All language subtitles for vacaciones de verano

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Good morning, honey.

Good morning.

Why don't you sleep a little longer?
I'll make breakfast and wake Carmen up.

Okay.

SUMMER VACATION

Good morning, princess.
Time to get ready for school.

Good morning, Daddy.

Smells good.

Honey, I was going to bring you
breakfast in bed so you could rest.

Come sit.

- Hi, sweetheart.
- Hi.

Sweetie, read Mom
the poem you wrote for the talent show.

Okay.

"My mother and father
Are wonderful, I say"

"I'm the apple of their eyes
And a princess every day"

"I get tickles and hugs every morning…"

Let go of the chair.
This is your last warning!

- Get up, tubby! That's my chair!
- Stop it, or you're in big trouble.

Eat your cereal, now!

Félix will be here any minute,
and you still haven't had breakfast.

Every morning, it's the same. I've had it.

I'm at my wits' end. Don't you dare.

- No...
- Laura.

- It's raining cereal!
- Why on earth would you do that now?!

That'll be Félix.
Out of here, both of you.

Bye, Mommy. Have fun!

Coming!

- Hello.
- Hi.

Wanna hear my poem for the talent show?

My mother and father are wonderful, I say

I'm the apple of their eyes
And a princess every day

Gross.

Gross?

What's gross is your brother's hair.

Can you tell my
dad not to forget the talent show?

I don't care if he comes,

but if he doesn't,
my mom will say he's an absent father,

then he'll say she's guilt-tripping him,

and I'll be the one
needing to go to therapy.

And give him this frame
we made him for Father's Day.

But that was months ago.
You haven't seen him since then?

No.

Come to think of it,
I lost a tooth since we took that photo.

Do you have a black marker?
I'll cross it out.

Good morning.

Maldonado, here's your revised report.

A very good morning to you.

Wow. Keep it up.
Do you know what time it is?

Yeah. I got up bright and early.

I don't want to push the limits too much
till you get that promotion

and let me come in whenever I want.

Dream on.

Your kids made you a present.
It's on your desk.

Jeez. Get a load of this ugly thing.

They made it with love.

- I meant the girl with the missing tooth.
- She just lost it.

They took the photo three months ago.
It was your Father's Day gift.

Don't forget, today's
the school talent show.

My kids aren't in it, are they?
They aren't talented at all.

How can you say that?

I mean, have you seen this macaroni frame?

How can you say they're not talented?
You don't even know how old they are.

I do too. The older one is… let me think.

He's older than the little one.

And she's gotta be older than four.

I think she's been around
for two Olympic Games.

You're kidding, right?

Of course I am.
How could I not know their ages?

But it's hard to tell by looking at them.
How old would you say the boy is?

Based on the way he talks, 46.
But he's in the 4th grade, so I'd say ten.

That's it. Ten.

Bingo. I'm gonna grab a snack.
Want anything?

Nice job, sweetie.
I knew you'd win. Your poem was wonderful.

I'll put it
next to my national dictation trophy.

Get your pj's on. It's dinnertime.

It's my turn!

- Cut that out!
- No!

You have until the count of ten.

Ten. Nine.

Now that Carmen isn't here,
we need to talk.

Right. Her birthday.

Time flies. I can't believe she's turning…

Eight.

Yeah. She's growing up.

So I don't think it'll be too hard
on her if we get divorced.

What?

Félix, I'll just say it.

I've been seeing someone else for months.

Months? How many months?

Seven.

- No, not that long. Don't freak out.
- Six.

I can't believe it.

Five, four, three, two, one, and…

Is there any chance
we can work things out?

Zero!

- Laura!
- Okay. Chill.

Now, eat your dinner.
Cristóbal, put the phone down.

Laura, eat your spaghetti.

What did you do?

Son, aren't you gonna react?
Very funny. You still have to eat it.

- But there's hair on it.
- You should've thought of that before.

What do you mean,
Mom served you hair for dinner?

I gotta go, sweetie.
Somebody's at the door.

Be a good girl. Eat your dinner.

Hello?

Óscar, can I stay with you?

- What?
- My wife left me.

Well…

give me a minute to straighten up a bit.

Hey! Wanna crash here?

C'mon, man. It's not so bad.

I was just like you when my wife left me,
and look at me now.

I'm living the dream.

Nobody to hog the blanket
or tell me to lift the toilet seat.

'Cause I don't have a toilet seat
or anything.

I take a leak in that corner like a boss.

Okay. Come on up.

Can I come up too?

I should've suspected something.

When everything's too perfect
at the start of a movie,

it all goes wrong,
and it ends up being a horror film.

Come on. The horror's over now.
You can start enjoying life.

Yeah. That's what the homeless guy
downstairs said.

Especially now that
they're gonna make you manager.

What more could you ask for?

That's true.

When I tell my wife,
she'll see I'm not some loser.

She'll find me sexy again.

Well, sexy might be a stretch,

but I bet she'll want you back.

Let me show you your room.

Here it is. Your room.

Hey! Are you still okay
with me sleeping down there?

Time for bed, you goofball.

All right, Félix. How's it going?

Well…

You're our best employee,

and I was looking forward to the day
you'd step into the role of manager.

You know you were
one of my dad's favorites.

Good old Emilio.

So I'm not sure how to put this.

Hey. What's up, boss?

What's wrong?

- I just got fired.
- What?

What did I tell you?

You gotta make them see your worth.
Nobody respects a pushover.

But don't sweat it, pal.

As long as I'm working here,
I got you covered.

Óscar.

Can we talk?

Is this how they repay us
after our 30 years of service?

"Downsizing"? I wish
I could cut that jerk down to size.

Can you not make jokes like that?
It makes me want to cry even more.

And on top of everything, it's raining.
In the middle of summer!

It's just a passing shower.

Know what you gotta do
when life gets you down?

Treat yourself. Come on. Let's go.

Hold on. Where are you going?

See? The rain stopped.

What are we doing here?
You're out of your mind.

We can't spend money we don't have
on a fancy meal at a place like this.

Gentlemen.

It's okay. We already know what we want.

The seafood platter and your best wine.

- All right. Your room number?
- Room 314.

Dig in. This is so good.
You haven't eaten since yesterday.

I can't. My stomach's in knots.

What if they catch us?

You just downed a bottle of wine
from the last century.

They won't catch us.
This is a classy place.

They don't treat their guests
like potential con men.

Your room number, please?

Room 314.

Are those two guests here?

Félix, slow down.

You didn't eat anything,
but I'm so stuffed, I'm about to hurl.

We're thieves.

It's no big deal, man.

Hotel owners are loaded.
Just look at my brother-in-law.

Hey! Maybe he can help us find work.

He always comes to your rescue.

Nah. I still owe him money
from the last time he bailed me out.

- But…
- But what?

If we use your savings to repay him,
he might be willing to help.

Okay. Ask your sister to butter him up.

I'll talk to my wife.

I'll tell her I lost my job

so she'll feel bad for me
and take me back.

What? You got fired?

What did I tell you?

After your wife leaves you,
everything starts going your way.

You'll be just like me in no time.

- What's this?
- I packed your stuff.

I was hoping we could talk
and patch things up.

Félix, it's over.

But at work, I've been

promoted.

Oh, really?

Great. I'll get more alimony.

Can we please talk?

Yeah. We have a lot to talk about.

Luis says we should
break the news to Carmen together.

That way, she'll see we're
on the same page about the split.

Who's Luis?

The school psychologist.
I've been taking Carmen to prepare her.

Good afternoon.

How'd you get in here?
Don't be scared, honey.

It's all good. I have keys.

- Hi, babe.
- Hi, hon.

This is Luis.

The psychologist?

