Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:04,761
- Who ordered this?
2
00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:06,296
- Louise.
3
00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:07,231
- My mom's dead.
4
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:10,901
I can't pay you for any of this.
5
00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:14,004
Well, my mom hired a guy
to re-shingle the house.
6
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,106
- I told you, you got
to practice sexy times.
7
00:00:16,116 --> 00:00:18,442
Have you never been in
a long distance thing?
8
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:21,245
- I'm in a long distance
thing right now I guess.
9
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:22,713
I'm not gonna be
able to get hard
10
00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:24,181
and shoot with some stranger
11
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,617
if I can't even do it
with someone I love first.
12
00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:29,987
- So, Jackson wanted
to say hi. (laughs)
13
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:32,623
- Oh, look at you two.
14
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:34,224
You're making the pandemic fun.
15
00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:37,027
- M-hmm (laughs)
16
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:40,063
♪ Do you know those people
17
00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:43,800
♪ Who would do anything
18
00:00:43,810 --> 00:00:48,805
♪ To be loved
19
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:54,611
♪ All I ever wanted
20
00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:56,747
♪ Was, was
21
00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:59,549
♪ To be wanted
22
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,451
♪ By you
23
00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:05,088
♪ And the likes of Broadway
24
00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:12,162
- Forty bucks.
That's not so bad.
25
00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:13,664
You know, a lot of dudes
are pulling in that much,
26
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,933
but they live in like Russia,
27
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:18,235
or any other number of
depressed economies,
28
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:21,104
or the U.S. goes a lot
farther over there, I find.
29
00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:23,573
- Yeah. Dinner, delivery,
and a tip in Canada.
30
00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:26,510
- [Jake] You figure
out your thing yet?
31
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,778
- Uh, my brand?
32
00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:30,213
- Sure.
33
00:01:30,223 --> 00:01:31,048
- Not yet.
34
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:33,417
- All right. Well,
don't think of it
35
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,185
as so significant as a brand.
36
00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:37,387
Okay? Like, it's not permanent.
37
00:01:37,397 --> 00:01:39,790
It's not gonna reflect
your corporate identity
38
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,058
or anything like that.
39
00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:43,126
Think of it as like
a niche or a shtick.
40
00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:46,229
You know, people will
literally fetishize anything.
41
00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:47,698
- My shtick. Like Vaudeville.
42
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,667
- If you say so you.
43
00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:51,868
You seen Story Time guy?
44
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:54,304
- Nope.
45
00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:56,239
- [Jake] Well, he gets naked.
46
00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:58,008
He reads stories.
47
00:01:58,018 --> 00:02:00,877
People pay to hear the
story they wanna hear.
48
00:02:00,887 --> 00:02:02,679
- That's it? He reads?
49
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:04,915
- Nah. For a thousand
tokens Jack and Jill
50
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:07,818
run up the hill to fetch
a pail of his splooge.
51
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:10,320
He will literally ejaculate
on any piece of literature
52
00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:11,788
for the right price.
53
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:12,622
- Okay.
54
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:14,524
Hmm.
55
00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:15,859
- Or my friends, Henry and Toto,
56
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:17,561
you catch their act?
57
00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:18,729
- Don't think so.
58
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:21,231
- Well, Henry sits on all fours
59
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,200
with his ass towards the camera,
60
00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:25,235
people pay, and then cha-ching,
61
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:27,304
Toto sticks his big
toe in Henry's ass.
62
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,572
(laughs)
63
00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:30,674
- The bigger the tip,
the longer the toeing.
64
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:32,909
It's simple, high
concept entertainment.
65
00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:36,079
- Unfortunately I
am isolating alone,
66
00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:39,483
and don't think I can reach
my butt with my big toe.
67
00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:42,719
- Have you even tried?
68
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,655
Like don't
underestimate yourself.
69
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,726
All right. Well,
what's on your menu?
70
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:52,996
Your tip menu.
71
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,365
All right. Check out my chat box
72
00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:56,600
when we're not in private.
73
00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:59,302
For ten tokens, I'll
flash you a smile.
74
00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:02,139
20 tokens, I'll
stick on my tongue.
75
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:04,374
40 tokens, I'll flex a bicep.
