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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:04,970 (theme song playing) 2 00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:21,613 (static crackles) 3 00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:23,960 CINDY (over radio): Louie, Louie, Louie, where are you, Louie? 4 00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:25,350 Why don't you help me, Louie? 5 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,785 Why don't you answer me, Louie? 6 00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:27,953 Where are you, Louie? 7 00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:29,787 Yeah, Bates, this is Louie. 8 00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:31,223 How's it goin', kiddo? 9 00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,725 I had an accident. I hit some ice 10 00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:35,027 and I spun off the road. 11 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,662 I can't get the cab started. 12 00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:39,031 The window's broken, and I'm freezing. 13 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,499 I'm on an unmarked country road. 14 00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:46,071 I got off at the Rocks Hill exit of the Garden State Parkway. 15 00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:48,606 I don't know where I am. 16 00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:50,109 Louie... 17 00:01:50,177 --> 00:01:52,010 All right, okay, Bates, Bates, calm down here. 18 00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:54,479 Now, how do you expect me to help you if you're hysterical? 19 00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:56,414 I'm sorry. You're right, Louie. 20 00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:57,850 Okay, okay, Louie. 21 00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:58,950 I'm calm. 22 00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:00,218 All right, that's better. 23 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:02,086 Now, let's think. 24 00:02:02,155 --> 00:02:03,422 She's doomed. 25 00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:08,059 Louie, I know where this woman is. 26 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,128 Is right near the farm where Simka and I 27 00:02:10,197 --> 00:02:12,697 buy our goat knuckles. 28 00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:15,300 So? So, I want to go and bring her back. 29 00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:17,436 No, no, no, Latka, I can't let you go. 30 00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:18,536 It's too dangerous. 31 00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:21,306 Let him go, Louie. Let him go. 32 00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:25,510 Louie, please, I'm so... (static crackles) 33 00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:27,512 Bates! Bates! 34 00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:31,950 Ah, her radio just quit. 35 00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:35,987 Latka, you can't go out there. It's too dangerous. 36 00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:38,056 No, no, listen, where I come from, 37 00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:39,791 we live every day with danger. 38 00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:40,959 We laugh at danger. 39 00:02:41,027 --> 00:02:43,528 Ha, ha, ha. 40 00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:46,431 You call... you call this danger... a little snow? 41 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,566 Ha, come on. Where are the wolves? 42 00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:50,368 Where are the wild boars? 43 00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:52,237 Where are the avalanches? 44 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:55,974 Where are my mittens? 45 00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:05,283 (wind howling) (Latka moaning) 46 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:10,022 (moaning continues) 47 00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:14,192 Oh! Oh! Oh! 48 00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:19,031 Excuse me! Excuse me! 49 00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:22,567 Are you Cindy Bates? 50 00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:23,568 Yes! 51 00:03:23,636 --> 00:03:26,371 Of the Sunshine Cab Company? 52 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,207 Yes! Yes! 53 00:03:29,275 --> 00:03:31,142 Never hurts to check, you know. 54 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,743 (chuckles) All right. 55 00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:35,547 Oh, oh, oh... What are you doing? I'm freezing. 56 00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:38,816 Let's just go get in your tow truck and get out of here. (moaning) 57 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,253 Oh, that would be terrific if we could, 58 00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:44,489 but, you see, it's buried in a snowbank three miles back. 59 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,558 (resumes moaning) 60 00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:48,593 Well, maybe you could do something with this cab? 61 00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:50,662 I-I'll take a look. 62 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,664 (engine sputters) 63 00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:56,067 (grunts) 64 00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:58,236 Oh, I think I know what the problem is. 65 00:03:58,305 --> 00:03:59,237 What? 66 00:03:59,306 --> 00:04:01,106 Winter. 67 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:02,573 (grunts) 68 00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:06,177 Oh, come on, turn that frown upside down. 69 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,413 I'm freezing. 70 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:10,849 You want my coat? 71 00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:14,252 All right. Here. 72 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,790 (moaning) 73 00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:21,893 Oh, I hope it is the right size for you. 74 00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:24,529 Oh, oh, here. 75 00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,498 Oh, here you go. 76 00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,499 (continues moaning) 77 00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,403 Oh! 78 00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:34,405 (spitting) 79 00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:37,242 (continues moaning) 80 00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:40,211 Y-You want my scarf? 