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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,618 --> 00:00:04,719 Adult Adam: Growing up, my mom was many things, 2 00:00:04,721 --> 00:00:06,958 but cool was definitely not one of them. 3 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:09,090 She would seriously leave the house like that. 4 00:00:09,158 --> 00:00:12,137 You're not seriously gonna leave the house like that, are you? 5 00:00:12,139 --> 00:00:13,306 Of course not. 6 00:00:15,197 --> 00:00:17,866 (Clicks tongue) 7 00:00:17,933 --> 00:00:21,664 She was an absolute stickler for her uncool rules... 8 00:00:24,206 --> 00:00:25,773 Curfew is 11:00. 9 00:00:25,867 --> 00:00:27,201 It's 11:04. 10 00:00:27,203 --> 00:00:29,060 Even the way she worried about us was uncool. 11 00:00:29,062 --> 00:00:30,841 Do you know what could happen in four minutes? 12 00:00:30,843 --> 00:00:33,365 You could drown, choke, eat poison berries. 13 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,948 And if any of that happens, then I have failed as a mother. 14 00:00:35,950 --> 00:00:37,851 But the most uncool thing of all 15 00:00:37,919 --> 00:00:39,653 was how much our mom loved us. 16 00:00:39,721 --> 00:00:41,922 I made these people... me. 17 00:00:41,990 --> 00:00:44,525 I made them with my body. (Chuckles) 18 00:00:44,592 --> 00:00:46,537 Oh! There's this one now. 19 00:00:46,539 --> 00:00:48,546 Hey, Erica, it's your mom. 20 00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:52,748 Erica, it's your mother! Hi, Erica and Erica's friends! 21 00:00:52,750 --> 00:00:56,271 - Oh, my God. Mom, what are you wearing? - Isn't this adorable? 22 00:00:56,273 --> 00:01:00,898 That kiosk uses technology to put memories on a t-shirt. 23 00:01:00,900 --> 00:01:02,335 It's totally cool. 24 00:01:02,337 --> 00:01:05,210 Oh, Jill, look. There's your mom, too. Louise! 25 00:01:06,406 --> 00:01:09,614 Louise Rubin... the cool mom. 26 00:01:09,616 --> 00:01:11,833 There's always one... hip, youthful, 27 00:01:11,835 --> 00:01:14,854 and wouldn't be caught dead in a shirt with her kids' faces on it. 28 00:01:14,922 --> 00:01:17,890 Yep, she was the Anti-Beverly. 29 00:01:17,958 --> 00:01:20,026 Oh, look what you've got on. 30 00:01:20,094 --> 00:01:22,295 (Chuckles) Oh. 31 00:01:22,363 --> 00:01:23,896 What are the chances, huh? 32 00:01:23,964 --> 00:01:25,865 Are you here to celebrate Choctoberfest 33 00:01:25,933 --> 00:01:27,800 at the Fudge Emporium, too? 34 00:01:27,868 --> 00:01:29,702 Nope. Just hanging with the girls. 35 00:01:29,770 --> 00:01:32,305 - Which girls? - These girls. We just did our nails. 36 00:01:32,373 --> 00:01:33,873 Oh... 37 00:01:33,941 --> 00:01:36,466 So, you drove them here and had to wait in the car 38 00:01:36,468 --> 00:01:40,568 - while they enjoyed themselves, huh? - Mom, she's hanging with us, okay? 39 00:01:40,570 --> 00:01:42,208 We're here to get the new Madonna album. 40 00:01:42,210 --> 00:01:44,654 - don't you just love... - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 41 00:01:45,046 --> 00:01:47,184 When you said you were going to the mall 42 00:01:47,186 --> 00:01:49,054 with your friend Louise, I thought that meant 43 00:01:49,122 --> 00:01:51,523 a girl from your class, not Mrs. Rubin. 44 00:01:51,591 --> 00:01:53,058 Ugh, I don't want them to call me that. 45 00:01:53,126 --> 00:01:54,693 It makes me feel like such a mom, you know? 46 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,129 Ohh, pfft. Yeah. 47 00:01:57,196 --> 00:01:59,631 That's why I like Erica's friends to call me Bev. 48 00:01:59,699 --> 00:02:00,599 Sounds good, Bev. 49 00:02:00,666 --> 00:02:01,766 Don't like it. Go back. 50 00:02:01,834 --> 00:02:04,035 Okay, this was fun. See you at dinner? 51 00:02:04,103 --> 00:02:06,938 Yep. Got to fix some din-din. 52 00:02:07,006 --> 00:02:08,406 Hmm. 53 00:02:08,474 --> 00:02:11,710 Chicken's not gonna pot-pie itself, know what I'm sayin'? (Chuckles) 54 00:02:11,777 --> 00:02:13,545 Cool. Nice catching up, Bev. 55 00:02:13,613 --> 00:02:15,780 Okay, see you on the fliflop! (Chuckles) 56 00:02:15,848 --> 00:02:19,826 The nerve of that woman, cold chillin' with my daughter at the mall. 57 00:02:19,828 --> 00:02:22,794 Erica should be cold chillin' with me, not her! 58 00:02:22,796 --> 00:02:26,122 What are you talking about? You cold chill with Erica all the time. 59 00:02:26,124 --> 00:02:27,124 No. 60 00:02:27,192 --> 00:02:29,160 I only feed her soup when she's sick 61 00:02:29,227 --> 00:02:32,310 and give her boric-acid drops when she's got pinkeye. 62 00:02:32,312 --> 00:02:35,076 I'm in the trenches doing the important, boring stuff. 