04,430 --> 00:03:06,350 ♪ We both show it 32 00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:09,640 ♪ We're walkin' on air Look-a here, look-a there 33 00:03:09,930 --> 00:03:12,770 ♪ The thrill of it all 34 00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,560 ♪ The luckiest pair 35 00:03:14,860 --> 00:03:16,020 ♪ I declare, when we share 36 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,690 ♪ The thrill of it all 37 00:03:29,870 --> 00:03:32,580 ♪ Love can be frightening 38 00:03:32,870 --> 00:03:36,090 ♪ A bolt from the blue 39 00:03:36,380 --> 00:03:38,840 ♪ That tender lightning 40 00:03:39,130 --> 00:03:42,470 ♪ Starts your happy heart a-thundering "Il love you" 41 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:45,300 ♪ We know it I know we know it 42 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,510 ♪ We both show it 43 00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:50,850 ♪ We're walkin' on air Look-a here, look-a there 44 00:03:51,140 --> 00:03:53,980 ♪ The thrill of it all 45 00:03:54,270 --> 00:03:57,190 ♪ The luckiest pair, I declare, when we share 46 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:00,490 ♪ The thrill of it all 47 00:04:00,780 --> 00:04:03,200 ♪ The thrill of it all ♪ 48 00:04:10,830 --> 00:04:11,830 (BOTTLES RATTLING) 49 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:13,210 WOMAN: (ON PA) Dr. Schultz. Dr. Schultz. 50 00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:15,630 You are wanted in Surgery Two. Emergency. 51 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,380 Dr. Schultz, emergency, Surgery Two. 52 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,130 Mr. Caputo? 53 00:04:20,420 --> 00:04:22,300 Yeah. That's me. That's me. Uh-huh. 54 00:04:22,590 --> 00:04:25,300 Your wife just had a beautiful seven-pound baby girl, and they're both doing fine. 55 00:04:25,590 --> 00:04:29,100 Hey! How 'bout that? Seven-pound baby girl. 56 00:04:29,390 --> 00:04:31,220 How much did it weigh? Seven pounds. 57 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,810 You can go in and see your wife and daughter if you like now. 58 00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,560 Well, don't I have to be sterile? 59 00:04:35,850 --> 00:04:37,560 The nurse will furnish you with a hospital gown. 60 00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:39,650 Oh, thank you, Doc. Thank you! 61 00:04:39,940 --> 00:04:41,610 I mean, thank you, Doc! You're welcome. 62 00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:44,110 Thank you. Thanks. 63 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:46,860 WOMAN: (ON PA) Dr. Gerald Boyer, telephone. 64 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:48,830 Dr. Gerald Boyer, telephone. 65 00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:56,290 Dr. Boyer, telephone, please. 66 00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:07,050 Dr. Boyer. 67 00:05:08,510 --> 00:05:11,140 Who? Mr. Gardiner Fra... 68 00:05:11,430 --> 00:05:15,100 Oh, yes! Mr. Fraleigh. Well, how are you, sir? What can I do for you? 69 00:05:15,390 --> 00:05:17,770 (CHUCKLES) Oh, not a thing, my boy. 70 00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:21,440 No, I'm just calling on behalf of Mrs. Fraleigh and myself. 71 00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:26,280 I can't tell you how utterly delighted we both are at the news. 72 00:05:26,570 --> 00:05:28,160 (STAMMERING) You're a positive genius! 73 00:05:28,450 --> 00:05:31,990 Well, I'm afraid you're giving me more credit than I deserve. 74 00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:35,500 Oh, nonsense! We're eternally grateful to you, Doctor. 75 00:05:35,790 --> 00:05:37,960 I'm happy to have done what I could. 76 00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:40,630 Uh, just a moment, Doctor. 77 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:44,300 Doctor, I'm having a little family dinner tonight 78 00:05:44,590 --> 00:05:46,170 to sort of celebrate what happened, 79 00:05:46,470 --> 00:05:48,970 and it would give us great pleasure if you and your wife could be present. 80 00:05:49,260 --> 00:05:50,800 Oh, that's very nice of you, but... 81 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,220 Oh, please, don't say no, Doctor. 82 00:05:53,510 --> 00:05:55,310 Oh, I know how busy you must be, 83 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:59,060 but couldn't you look on this visit as a house call? 84 00:05:59,350 --> 00:06:02,480 (LAUGHING) 85 00:06:02,770 --> 00:06:06,360 Oh, Doctor, it would mean so much to us if you could be there. 86 00:06:06,650 --> 00:06:08,150 Please. 87 00:06:08,450 --> 00:06:10,320 All right. Very well. We'll be there. 88 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,160 Thank you, Doctor. 89 00:06:12,450 --> 00:06:15,580 Our chauffeur will pick you up at your home. 90 00:06:15,870 --> 00:06:19,250 Oh, no! It's really no trouble at all. I insist. 91 00:06:19,540 --> 00:06:20,920 Good night, Mrs. Fraleigh. 92 00:06:21,210 --> 00:06:23,250 Goodbye. (CHUCKLES) 93 00:06:23,540 --> 00:06:26,670 Oh, let me do that for you. 94 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,260 Oh! (LAUGHING) 95 00:06:29,550 --> 00:06:31,590 (CHORTLING) 96 00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:35,140 (BOTH LAUGHING) 97 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,100 All right now. Come on now. Tilt... Sit around here. 98 00:06:39,390 --> 00:06:41,350 Tilt your head back. 99 00:06:41,650 --> 00:06:43,820 I said back, not forward. Come on now. 100 00:06:44,110 --> 00:06:45,480 I want to shampoo your hair. 101 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:47,690 I don't want you to shampoo me! 102 00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:50,280 Darling, I don't have time to play games with you today. 103 00:06:50,570 --> 00:06:53,200 I have a roast in the oven and Mommy's very busy. Come on. Turn around. 104 00:06:53,490 --> 00:06:54,620 I don't want you to shampoo me! 105 00:06:54,910 --> 00:06:56,200 Maggie, why not? 106 00:06:56,490 --> 00:06:58,620 ‘Cause that shampoo smells ooky! 107 00:06:58,910 --> 00:07:02,540 Oh, Lord. It smells like it always smells. Now smell it. 108 00:07:02,830 --> 00:07:05,170 Smells like the cracks in the school yard! 109 00:07:05,460 --> 00:07:08,260 Can't we use the new soap you bought? 110 00:07:08,550 --> 00:07:10,880 Listen, young lady, if I didn't have a roast in the oven, 111 00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:12,890 you'd get the pine tar and like it. 112 00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:14,550 (RINGS) 113 00:07:15,930 --> 00:07:17,390 Mommy, the phone is ringing! 114 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:18,600 Yes, darling. I know it is. 115 00:07:18,890 --> 00:07:20,980 Pick it up, honey, and find out who it is. 116 00:07:22,980 --> 00:07:24,560 Hello? Who is this? 117 00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:26,190 This is Daddy. Hello, Andy. 118 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:27,980 How's my big... 119 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:30,400 It was Daddy. 120 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,780 Oh. What did he say? 121 00:07:32,070 --> 00:07:33,030 "Hello, Andy." 122 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,700 (PHONE RINGS) 123 00:07:34,990 --> 00:07:36,990 Did you hang up on him? Well, answer the phone and tell Daddy 124 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,740 that Mommy's shampooing Maggie's hair. 125 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:39,910 Go on. 126 00:07:42,620 --> 00:07:44,380 Mommy's shampooing Maggie's hair. 127 00:07:44,670 --> 00:07:46,460 Ask Daddy what he wants, sweetheart! 128 00:07:46,750 --> 00:07:48,130 Don't hang up, An... (LINE CLICKS) 129 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:50,880 Oh, no, Andy. 130 00:07:51,550 --> 00:07:52,930 I told Daddy. 131 00:07:53,220 --> 00:07:54,470 (PHONE RINGS) 132 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,430 Oh, you didn't hang up on him again... Oh, Andrew! 133 00:07:57,720 --> 00:07:59,930 Now this time go in and ask Daddy what he wants, 134 00:08:00,220 --> 00:08:03,390 and don't hang up until Daddy tells you to, you hear that? 135 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:07,480 Andy, before you hang up again, 136 00:08:07,770 --> 00:08:09,570 tell Mommy I want to speak with her. 137 00:08:12,820 --> 00:08:15,110 Keep your eyes shut tight. Daddy wants to speak to you. 138 00:08:15,410 --> 00:08:17,950 Oh, Andrew, I told you that I am shampooing Maggie's hair! 139 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:21,000 Now, ask Daddy what he wants. Would you do that, please? 140 00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:27,420 Mommy's shampooing Maggie's hair, and what do you want? 141 00:08:27,710 --> 00:08:31,300 Just tell Mommy not to prepare dinner tonight 142 00:08:31,590 --> 00:08:33,550 because we've been invited out. 143 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:35,840 And... And tell her I'll be home very soon. 144 00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:37,970 Do you understand me, Andy? 145 00:08:38,260 --> 00:08:40,140 Do you understand Daddy? 146 00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:43,350 Did you understand me, Andy? 147 00:08:44,350 --> 00:08:46,270 Andy, did you hang up again? 148 00:08:47,730 --> 00:08:49,730 Andy, are you there? 149 00:08:50,940 --> 00:08:52,690 Daddy, can I hang up now? 150 00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:54,780 Yes, you can hang up now. 151 00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:58,950 Andrew! 152 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,120 Come in a minute. What did Daddy say, honey? 153 00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:03,250 Come on. He said that he is coming home soon. 154 00:09:03,540 --> 00:09:06,120 Oh! Is that all he said? 155 00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:09,670 He also said, "Andy, did you hang up again?" 156 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:13,300 You did very well, sweetheart. You really did. 157 00:09:13,590 --> 00:09:16,220 There. Does the Happy Soap smell better than the ooky soap? 158 00:09:16,510 --> 00:09:19,180 It does, Mommy. It smells just like my piano teacher, 159 00:09:19,470 --> 00:09:21,390 and now I smell just like her. 160 00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:23,060 Well, that's good. 161 00:09:23,350 --> 00:09:26,690 That's better than smelling like a schoolyard any day. Ooh! 162 00:09:26,980 --> 00:09:30,480 Mommy, can I have a bath and a shampoo? What? 163 00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:33,070 You're not due until tomorrow night. 164 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:34,240 Huh! 165 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,540 Are you sure you don't mind my leaving now, Mrs. Boyer? 166 00:09:43,830 --> 00:09:45,830 Oh, dear. I could serve and leave later. 167 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,040 I won't hear of it. 168 00:09:47,330 --> 00:09:49,670 These church socials rarely start on time. 169 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:51,210 No, you go right on. 170 00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:54,130 Besides, I have an excellent helper. Have you noticed? 171 00:09:56,090 --> 00:09:58,260 Be careful now, honey. Don't drop it. 172 00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:00,550 (GIGGLES) 173 00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:03,760 Well, I guess I'll be going. 174 00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:07,140 I shan't be late. Oh, thank you so much, Mrs. Boyer. 175 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,020 All right, dear. Bye-bye. Goodbye. 176 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:35,000 Hi. Perfect timing. 177 00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:37,720 Between medium and medium rare. Pretty? 178 00:10:38,010 --> 00:10:39,930 (KISSES) Beautiful. What was it today? 179 00:10:40,220 --> 00:10:44,140 A girl. Honey, didn't Andy give you my message about our being invited out to dinner? 180 00:10:44,850 --> 00:10:46,890 Oh, no! 181 00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:48,560 Who invited us out to dinner? 182 00:10:48,850 --> 00:10:50,100 Mrs. Fraleigh, one of my patients. 183 00:10:50,390 --> 00:10:53,400 I told Andy to tell you! Oh! Well, he didn't. 184 00:10:53,690 --> 00:10:56,900 That's my boy. Well, you've still got time to dress. 185 00:10:57,190 --> 00:11:01,200 Oh, Gerald! I've just roasted a $6.34 standing rib roast. 186 00:11:01,490 --> 00:11:03,240 I'll eat it for breakfast. Oh! 187 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:05,450 Hey. Sweetheart. 188 00:11:05,740 --> 00:11:06,620 What? 189 00:11:06,910 --> 00:11:08,830 Did you know I'm a great doctor? 190 00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:12,790 Well, I've always suspected it. 191 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:14,170 How did you find out? 192 00:11:15,540 --> 00:11:17,170 I helped a lady become pregnant. (CLEARS THROAT) 193 00:11:20,170 --> 00:11:21,380 You did what? 194 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:23,430 She's been trying for 20 years. 195 00:11:24,010 --> 00:11:25,760 Oh. Oh, really? 196 00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:28,060 Um... Uh, what did you do? 197 00:11:28,970 --> 00:11:31,020 I gave her a piece of advice. 198 00:11:31,310 --> 00:11:34,480 I told her and her husband, stop trying to have a baby. Ah! 199 00:11:34,770 --> 00:11:37,480 (CHUCKLING) You mean stopping did it? 200 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,820 No, relaxing did it. Hmm. 201 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:43,950 We got a date? Mmm. 202 00:11:45,570 --> 00:11:46,990 What about the children? 203 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:48,330 Let 'em get their own dates. 204 00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:49,790 Mmm, but I gave Olivia the night off. 205 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:51,830 Get a sitter. 206 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:55,040 Gerry, to hire a sitter at a dollar an hour when we're paying a housekeeper, 207 00:11:55,330 --> 00:11:56,960 I just think it's... It's a sin! 208 00:11:57,250 --> 00:12:00,840 Bev. Even the best of us sin once in a while. 209 00:12:01,130 --> 00:12:02,760 Tonight's your night. 210 00:12:12,060 --> 00:12:13,770 Now, stop it. 211 00:12:14,060 --> 00:12:17,400 (SIGHS) Come on now. Tell me about Mrs. Fraleigh. 212 00:12:17,690 --> 00:12:19,860 Did you really tell her to stop trying to have a baby? 213 00:12:20,150 --> 00:12:21,690 I told her more than that. 214 00:12:21,990 --> 00:12:26,410 I also told her to take a three-month ocean cruise with her husband. 215 00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:28,700 Ah, that did it, huh? (CHUCKLES) 216 00:12:28,990 --> 00:12:30,790 It took the pressure off psychologically. 217 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:34,250 Hmm. How did you know it would work? 218 00:12:34,540 --> 00:12:37,710 I didn't. But I knew I had three things working for me. 219 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,380 They were capable, they loved each other, 220 00:12:40,670 --> 00:12:44,340 and there is very little to do on a three-month ocean cruise. 221 00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:46,840 (CHUCKLING) Ah! 222 00:12:47,140 --> 00:12:48,430 Oh, you are a great doctor. 223 00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:55,850 Hmm. The chauffeur's looking. 224 00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:57,770 Oh, he doesn't mind. 225 00:12:59,770 --> 00:13:02,440 (MOTOR WHIRRING) 226 00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:05,280 Excuse me. You don't mind if we kiss in the backseat, do you? 227 00:13:05,570 --> 00:13:08,070 Not if it pleases you, sir. 228 00:13:25,090 --> 00:13:27,050 (DOORBELL RINGS) 229 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:36,060 Good evening. Good evening. 230 00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:37,560 Hello. 231 00:13:47,990 --> 00:13:50,120 May I have your name, please? 232 00:13:50,410 --> 00:13:52,910 Dr. and Mrs. Gerald Boyer. 233 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,790 Oh, yes. Mr. and Mrs. Wingate. 234 00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:59,540 Will you follow me, please? 235 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:07,340 (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING ON TV) 236 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:13,680 Mr. and Mrs... 237 00:14:16,390 --> 00:14:17,520 Something. 238 00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,610 I'm so glad you could come. Thank you. 239 00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:27,110 I'm sorry we're late. We had sitter problems. 