Yeah. He's here to give you advice
to help you cope.

You're with the psychologist?

Félix, I'm here as a professional.

If you can't compartmentalize,
I won't be able to help.

He's here for you.

And he's willing
to give you a 20% family discount.

He's gonna charge me for this trauma?

If you want, he can do it for free
since he's my boyfriend.

Always taking advantage of others.

Fifteen years playing the nice guy,
and the second I cheat,

your true colors show.

Easy, honey. Let's channel this
into something productive.

- Tell him about our vacation plans.
- Oh yeah.

We need to talk
about Carmen's summer schedule.

Luis and I want to go
on a trip by ourselves.

A sort of honeymoon.

But we aren't even divorced yet.

We haven't been able to get away
because we were afraid of being caught.

I think we deserve…

a nice trip together.

Is that a problem?

It's fine.
I mean, when you put it like that.

Thank goodness.

See how well things work
when you communicate?

- Hi, Luis.
- Hi, sweetie!

Boom.

Group hug. There we go.

My little Óscar.

We're so happy to see you.

- So happy.
- Aren't we?

Just overjoyed.

You're here to pay back
the money we lent you, right?

Eduardo!

Not today. I'll pay you back,
together with what I'm going to borrow.

I'm joking, man.
I won't ask you for more money.

Scared you, huh?

- Sure did.
- He's always been a joker.

Isn't it a relief
I don't owe you even more?

Jesus.

What I need now is a job. I got fired.

That's terrible.

Somehow, I'm not surprised.

- Eduardo, please.
- Sorry.

Maybe there's an opening
for me at that hotel chain you work for.

No. There's nothing open.

And I don't work for that hotel chain.

I'm one of the partners.
I practically own it.

But this summer, you'll need some help.

You could look into it.
He is my brother, after all.

- Fine.
- Just think.

I'd be working off my debt,
and I'd be up for any job.

Any job.

While you're at it, see if there's
anything for my buddy Félix.

- He was also let go.
- Another one.

Come on. He's got a mouth to feed,
and so do I.

- But you have two kids, right?
- Yeah, two.

Two kids. I'm even worse off.

I didn't want you to think
I was after pity.

That's so sad.

I told her I was promoted
to try and impress her.

My alimony's gonna be through the roof.

Like Eduardo's blood pressure
when I asked for a job.

All I care about now
is how Carmen's gonna take this.

Don't worry.
Kids these days are very mature.

Really? How'd you break the news
to your kids?

- So?
- What did you want to tell us?

Mom, Dad, you know your daughter

and I love you more
than anything in the world.

That'll never change.

But we think it'd be best
for all of us if you get a divorce.

We're sorry to tell you this,
but we think it's the right call.

I'm trying to live my best life

so they won't think the divorce got to me.

- They miss you.
- They've never told me that.

- Maybe because you never call them.
- They still haven't told me.

Besides, my kids know I love them.
The problem is I don't like children.

- Then why did you have them?
- They're only kids for a short while.

It's like buying silkworms
to get butterflies.

It seems to me the real worm here is you.

That was harsh.
Don't blame me for what happened to you.

You did things right,
and you're in the same spot as me.

I'll make you something to eat.
I bet you skipped dinner.

Your kitchen isn't exactly well stocked.

I can boil the macaroni
off this frame my kids gave me.

It's my sister.

Hello?

Really?

Wow, you're the best.

Thanks so much.

Love you.

- Did she get us a job?
- A five-star hotel, all-inclusive.

- A salary and we get to live there.
- Really?

Yep. Just for a month, but it's great.

What's the job? Accounting? Office work?

- Kids' activities staff.
- Kids' activities staff?

Me, entertain kids?

But I'm not fun.

And you hate children.

We get to spend a month
on the beach, living it up.

No. I can't be away from my daughter.

And I can't save my marriage
if I'm not here.

If you go away for a while,
there's a shot you might win her back.

Once she's done with the other guy,
she'll come crawling back.

You don't have to do a thing.

Except pack.

Wow.

They did it for you. Nice.

Where were you? Our flight's in two hours.

I was packing my daughter's suitcase.

Your daughter?

- Hi.
- What do you mean, "hi"?

We can't take her.
She can't be at the hotel.

What do you want me to do?
She's with me this month.

I told my wife that,
since I got a promotion,

I was taking Carmen
on a trip to a fancy hotel.

It'll be our secret.
Nobody will find out. She's tiny.

- So is the room we're sharing.
- She can fit anywhere.

- But where will my kids stay?
- Hi!

- What?
- They're with me this month.

My ex left them at the door an hour ago.

Oh my gosh.

We'll spend the rest of our money
on their tickets.

I won't be able to pay the landlord.
Whatever. Let him come looking for us.

And when we come back?

We'll cross that bridge
when we come to it.

Cross it? We'll live under it,
more likely.

Okay, kids.
This vacation is a top-secret mission.

We'll have a blast,
but you gotta keep it on the down-low.

If we get caught, it's game over.

Got it?

Nobody can find out you're with us.

We'll create a group chat

so we can stay in touch
without being found out.

We'll call it "Operation Vacation."

I'll be "Silver Eagle."

Son, you're more of a dodo.

No, I'm "Silver Eagle."

Look, Dad. A unicorn.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I saw it jumping from cloud to cloud.

It's your lucky day, sweetie.

Jeez, Félix. Don't encourage her.

The only horse's ass
I see flying right now is you.

I want Carmen's seat!

- Okay.
- I wanna see the unicorn!

No. Sit down.

I want Carmen's seat!
I want to see the unicorn!

I can't put up with this the whole flight.

Listen to Félix
and use the flight to practice

so you don't screw up at the hotel.

Where are you going?

Hey, Óscar!

Is this seat free?

- Hi.
- Hi.

"Operation Vacation."

"Get back here, you jerk."

"Fat chance."

My dad wrote that.

HALF AN HOUR LATER

Got it?

Yeah. When we walk around the hotel,

we'll stick close to an adult
so it looks like we're with them.

That's it. And if anyone asks anything?

Cristóbal.

Very good.

And remember,
you don't know your father or me.

- I want Carmen's seat now!
- No way!

Then I'll scream.

Laura! Hey!

My God. That girl sounds
like a pig being slaughtered.

But it's not her fault.

It's her parents' fault
for not disciplining her.

Laura, you can't behave
like that at the hotel.

- Why?
- What do you mean, "why"?

Kids, behave yourselves
and do as your father says.

What? I don't know this man.

Of course he speaks Spanish.

He's so Spanish.
Doesn't he look like he loves Iberian ham?

Here it is.

Look. The buses are over there.

Forget the buses.

There's our driver.

It says, "Mr. Chang."
He's waiting for a Chinese passenger.

Put your sunglasses on
and let me do the talking.

Oh my God. Here we go.

Come on.

Excuse me.

- That's me.
- You're Mr. Chang?

Yes. And this is my family.

- What?
- Welcome.

Yes, of course.

Follow me.

Come on, kids.

Hurry up.

You're all set. Have a nice stay.

Thank you, Mr. Chang.

- What'd you say?
- "Thanks."

- That was "thanks" in Chinese?
- It "shyure" was.

Kids, get ready.

Go follow that couple.

We're gonna get caught.

And even worse, my wife's gonna kill me.

And if she does that,
how can I win her back?

What did I tell you, pal?

The secret to life
is to improvise as you go.

We're so gonna get caught.

No! I want it!

Hi, cutie.
We're the kids' activities staff.

Kids' activities staff.

They're the new kids' activities staff.

Óscar and Félix.

I'm Bárbara.

I'll say you're a Barbie.
We're here to see the manager.

That would be me.

Wait here a moment.

What was that about?

See that? I complimented the boss.

