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1
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Red Nose Day Actually!
2
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God Only Knows by The Beach Boys.
3
00:00:12,293 --> 00:00:15,793
♪ God only knows what I'd be without you. ♪
4
00:00:25,783 --> 00:00:26,987
DOORBELL RINGS.
5
00:00:27,012 --> 00:00:30,512
I'll get it.
6
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:38,808
Who is it?
7
00:00:38,833 --> 00:00:43,478
He's not going to believe that, it's March.
8
00:00:45,943 --> 00:00:47,558
They're raising money for Red Nose Day.
9
00:00:47,583 --> 00:00:48,678
Oh, not again.
10
00:00:48,703 --> 00:00:51,317
Give them a quid and tell
them to bugger off.
11
00:00:52,193 --> 00:00:54,398
Silent Night.
12
00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:19,247
Oh, that's a nice idea.
13
00:01:26,142 --> 00:01:28,077
Yes, thank you, we're very happy.
14
00:01:38,503 --> 00:01:40,608
How are you?
15
00:02:05,913 --> 00:02:08,918
Do you like the beard?
16
00:02:12,863 --> 00:02:16,358
I don't like it either!
17
00:02:24,993 --> 00:02:28,408
And tomorrow
is Red Nose Day and we hope everyone
18
00:02:28,433 --> 00:02:31,278
will be giving a little cash
to this great cause.
19
00:02:31,303 --> 00:02:33,608
Maybe even our Prime Minister
himself, back in Number Ten
20
00:02:33,633 --> 00:02:37,528
after five years away.
21
00:02:37,553 --> 00:02:40,438
Here's a little song
to loosen your loose change.
22
00:02:40,902 --> 00:02:43,408
Hotline Bling by Drake.
23
00:02:43,433 --> 00:02:45,207
♪ Yeah. ♪
24
00:02:45,232 --> 00:02:49,688
♪ You used to call me on my cell phone. ♪
25
00:02:49,713 --> 00:02:52,207
♪ Late night when you need my love. ♪
26
00:02:52,232 --> 00:02:55,968
♪ Call me on my cell phone. ♪
27
00:02:55,993 --> 00:02:59,488
♪ Late night when you need my love. ♪
28
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:03,568
♪ And I know when that hotline bling. ♪
29
00:03:03,593 --> 00:03:07,438
♪ That can only mean one thing. ♪
30
00:03:07,463 --> 00:03:10,798
♪ I know when that hotline bling. ♪
31
00:03:10,823 --> 00:03:12,928
♪ That can only mean one thing. ♪
32
00:03:12,953 --> 00:03:14,608
♪ Ever since I left the city. ♪
33
00:03:14,633 --> 00:03:19,518
♪ You got a reputation for yourself now. ♪
34
00:03:19,543 --> 00:03:25,077
♪ Everybody knows and I feel left out... ♪
35
00:03:25,102 --> 00:03:26,798
Whoa!
36
00:03:26,823 --> 00:03:28,688
♪ Ever since I left the city... ♪
37
00:03:28,713 --> 00:03:30,768
Ah!
38
00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:35,438
Ow.
39
00:03:35,463 --> 00:03:36,518
That really hurts.
40
00:03:36,543 --> 00:03:37,968
It's very undignified.
41
00:03:37,993 --> 00:03:41,568
♪ You started wearing ♪
♪ less and goin' out more. ♪
42
00:03:41,593 --> 00:03:45,288
♪ Glasses of champagne ♪
♪ out on the dance floor. ♪
43
00:03:45,313 --> 00:03:48,327
♪ Hangin' with some girls ♪
♪ I've never seen before. ♪
44
00:03:48,352 --> 00:03:50,848
Oh, Lord.
45
00:03:50,873 --> 00:03:53,877
How many times have I told you
not to dance down the stairs?
46
00:03:53,902 --> 00:03:55,568
Once or twice, once or twice.
47
00:03:55,593 --> 00:03:56,518
Was it Hotline Bling again?