63 00:02:35,078 --> 00:02:36,701 But when it comes time for fun, 64 00:02:36,703 --> 00:02:38,736 well, she heads straight to Louise Rubin. 65 00:02:38,804 --> 00:02:41,585 Wait. We're talking about Louise Rubin here? 66 00:02:41,587 --> 00:02:42,787 Oh, she's the coolest. 67 00:02:42,789 --> 00:02:44,099 - What? - Yeah! 68 00:02:44,101 --> 00:02:45,743 She'll cut the top off her shirt 69 00:02:46,536 --> 00:02:48,036 just to show her shoulder. 70 00:02:48,179 --> 00:02:49,713 Well, I can do that. 71 00:02:49,780 --> 00:02:53,216 See? I'm just as cool as the next mom. 72 00:02:53,284 --> 00:02:57,220 - W-what are you doing? - I'm trying to expose my shoulder! 73 00:02:57,288 --> 00:03:00,023 Poop. I just stretched it out. 74 00:03:00,091 --> 00:03:02,302 Stop stretching your sweater. 75 00:03:02,304 --> 00:03:04,240 - Okay. - Stop! 76 00:03:04,242 --> 00:03:07,888 Well, I got to stretch my sweater out so I can show my shoulder. 77 00:03:07,890 --> 00:03:09,599 - Mm-hmm-hmm. - Why won't you stop?! 78 00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:13,335 I don't know why you can't stop, but you need to stop! 79 00:03:13,337 --> 00:03:15,371 I'm twisted up inside 80 00:03:15,439 --> 00:03:19,062 but nonetheless I feel the need to say 81 00:03:21,111 --> 00:03:22,712 I don't know the future 82 00:03:22,714 --> 00:03:26,584 but the past keeps getting clearer every day 83 00:03:26,586 --> 00:03:29,020 It was October 22, 1980-something, 84 00:03:29,022 --> 00:03:32,187 and I was spending the night with my Apple II Plus. 85 00:03:32,189 --> 00:03:34,390 It had a whopping 16k of RAM, 86 00:03:34,392 --> 00:03:37,361 Dot Matrix printer, 32-bit color graphics, 87 00:03:37,605 --> 00:03:39,873 and badass, thrill-a-minute video games 88 00:03:39,875 --> 00:03:41,585 like "Oregon Trail." 89 00:03:41,587 --> 00:03:43,476 (Beeping) 90 00:03:44,334 --> 00:03:45,593 - Balls! - (Door opens) 91 00:03:45,595 --> 00:03:47,039 - (Door closes) - While I spent time with my computer, 92 00:03:47,041 --> 00:03:49,507 Barry was hanging with his new crew of dudes. 93 00:03:49,509 --> 00:03:51,671 They called themselves the "Jenkintown Posse"... 94 00:03:51,673 --> 00:03:53,107 - JTP! - Together: JTP! 95 00:03:53,577 --> 00:03:54,944 JTP for short. 96 00:03:55,012 --> 00:03:57,613 They were older, cooler, and lived on the edge. 97 00:03:57,681 --> 00:04:00,116 There was Jeff Schwartz, the madman... 98 00:04:00,183 --> 00:04:02,218 Potato chips on a sandwich? I'm crazy! 99 00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:04,220 (Laughter) Andy Cogan, the ladies man 100 00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:06,055 who never let his height get in the way. 101 00:04:06,123 --> 00:04:08,312 (Sighs) Can a brother get a steppin' stool? 102 00:04:08,314 --> 00:04:10,026 And "Naked Rob," 103 00:04:10,093 --> 00:04:11,794 one of those dudes who loved getting nude. 104 00:04:11,862 --> 00:04:13,295 This tank top's chafing me. I got to take it off. 105 00:04:13,363 --> 00:04:15,097 - Don't! Come on. - Adam: Yo. 106 00:04:15,165 --> 00:04:17,099 What you wild cats up to tonight? 107 00:04:17,167 --> 00:04:21,470 Whatever it is, you know it'll involve some ladies! Aah! 108 00:04:21,472 --> 00:04:24,343 - How many ladies? - So many it's gonna be crazy! 109 00:04:24,345 --> 00:04:26,279 - (Laughter) - Oh, man. How crazy? 110 00:04:26,281 --> 00:04:28,781 So crazy someone may get in-jured! 111 00:04:28,783 --> 00:04:30,784 - Barry: Yo, baby! It's on, baby! - Whoo! Whoo-whoo-whoo! 112 00:04:30,786 --> 00:04:33,555 Details! Name some of the crazy stuff you guys did! 113 00:04:33,557 --> 00:04:34,824 You know how our school's always trying 114 00:04:34,826 --> 00:04:36,627 to get their hands on Germantown High mascot? 115 00:04:36,629 --> 00:04:38,229 You stole Frankie the Falcon?! 116 00:04:38,722 --> 00:04:41,757 W-well, I mean, not yet. 117 00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:44,728 But once we do it, we'll be kings of the school. 118 00:04:44,730 --> 00:04:45,664 JTP! JTP! 119 00:04:45,666 --> 00:04:46,933 JTP! JTP! 120 00:04:46,935 --> 00:04:48,869 - JTP! - Dude... 121 00:04:49,199 --> 00:04:52,968 You can't say "JTP" unless you're in the JTP. 122 00:04:53,036 --> 00:04:55,304 A man could only dream. 123 00:04:55,372 --> 00:04:57,473 JTP out! 124 00:04:57,541 --> 00:05:00,460 To the JTP, I was just a nerd obsessed with computers. 125 00:05:00,462 --> 00:05:03,564 That all changed the day "Porky's II" was sold out 126 00:05:03,566 --> 00:05:05,834 and they were forced to see "Wargames," 127 00:05:05,836 --> 00:05:07,561 a movie about a kid who hacks his way 128 00:05:07,563 --> 00:05:10,390 to better grades and almost blows up the world. 129 00:05:10,391 --> 00:05:13,005 _ 130 00:05:13,007 --> 00:05:16,625 Suddenly, they all realized that computer were awesome! 