I'm off to a good start.

You'll be given keys
to your room in the staff area.

Go get settled in.
Meet me here in half an hour.

You're stupid, fat, and ugly!

I can't stand kids.

No, he loves kids.

He can't stand parents
who let them run wild.

It's thanks to those parents
that you have jobs.

Jeez, Félix.

I was off to a great start,
and you screwed it up.

Just leave the talking to me.

Here are your keys.

Straight ahead, fourth hallway,
to the left.

Thanks. I guess we'll be seeing
a lot of each other.

I'm Mr. Chang.
There was no one waiting to pick us up.

We had to take a cab.

This has never happened before.
What's going on?

We have to count to ten
before we follow them.

One, two, three, four, five…

…ten.

Let's hope they don't get lost.
This is hard to navigate.

Quit worrying so much.

We should've set them up
with GPS trackers.

DAD

This way.

You put a tracker on your dad?

It was my mom's idea.

In case he tried to ditch us.

Oh no. We lost the signal.

Maybe he found the chip and ripped it out.

I hid it in his suitcase, weirdo.
It's not an implant.

Too bad.

The signal's back.

This way.

Oh no. The kids aren't here.
They probably got caught.

We were so far ahead, they got lost.

Relax. They saw us take that turn.

I'll go check.

Is the room really this way?

- This is terrible.
- Yeah. It's creepy here.

Kids!

What are you doing here?
This is the employee area.

Where are your parents?

Are you Greek?

No, we're Chinese.

Come with me.

There. Those are our parents.

Yeah, by the swimming pool.

Them?

You sure?

- Fine. Go with them.
- Come on.

Hey. Wait up!

Can we help you?

Could we use some of your sunscreen?

Our mom ran out, and we're getting burned.

Yeah, sure. Come here.
I'll put some on you.

Quick! Get inside!

That was a close call.

See? I told you
they weren't lost, worrywart.

A lady caught us
in the hallway, and we had to pretend.

You gotta be more careful.
You want us to end up in jail?

We wouldn't go to jail. We're minors.

Just until you turn 18.

Then they lock you up

and add the years they had to wait
for you to start your sentence.

That's not true.

Well, kids don't know how it works.
That's why they're so reckless.

Most prisoners are in
for things they did when they were ten.

I bet jail's better than this.

Besides, there are only two beds.
Where are we gonna sleep?

I got dibs on this one.

No! I want that one! Get up, tubby!

I said it's mine!
Don't hit me! You always hit me!

You can't tell me what to do!

Quit it!

Kids!

Could you scream a bit more quietly?

Be quiet.

It's your mother.

Hi, honey.

Sorry, Cristina.

It's gonna take some getting used to.
How are you?

Yes. She's here. I'll put her on.
She's having a great time.

Remember what we talked about.

Hi, Mom.

Yeah. Great.

The hotel's amazing.

And Dad's the best father in the world.

Oh yeah.

All the ladies at the hotel check him out
when he walks by.

One said, "Wow.
He's cute. I hope he's divorced."

Sweetie, what are you telling your mom?
That's kids for you.

Sorry. We have to go.

We're heading to dinner.

Besides, we need to get ready
to go to the nightclub.

We're gonna go dancing
and who knows what else...

- What are you doing?
- Keeping you from embarrassing yourself.

My wife still feels something for me.
I can tell.

No. What you made her
feel is nauseous. Me too.

We gotta go see the manager.

Are you leaving us here by ourselves?

- I'm hungry.
- Me too. I'm starving.

Again?

But you ate this morning.

How many times a day do they eat?

This way.

Kids, you get off on the first floor,
where the guest dining room is,

and have dinner
while we speak to the manager.

Here's a room key.

Once you're done, take the same elevator
and hurry back to the room.

We'll meet there at 7:30 sharp.

Sit near some foreign couple

who don't seem to understand much
so it looks like you're with them.

Right. My God. We're leaving our kids
alone at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

What's that?

Holy moly!

And we only have 30 minutes to eat it all.

No time to lose.
Last one there's a rotten egg!

100% PURE IBERIAN ACORN-FED HAM

To tell you the truth,
I expected you to be younger.

But you come highly recommended,

and given your age,
you must be very experienced.

- Where did you get your certificates?
- Which ones? We have a lot of 'em.

Well, I don't mean health certificates.

We have a degree in childhood
and sociocultural activities…

educational… leisure… civic recreation.

And we have a diploma
in juvenile entertainment.

Here are your uniforms
and activity schedule.

It's all organized
by days of the week and exact times.

Stick to it,
and you won't have any problems.

Come on. I'll explain everything
while I give you a tour.

Let's get moving.

You'll work from 11:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m.
with a two-hour break.

When there are day trips,
you'll start earlier.

We normally have two groups.
Ages four to seven and seven to 12.

But this summer, we'll have just one
because there aren't many kids. Questions?

How many are "a few"?

- Twenty, tops.
- Twenty?

There's a hotel map in your folders.

We have six pools,
four for adults and two for kids.

On floors two to four,
we have arcade games, simulators,

a zip line, tennis court, climbing wall,
game room, and mini golf.

You'll meet up with the kids
in the game room.

Any questions?

Can I have a crepe?

Of course.

A crepe.

Coming right up. Here.

Can I get a crepe?

How's this one?

Good.

Can I have a crepe?

A big squeeze of this!

A handful of this.

Some onions…

Yummy.

Another ring. And another.

And more onions.

More ketchup, please.

Total masterpiece.

Crepe, please.

Sure thing.

Thank you.

Can I have a crepe?

You're gonna make yourself sick.
That's your fifth one.

If you want more,
come back with your folks.

Laura.

I need you to help me get a crepe.
The chef's on to me.

What's in it for me?

All these fries.

Deal!

Forget the fries.
You're not gonna believe what I found.

Follow me.

Hey! Where do you think you're going?

This is our turf.

If you want candy, you gotta pay first.

- Excuse me?
- You must be new here.

We've been here for a week,
and we're in charge here.

Every kid at this hotel knows
they can't take candy unless they pay up.

I have this lamb chop. Does that work?

Are you kidding?

We can get that ourselves.

- Do you have a phone?
- What would you give me for it?

Three marshmallows
and two pieces of licorice.

In your dreams.

Get outta here, then.

I'll kill him.

- Give me some candy!
- Get off!

We can't make a scene.

And don't even think
about snitching to your parents,

or you'll regret it.

Well, well, Gustavito,
broccoli seems to be your new thing.

Starting today, broccoli counts as candy.

That's about it.
You'll have to be vigilant.

Parents want nothing to do with their kids
while they're here at the hotel.

Today, three kids
were just wandering around.

- As of tomorrow, that can't happen.
- Yes, ma'am.

- If you'd like to grab dinner...
- Great. I was going to ask you myself.

If you'd like to grab dinner,
the staff cafeteria is open.

Thanks. We're starving.

Shoot. We can't. It's 7:30.
We need to get back to the kids.

Only one of us needs to go. I'll do it.

- You're skipping dinner?
- No.

I mean, I'll go to dinner,
and I'll grab you something.

But, what…?

Kids, I'm back…

Kids?

Wait, what?

What did you do?

Pops, save the sermon for later, will ya?
We're not up for it.

Excuse me? What did you say?

We'll talk tomorrow.

What's up?

It's about time.

I was getting to know the staff.
Winning them over. It's key.

I told them you were feeling sick.

The kids are sick.
I've spent an hour cleaning up puke.

And the carb overload
turned my daughter into a little punk.

Miss Goody Two-Shoes
must've really chowed down.

And look at these two.

I totally pigged out too.

- Did you bring me dinner?
- Yeah. Here.

What's this?

An energy bar with everything you need.