48
00:03:56,543 --> 00:03:57,978
Yes, I'm afraid it was.
49
00:03:58,003 --> 00:04:00,877
When I hear that hotline bling,
that can only mean one thing.
50
00:04:00,902 --> 00:04:02,978
I assume that cup of tea is for me.
51
00:04:03,003 --> 00:04:04,048
No.
52
00:04:04,073 --> 00:04:05,048
You've changed.
53
00:04:05,073 --> 00:04:06,048
I haven't.
54
00:04:06,073 --> 00:04:06,978
I'll make you one.
55
00:04:07,003 --> 00:04:09,207
Come on.
56
00:04:09,463 --> 00:04:10,618
Come on.
57
00:04:10,643 --> 00:04:12,688
I liked it best when you worked for me.
58
00:04:12,713 --> 00:04:13,928
You work for me, really.
59
00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:14,877
Tell the truth.
60
00:04:14,902 --> 00:04:16,488
I work for the nation...
61
00:04:16,513 --> 00:04:21,648
So, Billy Mack, welcome
back to the airwaves.
62
00:04:21,673 --> 00:04:24,978
Billy, you have released a charity
single, and it's a cover version
63
00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:27,518
of the ZZ Top classic
Gimme All Your Lovin'.
64
00:04:27,543 --> 00:04:34,808
Yes, except we've changed
the word "lovin"' to "money".
65
00:04:34,833 --> 00:04:36,058
But seriously, Red Nose Day,
66
00:04:36,083 --> 00:04:38,007
a wonderful charity supporting children.
67
00:04:38,032 --> 00:04:40,698
You must like kids.
68
00:04:40,723 --> 00:04:43,488
No, the truth is, I like the kids
who buy my records.
69
00:04:43,513 --> 00:04:46,418
I can't stand the other ones.
70
00:04:46,443 --> 00:04:49,168
Even you must have noted
how short and selfish they are.
71
00:04:49,193 --> 00:04:51,127
Billy, why a charity record?
72
00:04:51,152 --> 00:04:52,957
Well, come on, Mikey!
73
00:04:52,982 --> 00:04:54,928
It must be pretty obvious.
74
00:04:54,953 --> 00:04:58,007
I've got an autobiography coming
out and I need a bit of publicity.
75
00:04:58,032 --> 00:04:59,087
Ah, yes, the book.
76
00:04:59,112 --> 00:05:01,448
It's called Macknificent.
77
00:05:01,473 --> 00:05:02,448
Yeah.
78
00:05:02,473 --> 00:05:03,698
Are you proud of it?
79
00:05:03,723 --> 00:05:04,648
I've no idea.
80
00:05:04,673 --> 00:05:06,058
I haven't read it, have you?
81
00:05:06,083 --> 00:05:07,168
Yes.
82
00:05:07,193 --> 00:05:08,137
Poor bugger.
83
00:05:08,162 --> 00:05:09,058
What's it like?
84
00:05:09,083 --> 00:05:10,058
It's pretty good, actually.
85
00:05:10,083 --> 00:05:11,007
Oh, W!
86
00:05:11,032 --> 00:05:12,137
That's a relief.
87
00:05:12,162 --> 00:05:15,698
Billy, I see you haven't got
your manager with you today.
88
00:05:15,723 --> 00:05:19,007
Tell me, has he finally left you
after you being so rude about him?
89
00:05:19,032 --> 00:05:22,648
Not really, Mike.
90
00:05:22,673 --> 00:05:26,957
He was a big man, with a big heart.
91
00:05:26,982 --> 00:05:31,498
Big heart attack.
92
00:05:31,523 --> 00:05:35,808
Big coffin.
93
00:05:35,833 --> 00:05:38,217
It's a big hole in my life.
94
00:05:38,242 --> 00:05:41,288
Wow.
95
00:05:41,313 --> 00:05:42,528
Thank you for that, Billy.
96
00:05:42,553 --> 00:05:43,928
For what?
97
00:05:43,953 --> 00:05:46,608
Well, for giving an honest
answer to a question.
98
00:05:46,633 --> 00:05:50,778
That never happens here at Radio Watford.
99
00:05:50,803 --> 00:05:53,418
Ask me anything you like,
I'll tell you the truth.
100
00:05:53,443 --> 00:05:56,778
OK, I probably asked you this
last time you were here,
101
00:05:56,803 --> 00:05:58,578
but best shag you ever had?
102
00:05:58,603 --> 00:06:00,967
Ooh, that's a tough one.
103
00:06:00,992 --> 00:06:04,217
I mean, look.
104
00:06:04,242 --> 00:06:07,248
It's definitely one of the Kardashians.
105
00:06:07,273 --> 00:06:08,648
But which one, Mike?
106
00:06:08,673 --> 00:06:12,967
Which one?
107
00:06:14,393 --> 00:06:15,938
Excuse me?
108
00:06:15,963 --> 00:06:17,887
Yes, young sir.
109
00:06:17,912 --> 00:06:19,658
Are you looking for anything in particular?
110
00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:21,778
How much is a red nose?
111
00:06:21,803 --> 00:06:23,448
£1.
112
00:06:23,473 --> 00:06:24,528
OK, I'll take one.
113
00:06:24,553 --> 00:06:26,067
Lovely.
114
00:06:26,092 --> 00:06:29,428
Would you like it giftwrapped?
115
00:06:29,453 --> 00:06:30,398
All right.
116
00:06:30,423 --> 00:06:32,788
Excellent.
117
00:06:32,813 --> 00:06:36,708
Let me see.
118
00:06:36,733 --> 00:06:38,638
Could we be quite quick?
119
00:06:38,663 --> 00:06:40,197
Yes, certainly, sir.
120
00:06:40,222 --> 00:06:47,588
It'll be ready in the jiffiest of jiffies.
121
00:07:13,053 --> 00:07:14,278
Oh, I don't need a bag.
122
00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:17,278
Oh, this isn't a bag, sir.
123
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This is so much more than just a bag.
124
00:07:23,503 --> 00:07:25,638
Do you remember the first time I drove you?
125
00:07:25,663 --> 00:07:26,638
Of course!
126
00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:30,838
Yes.
127
00:07:30,863 --> 00:07:33,478
I remember looking at you
and thinking "What a handsome man.
128
00:07:33,503 --> 00:07:35,158
That kind of face never gets old".
129
00:07:35,183 --> 00:07:36,228
Yes.
130
00:07:36,253 --> 00:07:39,798
How right you were.
131
00:07:39,823 --> 00:07:44,197
I wished you could speak Portuguese
so I could tell you how I felt.
132
00:08:16,693 --> 00:08:17,668
OK.
133
00:08:17,693 --> 00:08:19,197
Well, I got most of that.
134
00:08:19,222 --> 00:08:21,028
There was something about central
heating, wasn't there?
135
00:08:21,053 --> 00:08:23,747
And roast potatoes, am I right?
136
00:08:23,772 --> 00:08:25,798
Yes, darling.
137
00:08:25,823 --> 00:08:28,278
By the way, very attractive
turtleneck today.
138
00:08:28,303 --> 00:08:29,918
Oh, yes, thank you.
139
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,207
They're right back in fashion.
140
00:08:31,232 --> 00:08:32,308
Or not.
141
00:08:32,333 --> 00:08:33,388
OK.
142
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:36,207
Here, here, pull in.
143
00:08:36,232 --> 00:08:37,488
In, in, come on.
144
00:08:37,513 --> 00:08:38,997
Hop in.
145
00:08:39,022 --> 00:08:41,798
I passed my exam!
146
00:08:41,823 --> 00:08:43,488
Oh, excellent.
147
00:08:43,513 --> 00:08:44,568
How was your clay?
148
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Strap in.
149
00:08:45,543 --> 00:08:47,518
All right, off we go.
150
00:08:47,543 --> 00:08:49,488
I got picked for the team!
151
00:08:49,513 --> 00:08:50,848
He said my hat's stupid.