240 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,490 I can't wait to have that kind of problem. (LAUGHS) 241 00:14:29,780 --> 00:14:31,780 So glad to meet you, Mrs. Boyer, Dr... MAN: Shh! 242 00:14:32,070 --> 00:14:34,290 Shh! Damn! 243 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,290 (MUSIC ON TV CONTINUES) 244 00:14:51,510 --> 00:14:53,140 (ANGRY MUTTERING) 245 00:14:59,730 --> 00:15:01,270 Thank you. Shh! 246 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:02,610 Damn! 247 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:05,360 He means me. (CHUCKLES) 248 00:15:05,650 --> 00:15:07,150 Here it comes! Here it comes! 249 00:15:08,900 --> 00:15:11,530 MAN: (ON TV) Before joining the third act of Happy Playhouse, 250 00:15:11,820 --> 00:15:14,330 here is a brief word from our Happy Girl. 251 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,910 Hi! 252 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:23,170 I'm Spot Checker. I've just been signed to appear in a motion picture. 253 00:15:23,460 --> 00:15:26,170 Of course, it's just a small part, 254 00:15:26,460 --> 00:15:30,170 but all the glamorous movie stars started out by playing 255 00:15:30,470 --> 00:15:32,380 small parts. 256 00:15:39,270 --> 00:15:43,190 There's so many things a girl must learn 257 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:46,400 before she can become a glamorous movie star. 258 00:15:46,690 --> 00:15:49,990 First of all, she has to learn what clothes to wear, 259 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,570 and what hairstyle. 260 00:15:52,860 --> 00:15:54,240 Oh, and how to act. 261 00:15:54,530 --> 00:15:56,990 A famous star once said to me, 262 00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:59,790 "Spot," she said, 263 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,580 "it's not enough that you look like a star 264 00:16:02,870 --> 00:16:04,420 "or act like a star. 265 00:16:04,710 --> 00:16:06,630 "You must smell 266 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,170 "like a star." 267 00:16:09,460 --> 00:16:12,300 So it was there and then that I learned about 268 00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:14,340 Happy Soap, 269 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,430 the heavenly soap that smells... 270 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:19,680 (SNIFFS) Like the stars. 271 00:16:21,770 --> 00:16:23,230 Mmm! 272 00:16:23,980 --> 00:16:26,440 Won't you join me 273 00:16:32,490 --> 00:16:36,120 and find true happiness in your bath? 274 00:16:36,410 --> 00:16:38,530 Just you, 275 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:40,660 and a cake of Happy. 276 00:16:40,950 --> 00:16:43,660 (GIGGLES) 277 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:46,170 Couldn't sell me a cake of that soap! 278 00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:50,710 That soap saved my life today. 279 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,590 Who said that? Put the darn lights on! 280 00:16:57,510 --> 00:16:59,510 Now, who said that? (CHUCKLES) 281 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:01,220 Well, I guess I did. 282 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:02,310 Who are you? 283 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:03,560 She's with me, sir. 284 00:17:03,850 --> 00:17:06,730 Father, this is Dr. Boyer and his wife. 285 00:17:07,020 --> 00:17:09,860 Dr. Boyer's my obstetrician. Oh, yeah! 286 00:17:10,150 --> 00:17:12,150 Nice going, Doc. 287 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:14,280 Now, young lady, what the devil did you mean, 288 00:17:14,570 --> 00:17:16,530 "That soap saved my life today"? 289 00:17:16,820 --> 00:17:19,950 Well... Well, it was just a figure of speech, Mr. Fraleigh. 290 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,750 How in tarnation can a soap save your life? 291 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,330 (CHUCKLES) Well, maybe I put it too strongly, 292 00:17:25,620 --> 00:17:29,750 but if it weren't for Happy Soap, I'd still be in a hassle with my daughter. 293 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,710 How's that? (STAMMERS) You really want to hear this? 294 00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:35,630 Yeah! Go on! (CHUCKLES) 295 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:39,850 Well, for years I've been shampooing my daughter Maggie's hair 296 00:17:40,140 --> 00:17:41,720 with a pine tar shampoo. 297 00:17:42,010 --> 00:17:45,020 Huh? With a... With a pine tar shampoo. 298 00:17:45,310 --> 00:17:47,640 Oh. And today she refused to let me. 299 00:17:47,940 --> 00:17:49,560 Why? 300 00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:52,980 Because she said the shampoo smelled like the cracks in the school yard. 301 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,990 Smelled like what? Shut up! Shut up! Go on! Go on! 302 00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:01,370 Well, she just refused to let me wash her hair, 303 00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:03,200 and heaven knows she needed it, 304 00:18:03,490 --> 00:18:05,870 because her brother Andrew hit her in the head with a mud ball. 305 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,710 Heh! Why, that little son of a gun. 306 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,710 Because she hit him with one first, right smack in the mouth. 307 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:16,630 (LAUGHING) Mud ball! Right in the mouth! Ha! Go on! 308 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,340 Oh! Well, she, um, uh, 309 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,890 finally agreed to let me wash her hair, 310 00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:25,560 but only if I would use Happy Soap, so I did. 311 00:18:25,850 --> 00:18:27,180 And she just loved it. 312 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:30,060 She said that it made her smell like her piano teacher. 313 00:18:30,350 --> 00:18:32,690 Hear that? (BOTH LAUGHING) 314 00:18:32,980 --> 00:18:37,650 And then... Well, her brother Andrew insisted that I wash his hair with Happy Soap. 315 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,070 That's what I'm talking about! 316 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:41,910 Mud balls in the mouth! 317 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:44,580 Little kids that like to smell like their piano teacher! 318 00:18:44,870 --> 00:18:46,910 Now, Dad, you shouldn't be getting excited. 319 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,000 "Shouldn't be getting excited"? 320 00:18:49,290 --> 00:18:51,420 That's the dang trouble with you young'uns! 321 00:18:51,710 --> 00:18:53,750 You never know when to get excited! 322 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:55,960 You should be shoutin' instead of me! 323 00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:57,760 I should? Darn right. 324 00:18:58,050 --> 00:19:00,380 Supposed to be an advertising man. Don't even know when to shout. 325 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:02,760 Father, please, we have guests. 326 00:19:03,050 --> 00:19:07,560 Seems if I don't set the sticks of dynamite, no holes get dug. 327 00:19:07,850 --> 00:19:11,900 Young lady, how would you like to go on the TV and say what you just said to me? 328 00:19:14,060 --> 00:19:16,020 Uh, what? On television. 329 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:18,570 Why? "Why"? 330 00:19:18,860 --> 00:19:21,950 Because I manufacture Happy Soap, and I think you can sell it. 331 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,030 But, sir, what's wrong with Spot Checker? 332 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:25,450 We've worked so closely with her. 333 00:19:25,740 --> 00:19:28,200 I know how closely you work. 334 00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,120 I thought Spot inviting people to join her in her bath was, uh, very effective. 335 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:33,330 Well, maybe they're bathing with her, 336 00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:36,300 but they sure as heck aren't using Happy Soap! 337 00:19:36,590 --> 00:19:39,920 I like you. Have a nut. 338 00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:43,390 What you said Is what I like to hear onthe TV. 339 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,600 Never did like them skinny starlings. 340 00:19:45,890 --> 00:19:47,350 "Lets," Dad. Let's what? 341 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:49,100 Starlets, Dad, not starlings. 342 00:19:49,390 --> 00:19:52,100 Oh, shut up! Father, must you? 343 00:19:52,390 --> 00:19:55,020 Yep. Only way to shut him up. 344 00:19:55,310 --> 00:19:58,650 Well, what do you say? Next Friday on theHappy Playhouse? 345 00:19:58,940 --> 00:20:02,400 Oh, Mr. Fraleigh, really, I'm very flattered, 346 00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:04,910 but, um, oh, I couldn't. 347 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:10,080 Why not? I'm not an actress. I'm a housewife. 348 00:20:10,370 --> 00:20:13,330 Mr. Fraleigh, I know my wife, and when she says no... 349 00:20:13,620 --> 00:20:17,210 All I'm asking you to do is to say the exact thing you said to me. 350 00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:20,670 On! Only difference is, you'll be saying it to a camera, 351 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:25,050 and they'll be paying you $332 to say it. 352 00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:31,180 Mr. Fraleigh, you're wasting your time. 353 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:32,980 I know Beverly. 354 00:20:33,270 --> 00:20:39,150 Gerald? Um, if it means that much, uh, to Mr. Fraleigh, 355 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:42,150 uh, maybe I could go on television. 356 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:45,530 Beverly! Next Friday! It's a deal! 357 00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:46,740 Now let's eat. 358 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:50,870 Bring on the grub! 359 00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:03,880 (SOPHISTICATED ACCENT) Hello. 360 00:21:04,170 --> 00:21:06,390 My name is Beverly Boyer, 361 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,850 and I'd like to tell all of you lovely people 362 00:21:09,140 --> 00:21:12,060 about something that happened at my home the other afternoon. 363 00:21:14,020 --> 00:21:15,690 (NORMAL VOICE) Oh, dear. 364 00:21:27,660 --> 00:21:29,700 Now, Maggie, why aren't we eating our porridge? 365 00:21:29,990 --> 00:21:31,490 It has too many lumps. 366 00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:33,080 Well, we'll fix that. 367 00:21:33,370 --> 00:21:34,960 Can I have Maggie's lumps? 368 00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:37,460 Now, really, you don't want them. 369 00:21:37,750 --> 00:21:39,250 Yes, he does! 370 00:21:39,540 --> 00:21:42,340 I roll ‘em in sugar, and they taste like candy. 371 00:21:42,630 --> 00:21:43,880 GERALD: Good morning, group. Good morning, Doctor. 372 00:21:44,170 --> 00:21:45,300 Good morning, Daddy! Hi, Daddy. 373 00:21:45,590 --> 00:21:47,260 No breakfast for me today, Olivia. 374 00:21:47,550 --> 00:21:48,760 Where you goin'? 375 00:21:49,050 --> 00:21:50,010 To the hospital. 376 00:21:50,300 --> 00:21:52,760 Gonna deliver a baby? Mmm-hmm. 377 00:21:53,060 --> 00:21:56,770 Oh, can you bring it home? Course he can't. It's not his baby. 378 00:21:57,060 --> 00:21:59,940 Daddy's only the deliveryman, like the milkman. 379 00:22:00,230 --> 00:22:02,360 But Daddy brought you and me home. 380 00:22:02,650 --> 00:22:04,650 That's because Mommy helped with those deliveries. 381 00:22:04,940 --> 00:22:08,030 Well, if she helps again, will you bring it home? 382 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:09,200 Okay, I will. 383 00:22:09,490 --> 00:22:11,120 Oh, you promise, Daddy? 384 00:22:11,410 --> 00:22:13,120 I promise. 385 00:22:13,410 --> 00:22:16,790 So long, tiger. Hey. Mmm-mmm! 386 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:18,250 Bye, Daddy. OLIVIA: Goodbye, Doctor. 387 00:22:18,540 --> 00:22:20,670 Bye, Daddy. Now, come on. Drink up your milk. 388 00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:22,130 You want to say ta-ta to Mommy. 389 00:22:22,420 --> 00:22:23,960 We'll be tardy for school. Come on. 390 00:22:25,210 --> 00:22:27,050 Hi, there. 391 00:22:27,340 --> 00:22:30,970 My name is Beverly Boyer, and I'm a housewife, 392 00:22:31,260 --> 00:22:33,060 and I'd like to tell all of you 393 00:22:33,350 --> 00:22:36,310 about what happened at my house just the other night. 394 00:22:45,900 --> 00:22:47,280 (BRIGHTLY) Hil 395 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,490 Oh! Hello! 396 00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,040 Hi, folks. 397 00:22:58,330 --> 00:23:01,170 My name is Beverly Boyer, and I'm a housewife. 398 00:23:01,460 --> 00:23:03,590 Mommy, why are you talking to your mirror? 399 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:06,340 On! MAGGIE: Why are you talking to your mirror? 400 00:23:06,630 --> 00:23:08,920 Oh, honey, Mother's not talking to the mirror. 401 00:23:09,220 --> 00:23:11,050 She's practicing. To say your name? 402 00:23:11,340 --> 00:23:13,680 No, silly. I know my name. 403 00:23:13,970 --> 00:23:15,350 Hey, you know what? BOTH: What? 404 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:16,890 What, what, what? 405 00:23:17,180 --> 00:23:18,140 Mommy's gonna be on television. 406 00:23:18,430 --> 00:23:20,730 BOTH: On television? Yeah! 407 00:23:21,020 --> 00:23:22,810 Can we watch ya? Can we watch it? Can we watch it? 408 00:23:23,110 --> 00:23:25,570 Yes, you can! You can watch it. Now, wait a minute. 409 00:23:25,860 --> 00:23:27,780 It might be a little bit late for you, so we have to ask Daddy. 410 00:23:28,070 --> 00:23:30,860 BOTH: Yay! Mommy's gonna be on television! 411 00:23:31,150 --> 00:23:32,950 Oh, now, isn't that nice? (HORN HONKING) 412 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:34,320 How about that? 413 00:23:34,620 --> 00:23:35,450 There's your ride, children. 414 00:23:35,740 --> 00:23:36,540 Hurry. Kiss Mommy Goodbye. 415 00:23:36,830 --> 00:23:37,910 Come on. Hurry up. 416 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,000 ANDY: Mommy's gonna be a big television star! 417 00:23:40,290 --> 00:23:42,170 I love you! Goodbye! 418 00:23:42,460 --> 00:23:44,000 MAGGIE: Goodbye, Mommy. (DOOR CLOSES) 419 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:55,550 Hello. I'm Beverly Boyer, 420 00:23:55,850 --> 00:23:59,100 and I'm going to be a big television star. 421 00:23:59,390 --> 00:24:01,020 (SIGHS) Oh! 422 00:24:02,690 --> 00:24:06,980 MAN: (IN GERMAN ACCENT) So, none of you knows anything. 423 00:24:08,150 --> 00:24:09,570 When's Mommy comin' on? 424 00:24:09,860 --> 00:24:11,650 Shh! Soon, Andy. 425 00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:14,490 And you know of no, uh, Allied forces 426 00:24:14,780 --> 00:24:16,240 in the area? No. 427 00:24:16,530 --> 00:24:17,620 Is that Mommy? 428 00:24:17,910 --> 00:24:20,410 No, Mommy doesn't have black hair. 429 00:24:20,700 --> 00:24:23,290 You're a very obstinate, proud people, 430 00:24:23,580 --> 00:24:26,920 but we have ways to make you remember. 431 00:24:27,210 --> 00:24:30,420 You are completely innocent, aren't you? 432 00:24:30,710 --> 00:24:33,010 Know absolutely nothing. 433 00:24:33,300 --> 00:24:34,800 Hmm? 434 00:24:35,090 --> 00:24:36,260 Very well. 435 00:24:36,550 --> 00:24:39,510 We have ways of making you remember 436 00:24:39,810 --> 00:24:42,430 these little, unimportant details. 437 00:24:42,730 --> 00:24:44,600 Ways you will not forget. 438 00:24:46,350 --> 00:24:49,940 All right, guard. Take them away! 439 00:24:50,980 --> 00:24:54,610 Uh, the young girl, let her stay. 440 00:24:54,910 --> 00:24:58,740 Maybe,mademoiselle, you would care for a glass of wine? 441 00:24:59,580 --> 00:25:03,370 It is an excellent wine. 442 00:25:03,660 --> 00:25:05,710 (IN FRENCH ACCENT) Perhaps I will take the wine. 443 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,590 Ah! That is better. 444 00:25:10,050 --> 00:25:12,710 Ah, yes, Fraeulein, you will learn, 445 00:25:13,010 --> 00:25:15,590 as, uh, your people will have to, 446 00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:19,600 that if they want to, uh, fill their stomachs again, 447 00:25:19,890 --> 00:25:22,810 they will have to swallow a little pride 448 00:25:23,100 --> 00:25:24,730 along with the food. 449 00:25:27,190 --> 00:25:29,110 You... Guards! 450 00:25:31,150 --> 00:25:32,900 You... You pig! 451 00:25:34,530 --> 00:25:36,570 And what are you if I am a pig? 452 00:25:36,860 --> 00:25:39,490 (WHISPERS) You're on! 453 00:25:39,780 --> 00:25:43,700 Oh! Oh, hello. I'm Beverly Boyer, and I'm a pig. 454 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:45,000 Pig? Pig! 455 00:25:45,290 --> 00:25:46,580 Pig? Pig! 456 00:25:46,870 --> 00:25:48,420 What did Mommy say? 457 00:25:48,710 --> 00:25:49,880 She said she was a pig. 458 00:25:50,170 --> 00:25:51,290 (CREW CHUCKLING) 459 00:25:51,590 --> 00:25:54,800 MAN: Move over! Move over! I'm sorry. 460 00:25:55,090 --> 00:25:57,220 (LAUGHTER) (WHISPERS) Get over there! 461 00:25:58,550 --> 00:26:01,180 May I start again, please? Go ahead. 462 00:26:01,470 --> 00:26:02,680 Uh, hello. 