81 00:04:42,349 --> 00:04:44,683 Here. 82 00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:46,685 (resumes moaning) 83 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,358 What? 84 00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:57,128 All right. 85 00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:59,364 Here you go. 86 00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:01,466 Oh! 87 00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,468 (moaning) 88 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:05,903 Oh! 89 00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:08,139 Thank you. You're welcome. 90 00:05:09,342 --> 00:05:10,408 It's no good. Why? 91 00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:11,754 We're still going to freeze to death 92 00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:13,878 with the wind coming through that broken window. 93 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,649 No problem. 94 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:26,491 (moaning) 95 00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:31,330 (continues moaning) 96 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:44,109 (continues moaning) 97 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,777 That should do it. 98 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,713 I feel terrible that you're going to freeze to death to save me. 99 00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,715 I am? 100 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:54,819 We could share your coat. 101 00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:56,220 Okay, thank you. 102 00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:57,855 That's very nice of you. 103 00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:00,224 Oh, yeah. 104 00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:02,160 (moaning) 105 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,770 Latka? What? 106 00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:14,906 Am I paranoid, or are we going to freeze to death? 107 00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:17,208 What does "paranoid" mean? 108 00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:20,144 Is it just my imagination? 109 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,746 Is it just a strange thought? 110 00:06:21,814 --> 00:06:23,482 Oh, no, no, no, you're not paranoid. 111 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,484 Don't worry, we're going to freeze to death. 112 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,219 We are? 113 00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:31,255 Yes, we are. It is unavoidable. 114 00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:34,326 But, but you know what is the terrible thing? 115 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,395 I am going to be brave in the face of death 116 00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:38,330 and my wife won't ever know. 117 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:41,533 She'll think I died the sniveling coward that I lived. 118 00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:43,468 Don't, don't give up yet, Latka. 119 00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:45,670 We have to do something, and fast. 120 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,372 I'm beginning to get numb. 121 00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:49,941 Oh, but... but what can we do? 122 00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:51,943 (wind howling, Latka moaning) 123 00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:55,580 (mutters) We can have sex. 124 00:06:55,648 --> 00:06:58,116 I'm sorry. I cannot hear too well. 125 00:06:58,185 --> 00:07:00,885 I stood too close to the cannon at my father's funeral. 126 00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:02,253 No, no, no. 127 00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:03,988 You... no, you were hearing right. 128 00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:06,390 The heat from our bodies will help us to survive. 129 00:07:06,459 --> 00:07:09,127 Yeah, but I can't. I'm a married man. 130 00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:11,196 This is too perfect. 131 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,265 I actually get to die from rejection. 132 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,900 Oh, no, no, no, is not personal. 133 00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:18,636 Is nothing personal. I am a married man. 134 00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:21,806 It's a very simple choice, Latka. 135 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:24,709 Either you have sex with me or you freeze to death. 136 00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:31,249 Sex, death... Sex, death, hmm... 137 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:38,222 Why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself? 138 00:07:42,161 --> 00:07:43,761 Now, that's wonderful. 139 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:46,264 Yes. Thank you for calling. 140 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:51,068 The state police found them, and they're all right. 141 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:55,106 (applause and cheering) 142 00:07:55,174 --> 00:07:57,108 Thank you. 143 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,480 I feel complete. 144 00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:05,550 I feel wanted. 145 00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:07,486 I've joined the family. 146 00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:09,487 What are you talking about, Jim? 147 00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:16,728 "Dear Jim Ignatowski, we are pleased to welcome you 148 00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:19,964 "as a member of our family of satisfied MasterCard holders. 149 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,567 (Elaine chuckles) 150 00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:25,570 Your card will arrive shortly." 151 00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:26,904 Family. Yeah. 152 00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:29,307 A family. 153 00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,909 I've joined the family. 154 00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:34,312 Me. Jim Ignatowski. 155 00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:35,381 ALEX: Nah... 156 00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:37,515 No, no, Jim, you see, in this case 157 00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:40,251 "family" is being used in a sort of, uh... 158 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,953 Well, it's a figure of speech. 