76
00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:06,576
50, I'll remove an
article of clothing.
77
00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:08,612
60's a helicopter.
78
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:09,613
- A helicopter?
79
00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:11,815
- Helicockter.
80
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:14,518
I make it spin.
81
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,821
- Oh, okay.
82
00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:19,389
- 70's 10 naked squats.
83
00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:20,690
80's naked sit-ups.
84
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,359
90's naked jumping jack.
85
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,660
100's pushups.
86
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,462
500's I'll jerk off for you,
87
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:27,064
and 1,000, I'll cum for you.
88
00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:29,966
- How many tokens can
you win in a night?
89
00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:33,003
- How many pushups can you do?
90
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,505
- How much per push up?
91
00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:38,275
- Well, they pay a
dime, you get a nickel.
92
00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:44,381
- Okay. So I do 10 pushups
and I get 50 cents?
93
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:47,017
- If you're charging
a hundred tokens.
94
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:48,485
- It's not a lot.
95
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:50,954
- Okay. Well, would you
be doing them for free?
96
00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:53,723
- [Aston] Yeah.
97
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,559
- So, why not get
paid for something
98
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,528
you're already gonna
do for free? You know?
99
00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:02,732
Theme nights. Get them to pay
for like buying you a shot.
100
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:04,167
- Shot of what?
101
00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:05,569
- Whatever you like to drink.
102
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:09,840
You know? Get yourself a
bottle of jack or gin or vodka.
103
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,908
They pay 300 tokens,
you take a shot.
104
00:04:13,353 --> 00:04:15,846
- Okay. So, I buy the bottle,
and the fans buy the shots?
105
00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:18,448
- Yes, exactly.
106
00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:19,683
Like if they saw you in a bar
107
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:21,351
they'd want to buy
you a drink, right?
108
00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:22,586
It's a come on.
109
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:25,455
A fantasy of meeting
you in the real world.
110
00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:27,924
Plus, would you
be drinking alone?
111
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:28,758
- Probably.
112
00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:31,361
- So, why not?
113
00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:33,363
- Why not get paid for it?
114
00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:34,764
- You can sell anything.
115
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:36,800
Right? People will
literally buying anything
116
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,802
if you sell it properly.
117
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:40,036
You got ugly feet?
118
00:04:40,046 --> 00:04:41,304
People will pay to
see your ugly feet.
119
00:04:41,314 --> 00:04:42,472
(laughs)
120
00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:43,306
You just gotta
build anticipation.
121
00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:48,011
For 25 tokens, I'll
remove my ugly shoe.
122
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:51,148
For 50 tokens, I'll
remove my ugly sock.
123
00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:52,616
- So, it's about the buildup.
124
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:55,252
- There's a reason they
call it a climax, my friend.
125
00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:56,119
(cheek popping)
126
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,054
- I think I follow you.
127
00:04:58,064 --> 00:04:59,489
- All right. So let me ask you.
128
00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,424
You said you have
a boyfriend, right?
129
00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:03,560
- Yeah, but it's long
distance right now.
130
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:05,428
- Okay. So, he's far away.
131
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:10,534
You'd be rubbing
one out every night.
132
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:11,334
- Yeah.
133
00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:13,637
- So, why not?
134
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,438
- So, why not get paid for it?
135
00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:17,874
- Exactly. Any more questions?
136
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:19,142
- Only a million.
137
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,578
- Well, you don't have
that many tokens, so.
138
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:23,813
- Thanks for the tips, Jake.
139
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,050
- All right, everybody.
140
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:31,788
Our tip goal for today
is a large pizza with
141
00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:33,356
the works.
142
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:36,159
It's gonna be 100
tokens per slice.
143
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,862
Who wants to buy me a slice?
144
00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:44,901
People. Come on.
145
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:46,636
I'm putting on a full show
for you here. All right?
146
00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:48,004
I've got a costume.
147
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,940
I have, I have props.
148
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:54,377
I have chili oil that I will
put in places that you wont.
149
00:05:54,387 --> 00:05:57,113
All right? Show
some appreciation?
150
00:05:57,123 --> 00:05:59,783
(notification ringing)
151
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:02,485
- Thank you, Hassenfeffer Inc.