I wasn't going to make a scene
by stuffing my pockets with food.

But it has chocolate in it.
I'm allergic to chocolate.

How can you be allergic to chocolate?

Boy, you really can't enjoy
anything good in life.

- I'm starving. I'm going to the cafeteria.
- It's closed. But don't worry.

What do I always say?

The secret to life
is to improvise as you go.

I'll fix this in a jiffy.

- Room service?
- How may I help you?

- Yes, I'd like a club sandwich…
- A club sandwich.

And a soda delivered to room 432.

Yeah. But I'm about to take a shower,
so just leave it at the door.

- No problem, sir.
- Thank you.

Done. In ten minutes,
it'll be at the door of room 432.

I have to go get it?

Well, I can't do everything for you.

This is a map of the hotel.

Memorize it. This is where we'll meet up.

The game room.

Óscar and I will go this way,

and you'll go this way.

We'll meet here
at eleven o'clock on the dot.

From 11:00 to 9:00, we can be together
without making anyone suspicious.

Until 9:00, he says.
You won't make it to noon.

We will because you guys
will be so enthusiastic,

it'll rub off on the other kids.

What are the rules?

Don't tell any kid who we are.

Always call you by your names.

Perfect. Any questions?

Yeah. What's my dad's name?

Óscar.

Who's calling me?

You're the kids' activities staff?
You're joking, right?

I'm filing a complaint.

We were told 20 kids max,
and I think there are more here.

Quiet, genius. You're counting ours too.

Oh, true.

That, and we seem to have
two of the same kid.

Morning! I'm Óscar, and this is Félix.
We're gonna have an epic summer!

What kind of summer?

You, what kind of summer
are we gonna have?

Epic.

I'm bored.

All right. I tried. You can take over.

Well, we haven't even started yet.

Let's get to it

because we have a schedule
jam-packed with fun stuff!

Yeah!

Yes!

How fun! This is so cool!

Today is Monday,
so let's start with balloon animals.

Who wants a balloon doggy?

- Me.
- Good.

Coming right up. Let's make that doggy.

You know, children,
balloon animals are an ancient art form.

The name comes from the Latin
"animalis," meaning "having breath."

And "balloon."

From "balloon."

Is that a dog?

Are you sure?

Here. Share it.

It's so ugly.

No. You can have it.

No, you can.

No. It's all yours.

- Thanks, but no.
- No way.

You're such a loser.

- We like the fat guy more.
- You got that right.

Yeah.

Is this the kids' club?

Yeah.

I'll leave my daughters with you.

- Mei.
- Wen.

What good manners!

See, kids?

You should follow their example.
Let's introduce ourselves.

- What's your name?
- What's it to you?

Anybody else want a balloon doggy?

Okay. Balloon animals, check.

ACTIVITY: BALLOON ANIMALS

Hey, friends.

My brother and I are hiding
from the witch.

When she comes,
don't tell her which way we went, okay?

Here she comes! Run!

I'm looking for those siblings.

Children, can you tell me
which way they went?

Can you tell me which way they went?

That way.

PUPPET SHOW

I get why they left.
They want to be outside, not cooped up.

I can't be in the sun for long.
I burn easily.

- We need to find them fast.
- So put sunscreen on.

That's not the main problem.
Table tennis starts in 15 minutes.

Can you chill out?
It's table tennis, not defusing bombs!

If we're not at table tennis by 12:30,
we could get caught and thrown in jail.

And if we're in jail, we'll miss
rhythmic gymnastics at 1:15 p.m.

Cannonball!

See? Nothing to worry about.
There they are, relaxing by the pool.

Come on, kids. It's almost 12:30.

Let's keep to the schedule.
Don't stress Félix out.

So from now on, I'm keeping you in line.

Come on. Let's get this over with.

- Who wants to go first?
- Me! Please!

Come on, champ. There you go.

Let's do this.

Next!

Done! What else is there?

Outdoor activities.
Come on. Let's move out.

Let's take a moment to relax, kids.

Come on.

Release the tension in your necks.

Checkmate.

Breathe in! Breathe out!

These are the lungs, okay?

I'm putting one over here.

- I'm beat.
- I'm done for the day.

- It's only five o'clock.
- Five o'clock already?

Let's go, or we won't make it
to the next activity.

The kids sent me to tell you
they're not going anywhere.

They're fed up with the activities.

If you want,
you can negotiate with their leader.

They're right.

We're exhausted,
and the kids are stressed out.

Look. That one's twitching.

I'll go talk to him.

Careful, Dad. He's dangerous.

Don't call him Dad. That is dangerous.

Okay, Óscar. Hurry up and take care of it.
At five o'clock, we have to...

We've tried things your way.

Now we'll do this my way.

- Here we go.
- What do I always say?

The secret to life
is to improvise as you go.

It looks like you could use
some motivation.

Let's play games for prizes.

We'll start with a race around the pool.

Whoever completes a lap in the least time
wins an ice-cream voucher.

Hooray!

So you're handling the situation
by bribing them?

Who's first?

Me! Get that voucher ready.
I'm the fastest kid in my school.

To the starting line.

Stopwatch set. Ready, set, go!

Hugo!

Are you okay?

I'm getting my mom.

Wait. Hey! See?
He got hurt because of your little game.

Leave the lady alone.
She's had enough of a scare.

Kids, come here.

If you promise to keep quiet about this,
you'll each get an ice-cream voucher.

All right!

Yummy!

One for you, another one for you,

one for you, and another one for you.

None for you.

You look like decent people,
and I know you won't snitch.

- We could talk about other things.
- Right.

Very educational.

Are you planning to buy their silence
all month long?

Oh boy.

The monster boy and his mom.

- Are you the activities staff?
- Yeah.

We're very sorry, ma'am.
It was an accident.

We leave them with you so we can relax,
not so we can be startled like this.

You're right. It's our first day,
and I guarantee you it won't happen again.

It definitely won't. I'm reporting you.

Give us a second chance.

Fine, but only
because I'm getting a massage at 6:00.

Thank you.

Hugo, champ, we'll give you a voucher
even though you didn't finish the race.

- She's cute, huh?
- Who?

Who? The little monster's mom.

I don't know. I didn't notice.
I only have eyes for my wife.

How's that working out for you?

- She's into you.
- Yeah, right.

- That would be a first.
- There's someone for everyone.

Let's go.

Who's showering first?

The shower's mine!

- No, Laura!
- Hey!

Hit each other quietly,
or we'll be found out!

What do you mean, "hit quietly"?
Don't hit each other!

Hey. Do you think
my wife's getting tired of the other guy?

With your daughter out of the house?

Yeah. I bet he's tiring her out.

No. I mean, do you think she's had enough?

I'd say she's getting plenty.

- Kids, what are you doing?
- Cristóbal!

Don't scream!

Please!

- He's spraying me!
- I've had it! What are you doing?

Don't spray me!

Quit it!

Come on! That's enough!

Hey. How's it going?

- Is everything okay in here?
- Yeah. Just perfect.

I thought I heard kids screaming.

You heard it too? That's a relief.

I thought I'd lost it
after spending all day with them.

- It was coming from here.
- No. More kids?

That's the last thing we need.

Sure. Where's your colleague?

Here I am. I was in the shower.

With your clothes on?

I got dressed when I heard you.

I was telling your colleague I heard kids.

Yeah. That was me
rehearsing for the puppet shows.

"We like to try new voices."

"So the kids have fun."

"Hey. That voice is mine. Give it back."

"No, it's mine. Give it!"

I'm here because there was an incident
at the pool involving a kid.

Oh, it was no big deal.

The poor kid was walking by the pool,
and this whale of a lady got in his way.

There was a minor collision.

