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1
00:00:10,377 --> 00:00:11,377
You reading the funnies?
2
00:00:12,612 --> 00:00:14,657
No, it's Oscar's
column today. Yeah?
3
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,148
I didn't read it
yet. What's in it?
4
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,294
Oh, it's f...
5
00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:18,728
It's all about his
softball league
6
00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:19,863
in Central Park. Ah!
7
00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:21,464
L-Listen, listen to this.
8
00:00:21,488 --> 00:00:24,223
"A funny thing happened on
my way across Central Park.
9
00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:26,058
I got across."
10
00:00:28,645 --> 00:00:31,446
"People see there's a
lot of crime in New York.
11
00:00:31,482 --> 00:00:32,814
"That's just a vicious rumor
12
00:00:32,849 --> 00:00:34,661
started by a half
a million victims."
13
00:00:35,853 --> 00:00:37,152
I don't think that's so funny.
14
00:00:37,187 --> 00:00:40,321
Hey. "Now spring is here,
and the park is beautiful.
15
00:00:40,357 --> 00:00:43,759
The tree was green,
the bird was singing."
16
00:00:45,562 --> 00:00:46,940
Wait, wait... Must be
something wrong with me.
17
00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:48,063
I don't know.
18
00:00:48,098 --> 00:00:50,766
"Men and women
holding hands... up."
19
00:00:52,269 --> 00:00:53,947
That's disgusting!
Stop it, you're killing me!
20
00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:55,570
How can you laugh
at tripe like that?
21
00:00:55,605 --> 00:00:57,651
Well, it's funny tripe.
22
00:00:57,675 --> 00:00:59,019
Hey, Murray, how you doing?
23
00:00:59,043 --> 00:01:00,887
Hey, Oscar, this is funny! Yeah?
24
00:01:00,911 --> 00:01:02,555
Funny. Thanks.
25
00:01:02,579 --> 00:01:04,824
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself. Why?
26
00:01:04,848 --> 00:01:07,382
This is our beloved
city you're making fun of.
27
00:01:07,417 --> 00:01:08,662
Well, they're just jokes.
28
00:01:08,686 --> 00:01:09,651
Just jokes? Yeah.
29
00:01:09,687 --> 00:01:10,903
Just jokes, huh?
30
00:01:10,938 --> 00:01:13,671
That's what the Polish
people started saying.
31
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,327
"They're just jokes, Stanislas."
32
00:01:18,362 --> 00:01:19,728
Now look at them.
33
00:01:19,763 --> 00:01:20,790
Felix, you're too sensitive.
34
00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:22,447
You're darn right I'm sensitive!
35
00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:25,000
This city has been plenty
good to me, and you, too.
36
00:01:25,035 --> 00:01:27,736
And this is the way you
repay it, with stupid jokes.
37
00:01:27,771 --> 00:01:29,051
"People are
holding hands... up."
38
00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:31,751
That was a good one.
That was a good one.
39
00:01:31,775 --> 00:01:32,741
Stop it! Stop it!
40
00:01:32,776 --> 00:01:33,987
What's the matter with you?!
41
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:35,961
Don't you see where
this sort of thing can lead?
42
00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:37,262
People will believe it.
43
00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:38,975
Tourists will stop
coming to town.
44
00:01:38,999 --> 00:01:40,231
Business will fall off.
45
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:42,134
People will lose their jobs.
46
00:01:42,169 --> 00:01:43,835
And all because of your lies.
47
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:45,181
No, no, no, they're
not lies. They are lies.
48
00:01:45,205 --> 00:01:46,171
No, they're not.
No, they're not.
49
00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:47,250
They may be exaggerations,
50
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,535
but these jokes
are based on truth.
51
00:01:48,559 --> 00:01:51,777
They're based on old,
worn-out, stupid clichés,
52
00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:53,289
and I can prove it.
Go ahead, prove it.
53
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:54,379
Well, I...
54
00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:55,792
No, go ahead... how
you gonna prove it?
55
00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:58,027
I can... Go ahead. Sure you can.
56
00:01:58,051 --> 00:02:00,130
If I can prove that
these clichés are false,
57
00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:01,620
will you print a retraction?
58
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:05,157
Felix, if you can prove that
one of these clichés is false,
59
00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:06,803
I'll print such a column
about New York,
60
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:07,793
everybody in the country
61
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:08,794
will want to move here.
62
00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:10,095
You got yourself a deal,
63
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,142
Mr. Making a Fine Living
in a City You're Knocking.
64
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:14,366
Okay. But you better do it fast,
65
00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:16,429
'cause I go on my vacation
to the Bahamas in three days.
66
00:02:16,453 --> 00:02:17,953
Three days is all I need.
67
00:02:17,988 --> 00:02:20,508
You're going to eat those words,
and I'm gonna pour the ketchup.
68
00:02:22,459 --> 00:02:24,192
I think Felix is losing
his sense of humor.
69
00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:25,305
Oh, forget about him.
70
00:02:25,329 --> 00:02:26,773
Listen, you want
to hear about a joke
71
00:02:26,797 --> 00:02:27,991
I'm gonna have in
tomorrow's column? Yeah.
72
00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:30,015
I live in a very safe building.
73
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:33,418
Last night, there were three
cops in my lobby all night.
74
00:02:33,454 --> 00:02:34,747
They were afraid to go outside.
75
00:02:37,441 --> 00:02:39,525
That's not funny!
76
00:02:40,978 --> 00:02:43,912
I wasn't afraid, it was cold!