131 00:05:16,627 --> 00:05:20,063 Dude! I just saw the best movie ever! 132 00:05:20,296 --> 00:05:21,563 "Wargames." 133 00:05:21,998 --> 00:05:23,833 All this time, I thought computers 134 00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:25,801 were for lazy-eyed losers like you, 135 00:05:25,869 --> 00:05:27,970 but they're actually badass. 136 00:05:28,038 --> 00:05:30,242 - Thank you? - Can you do any of that stuff? 137 00:05:30,244 --> 00:05:32,320 I can make you a really sweet banner. 138 00:05:32,322 --> 00:05:33,257 I have print shop. 139 00:05:33,259 --> 00:05:35,367 Can you start a global thermonuclear war on this thing? 140 00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:37,503 - Probably. - Don't do it! There is no winner. 141 00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:38,938 What else? 142 00:05:38,940 --> 00:05:40,374 But what about hacking the school? 143 00:05:40,756 --> 00:05:42,156 Can you change my grades? 144 00:05:42,158 --> 00:05:46,127 Well, I would if I was in the JTP. 145 00:05:46,331 --> 00:05:48,265 Uh, it'll take some convincing 'cause the guys 146 00:05:48,458 --> 00:05:50,835 all think you suck, but... I'll make it happen. 147 00:05:50,837 --> 00:05:51,803 (Debarge's "Rhythm Of The Night" plays) 148 00:05:51,805 --> 00:05:53,632 Welcome to the Jenkintown Posse. 149 00:05:53,634 --> 00:05:55,669 While I was one step closer to coolness, 150 00:05:55,671 --> 00:05:59,734 - my mom was about to take 50 steps back. - Stop, stop. 151 00:06:02,421 --> 00:06:03,623 'Sup, ladies? 152 00:06:03,625 --> 00:06:05,708 when it feels like the world is on your shoulders 153 00:06:05,710 --> 00:06:08,043 Why are you dressed like a giant doily? 154 00:06:08,111 --> 00:06:11,313 Just expressing myself like our gal Madonna. 155 00:06:11,381 --> 00:06:13,883 Mom, that's "El" debarge. He's a dude. 156 00:06:13,950 --> 00:06:16,152 And since when do you like Madonna, anyway? 157 00:06:16,219 --> 00:06:18,721 Oh, since I heard her rockin' song about staying a virgin. 158 00:06:18,797 --> 00:06:23,365 It's very cool to wait. Is that my sixth-grade tutu? 159 00:06:23,367 --> 00:06:25,896 Mom, why... What are you doing with your hips? 160 00:06:26,218 --> 00:06:27,583 Stop it with your hips. 161 00:06:27,585 --> 00:06:29,799 Why are you moving your hips like that? 162 00:06:29,866 --> 00:06:31,700 - You can leave them all behind - Mom? Okay. 163 00:06:31,768 --> 00:06:33,102 No, mom, stop. (Click) 164 00:06:33,170 --> 00:06:35,137 Well, I just want to hang out with my girls, right? 165 00:06:35,205 --> 00:06:37,239 Um, what do you say we, uh, 166 00:06:37,307 --> 00:06:41,507 read some teen magazines and gossip about boys? 167 00:06:41,509 --> 00:06:42,742 I'll go first. 168 00:06:42,796 --> 00:06:45,078 I like Murray. You go, Lainey. 169 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:47,715 Uh, you smudged your beauty mark all over your upper lip. 170 00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:50,752 Okay, you need to go. Come on. 171 00:06:50,820 --> 00:06:52,086 What? 172 00:06:52,154 --> 00:06:55,356 You let Louise Rubin hang out. Why not the Bevernator? 173 00:06:55,358 --> 00:06:56,458 I'm fun, too! 174 00:06:56,460 --> 00:06:58,523 Of course you are, just not hang-out fun... 175 00:06:58,525 --> 00:07:00,326 More like a "I have a freckle and I need you 176 00:07:00,328 --> 00:07:01,962 to tell me if it's worth being looked at 177 00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:03,331 by a dermatologist" kind of fun. 178 00:07:03,333 --> 00:07:06,201 Every freckle is worth being looked at by a dermatologist. 179 00:07:06,401 --> 00:07:08,135 Why don't you schedule an appointment for next weekend? 180 00:07:08,203 --> 00:07:09,303 We can hang-out then, okay? 181 00:07:09,371 --> 00:07:11,238 (Sighs) Yeah. 182 00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:12,606 Adult Adam: Madonna was a bust, 183 00:07:12,674 --> 00:07:15,802 so my mom went to plan "B"... Dermatology. 184 00:07:15,804 --> 00:07:18,911 No, I can't wait six weeks to see Dr. Krogen! 185 00:07:18,913 --> 00:07:21,148 He's the last chance I have to bond with my daughter. 186 00:07:21,215 --> 00:07:22,783 Please don't take this away from me! 187 00:07:22,850 --> 00:07:24,117 I'm begging you! 188 00:07:24,119 --> 00:07:26,719 This sad display made the impossible happen... 189 00:07:26,721 --> 00:07:28,588 My dad got off his ass. 190 00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:31,558 Good news... your gonna hang with your mom tomorrow. 