152
00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:04,154
Okay.
153
00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:06,456
For buying me that slice,
154
00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:08,491
here's my ass.
155
00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:11,895
(hand slapping)
156
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:13,964
All right. Oh.
157
00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:15,265
Mmm.
158
00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:16,366
Oh my God.
159
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,301
Thank you, Hassenfeffer.
160
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:20,270
I appreciate this slice.
161
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:23,306
Now, now I would
love some toppings.
162
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:24,874
(notification chiming)
163
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,743
(exhales) Okay, no Wisconsin.
164
00:06:26,753 --> 00:06:28,478
If you look at the
menu, all right,
165
00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:30,447
it's 51 for pepperoni,
166
00:06:30,457 --> 00:06:33,850
52 for salami, 53
for onion, on and on.
167
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,085
All right?
168
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,954
But I got to admit, I'm
hungry for the works.
169
00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:40,490
(notification ringing)
170
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:41,825
(exhales)
171
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:43,360
Pineapple.
172
00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:47,364
Really Wisconsin? You kiss
your mother with that mouth?
173
00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:49,733
(notification chiming)
174
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,534
Wait a minute. Hey.
175
00:06:51,544 --> 00:06:52,369
Um.
176
00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:56,640
All right. I'm gonna go private
for a little while guys.
177
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:57,674
I'll see you soon.
178
00:06:58,685 --> 00:06:59,509
Okay.
179
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:03,246
(chair sliding)
180
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:06,616
- Hey, how are you doing Wegman?
181
00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:07,751
- [Wegman] What are you doing?
182
00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:11,021
- I'm fundraising for pizza.
183
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,290
(giggles)
184
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:14,524
- [Wegman] You're masturbating
185
00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:15,759
in front of 200
people for pizza?
186
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,865
- Well, yeah,
187
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,333
but
188
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:24,701
that's just an act.
189
00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:28,104
Look, I already ordered
the pizza. You know.
190
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,239
(laughs)
191
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,507
Don't tell anyone.
192
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,842
- [Wegman] This has beneath you.
193
00:07:32,852 --> 00:07:35,478
- I gotta pay the
mortgage, Mr. Judgy Pants.
194
00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:38,448
- [Wegman] No, doing
porn isn't beneath you.
195
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,849
But your mom doesn't
work her ass off
196
00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:41,384
to pay for four years
of theater school
197
00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:42,719
for you to dress up as
a pizza on the internet
198
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,688
equivalent of
Hollywood Boulevard.
199
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:46,323
(exhales)
200
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:47,157
Am I wrong?
201
00:07:49,769 --> 00:07:51,194
- (exhales) No.
202
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:56,599
- [Wegman] What's your
classical monologue?
203
00:07:57,677 --> 00:07:59,035
- My classical monologue?
204
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,371
- [Wegman] Now you
said you were an actor.
205
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:02,872
Don't you have like
a classical monologue
206
00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:05,041
and a contemporary monologue
that you do for auditions?
207
00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:06,042
- Yeah, Gaveston.
208
00:08:07,253 --> 00:08:08,978
- [Wegman] Is that Shakespeare?
209
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,413
- Christopher Marlowe.
210
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:11,314
Edward the Second.
211
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:14,351
- [Wegman] Do it for me.
212
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:16,753
- For real?
213
00:08:18,565 --> 00:08:20,190
- [Wegman] I'm a
paying audience.
214
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:24,427
- Okay. (laughs)
215
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:26,596
(exhales)
216
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:30,767
- Come, Gaveston.
217
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,604
Share the kingdom with
thy dearest friend.
218
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:39,209
Ah! (laughs) Words that make
me surfeit with delight!
219
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,945
What greater bliss
could hap to Gaveston
220
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:44,114
then to live and be
the favorite of a king?
221
00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,451
- [Wegman] Whoa, whoa,
whoa, cut. Hold on, hold on.
222
00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:51,421
This is still a porn site.
223
00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:56,593
Sexy it up for me.
224
00:09:00,006 --> 00:09:00,897
Fondle yourself.
225
00:09:03,309 --> 00:09:06,536
- You want me to do Marlowe
and play with myself?