77
00:03:18,232 --> 00:03:20,365
♪ ♪
78
00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:54,433
♪ ♪
79
00:04:42,766 --> 00:04:46,534
Those comedians with their
jokes about Central Park.
80
00:04:46,569 --> 00:04:49,270
What's more beautiful than
New York on a Sunday afternoon?
81
00:04:49,305 --> 00:04:52,240
It is nice, but what do you
hope to accomplish here?
82
00:04:52,275 --> 00:04:53,920
Well, I've been going
about this the wrong way.
83
00:04:53,944 --> 00:04:56,355
You don't stop New Yorkers
when they're rushing off to work.
84
00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:57,345
They're, they're busy people.
85
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,691
They're building the world,
86
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,093
they've got things
on their mind. All right.
87
00:05:00,117 --> 00:05:02,361
What do you want
me to do? Well...
88
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:05,120
I want to explode the cliché
that New Yorkers are rude.
89
00:05:05,155 --> 00:05:06,265
Look at this.
90
00:05:06,289 --> 00:05:08,184
Just look around;
it-it's beautiful.
91
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:11,109
Nobody's grouchy in
Central Park on a Sunday.
92
00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:12,905
Look at that, people
playing volleyball,
93
00:05:12,929 --> 00:05:15,475
they're playing shuffleboard,
people are feeding pigeons.
94
00:05:15,499 --> 00:05:16,743
Look. Over there, you see?
95
00:05:16,767 --> 00:05:19,318
Oscar's playing softball.
96
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:20,852
This won't take long, will it?
97
00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:22,098
Why, what's your hurry?
98
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:24,356
Well, I've got to pick my
mother up at the airport.
99
00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:26,124
Your mother?!
100
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,904
She's coming here? Mm-hmm.
101
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:29,238
Where's she going
to stay, with you?
102
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:30,696
Yes.
103
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:32,291
For how long? Couple of weeks.
104
00:05:32,315 --> 00:05:35,416
You mean, she's going
to be there all the time?
105
00:05:35,451 --> 00:05:36,717
I guess so.
106
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:40,989
You mean, we... I guess not.
107
00:05:41,024 --> 00:05:42,290
Ah, boy!
108
00:05:42,325 --> 00:05:44,126
I'm sorry.
109
00:05:44,161 --> 00:05:47,095
You're sorry, and after
you just got over a cold.
110
00:05:48,499 --> 00:05:49,509
These things happen, you know.
111
00:05:49,533 --> 00:05:52,093
Yes, they happen
all the time, to me.
112
00:05:53,970 --> 00:05:55,180
I got it! I got it!
113
00:05:55,204 --> 00:05:56,471
I got it! I got... oop!
114
00:05:56,506 --> 00:05:57,705
Oh, I got it, I got it!
115
00:05:57,741 --> 00:05:59,285
I caught it, fellas!
Game's over!
116
00:05:59,309 --> 00:06:00,753
Game's over there! There you go!
117
00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:02,254
Five dollars a man!
See you next week!
118
00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:03,489
You cheated. Shh!
119
00:06:03,513 --> 00:06:05,012
He cheated! You
didn't catch the ball!
120
00:06:05,048 --> 00:06:06,013
Shut up, will you?
121
00:06:06,049 --> 00:06:07,076
What are you doing here anyway?
122
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,499
I'm going to explode the cliché
123
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:09,575
that New Yorkers are rude.
124
00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:10,713
Are you crazy?
125
00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:11,981
The people here
are the same people
126
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,650
that threw garbage
at you yesterday.
127
00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:15,385
Only it's Sunday; they're
taking a rudeness break.
128
00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:17,509
All right.
129
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,255
I'll change my clichés.
I'm allowed to do that.
130
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:20,245
Come here, come here.
131
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,290
Miriam, help me, help me. Yeah.
132
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:22,647
Look, now, you two...
133
00:06:22,682 --> 00:06:24,360
What do you want me to do?
134
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,394
Beat the hell out of Miriam.
135
00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:26,385
What? What?
136
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:27,719
Yeah, yeah.
137
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:29,053
Then I'll explode the cliché
138
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:30,900
that New Yorkers are
indifferent to someone in trouble.
139
00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:31,934
They'll come over to help.
140
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:32,941
Yeah, and I'll get arrested.
141
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:34,087
No. Then I'll explain to them
142
00:06:34,111 --> 00:06:35,454
what's going on.
Go on, go on. Beat...
143
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:36,589
This is gonna be interesting.
144
00:06:36,613 --> 00:06:37,791
If it's all right with you...
145
00:06:37,815 --> 00:06:39,692
I never beat up a woman.
Where do you hit her?
146
00:06:39,716 --> 00:06:41,716
Well, you just,
you take her, you...
147
00:06:41,751 --> 00:06:43,769
Felix!
148
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,404
It's her purse. Take her purse.
149
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:46,549
Give me that purse!
He's taking her purse!
150
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:47,950
All right, what do I
do? Hit her with it.
151
00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:48,940
Hit her hard. Help!
152
00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:50,119
Look what this
man is doing! Help!
153
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:51,109
Okay, run away.
154
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:52,521
Run off with the purse. Help me!
155
00:06:52,545 --> 00:06:53,662
Hey, you, come back!
156
00:06:53,697 --> 00:06:55,229
Come back here,
you... Don't come back.
157
00:06:55,265 --> 00:06:56,793
You said come back. No, no, go!
158
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:57,817
Go, go, go!
159
00:06:57,851 --> 00:06:59,384
Hold the purse high.
160
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,253
Look where, where he went!