191 00:07:31,626 --> 00:07:33,026 (Scoffs) No freaking way. 192 00:07:33,094 --> 00:07:34,995 (Chuckling) Oh, yes freaking way. 193 00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:37,130 Or else all the things I don't care about, 194 00:07:37,198 --> 00:07:39,533 I'm gonna start having strong opinions on, 195 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,570 like your allowance... Gone! 196 00:07:42,035 --> 00:07:42,935 No! 197 00:07:42,937 --> 00:07:44,538 Curfew? 6:00 P.M. 198 00:07:44,605 --> 00:07:46,139 - What? - Skirt length? 199 00:07:46,222 --> 00:07:48,137 - No skirts! - What? 200 00:07:48,139 --> 00:07:50,599 Just pants with pleats. 201 00:07:50,601 --> 00:07:51,601 Not the pleats. 202 00:07:51,745 --> 00:07:53,723 Oh-ho. Pleats a plenty. 203 00:07:53,725 --> 00:07:57,717 Your mom is upstairs hurting, and I can't bear to watch it. 204 00:07:57,785 --> 00:08:00,987 So what's it gonna be? 205 00:08:01,055 --> 00:08:03,707 As my sister was facing a night with my mom, 206 00:08:03,709 --> 00:08:05,158 I was facing the reality 207 00:08:05,225 --> 00:08:07,121 of what hacking was in the '80s... 208 00:08:07,123 --> 00:08:08,127 (Beeping) 209 00:08:08,718 --> 00:08:10,018 Impossible. 210 00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:12,030 (Static crackling) Whoa! 211 00:08:12,032 --> 00:08:14,233 This phone is sick or something. 212 00:08:14,301 --> 00:08:16,264 Hang up! I-I'm trying to hack! 213 00:08:16,603 --> 00:08:17,936 This is a nightme. 214 00:08:18,004 --> 00:08:20,439 I mean, I'm starting to think a major motion picture 215 00:08:20,507 --> 00:08:23,342 has lied to me about the capabilities of home computers. 216 00:08:23,410 --> 00:08:25,811 O-okay, relax. How can I help? 217 00:08:25,879 --> 00:08:29,013 You can't! I'll never be in the JTP! 218 00:08:29,015 --> 00:08:32,818 Come on, Adam. You're a great kid. Those guys will learn to love you 219 00:08:32,885 --> 00:08:34,453 if you just be yourself. 220 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:36,555 Wait. Learning. 221 00:08:36,631 --> 00:08:39,285 - That's it! You're a genius! - Really? 222 00:08:39,287 --> 00:08:42,393 I-I just said some pat things to make you feel better, but I'll take it. 223 00:08:42,395 --> 00:08:44,696 If Barry and his friends wanted me to hack, 224 00:08:44,764 --> 00:08:48,667 that was exactly what I'd do... Hack their brains. 225 00:08:48,735 --> 00:08:50,832 Access granted. We're in. 226 00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:52,230 - Yes! Awesome! - Sweet! 227 00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:55,238 Okay, in order for me to hack your grades, I'll need to go in 228 00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:57,275 and input all the data that'll be on your test. 229 00:08:57,657 --> 00:08:59,824 - Wait, why would you have to do that if... - No time to argue! 230 00:08:59,826 --> 00:09:04,316 Jeff Schwartz, which significant historical event occurred in October, 1929? 231 00:09:04,318 --> 00:09:06,326 Um... The stock market crashed. 232 00:09:06,328 --> 00:09:07,950 Naked Rob, verify. 233 00:09:07,952 --> 00:09:09,319 He's right. He's right. 234 00:09:09,321 --> 00:09:11,455 Uh, it ended the jazz age and began the great depression. 235 00:09:11,523 --> 00:09:12,523 (Keyboard clacking) 236 00:09:12,590 --> 00:09:16,660 Andy Cogan, what did President Roosevelt call his program to jump-start the economy? 237 00:09:16,728 --> 00:09:21,375 - The new deal, enacted in 1933. - Okay, open your books to chapter 2. 238 00:09:21,377 --> 00:09:22,978 Go, go, go! 239 00:09:23,335 --> 00:09:24,535 Let's hack. 240 00:09:24,602 --> 00:09:26,070 Ooh. 241 00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:31,373 No, Naked Rob's right. It was Plessy vs. Ferguson. 242 00:09:33,510 --> 00:09:36,011 So awesome we didn't have to learn this crap for the test. 243 00:09:36,013 --> 00:09:37,413 Yeah. Yeah. 244 00:09:37,481 --> 00:09:40,884 They weren't a smart crew, but now they were my crew. 245 00:09:40,951 --> 00:09:44,754 Wow. That is a cauldron of cheese. 246 00:09:44,822 --> 00:09:46,523 I read about it in Tiger Beat. 247 00:09:46,590 --> 00:09:50,226 They say "fondue equals fun-due!" 248 00:09:50,294 --> 00:09:51,361 (Chuckles) Do they? 249 00:09:51,428 --> 00:09:53,429 So, let's go wild, huh? 250 00:09:53,497 --> 00:09:56,633 Uh... oh! Aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah! 251 00:09:56,700 --> 00:09:59,335 Hot, hot, hot! Hot! Aah, aah, aah, aah! 252 00:09:59,778 --> 00:10:01,379 (Snaps fingers) Excuse me? 253 00:10:01,471 --> 00:10:04,490 I'd like to report some unsafe cheese. 254 00:10:04,529 --> 00:10:07,775 What if someone tried to feed that to an infant or a dog? 255 00:10:07,777 --> 00:10:11,646 Mom, look who it is! What a coincidence! 