For games and races,

you can use the hotel beach,
where you won't bother our guests.

Got it. It won't happen again.

"No."

No more monkey business.
We almost got caught.

And that kid's mom nearly reported us.

So we need to suck up to him.

To that spoiled brat?

Look who's talking.

Let's see what's
on the schedule for today.

Hugo, what do you want to do?

Arm wrestling.

No. No arm wrestling. It's not a sport...

Of course we can do that.

All right.
Who do you want to take on first?

The fat kid.

- Who are you calling fat?
- You. Who else?

Come on. Sit down.

I'll destroy you.

Ready.

Set.

Go.

I'm the best.

Yep, you are. Here's your voucher.

This sucks.

- Is this how it's gonna be?
- Better get used to it.

Ready, set, go!

Go, Gustavito!

All right!

And the winner is Hugo!

Now let's play tug-of-war.

The first team
to pull the rope to their side wins.

Laura, you should be on Hugo's team.

No way I'm helping that brat.

Either you join his team or let him win.
I know how competitive you are.

Ready, set, go!

Come on!

Pull harder!

Hooray!

Whoo-hoo!

Laura, enough.

A voucher will be enough.

All right!

If you want me to put in a good word
for you with my mom,

you'd better keep me happy.

- You're so corrupt.
- Me?

You're a common criminal,
like Mauro, who's a candy dealer.

Mauro's a candy dealer?

I need to have a talk with him.

Don't bother.
I doubt he'd cut you in on his business.

How about a rematch?

You're going too far, Óscar.

Yeah? Here's the monster's mother now.
I bet she wants to apologize.

- Who gave my son all this ice cream?
- It was his prize. He deserved it.

You deserve to be reported.
Do you want him to get sick?

It's his fault.

Félix, even if the kid wins every game,
you can't give him all those vouchers.

Don't try to pin this on your colleague.

My son told me
it was the fat guy with white hair.

If you don't like how we run the group,
take care of him yourself.

No. I'll go to the manager
and ask her to fire you

and find someone who can do the job.

- Félix, do something!
- Like what?

Go apologize to her.

Wait! Just a second!

Please, give us another chance.

We were just trying
to be nice to your son.

He wasn't enjoying himself
or connecting with the other kids.

Does he seem upset?

More like angry at the world.

He's been like that
since his father and I split up.

I see. I just went through the same thing.

Though my daughter seems fine for now.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Not that your daughter is fine.
About your divorce.

We're just separated.

Once my wife reconsiders,
we'll get back together.

Where's your wife?

At home, thinking it over.

She's seeing a psychologist.

Then there's hope, right?

I'd never go back to my ex.
He cheated on me.

Oh, no way.

You're doing the right thing, ma'am.
I would never forgive that.

Don't call me ma'am.
We're around the same age.

Look, because of you,
I'll give you both another chance.

Just make sure my son enjoys himself
but without all the ice cream.

Sure. I'll keep updated on his progress.

Thanks.

Thank you.

- Did you work it out?
- Yes.

See? I told you she's into you.

No, she not.

She just feels sorry for me
because my wife left me.

Her ex cheated on her too.

Of course.

She's tired of suave, handsome guys.
That's why she doesn't like me.

Now she wants a vulnerable wreck.
A sensitive guy.

This is a first for you.
So make the most of it.

No way. I just need to wait
for my wife to come to her senses.

At least now I don't have to suck up
to her son anymore.

He's in for a reality check.
Oh, I can't wait.

Hugo, want to crush that kid again?

Sure. This time,
I'll even do it with my bad arm.

Pulverize him.

Ready, set, begin!

You animal! That was my bad arm.

I'm telling my mom.

Bravo. Nice job, son.

What did you call him?

I don't know what I called him, son.

Gustavito, son, don't pick your nose.

Félix, son, wipe that dumb look
off your face.

Óscar, the things you say… son.

You should've seen your face
when I called you "son."

It's the first time you ever have.

Come on, son. It can't be the first.

Is he mocking us?

You don't fool me. Cristóbal's your son.

Cristóbal, my son?
Please. We don't look alike at all.

If he isn't,
you won't care if I tell the manager.

You can't do that.

They'd say you're an accomplice
because you've kept quiet.

And they'd throw you in jail.

- Minors can't go to jail.
- That's what you think.

They lock you up at 18 and add up
the years they had to wait for you.

At 18, I'm gonna be tired of life
and won't care.

If you want me to keep quiet,
take us to Super Splash tomorrow.

The water park? No way!
I'm fed up with all this blackmail!

Oh, look. There's the manager now.
She'll be interested in this.

You don't have it in you.

Watch me.

What's he doing?

He's gonna tell her.

What did you do? Stop him.

Relax. He's bluffing.

Sure, bluffing.

That kid's a criminal.
He's got nothing to lose.

Nothing fazes him. Oh no.

Mauro just told me. I can't believe it.

It isn't true.

So you're not taking them
to Super Splash tomorrow?

Yes. Of course we are.

He happened to find out.

We didn't want to spoil the surprise
for the rest of them.

I'm impressed.
When I saw how old you were,

I didn't think you'd have
this kind of energy.

Keep it up.

I'd rather have you two in my pocket
than rat you out.

For now.

Did you have to dress like that, Félix?
You're embarrassing us.

I told you I have sensitive skin.

I can't be in swim trunks
at a water park all day long.

Do you want me to disintegrate
like a vampire in front of the kids?

Yeah!

I'll have the last laugh
when you all get athlete's foot.

There's the waterslide. Get in line, kids.

- Kamikaze!
- No!

No. I'm not going down that.

Come on, Félix. It's just a tiny slide.

It's incredibly dangerous.
Nobody should go down it.

Besides, I suffer from vertigo.

That too?

Want me to put you out of your misery?
You've got everything.

I have everything to make up
for you having nothing.

No shame, no sense of responsibility,
no common sense.

Okay, well, I bet when the shrink
is with your wife,

he pounces on her from higher than that.

Kamikaze!

Come on, Félix! Do it! Don't be a chicken!

The kids should go first.

I don't believe it. Not even this one?

- Give him a push!
- Help him!

No!

SIX HOURS AND 28 SLIDES LATER

Oh no! We're missing a kid.

Just one? We're getting better at this.

I'm being serious. We lost a kid.

Jesus, Félix. Always so negative.

Just think about all the kids
we haven't lost.

You're a real buzzkill, you know?

The missing kid is your son.

- Really?
- Yeah. Great, right?

Well, yeah. It's lucky we lost the one kid
no parent is gonna miss.

- Wonderful.
- That's the spirit.

It's not hard to look on the bright side.
I'll fix your perspective in no time.

We gotta find him!

And we will.
He must be stuck in one of the slides.

I didn't get lost.

I was at the gift shop
getting you a souvenir cap.

Sorry I disappointed you.

How are you? Yesterday was intense,
but we had a great time.

Okay, not great,
but we ended the day safe and sound.

Maybe not safe, but at least sound.

Gustavito, it's no one's fault
that on the last slide,

you put your leg where it didn't belong.

Where's Félix?

Félix? Felix is…

I can't move. My muscles must've spasmed
after the slides yesterday.

Leave without me.

Nice. I wanna spend the day
lounging around, doing nothing too.

So today, it's just us.

Which is why we'll do
the best activity there is.

A treasure hunt!

I hid the treasure
somewhere in this hotel.

You can find it
following the clues I left.

I can only tell you the first clue for now

Is where they prepare your chow!

And the hunt starts… now!

Off you go.

What are you doing here?

Over here!

You can't be here.

- I'm going to talk to your parents!
- What does it say?

"This clue gives you a chance
To find the next one, where you dance"

The next one's where we dance?

Of course! The dance floor.

- To the nightclub!
- Come on!

There it is!

There! Get it!

- Grab it!
- Read it. See what it says.

"Here's a clue to float your boat"

"It's made of sand and has a moat"

Made of sand?

- Sandcastles!
- That's it! To the beach!

Let's go.

Come on.

No! My sandcastle! What are you doing?

What the heck?

Over here! I found it!

"You're almost ready to fly
Since the treasure is nearby"

"Think about it, you're almost there
Picture bubbles in a square"

"Bubbles in a square"?

"Bubbles in a square"?

The jacuzzi!

The jacuzzi!

All right!

Good job, kids. You found me.
And it only took you two hours.

Tell me you're not the treasure.

You better be sitting on it.

The clues didn't say the treasure
was under a fat guy.

Where's the treasure?

It's in your hearts.

It's the joy you felt
when you hunted for it.

That's the real treasure.

This doesn't end here.
Vengeance is a dish best served cold.

Silver Eagle here.

Félix, you have to get here now.
I think my dad's in trouble.

What? I'm on my way.

- He's talking to a man on a deck chair.
- Good.

Keep a lookout.
Let us know if he's coming.

I wanted to rat them out.

If we do that, the fun is over.

So don't tell on them,

or we'll report your candy business,
and you'll be finished.

On vacation?

No, I work here. I'm the hotel comedian.

- Nice. Have you been doing it for long?
- No. Tonight's my first show.

Ah. That's why you seem nervous.

Yeah. I'm actually an electrician.

I lost my job,
and my brother-in-law found me this gig.

But don't tell anybody.

Oh wow. No, I won't tell,
but they're so unprofessional.

Rampant nepotism and giving jobs
to unqualified people.

What are you doing, lounging here?

Feeling better?
This is the hotel comedian.

Nice to meet you. Where are the kids?

Relax. They're happy as can be,
doing arts and crafts.

You left them alone,
playing with scissors?

I've gotta run.

I still have to memorize
my set for tonight.

Lucky you. What a life you have.

Now, you have a real job,
not this hell of entertaining kids.

Don't worry. You'll do great.
People in the audience are like kids.

Show them who's boss.

If they smell fear, it's game over.

The other one's coming!

What are you doing with this?

It's very dangerous!

Kids, put down your scissors.

Just a minute. We're almost done.

I said put down the scissors.

And put your hands up
where I can see them.

Just a minute. I need one more letter.

I said hands up. Now.

Get out.

So unfair.

Get a move on, Gustavito.

No!

No, Gustavito. I wasn't gonna shoot you.
It's a joke. It's made of plastic.

Let's go.

Put them on him.

I'M A BUTTHEAD

- What's that for?
- What a day!

I even shot Gustavito in the eye.

Why do you always focus on the negative?
He doesn't have that twitch anymore.

Put some cream on my back.
I fell asleep in the sun, and it itches.

- I think I got a sunburn.
- How about that.

You made fun of me,
and now you want my cream.

I'm not sleeping in the tub.

Move over. Make some room.

You're a bit down in the dumps, huh?
We could go to the stand-up show.

- That'll cheer you up.
- But we can't leave the kids here.

You're right. We can't leave them.

- Kids, wake up!
- What are you doing?

There's a great show tonight.
Let's go and have fun.

- Hey.
- What are you doing?

Kids, sit over there where we can see you.

I'll wish the comedian luck.
The poor guy was nervous.

Okay.

- Hi.
- Hi. How's it going?

Good. It's odd seeing you
without the kids.

I know, right?

My mom's babysitting.
I needed to have some fun.

Óscar said the same to me.
That I need to get out and enjoy myself.

Enjoy the show. I'm gonna find a table.

Why don't you sit with us?
That is, if you don't mind Óscar.

Okay. And we can clear the air.
Laughter always helps, right?

I'm not sure if I'll laugh much.

I'm not a big fan of stand-up.
I'm more into comedy films.

By Billy Wilder?

Yes! Preston Sturges, Vincente Minnelli,

Stanley Donen, Howard Hawks,
Ernst Lubitsch…

You like classic films?

I love them.

Amazing. My ex could only rattle off
names of soccer players like that.

Poor kids.

Yeah, poor things.

Some parents don't deserve their kids.

Best of luck. You've got a packed house.

- Packed? What do you mean?
- To the rafters.

If you keep telling me this stuff,
I'll be too nervous to perform.

It'll be a piece of cake.
People on vacation want to laugh.

Sure, but what if they don't laugh?
I'm screwed.

Calm down. It'll be fine.

Hold on. I don't feel so well.

I gotta run to the bathroom.

Excuse me.

But…

BATHROOM

- What's wrong?
- He locked himself in there.

Go entertain them until he comes out.

- Me? No, I can't.
- Aren't you staff?

- But I work with kids, not adults.
- It's not that different.

Get out there, or you're both fired.

Ever since,
I can't seem to get back on my feet.

But you came here to have fun,
and I'm ruining your night.

No, feel free to get it off your chest.

It gives me hope to see
there are still loyal, sensitive men,

capable of talking
and expressing their feelings.

It's fantastic.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

What's he doing?

Don't be alarmed.
I'm not the comedian. Far from it.

- In fact, I'm an accountant.
- What?

Really. Last month, I was fired
from my company after 30 years.

"Downsizing," my boss said.

"Downsizing"? I wish
I could cut that jerk down to size.

Why are they laughing?
It's a terrible joke.

I think it's great.

Now, without further delay…

Speaking about delays,
how about that buffet line?

What a mess. I've had yogurt expire
while I was waiting.

I've had time to solve Sudoku puzzles.
I've even renewed my driver's license.

I've gone for breakfast
and walked out after lunch.

My work piles up while I'm there.

And I've realized people at the buffet
become selfish.

They only care about getting their stuff.
Except for me.

I go to get my stuff.

Then the kids pile food on their plates.

The other day, I saw a boy with 30 pies.

His mom said, "You're gonna explode."
So he said, "Take cover."

Thank you, everybody!

Well, that's it, then. Fired.

What? The audience loved it.

The other guy is fired.
You're the new hotel comedian.

Me? No way. I can't be with the kids
all day and perform at night.

You wouldn't have to work with the kids.

Do you think Félix
could handle them by himself?

Without me? No way.

You'd earn three times as much
and have your own room in the guest wing.

Well, let's see.

If I have the whole day
to come up with jokes

and my own room, it's a different story.

Félix can handle the kids.

Just between us, it's a one-person job.

With that group of kids,
one staff member is plenty.

Perfect.

Yes!

- So, how was it? Hi.
- Hi.

Why did you do the show?

The comedian chickened out.
But guess what.

I'm replacing him.

How will you work with the kids all day
and perform at night?

Well, you won't believe this.

- I'm done with the kids.
- What?

Can you keep it down? I'm famous now.

Yeah. Let's talk later, back in our room.

Sorry. I forgot the best part.

The room's all yours now.

I'm moving to a private room
in the guest wing.

How can you leave me alone with all the…?

With all the plans we had?

Come on. What plans did we have? To sleep?

That reminds me, you should head to bed.
Tomorrow's the dolphin cruise.

It's gonna be an exhausting day.

Waiter, a whiskey here.

- Mei, Mauro…
- Coming.

Come on, kids.

Hello.

Are you taking a gamble
and leaving him with me?

No, I'm coming with you.

Did you think
I'd leave you all on your own?

- I could use the help.
- Great. Should I grab the crutches?

Yeah. Come on, Gustavito. Let's go.

Dolphins!

Quiet down, please!

Stop the bus!

What's wrong?

I forgot my water wings!
We need to go back!

You won't need them.

I will! I want to swim with the dolphins!

You can't. We're just gonna see them.

Are we there yet? How much longer?

Carmen, we just left.
I'm counting on you to behave yourself.

Yes, Dad.

Yes, Dad…

Dad would have been so happy
if he were still alive

because he loved dolphins.

That's why I'm so excited.
It'll be like being with him again.

Poor girl. Her dad died. Did you hear?

Yeah, thank God.

Thank God we're seeing the dolphins.
That'll make her feel better.

It must be hard to spend the day with kids
and not have your daughter with you.

Yeah. I miss her very much.

Hurry up, Gustavito!

Come on, kids. Leave your backpacks there.

- Wow. Cool. A Viking ship.
- Look. The captain has a parrot.

Gustavito, since you can barely walk,

you can sit here
and keep an eye on the backpacks.

Come on, Félix. The kid only has
one eye to see the dolphins,

and you want him to watch the backpacks.

Sorry. My bad.

I'm around Óscar so much,
I'm starting to act like him.

Wow. This is moving a lot.

Kids, stop rocking the boat!

If we all jump at the same time,
maybe we'll sink it.

Yeah!

I wanna swim with the dolphins!

Stay still, kids!

Please!

I'm feeling seasick,
and we haven't even left the dock.

Don't worry. It's worse
when the boat's tied up.

Once we set sail and you feel the breeze,
you'll be all better.

No! You'll scare the dolphins away!

We'll stop here
to see if we spot the dolphins.

There's one there!

You sure?

Yeah, I saw it as clearly
as the unicorn from the plane.

There's another one there!

Look, Dad!

Poor thing.
She's talking to her dad in heaven.

I'm sure your father
can see them, sweetie.

I don't think so.
Her father can't see a thing.

Today's the day!

- Félix!
- I'm gonna swim with the dolphins!

- Laura!
- One, two, and…

- Are you nuts? You're gonna fall!
- Let go of me!

- Get down! Laura!
- Let go!

You scared me! You could've been hurt.

I'm disappointed in you.
Wait till your father hears about this.

My father… couldn't care less
what happens to us.

That's not true, Laura.

Your father cares… a lot.

Buddy, get me another caipirinha.

Great show yesterday.

Thanks. There's another one tonight.
See you there.

- Yes?
- Hey, man.

Can you tell me
what room that couple's in?

Oh, I shouldn't, but you're so funny.

Funny how being funny
works to my advantage, huh?

See what I mean? Room 423.

Thanks, pal.

Hi there. I need to know something.

When are the guests in room 423 leaving?

I shouldn't say, but you're so funny.

It's a two-day stay.
They're leaving tomorrow.

Great. Let's see
how we get out of this mess.

By the way,
would you like to see my new room later?

You shouldn't, but I'm so funny.

It's his fault
we didn't get to see the dolphins.

I know.

The little orphan's right.
I do everything wrong.

I ruined the dolphin cruise.

Hey. It's not your fault.

Well, I vomited all around the boat.

I think you're doing a great job,
but maybe that's just because I like you.

You're all red.

- I'm just not used to...
- No. You got really sunburned.

I can't be in the sun.

Besides, I lent Óscar my cream,
and he used it all up.

Just look at you.

Sorry. I gotta take this.
It could be my wife.

- Sure.
- It's Óscar.

Yeah?

No way.

Okay.

What happened?
Now you're back to being pale.

My wife showed up at the hotel.

But that's great, right?

You wanted her back.
If she came all the way here…

I haven't told you the whole truth.

She's here with her boyfriend.

She cheated on me, but I don't have
as much self-respect as you.

Well, okay. I understand.

You were together a long time.
You have a kid.

- Did she bring her?
- No. I did.

What?

I also lied to you about that.
Carmen is my daughter.

What?

I'm hiding her in my room.

Does your wife know?

No. She thinks we're on vacation.

If she finds out,
I could lose shared custody.

- Félix.
- Not now, Cristóbal.

It's strange.

Five minutes ago,
I just wanted was my wife back,

and now I'd be content
with not losing my child.

She didn't say she was coming?

Well, now I see I have three missed calls.

I was having such a good time with you,
I wasn't checking my phone.

- Why'd she have to call today?
- How long are they staying?

Félix!

Not now, Cristóbal.

According to Óscar, just two days.

He was gonna warn the hotel staff
not to tell her that I'm an employee.

- Félix!
- What is it, Cristóbal?

We left Gustavito behind.

Glasses!

Come on, Gustavito. You're with us now.

It was just a scare, huh?
Come on. Cheer him up, kids!

Gustavito!

What else could go wrong today?

Relax. I have a plan
for you to keep your daughter,

your job, and even to get your wife back.

I can't wait to hear it.

Great. Here's the plan.

Move to Óscar's room for two days.

He'll go back
to your room in the staff area.

Yeah, but how do I explain
being surrounded by kids all day?

She'll think you're Mr. Popularity.

Right. What about my uniform?
It has my job title on it.

- Wear a sweatshirt over it.
- In this heat?

- It's better than her finding out.
- True. You're right.

It seems impossible to pull off.

No, nothing's impossible.

Well, yeah.
It's impossible to be redder than you.

Want to hear the rest of the plan?

Yes. Mostly the part
where I get my wife back.

- That's where I come in.
- Really?

You'd hook up with her boyfriend for me?

Come on.
You really know nothing about women.

You're the one I should hook up with.

I mean, she needs to think you're with me.

Nothing works like seeing
the man you dumped with someone new.

Right. But for that to work,
the other woman should be… stunning.

Of course! Stunning like you!

JOIN OUR ADVENTURE

Look, this is my wife.

You should leave first
and tell us if this lady is in the lobby.

No, he can't go. She knows him.

He's Óscar's son.

Óscar's son?

What else are you hiding?

- Nothing else. I swear.
- Hey!

Well, yes, she's also Óscar's,
but there are no more.

Shall I go, then?

Yeah, go on.

Come on, kids!

- I want to go to the beach.
- I'm hungry.

- Let's go.
- Come on.

Why are you here? We'll get caught.

Go to the staff area room
with your kids until my wife leaves.

We'll stay here, so she'll believe
we are guests at the hotel.

No, you can't do this to me.
I'm expecting company.

Forget that! Grab your things
and go back to the room!

And put this on.

She can't see you or the kids.

- Why can't I pretend to be a guest?
- In which room? This one's mine now.

My wife better not find out,
or she could bust us.

That's her.

Cristina! Yes, I saw three calls from you,

but we were on a trip.
I was about to call you.

Surprise! We're here!

What? Really?

What a surprise!

Are you in your room?

- Yes.
- What number? We'll head up.

- 442.
- Great. We're on our way.

Hurry. Get out.

And be careful you don't cross paths
in the elevator.

Come on, kids.

Come on, let's go. Don't make a scene.

- 443.
- There.

- Mom!
- Sweetie!

- Carmen!
- Having a good time?

Yeah. How come you came just
for a couple of days?

Our cruise made a stop here,
and I was dying to see Carmen.

So we decided to surprise you.

We thought it'd be good
to spend time with her

so she can see we're a new kind of family,

the four of us!

The five of us.

Huh?

Yeah. I'm with someone.

Really?

Yes. I met her at the hotel.
She has a kid too.

Let's all have dinner together.

But not at the hotel.

We should go to a restaurant,
to try the local cuisine.

Perfect! Group hug!

See you in the lobby at 9:00.

Great. Wonderful.

Patricia, if you really meant it
about pretending to be my girlfriend,

come have dinner
with me, my wife, and her boyfriend.

Great.

Carmen, get changed.

THE LAMB RESTAURANT

- All right.
- Okay.

I hope it isn't spicy.

- I can't do spicy.
- There's a lot you can't do.