226
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:07,937
- [Wegman] (laughs) Why not?
227
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:12,308
Are you saying classical
theater can't be sexy?
228
00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:14,744
- Gaveston is sexy.
229
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,514
- [Wegman] I'm not gonna lie,
230
00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:18,615
that really didn't
seem that sexy.
231
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,389
(exhales)
232
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,392
(inhales)
233
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:33,096
- Sweet prince,
234
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:33,897
I come.
235
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,966
These, these thy amorous lines
236
00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:40,637
might have enforc'd me
to have swum from France,
237
00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:43,306
and like Leander,
238
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:45,442
gasp'd upon the sand,
239
00:09:46,619 --> 00:09:48,745
So that thou
would'st smile at me,
240
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:52,549
and take me in thine arms.
241
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:57,587
The site of London
to my exiled eyes
242
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:00,390
is as Elysium
243
00:10:02,635 --> 00:10:04,060
to a new-come soul.
244
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:07,931
Not that I love the
city or the men,
245
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,868
but that it harbors
him I hold so dear.
246
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:17,006
The king, upon whose
bosom let me die,
247
00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:21,277
and with the world
be still at enmity.
248
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:24,380
What need the Arctic
people love starlight,
249
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:27,650
to whom the sun shines
by both day and night.
250
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:31,521
Farewell base stooping
to the lordly peers!
251
00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:34,290
My knee shall bow to
none but to the king.
252
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:36,793
(exhales)
253
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,762
As for the multitude,
that are but sparks,
254
00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:42,632
rak'd up in the embers
of their poverty;
255
00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:46,769
Tanti, I'll fawn
first on the wind
256
00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:50,139
that glanceth on my
lips, and flieth away.
257
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:52,942
Oh.
258
00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:53,743
Mmm.
259
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,614
(exhales)
260
00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:03,419
(exhales)
261
00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:05,388
(laughs)
262
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,957
- [Wegman] You just earned
yourself a $300 tip.
263
00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:08,791
- What?
264
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,227
- [Wegman] You need
to learn your worth.
265
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:13,062
(laughs)
266
00:11:13,072 --> 00:11:14,531
- Is that good?
267
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:15,732
- [Wegman] I'd have happily paid
268
00:11:15,742 --> 00:11:17,133
full Broadway ticket
price for that.
269
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:20,203
(exhales)
270
00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:21,037
- Thank you.
271
00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:25,508
- [Wegman] Now, if
you're going to do
272
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,377
a pornographic pizza scenario,
273
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:29,879
don't play the pizza, play
the pizza delivery boy.
274
00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:33,216
That's a whole other time
honored kind of classic drama.
275
00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:35,618
- Uh-huh.
276
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:39,122
- [Wegman] You know what you're
gonna have to do now, right?
277
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:41,524
- What?
278
00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:45,128
- [Wegman] Go back out
there and finish the show.
279
00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:46,729
You've got 30 odd
people out there
280
00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:48,131
waiting for your lonely slice
281
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:49,599
to blossom into a full pie.
282
00:11:54,113 --> 00:11:55,204
The show must go on.
283
00:11:57,116 --> 00:11:59,008
- That's gonna feel a
little extra silly now.
284
00:11:59,018 --> 00:12:01,611
- [Wegman] Up. Now. Now.
285
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:04,981
There are no small
parts, just small pizzas.
286
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:07,784
(laughs)
287
00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:08,618
(exhales)
288
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:09,619
- You're killin' me.
289
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:12,555
- [Wegman] Break a crust.
290
00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:17,093
(exhales)
291
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:23,700
- All right,
everybody. I'm back.
292
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:24,701
And I'm hungry.
293
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:28,404
(pizza shuffling)
294
00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:33,710
(container clanking)
295
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,312
(lid clicking)
296
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:40,316
(glass clanking)
297
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:43,052
(pizza slamming)
298
00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:47,924
(lid sliding)
299
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:50,426
(lid closing)
300
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:55,131
(lips smacking)
301
00:12:55,141 --> 00:12:58,568
- I did my first cum show today!
302
00:12:58,578 --> 00:12:59,869
Well, two.