152
00:08:50,873 --> 00:08:52,358
My hat's not stupid, is it?
153
00:08:52,383 --> 00:08:54,877
It's a little bit stupid.
154
00:09:13,313 --> 00:09:15,648
That's great!
155
00:09:15,673 --> 00:09:16,928
Yes!
156
00:09:16,953 --> 00:09:19,877
That is great.
157
00:09:19,902 --> 00:09:22,007
Can we have rice with it this time, though?
158
00:09:22,032 --> 00:09:27,108
I'm getting a little tired of stir-fry.
159
00:09:43,032 --> 00:09:48,518
Why not?
160
00:09:48,543 --> 00:09:49,877
And of course, the yoghurt-coated raisins.
161
00:09:49,902 --> 00:09:53,402
Come on!
162
00:09:58,463 --> 00:09:59,398
Almost there.
163
00:09:59,423 --> 00:10:02,728
Almost?!
164
00:10:18,223 --> 00:10:20,877
Dad?
165
00:10:20,902 --> 00:10:23,238
Sam!
166
00:10:23,263 --> 00:10:26,368
What the hell are you doing here?
167
00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:28,288
You're supposed to be in New York!
168
00:10:28,313 --> 00:10:30,518
I know, I thought I'd give
you a surprise visit.
169
00:10:30,543 --> 00:10:34,568
The surprise is, you have
to pay for my flight.
170
00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:35,837
That's OK. My God, you've grown.
171
00:10:35,862 --> 00:10:37,528
No, I'm just wearing high-heeled trainers.
172
00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:39,207
Oh, yeah, so you are.
173
00:10:39,232 --> 00:10:40,877
Come on, sit down, sit down.
174
00:10:40,902 --> 00:10:42,368
How are things?
175
00:10:42,393 --> 00:10:44,318
Good, good.
176
00:10:44,343 --> 00:10:46,007
Now, listen, mister.
177
00:10:46,032 --> 00:10:49,368
I'm worried. You haven't been in touch.
178
00:10:49,393 --> 00:10:52,168
I know, I'm sorry. I've just
had a lot on my mind.
179
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,398
What is it?
180
00:10:53,423 --> 00:10:54,238
Work tough?
181
00:10:54,263 --> 00:10:55,368
Money?
182
00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:57,598
I can help you with money, you know.
I'm loaded.
183
00:10:57,623 --> 00:10:58,558
No.
184
00:10:58,583 --> 00:11:01,728
No, it's, um...
185
00:11:01,753 --> 00:11:03,678
Well, it's more of a love thing, actually.
186
00:11:03,703 --> 00:11:05,398
Oh, here we go again.
187
00:11:05,423 --> 00:11:07,887
What age are you now, 14, 15?
188
00:11:07,912 --> 00:11:09,288
I'm 26.
189
00:11:09,313 --> 00:11:11,168
Exactly.
190
00:11:11,193 --> 00:11:14,478
You should have had this
sorted out ages ago.
191
00:11:14,503 --> 00:11:17,398
As far as I remember,
192
00:11:17,423 --> 00:11:20,648
the only person you've ever
genuinely been in love with
193
00:11:20,673 --> 00:11:22,887
was that cute wee girl,
the singer at school.
194
00:11:22,912 --> 00:11:24,248
You were 12, remember?
195
00:11:24,273 --> 00:11:26,478
Hmm.
196
00:11:26,503 --> 00:11:29,967
That's what's been on my mind.
197
00:11:38,553 --> 00:11:40,398
Joanna!
198
00:11:40,423 --> 00:11:45,578
We met up in New York and, er,
well, that's why we're here.
199
00:11:45,603 --> 00:11:49,608
Sir.
200
00:11:49,633 --> 00:11:57,118
I was wondering if I could ask
for your son's hand in marriage.
201
00:11:58,193 --> 00:12:00,408
Please?
202
00:12:00,433 --> 00:12:03,087
Really?
203
00:12:03,112 --> 00:12:05,558
All you want for Christmas
is this stringbean?
204
00:12:05,583 --> 00:12:08,448
Yeah.
205
00:12:08,782 --> 00:12:10,558
I'll think about it.
206
00:12:10,583 --> 00:12:13,198
Dad?
207
00:12:13,223 --> 00:12:16,837
Come here!
208
00:12:22,073 --> 00:12:24,688
So, is that a yes?
209
00:12:24,713 --> 00:12:27,918
I'm... thinking about it.
210
00:12:39,403 --> 00:12:40,408
Morning.
211
00:12:40,433 --> 00:12:41,967
Good morning.
212
00:12:41,992 --> 00:12:43,198
Yes?
213
00:12:43,223 --> 00:12:45,558
Robert.
214
00:12:45,583 --> 00:12:49,097
Prime Minister, what happened to your arm?
215
00:12:49,122 --> 00:12:51,887
I fell down the stairs
while dancing to Hotline Bling.
216
00:12:51,912 --> 00:12:54,528
I believe it happened
to Palmerston as well.
217
00:12:54,553 --> 00:12:55,967
Any serious questions?
218
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:57,608
Bernard.
219
00:12:57,633 --> 00:13:00,967
Yes, Prime Minister, when you
came to power the first time,
220
00:13:00,992 --> 00:13:02,658
you were very optimistic.
221
00:13:02,683 --> 00:13:05,847
You said that the power
of good could finally win,
222
00:13:05,872 --> 00:13:09,378
that love actually was all around.
223
00:13:09,403 --> 00:13:13,528
14 years later, do you
still feel as upbeat?
224
00:13:13,553 --> 00:13:17,208
Well, um, interesting.
225
00:13:17,233 --> 00:13:20,408
Obviously, times for many people
have got harder and people
226
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:24,208
are nervous and fearful.
227
00:13:24,233 --> 00:13:26,568
And it's not just in politics
that things are tough.
228
00:13:26,593 --> 00:13:28,248
Usain Bolt has run his last Olympics.
229
00:13:28,273 --> 00:13:29,608
The Harry Potter films have finished.
230
00:13:29,633 --> 00:13:30,738
Piers Morgan's still alive.
231
00:13:30,763 --> 00:13:35,408
LAUGHTER.
232
00:13:35,433 --> 00:13:37,608
But, let's look at the other
side of the coin.
233
00:13:37,633 --> 00:13:39,288
Metallica's new album
is an absolute cracker.
234
00:13:39,313 --> 00:13:43,818
And on a deeper level, I'm optimistic.
235
00:13:43,843 --> 00:13:48,538
Wherever you see tragedy,
you see bravery too.
236
00:13:48,563 --> 00:13:52,178
Wherever you see ordinary people in need,
237
00:13:52,203 --> 00:13:56,378
you see extraordinary ordinary
people come to their aid.
238
00:13:56,403 --> 00:14:00,288
Today's Red Nose Day, and people
are giving their hard-earned cash
239
00:14:00,313 --> 00:14:02,767
to people who they'll never
meet, but whose pain and fear
240
00:14:02,792 --> 00:14:07,017
they feel and want to fight.
241
00:14:07,042 --> 00:14:13,928
So it's not just romantic
love which is all around.
242
00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:19,208
Most people still, every day,
everywhere, have enough love
243
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:22,847
in their heart to help
human beings in trouble.
244
00:14:22,872 --> 00:14:25,338
Good's going to win.
245
00:14:25,363 --> 00:14:29,688
I'm actually sure of it.
246
00:14:29,713 --> 00:14:31,048
Yes, next question?
247
00:14:31,073 --> 00:14:36,017
Keir?
248
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:38,258
Prime Minister, what do
you think is the best
249
00:14:38,283 --> 00:14:39,208
Christmas film ever made?
250
00:14:39,233 --> 00:14:40,178
Well, don't be stupid.
251
00:14:40,203 --> 00:14:41,408
Everyone knows it's Elf.
252
00:14:41,433 --> 00:14:48,258
Yeah, Tommy?
16088
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