161
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:03,321
Why doesn't
somebody help this girl?!
162
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:05,916
Why don't you?!
163
00:07:08,245 --> 00:07:10,178
Get up. You look ridiculous.
164
00:07:13,317 --> 00:07:14,494
Get out of here!
165
00:07:14,518 --> 00:07:16,451
It's her purse!
166
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:49,428
Come in.
167
00:07:49,452 --> 00:07:50,452
Hi, Oscar.
168
00:07:50,486 --> 00:07:51,452
Hi, Miriam.
169
00:07:51,487 --> 00:07:52,686
Haven't you packed yet?
170
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:53,933
You're leaving
in a little while.
171
00:07:53,957 --> 00:07:55,890
It only takes me a
minute to pack... there.
172
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,980
You're taking your dirty
laundry to the Bahamas?
173
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:03,698
That's my clean stuff.
174
00:08:04,801 --> 00:08:06,268
Where's Felix?
175
00:08:06,303 --> 00:08:08,147
He's out, trying
to explode clichés.
176
00:08:08,171 --> 00:08:09,665
I feel so sorry for him.
177
00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:10,888
He's really discouraged.
178
00:08:12,943 --> 00:08:14,309
Is it raining out?
179
00:08:14,344 --> 00:08:15,624
What happened, Felix?
180
00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:18,763
Miriam, would you mind...
181
00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:20,676
leaving me alone with
Oscar for just a minute or two?
182
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:21,777
Oh, sure. I'll see you later.
183
00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:23,084
Have a nice trip, Oscar.
184
00:08:23,119 --> 00:08:24,297
All right, honey, I'll see
you when I get back.
185
00:08:24,321 --> 00:08:26,388
Bye-bye.
186
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,790
Why'd you send her out?
187
00:08:28,825 --> 00:08:32,059
I didn't want her
to see me fall apart.
188
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:35,096
She thinks I'm macho.
189
00:08:35,131 --> 00:08:37,399
What happened?
190
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:41,403
A vicious child splashed me.
191
00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:43,015
Oh, go off to the Bahamas.
192
00:08:43,039 --> 00:08:44,083
Go with your victory.
193
00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:45,573
I concede it. I concede it.
194
00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:46,574
Aw, come on, buddy.
195
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,621
Now, don't take it so hard.
196
00:08:48,645 --> 00:08:50,690
Look, you're gonna still see
me off to the boat, aren't you?
197
00:08:50,714 --> 00:08:51,947
Yeah, sure.
198
00:08:51,982 --> 00:08:54,715
We'll go through the park.
199
00:08:54,751 --> 00:08:56,662
We'll watch the lovers
holding hands... up.
200
00:08:56,686 --> 00:08:58,686
Aw.
201
00:08:58,721 --> 00:09:00,906
We'll see the
tree, hear the bird.
202
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:02,551
Aw, come on, Felix, please.
203
00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:04,776
All right, I'll change my
clothes, we'll get a cab.
204
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:06,890
No, we-we're gonna
have to go by subway.
205
00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:09,474
The cabs are on strike.
206
00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:14,753
Is there no end?
Is there no end?
207
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:15,754
New York!
208
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:18,201
Why are you doing this to me?!
209
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:21,525
Why, why, why, why
me, your most loyal son?!
210
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,762
Shut up down there!
211
00:09:25,882 --> 00:09:27,399
Could you see who it was?
212
00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,100
Miriam's mother.
213
00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:45,584
All right.
214
00:09:58,748 --> 00:10:00,248
I don't believe it.
215
00:10:00,283 --> 00:10:01,460
I don't believe I'm starting
216
00:10:01,484 --> 00:10:04,819
a trip to the
Bahamas on the IRT.
217
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,454
At least you're leaving.
218
00:10:06,489 --> 00:10:08,656
I ride the subway
every day of my life.
219
00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:10,991
I haven't been on a
subway in five years.
220
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:13,587
I can't tell you how
much we missed you.
221
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,909
One of the reasons I
haven't been on it, see.
222
00:10:16,933 --> 00:10:18,466
That man's got a big mouth. Shh.
223
00:10:18,501 --> 00:10:22,002
Don't talk to nuts
on the subway.
224
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:23,605
Be happy, smile.
225
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,172
You're going off
on a wonderful trip.
226
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,158
You're wearing your
beautiful Bahamas shirt.
227
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:28,671
Oh, I'm gonna have
such a good time.
228
00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:30,372
Oh, boy. For two weeks,
I'm gonna have fresh air,
229
00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:31,595
a lot of women, gamble.
230
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:32,875
I'm gonna eat...
oh, it's gonna be...
231
00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:34,899
I envy you, I envy you.
232
00:10:36,536 --> 00:10:39,137
What are you, one
of the glitter people?
233
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,383
Come on, will you?
234
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:41,451
Again with the big mouth.
235
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:42,640
Where are we?
236
00:10:42,675 --> 00:10:44,553
I don't know, we
seem to be in a tunnel.
237
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:45,989
Uh, this is the conductor.
238
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:48,346
We seem to have an
electrical breakdown.
239
00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:50,148
All power is off.
240
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,050
We're stuck here indefinitely.
241
00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:55,086
We'll try to keep the lights
on as long as possible.
242
00:10:57,190 --> 00:11:00,358
At least we don't have
to look at your shirt.
243
00:11:00,394 --> 00:11:01,526
You hear?
244
00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:02,727
You see the hostility?
245
00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:04,040
That's your typical New Yorker.
246
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:05,808
You thought you saw
hostility in the park?
247
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,543
Wait till you see
it here in the dark.
248
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:09,334
No, no, you're wrong.
249
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:11,236
Now you're really
going to see something.
250
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:12,404
I was right... you'll see.
251
00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:14,205
Remember, during the blackout?
252
00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:16,807
A crisis brings out the
best in New Yorkers.
253
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,209
It brings people
closer together.
254
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:21,379
Anybody gets closer to
me, they'll lose their face.
255
00:11:23,866 --> 00:11:26,426
Just keep your mouth shut.
256
00:11:27,137 --> 00:11:30,004
The secret is, you
get people involved.
257
00:11:30,039 --> 00:11:31,250
You ask them to help.
258
00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:32,574
Oh, shh, will you?
259
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:35,443
Say, folks...
260
00:11:35,479 --> 00:11:38,113
anybody in this
car got a flashlight?
261
00:11:38,148 --> 00:11:39,375
I don't hear anything.
262
00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:40,732
What? It's dark.
263
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:43,100
They can't hear in the dark.
264
00:11:43,135 --> 00:11:44,602
Anybody in our car?
265
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:45,954
Anybody got a flashlight?
266
00:11:45,989 --> 00:11:47,788
Yeah, and if anybody
comes near me,
267
00:11:47,824 --> 00:11:49,824
I'll hit him over
the head with it.
268
00:11:49,859 --> 00:11:51,404
She heard you pretty good.
269
00:11:51,428 --> 00:11:52,711
Would you turn it on, please?
270
00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:53,746
It's broken.
271
00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:55,191
Well, why do you carry it?
272
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,648
To hit people
over the head with.
273
00:11:57,683 --> 00:11:59,050
It takes a little time.
274
00:11:59,085 --> 00:12:02,403
We've been able to
restore partial power.
275
00:12:02,438 --> 00:12:05,039
However, the train will
be stuck here indefinitely.
276
00:12:05,074 --> 00:12:06,257
Have a nice day.
277
00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:07,569
I'll miss the cruise.
278
00:12:07,593 --> 00:12:09,593
No, no, no, you're
going to make it.
279
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,673
And if I don't? It's not
the Staten Island Ferry.
280
00:12:11,697 --> 00:12:13,075
They don't have one
leaving every ten minutes.
281
00:12:13,099 --> 00:12:14,243
You're setting the wrong mood.
282
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:15,699
Relax, be friendly.
283
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:19,014
Mind if I borrow your
newspaper for a minute?
284
00:12:19,038 --> 00:12:20,282
Hey, what am I, a library?
285
00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:21,817
There you go. Give me the paper.
286
00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:24,341
Can't be civil to
the New Yorker.
287
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:29,713
Folks... my name is Felix Unger.
288
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:33,550
Backwards, that's Xilef Regnu.
289
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,015
I didn't like it frontwards.
290
00:12:37,607 --> 00:12:39,352
Now, I think we should all try
291
00:12:39,376 --> 00:12:40,586
to cooperate in a crisis.
292
00:12:40,610 --> 00:12:41,920
Don't you? I mean, after all,
293
00:12:41,944 --> 00:12:43,755
that's what New
Yorkers are famous for.
294
00:12:43,779 --> 00:12:45,946
Let's all see what we
can do for each other.
295
00:12:45,982 --> 00:12:47,382
Well, I got some food.
296
00:12:47,417 --> 00:12:49,384
My wife and I were
going on a picnic.
297
00:12:49,419 --> 00:12:50,451
You see, you see?
298
00:12:50,487 --> 00:12:51,563
Now, there's the right attitude.
299
00:12:51,587 --> 00:12:52,598
I'll bet there are a lot
300
00:12:52,622 --> 00:12:53,665
of people here who are hungry.
301
00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:54,817
Well, I got some apples here.
302
00:12:54,841 --> 00:12:57,809
A dollar apiece.
303
00:12:57,844 --> 00:13:01,445
The sandwiches are four dollars,
304
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:04,682
and, uh, coffee
is 70 cents a cup.
305
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:05,995
That's outrageous.
306
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:08,585
It's expensive to eat out.
307
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,432
Four dollars for a sandwich?
308
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,001
They're individually wrapped.
309
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:13,969
I can't believe this. I can.
310
00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:15,671
Listen, later, you'll be
begging for this food,
311
00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:17,139
and then the prices will go up.
312
00:13:17,163 --> 00:13:18,841
Listen, you got
a tuna fish salad?
313
00:13:18,865 --> 00:13:20,643
Aw, no, no, no, no, no,
don't encourage him.
314
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:23,768
People, let's work together;
let's help each other.
315
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,103
Felix. Yes, sir.
316
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,238
How come you and your
friend are the only ones
317
00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:29,774
sitting under the only
fan that's operating?
318
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,009
Good point.
319
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,409
Very good point.
320
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:33,577
Tell you what...
321
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:35,091
we'll take turns
sitting under the fan.
322
00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:36,458
You see, people are
starting to cooperate.
323
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,027
I don't want to take turns.
324
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:40,429
Just a minute. Me first.
325
00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:41,619
All right.
326
00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,254
This lady is first.
327
00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:44,656
Then in a little while,
328
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:45,935
somebody else
will sit under the fan.
329
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,603
When I'm good and ready.
330
00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:48,827
Fair enough.
331
00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:50,895
Claustrophobia.
332
00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:52,330
You got that?
333
00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:57,168
No, I just hope I don't get it.
334
00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:59,737
What are you talking
about claustrophobia?
335
00:13:59,773 --> 00:14:01,623
There's no need to panic.
336
00:14:01,658 --> 00:14:04,592
If you want some fresh
air, we'll get some fresh air.
337
00:14:04,628 --> 00:14:07,128
All you got to do is...
338
00:14:07,163 --> 00:14:09,664
Help! Let me out!
339
00:14:09,699 --> 00:14:11,143
Take it easy. Take it easy.
340
00:14:11,167 --> 00:14:12,600
Just go sit down.
341
00:14:12,636 --> 00:14:13,779
Everybody, don't get excited.
342
00:14:13,803 --> 00:14:14,880
Don't panic. No need.
343
00:14:14,904 --> 00:14:16,716
Just keep calm. Just keep calm.
344
00:14:16,740 --> 00:14:18,372
Oscar.
345
00:14:18,407 --> 00:14:20,552
Everybody, just be relaxed.
346
00:14:20,576 --> 00:14:22,989
I think it's time for our
Harvey Hanky to come out.
347
00:14:23,013 --> 00:14:24,078
Who's Harvey Hanky?
348
00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:25,424
Don't you remember Harvey Hanky?
349
00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:26,558
Give me your pen.
350
00:14:26,582 --> 00:14:28,060
Saved many a dull party
351
00:14:28,084 --> 00:14:29,361
in the old fraternity house.
352
00:14:29,385 --> 00:14:30,395
That's right.
353
00:14:30,419 --> 00:14:31,764
When people feel like panicking,
354
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:33,699
you take out Harvey...
What the heck is that?
355
00:14:33,723 --> 00:14:35,134
Hi, there, folks.
356
00:14:35,158 --> 00:14:37,375
My name is Harvey Hanky.
357
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:40,172
If you think it's stuffy
here in this subway car,
358
00:14:40,196 --> 00:14:42,041
you ought to try
living in a pocket.
359
00:14:45,201 --> 00:14:46,467
Well...
360
00:14:46,502 --> 00:14:48,047
Well, what are
you doing, Harvey?
361
00:14:48,071 --> 00:14:49,181
Well, I thought I'd talk
362
00:14:49,205 --> 00:14:50,516
to various people
here in the subway.
363
00:14:50,540 --> 00:14:51,684
Excuse me, sir.
364
00:14:51,708 --> 00:14:53,119
You look like a nice man.
365
00:14:53,143 --> 00:14:54,153
What's your name?
366
00:14:54,177 --> 00:14:55,887
Say Oscar Madison.
367
00:14:55,911 --> 00:14:56,989
What's your name?
368
00:14:57,013 --> 00:14:58,396
Oscar Madison.
369
00:14:58,431 --> 00:14:59,830
Oscar Madison!
370
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:01,766
That's a nice name.
371
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:04,146
Are you a native New Yorker?
372
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:05,569
Yes, I am.
373
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:06,605
Ah!
374
00:15:09,392 --> 00:15:12,026
How long have you
lived in New York?
375
00:15:12,061 --> 00:15:13,293
All my life.
376
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:15,574
Oh, that's why you're
a native New Yorker.
377
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:20,768
What are you doing
here in the subway?
378
00:15:20,803 --> 00:15:23,671
Dying of embarrassment.
379
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:33,509
Well, Harvey, what are
you going to do now?
380
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,477
Well, I guess I'll talk
to some more people
381
00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:37,713
around here in the subway.
382
00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:39,181
Here's a nice-looking man.
383
00:15:39,205 --> 00:15:40,805
What's your name, sir?
384
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,340
Harry Hit.
385
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:46,010
Get out of here with
that thing, will ya?!
386
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,387
Well, Harvey, I guess it's time
387
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:50,960
to put you back in my pocket.
388
00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:52,450
Oh, no, no, no!
389
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:53,930
Please don't put me
back in your pocket.
390
00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:55,320
Yes, yes, I'm afraid...
391
00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:56,782
Oh, no, no...
392
00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:12,670
Who else shall we
chat with around here?
393
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:13,983
Pencil, Felix?
394
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:16,140
Pencil. Yes, that's
a very good idea.
395
00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:18,292
I'll have a pencil. How much?
396
00:16:18,327 --> 00:16:19,344
Two dollars.
397
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,348
Two dollars for a pencil?
398
00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:26,951
Okay, swell.
399
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,219
Thank you very much.
400
00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:30,304
This pencil's all chewed.
401
00:16:30,339 --> 00:16:31,839
Don't you have a better one?
402
00:16:31,875 --> 00:16:33,741
There we are. Thank
you. Thank you.
403
00:16:33,777 --> 00:16:35,309
Ah, I got a pencil here.
404
00:16:35,344 --> 00:16:37,912
Well, no need to feel bored
or restless on the subway,
405
00:16:37,947 --> 00:16:39,491
plenty to keep you
amused around here,
406
00:16:39,515 --> 00:16:40,926
if you just have your eyes open.
407
00:16:40,950 --> 00:16:43,084
"Learn to draw."
408
00:16:43,119 --> 00:16:45,486
Anybody want to draw?
409
00:16:45,521 --> 00:16:47,321
I got a two-dollar pencil.
410
00:16:47,356 --> 00:16:50,324
What'll I do with this pencil?
411
00:16:53,797 --> 00:16:55,077
Okay...
412
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:58,343
Well, let's see
what we've got here.
413
00:16:58,367 --> 00:17:01,719
Oh... "Find employment
through the New York Herald."
414
00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:03,732
Oh, isn't that clever
how they abbreviate
415
00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:05,433
all the words,
just like in an ad.