463 00:26:02,970 --> 00:26:06,390 Uh, my name is Beverly Boyer, and I'm a housewife. 464 00:26:06,690 --> 00:26:07,730 (LAUGHTER) MAN: Be quiet. 465 00:26:08,020 --> 00:26:10,860 And, um, what I'd like to tell you is, um, 466 00:26:11,150 --> 00:26:14,780 about how Happy Soap saved my life. 467 00:26:15,070 --> 00:26:18,860 Um, last week, oh, I was in such a hassle with my daughter Maggie. 468 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:24,540 Um, she wouldn't let me wash her hair with our regular shampoo, 469 00:26:24,830 --> 00:26:28,710 and, um, she said that it, um... Um... 470 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:30,670 It smelled like the cracks in the school yard. 471 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,550 (LAUGHTER) MAN: Shh! Shh! 472 00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:36,460 Well, you know how children can get, and, uh... 473 00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:40,550 Anyway, that afternoon I purchased several bars of Happy Soap. 474 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:41,890 (WHISPERS) Pick up the bar. 475 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,850 The other bar. (LAUGHTER) 476 00:26:48,270 --> 00:26:50,060 And, um... Turn it around! 477 00:26:51,940 --> 00:26:53,270 (LAUGHTER CONTINUES) 478 00:26:53,570 --> 00:26:55,440 Um... Uh... 479 00:26:57,030 --> 00:27:02,700 Um, and she insisted that I wash her hair with the new soap. 480 00:27:02,990 --> 00:27:03,990 (WHISPERS) Not new. 481 00:27:04,580 --> 00:27:05,910 Oh! Oh. No. 482 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:08,580 No, Happy Soap Is not a new soap. It's, um... 483 00:27:08,870 --> 00:27:10,670 (MAN CACKLING) It's an old soap. 484 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:12,040 (CACKLING CONTINUES) 485 00:27:12,330 --> 00:27:15,170 And I just had never used it before. 486 00:27:15,460 --> 00:27:16,840 You have used it. 487 00:27:17,130 --> 00:27:19,010 I haven't. 488 00:27:19,300 --> 00:27:23,090 I really have not used this soap before. 489 00:27:23,390 --> 00:27:25,470 And anyway, what I want to tell you is 490 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:29,270 that I did use it to shampoo her hair, and she loved it. 491 00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:31,060 (STIFLED LAUGHING) MAN: Quiet. 492 00:27:31,350 --> 00:27:33,770 And she said to me, "Oh, Mommy, 493 00:27:34,060 --> 00:27:36,270 "now I smell like my piano teacher." 494 00:27:36,570 --> 00:27:38,900 (MEN LAUGHING LOUDLY) 495 00:27:40,990 --> 00:27:42,910 She did. 496 00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:47,830 And all I want to say is that the soap worked just fine, 497 00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:51,790 and it got rid of all the traces of the mud balls. 498 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:55,250 Mud balls? Yeah! Mud balls! 499 00:27:55,540 --> 00:27:57,500 (LAUGHING CONTINUES) Cut. Cut! 500 00:27:59,460 --> 00:28:00,970 (LAUGHING CONTINUES) Bye. 501 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:03,180 Smile. 502 00:28:05,180 --> 00:28:07,140 Keep smiling. 503 00:28:07,430 --> 00:28:09,140 (LAUGHING CONTINUES) Keep smiling. 504 00:28:09,430 --> 00:28:11,980 Take it off her. She's not gonna say anything else. 505 00:28:30,330 --> 00:28:32,120 That'll be four and a quarter, lady. 506 00:28:32,410 --> 00:28:34,500 (SOBBING) Keep the change. Oh, thanks. 507 00:28:34,790 --> 00:28:37,090 Listen, lady, I don't know what he did to you, 508 00:28:37,380 --> 00:28:41,420 but like I always say, "To err is human, and to forgive is human-er." 509 00:28:42,550 --> 00:28:44,470 (TIRES SCREECH) 510 00:28:46,510 --> 00:28:48,050 (CRYING) 511 00:28:48,350 --> 00:28:50,810 That-a-way, lady. Forgive and forget. 512 00:28:52,980 --> 00:28:55,100 If you'll forgive, I'll try to forget. 513 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:57,730 Oh, was it really that bad, sweetheart? 514 00:28:58,020 --> 00:29:01,190 If anybody ever asks me to go on television again, I hope that you'll just... 515 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,280 I will. I'll beat 'em off with my stethoscope. 516 00:29:04,570 --> 00:29:06,030 Mmm. (SOBBING LOUDLY) 517 00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:07,570 I know. 518 00:29:09,450 --> 00:29:13,000 Yeah, you heard me! I said I want that girl! 519 00:29:13,290 --> 00:29:16,580 But, Dad, we already have a commitment with Spot Checker. 520 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:20,040 Thirty-four more baths at $1,500 a bath. 521 00:29:20,340 --> 00:29:21,630 Tell her she's washed up. 522 00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:25,380 Dad, I think you're being a little premature. 523 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:28,220 You do, huh? 524 00:29:28,510 --> 00:29:30,010 Don't you read the papers? (NUTSHELLS FALLING) 525 00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:33,600 "Last night on Happy Playhouse, 526 00:29:33,890 --> 00:29:36,310 "the only moment of originality was produced 527 00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:39,270 "by a disarming young lady who delivered the commercial. 528 00:29:43,780 --> 00:29:47,030 "It's a sad day for television when the sponsor's message 529 00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:49,370 "has more value than the play." 530 00:29:50,450 --> 00:29:51,740 Get her! 531 00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,210 Beverly is my new Happy Girl! 532 00:30:10,970 --> 00:30:12,640 (DOORBELL RINGS) 533 00:30:16,180 --> 00:30:20,060 Hi, Daddy! Aw, you're not my daddy. 534 00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,690 You're a wise child. Is your mother home? 535 00:30:22,980 --> 00:30:24,110 BEVERLY: Who is it, Andrew? 536 00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,360 It's not Daddy. It's a man. 537 00:30:26,650 --> 00:30:28,070 Take me to your mother. 538 00:30:30,490 --> 00:30:32,080 Well, who is it? 539 00:30:32,990 --> 00:30:35,290 It's Mike Palmer. 540 00:30:35,580 --> 00:30:39,620 Oh. Uh, I'm sorry, Mr. Palmer, but I'm... I'm very busy. 541 00:30:43,380 --> 00:30:46,170 Mrs. Boyer, would you consider becoming the television spokeswoman 542 00:30:46,460 --> 00:30:48,590 for Happy Soap? 543 00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:50,430 I don't think that's a bit funny. 544 00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:52,180 I'm serious. 545 00:30:52,470 --> 00:30:54,600 They want you to sell Happy Soap. 546 00:30:54,890 --> 00:30:56,470 That's ridiculous! 547 00:30:56,770 --> 00:30:58,390 I was terrible! 548 00:30:58,690 --> 00:31:01,060 I stammered all over the place. I looked like an idiot. 549 00:31:01,350 --> 00:31:03,110 Yes, I thought so. 550 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:06,480 But, uh, old Tom was enchanted with your stammering. 551 00:31:10,490 --> 00:31:12,990 Do you mean... Do you mean that you're actually offering me a job? 552 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:16,410 Not me, the old man. 553 00:31:16,700 --> 00:31:20,330 Well, I'm not interested. I will never go on television again, ever. 554 00:31:20,620 --> 00:31:21,880 I am definitely not interested. 555 00:31:22,170 --> 00:31:24,590 I think if you heard the amount, you might be. 556 00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:26,630 You don't know me very well, Mr. Palmer. 557 00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:28,340 Uh, may I, please? Thank you. 558 00:31:28,630 --> 00:31:30,880 Now, if you don't mind, I really have a lot of work to do. 559 00:31:32,430 --> 00:31:34,220 Do you, uh... (CLEARS THROAT) 560 00:31:34,510 --> 00:31:36,180 You... You bottle your own ketchup? 561 00:31:36,470 --> 00:31:38,220 Yes. Yes, I do. 562 00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:40,730 Oh, here. Allow me. 563 00:31:41,020 --> 00:31:42,190 There we go. Where do you want it? 564 00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:44,310 Put it right here, please. All right. 565 00:31:44,610 --> 00:31:46,650 Thank you very much. Goodbye, Mr. Palmer. 566 00:31:48,070 --> 00:31:50,320 (CLEARS THROAT) 567 00:31:50,610 --> 00:31:53,870 You know, I have never seen anybody make ketchup before. It's a fascinating... 568 00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:57,080 Mr. Palmer, I told you before, I am not going on television. 569 00:31:57,370 --> 00:32:00,120 I have never been so embarrassed in my life. 570 00:32:00,410 --> 00:32:02,540 I made a fool of myself. 571 00:32:02,830 --> 00:32:05,630 Well, there are about 1,200 people who didn't think so. 572 00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:07,550 Well, what 1,200 people? 573 00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:10,760 The 1,200 people who called up right after the show and said 574 00:32:11,050 --> 00:32:15,430 that you were the most refreshing, sincere person who ever sold a bar of soap. 575 00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:18,510 Oh! They were laughing at me in the studio. 576 00:32:18,810 --> 00:32:22,230 Well, for just a few seconds there, you were... (LAUGHING) You were funny. 577 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:26,900 But look, when you got down to selling soap, you sure sold soap. 578 00:32:29,570 --> 00:32:33,570 No. There's nothing you can say that will make me change my mind. 579 00:32:33,860 --> 00:32:38,370 So you can just take your $332 and... And... And please leave. 580 00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:41,910 I'm leaving. 581 00:32:42,210 --> 00:32:45,250 But, uh, with more than $332. 582 00:32:46,380 --> 00:32:48,000 I don't care if it's 500. 583 00:32:49,380 --> 00:32:50,630 It's more than twice that. 584 00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:56,640 A thousand dollars? That's ridiculous! 585 00:32:56,930 --> 00:32:59,680 Not as ridiculous as $1,500... 586 00:32:59,970 --> 00:33:01,180 A week. 587 00:33:02,350 --> 00:33:06,060 $1,500 a week? For 52 weeks. 588 00:33:06,900 --> 00:33:08,270 Fif... 589 00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:11,400 How much... How much is 52 times 1,500? 590 00:33:12,490 --> 00:33:13,740 About 80,000. 591 00:33:15,780 --> 00:33:17,910 Oh! (SCREAMS) 592 00:33:18,910 --> 00:33:21,120 Oh! Mrs. Boyer! 593 00:33:21,410 --> 00:33:24,750 Mrs. Boyer! Oh! Are you all right? 594 00:33:26,330 --> 00:33:28,670 Hey! How's my favorite son, huh? 595 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:30,710 Mommy's in the cellar with a man. 596 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:32,880 Oh? Anyone we know? 597 00:33:33,170 --> 00:33:35,170 No, Daddy. We don't know him. 598 00:33:38,220 --> 00:33:41,060 Did you say 80... $80,000? 599 00:33:41,350 --> 00:33:44,060 Yes. Yes, $80,000. Here. Let me help you up. 600 00:33:44,350 --> 00:33:46,140 GERALD: What you doin', folks? What? 601 00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:51,150 Uh, making ketchup, dear. 602 00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:54,780 Um... Uh, you know... You know Mike Palmer. 603 00:33:55,070 --> 00:33:57,240 Yes, I remember Mr. Palmer. Yes. 604 00:33:57,530 --> 00:33:59,990 Uh, well, Mr. Palmer... He was just telling me... Allow me. 605 00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:02,830 Oh. Right. Sorry. You're very gallant, Sir. 606 00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:07,080 Come all the way from the city just to help a lady out of a basket of tomatoes. 607 00:34:07,370 --> 00:34:09,170 Well. You did tell him no. 608 00:34:09,460 --> 00:34:11,750 (EXHALES) No? 609 00:34:12,050 --> 00:34:13,960 Uh... Um... What do you mean? 610 00:34:14,260 --> 00:34:18,010 Mommy, you've got tomatoes all over ya! Yes, darling, I know. 611 00:34:18,300 --> 00:34:21,350 I assume he offered you a job. I read the reviews. 612 00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:23,350 Uh, Andy, please don't do that, dear. 613 00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:26,480 I was just wiping the tomatoes off of you. I'll take care of it. 614 00:34:26,770 --> 00:34:28,520 You go on out and play, would you, please? Um... 615 00:34:28,810 --> 00:34:30,980 Can I play with the tomatoes? No. 616 00:34:31,270 --> 00:34:32,940 I like to squish 'em around. 617 00:34:33,230 --> 00:34:35,530 Would you... Will you please stop that, Andrew... Andrew! 618 00:34:35,820 --> 00:34:37,400 And do as you're told? Well, darling? 619 00:34:38,530 --> 00:34:40,530 Well, um... Um, actually, 620 00:34:40,820 --> 00:34:44,740 um, Mr. Palmer did offer me a job. 621 00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:46,580 He did. 622 00:34:46,870 --> 00:34:49,370 But I turned him down flat... Many times. 623 00:34:49,670 --> 00:34:51,460 Even asked me to leave. I did. 624 00:34:52,380 --> 00:34:53,500 Go on. 625 00:34:54,670 --> 00:34:56,880 And, um... (EXHALES) 626 00:34:59,090 --> 00:35:02,680 But I just couldn't say no to $80,000! 627 00:35:02,970 --> 00:35:05,220 80,0007? Yes! 628 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:08,430 That's ridiculous! (STAMMERS) That's just what I said. 629 00:35:08,730 --> 00:35:11,560 Well, look, I'm sure that you two would be most comfortable and happy 630 00:35:11,850 --> 00:35:14,070 discussing my ridiculous offer in private. 631 00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,480 I'll call you tomorrow. Bye now. 632 00:35:18,820 --> 00:35:20,820 (FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS) 633 00:35:21,780 --> 00:35:23,700 Beverly. Huh? 634 00:35:24,990 --> 00:35:26,540 Beverly, what are you thinking? 635 00:35:26,830 --> 00:35:30,120 Um... Uh... I'm thinking of taking a shower. 636 00:35:30,410 --> 00:35:32,540 Beverly! 637 00:35:32,830 --> 00:35:37,510 Well, for one thing, you'll be leaving the children alone too often. 638 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:41,050 And I can't believe they're going to pay you $80,000 639 00:35:41,340 --> 00:35:43,760 just to come down to the studio once a week. 640 00:35:44,050 --> 00:35:46,260 Why is Daddy yelling at Mommy? 641 00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:48,430 ‘Cause Mommy wants tobe a TV star, 642 00:35:48,720 --> 00:35:50,810 and Daddy doesn't want her to be. 643 00:35:51,100 --> 00:35:52,730 Oh, that's mean! 644 00:35:53,940 --> 00:35:55,020 It's not as if we need the money. 645 00:35:55,310 --> 00:35:56,940 Our bank balance is healthy. 646 00:35:57,230 --> 00:35:59,070 There's no reason for you to work. 647 00:36:00,150 --> 00:36:02,570 Dr. Boyer, you are a fraud! 648 00:36:04,740 --> 00:36:07,120 Oh! Well, now, how did you arrive at that? 649 00:36:07,410 --> 00:36:10,200 Oh! I've got you now, dear. 650 00:36:10,500 --> 00:36:12,620 I've got you now, right here, and I quote, 651 00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:15,630 "In some cases, household duties, important as they are, 652 00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:18,880 "are not sufficient to gratify a woman's desire for expression. 653 00:36:19,170 --> 00:36:21,880 "Mrs. America might do well to start early in her marriage 654 00:36:22,180 --> 00:36:26,220 "a planned cultivation of outside interests and hobbies." 655 00:36:26,510 --> 00:36:28,640 Ridiculous! Ah, you wrote it, darling. 656 00:36:28,930 --> 00:36:31,430 I know I did, but it doesn't pertain to you. 657 00:36:31,730 --> 00:36:33,810 Oh, it doesn't? Certainly not. 658 00:36:34,100 --> 00:36:36,480 You mean, you're planning for our kids to remain young forever. 659 00:36:36,770 --> 00:36:38,190 Of course I'm not. 660 00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:41,110 Daddy's not planning for us to remain young. 661 00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:43,280 Can he do that? 662 00:36:44,490 --> 00:36:46,990 You have outside interests and hobbies. 663 00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:50,750 You have the PTA, and you make your own ketchup. 664 00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:52,580 The PTA and home-bottled ketchup. 665 00:36:52,870 --> 00:36:56,500 That is it, and it's not very fulfilling. 666 00:36:56,790 --> 00:37:00,300 Oh. Well, I didn't realize your life lacked fulfillment. 667 00:37:00,590 --> 00:37:03,930 You've always shouted how being a doctor's wife was career enough. 668 00:37:04,220 --> 00:37:06,680 Oh, itis. Darling, I didn't mean to sound as if I'm unhappy. 669 00:37:06,970 --> 00:37:09,010 I'm very happy, and you know that. 670 00:37:09,310 --> 00:37:13,310 But... But selling Happy Soap would make you happier. 671 00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:17,360 You know that I would never consciously go out looking for a job, don't you? 672 00:37:17,650 --> 00:37:20,980 But to have something like this just land in my lap... 673 00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:27,490 Honey. Honey? 674 00:37:28,820 --> 00:37:30,870 It's only once a week. 675 00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:34,580 And I won't let anything interfere with my wifely duties. I promise. 676 00:37:38,630 --> 00:37:41,210 (CHUCKLES) Shot down by my own artillery. 677 00:37:41,500 --> 00:37:43,550 (SQUEALING) 678 00:37:44,220 --> 00:37:46,470 Mmm! 679 00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:50,430 The program is over at 9:00, so I should be home by 10:30, Olivia. 