159 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:44,489 I mean, uh, it's a kind of a cute advertising way of... 160 00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:47,024 Don't badmouth my family, Alex. 161 00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,093 (mouthing) 162 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,433 Hey! Our hero! 163 00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:57,402 (excited greetings) 164 00:08:57,471 --> 00:08:59,204 Oh, I'm so proud of you. 165 00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,139 Please, Elaine, I have no more to give. 166 00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:05,977 Can I please talk to you alone? 167 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,611 I have a troubled soul. 168 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,346 What is it? What is it? What is it? 169 00:09:09,415 --> 00:09:11,148 Hey, this is private! 170 00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:16,687 What is it, Latka? What's, what's, what's, what's wrong? 171 00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:19,223 I, I have been... You're considered a hero here. 172 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:20,491 Don't you know that? 173 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:21,560 I am not a hero. 174 00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:24,228 I am a stinkbug. 175 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,397 I have been unfaithful to Simka. 176 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,132 What? Come here. 177 00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:29,733 What-what are you talking about? 178 00:09:29,802 --> 00:09:32,403 It-it, it happened when Cindy and I 179 00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:34,138 were waiting to be rescued. Yeah. 180 00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:35,573 This will destroy Simka. 181 00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,742 I-I don't know what should I do? 182 00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:40,679 Well, uh... 183 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,880 You're not going to tell her, are you? 184 00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:44,281 I have to. 185 00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:46,017 She knows me so well, she will know. 186 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,952 Believe me. No, no, no, no, Latka, 187 00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:49,421 you can't hurt her just so 188 00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:50,929 you should feel a little less guilty. 189 00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:53,958 I mean, the bigger thing here is to... is to spare Simka. 190 00:09:54,026 --> 00:09:57,028 I mean, it was a one and one time only thing, right? 191 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,674 I mean, it's not going to happen again, is it? 192 00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:00,765 Eh... Is it? 193 00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:03,301 No, no. Good, good. 194 00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:04,836 Yeah, that's right. 195 00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:08,639 Th-The only decent thing to do is to deceive her. 196 00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:11,442 Whew! What a relief. 197 00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:17,515 Wait a minute. 198 00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:24,122 How am I going to explain the scratches on my back? 199 00:10:25,892 --> 00:10:28,126 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, that's right. 200 00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:30,128 They were on her back. 201 00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:35,266 I am lucky that you are coming over to my house 202 00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:36,400 for dinner tonight. 203 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,835 Huh? Oh, wow. 204 00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:39,237 I almost forgot about that. 205 00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:41,272 Uh, hey, but under the circumstances... 206 00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:43,908 Under the circumstances if I'm going to deceive her, 207 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,510 everything has to look normal. 208 00:10:45,579 --> 00:10:47,345 She's expecting you, you come. 209 00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:48,813 Come on. 210 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,752 (door unlocking) 211 00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:03,528 Hi, honey, I'm home. 212 00:11:03,597 --> 00:11:04,528 Latka! 213 00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:06,931 I'm so happy. I... 214 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,768 You did it with another woman! 215 00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:27,284 Simka, darling... Don't "darling" me. 216 00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,220 Who is she? 217 00:11:29,288 --> 00:11:31,689 Who was the lowlife that would let you 218 00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:34,058 have your way with her? 219 00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:35,371 Well, listen, I'll just run along now. 220 00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:36,694 I've got to... So soon? 221 00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:38,096 You just got here. 222 00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:40,932 Yes, you see, in our country 223 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,299 we have manners. 224 00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:45,403 The most important thing is the guest. 225 00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:48,239 Forget that our lives are falling apart. 226 00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:50,775 The damn guest must come first. 227 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,145 Here, damn guest. 228 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:58,449 Now, you have no problems. 229 00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:00,184 Eat hearty! 230 00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:01,719 And you! 231 00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:03,621 I want names! 232 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,623 Who is she?! 233 00:12:05,692 --> 00:12:08,559 I don't know what you're talking about. 234 00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:10,294 SIMKA: Oh... 235 00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:13,931 Really? 236 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,467 Yes. Latka... What? 237 00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:17,935 Look me in the eye. 238 00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:22,073 If you can look me in the eye and tell me 239 00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:26,610 that you did not have fleshy union with another woman, 240 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:30,948 I will believe you. 241 00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:36,320 I did not have fleshy union with another woman. 