416
00:17:05,457 --> 00:17:08,959
"Incrs ernings. Get gd jb."
417
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:12,529
Bet a lot of people here
would like to get a "gd jb."
418
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:14,326
Oscar, would you like a "gd jb."
419
00:17:14,350 --> 00:17:17,484
I'm gonna shut "yr mth."
420
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:24,658
"Meet Miss Rapid Transit of
the Month: Arlene Patulski."
421
00:17:24,693 --> 00:17:26,271
Oh, she's a very
good-looking girl,
422
00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:27,761
much better than last month.
423
00:17:27,796 --> 00:17:30,548
Boy, they touch these
pictures up plenty, I'll tell...
424
00:17:35,071 --> 00:17:36,737
You are... Yes.
425
00:17:36,773 --> 00:17:38,050
You're Arlene Patulski.
426
00:17:38,074 --> 00:17:39,606
Yes. Oh, wow!
427
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,120
We've got a
celebrity in our car!
428
00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:43,088
Hey, this is Miss Rapid Transit.
429
00:17:43,112 --> 00:17:44,478
Meet her.
430
00:17:44,513 --> 00:17:46,057
Hey, wouldn't you like to
say something to her? Felix!
431
00:17:46,081 --> 00:17:48,259
Wouldn't you like to go
outside and kiss the third rail?
432
00:17:48,283 --> 00:17:49,467
Come on.
433
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:51,313
Don't be shy, ask her something.
434
00:17:51,337 --> 00:17:52,748
Well, how about
getting this train moving?
435
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:53,882
How's that? Me?
436
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,618
Yeah, if you're such a
big shot around here,
437
00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:56,607
let's see some action.
438
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:58,203
What can I do? Folks.
439
00:17:58,227 --> 00:18:00,071
Sure, sure, Miss Rapid Transit.
440
00:18:00,095 --> 00:18:01,673
Probably the
conductor's girlfriend.
441
00:18:01,697 --> 00:18:03,130
You said it, pal.
442
00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:05,232
Sure, if I played footsie
with the conductor,
443
00:18:05,268 --> 00:18:06,800
my picture would
be up there, too.
444
00:18:06,835 --> 00:18:08,115
I don't know.
445
00:18:09,188 --> 00:18:11,789
I am nobody's girlfriend.
446
00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:12,968
Well, then, what are
you doing tonight?
447
00:18:12,992 --> 00:18:14,203
Because I'm gonna
miss the cruise.
448
00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:15,804
I know a place... Oscar, Oscar.
449
00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:16,838
What? Please.
450
00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:19,096
Please, uh, I'm only a model.
451
00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:21,365
This is my first time
on a subway... I...
452
00:18:23,335 --> 00:18:24,769
Oh... wha...?
453
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:26,387
Oh...
454
00:18:26,422 --> 00:18:27,899
That's supposed to
be up there all month.
455
00:18:27,923 --> 00:18:30,358
Some people are so crude.
456
00:18:30,393 --> 00:18:33,160
This is a job for Harvey Hanky.
457
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:36,096
Oh, it's... oh, it's worse.
458
00:18:36,131 --> 00:18:38,243
Why don't you and
that rotten hanky
459
00:18:38,267 --> 00:18:40,827
sit down and leave
everybody alone?
460
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,426
It's a nose job.
461
00:18:56,586 --> 00:18:57,668
All right.
462
00:18:57,703 --> 00:18:59,448
Give me a sandwich.
What have you got?
463
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,606
Have you been eating
up all the profits?
464
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,574
That's why we'll
never get ahead.
465
00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:05,654
All I got is
liverwurst. I'll take it.
466
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:06,910
That's eight dollars now.
467
00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:08,491
Eight dollars...
are you kidding?
468
00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:09,592
Give me half.
469
00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:10,714
Nothing doing.
470
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,883
I'm not cutting up
my last sandwich.
471
00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:15,197
Who wants to go halvies
on a liverwurst sandwich?
472
00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:16,320
Chiseler.
473
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,066
All right, here's
the eight dollars.
474
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:19,457
Wait, there's tax.
475
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,403
In your ear, there's
gonna be tax.
476
00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:22,860
Hey, there.
477
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,995
How are you, fella, huh?
478
00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:26,497
What's the matter?
479
00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:28,148
Something wrong with this dog.
480
00:19:28,183 --> 00:19:29,967
He looks okay to me.
481
00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:35,606
Dog looks okay to you?
482
00:19:35,641 --> 00:19:36,874
Can you see this dog?
483
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,626
Big dog.
484
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:41,879
You're not blind.
485
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:42,880
Shh!
486
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:44,715
Here... take another pencil.
487
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,751
Have you no shame?
488
00:19:47,786 --> 00:19:49,419
All right.
489
00:19:49,455 --> 00:19:51,672
It's my brother Bernie's dog.
490
00:19:51,707 --> 00:19:54,207
I always take him out
when I need a few bucks.
491
00:19:56,762 --> 00:19:58,445
Man, it's bright in here.
492
00:20:00,383 --> 00:20:01,482
I give up.
493
00:20:01,517 --> 00:20:02,483
That's it.
494
00:20:02,518 --> 00:20:04,351
You're right, you win.
495
00:20:04,386 --> 00:20:06,887
The whole thing is impossible.
496
00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:09,618
Well, you know, there really is
497
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,453
something wrong with this dog.
498
00:20:11,477 --> 00:20:13,622
She's going to have puppies.
499
00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:16,113
Who are you, Marlin Perkins?
500
00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:17,481
We don't have to be an expert
501
00:20:17,516 --> 00:20:19,044
to know that she's
about to give birth.
502
00:20:19,068 --> 00:20:20,980
Hey, and she's about ready.
503
00:20:21,004 --> 00:20:22,884
Can you do anything to help her?
504
00:20:23,739 --> 00:20:25,039
I don't know how.
505
00:20:25,074 --> 00:20:26,918
She don't know how from Ohio.
506
00:20:26,942 --> 00:20:28,320
Somebody's gotta help the dog.
507
00:20:28,344 --> 00:20:29,443
My brother's a doctor.
508
00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:30,689
Is he on the train? No.
509
00:20:30,713 --> 00:20:32,357
Well, what are you
wasting my time for?
510
00:20:32,381 --> 00:20:34,181
How about Felix?
511
00:20:34,216 --> 00:20:35,349
How about him?
512
00:20:35,384 --> 00:20:37,451
Well, he knew how
to make a hanky talk.
513
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:38,752
I figure he knows everything.
514
00:20:38,788 --> 00:20:41,388
Yeah, hey, your friend
Felix can help the dog.
515
00:20:41,424 --> 00:20:43,324
Why should he?
516
00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:45,442
He's fed up, and
I don't blame him.
517
00:20:45,477 --> 00:20:49,146
Boy, you guys would take
the spirit out of anybody.
518
00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:51,648
You with your newspaper
and your smart cracks.
519
00:20:51,683 --> 00:20:53,661
You with your
eight-dollar sandwiches.
520
00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:55,352
Yeah, a phony blind guy
521
00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:57,554
selling chewed-up
pencils for two dollars.
522
00:20:57,589 --> 00:20:59,534
Boy, you guys sure
took it out of him.
523
00:20:59,558 --> 00:21:02,126
You know, he was the
last loyal New Yorker left.
524
00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:03,638
I'm gonna tell you
something, we're lucky
525
00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:05,974
if he doesn't move
out of the city forever.
526
00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:07,309
Well, we should help the dog.
527
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:08,299
Come on. Yeah.
528
00:21:08,334 --> 00:21:09,544
All right, we'll do something.
529
00:21:09,568 --> 00:21:11,813
I don't know what to do,
maybe we can help him.
530
00:21:13,639 --> 00:21:14,950
Felix, if you do know something
531
00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:17,019
about helping the dog,
you should do it, you know?
532
00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:18,043
Dogs don't need any help.
533
00:21:18,077 --> 00:21:19,893
They know how to
do it all by themselves.
534
00:21:19,928 --> 00:21:21,039
They do? Of course.
535
00:21:21,063 --> 00:21:22,106
Hey, I better tell them.
536
00:21:22,130 --> 00:21:23,308
They're really
worried. No, no, no.
537
00:21:23,332 --> 00:21:24,442
Why not?
538
00:21:24,466 --> 00:21:27,568
Now you're going to
see a cliché exploded.
539
00:21:27,603 --> 00:21:28,747
Felix, listen!
540
00:21:28,771 --> 00:21:30,370
We've all been
talking, and we're sorry.
541
00:21:30,406 --> 00:21:32,283
The guy with the
newspapers, he'll give you one.
542
00:21:32,307 --> 00:21:33,351
And the fellow
with the sandwich,
543
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:34,575
you can have anything he has.
544
00:21:34,610 --> 00:21:36,243
And you can even
sit under the fan,
545
00:21:36,278 --> 00:21:39,413
but if you know anything
about helping that dog,
546
00:21:39,448 --> 00:21:41,816
could you tell us how to do it?
547
00:21:41,851 --> 00:21:43,731
Well, let's take a little look.
548
00:21:44,653 --> 00:21:46,198
See what we ought to do here.
549
00:21:46,222 --> 00:21:47,466
Hey, here comes Felix.
550
00:21:47,490 --> 00:21:49,530
Okay, let's give
the dog plenty of air.
551
00:21:49,559 --> 00:21:51,070
Lie down, sweetheart, lie down.
552
00:21:51,094 --> 00:21:53,505
I tell you, we need newspapers.
553
00:21:53,529 --> 00:21:55,407
Here, you can have my paper.
We'll spread newspapers on the floor.
554
00:21:55,431 --> 00:21:57,443
That's right... now,
next thing we need,
555
00:21:57,467 --> 00:21:58,966
we need hot water.
556
00:21:59,001 --> 00:21:59,967
Who's got hot water?
557
00:22:00,002 --> 00:22:01,902
I do. I was saving it for tea,
558
00:22:01,938 --> 00:22:03,520
but I'll take the loss.
559
00:22:03,555 --> 00:22:05,155
Good, good, great.
560
00:22:05,191 --> 00:22:06,534
Now... Can I help?
561
00:22:06,558 --> 00:22:09,826
Yes, we need bed sheets.
562
00:22:09,862 --> 00:22:12,129
Where am I gonna find
bed sheets on a subway?
563
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:13,241
Hmm, good question.
564
00:22:13,265 --> 00:22:14,276
Men's shirts.
565
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:15,710
All the men, give
me your shirts.
566
00:22:15,734 --> 00:22:17,629
Yes... not you, you
don't have to do it.
567
00:22:17,653 --> 00:22:20,387
Now, you fan the
dog with your shirts,
568
00:22:20,422 --> 00:22:21,967
give him... give
her plenty of air
569
00:22:21,991 --> 00:22:23,802
and just be patient,
don't get her excited.
570
00:22:23,826 --> 00:22:25,225
You see that?