303
00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:02,805
- Wait, why didn't you tell me?
304
00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:06,676
You know I never miss
any of your openings.
305
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:08,177
- You know, didn't
really seem like
306
00:13:08,187 --> 00:13:10,847
the kind of opening night
you invite your friends to.
307
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:14,384
I don't think there's gonna
be a New York Times review.
308
00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:18,087
- Well, I mean, there must
be some kind of reviews, huh?
309
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,990
- Well, if you tip me 25 tokens,
310
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,426
you can give me a thumbs
up or a thumbs down.
311
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:24,360
(exhales)
312
00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:26,195
- Siskel and Ebert really ruined
313
00:13:26,205 --> 00:13:27,997
the art form of criticism.
314
00:13:28,007 --> 00:13:30,233
- I'm running a 91% thumbs up.
315
00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:35,238
- Okay. That's like super
fresh on the tomato meter.
316
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:39,242
- Actually it's 4.5 out
of five boners, thank you.
317
00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:42,578
- These are the best
reviews of your career.
318
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,815
- Funny 'cause it's true.
319
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,450
- Honey, I'm proud of you.
320
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,951
And you know I hate it
321
00:13:48,961 --> 00:13:51,454
when my friends
become successful,
322
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:54,257
but I love it when my friends
become successful in porn.
323
00:13:55,401 --> 00:13:57,694
- Oh my God, I'm doing porn.
324
00:13:57,704 --> 00:14:00,163
- Oh, hey. Speaking of success.
325
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,164
(tongue clicking)
326
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,331
How'd you do?
327
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,267
Like how much you pull in?
328
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:06,436
- Maybe $410.
329
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:09,939
But 300 of that was
a tip from one guy.
330
00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:11,374
- $410?
331
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:13,810
That's like,
332
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,712
that's more than I made per
week on my last theater job.
333
00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:19,482
And that was equity co-op
and I had to cry every show.
334
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,250
- You don't have to tell me.
335
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:22,485
- Well, you know what?
336
00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:24,087
I know exactly what I'm
doing if this pandemic
337
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,755
goes on for another six months.
338
00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:29,459
- Your parents would kill
you if you became a cam girl,
339
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:33,129
and even if that's hyperbolic,
they might actually kill me
340
00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:35,798
for leading you down a
path of ruin and shame.
341
00:14:37,009 --> 00:14:39,936
- Okay. So, I will just
keep stocking groceries
342
00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:43,272
on the 11:00 PM
to 8:00 AM shift,
343
00:14:43,282 --> 00:14:48,277
while you make three times
as much jacking off at home.
344
00:14:49,021 --> 00:14:49,612
Thanks, mom and dad.
345
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:55,651
- Hun, hey I'm sorry.
346
00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:59,989
- It's okay. I don't think
she actually would have
347
00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:01,491
cared what I'm doing it.
348
00:15:02,969 --> 00:15:05,128
If I wasn't going to be a
doctor, lawyer, or teacher
349
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:08,064
then she was just
wanting me to be happy.
350
00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:17,974
(blankets shuffling)
351
00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:20,576
(hand tapping)
352
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,716
(groans)
353
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,399
(pot clanking)
354
00:15:48,347 --> 00:15:51,507
(footsteps shuffling)
355
00:15:53,352 --> 00:15:55,278
(hammer banging)
356
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:56,112
- Fuck.
357
00:15:59,425 --> 00:16:00,750
Coffee?
358
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:01,584
- Morning.
359
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:05,454
You're up early.
(ladder clanking)
360
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:06,656
- Yeah.
361
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,291
I thought I might
hate you a little less
362
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,092
if I woke up before
you got here.
363
00:16:10,102 --> 00:16:11,828
That is very considerate.
364
00:16:13,739 --> 00:16:14,931
I got enough people hating me.
365
00:16:14,941 --> 00:16:17,967
I don't need to add
you to the list.
366
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,468
- Must be a hazard of the job.
367
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,372
- You know, I always thought
you got to like someone
368
00:16:23,382 --> 00:16:25,541
a little bit before
you can hate 'em.
369
00:16:26,752 --> 00:16:29,045
It's all about disappointment.