242 00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:37,755 Ha! 243 00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:39,590 Okay, I did. I am sorry. 244 00:12:39,658 --> 00:12:40,792 Please forgive me. 245 00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:45,162 Oh, my God! Simka, it was nothing, really, it was... 246 00:12:45,231 --> 00:12:47,264 But you don't understand the reason why I did... 247 00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:48,366 Simka, but... Oh, my God! 248 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,701 But listen, you must understand. 249 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,569 I'll just grab a burger on my way home. 250 00:12:52,638 --> 00:12:54,172 You don't have to worry about me. 251 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:58,542 Please, you are making the guest uncomfortable. 252 00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:01,212 No, no, no, hey, hey, hey... 253 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,581 Oh, oh, excuse me. 254 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,916 The damn guest is uncomfortable? 255 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,787 Oh, are you uncomfortable? 256 00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:11,055 No, not really. 257 00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:12,791 Then sit down! 258 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:19,263 Now, you see? The damn guest is happy. 259 00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:24,401 Okay, Latka... 260 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:29,641 maybe there is something that I don't understand. 261 00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:31,876 Why did you do it? 262 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:36,414 This better be darn good. 263 00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,688 I did it for you. 264 00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:49,894 Go on. 265 00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:53,531 Or are those the last words you will ever say? 266 00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:02,940 I... I thought I was never going to see you again. 267 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,275 It was below freezing, 268 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,611 and it was the only way we could keep warm. 269 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,979 We might have died. 270 00:14:16,122 --> 00:14:17,789 That's true. That's true. 271 00:14:17,858 --> 00:14:19,657 In-In the garage he's considered a hero. 272 00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:22,328 Oh. 273 00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:26,597 But really, i-it's the only reason. 274 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,065 It was just to save our lives. 275 00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:31,236 Simka, it-it was you I was kissing. 276 00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:33,303 It was you I was caressing. 277 00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:37,641 It was you I was... Eh... 278 00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:43,681 Take my word for it, it was you. 279 00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:47,385 Okay. 280 00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:52,022 (sighs) What I am going to do now 281 00:14:52,091 --> 00:14:55,893 is I am going to pack a bag so that you can go and spend 282 00:14:55,962 --> 00:14:58,963 the rest of your life some place else. 283 00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:01,999 Oh, no. Uh... But Simk... No. 284 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:05,402 Packing a bag for Latka! 285 00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:06,871 Simka, no... Simka, please. 286 00:15:06,939 --> 00:15:07,872 Is not necessary. 287 00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:09,807 Hey, hey, come on, Simka. 288 00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:13,444 (yelling in native language) 289 00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:15,579 Come on, Simka, think it over, Simka. 290 00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,926 (muttering in native language) You guys can talk about it... 291 00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:19,583 Let's talk about it. 292 00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:22,753 Come on, it can't be that serious. (dishes breaking) 293 00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:24,533 Well, listen, I've overstayed my welcome here. (screams) 294 00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:25,789 I'll be seeing you guys. 295 00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:28,159 Good night. Please. Let me go. Oh, no, no, no, no. 296 00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:30,361 Listen, if you leave, she might stop hiding her anger. 297 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,430 (shrieks) 298 00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:37,301 No, no, Latka, let him go. 299 00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:39,970 It was just lovely having you. 300 00:15:40,039 --> 00:15:46,577 Next time, bring some of your damn friends. 301 00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:48,880 Okay, good night, you guys. I, uh... 302 00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:51,983 Listen, uh, you know, 303 00:15:52,051 --> 00:15:55,719 I-I feel kind of funny because, well, I can see 304 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,289 you're having some minor difficulties 305 00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:01,726 that might affect your future, but, uh, I just want you to know 306 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,227 that I-I think you're both great. 307 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:06,997 And Simka, I know you love Latka. 308 00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:08,632 If you just talk to him calmly, 309 00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,134 there'll be nothing to wor... 310 00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:26,984 Simka, do you really want me to go? 311 00:16:30,957 --> 00:16:33,157 I don't know what I want. 312 00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:39,797 Latka, we must go to the priest. 313 00:16:39,865 --> 00:16:42,566 You must confess your sin 314 00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:46,703 and whatever he advises, we must obey. 315 00:16:49,074 --> 00:16:51,909 I'm sorry I hurt you. 316 00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:55,646 Yeah, well, let's not talk anymore. 317 00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:07,025 (knocking at door) 318 00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:08,559 (speaking native language) 319 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:16,067 Ah, Latka, Simka. 320 00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:18,902 (speaking native language) 321 00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:24,207 (speaking native language) 322 00:17:26,445 --> 00:17:28,379 (speaking native language) 323 00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:47,131 (speaking native language) 324 00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,601 (knock at door) 325 00:17:50,669 --> 00:17:51,735 (speaks native language) 326 00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:56,574 (speaks native language) Hello, Latka, Simka. 327 00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:58,142 Please forgive the intrusion. 328 00:17:58,211 --> 00:17:59,410 This will only take a moment. 329 00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:02,580 (whispers indistinctly) 330 00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:06,250 I happened to run into some ladies who missed the bus, 331 00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:07,985 and, uh, they expressed a desire 332 00:18:08,054 --> 00:18:10,221 to visit the church and see Reverend Gorky. 333 00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:11,322 Ibida. 334 00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:12,623 Good. 335 00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:15,359 Come in, ladies. 336 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,828 Make yourselves at home. 337 00:18:17,896 --> 00:18:20,798 Excellent. 338 00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:23,200 (speaking native language) 339 00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:26,771 He wants to know if you would like to see an unburdening. 340 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,373 It's our religion's equivalent of a confession. 341 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:30,941 Sure. 342 00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:34,978 Mascha? Eh... 343 00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:39,083 I, I don't know if this is such a hot idea. 344 00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:47,258 What I have to confess is of a deepest, most personal nature. 345 00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:49,960 (whispers) 346 00:18:50,029 --> 00:18:52,162 (speaking native language) 347 00:18:57,002 --> 00:18:58,703 "Providence has brought them. 348 00:18:58,771 --> 00:19:00,904 "There is no accidents. 349 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,273 You shall stay." 350 00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:14,017 All right. 351 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:19,023 (speaking native language) 352 00:19:19,092 --> 00:19:20,157 (laughing) 353 00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:22,660 He says he hopes Reverend Gorky 354 00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:25,195 won't be shocked by anything he has to say. 355 00:19:25,264 --> 00:19:27,264 (speaking native language) 356 00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,934 Reverend Gorky says Latka cannot shock him. 357 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:33,304 (speaking native language) 358 00:19:33,372 --> 00:19:36,573 He has already heard a man who raised his voice to his mother. 359 00:19:36,642 --> 00:19:39,910 (Gorky speaking native language) 360 00:19:39,978 --> 00:19:43,581 Another who gave false coin to gain admission to the subway. 361 00:19:45,451 --> 00:19:50,287 (speaking native language) 362 00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:51,889 So how bad can it be? 363 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:04,568 (speaking native language) 364 00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:08,038 He said, "I am troubled and seek your wisdom." 365 00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:10,140 (speaking native language) 366 00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:16,547 "I had meaningless sex with a woman from the garage." 367 00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:26,957 (speaking native language) 368 00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:30,160 "I have been unfaithful to my wife and a disgrace 369 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,162 to my family." 370 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,765 (wailing in native language) 371 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:47,912 "I only want for things to be the way they were 372 00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:50,814 "between Simka and me and, for Simka to forgive me 373 00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:52,983 and to save our marriage." 374 00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:54,584 Ibida, Gorky! 375 00:20:56,489 --> 00:21:00,123 Ibida! Ibida! Ibida! 376 00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:04,161 "Please help us, Reverend Gorky. 377 00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:06,296 Please, please, please." 378 00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:11,401 And now I believe the Reverend Gorky 379 00:21:11,470 --> 00:21:14,405 will impart his sage and profound wisdom 380 00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:16,473 and counsel the sinner. 381 00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:22,479 (deep voice): Latka. 382 00:21:22,548 --> 00:21:24,381 (imitating Gorky): "Latka." 383 00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:38,562 (speaking native language) 384 00:21:45,671 --> 00:21:47,605 This is most fascinating. 385 00:21:47,674 --> 00:21:51,675 He says since Latka sinned with someone he worked with, 386 00:21:51,743 --> 00:21:55,913 Simka must sin with someone she works with. 387 00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:58,415 (speaking native language) 388 00:21:58,484 --> 00:22:01,552 But Simka doesn't work. 389 00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:04,355 (speaking native language) 390 00:22:08,161 --> 00:22:12,496 So Simka must sin with someone Latka works with. 391 00:22:17,669 --> 00:22:19,437 (speaking native language) 392 00:22:19,505 --> 00:22:21,905 And now we must leave them alone. 393 00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:37,855 You see what we must do now, 394 00:22:37,924 --> 00:22:42,225 just because you did not want to die? 395 00:22:42,294 --> 00:22:45,730 You mean, you are going to go through with this? 396 00:22:45,798 --> 00:22:51,267 Latka... we are religious people. 397 00:22:51,336 --> 00:22:54,839 We are orthodox. 398 00:22:54,907 --> 00:22:58,476 Our church has told us what we must do, 399 00:22:58,544 --> 00:23:01,946 and we must obey if we are to remain married. 400 00:23:02,014 --> 00:23:05,416 You mean to tell me 401 00:23:05,484 --> 00:23:07,918 you are going to sleep with one of my friends? 402 00:23:13,526 --> 00:23:16,594 Baby, you're the greatest. 403 00:23:29,808 --> 00:23:33,210 (theme song playing) 404 00:23:55,667 --> 00:23:57,300 WOMAN: Good night, Mr. Walters! 405 00:23:57,369 --> 00:23:58,469 (man grumbling) 27743