571
00:22:25,260 --> 00:22:26,638
You see what I'm talking about?
572
00:22:26,662 --> 00:22:28,673
That gruffness,
that's just a pose.
573
00:22:28,697 --> 00:22:29,808
That's just a mask.
574
00:22:29,832 --> 00:22:31,042
This is the real New Yorker.
575
00:22:31,066 --> 00:22:32,911
This is what people
come from out of town
576
00:22:32,935 --> 00:22:34,012
to meet and to love.
577
00:22:37,956 --> 00:22:39,956
They sure fooled
me, I'm telling...
578
00:22:39,992 --> 00:22:41,770
Felix, I'm gonna write an
article about this situation
579
00:22:41,794 --> 00:22:43,194
that's gonna make
you very happy.
580
00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:46,608
You're going to apologize
to New York, huh?
581
00:22:46,632 --> 00:22:48,031
I apologize, New York.
582
00:22:48,067 --> 00:22:49,778
And I think you
owe me an apology.
583
00:22:49,802 --> 00:22:51,635
I apologize, Felix Unger.
584
00:22:51,670 --> 00:22:53,716
And I think you should
apologize to me, too.
585
00:22:53,740 --> 00:22:55,250
I'm not going to
apologize to Harvey Hanky.
586
00:22:55,274 --> 00:22:56,418
That's it... no, sir, no, sir.
587
00:22:56,442 --> 00:22:57,762
I'm not going to
apologize to him.
588
00:23:09,855 --> 00:23:12,022
Put these lights on him.
589
00:23:17,663 --> 00:23:19,029
Hey, fellas!
590
00:23:19,065 --> 00:23:21,076
Everybody, give
me a telephone call.
591
00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:22,711
We'll all go to a
movie next week.
592
00:23:22,735 --> 00:23:23,968
So long, Mel!
593
00:23:24,003 --> 00:23:25,413
Don't forget, we're
having lunch soon.
594
00:23:25,437 --> 00:23:26,949
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
595
00:23:26,973 --> 00:23:29,084
Bye-bye, Felix. Good-bye.
596
00:23:29,108 --> 00:23:30,552
Be careful now,
don't get her excited.
597
00:23:30,576 --> 00:23:32,287
They're very, very
protective now.
598
00:23:33,312 --> 00:23:34,623
Passengers, attention.
599
00:23:34,647 --> 00:23:37,380
Please transfer to
the opposite platform.
600
00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:40,818
This train is going to the
railroad yard for repairs.
601
00:23:40,853 --> 00:23:42,430
You'll take your
cruise ticket back,
602
00:23:42,454 --> 00:23:43,632
and you'll get a refund.
603
00:23:43,656 --> 00:23:45,700
And then, you'll
spend your vacation
604
00:23:45,724 --> 00:23:47,970
in the most popular
vacation spot on earth.
605
00:23:47,994 --> 00:23:49,738
Where is that? New York City.
606
00:23:49,762 --> 00:23:51,128
I live in New York City.
607
00:23:51,164 --> 00:23:52,390
You ever been
608
00:23:52,414 --> 00:23:54,293
to the top of the Empire
State Building? No.
609
00:23:54,317 --> 00:23:56,528
You ever seen the
Statue of Liberty? No.
610
00:23:56,552 --> 00:23:58,063
You're a typical New Yorker.
611
00:23:58,087 --> 00:23:59,764
We'll take the bus
to Orchard Beach,
612
00:23:59,788 --> 00:24:01,055
you'll put on your army shoes.
613
00:24:01,090 --> 00:24:02,422
You'll walk in the sand.
614
00:24:09,181 --> 00:24:11,414
And you'll see what a
railroad yard looks like.
615
00:24:19,091 --> 00:24:20,234
Hi, buddy.
616
00:24:20,258 --> 00:24:21,825
Hey, buddy.
617
00:24:21,861 --> 00:24:23,026
How you doing?
618
00:24:23,061 --> 00:24:24,305
Pretty good, thanks.
619
00:24:24,329 --> 00:24:25,662
Do you know what today is?
620
00:24:25,698 --> 00:24:26,708
Thursday.
621
00:24:26,732 --> 00:24:28,398
Uh-uh. Guess again.
622
00:24:28,433 --> 00:24:29,544
What?
623
00:24:29,568 --> 00:24:32,619
It's a very important
anniversary.
624
00:24:32,654 --> 00:24:36,123
Oh, yes, Belmont
Racetrack's 40th year.
625
00:24:37,810 --> 00:24:38,776
Wrong.
626
00:24:38,811 --> 00:24:40,678
Absolutely dead wrong.
627
00:24:40,713 --> 00:24:41,790
What?
628
00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:43,714
It is eight weeks to the day
629
00:24:43,749 --> 00:24:45,382
that we were
trapped in the subway.
630
00:24:45,417 --> 00:24:46,684
So?
631
00:24:46,719 --> 00:24:48,552
I brought you a little memento.
632
00:24:48,587 --> 00:24:49,953
What?
633
00:24:53,141 --> 00:24:56,476
Aw, I don't believe it.
634
00:24:56,511 --> 00:24:58,311
Isn't that something?
635
00:24:58,346 --> 00:25:00,380
Isn't that something?
636
00:25:00,415 --> 00:25:02,199
What are you gonna call him?
637
00:25:02,234 --> 00:25:04,434
I'm calling him Yawbus.
638
00:25:04,470 --> 00:25:05,935
Yawbus... what's that?
639
00:25:05,971 --> 00:25:08,138
"Subway" spelled backwards.
41596
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