680 00:37:50,720 --> 00:37:54,350 And, um... Oh, Andrew hasn't had his vitamin pills, so see that he gets those. 681 00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:56,690 And Maggie wants to wear her flowered panties to school tomorrow, 682 00:37:56,980 --> 00:37:58,350 so you'll have to hand wash them, if you don't mind. 683 00:37:58,650 --> 00:38:00,110 I will. 684 00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:03,030 And let me think. Oh, yeah. If Dr. Boyer comes home before I do, 685 00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:05,570 tell him there's a note in the kitchen on the board. 686 00:38:05,860 --> 00:38:08,070 You know, the children want to watch me on television tonight, 687 00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:10,700 and, um, I said absolutely not because it's too late. 688 00:38:10,990 --> 00:38:13,660 So if they give you an argument, Olivia, you let ‘em watch. 689 00:38:13,950 --> 00:38:16,870 Children! Mommy's leaving. Come on. Hurry up. I'm late. 690 00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:18,420 I want a kiss. 691 00:38:18,710 --> 00:38:20,080 Bye, Mommy! Bye, Mommy! 692 00:38:20,380 --> 00:38:23,460 Goodbye... Oh! What have you been doing? 693 00:38:23,750 --> 00:38:26,380 I thought they were watching television. Oh! 694 00:38:26,670 --> 00:38:30,590 I'm making Andy's hair smell happy again, like my piano teacher! 695 00:38:30,890 --> 00:38:32,850 Mommy, the happy smell wore off. 696 00:38:33,140 --> 00:38:35,850 Something else is gonna wear off if you don't get up in that bathroom right away! 697 00:38:36,140 --> 00:38:38,060 Now hurry up. You know better than that. Olivia, I'm so late. 698 00:38:38,350 --> 00:38:39,730 I'll take care of the little devils. All right. 699 00:38:40,020 --> 00:38:43,770 Make sure they don't drown each other! Goodbye! Goodbye, all! 700 00:38:44,070 --> 00:38:45,900 See yal 701 00:38:46,190 --> 00:38:48,490 What did he say? "The happy smell wore off"? 702 00:38:48,780 --> 00:38:50,990 (LAUGHS) 703 00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:53,580 "Mommy, the happy smell wore off." 704 00:38:55,240 --> 00:38:57,330 Those were his exact words. 705 00:38:57,620 --> 00:39:01,130 And, um, well, there he was, standing in the hallway 706 00:39:01,420 --> 00:39:05,460 with a head full of shampoo dripping all over my nice blue rug. 707 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,050 Oh, boy. Is he gonna get it when I get home. 708 00:39:08,340 --> 00:39:11,430 Maggie said she was making his hair smell happy. 709 00:39:11,720 --> 00:39:14,810 l... I know it sounds silly, of course, 710 00:39:15,100 --> 00:39:18,480 but I always say, "Don't knock it till you try it." 711 00:39:18,770 --> 00:39:21,270 And, um, uh, tonight I'm going to go home 712 00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:23,480 and shampoo my hair with Happy Soap, 713 00:39:23,770 --> 00:39:25,270 and I'll let you know. 714 00:39:28,030 --> 00:39:30,820 Oh! Oh. Um, I meant to tell you, 715 00:39:31,110 --> 00:39:33,870 uh, don't forget you can shower with it. 716 00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:35,790 And we know it's good for that. 717 00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:39,830 Bye. 718 00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:42,330 ANNOUNCER:We will return to the third act of Happy Playhouse... 719 00:39:42,630 --> 00:39:45,250 ...after a brief pause. Gentlemen, what do you think? 720 00:39:45,540 --> 00:39:48,960 Would you hire her to sell soap? 721 00:39:49,260 --> 00:39:52,800 It's difficult to make a snap appraisal until we test-market her potential. 722 00:39:53,090 --> 00:39:55,010 I'd have to go along with Billings on that. 723 00:39:55,300 --> 00:39:58,560 I'd rather not comment until exploratory samplings can be made. 724 00:39:58,850 --> 00:40:01,850 Well, I advised against it, but they hired her anyway. 725 00:40:02,140 --> 00:40:03,810 You mean she's already been hired? 726 00:40:04,110 --> 00:40:05,940 One year, solid. But why? 727 00:40:06,230 --> 00:40:08,860 Because my dad ordered it. 728 00:40:09,150 --> 00:40:13,160 Oh. Well, uh, now that I think about it, 729 00:40:13,450 --> 00:40:15,740 I'm inclined to go along with your dad. 730 00:40:16,030 --> 00:40:18,870 She has a new and honest approach to the product. 731 00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:21,870 Yes, yes. I'm tempted to go along with Billings going along with your dad. 732 00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:23,330 She does have a... (STAMMERING) 733 00:40:23,620 --> 00:40:24,960 New and honest approach? 734 00:40:25,250 --> 00:40:27,040 Yes, yes! I'll go along with that. 735 00:40:27,340 --> 00:40:28,960 What do you think, Van Camp? 736 00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:30,760 Oh, I quite agree. 737 00:40:31,050 --> 00:40:33,380 With what? Well, with everything. 738 00:40:34,220 --> 00:40:35,390 Good thinking. 739 00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:37,180 (KNOCKING) Come in. 740 00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:41,560 (MEN EXCLAIMING) Mrs. Boyer! 741 00:40:41,850 --> 00:40:43,020 We were just talking about you. 742 00:40:43,310 --> 00:40:44,730 Mike. Was I all right? Really? 743 00:40:45,020 --> 00:40:46,980 You were wonderful. I was so nervous. 744 00:40:47,270 --> 00:40:49,230 On! I wish you'd write things out for me. 745 00:40:49,530 --> 00:40:51,190 I didn't know... Mrs. Boyer. 746 00:40:51,490 --> 00:40:52,450 Hello, Mr. Fraleigh. 747 00:40:52,740 --> 00:40:54,780 Uh, Mr. Billings, Mr. Stokely, Mr. Van Camp. 748 00:40:55,070 --> 00:40:57,660 How do you do, gentlemen? ALL: How do you do? 749 00:40:57,950 --> 00:41:00,080 You were just fine, Mrs. Boyer. 750 00:41:00,370 --> 00:41:01,250 That's exactly what Dad wants. 751 00:41:01,540 --> 00:41:03,410 Oh, good! I hope I pleased him. 752 00:41:03,710 --> 00:41:06,250 You were delightful. We'll tell you all about it at the party tonight. 753 00:41:06,540 --> 00:41:09,590 Oh, good. Oh, what party? It's at the Cartier Hotel. 754 00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:12,300 I want all my staff and network people to meet you. 755 00:41:12,590 --> 00:41:15,590 Oh! Oh, I didn't know about a party. 756 00:41:15,890 --> 00:41:16,890 Oh? 757 00:41:17,300 --> 00:41:18,390 No. 758 00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:21,100 Uh, and my husband's expecting me at home. 759 00:41:21,390 --> 00:41:24,690 Oh, well, he would be perfectly welcome to join us. 760 00:41:24,980 --> 00:41:27,440 After all, you are our guest of honor. 761 00:41:27,730 --> 00:41:28,900 MIKE: Why, certainly! 762 00:41:29,980 --> 00:41:31,900 Oh, really? 763 00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:37,160 Oh. Oh, that's very nice. 764 00:41:37,450 --> 00:41:40,530 Um... Uh, maybe I could call him at the hospital 765 00:41:40,830 --> 00:41:42,620 and he could meet me at the party 766 00:41:42,910 --> 00:41:44,080 when he... When he's finished. 767 00:41:44,370 --> 00:41:47,040 Fine. Fine. That's fine. Oh, I'll do that. Good. 768 00:41:47,330 --> 00:41:52,210 Well, I hate to be a killjoy, but shouldn't we watch the art we're sponsoring this week? 769 00:41:52,510 --> 00:41:54,420 Oh, good heavens. (LAUGHS) 770 00:41:54,720 --> 00:41:56,510 Third act. Third act. 771 00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:58,340 Mike, uh, may I phone from here? 772 00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:00,100 Yeah, sure. Right here. 773 00:42:07,190 --> 00:42:10,020 Oh, hello. Is Dr. Boyer there, please? 774 00:42:10,980 --> 00:42:13,230 Oh. Yes, I'll wait. 775 00:42:13,530 --> 00:42:14,900 Lorraine, what a surprise. 776 00:42:15,190 --> 00:42:18,030 You will join me in a glass of champagne, won't you? 777 00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:20,070 Waiter? Another glass, please. 778 00:42:20,370 --> 00:42:22,330 Well, what a pleasant surprise. 779 00:42:22,620 --> 00:42:25,660 I must say you're looking marvelously well, my dear. 780 00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:30,000 And in honor of this occasion, I'd like to propose a toast. 781 00:42:30,290 --> 00:42:34,510 To you, Lorraine. Thank heavens I didn't marry you. 782 00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:40,300 Tell me, do you still have those magnificent, soft, white shoulders? 783 00:42:40,590 --> 00:42:42,890 Whom do you tantalize with them now? 784 00:42:44,720 --> 00:42:46,520 (COUGHING) You... 785 00:42:47,270 --> 00:42:49,690 You... You tramp! 786 00:42:49,980 --> 00:42:53,520 Waiter! (SPUTTERING) You tramp! 787 00:42:53,820 --> 00:42:56,280 (WHISPERS) Hey. Isn't that scene like the one last week 788 00:42:56,570 --> 00:42:58,530 with the Nazi and that woman, you know? 789 00:42:58,820 --> 00:43:02,280 Similar, but the public doesn't notice things like that. 790 00:43:02,580 --> 00:43:04,160 They did that play last week, 791 00:43:04,450 --> 00:43:06,700 except they wore different costumes. 792 00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:09,710 Yeah, it's the same story. 793 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:13,000 It's much too subtle a variation for the public to detect. 794 00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:15,210 Yes. 795 00:43:15,500 --> 00:43:17,920 Oh, no, don't bother him now. 796 00:43:18,220 --> 00:43:22,090 But would you please, um, give him a message”? 797 00:43:22,390 --> 00:43:26,520 He's to meet you at the Cartier Hotel in the private dining room. 798 00:43:26,810 --> 00:43:28,310 (MURMURS) Till 1:00. 799 00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:31,600 All right, Mrs. Boyer. I'll see he gets the message. 800 00:43:31,900 --> 00:43:35,570 WOMAN: (ON PA) Dr. Krindle, you are wanted in Surgery One. 801 00:43:35,860 --> 00:43:40,900 Oh, hello. Uh, I'm trying to get in touch with Mrs. Beverly Boyer. 802 00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:43,490 There ain't nobody here now. 803 00:43:43,780 --> 00:43:46,740 Beverly? Oh, the one that did the commercial. 804 00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:49,200 (CHUCKLING) Hey, cute girl. 805 00:43:49,500 --> 00:43:50,960 She's gonna be on next week. 806 00:43:51,250 --> 00:43:53,330 Why don't you try and give her a ring then? 807 00:43:53,630 --> 00:43:55,880 Thanks, I'll do that. 808 00:43:59,720 --> 00:44:01,380 (CHATTERING) 809 00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:03,180 Thank you. (CHUCKLING) 810 00:44:03,470 --> 00:44:05,640 Excuse me. Oh, excuse me. 811 00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:10,730 Oh, Beverly. 812 00:44:11,020 --> 00:44:12,940 Oh, you must be so proud of yourself. 813 00:44:13,230 --> 00:44:14,690 (LAUGHS) 814 00:44:14,980 --> 00:44:16,940 I'd be absolutely petrified if I had to stand in front of a camera. 815 00:44:17,230 --> 00:44:18,900 I was! I was a nervous wreck. 816 00:44:19,190 --> 00:44:21,240 Oh, I didn't know what I was going to say. Oh. 817 00:44:21,530 --> 00:44:23,110 I just sort of rattled on and on. 818 00:44:23,410 --> 00:44:25,530 Your rattling is what made that commercial. 819 00:44:25,820 --> 00:44:28,540 Really, it's so refreshing to hear someone speak so naturally 820 00:44:28,830 --> 00:44:30,660 and so honestly about a product. 821 00:44:30,950 --> 00:44:33,620 Thank you, Mrs. Fraleigh. We're pleased that you like our new approach. 822 00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:35,170 Your new approach? 823 00:44:35,460 --> 00:44:37,460 Why, yes. It's been on our launching pad for quite a while. 824 00:44:37,750 --> 00:44:40,050 Just waited until we found our little astronaut. 825 00:44:40,340 --> 00:44:41,800 (GIGGLING) 826 00:44:42,090 --> 00:44:44,220 We haven't seen Dr. Boyer. 827 00:44:44,510 --> 00:44:46,180 Oh, that's right! 828 00:44:46,470 --> 00:44:48,260 Um, what time is it, please, Mr. Fraleigh? 829 00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:49,810 After 1:00. Is it? 830 00:44:50,100 --> 00:44:52,430 Oh, well, he should be along any minute now. 831 00:44:52,730 --> 00:44:54,730 "Cold fried chicken in the meat keeper. 832 00:44:55,020 --> 00:44:57,360 "Will be home about 10:30. 833 00:44:57,650 --> 00:44:59,940 "And I love you. Bev." 834 00:45:05,700 --> 00:45:07,620 Olivia? 835 00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:15,290 (WHISPERS) Olivia? Are you awake? 836 00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:20,380 Olivia, are you asleep? 837 00:45:23,470 --> 00:45:25,510 Olivia. (SCREAMS) Who are you and what do you want? 838 00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:28,140 (SCREAMS) Oh! It's me! 839 00:45:28,430 --> 00:45:29,430 Oh! (GROANS) 840 00:45:29,720 --> 00:45:32,680 Oh, Dr. Boyer, I'm terribly sorry. 841 00:45:32,980 --> 00:45:34,770 I didn't know it was you. 842 00:45:35,060 --> 00:45:37,100 Do you always sleep with a bat? 843 00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:40,360 Well, you read such awful things in the newspapers. 844 00:45:40,650 --> 00:45:43,110 A girl can't be too careful. 845 00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:44,400 What was it you wanted? 846 00:45:44,700 --> 00:45:46,320 Did my wife call tonight? 847 00:45:46,610 --> 00:45:48,620 It's after 1:00. She's not home yet. 848 00:45:48,910 --> 00:45:50,700 You mean she isn't in the house? 849 00:45:50,990 --> 00:45:52,290 No, she isn't. 850 00:45:52,580 --> 00:45:56,250 You mean you and I are here alone? 851 00:45:56,540 --> 00:45:59,330 Now, calm yourself, Olivia. I didn't come here for any foul purpose. 852 00:45:59,630 --> 00:46:01,710 I... I... Here, Olivia. (SCREAMING) Get out of my room! 853 00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,420 Now, Olivia! Get out of my room! Get out of my room! 854 00:46:04,720 --> 00:46:07,550 And I hereby tender my resignation! 855 00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:09,550 Accepted! 856 00:46:09,850 --> 00:46:13,220 Mommy! Mommy, I'm scared! (PHONE RINGING) 857 00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:16,770 Hello. Andy. Mommy, I'm scared. 858 00:46:17,060 --> 00:46:19,150 BEVERLY:You're home? Yes! And where the devil are you? 859 00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:21,400 Mommy, I'm scared! Andy, it's all right. 860 00:46:21,690 --> 00:46:24,990 Gerald, what is going on around there? 861 00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:26,900 Is... Is that Andy crying? 862 00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:28,860 Yes. Well, what woke him? 863 00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:30,370 Olivia was screaming. 864 00:46:30,660 --> 00:46:33,080 Olivia? What was she screaming about? 865 00:46:33,370 --> 00:46:35,160 She thought I wanted to get into bed with her. 866 00:46:35,450 --> 00:46:37,710 She thought you wanted to... (SHOUTS) What? 867 00:46:39,790 --> 00:46:41,420 I'll be right home. 868 00:46:41,710 --> 00:46:43,710 (SLAMS RECEIVER) (PHONE DINGS) 869 00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:47,380 Where have you been? Gerald, what happened? 870 00:46:47,670 --> 00:46:48,680 (HORN HONKING) 871 00:46:48,970 --> 00:46:50,800 Olivia, your taxi's here. 872 00:46:51,090 --> 00:46:53,890 Olivia, where are you going? 873 00:46:54,180 --> 00:46:55,430 I'm leaving. 874 00:46:55,720 --> 00:46:58,600 I'll not linger in this den of iniquity one moment longer. 875 00:46:58,890 --> 00:47:01,150 But, Olivia, you were so happy here, 876 00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:03,150 and you know we all love you. 877 00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:06,030 Well, I don't need that kind of love. 878 00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:08,070 Olivia! 879 00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:10,820 Gerald Boyer, will you please tell me what went on in here tonight? 880 00:47:11,110 --> 00:47:13,660 All I can tell you is if you'd been home where you belong... 881 00:47:13,950 --> 00:47:15,950 (TAXI PULLS AWAY) Whatever went on would not have gone on. 882 00:47:16,250 --> 00:47:18,000 Where are you going? 883 00:47:18,290 --> 00:47:21,210 It is all right if I take time out from my household duties to deliver a baby. 884 00:47:21,500 --> 00:47:24,460 ANDY: Mommy, Mommy, I'm scared! 885 00:47:24,750 --> 00:47:25,880 Mommy, I'm scared! Oh! 886 00:47:31,510 --> 00:47:33,390 MAN: Look into the lens. 887 00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:37,890 Wet your lips. Now, love that soap. 888 00:47:38,180 --> 00:47:41,310 Good! Good! 889 00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:43,190 Got it. 890 00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:45,650 (EXHALES) 891 00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:48,440 Mike. Mike? 892 00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:52,780 I think kissing the bar of soap Is a bit much, really. 893 00:47:53,070 --> 00:47:56,490 The caption will read, "Happy Soap saved my life." 894 00:47:56,790 --> 00:47:58,330 You'd kiss someone who saved your life, wouldn't ya? 895 00:47:58,620 --> 00:48:00,790 Just one more now, darling. 896 00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:06,670 How much longer will I be, please? 897 00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:09,090 PHOTOGRAPHER: Just once more, dear. 898 00:48:09,380 --> 00:48:11,760 I've got to get going, Mike. I've got a new maid, and I... 899 00:48:12,050 --> 00:48:15,390 She's gonna run into difficulties if I... Beverly, please! 900 00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:18,470 Yeah, honey. Let's... Let's just get this one last one now. 901 00:48:19,060 --> 00:48:20,890 Good! Good. 902 00:48:21,890 --> 00:48:23,650 (PHONE RINGS) 903 00:48:27,940 --> 00:48:30,030 (RINGS) 904 00:48:32,070 --> 00:48:33,700 (IN GERMAN ACCENT) Hello. What is it? 905 00:48:33,990 --> 00:48:35,620 Hello. This is Dr. Boyer. 906 00:48:35,910 --> 00:48:39,410 Dr. Boyer nicht home. He hospital. 907 00:48:39,700 --> 00:48:42,750 No, I'm Dr. Boyer. I'd like to speak to Mrs. Boyer. 908 00:48:43,040 --> 00:48:46,170 Mrs. Boyer picture parlor. 909 00:48:46,460 --> 00:48:49,630 Ich sag nein! Doctor not home! 910 00:48:50,590 --> 00:48:52,510 Hello. Hello? 911 00:48:54,430 --> 00:48:56,390 I guess I'm not home. 912 00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:57,890 Miss Thompson. 913 00:48:58,180 --> 00:48:59,470 Yes, Doctor? 914 00:49:01,060 --> 00:49:02,810 Do you speak any German? 915 00:49:03,100 --> 00:49:04,810 A little high school German. 916 00:49:05,100 --> 00:49:07,900 Would you please call my home and try to make the new housekeeper understand 917 00:49:08,190 --> 00:49:12,190 that I will be home for dinner, but I'll be a little late? 918 00:49:12,490 --> 00:49:13,780 I'll try, Doctor. 919 00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:15,700 (PHONE RINGS) 920 00:49:17,370 --> 00:49:19,080 I'll get it, Mrs. Goethe! 921 00:49:20,580 --> 00:49:21,870 Hello. 922 00:49:22,160 --> 00:49:26,000 Hallo. My name ist Fraeulein Thompson. 923 00:49:26,290 --> 00:49:29,290 Ich bin eine krankenschwester. 924 00:49:29,590 --> 00:49:31,670 Oh, uh, what... 925 00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:33,590 Oh! Oh, um, 926 00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:37,800 ein moment, please... Bitte... Bitte! 927 00:49:38,100 --> 00:49:40,680 Uh, Mrs. Goethe, it's for you! 928 00:49:40,970 --> 00:49:43,310 (SPEAKING GERMAN) 929 00:49:45,060 --> 00:49:46,900 Hallo. Was ist? 930 00:49:47,190 --> 00:49:49,610 Uh,ich call for Dr. Boyer. 931 00:49:49,900 --> 00:49:52,360 Doctor not home! 932 00:49:52,650 --> 00:49:55,030 Call spaeter, ja? 933 00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:56,740 She says you're not home. 934 00:50:00,660 --> 00:50:02,040 She's right. 935 00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:10,130 Hey! Oh, darling, I didn't expect you tonight. You should have called me. 936 00:50:10,420 --> 00:50:13,050 Well, I did, but every time I called, I found out I wasn't home. 937 00:50:13,340 --> 00:50:14,380 What? Oh, never mind. 938 00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:16,260 Hi, Doc! 939 00:50:16,550 --> 00:50:18,180 Your wife's gonna be queen of the 10-second station breaks. 940 00:50:18,470 --> 00:50:19,390 I'm filming a commercial. 941 00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:21,180 What time will you be home? 942 00:50:21,470 --> 00:50:23,220 I'm sort of free tonight. No babies due. 943 00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:24,890 Well, I shouldn't be too long, should I? 944 00:50:25,180 --> 00:50:26,480 It's only a 10-second commercial. 945 00:50:26,770 --> 00:50:27,640 Kiss me for good luck, darling. 946 00:50:27,940 --> 00:50:29,190 It's my first film. 947 00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:31,360 Oh! Goodbye, darling! 948 00:50:35,940 --> 00:50:37,900 You're tired? Good night. Thank you. 949 00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:40,820 No, I'm fine, Mike, except it took so much longer than I thought it was gonna take. 950 00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:42,580 Well, you were wonderful. Was I? 951 00:50:42,870 --> 00:50:44,660 You were. I tell you, you just have this... Thank you. 952 00:50:44,950 --> 00:50:47,580 Oh, darling! Darling, I'm so sorry I'm late. 953 00:50:47,870 --> 00:50:49,330 A 10-second commercial? 954 00:50:49,620 --> 00:50:52,920 Yeah. Well, I'll just drift off. Good night. It was wonderful. 955 00:50:53,210 --> 00:50:54,920 Good night, Mike. Thank you. Good night. 956 00:50:55,210 --> 00:50:57,760 Oh, honey, I just didn't dream it was gonna be as complicated as it was. 957 00:50:58,050 --> 00:51:01,390 You have no idea how long everything took, the makeup and the costumes and the hair. 958 00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:05,020 Where are you going? A baby that wasn't due decided it was. 959 00:51:05,310 --> 00:51:06,810 Oh. You better not wait up for me. 960 00:51:07,100 --> 00:51:09,520 Oh, sweetheart, it won't always be this hectic, I promise you. 961 00:51:09,810 --> 00:51:11,770 I hope not. Good night. 962 00:51:18,900 --> 00:51:23,330 (MUTTERS) Ah! Hello,Herr Doctor. Hello, Mrs. Goethe. 963 00:51:23,620 --> 00:51:24,870 I don't imagine Mrs. Boyer's home. 964 00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:27,040 Ja. Missus home. 965 00:51:27,330 --> 00:51:29,080 That's a surprise. Vat you say? 966 00:51:29,370 --> 00:51:31,670 Nothing. I didn't see her car in the driveway. 967 00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:35,210 Ah, carl! Car in back house. Oh, in the garage? 968 00:51:35,500 --> 00:51:39,550 Ja. Missus upstairs. Oh, she pretty! 969 00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:42,260 All dressed up! (WHISTLES) Pretty? 970 00:51:42,550 --> 00:51:43,760 Jal Is that so? 971 00:51:44,050 --> 00:51:45,680 Ja. (LAUGHING) 972 00:51:49,100 --> 00:51:51,690 Ah. You want something eat? 973 00:51:51,980 --> 00:51:53,480 Oh, perhaps... Later. 974 00:51:53,770 --> 00:51:55,230 Mmm-hmm. 975 00:51:55,520 --> 00:52:00,030 Oh! You pretty too! (WHISTLES) 976 00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:02,200 (CHUCKLING) 977 00:52:03,780 --> 00:52:05,450 Hmm. 978 00:52:30,350 --> 00:52:32,600 Oh! Oh, Gerald! 979 00:52:32,890 --> 00:52:34,440 Oh, honey, are you all right? 980 00:52:34,730 --> 00:52:38,280 Oh, darling. Darling? Darling. 981 00:52:38,570 --> 00:52:40,780 Are you all right? Oh. 982 00:52:41,070 --> 00:52:43,110 We were taking pictures, sweetheart. 983 00:52:43,410 --> 00:52:45,320 MIKE: Yes, we wanted to do this at the studio, but we... 984 00:52:45,620 --> 00:52:50,410 Yes, they did. And I thought it was a good idea to do it here. 985 00:52:51,910 --> 00:52:54,290 Oh! Mike, would you leave us alone for a minute? 986 00:52:54,580 --> 00:52:56,710 Yeah, yeah. All right, fellas. Let's take a break. 987 00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:59,050 Sweetheart. Oh. 988 00:53:00,090 --> 00:53:01,590 Oh. 989 00:53:02,720 --> 00:53:04,300 So this was your idea? 990 00:53:04,590 --> 00:53:06,050 Darling, I did it for you. 991 00:53:06,340 --> 00:53:09,390 For me? You had all this brought in here for me? How thoughtful. 992 00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:11,520 I meant us. 993 00:53:11,810 --> 00:53:13,810 Darling, we've seen each other so little lately 994 00:53:14,100 --> 00:53:15,350 that I thought, instead of going to a studio, 995 00:53:15,650 --> 00:53:17,520 if I were to do the layout here at home... 996 00:53:17,810 --> 00:53:19,900 Oh, we'd get a chance to see each other. 997 00:53:20,190 --> 00:53:21,570 Yes. 998 00:53:21,860 --> 00:53:22,900 I'll be finished in a couple of hours. 999 00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:24,990 I'm due at the hospital in a couple of hours. 1000 00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:26,490 Oh. 1001 00:53:26,780 --> 00:53:28,490 Well, I'll just have the photographers wait, 1002 00:53:28,780 --> 00:53:30,990 and then they can get their shots after you leave. 1003 00:53:31,290 --> 00:53:33,830 Oh, and we could "see each other," 1004 00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:35,620 while they wait in the hall? 1005 00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:38,670 Gerald Boyer! 1006 00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:40,670 Where are you going? 1007 00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:43,670 I am going to take a drive in an open convertible 1008 00:53:43,970 --> 00:53:45,970 and try very hard to cool off! 1009 00:53:46,260 --> 00:53:47,140 (SLAMS) 1010 00:53:55,100 --> 00:53:57,020 (HORN HONKS) 1011 00:53:57,310 --> 00:53:59,400 DRIVER: Hey! Why don't you look what you're doing? 1012 00:54:00,190 --> 00:54:04,570 (HORNS HONKING) 1013 00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:09,160 (HONKING CONTINUES) (SIREN WAILING) 1014 00:54:19,250 --> 00:54:21,710 Let me have your driver's license, mister. 1015 00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:25,550 What? Oh. Oh. It's all right, Officer. I'm a doctor. 1016 00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:27,550 I don't care if you're Peter Pan. 1017 00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:30,390 That's no reason to stop short like that. Give me your driver's license. 1018 00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:33,220 Mmm-hmm. But that's my wife up there. 1019 00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:35,680 That's very nice. (SIGHS) 1020 00:54:35,980 --> 00:54:38,770 Well, wouldn't you stop and look if you suddenly saw your wife 1021 00:54:39,060 --> 00:54:40,980 staring down at you from a billboard? 1022 00:54:41,270 --> 00:54:45,820 I wouldn't stop and look if my wife was hangin' up there. 1023 00:54:46,110 --> 00:54:48,490 Here. Now, get that car out of here. 1024 00:54:48,780 --> 00:54:50,740 And the next time, look at your wife at home, will ya? 1025 00:54:51,030 --> 00:54:52,990 I would if she was ever there. 1026 00:54:55,870 --> 00:54:58,330 Ten bucks just to look at my wife? 1027 00:55:06,260 --> 00:55:08,760 There. Some vitamins and minerals I'd like you to take. 1028 00:55:09,050 --> 00:55:11,890 Mmm-hmm. Doctor, couldn't you give me a little clue 1029 00:55:12,180 --> 00:55:13,760 as to when I might expect it? 1030 00:55:14,060 --> 00:55:15,720 I know how impatient you are, Mrs. Fraleigh, 1031 00:55:16,020 --> 00:55:18,140 but really there's nothing to do now but wait. 1032 00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:19,440 You may not believe it, Doctor, 1033 00:55:19,730 --> 00:55:21,810 but I am really not impatient. 1034 00:55:22,110 --> 00:55:24,730 I've waited such a long time for this experience, 1035 00:55:25,030 --> 00:55:27,780 I'm savoring every minute of it. 1036 00:55:28,070 --> 00:55:30,780 You know something? (LAUGHS) 1037 00:55:31,070 --> 00:55:36,660 I've... I've been taking very long walks up and down Fifth Avenue. 1038 00:55:36,950 --> 00:55:39,410 Fine. Exercise is very important. 1039 00:55:39,710 --> 00:55:42,080 I don't walk for the exercise. 1040 00:55:42,380 --> 00:55:44,790 I walk to show off. 1041 00:55:45,090 --> 00:55:48,470 I'm proud of my condition. Is that silly? 1042 00:55:48,760 --> 00:55:51,470 Silly? That's about the healthiest attitude you could have. 1043 00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:54,470 Oh, I don't know when I've been so happy. 1044 00:55:54,760 --> 00:56:00,480 Oh, I guess there's nothing more fulfilling in life than having a baby. 1045 00:56:00,770 --> 00:56:02,730 Oh! Listen to me... 1046 00:56:03,020 --> 00:56:04,860 Something you've probably heard a thousand times. 1047 00:56:05,150 --> 00:56:06,980 But never stated so beautifully. 1048 00:56:07,280 --> 00:56:08,780 Thank you, Doctor. I'll see you next week. 1049 00:56:09,070 --> 00:56:10,740 If not before. 1050 00:56:11,030 --> 00:56:12,490 Oh! (CHUCKLES) 1051 00:56:23,790 --> 00:56:28,210 EVELYN:There's nothing more fulfilling in life than having a baby. 1052 00:56:36,390 --> 00:56:38,640 Miss Thompson, would you come in, please? 1053 00:56:41,180 --> 00:56:42,140 (DOOR OPENS) 1054 00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:43,520 Yes, Doctor? 1055 00:56:43,810 --> 00:56:45,060 Miss Thompson, 1056 00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:47,520 would you please send three dozen roses to my home 1057 00:56:47,820 --> 00:56:50,820 and a couple of bottles of champagne, imported, 1058 00:56:51,110 --> 00:56:55,320 then reserve a table at the Ritz Pavilion. 1059 00:56:55,620 --> 00:56:57,740 And call Mrs. Boyer and have her meet me there at 8:00. 1060 00:56:58,030 --> 00:57:00,250 Yes, Doctor. Is it Mrs. Boyer's birthday? 1061 00:57:00,540 --> 00:57:02,750 Her birthday? No. No, not exactly. 1062 00:57:07,460 --> 00:57:10,340 But it may be somebody's. 1063 00:57:10,630 --> 00:57:13,630 Party of four. 10:00? Yes, sir. 1064 00:57:13,930 --> 00:57:15,510 Oh, this is a marvelous idea. 1065 00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:17,390 I should have invited you out weeks ago. Yes. 1066 00:57:17,680 --> 00:57:21,180 Yes, sir? Yes. I have a reservation. Dr. Gerald Boyer. 1067 00:57:23,350 --> 00:57:24,690 Oh, yes, Dr. Boyer. 1068 00:57:24,980 --> 00:57:26,100 There will be a little waiting. 1069 00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:28,520 Your table will be ready soon. 1070 00:57:28,820 --> 00:57:31,650 I made the reservation for 8:00. It's after that now. 1071 00:57:31,940 --> 00:57:35,910 I am sorry, sir. We have been rather busy tonight. Please. 1072 00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:39,740 Oh, aren't you... Aren't you Beverly Boyer, the Happy Girl? 1073 00:57:40,030 --> 00:57:40,910 Yes, I am. 1074 00:57:41,200 --> 00:57:43,080 Oh, may I have your autograph 1075 00:57:43,370 --> 00:57:45,670 for my little granddaughter? 1076 00:57:45,960 --> 00:57:47,420 She's only three... Thank you. 1077 00:57:47,710 --> 00:57:50,750 But she just loves to listen to you talk about your soap. 1078 00:57:51,050 --> 00:57:52,260 Really? Oh, how nice. 1079 00:57:52,550 --> 00:57:54,670 How stupid of me, Miss Boyer. Please forgive me. 1080 00:57:54,970 --> 00:57:56,630 Of course I have a table for you. 1081 00:57:56,930 --> 00:57:58,090 Thank you. Waiter. 1082 00:57:58,390 --> 00:58:00,260 Table three for Miss Boyer and party. 1083 00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:02,060 Please follow me. 1084 00:58:18,820 --> 00:58:20,330 Thank you. 1085 00:58:21,660 --> 00:58:25,160 Perhaps Miss Beverly wish to have some wine. 1086 00:58:25,460 --> 00:58:27,960 Uh, we'd like some champagne, please. 1087 00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:32,250 Well! 1088 00:58:33,340 --> 00:58:34,590 Thank you. Excuse me. 1089 00:58:34,880 --> 00:58:37,010 Aren't you the Happy Girl, Beverly? 1090 00:58:37,300 --> 00:58:39,840 Yes, I am. Oh. See, Lena, I told you. 1091 00:58:40,140 --> 00:58:42,390 May we have your autograph, Miss Beverly? 1092 00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:45,180 Mmm-hmm. My niece's daughter would adore it. 1093 00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:46,480 Do you have a pen? 1094 00:58:46,770 --> 00:58:48,230 Oh. Uh, I don't know what... 1095 00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:50,520 Oh, here. Here, dear. Thank you. 1096 00:58:56,530 --> 00:58:58,070 WOMAN: Now me. 1097 00:58:58,360 --> 00:59:00,780 It's for a neighbor's child. Would you personalize it? 1098 00:59:01,070 --> 00:59:06,330 Just write, "To Georgie, a sweet, darling little boy of whom I am very fond of." 1099 00:59:06,620 --> 00:59:08,370 And sign it. 1100 00:59:08,670 --> 00:59:11,330 Pardon me, but are you anybody? 1101 00:59:11,630 --> 00:59:12,840 Well... 1102 00:59:13,130 --> 00:59:14,090 This is my husband. 1103 00:59:14,380 --> 00:59:16,460 Oh, Mr. Beverly! 1104 00:59:16,760 --> 00:59:18,130 No. Dr. Beverly. 1105 00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:21,090 I mean Dr. Boyer. 1106 00:59:21,390 --> 00:59:23,680 WOMAN: Married to a doctor. Isn't that nice? 1107 00:59:23,970 --> 00:59:26,270 We'll be watching you, remember, on TV, Beverly. 1108 00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:28,850 You remember to wave to us. 1109 00:59:29,140 --> 00:59:30,270 Thank you. Uh, my pen. 1110 00:59:30,560 --> 00:59:33,020 Oh, I'm sorry. (GIGGLES) 1111 00:59:33,310 --> 00:59:36,940 Oh, darling, I'm sorry. What a thing to say. 1112 00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:39,650 That's all right, sweetheart. I'm not that sensitive. 1113 00:59:42,910 --> 00:59:44,870 It is Beverly Boyer. 1114 00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:48,370 You're so much prettier on television. I didn't recognize you. 1115 00:59:48,660 --> 00:59:52,130 Aren't you the announcer who says, "Here she is, Miss Beverly"? 1116 00:59:52,420 --> 00:59:54,960 I take it back. I am that sensitive. Come on, sweetheart. 1117 00:59:55,250 --> 00:59:57,710 Oh! But, Miss Beverly, I want your autograph. 1118 00:59:58,010 --> 00:59:59,470 Please, won't you... I'm sorry. 1119 00:59:59,760 --> 01:00:01,050 We don't have a pen. 1120 01:00:01,340 --> 01:00:02,390 Uh... Oh. 1121 01:00:05,720 --> 01:00:07,890 Has it ever occurred to any of you college brains 1122 01:00:08,180 --> 01:00:10,140 that we're not making full use of our girl? 1123 01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:14,150 But, Dad, she has been on the air every Friday for the past five months. 1124 01:00:14,440 --> 01:00:16,650 She is on billboards. Spot commercials. 1125 01:00:16,940 --> 01:00:17,820 Magazines. Radio. 1126 01:00:18,110 --> 01:00:19,610 Newspapers. What else is there? 