256 00:10:11,714 --> 00:10:14,549 Erica, Mrs. Goldberg, what are you guys doing here? 257 00:10:14,617 --> 00:10:15,851 Just hangin', 258 00:10:15,918 --> 00:10:18,854 not in like a mother-daughter way, but more of like in a girlfriends way. 259 00:10:18,921 --> 00:10:20,322 Isn't that cool? 260 00:10:20,390 --> 00:10:21,490 (Chuckles) Totally. 261 00:10:21,557 --> 00:10:25,293 Speaking of cool, we're gonna go volunteer at the soup kitchen for extra credit. 262 00:10:25,361 --> 00:10:27,183 Wait a minute, Erica. 263 00:10:27,185 --> 00:10:29,029 Don't you need some extra credit? 264 00:10:29,031 --> 00:10:32,545 Thanks for looking out, Jill. You're such a good friend. 265 00:10:32,547 --> 00:10:35,082 Wow. Extra credit. (Chuckles) 266 00:10:35,704 --> 00:10:37,905 You should definitely do that. 267 00:10:37,973 --> 00:10:42,143 Say, what's the name of this soup kitchen? 268 00:10:43,116 --> 00:10:44,850 Um... 269 00:10:45,447 --> 00:10:49,316 Helping hands, uh... Feeding needy mens 270 00:10:49,384 --> 00:10:53,153 and... a lady who is also hungry. 271 00:10:53,221 --> 00:10:55,255 We should go. Yeah. 272 00:10:55,351 --> 00:10:57,457 You tried to ditch me? 273 00:10:57,459 --> 00:10:59,560 - My own daughter? - Yes! 274 00:10:59,628 --> 00:11:01,829 The only reason I'm here is because dad forced me. 275 00:11:01,896 --> 00:11:03,163 Well, I'll tell you what, buttercup... 276 00:11:03,231 --> 00:11:05,065 As of now, I'm ditching you. 277 00:11:05,133 --> 00:11:06,333 What? You can't ditch me. 278 00:11:06,401 --> 00:11:08,168 - Oh, you've been ditched. - Uh, no. 279 00:11:08,236 --> 00:11:10,437 I'm the ditcher here, not you. 280 00:11:10,505 --> 00:11:12,072 Well, the ditch got switched. 281 00:11:12,140 --> 00:11:13,507 I will not be ditched. 282 00:11:13,575 --> 00:11:15,576 The ditch is done. 283 00:11:20,586 --> 00:11:22,305 The moment had finally come. 284 00:11:22,373 --> 00:11:24,841 The JTP had accepted me into their fold. 285 00:11:24,908 --> 00:11:27,477 It was time to see how the other half lived. 286 00:11:27,544 --> 00:11:29,608 - Aah! Brain freeze! - We're insane! 287 00:11:29,610 --> 00:11:30,872 (Screams) 288 00:11:30,948 --> 00:11:32,982 (Sighs) Yeah. 289 00:11:33,050 --> 00:11:37,311 Turns out, the other half lived like a bunch of idiots. 290 00:11:37,313 --> 00:11:39,545 Ow! Dude, that hurt so bad. That was awesome. 291 00:11:39,547 --> 00:11:40,514 (Chuckles) Yeah? Yeah. 292 00:11:40,516 --> 00:11:42,091 - Uh-huh. Uh-huh. - Uh, no, man! 293 00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:44,927 Your feet and hands should be in sync. 294 00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:48,296 Go! Go! Naked Rob doing what he do! 295 00:11:48,298 --> 00:11:49,197 Yeah! 296 00:11:49,265 --> 00:11:52,766 (Indistinct conversation) 297 00:11:53,469 --> 00:11:54,870 Oh, my God! 298 00:11:54,937 --> 00:11:56,238 (Indistinct taling) 299 00:11:56,306 --> 00:11:59,941 (All talking) 300 00:12:00,009 --> 00:12:01,543 Guys, I just found a toaster in the trash can. 301 00:12:01,611 --> 00:12:03,645 Sweet! Let me throw it up in the air! 302 00:12:06,649 --> 00:12:07,582 Oh! 303 00:12:07,650 --> 00:12:08,550 Yes! 304 00:12:08,618 --> 00:12:10,385 It's more broken now! 305 00:12:10,453 --> 00:12:11,753 Madman Schwartz strikes again! 306 00:12:11,821 --> 00:12:14,523 The guys promised me girls and stolen mascots, 307 00:12:14,590 --> 00:12:17,125 but all I got was 6% dumber. 308 00:12:18,032 --> 00:12:19,895 - Hey, dad. - Bevy? 309 00:12:19,962 --> 00:12:23,827 I thought you'd be elbow deep in some hot cheese by now. 310 00:12:23,829 --> 00:12:28,727 Erica cannot even cold chill with me a single night. 311 00:12:28,871 --> 00:12:30,171 Be honest with me... 312 00:12:30,239 --> 00:12:32,373 Am I the lamest person on the planet? 313 00:12:32,441 --> 00:12:35,777 Uh... Let's get you a drink. 314 00:12:35,882 --> 00:12:37,416 Ray. 315 00:12:39,493 --> 00:12:42,081 Relax, Bevy. 316 00:12:42,083 --> 00:12:45,419 You don't need to be cool. That's what you got me for. 317 00:12:45,487 --> 00:12:49,356 But I want to be. Teach me to be cool, daddy? 318 00:12:49,424 --> 00:12:52,293 No can do. You either got it, or you don't. 319 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:53,928 'Sup, baby? 320 00:12:53,995 --> 00:12:57,398 But, hey, that doesn't mean that you can't have a good time. 321 00:12:57,465 --> 00:12:59,700 Well, I've been trying to have a good time all day, 322 00:12:59,768 --> 00:13:02,469 which is why I ate all the cheese... 323 00:13:02,537 --> 00:13:04,939 Which is sitting like a rock, by the way. 324 00:13:05,006 --> 00:13:08,409 Well, that's your problem, honey... you try too hard. 325 00:13:08,476 --> 00:13:11,478 You want fun? Well, buckle up, old man. 326 00:13:11,546 --> 00:13:12,479 (Chuckles) 327 00:13:12,547 --> 00:13:14,148 Ooh. 328 00:13:14,215 --> 00:13:17,147 Pops was right... it was time for Beverly Goldberg 329 00:13:17,149 --> 00:13:18,655 to care less and drink more. 330 00:13:18,657 --> 00:13:20,054 (Sighs) 331 00:13:20,121 --> 00:13:24,165 - (Spits) Or just stick to Daiquiris. - That was fun. 332 00:13:24,225 --> 00:13:26,961 Dude! You're our hero! 333 00:13:27,028 --> 00:13:28,928 What? Why? 334 00:13:28,930 --> 00:13:30,330 Because the hacking worked! 335 00:13:30,398 --> 00:13:31,932 We just found out we got B's on our history test. 336 00:13:31,999 --> 00:13:33,900 It's awesome! (Laughter) 337 00:13:33,968 --> 00:13:36,369 We got a bio test on Monday. Let's get hacking. 338 00:13:36,437 --> 00:13:39,506 I'd love to help, but this game doesn't have a saving function. 339 00:13:39,574 --> 00:13:41,942 If I quit now, I-I'd lose my place. 340 00:13:42,009 --> 00:13:43,310 Then lose your stupid place. 341 00:13:43,377 --> 00:13:44,878 (Beep) 342 00:13:44,946 --> 00:13:46,845 Oh, my God! 343 00:13:46,847 --> 00:13:48,748 How clueless can you guys be? 344 00:13:48,816 --> 00:13:50,450 Shut up and hack for your posse! 345 00:13:50,518 --> 00:13:52,018 Hacking isn't real. 346 00:13:52,086 --> 00:13:54,187 - What?! - Then how did we get B's? 347 00:13:54,255 --> 00:13:57,156 'Cause I actually tricked you boneheads into studying. 348 00:13:57,224 --> 00:14:00,159 Whoa. You taught us? That's so messed up, dude. 349 00:14:00,227 --> 00:14:03,999 Yeah, we trusted you and you lied to us like Senator McCarthy lied to congress 350 00:14:04,001 --> 00:14:06,664 about the threat of communism in 1953. 351 00:14:06,666 --> 00:14:09,168 And, oh, my God, why do I know this?! 352 00:14:09,235 --> 00:14:11,303 We were right about you, man. You're just a nerd. 353 00:14:11,371 --> 00:14:14,239 I'm a nerd? Well, what about you putzes? 354 00:14:14,307 --> 00:14:16,842 All you guys do is hang around in a parking lot 355 00:14:16,910 --> 00:14:18,477 hiding from girls. 356 00:14:18,545 --> 00:14:20,779 I mean, the craziest thing that happened 357 00:14:20,847 --> 00:14:22,714 was Jeff Schwartz ate a hoagie! 358 00:14:22,782 --> 00:14:26,452 In 20 seconds! Like a madman! 359 00:14:26,519 --> 00:14:29,488 He ate dinner, Barry. He ate dinner! 360 00:14:29,556 --> 00:14:30,823 You take that back! 361 00:14:30,890 --> 00:14:32,124 Andy: That's it. 362 00:14:32,192 --> 00:14:34,526 We're kicking you both out of the JTP forever. 363 00:14:34,594 --> 00:14:35,661 What?! Why me?! 364 00:14:35,728 --> 00:14:36,995 Uh, because he's your brother 365 00:14:37,063 --> 00:14:38,297 and he just shined a light on us 366 00:14:38,364 --> 00:14:39,698 that makes us question everything! 367 00:14:39,766 --> 00:14:42,434 You can't kick me out. I'm the founding member. 368 00:14:42,502 --> 00:14:44,903 Yeah, and now you're banned, like how the Volstead act 369 00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:47,239 banned alcohol from the country in 1919. 370 00:14:47,373 --> 00:14:49,207 - It's 1920, bro. - Good catch, bro. 371 00:14:49,224 --> 00:14:51,425 JTP out. 372 00:14:52,540 --> 00:14:53,879 Thanks a lot! 373 00:14:53,947 --> 00:14:56,782 While Barry went to bed angry at me, 374 00:14:56,850 --> 00:15:00,183 my sister was wide awake and about to learn 375 00:15:00,185 --> 00:15:02,987 what it felt like to be a worried, uncool mother. 376 00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:04,423 Where have you been?! 377 00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:05,892 I've been worried sick about you! 378 00:15:05,894 --> 00:15:07,562 Do you have any idea what time it is?! 379 00:15:07,564 --> 00:15:10,333 Yes. It's time to boogie. 380 00:15:10,335 --> 00:15:14,138 O-okay, honey, you've done enough bogeying for one night. 381 00:15:14,140 --> 00:15:16,074 Oh, my God. She's drunk. 382 00:15:16,535 --> 00:15:18,803 You are such a bad influence. 383 00:15:18,805 --> 00:15:21,139 - Come on. Be cool about this. - (Chuckles) 384 00:15:21,141 --> 00:15:22,675 It is not my job to be cool. 385 00:15:22,677 --> 00:15:24,727 You are not hanging out with her again. Understood? 386 00:15:24,729 --> 00:15:27,102 Wait, this is important. This is important. 387 00:15:27,104 --> 00:15:28,171 What? 388 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:31,716 I love you, too, mommy. 389 00:15:31,784 --> 00:15:33,551 Okay, you can handle it from here. 390 00:15:33,619 --> 00:15:34,919 I got a meter running. 391 00:15:34,987 --> 00:15:36,921 Woof. Okay, she is a train wreck. 392 00:15:36,989 --> 00:15:38,723 Please do not leave me alone with her. 393 00:15:38,791 --> 00:15:40,892 Your mother's taken care of you your whole life. 394 00:15:40,959 --> 00:15:43,513 The least you can do is take care of her for one night. 395 00:15:43,515 --> 00:15:45,816 Beverly: Yeah! And you know what else? 396 00:15:46,165 --> 00:15:47,965 Whoo-whoo. 397 00:15:50,141 --> 00:15:51,942 (Snoring) 398 00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:56,479 Mom, I want waffles. 399 00:15:56,547 --> 00:15:58,148 Mom, waffles. 400 00:15:58,216 --> 00:15:59,849 Mom, waffles. 401 00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:02,619 Mom, waffles, mom, waffles, mom, waffles. 402 00:16:02,687 --> 00:16:04,054 Hey, get away! 403 00:16:04,121 --> 00:16:05,689 I just got her down. 404 00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:08,258 Adam: I got you covered in here, big guy! 405 00:16:08,638 --> 00:16:11,339 "I am sor"? 406 00:16:11,341 --> 00:16:13,128 It's supposed to say "sorry." 407 00:16:13,130 --> 00:16:16,799 I ran out of ink, and even this took me an hour to print. 408 00:16:17,288 --> 00:16:18,722 I made waffles. 409 00:16:18,724 --> 00:16:22,526 Your apology's not accepted! You made me lose my crew! 410 00:16:22,528 --> 00:16:24,773 Okay, so maybe we weren't the coolest, 411 00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:27,143 and madman Jeff Schwartz isn't that crazy, 412 00:16:27,211 --> 00:16:29,245 and Naked Rob's got real problems, 413 00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:31,246 but (Sighs) I don't know. 414 00:16:31,248 --> 00:16:32,949 I've never had close friends before. 415 00:16:34,005 --> 00:16:36,651 - Then you just got to make it up to them. - How?! 416 00:16:36,653 --> 00:16:39,822 We do the one thing the JTP never had the guts to do... 417 00:16:39,890 --> 00:16:42,224 Steal the Germantown mascot. 418 00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:44,393 Never surrender 419 00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:46,462 (Beep) 420 00:16:47,731 --> 00:16:49,365 (Keyboard clacking) 421 00:16:52,302 --> 00:16:53,903 (Printer whirring) 422 00:16:58,842 --> 00:17:00,943 Radical! 423 00:17:01,011 --> 00:17:04,180 (Tires squeal) you were born a fighter 424 00:17:04,182 --> 00:17:09,547 in the bird, a mighty warrior 425 00:17:09,549 --> 00:17:12,118 driven by desire 426 00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:13,688 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 427 00:17:13,755 --> 00:17:16,490 Glory calls, it's waiting for you 428 00:17:16,558 --> 00:17:17,758 when your back's against the wall 429 00:17:17,826 --> 00:17:19,193 Class started five minutes ago. 430 00:17:19,261 --> 00:17:21,228 (Sighs) 431 00:17:21,296 --> 00:17:22,763 Here you go, my good man. 432 00:17:22,846 --> 00:17:27,450 - Hall pass. - Never surrender, never say die 433 00:17:27,502 --> 00:17:29,503 - Get to class. - you've got the heart of a hero 434 00:17:29,571 --> 00:17:32,473 never surrender 435 00:17:32,541 --> 00:17:34,275 the will to survive 436 00:17:34,342 --> 00:17:35,443 (Falcon calls) 437 00:17:35,510 --> 00:17:37,912 Slow down! You're making it nervous! 438 00:17:37,979 --> 00:17:40,181 This is awesome! 439 00:17:40,248 --> 00:17:41,348 Not awesome! 440 00:17:41,416 --> 00:17:42,950 I thought you were stealing a costume, 441 00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:44,251 not a real freaking falcon! 442 00:17:44,319 --> 00:17:46,458 (Whimpers) Oh, crap! (Laughs) 443 00:17:49,157 --> 00:17:51,784 Erica: Good morning, sunshine. 444 00:17:51,786 --> 00:17:53,253 Feel as good as you look? 445 00:17:53,255 --> 00:17:55,425 I am so sorry about last night. 446 00:17:55,427 --> 00:17:57,598 I hope I didn't do anything too embarrassing. 447 00:17:57,666 --> 00:18:00,081 Well, you cried and said "I love you" a lot, 448 00:18:00,083 --> 00:18:01,901 so no different from normal. 449 00:18:01,903 --> 00:18:03,603 What was I thinking? 450 00:18:03,671 --> 00:18:06,773 You were thinking that I'm awful for trying to ditch you. 451 00:18:06,775 --> 00:18:10,005 No. You're wonderful. 452 00:18:10,309 --> 00:18:12,978 You took care of your mom all night long. 453 00:18:12,980 --> 00:18:17,206 Hey, that was just for one night, and I wanted to die. 454 00:18:17,208 --> 00:18:20,419 Somehow, you do it every day for all of us, 455 00:18:21,341 --> 00:18:23,472 and that's actually pretty cool. 456 00:18:23,474 --> 00:18:26,943 (Debarge's "Rhythm Of The Night" plays) 457 00:18:30,358 --> 00:18:31,992 I love you so much. 458 00:18:31,994 --> 00:18:33,323 Are you still drunk? 459 00:18:33,325 --> 00:18:36,683 - Just buzzed. - But every "I love you" is for real. 460 00:18:36,685 --> 00:18:39,504 Oh, feel the beat of the rhythm of the night 461 00:18:39,506 --> 00:18:41,240 dance until the morning light 462 00:18:41,308 --> 00:18:43,109 forget about the worries on your mind 463 00:18:43,176 --> 00:18:44,443 you can leave them all behind 464 00:18:44,511 --> 00:18:47,313 Dude, Goldberg stole the Germantown High mascot. 465 00:18:47,381 --> 00:18:48,714 Couldn't have done it alone, Ari. 466 00:18:48,782 --> 00:18:51,584 This was the work of the JTP. 467 00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:53,252 - Oh, oh, yeah - Yes! 468 00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:57,757 All: JTP, JTP, JTP! 469 00:18:57,824 --> 00:19:03,062 JTP, JTP, JTP, JTP, JTP! 470 00:19:03,130 --> 00:19:06,365 Yep, with a little help from me and Apple II Plus, 471 00:19:06,433 --> 00:19:08,534 Barry was back in the JTP. 472 00:19:08,602 --> 00:19:12,004 Why do they make him wear this stupid bird hat anyway? 473 00:19:12,072 --> 00:19:13,939 All: JTP! JTP! 474 00:19:14,007 --> 00:19:16,542 Feel the beat of the rhythm of the night 475 00:19:16,610 --> 00:19:18,862 - dance until the morning light - He'll come back. 476 00:19:18,864 --> 00:19:20,680 - Forget about the worries on your mind - (Falcon calls) 477 00:19:20,747 --> 00:19:22,722 You can leave them all behind 478 00:19:22,724 --> 00:19:24,281 feel the beat of the rhythm of the night 479 00:19:24,283 --> 00:19:25,984 That's the thing about family. 480 00:19:26,052 --> 00:19:27,986 They may not be the coolest cats on the planet, 481 00:19:28,054 --> 00:19:30,455 but they're always there to take care of you 482 00:19:30,523 --> 00:19:31,823 when you need them most. 483 00:19:31,891 --> 00:19:34,025 Oh, oh, yeah 484 00:19:34,093 --> 00:19:35,827 Hey, what you up to? 485 00:19:35,895 --> 00:19:36,828 Mom got a new toaster. 486 00:19:36,896 --> 00:19:38,330 Thought I'd maybe call the JTP. 487 00:19:38,397 --> 00:19:40,398 - And we'd have some fun. - Cool. 488 00:19:43,936 --> 00:19:47,138 Actually, you know what would be even more fun? 489 00:19:47,206 --> 00:19:48,974 If just you and me broke it together. 490 00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:51,875 Just us? Are you serious? 491 00:19:51,877 --> 00:19:54,445 As serious as Truman was about the Taft-Hartley act. 492 00:19:54,513 --> 00:19:57,682 Feel the beat of the rhythm of the night 493 00:19:57,749 --> 00:19:59,417 - dance until the morning light - Okay, here. 494 00:19:59,484 --> 00:20:00,952 Forget about the worries on your mind 495 00:20:01,019 --> 00:20:03,554 Friends may come and go, but when it comes to family, 496 00:20:03,622 --> 00:20:06,691 they'll always be there, watching over you. 497 00:20:06,758 --> 00:20:08,025 Dance until the morning light 498 00:20:08,093 --> 00:20:10,528 forget about the worries on your mind 499 00:20:13,165 --> 00:20:14,699 Number one, dad. He's number one. 500 00:20:14,766 --> 00:20:16,400 (Ding!) 501 00:20:16,468 --> 00:20:19,070 You're stewed, buttwad. That's from "weird science." 502 00:20:19,137 --> 00:20:20,771 (Ding!) 503 00:20:20,839 --> 00:20:22,940 Ahh! (Laughs) 504 00:20:23,008 --> 00:20:24,642 (Ding!) 505 00:20:24,710 --> 00:20:27,245 So we can look back in a hundred years from now 506 00:20:27,312 --> 00:20:28,913 and say, "hey, we had a great life." 507 00:20:28,981 --> 00:20:32,082 Boys: JTP, JTP! 508 00:20:32,557 --> 00:20:35,052 You know, I like little houses and big trees. That's... 509 00:20:35,558 --> 00:20:39,091 Guess what. I went back to the photo kiosk at the mall. 510 00:20:39,093 --> 00:20:41,862 And I scored you all some pretty sweet stuff. 511 00:20:41,929 --> 00:20:44,231 For Murray, 512 00:20:44,298 --> 00:20:48,735 a tie so we can be with you all day long at work. 513 00:20:48,803 --> 00:20:50,871 I think you're missing the point of work. 514 00:20:50,938 --> 00:20:54,207 For Adam, a pillow with my face 515 00:20:54,275 --> 00:20:57,644 so I can give you snuggies all night long. 516 00:20:57,672 --> 00:20:59,036 Yes. I'll sleep easy now. 517 00:20:59,038 --> 00:21:03,901 For Barry, a big, tasty hat for your big, tasty head. 518 00:21:03,903 --> 00:21:06,938 - Nice! - And finally, Erica. 519 00:21:07,139 --> 00:21:10,073 I know you're all cool and would never wear 520 00:21:10,075 --> 00:21:13,481 any of these stuffs. So I just got you cash. 521 00:21:14,317 --> 00:21:16,317 Oh my God! I love you! 522 00:21:18,310 --> 00:21:20,159 What the hell is this? 523 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:21,471 Bevbucks. 524 00:21:21,473 --> 00:21:23,473 - You trade them for kisses. - No. 525 00:21:23,473 --> 00:21:24,737 - First one's free. - Take it back. 526 00:21:24,738 --> 00:21:26,738 - First one's free. Gizzy, gizzy, gizzy. - I don't want it. 527 00:21:26,740 --> 00:21:28,740 sync and correction by solfieri www.addic7ed.com 528 00:21:28,790 --> 00:21:33,340 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39929

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