Yummy.

Right? But he's all mine.

Relax. He's all yours.
I'm good with Félix.

Why would you sunbathe,
knowing how easily you burn?

Well, we made love all night,

and then he fell asleep
in the sun for three hours.

Right. We don't even plan
to leave our room. Right, tiger?

Let's get going so we can catch
the stand-up show. I heard it's funny.

No. The guy's terrible.
Totally not worth it.

Come on, kids. Get up. It's showtime!

Dad, we're so sleepy.

Sleepy? Don't you dare fall asleep
at the table.

You'll make me look bad.
You have to laugh and clap like crazy.

You're making us go when we're this tired?

What kind of father do you think I am?

I'll give you coffee first.

Kidding. You can sleep backstage.
Grab some blankets.

There you go. Get cozy until Papa's done.

Unbelievable.

This is outrageous.

Hi, Félix. You're coming here?

Can't you stop them? Yeah, I get it.
I'm getting more famous by the day.

I'm just so funny.

Yeah, I can speak fast,

but not fast enough
to do the show in ten minutes.

I'll see what I can do.

Stay there. Go to sleep.

Things moved fast between you two, huh?

Yeah. There was an instant attraction.

- Yeah.
- It can't be easy seeing us together.

No, it's fine.

I'm glad you're happy with him.

There should be an app,
like the ones for selling used clothes,

to give the husbands we don't want anymore
to people who can use them.

Yeah.

Hurry up, or we'll miss the show.

- That'd be fine.
- This way.

It's terrible. We can walk slowly, really.
You should listen to me.

Hey. You know, if you need to talk
to get over the breakup,

you can call me anytime.

If I don't pick up, we might be…

Well, you know.

But as soon as I'm done,
I'll call you back.

Thanks a lot.

"Shyeh-shyeh" is "thanks" in Chinese.

And you may ask me, "Is that right?"
Well, yup. It "shyure" is.

We'll take a break
so you can order drinks.

- You have something in your eye.
- Get off. Quit it.

Did you see the comedian?
He looked just like Óscar.

Like Óscar? No way!

Yeah, I know it makes no sense.
But it looked like him.

Take a look when he comes out.

Come on, kids.
The show's over. We're leaving. Kids?

"To find the treasure
Here's your only clue"

"Whether you find their hiding place
Is up to you"

Laura. Cristóbal.

I hope Óscar doesn't come back out.

It's him. Óscar, where are you?

Here, backstage.

- I'm panicking.
- What's up?

My kids ran away, and I can't find them.

I'll have to come clean
and get everyone to help me look.

Wait, don't get ahead of yourself.
There must be something we can do.

Yes, prove they're what matters most to me
and that I'd do anything for them.

Wait, no...

What…?

Check it out, smartypants. It was him.

Fine, it's him.

He asked me to keep his secret.
He didn't want his ex to know.

The poor guy was fired.

It's why I chose this hotel.

To show up night after night
and laugh at his jokes,

so he would not lose this job as well.

I told you. He's bad.

Good evening, ladies and gents.

I have something to say.
You won't find it funny.

Two years ago, I got divorced,
and then I was laid off by my company.

Yeah, he is bad.

I'm not a great dad,
but I had to take care of them this month.

In order to take this job
and be with them,

I've been hiding them at the hotel.

I'm copping up to this
because they got fed up and ran away.

I've been hiding them since we got here,
and now I need your help to find them.

They're all that matters to me.

I know I've been terrible, but this month,
I've learned an important lesson.

And it's…

I'M A BUTTHEAD

Oh, kids!

Have you been there all this time?

Why didn't you come out
when you saw I was upset?

For once, you were worried.

We just wanted
to enjoy it a little longer.

But it got too cringey.

Sweetie, was I that obnoxious
and cheesy when we were happy?

Yeah, Daddy. Yeah.

- Group hug.
- Hands off!

Unbelievable.

He's been hiding his kids all this time?

He should lose custody over this.

Of course. It's outrageous.

We're off to bed.

Let's meet for breakfast at the buffet.
I'll take Carmen. I missed her.

Perfect. I can leave Hugo with my mother,
so you and I can sleep together too.

Of course. That's nice.

Yeah.

You think she's jealous?

Tomorrow she'll ask you
to get back together.

That's great.

Great.

Nice.

Yep.

Hey. Good morning.

How's it going?

What's with the shades?

Well, I'm not supposed to eat
at the guest buffet.

If the manager sees me, we're toast.

Although, after Óscar's confession,
our days at the hotel are numbered.

That's for sure.

If the kids keep tailing you,
they'll know it's you.

Kids, move along. Scram.

Scram.

He's so popular with the kids.

He's got more of a knack than you, huh?

You really like him, huh?

Yeah.

Wow. Maybe there's something in him
I didn't see.

Guys, leave Félix alone.
Come with me. You gotta see this.

- Where are we going?
- What's going on?

Well…

Do you like popcorn? Here.

Stop it.

We're here to shut you down.

I'm gonna take all the candy I want.

My mother's a guest at the hotel now.

Yeah, but your mom got here yesterday.

And I can still tell the manager
who your dad is

and where you've been hiding
all this time.

You wouldn't dare.

Oh, really?

Watch me.

I have juicy intel.

What do I get if I tell you that Carmen
is Félix's daughter

and he's had her hidden
in the hotel all this time?

A smack, that's what.

Don't be a tattletale.
Besides, I already knew.

You're hurting me, Mom!

Don't call me "Mom"!

Do you expect me to fire them?
The fat guy makes people laugh.

And the other one is the only person
I have to watch all you damn kids.

So if you open your mouth,
I'll send you to stay with your dad.

Go on. Scram.

What a loser.

Go on. Grab some candy. We'll allow it.

Bye, sweetie.

- Enjoy the rest of your vacation.
- Okay.

I love you.

I love you too, Mommy.

Run along.

And we'll

see each other very soon back at home.

Okay. Mention that to Luis.

Okay.

- Bye, Patricia.
- Bye.

All right. You're going back.

Yeah. Of course.

We're not gonna stay here forever.

No, I meant going back to her.

- What? No.
- No?

- No.
- Oh, okay.

You were flirting,
and you told her to talk to Luis.

- Flirting?
- Yeah.

You know what she was telling me?
It's funny.

She told me to not let you get away.
She said you have feelings for me.

- She said that?
- Yeah.

That means your acting was amazing.
She bought the whole thing.

And I thank you,
even if it didn't work out.

I feel for you.

For our plan not working?

No. I do have feelings for you.

Really?

Even if it didn't work out.

Wait. Don't you wanna know
what I said when she told me?

- I think she has feelings for you.
- Yeah?

I think I'm gonna need therapy

because I'm crazy about her.

That's why I told her to talk to Luis.
Since he's a therapist.

Laura, do you want to swap seats
so you can see the unicorns?

No, thanks. I want to be closer to Dad.

Besides, unicorns aren't real.

You should talk to him
so he stops embarrassing himself.

Yeah.

See how well
they're getting along, sweetie?

Dad, I know what you're getting at.

Fine.

Anyway, having a brother isn't so bad.

That was some summer vacation.

But I don't know what we're gonna do now.

My friend, the secret to life
is to improvise as you go.

Sir, we're about to take off.

Yeah, right? I think so too.

- As of now, my life will take off.
- No, I need you to fasten your seatbelt.

Oh, yeah, sorry.

And this system, here…

Subtitle translation by:
Soledad Etchemendy, Meredith Cannella

My company lays me off after 30 years.

My boss comes up to me,
and he says, "We're downsizing."

And I say, "Downsizing?"

"I'll cut you down to size!"

Got it.

Okay.

Thank you.

Good night.

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