1127 01:00:19,900 --> 01:00:20,740 What else is there? 1128 01:00:21,030 --> 01:00:23,110 There's Happy Detergent, you boobs. 1129 01:00:25,120 --> 01:00:26,990 Get another program and let her sell detergent. 1130 01:00:27,290 --> 01:00:29,370 Yes, Dad. Well, what kind of program, Dad? 1131 01:00:29,660 --> 01:00:31,620 What's the difference? 1132 01:00:31,910 --> 01:00:35,840 Get me one of them damn shows where everybody in the family is smarter than the father. 1133 01:00:36,130 --> 01:00:39,380 Or buy me a tall marshal with a goofy sidekick. 1134 01:00:39,670 --> 01:00:41,050 Don't matter. 1135 01:00:43,550 --> 01:00:45,050 Come on! 1136 01:00:47,010 --> 01:00:48,970 (TV PLAYING) 1137 01:00:49,270 --> 01:00:51,890 (CHANNELS CHANGING) 1138 01:00:52,770 --> 01:00:53,730 (WOMAN SCREAMS) 1139 01:00:57,520 --> 01:00:58,860 MAGGIE: Look at the color. 1140 01:00:59,150 --> 01:01:01,110 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 1141 01:01:01,400 --> 01:01:03,280 Andy, it's not a toy. It's a new set. 1142 01:01:03,570 --> 01:01:05,910 Now... You've gone too far. 1143 01:01:06,200 --> 01:01:07,120 (AIRPLANE ENGINE) One more. 1144 01:01:07,410 --> 01:01:08,330 That's enough. 1145 01:01:11,290 --> 01:01:12,790 Pour one. 1146 01:01:15,790 --> 01:01:17,920 We don't serve drinks to killers. 1147 01:01:18,210 --> 01:01:20,840 Now, Kitty, who'd I ever Kill? 1148 01:01:21,130 --> 01:01:23,840 My father and my brother, to name two. 1149 01:01:25,970 --> 01:01:29,430 Bartender, a bottle and two glasses. 1150 01:01:29,720 --> 01:01:31,770 Don't you two think you'd be more comfortable in bed? 1151 01:01:32,060 --> 01:01:33,640 We wanna see Mommy first. 1152 01:01:33,940 --> 01:01:35,690 We didn't see Mommy today. 1153 01:01:35,980 --> 01:01:38,230 Ja, they nicht see Mama today. 1154 01:01:38,520 --> 01:01:41,400 First they school and then Mama go to pretty parlor, and then... 1155 01:01:41,690 --> 01:01:43,360 All right, all right. You can see Mommy. 1156 01:01:43,650 --> 01:01:45,820 But right after Mommy to bed, huh? ...know me better than that. 1157 01:01:46,110 --> 01:01:48,070 All right, Kitty. 1158 01:01:48,370 --> 01:01:49,990 Pour. Pour! 1159 01:01:51,870 --> 01:01:54,830 She's gonna hit him on the head with the bottle. 1160 01:01:55,120 --> 01:01:57,000 But first she's gonna spritz him. 1161 01:01:57,290 --> 01:01:58,790 I'm not gonna hurt you, Kitty. 1162 01:02:00,550 --> 01:02:02,260 Why, you... You... 1163 01:02:03,880 --> 01:02:06,840 You... You floozy! 1164 01:02:07,140 --> 01:02:09,680 You... You tramp! 1165 01:02:09,970 --> 01:02:11,560 ANNOUNCER: In a moment, we'll see the conclusion 1166 01:02:11,850 --> 01:02:15,180 of this week's episode of Marshal Tucker, M.D. 1167 01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:17,650 But first, an important message 1168 01:02:17,940 --> 01:02:19,980 from our Happy Girl, Beverly Boyer. 1169 01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:23,110 Hi. 1170 01:02:23,400 --> 01:02:26,240 You know, it really seems funny talking to you on a Tuesday night, 1171 01:02:26,530 --> 01:02:29,410 since Friday's been my day to tell people about Happy Soap. 1172 01:02:29,700 --> 01:02:31,950 Well, they still haven't seen their Mommy today. 1173 01:02:32,870 --> 01:02:34,200 Mrs. Goethe. Oh. 1174 01:02:34,500 --> 01:02:36,040 ‘Course, I don't want you to get your hopes up too high, 1175 01:02:36,330 --> 01:02:38,080 because you're still going to hear a commercial. 1176 01:02:38,370 --> 01:02:40,330 Unless, of course, you decide to go to the kitchen 1177 01:02:40,630 --> 01:02:43,300 for a sandwich or a, you know, bottle of beer. 1178 01:02:44,670 --> 01:02:46,800 I'm going to tell you about another Happy product. 1179 01:02:48,930 --> 01:02:50,680 Happy Detergent. 1180 01:02:52,350 --> 01:02:55,480 Now, its label makes many claims. 1181 01:02:55,770 --> 01:02:57,890 It says it's good for dishes, 1182 01:02:58,190 --> 01:03:00,980 clothes, woodwork, 1183 01:03:02,770 --> 01:03:05,860 and even the tile around your swimming pool. 1184 01:03:06,150 --> 01:03:07,740 Of course, I wouldn't know about that 1185 01:03:08,030 --> 01:03:09,990 because, you see, I don't have a pool, 1186 01:03:10,280 --> 01:03:12,620 and I'm certainly not about to put one in 1187 01:03:12,910 --> 01:03:15,330 just to, um, test this. 1188 01:03:16,870 --> 01:03:18,410 But I do know this, 1189 01:03:18,710 --> 01:03:21,250 that the Happy people make a fine product, 1190 01:03:21,540 --> 01:03:23,040 and they wouldn't lie. 1191 01:03:24,460 --> 01:03:25,420 Bye. 1192 01:03:25,710 --> 01:03:28,090 Good girl! Turn her off! Turn her off! 1193 01:03:42,520 --> 01:03:44,360 Is that you, Palmer? 1194 01:03:44,650 --> 01:03:46,030 Get her a swimming pool. 1195 01:03:46,320 --> 01:03:48,070 Damn the cost. 1196 01:03:48,360 --> 01:03:52,320 I want it in her backyard in time for the next commercial. 1197 01:03:52,620 --> 01:03:56,830 You don't have to get permission. I want it to be a surprise. 1198 01:03:57,120 --> 01:03:59,910 Now get over there and start diggin'. 1199 01:04:00,210 --> 01:04:02,500 I want it in by tomorrow night. 1200 01:04:02,790 --> 01:04:03,750 Give me a nut. 1201 01:04:16,180 --> 01:04:18,850 Good morning. I think you wait for missus. 1202 01:04:19,140 --> 01:04:20,770 She come soon. 1203 01:04:21,060 --> 01:04:23,310 Ah-ah! (SPEAKS GERMAN) 1204 01:04:23,600 --> 01:04:26,480 She don't tell me she order hole. 1205 01:04:26,770 --> 01:04:28,860 Oh, well, now, don't worry, Mrs. Goethe. 1206 01:04:29,150 --> 01:04:30,530 This is a surprise. 1207 01:04:30,820 --> 01:04:32,530 When will Mrs. Boyer be back? 1208 01:04:32,820 --> 01:04:36,490 Ah, she come for lunch, 12:00, and then you see. 1209 01:04:36,780 --> 01:04:37,700 Ah! 1210 01:04:48,800 --> 01:04:50,590 Mom, could we play golf till lunch is ready? 1211 01:04:50,880 --> 01:04:52,340 Yes, darling, you can play in the backyard. 1212 01:04:52,630 --> 01:04:55,470 Hooray! Hooray! Come on, Maggie. You be the caddie. 1213 01:04:55,760 --> 01:04:58,180 Don't chop up the lawn like Daddy. 1214 01:05:04,310 --> 01:05:06,480 (MEN CHATTERING) 1215 01:05:14,910 --> 01:05:17,240 (SPEAKING GERMAN) 1216 01:05:19,490 --> 01:05:22,160 Mrs. Goethe. Mrs. Goethe, you're speaking in German again, dear. 1217 01:05:22,460 --> 01:05:24,790 I don't know what you're saying. KIDS: Mommy! Mommy! 1218 01:05:25,080 --> 01:05:26,710 Darling, please go out and play in the yard. 1219 01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:29,050 Please. Mrs... There's no backyard. 1220 01:05:29,340 --> 01:05:30,500 They took it away. 1221 01:05:30,800 --> 01:05:32,550 Andrew, now, really... Honest, Mommy. Come and look. 1222 01:05:32,840 --> 01:05:34,550 All right. Go! 1223 01:05:34,840 --> 01:05:36,680 I guess we have to play games. 1224 01:05:42,100 --> 01:05:43,890 Who did that? I didn't, Mommy. 1225 01:05:44,190 --> 01:05:45,900 I didn't even swing my club once. 1226 01:05:46,190 --> 01:05:47,270 No, he didn't do it, Mommy. 1227 01:05:47,560 --> 01:05:48,560 But who did that? 1228 01:05:48,860 --> 01:05:49,730 Maybe Daddy did. 1229 01:05:50,020 --> 01:05:51,360 Compliments of Happy Detergent. 1230 01:05:51,650 --> 01:05:53,360 One filtered swimming pool. 1231 01:05:56,360 --> 01:05:58,070 What? 1232 01:05:58,370 --> 01:05:59,700 A swimming pool? 1233 01:05:59,990 --> 01:06:02,910 For your children to swim in and for you to do commercials. 1234 01:06:03,200 --> 01:06:06,290 Oh, but this is ridiculous. 1235 01:06:06,580 --> 01:06:07,960 Does my husband know about this? 1236 01:06:08,250 --> 01:06:10,250 Why, no. We thought you'd like to surprise him with it. 1237 01:06:10,540 --> 01:06:11,800 Oh! Surprise him! 1238 01:06:12,090 --> 01:06:13,340 Well, don't tell me he would object 1239 01:06:13,630 --> 01:06:15,170 to someone giving you a free swimming pool. 1240 01:06:15,470 --> 01:06:17,090 Oh, Mike, ever since that night at the restaurant, 1241 01:06:17,390 --> 01:06:18,590 he objects to everything I get... 1242 01:06:18,890 --> 01:06:21,390 Money, compliments, pools. 1243 01:06:22,060 --> 01:06:23,770 Pools? 1244 01:06:24,060 --> 01:06:26,560 Oh, Mike! 1245 01:06:26,850 --> 01:06:28,980 All right, now, Stanley, we want a real high pyramid. 1246 01:06:29,270 --> 01:06:31,270 Make a real... High up as you can get it. 1247 01:06:31,570 --> 01:06:32,690 All right. Straight line. 1248 01:06:32,980 --> 01:06:35,570 Right... Right along here. Use all these boxes. 1249 01:07:19,030 --> 01:07:23,830 EVELYN:There's nothing more fulfilling in life than having a baby. 1250 01:07:45,350 --> 01:07:46,680 Hi. 1251 01:07:47,220 --> 01:07:48,600 Hi. 1252 01:07:50,560 --> 01:07:52,190 Sweetheart, 1253 01:07:52,480 --> 01:07:55,230 I'd like to apologize for my behavior. 1254 01:07:56,690 --> 01:07:59,860 These last few weeks, I've been, well, 1255 01:08:00,150 --> 01:08:02,030 less than a loving husband. 1256 01:08:05,700 --> 01:08:09,910 Oh, darling, I haven't given you much of a chance to be, 1257 01:08:11,370 --> 01:08:13,330 ever since that night at the restaurant. 1258 01:08:13,630 --> 01:08:15,710 I know. I'm sorry. 1259 01:08:16,000 --> 01:08:18,630 I would like to make it up to you. 1260 01:08:20,550 --> 01:08:21,470 When? 1261 01:08:22,090 --> 01:08:24,600 Well... 1262 01:08:24,890 --> 01:08:26,850 Do you have any plans for tonight? 1263 01:08:28,060 --> 01:08:29,390 No. 1264 01:08:29,680 --> 01:08:31,890 I was just waiting for a call from my husband. 1265 01:08:36,110 --> 01:08:37,940 (WATER RUSHING) 1266 01:08:41,700 --> 01:08:42,740 What was that? 1267 01:08:43,030 --> 01:08:44,200 Mmm. 1268 01:08:50,370 --> 01:08:51,750 Sounds like rain. 1269 01:08:52,370 --> 01:08:53,710 Mmm-hmm. 1270 01:08:55,540 --> 01:08:58,250 I left the top down on the convertible. 1271 01:09:01,760 --> 01:09:05,140 I guess I'm gonna have to put it in the garage. 1272 01:09:05,970 --> 01:09:07,430 Mmm. 1273 01:09:09,640 --> 01:09:12,060 Hey. Hmm? 1274 01:09:12,350 --> 01:09:13,810 Don't you run off. 1275 01:09:31,790 --> 01:09:33,000 (CAR DOOR CLOSES) 1276 01:09:34,330 --> 01:09:36,080 The pool! 1277 01:09:36,380 --> 01:09:37,710 Gerald! 1278 01:09:42,010 --> 01:09:43,510 Gerry! 1279 01:09:43,800 --> 01:09:45,130 What? 1280 01:09:45,430 --> 01:09:48,010 l... Gerry, I forgot to tell you we have a pool! 1281 01:09:49,680 --> 01:09:50,640 Oh! 1282 01:09:54,190 --> 01:09:55,140 Oh! 1283 01:10:01,610 --> 01:10:02,530 Oh! 1284 01:10:12,200 --> 01:10:13,120 Oh! 1285 01:10:19,210 --> 01:10:20,710 Gerald, I'm coming. 1286 01:10:21,000 --> 01:10:22,880 Darling, I'm coming. 1287 01:10:23,170 --> 01:10:26,340 Oh! Oh, darling, you're dripping wet. 1288 01:10:26,630 --> 01:10:28,300 Where did the pool come from? Oh, oh, oh. 1289 01:10:28,590 --> 01:10:31,220 Why, darling, you must be chilled to the bone. It's a heated pool. 1290 01:10:31,510 --> 01:10:32,470 (SHOUTS) How did it get here? 1291 01:10:32,770 --> 01:10:33,770 Please don't shout. 1292 01:10:34,060 --> 01:10:36,560 I have to shout to be heard over that bilge pump. 1293 01:10:36,850 --> 01:10:38,690 It's a filter, darling. I know what it is. 1294 01:10:38,980 --> 01:10:40,900 I wanna know how it got in my backyard. 1295 01:10:41,190 --> 01:10:42,570 Please be quiet and I'll tell you. 1296 01:10:42,860 --> 01:10:44,190 Why do you have to get so excited, darling? 1297 01:10:44,490 --> 01:10:45,400 Excited? 1298 01:10:45,690 --> 01:10:49,370 I just drove my car into a swimming pool. 1299 01:10:49,660 --> 01:10:52,660 Gerald. Oh, Gerald, you always said you wanted a pool. 1300 01:10:52,950 --> 01:10:54,870 Yes, but don't you think I should be consulted 1301 01:10:55,160 --> 01:10:57,460 before you spent $5,000 of our money? 1302 01:10:57,750 --> 01:10:59,880 Oh, so that's what it is. 1303 01:11:00,170 --> 01:11:03,000 Darling, I didn't spend one cent of our money. 1304 01:11:03,300 --> 01:11:06,050 Oh, I see. It's come to that. 1305 01:11:06,340 --> 01:11:07,760 Come to what? Oh! 1306 01:11:08,050 --> 01:11:09,640 Our money and your money. 1307 01:11:09,930 --> 01:11:12,930 Well, let me tell you. This is still our house 1308 01:11:13,220 --> 01:11:15,390 and our backyard and our children. 1309 01:11:15,680 --> 01:11:19,400 And when we build a swimming pool, it will be built with our money. 1310 01:11:19,690 --> 01:11:21,440 And what is our money? 1311 01:11:21,730 --> 01:11:24,650 Our money is what I earn by being a doctor. 1312 01:11:24,940 --> 01:11:27,740 Oh, and what I earn is not ours? 1313 01:11:28,030 --> 01:11:28,990 It's yours! 1314 01:11:29,280 --> 01:11:30,740 Ooh! 1315 01:11:31,030 --> 01:11:32,700 You mean that I'm not allowed to participate in this household? 1316 01:11:32,990 --> 01:11:35,870 What's mine is mine, and what's yours is ours? 1317 01:11:36,160 --> 01:11:37,290 If you like. 1318 01:11:37,580 --> 01:11:39,370 Well, I don't like. 1319 01:11:39,670 --> 01:11:41,750 Whatever happened to my rights as a woman? 1320 01:11:42,040 --> 01:11:43,420 I'll tell you what happened to them. 1321 01:11:43,710 --> 01:11:47,090 They grew and they grew until they suffocated my rights as a man. 1322 01:11:47,380 --> 01:11:49,050 Whoever said all men are created equal 1323 01:11:49,340 --> 01:11:51,640 didn't anticipate a woman making $100,000 a year 1324 01:11:51,930 --> 01:11:53,010 and spending it on swimming pools. 1325 01:11:53,300 --> 01:11:55,640 I did not spend it on swimming pools! 1326 01:11:55,930 --> 01:11:57,560 And you're gonna wake the children. Good. 1327 01:11:57,850 --> 01:12:00,520 It'll give 'em a chance to get reacquainted with their mother. 1328 01:12:00,810 --> 01:12:04,110 By the way, how many minutes did they see you today? 1329 01:12:04,400 --> 01:12:08,030 Oh, many more minutes than they've seen you, Dr. Boyer. 1330 01:12:08,320 --> 01:12:12,660 Oh, I've got to hand it to you, Beverly. Now you have finally done it. 1331 01:12:12,950 --> 01:12:14,330 Done what? 1332 01:12:14,620 --> 01:12:17,410 You have finally succeeded in equating the delivery of a baby 1333 01:12:17,700 --> 01:12:19,160 with the delivery of a commercial. 1334 01:12:19,460 --> 01:12:20,750 Oh! 1335 01:12:23,960 --> 01:12:24,960 What are you doing? 1336 01:12:25,250 --> 01:12:27,800 I am filling this suitcase with my clothes. 1337 01:12:28,090 --> 01:12:29,380 Oh, really? Well, I'll help you. 1338 01:12:29,670 --> 01:12:31,180 And I'm gonna continue to do it 1339 01:12:31,470 --> 01:12:35,010 until you give up this asinine career and go back to being a wife. 1340 01:12:35,300 --> 01:12:36,930 Go back to being a wife? Yes. 1341 01:12:37,220 --> 01:12:38,850 That's mine. Give me that. 1342 01:12:39,140 --> 01:12:41,440 I'm the kind of a husband who likes to see his wife, 1343 01:12:41,730 --> 01:12:44,310 and not staring at him from a billboard 1344 01:12:44,610 --> 01:12:47,480 or looking up at him from a magazine ad. 1345 01:12:47,780 --> 01:12:51,280 I wanna see her, and I wanna see her in person, and often. 1346 01:12:51,570 --> 01:12:52,650 Are you giving me an ultimatum? 1347 01:12:52,950 --> 01:12:53,990 Yes, damn it! 1348 01:12:54,280 --> 01:12:55,490 Well, that just... 1349 01:12:55,780 --> 01:12:58,120 You can see me on page 41! 1350 01:13:05,830 --> 01:13:07,000 You might need this. 1351 01:13:07,290 --> 01:13:08,880 You can reach me at the office 1352 01:13:09,170 --> 01:13:10,710 if you get tired of kissing soap. 1353 01:13:20,890 --> 01:13:21,980 (SCREAMING) 1354 01:13:36,530 --> 01:13:38,280 (GROANING) 1355 01:13:38,580 --> 01:13:40,040 (GRUNTING) 1356 01:13:56,970 --> 01:13:59,390 (FILTER SUCKING) 1357 01:14:11,150 --> 01:14:13,030 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 1358 01:14:52,820 --> 01:14:53,980 You ask her. 1359 01:14:54,280 --> 01:14:55,440 But her eyes are closed, 1360 01:14:55,740 --> 01:14:58,450 and Mommy said never to wake her if her eyes are closed. 1361 01:14:58,740 --> 01:15:00,370 They're not closed tight. Look. 1362 01:15:01,070 --> 01:15:03,160 They look tight. 1363 01:15:03,450 --> 01:15:05,620 ANDY: There's a little slit in this one. See? 1364 01:15:06,660 --> 01:15:08,620 I don't see no slit. 1365 01:15:08,920 --> 01:15:10,420 Right there. 1366 01:15:10,710 --> 01:15:13,590 Oh, now I see it. It's a big slit. 1367 01:15:16,840 --> 01:15:18,680 (GROANS) 1368 01:15:18,970 --> 01:15:20,890 Good morning. BOTH: Good morning, Mommy. 1369 01:15:21,180 --> 01:15:22,680 Are you awake? 1370 01:15:22,970 --> 01:15:23,810 What is it? 1371 01:15:24,100 --> 01:15:25,930 Could we go out and play in the snow? 1372 01:15:26,230 --> 01:15:28,600 Do we have to put our snowsuits on, Mommy? 1373 01:15:28,890 --> 01:15:29,980 Mmm-hmm. 1374 01:15:30,270 --> 01:15:32,560 Will you go help us build a showman? 1375 01:15:32,860 --> 01:15:34,230 Hmm? What? 1376 01:15:34,530 --> 01:15:35,940 A snowman. 1377 01:15:38,530 --> 01:15:40,110 Andrew. 1378 01:15:41,240 --> 01:15:42,530 There's no snow, sweetheart. 1379 01:15:42,820 --> 01:15:44,950 Yes, there is. Out in the backyard. 1380 01:15:45,240 --> 01:15:47,160 It didn't snow in the front. Mmm-mmm. 1381 01:15:47,450 --> 01:15:49,960 Honest, Mommy. Honest, Mommy. Come and look. 1382 01:15:50,250 --> 01:15:51,960 Oh, I'm so tired. 1383 01:15:52,880 --> 01:15:55,670 Oh! Oh! 1384 01:15:55,960 --> 01:15:59,340 Do I have to do this? Huh? 1385 01:15:59,630 --> 01:16:02,470 What is out here now? What are you showing me? 1386 01:16:07,180 --> 01:16:10,020 What? What is... What is this? 1387 01:16:10,310 --> 01:16:11,600 It's slippery. 1388 01:16:11,900 --> 01:16:13,980 Oh! (SCREAMS) 1389 01:16:14,270 --> 01:16:16,860 What is this? Oh! 1390 01:16:17,150 --> 01:16:18,990 Where are you? Come out of here. 1391 01:16:19,280 --> 01:16:20,650 (SPEAKING GERMAN) 1392 01:16:23,320 --> 01:16:25,120 (SHRIEKS) 1393 01:16:28,080 --> 01:16:30,460 (COUGHING) 1394 01:16:32,040 --> 01:16:32,920 Ah! 1395 01:16:33,210 --> 01:16:35,040 Come on. It's... Oh! 1396 01:16:35,340 --> 01:16:36,460 Come on here. 1397 01:16:36,750 --> 01:16:38,920 (EXCLAIMING IN GERMAN) 1398 01:16:39,210 --> 01:16:41,550 Ah! (EXCLAIMING IN GERMAN) 1399 01:16:43,510 --> 01:16:45,550 (KIDS LAUGHING) 1400 01:16:47,390 --> 01:16:48,600 (MRS. GOETHE SHOUTING IN GERMAN) 1401 01:16:57,110 --> 01:16:58,690 BEVERLY: What are we going to do? 1402 01:17:02,110 --> 01:17:03,410 BEVERLY: Coming! 1403 01:17:06,030 --> 01:17:07,580 Oh. Hello. Hi ya. 1404 01:17:07,870 --> 01:17:09,370 Are you the lady that called about the stuff? 1405 01:17:09,660 --> 01:17:12,080 Yes. It's in the backyard, right around there. 1406 01:17:12,370 --> 01:17:14,500 I know it's none of my business, lady, 1407 01:17:14,790 --> 01:17:17,630 but how did you happen to get three truckloads of potatoes in your backyard? 1408 01:17:18,460 --> 01:17:19,500 Potatoes? 1409 01:17:19,800 --> 01:17:21,880 Yeah. It says so right here. "Pick up spuds." 1410 01:17:22,170 --> 01:17:23,430 Oh, no, that's a mistake. 1411 01:17:23,720 --> 01:17:25,390 Well, I figured it was. 1412 01:17:25,680 --> 01:17:28,310 What kind of a nut would have three truckloads of spuds in their backyard? 1413 01:17:28,600 --> 01:17:30,180 No, it's "suds". 1414 01:17:31,140 --> 01:17:32,230 Suds? 1415 01:17:32,520 --> 01:17:33,480 Suds. 1416 01:17:38,980 --> 01:17:41,230 MAN 1: It's beautiful! 1417 01:17:41,530 --> 01:17:43,450 MAN 2: Yeah, it's... It's like heaven. 1418 01:17:43,740 --> 01:17:45,950 MAN 3: That's the closest to heaven you'll ever get. 1419 01:17:46,240 --> 01:17:48,410 MAN 4: It's almost a shame to bust the thing up. 1420 01:17:48,700 --> 01:17:52,080 Look at the different shapes. That has an angel with wings. 1421 01:17:54,670 --> 01:17:57,420 Hey, yeah. That looks like one of Santy's reindeers. 1422 01:17:59,840 --> 01:18:01,210 Hey, there's a naked lady. 1423 01:18:01,510 --> 01:18:02,800 OTHERS: Where? 1424 01:18:03,090 --> 01:18:04,970 MAN 2: Ah, the wind ruined it. Blew the best parts away. 1425 01:18:05,260 --> 01:18:06,510 Aw! 1426 01:18:06,800 --> 01:18:10,010 Look, guys, you two take the angel with the wings. 1427 01:18:10,310 --> 01:18:13,020 You two take that reindeer. 1428 01:18:13,310 --> 01:18:14,230 I'll take the naked lady. 1429 01:18:14,520 --> 01:18:15,770 Aw! 1430 01:18:17,600 --> 01:18:19,980 Be careful of this stuff. 1431 01:18:20,270 --> 01:18:21,980 I love this kind of work. 1432 01:18:22,280 --> 01:18:24,240 This is the best-smelling garbage I ever handled. 1433 01:18:24,530 --> 01:18:26,860 Hey, I lost the lady's head. Wait a minute. Here it is. 1434 01:18:27,160 --> 01:18:29,070 How do you keep this on the shovel? 1435 01:18:29,370 --> 01:18:30,830 Watch it. 1436 01:18:31,120 --> 01:18:33,500 Oh, pardon me. Do you know if they're sending the crane over? 1437 01:18:33,790 --> 01:18:36,250 A crane? Lady, you've gotta be kidding. This stuff ain't that heavy. 1438 01:18:36,540 --> 01:18:39,380 Oh, not for this. There's a car at the bottom of the pool. 1439 01:18:40,210 --> 01:18:41,500 A car? Yes. 1440 01:18:41,800 --> 01:18:45,010 You mean... Like an automobile? Exactly. 1441 01:18:45,300 --> 01:18:47,430 Lady, how the heck did you ever man... I can't go into it now, 1442 01:18:47,720 --> 01:18:49,010 but it's down there, believe me. 1443 01:18:49,300 --> 01:18:50,600 Hey, guys. 1444 01:18:50,890 --> 01:18:52,680 The lady says there's a car at the bottom of the pool. 1445 01:18:52,970 --> 01:18:55,680 No foolin'? A regular car? A regular car. 1446 01:18:55,980 --> 01:18:57,640 Hey, how about that? What kind of car is it? 1447 01:18:57,940 --> 01:19:00,860 A convertible. And you can't miss it. It's the only one down there. 1448 01:19:28,680 --> 01:19:32,720 She probably overloaded her washing machine. 1449 01:19:33,010 --> 01:19:34,180 They tell you not to, 1450 01:19:34,470 --> 01:19:36,930 but some people just don't read the boxes. 1451 01:19:37,230 --> 01:19:38,310 Mmm-hmm. 1452 01:19:38,850 --> 01:19:41,900 (CHATTERING) 1453 01:19:42,190 --> 01:19:45,400 All right, now, stand back, folks. We're gonna haul'er up. 1454 01:19:45,690 --> 01:19:47,440 Okay, Charlie, take'er up. 1455 01:19:56,910 --> 01:19:59,500 (APPLAUSE) 1456 01:20:08,130 --> 01:20:10,300 Oh, good morning, Dr. Ehrlich. 1457 01:20:11,930 --> 01:20:14,640 Mmm-hmm. 1458 01:20:14,930 --> 01:20:18,060 Oh, I... I just spent the night in a hotel. 1459 01:20:20,600 --> 01:20:22,270 Mmm-hmm! 1460 01:20:30,360 --> 01:20:31,950 Miss Thompson. 1461 01:20:32,240 --> 01:20:33,740 Miss Thompson! 1462 01:20:41,160 --> 01:20:42,120 EHRLICH: Yes, Doctor? 1463 01:20:42,420 --> 01:20:44,130 I wonder if I could borrow a match, Doctor. 1464 01:20:44,420 --> 01:20:45,540 Oh, certainly. 1465 01:20:45,840 --> 01:20:46,920 Thank you. 1466 01:20:51,170 --> 01:20:52,880 Oh, I'm sorry. Your matches. 1467 01:20:55,180 --> 01:20:59,100 Hmm. I had matches in my pocket all the time. What do you think of that? 1468 01:20:59,390 --> 01:21:00,810 What do you think of it? 1469 01:21:01,100 --> 01:21:03,940 What do I think of it? (CHUCKLES) 1470 01:21:04,230 --> 01:21:06,610 You mean what's the hidden psychiatric meaning 1471 01:21:06,900 --> 01:21:11,320 behind my borrowing a match when I already had matches? 1472 01:21:11,610 --> 01:21:14,280 Well, I'd call it absentmindedness. 1473 01:21:14,570 --> 01:21:16,160 I'm sure that you would diagnose it 1474 01:21:16,450 --> 01:21:19,330 as a... A convenient subconscious attempt 1475 01:21:19,620 --> 01:21:22,460 for me to come in here and chat with you. (LAUGHING) 1476 01:21:24,370 --> 01:21:25,630 Do you have a minute, Doctor? 1477 01:21:27,380 --> 01:21:28,630 Mmm-hmm. 1478 01:21:43,770 --> 01:21:46,100 MRS. GOETHE: Hallo. It's only me, Mrs. G. 1479 01:21:48,150 --> 01:21:49,400 Oh! 1480 01:22:44,040 --> 01:22:45,080 Hi. 1481 01:22:46,460 --> 01:22:47,670 Am I welcome? 1482 01:22:50,420 --> 01:22:52,250 Welcome home, darling! 1483 01:22:52,550 --> 01:22:54,090 Forgive me? 1484 01:22:54,380 --> 01:22:57,010 Oh. Forgive you? Mmm-hmm. 1485 01:22:57,300 --> 01:22:59,050 For acting like a Victorian fool. 1486 01:22:59,340 --> 01:23:02,310 For refusing to accept the fact that you have a career. 1487 01:23:02,600 --> 01:23:04,600 Oh, darling, do you mean that? 1488 01:23:04,890 --> 01:23:05,850 Of course I do. 1489 01:23:06,140 --> 01:23:07,310 Oh! 1490 01:23:07,600 --> 01:23:10,980 Naturally, I'll have to readjust my life a bit. 1491 01:23:12,400 --> 01:23:14,610 You'd readjust your life for me? 1492 01:23:14,900 --> 01:23:16,700 You're my wife, aren't you? 1493 01:23:16,990 --> 01:23:20,280 Oh, yes, darling, I am. Mmm. 1494 01:23:20,570 --> 01:23:22,780 Sweetheart, I've got to get back to the office. Mmm-mmm. 1495 01:23:23,080 --> 01:23:25,040 Honey, I've got patients waiting. I don't want you to go. 1496 01:23:25,330 --> 01:23:26,620 I must. 1497 01:23:26,910 --> 01:23:28,250 Well, would you come home early? 1498 01:23:28,540 --> 01:23:30,330 I'll bake you something special. 1499 01:23:30,630 --> 01:23:32,130 With r-r-rum. 1500 01:23:32,420 --> 01:23:33,880 R-r-rum? 1501 01:23:35,590 --> 01:23:38,680 Oh, not tonight, honey. I forgot. I'm sorry. 1502 01:23:38,970 --> 01:23:40,840 I've been invited to this bachelor party. 1503 01:23:41,140 --> 01:23:42,970 One of the residents at the hospital is getting married. 1504 01:23:43,260 --> 01:23:44,350 Darling, do you have to go? 1505 01:23:44,640 --> 01:23:46,560 Honey, I have to. It's a bore... 1506 01:23:46,850 --> 01:23:49,640 Sweetheart, you don't need a tuxedo for a bachelor... It's a formal bachelor party. 1507 01:23:49,940 --> 01:23:53,650 So long, sweetheart. You'd better not wait up for me. 1508 01:23:53,940 --> 01:23:55,190 (SIGHS) Bye. 1509 01:23:55,480 --> 01:23:56,610 Okay. 1510 01:24:00,860 --> 01:24:02,530 (FRONT DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES) 1511 01:24:17,460 --> 01:24:18,880 GERALD: Here. 1512 01:24:26,310 --> 01:24:28,180 And away we go. (LAUGHS) 1513 01:24:33,610 --> 01:24:35,480 Where did Herr Doctor go? 1514 01:24:35,770 --> 01:24:36,980 To readjust his life. 1515 01:24:37,280 --> 01:24:40,280 Ah! So? Good. 1516 01:24:40,570 --> 01:24:43,160 Would you care for a picture, sir? No? 1517 01:24:44,570 --> 01:24:46,030 Oh, young lady. 1518 01:24:46,330 --> 01:24:48,500 Oh, would you care for a picture, sir? Yes, please. 1519 01:24:48,790 --> 01:24:50,370 Okay. 1520 01:24:50,660 --> 01:24:52,710 Ready? Shoot. 1521 01:24:53,000 --> 01:24:53,880 Thank you. Thank you. 1522 01:24:54,170 --> 01:24:55,500 Thank you, Miss Thompson. 1523 01:25:06,260 --> 01:25:08,720 Oh! Good morning, dear. 1524 01:25:09,020 --> 01:25:11,430 Do I have time for a shower before breakfast? 1525 01:25:11,730 --> 01:25:13,270 Yes, you do, dear. 1526 01:25:13,560 --> 01:25:18,190 ♪ You're a sweetheart if there ever was one 1527 01:25:18,480 --> 01:25:21,570 ♪ If there ever was one, it's you 1528 01:25:21,860 --> 01:25:23,360 ♪ You're a sweetheart (WATER RUNNING) 1529 01:25:24,740 --> 01:25:26,950 ♪ If there ever was one 1530 01:25:28,450 --> 01:25:32,000 ♪ If there ever was one, it's you 1531 01:25:32,910 --> 01:25:34,370 (HUMMING) 1532 01:25:46,140 --> 01:25:48,180 ♪ You're a sweetheart (WATER STOPS RUNNING) 1533 01:25:48,470 --> 01:25:52,230 Honey, sweetheart, I'm surprised at you. [... 1... 1534 01:25:52,520 --> 01:25:55,730 Letting me go into the shower without my underwear. 1535 01:25:57,310 --> 01:26:00,110 ♪ You're a sweetheart 1536 01:26:00,400 --> 01:26:03,400 ♪ If there ever was one ♪ 1537 01:26:03,700 --> 01:26:06,280 Well, was the bachelor party fun? 1538 01:26:06,570 --> 01:26:08,320 It was okay. 1539 01:26:08,620 --> 01:26:11,160 Um, were there any wives there? 1540 01:26:11,450 --> 01:26:14,120 Honey, if wives were allowed, wouldn't I have asked you along, huh? 1541 01:26:14,410 --> 01:26:16,040 (CHUCKLES) 1542 01:26:16,710 --> 01:26:17,790 No women? 1543 01:26:18,460 --> 01:26:19,500 Of course not. 1544 01:26:19,790 --> 01:26:23,170 Say, you're not, uh, 1545 01:26:23,460 --> 01:26:24,630 doing any commercials tonight, are you? 1546 01:26:25,260 --> 01:26:26,630 No. 1547 01:26:26,930 --> 01:26:28,340 I'm free tonight. 1548 01:26:28,640 --> 01:26:30,600 Hmm. That is a shame. 1549 01:26:30,890 --> 01:26:33,100 The one night you're free and I've got to give a lecture. 1550 01:26:34,640 --> 01:26:36,770 So long, sweetheart. I'll call you later. 1551 01:26:38,350 --> 01:26:39,690 When will you be home, dear? 1552 01:26:39,980 --> 01:26:41,400 Well, I... I'm not sure. 1553 01:26:41,690 --> 01:26:43,150 But don't wait up for me. 1554 01:26:45,780 --> 01:26:46,950 (DOOR CLOSES) 1555 01:26:53,750 --> 01:26:55,540 (HUMMING) 1556 01:27:27,320 --> 01:27:28,660 Oh! 1557 01:28:12,280 --> 01:28:13,410 (GARGLES) 1558 01:28:14,280 --> 01:28:15,790 (GROANS) 1559 01:28:33,800 --> 01:28:34,890 (SIGHS) 1560 01:28:39,430 --> 01:28:41,690 ♪ How dry I am 1561 01:28:42,480 --> 01:28:45,440 ♪ How dry I am 1562 01:28:46,650 --> 01:28:49,900 ♪ Nobody knows 1563 01:28:50,190 --> 01:28:52,740 ♪ How dry I am 1564 01:28:53,780 --> 01:28:56,240 ♪ How dry I am 1565 01:28:58,540 --> 01:29:01,910 ♪ How dry I am 1566 01:29:10,260 --> 01:29:13,970 ♪ How dry I am 1567 01:29:15,010 --> 01:29:18,310 ♪ How dry I am 1568 01:29:20,980 --> 01:29:24,400 JHowdry lam ♪ 1569 01:29:26,020 --> 01:29:28,190 Honey, where are you, honey? 1570 01:29:28,480 --> 01:29:30,320 Oh, yes, darling. I'm right here. 1571 01:29:30,610 --> 01:29:33,320 I want you, honey. 1572 01:29:33,610 --> 01:29:36,120 What is it, darling? Oh, you know something? 1573 01:29:36,410 --> 01:29:37,330 What? 1574 01:29:37,620 --> 01:29:39,830 You're a great woman. 1575 01:29:40,120 --> 01:29:43,040 And I'm a big, fat rat. 1576 01:29:43,330 --> 01:29:44,330 Don't you say that. 1577 01:29:44,620 --> 01:29:47,340 I am. The way I've treated you, I am. 1578 01:29:47,630 --> 01:29:48,960 No, you're not. I am. 1579 01:29:49,250 --> 01:29:52,130 No, you're not. I am! I'm a big, fat rat. 1580 01:29:52,420 --> 01:29:53,670 You're not a big, fat rat. 1581 01:29:53,970 --> 01:29:58,970 You... You're a sweet, wonderful woman. 1582 01:29:59,260 --> 01:30:02,520 And I don't know why it's taken me so long to find out. 1583 01:30:02,810 --> 01:30:06,650 Hush, darling. Don't say any more, please. 1584 01:30:07,560 --> 01:30:09,270 You're the most 1585 01:30:09,570 --> 01:30:12,780 wonderful, understanding woman 1586 01:30:13,070 --> 01:30:15,320 in the whole world, 1587 01:30:16,410 --> 01:30:17,660 Gloria. 1588 01:30:21,120 --> 01:30:22,660 Gloria! 1589 01:30:23,580 --> 01:30:24,750 Ooh! 1590 01:30:26,460 --> 01:30:28,000 Ooh! (DOOR SLAMS) 1591 01:30:40,260 --> 01:30:41,970 (SNIFFLES) 1592 01:30:42,270 --> 01:30:44,020 (SIGHS) 1593 01:30:44,310 --> 01:30:46,810 You've only got a few minutes before you go on. 1594 01:30:47,100 --> 01:30:48,400 You'd better start changing. 1595 01:30:48,690 --> 01:30:50,110 (SNIFFLES) I'm wearing this. 1596 01:30:50,400 --> 01:30:52,320 I'm not talking about your dress. 1597 01:30:52,610 --> 01:30:53,860 I mean your personality. 1598 01:30:56,490 --> 01:30:58,910 I'm sorry, Mike. 1599 01:30:59,200 --> 01:31:02,290 We can't have a nervous, overwrought unhappy housewife 1600 01:31:02,580 --> 01:31:05,290 telling America about Happy Soap. 1601 01:31:05,580 --> 01:31:07,120 Look at you. Your eyes are red. 1602 01:31:07,420 --> 01:31:08,330 You're twisting your hankie. 1603 01:31:08,620 --> 01:31:10,460 You're biting your lip. 1604 01:31:10,750 --> 01:31:13,800 That's no way for a career girl to act. 1605 01:31:14,090 --> 01:31:16,920 I don't think I'm cut out to be a career girl. 1606 01:31:17,220 --> 01:31:18,840 Our sponsors think you are. 1607 01:31:19,140 --> 01:31:20,760 Well, my husband doesn't. 1608 01:31:21,050 --> 01:31:23,600 Your husband's a Victorian. 1609 01:31:23,890 --> 01:31:26,890 My husband is a doctor, and I'm a doctor's wife. 1610 01:31:27,640 --> 01:31:29,100 Or I used to be. 1611 01:31:30,150 --> 01:31:32,480 Used to be? 1612 01:31:32,770 --> 01:31:35,490 Oh, Mike, everything is... (PHONE RINGS) 1613 01:31:35,780 --> 01:31:37,400 Everything is... Oh! 1614 01:31:39,160 --> 01:31:40,450 Hello. 1615 01:31:40,740 --> 01:31:42,700 WOMAN: Mrs. Boyer? Yes. 1616 01:31:42,990 --> 01:31:46,160 Dr. Boyer asked me to call and tell you he'll be held up at the hospital tonight, 1617 01:31:46,450 --> 01:31:48,160 and he won't be able to pick you up at the studio. 1618 01:31:48,460 --> 01:31:51,880 But he will meet you at the Cartier Hotel later if he can. 1619 01:31:53,710 --> 01:31:54,920 Mrs. Boyer, do you understand? 1620 01:31:56,340 --> 01:31:57,880 Yes. 1621 01:31:58,170 --> 01:31:59,720 Yes, I understand. 1622 01:32:04,720 --> 01:32:07,430 Aw, cheer up, honey. We all make mistakes. 1623 01:32:07,730 --> 01:32:09,560 Oh, Mike, I'm so embarrassed. 1624 01:32:10,810 --> 01:32:13,980 How could I forget the name of our soap? 1625 01:32:14,270 --> 01:32:16,530 What did I finally call it? 1626 01:32:16,820 --> 01:32:18,400 Palmolive. Oh. 1627 01:32:19,110 --> 01:32:20,110 Have another drink. 1628 01:32:20,400 --> 01:32:22,990 I just kept thinking about Gerald. 1629 01:32:23,280 --> 01:32:25,620 I know he's at the hospital, but... 1630 01:32:25,910 --> 01:32:27,200 But you're not sure. 1631 01:32:27,500 --> 01:32:29,080 Of course I'm sure. 1632 01:32:29,370 --> 01:32:31,670 Well, by calling the hospital, you can be absolutely sure. 1633 01:32:31,960 --> 01:32:32,920 I'd never do that. 1634 01:32:33,210 --> 01:32:35,670 Why not? Because he might not be there. 1635 01:32:35,960 --> 01:32:38,970 Well, he said, "Yes, but only on Thursdays." 1636 01:32:46,970 --> 01:32:48,180 Gardiner. 1637 01:32:48,470 --> 01:32:49,640 Excuse me. 1638 01:32:49,930 --> 01:32:51,520 Yes, darling. Gardiner. 1639 01:32:51,810 --> 01:32:53,690 Hmm? I'm going to have a baby. 1640 01:32:53,980 --> 01:32:56,520 Yes, darling. I know. 1641 01:32:56,820 --> 01:32:58,400 (CHUCKLES) 1642 01:32:58,690 --> 01:33:00,530 Oh, my God. You... 1643 01:33:00,820 --> 01:33:01,950 Are... Are you sure? 1644 01:33:02,240 --> 01:33:03,360 Quite sure. 1645 01:33:03,660 --> 01:33:05,700 Oh, well, you... 1646 01:33:05,990 --> 01:33:07,200 Just... (MUTTERING) 1647 01:33:10,410 --> 01:33:11,710 Beverly. Beverly. Yes. 1648 01:33:12,000 --> 01:33:13,500 Call your baby. My wife's having a husband. 1649 01:33:13,790 --> 01:33:15,420 Quickly. Quickly. Oh. 1650 01:33:17,800 --> 01:33:20,800 Uh, the Doctor's Hospital, please. Eighty-eighth street. 1651 01:33:21,090 --> 01:33:22,470 Well, now you'll know. 1652 01:33:24,180 --> 01:33:27,180 Is Dr. Boyer there, please? This is an emergency. 1653 01:33:28,100 --> 01:33:30,470 He's not... He's not? 1654 01:33:31,480 --> 01:33:33,060 Well, can you reach him? 1655 01:33:33,350 --> 01:33:35,730 Oh, fine. Tell him that Mrs. Gardiner Fraleigh 1656 01:33:36,020 --> 01:33:38,400 Is on her way to the hospital to deliver. 1657 01:33:38,690 --> 01:33:41,650 Yes. Thank you. Beverly, did you reach Dir... Did you reach Dr. Boyer? 1658 01:33:41,940 --> 01:33:43,030 He'll meet you at the hospital. Fine, fine. 1659 01:33:43,320 --> 01:33:44,740 Would you mind coming with us, Beverly? Oh, yes. 1660 01:33:45,030 --> 01:33:46,320 Of course I'd... In case that... 1661 01:33:46,620 --> 01:33:48,080 I don't know anything about... It's just a matter of... 1662 01:33:48,370 --> 01:33:50,580 Excuse me, please. Excuse me. 1663 01:33:50,870 --> 01:33:53,290 I am not going to have the baby in the car. 1664 01:33:53,580 --> 01:33:55,250 But I would like Beverly to go with me. Would you? 1665 01:33:55,540 --> 01:33:57,080 Oh, you know I will. Oh! 1666 01:33:57,380 --> 01:33:58,590 Are you afraid, darling? 1667 01:33:58,880 --> 01:34:02,170 Only being alone in the car with an expectant father. 1668 01:34:02,470 --> 01:34:03,590 Do... Do you want me to carry you? 1669 01:34:03,880 --> 01:34:05,180 Oh, Gardiner. 1670 01:34:05,470 --> 01:34:07,600 All right, let's go quietly, but hurry. 1671 01:34:07,890 --> 01:34:09,930 Keep moving. Keep moving. Mike, get the car, please. Yes. 1672 01:34:10,220 --> 01:34:13,390 All right, there's nothing to worry about. (GROANS) 1673 01:34:16,060 --> 01:34:17,560 Hmm. 1674 01:34:19,940 --> 01:34:21,400 (MUTTERS) 1675 01:34:23,990 --> 01:34:25,530 All right, Sidney. Where to, sir? 1676 01:34:25,820 --> 01:34:27,570 The hospital, you idiot. 1677 01:34:40,340 --> 01:34:41,670 Dr. Boyer. Oh, hello, Mike. 1678 01:34:41,960 --> 01:34:42,960 Party break up early? 1679 01:34:43,260 --> 01:34:44,420 No. It just moved to the hospital. 1680 01:34:44,720 --> 01:34:45,680 Mrs. Fraleigh? Yeah. 1681 01:34:45,970 --> 01:34:47,800 Can I give you a lift? Yes, please. 1682 01:34:49,850 --> 01:34:53,770 To go to Doctor's Hospital, we go up Third Avenue to 88th, 1683 01:34:54,060 --> 01:34:56,020 turn right and go to the river, huh? 1684 01:35:04,190 --> 01:35:06,150 (HORN HONKS) 1685 01:35:26,260 --> 01:35:29,260 (HORNS HONKING) 1686 01:35:29,550 --> 01:35:31,350 It's all right, Mrs. Fraleigh. You're doing just fine. 1687 01:35:31,640 --> 01:35:34,180 Is there anything I can do? Just get us to the hospital. 1688 01:35:34,470 --> 01:35:37,100 Sidney. Sidney, what's holding us up? 1689 01:35:38,190 --> 01:35:39,520 Traffic, sir. 1690 01:35:39,810 --> 01:35:41,270 Hurry. Oh, dear God. 1691 01:35:47,570 --> 01:35:48,990 Please. 1692 01:35:49,280 --> 01:35:50,700 Damn it, Sidney. Do something. 1693 01:35:50,990 --> 01:35:52,530 l... Uh, blow your horn. 1694 01:35:55,290 --> 01:35:58,040 (HORN HONKS) (HORNS HONKING) 1695 01:35:58,330 --> 01:35:59,370 Oh, dear me. 1696 01:35:59,670 --> 01:36:00,880 Oh, the pain is every five minutes. 1697 01:36:01,170 --> 01:36:02,540 We've just gotta... We've just gotta hurry. 1698 01:36:02,840 --> 01:36:04,380 Hurry, hurry, hurry. 1699 01:36:04,670 --> 01:36:07,880 Sidney. Sidney, I don't care how you do it, 1700 01:36:08,170 --> 01:36:13,470 but I am going to give you exactly five seconds to get this car moving. 1701 01:36:14,850 --> 01:36:16,520 (HORN HONKING) 1702 01:36:16,810 --> 01:36:18,560 MAN 1: Hey! Hey! 1703 01:36:18,850 --> 01:36:21,100 MAN 2: Hey, what are you doing? Get off the sidewalk! 1704 01:36:21,400 --> 01:36:23,560 MAN 3: Hey, you jerk! Get off the sidewalk! 1705 01:36:23,860 --> 01:36:25,020 MAN 4: Hey, Mac, knock it off! 1706 01:36:25,320 --> 01:36:27,190 MAN: You're gonna hit somebody! 1707 01:36:27,490 --> 01:36:29,950 DRUNK MAN: Why don't you look where I'm going? You nut. 1708 01:36:30,240 --> 01:36:31,860 Hey, there's something coming up over here. 1709 01:36:32,160 --> 01:36:33,570 MAN 2: Hey, you're gonna hit somebody! 1710 01:36:33,870 --> 01:36:35,950 MAN 3: Get off the sidewalk! 1711 01:36:37,500 --> 01:36:40,410 Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Mac. 1712 01:36:40,710 --> 01:36:43,580 I know you have a reason for driving on the sidewalk. 1713 01:36:43,880 --> 01:36:46,630 But I warn you, it better be a dandy. 1714 01:36:46,920 --> 01:36:49,760 My wife is having a baby. 1715 01:36:50,050 --> 01:36:51,680 That's dandy enough. Follow us. 1716 01:37:00,310 --> 01:37:01,600 (SIRENS BLARING) 1717 01:37:13,160 --> 01:37:14,700 Lots of luck! 1718 01:37:31,470 --> 01:37:33,050 Good evening, Dr. Boyer. Good evening. 1719 01:37:33,340 --> 01:37:35,010 Was Mrs. Fraleigh admitted? 1720 01:37:35,300 --> 01:37:36,930 Uh, not yet, Doctor. 1721 01:37:37,220 --> 01:37:38,890 Probably held up in traffic. 1722 01:37:42,020 --> 01:37:42,980 Is it much farther? 1723 01:37:43,270 --> 01:37:44,140 Not much. 1724 01:37:44,440 --> 01:37:46,230 (GASPS) 1725 01:37:46,520 --> 01:37:47,770 Oh, dear. What's the matter? 1726 01:37:48,070 --> 01:37:49,780 Four minutes apart. What does that mean? 1727 01:37:50,070 --> 01:37:51,690 Oh, it means I wish my husband were here. 1728 01:37:59,030 --> 01:38:00,540 There's a jam up ahead, sir. 1729 01:38:05,000 --> 01:38:06,790 (HORNS HONKING) 1730 01:38:12,050 --> 01:38:14,090 Sidney, do something. 1731 01:38:14,380 --> 01:38:15,720 Shall I blow my horn, sir? 1732 01:38:16,010 --> 01:38:16,800 Yes, damn it. 1733 01:38:17,090 --> 01:38:18,470 Oh, Gardiner, your language. 1734 01:38:18,760 --> 01:38:21,220 I'm sorry... Oh, darn it! 1735 01:38:21,520 --> 01:38:22,520 She said darn it. 1736 01:38:22,810 --> 01:38:25,850 She has never ever said that. What does it mean? 1737 01:38:26,150 --> 01:38:27,560 It's every three minutes. Oh, my God. 1738 01:38:27,860 --> 01:38:29,520 Beverly, get the phone. Call the hospital. 1739 01:38:29,820 --> 01:38:32,530 The phone is... It's right there. Get it out. 1740 01:38:32,820 --> 01:38:33,940 Just push the button down. 1741 01:38:34,240 --> 01:38:36,160 (HONKING CONTINUES) 1742 01:38:37,240 --> 01:38:38,870 (PHONE BUZZES) 1743 01:38:40,490 --> 01:38:42,370 Yes? They're not here yet. 1744 01:38:42,660 --> 01:38:43,790 It's for you, Doctor. 1745 01:38:44,080 --> 01:38:45,370 It's Dr. Boyer. 1746 01:38:45,660 --> 01:38:47,080 Beverly, where are you? 1747 01:38:47,370 --> 01:38:49,590 On the East River Drive and 58th Street. 1748 01:38:49,880 --> 01:38:50,790 Well, how's Mrs. Fraleigh? 1749 01:38:51,090 --> 01:38:52,340 Every three minutes, Gerald. 1750 01:38:52,630 --> 01:38:54,590 I could get there in about 15 minutes. 1751 01:38:54,880 --> 01:38:56,380 Look, you get back to the car. 1752 01:38:56,680 --> 01:38:57,760 I'm calling from the car. 1753 01:38:58,050 --> 01:38:59,640 Oh, dear God. Please, Mr. Fraleigh. 1754 01:38:59,930 --> 01:39:01,390 Gerald, what should I do? 1755 01:39:01,680 --> 01:39:02,720 Oh, dear, dear God. 1756 01:39:03,020 --> 01:39:04,680 Mr. Fraleigh, I can't hear. 1757 01:39:04,980 --> 01:39:07,140 I'm going to try to get there in time. I think I can. 1758 01:39:07,440 --> 01:39:08,980 Taylor, would you get my bag? 1759 01:39:09,270 --> 01:39:11,730 If I don't, you'll have to take over. 1760 01:39:12,020 --> 01:39:13,530 Is there a bar in the back seat? 1761 01:39:13,820 --> 01:39:15,740 Is there a bar? Yes. It's right there. But why do you need... 1762 01:39:16,030 --> 01:39:18,530 Yes, Gerald, there's a bar. There's whiskey. 1763 01:39:18,820 --> 01:39:20,740 What are you gonna do with that? I'm going to wash my hands. 1764 01:39:21,030 --> 01:39:22,580 Why would you want to wash... Gardiner! 1765 01:39:22,870 --> 01:39:25,040 Mr. Fraleigh, would you please pace up and down the highway? Please. 1766 01:39:25,960 --> 01:39:27,460 Allow me, sir. 1767 01:39:29,420 --> 01:39:31,500 Oh! 1768 01:39:31,790 --> 01:39:36,630 If I don't make it in time, does anyone there have a piece of string or maybe a shoelace? 1769 01:39:36,920 --> 01:39:38,010 Oh, Sidney. Madam. 1770 01:39:38,300 --> 01:39:39,800 Sidney, do you have a shoelace? Shoelace, madam? 1771 01:39:40,090 --> 01:39:41,600 Yes, a shoelace. I'm wearing loafers. 1772 01:39:41,890 --> 01:39:44,180 Oh! Oh, Mr. Fraleigh, do you have a shoelace? 1773 01:39:44,470 --> 01:39:46,270 What do you need a shoelace for? 1774 01:39:46,560 --> 01:39:47,390 Oh, my God, that's barbaric. 1775 01:39:47,690 --> 01:39:49,020 Do you have a shoelace? 1776 01:39:49,310 --> 01:39:50,350 l... 'm wearing gaiters. 1777 01:39:50,650 --> 01:39:52,480 Well, borrow one. 1778 01:39:52,770 --> 01:39:54,650 Borrow a shoelace. 1779 01:39:54,940 --> 01:39:56,400 Shoes. Uh... 1780 01:39:56,690 --> 01:39:58,570 I'll go... I'll go around. 1781 01:40:02,280 --> 01:40:04,620 Uh, pardon me, sir, but are you wearing regular shoes? 1782 01:40:04,910 --> 01:40:05,870 What are you, a nut? 1783 01:40:06,160 --> 01:40:07,290 No, no, no, no. No, you don't understand. 1784 01:40:07,580 --> 01:40:10,330 You see, I'm having a baby and I need a shoelace. 1785 01:40:10,620 --> 01:40:12,330 Get outta here. 1786 01:40:12,630 --> 01:40:13,880 Get out of here. 1787 01:40:14,500 --> 01:40:15,920 Would you... 1788 01:40:16,210 --> 01:40:18,380 No, you wouldn't have a shoelace. 1789 01:40:23,010 --> 01:40:24,970 Would you have... No. 1790 01:40:25,260 --> 01:40:27,520 Shoe... Shoelace. 1791 01:40:27,810 --> 01:40:30,690 Sir, I'll give you $20 for a shoelace. 1792 01:40:30,980 --> 01:40:33,270 Twenty dollars for a shoelace? Forty dollars. 1793 01:40:36,530 --> 01:40:38,440 Here you are. Twenty dollars is enough. 1794 01:40:40,780 --> 01:40:42,910 "Twenty dollars is enough.” 1795 01:40:43,200 --> 01:40:46,160 The man offered 40, but my Irving has to be a big shot. 1796 01:40:46,450 --> 01:40:47,370 (GRUNTS) 1797 01:40:47,660 --> 01:40:49,370 Is there a newspaper in the car? 1798 01:40:49,660 --> 01:40:53,290 Yes, a newspaper. An unused one is relatively germ-free. 1799 01:40:54,040 --> 01:40:55,000 Here it is. Here itis. 1800 01:40:55,290 --> 01:40:56,500 Thank you. Now get me a newspaper. 1801 01:40:56,800 --> 01:40:58,960 A newspaper? You've got no time to read. For the baby. 1802 01:40:59,260 --> 01:41:03,090 Please, Mr. Fraleigh, don't ask questions. Just get it. An unused one. 1803 01:41:04,970 --> 01:41:07,100 Gerald, please hurry. 1804 01:41:07,390 --> 01:41:10,020 Honey, Dr. Taylor is gonna stay on this phone in case you need instructions. 1805 01:41:10,310 --> 01:41:12,390 I'm on my way. Here, Taylor. And stay awake. 1806 01:41:12,690 --> 01:41:15,610 Come on, Mike. Let's see if that car of yours can outrace a stork. 1807 01:41:16,570 --> 01:41:17,610 Excuse me, sir. 1808 01:41:17,900 --> 01:41:19,320 You can't have my shoelaces. Get outta here. 1809 01:41:19,610 --> 01:41:21,360 No, no, no. I don't want your shoelaces. 1810 01:41:21,650 --> 01:41:23,820 I need a newspaper... For my baby. 1811 01:41:26,240 --> 01:41:28,870 I hope the baby don't object. It ain't the Times. 1812 01:41:29,160 --> 01:41:30,790 Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. 1813 01:41:31,080 --> 01:41:31,910 Did you read this? 1814 01:41:32,210 --> 01:41:33,040 Yeah. You can keep it. 1815 01:41:33,330 --> 01:41:35,170 I don't want it if you read it! 1816 01:41:36,420 --> 01:41:37,800 Get outta here! 1817 01:41:43,090 --> 01:41:44,510 Ooh! 1818 01:41:50,430 --> 01:41:53,230 Pardon me, sir. Could I have that newspaper you have in the backseat? 1819 01:41:53,520 --> 01:41:54,900 I'm sorry. I haven't read it yet. 1820 01:41:55,190 --> 01:41:58,570 Wonderful. I'll give you $10 for it. 1821 01:41:58,860 --> 01:42:00,650 Ten dollars for a newspaper? 1822 01:42:01,940 --> 01:42:03,110 Uh, how much? 1823 01:42:03,400 --> 01:42:04,700 Uh... Uh, 20. 1824 01:42:05,610 --> 01:42:06,990 Thank you. Call again. 1825 01:42:09,450 --> 01:42:11,790 Twenty dollars isn't enough for a newspaper? 1826 01:42:12,080 --> 01:42:14,080 Some businessman. 1827 01:42:14,370 --> 01:42:15,500 In a seller's market like this, 1828 01:42:15,790 --> 01:42:17,250 you could've got 100. 1829 01:42:17,960 --> 01:42:19,630 (SIGHS) 1830 01:42:19,920 --> 01:42:21,170 Here's the newspaper. Thank you. 1831 01:42:21,460 --> 01:42:22,760 Where's Dr. Boyer? Why isn't he here? 1832 01:42:23,050 --> 01:42:23,840 He'll be here soon. 1833 01:42:24,130 --> 01:42:26,510 Oh, relax, Gardiner. 1834 01:42:26,800 --> 01:42:28,390 Babies are born every day. 1835 01:42:30,350 --> 01:42:31,560 That's true, sir. 1836 01:42:31,850 --> 01:42:35,020 Oh! Why don't you shut up and drive? 1837 01:42:35,940 --> 01:42:38,190 (CHATTERING, MURMURING) 1838 01:42:40,610 --> 01:42:42,070 Are you a doctor? 1839 01:42:42,360 --> 01:42:44,490 Where are the police? 1840 01:42:44,780 --> 01:42:47,700 You see, my wife is... Are you a doctor? 1841 01:42:48,870 --> 01:42:50,490 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1842 01:42:55,500 --> 01:42:58,080 Officer, I've got a maternity case in a Rolls-Royce about three blocks ahead. 1843 01:42:58,380 --> 01:43:00,590 Can you give me a lift? Sure. Hop on, Doc. 1844 01:43:07,890 --> 01:43:09,140 Are you a doctor? 1845 01:43:09,430 --> 01:43:11,810 That did it! (GRUNTING) 1846 01:43:12,970 --> 01:43:15,390 Oh, dear. (SIRENS WAILING) 1847 01:43:15,680 --> 01:43:17,940 Officer! Officer! 1848 01:43:18,230 --> 01:43:20,400 Officer! Office... Oh! 1849 01:43:20,690 --> 01:43:23,320 Look, I... My wife is having a baby. 1850 01:43:23,610 --> 01:43:25,150 Officer. Officer. 1851 01:43:27,700 --> 01:43:29,780 Oh, there... There he is. There's the doctor. 1852 01:43:34,160 --> 01:43:36,460 Doctor? 1853 01:43:36,750 --> 01:43:38,580 There's a very pregnant lady around here somewhere. 1854 01:43:38,870 --> 01:43:40,250 I think she's gonna have a baby. 1855 01:43:40,540 --> 01:43:42,090 Anybody hurt in the accident? Nobody hurt. 1856 01:43:42,380 --> 01:43:44,000 GARDINER: Right here, Doctor. 1857 01:43:44,300 --> 01:43:45,420 Just follow me. Follow me. 1858 01:43:51,850 --> 01:43:53,010 Would you try to keep the people away? 1859 01:43:53,310 --> 01:43:55,350 And clear this lane of traffic. 1860 01:43:55,640 --> 01:43:57,520 All right now. Clear it out. 1861 01:43:57,810 --> 01:43:59,520 Hey, you guys, give me a hand. 1862 01:43:59,810 --> 01:44:01,190 There's a pregnant woman there. 1863 01:44:01,480 --> 01:44:03,610 All right, everybody, gather round here. 1864 01:44:03,900 --> 01:44:05,980 Up! Up! Move it over. 1865 01:44:06,280 --> 01:44:07,690 That's it. Move it over. 1866 01:44:08,740 --> 01:44:10,450 Move this car out. 1867 01:44:10,740 --> 01:44:12,320 Come on. Move this car out. 1868 01:44:12,620 --> 01:44:14,530 All right, all right. Let the car through. 1869 01:44:14,830 --> 01:44:16,410 Move along. 1870 01:44:16,700 --> 01:44:18,540 Hurry, Sidney. 1871 01:44:20,670 --> 01:44:22,630 Sidney, wait a minute. Wait, wait. What about me? 1872 01:44:22,920 --> 01:44:23,920 Hop on. 1873 01:44:26,630 --> 01:44:28,170 All right now. Clear it out. 1874 01:44:32,840 --> 01:44:34,810 (SIRENS BLARING) 1875 01:44:48,780 --> 01:44:50,110 GARDINER: Hurry, hurry, hurry! 1876 01:44:50,400 --> 01:44:51,660 (BABY CRYING) 1877 01:44:52,570 --> 01:44:54,870 Darling. Darling, I... 1878 01:44:59,620 --> 01:45:00,620 Who's that? 1879 01:45:01,620 --> 01:45:03,130 It's your daughter. 1880 01:45:03,420 --> 01:45:05,340 It's my... Daughter. 1881 01:45:06,040 --> 01:45:08,260 My... Oh, darling. 1882 01:45:09,630 --> 01:45:11,340 You are a genius. 1883 01:45:11,630 --> 01:45:13,300 (CHUCKLING) 1884 01:45:13,590 --> 01:45:15,300 GARDINER: And... And you're brilliant. 1885 01:45:15,600 --> 01:45:17,260 You're brilliant. 1886 01:45:17,560 --> 01:45:18,930 That's brilliant. (STAMMERS) That's brilliant. 1887 01:45:19,220 --> 01:45:20,730 That's brilliant, Doctor. 1888 01:45:21,020 --> 01:45:22,270 Dr. Taylor, will you take the baby, please? 1889 01:45:22,560 --> 01:45:24,810 GARDINER: That baby is brilliant! 1890 01:45:25,110 --> 01:45:27,070 Look it. That's our baby. 1891 01:45:27,860 --> 01:45:29,150 Take over. 1892 01:45:48,670 --> 01:45:51,010 Oh, hold me. 1893 01:45:51,840 --> 01:45:53,720 Hold me. 1894 01:45:56,010 --> 01:45:59,100 Oh, darling, I need you so much. 1895 01:45:59,810 --> 01:46:01,350 Do you need me? 1896 01:46:01,640 --> 01:46:04,140 Of course. Very much. 1897 01:46:04,440 --> 01:46:08,860 Darling, you know, when I helped you back there in the car, 1898 01:46:09,150 --> 01:46:12,320 and I held that new life in my arms, 1899 01:46:12,610 --> 01:46:16,280 I knew... I knew what you must feel every single day. 1900 01:46:17,530 --> 01:46:20,040 And I felt so close to you. 1901 01:46:20,950 --> 01:46:22,910 Oh, darling, 1902 01:46:23,210 --> 01:46:24,750 I love you so much. 1903 01:46:26,250 --> 01:46:29,040 And I want to be a doctor's wife again. 1904 01:46:29,340 --> 01:46:32,380 Do you think you'll be happy being just a doctor's wife? 1905 01:46:32,670 --> 01:46:34,130 Oh, yes. 1906 01:46:37,390 --> 01:46:40,510 ANDY: Did you deliver a baby tonight, Daddy? 1907 01:46:40,810 --> 01:46:42,770 Well, hello there. 1908 01:46:43,060 --> 01:46:45,020 BEVERLY: And what are you two doing up? 1909 01:46:45,310 --> 01:46:46,690 Andy was thirsty. 1910 01:46:46,980 --> 01:46:48,770 Did you deliver one, Daddy? 1911 01:46:49,060 --> 01:46:51,270 Well, yes, I did, and Mommy helped too. 1912 01:46:51,570 --> 01:46:52,980 Oh, can we keep it? 1913 01:46:53,280 --> 01:46:54,740 Oh, I'm afraid not. 1914 01:46:55,030 --> 01:46:57,070 But you said when Mommy helps, 1915 01:46:57,360 --> 01:46:59,030 then you would bring it home. 1916 01:46:59,320 --> 01:47:00,280 Yes, you did. 1917 01:47:00,580 --> 01:47:01,700 ANDY: Yes, you promised, Daddy. 1918 01:47:01,990 --> 01:47:03,200 We want a baby. 1919 01:47:03,500 --> 01:47:04,620 Well, now, wait a minute... 1920 01:47:04,910 --> 01:47:06,960 Darling, a promise IS a promise. 1921 01:47:07,250 --> 01:47:10,590 Now you two get to bed and Daddy and I will discuss it. 1922 01:47:10,880 --> 01:47:14,210 Will you 'scuss it tonight? If Daddy's not too tired. 1923 01:47:14,510 --> 01:47:16,550 Well, I don't think Daddy's too tired. 1924 01:47:16,840 --> 01:47:19,470 BOTH: Hooray for Mommy and Daddy! Hooray for Mommy and Daddy! 1925 01:47:19,760 --> 01:47:21,890 Hooray for Mommy and Daddy! 132935