370
00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:31,447
- I always thought
the exact opposite.
371
00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:32,682
It's so much easier
to hate someone
372
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:34,283
until you know 'em a little bit.
373
00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:38,354
- I guess we'll see
how it pans out.
374
00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:50,700
- I just wanted
to send you this.
375
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:53,636
I hope that you're okay,
376
00:16:56,148 --> 00:17:00,309
I wish that you could
be snuggling up in bed,
377
00:17:00,319 --> 00:17:02,612
and watching movies, and
378
00:17:04,490 --> 00:17:06,482
either quarantining together
379
00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:10,319
and having fun and playing
board games and stuff,
380
00:17:10,329 --> 00:17:13,322
or that this whole
quarantine was just over.
381
00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:17,093
And we could go out
to restaurants, and
382
00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:19,629
you know,
383
00:17:20,506 --> 00:17:21,631
normal
384
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:22,465
things.
385
00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:26,769
But anyways I hope that
you're not feeling too
386
00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:30,473
anxious all the time.
387
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:32,842
I just want to let you know
388
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:35,378
that this will all pass
389
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:36,779
soon,
390
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:37,680
and
391
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:40,616
(pillow shuffling)
392
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:45,922
and that maybe thought
you just want to
393
00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:47,823
just
394
00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:49,759
look at me
395
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:50,593
for a bit.
396
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,565
Really hairy.
397
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,671
And we could snuggle, and
398
00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:08,544
tell each other stories
about our lives, and
399
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:13,215
secrets.
400
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:16,485
It'd be nice to just roll
around in bed together.
401
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:21,057
Anyways.
402
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:22,658
Yeah, I hope you're doing okay.
403
00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:25,127
And
404
00:18:26,238 --> 00:18:28,464
hope to chat to you more.
405
00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:36,105
(computer tapping)
406
00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:42,878
- Got your message.
407
00:18:42,888 --> 00:18:43,913
(camera shuffling)
408
00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:44,747
- Hello?
409
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:48,117
Oh, hey man.
410
00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:50,920
Oh, shoot.
411
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:52,455
- Is that my phone?
412
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:55,791
(phone shuffles)
413
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:56,625
Hey babe.
414
00:18:58,004 --> 00:19:00,162
We were just taking a nap.
415
00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:02,365
A bunch of us were
drinking last night, and
416
00:19:03,509 --> 00:19:04,433
kind of foggy today.
417
00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:05,935
So, we're just
418
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:07,370
napping.
419
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:10,373
(computer shutting)
420
00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:25,988
♪ All I ever wanted
421
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:30,993
♪ Was, was, to be wanted
422
00:19:31,637 --> 00:19:32,862
♪ By you
423
00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:37,867
♪ And the likes of Broadway
424
00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:43,072
♪ All I ever wanted
425
00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:48,044
♪ Was, was, to be wanted
426
00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:50,212
♪ Instead
427
00:19:50,222 --> 00:19:55,184
♪ I'm pushing Daisies
428
00:19:56,695 --> 00:20:00,856
♪ Do you know those people
who would do anything ♪
429
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:07,596
♪ To be loved
430
00:20:08,607 --> 00:20:11,167
♪ I was one of them
431
00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:15,571
♪ I would do anything
432
00:20:15,581 --> 00:20:18,340
♪ To be realized
433
00:20:23,489 --> 00:20:26,082
(upbeat music)
434
00:20:33,432 --> 00:20:36,092
(fast knocking)
435
00:20:37,736 --> 00:20:38,561
(door opening)
436
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,395
- Can I use your sink?
437
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:40,229
- Uh, yeah.
438
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:41,964
- Sorry.
439
00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:45,134
(water running)
440
00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:47,636
- You're the one who's using
your mother's vibrator.
441
00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:51,140
You think they're the weirdos
just for watching you do it?
442
00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:52,475
You got a booty shaker yet?
443
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,044
It's like a big thing now.
444
00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:57,079
It's like this
vibrating butt plug
445
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,681
you can interface
with the cam site
446
00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:00,649
so that the
customers can control
447
00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:02,151
when it vibrates.
448
00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:05,254
More specifically, they give
you tokens to make it vibrate.30342
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof