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1
00:00:01,133 --> 00:00:04,702
Back in the '80s, before
pilates and macrobiotic diets,
2
00:00:04,704 --> 00:00:08,006
Old people were old, except for one,
3
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,240
My grandfather.
4
00:00:09,242 --> 00:00:11,876
He was a man who loved riskand took chances.
5
00:00:11,878 --> 00:00:15,613
Get there! Get there! Yes!
Come on, come on, come on!
6
00:00:15,615 --> 00:00:18,082
He was a connoisseur of fine spirits.
7
00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:20,451
Oh! Muy bueno.
8
00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:23,388
In a word, my grandfather was awesome.
9
00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,656
That's game, kiddo.
Better luck next time.
10
00:00:25,658 --> 00:00:27,992
Come on, pops.
Let me win at least one.
11
00:00:27,994 --> 00:00:29,660
That's a terrible lesson.
12
00:00:29,662 --> 00:00:31,696
I'm gonna beat your ass again real quick.
13
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,899
And in wintertime, when his
friends retreated to florida,
14
00:00:34,901 --> 00:00:37,101
That's when we always sawa lot more of him.
15
00:00:37,103 --> 00:00:40,805
Bev, look at this!
Billy joel's coming to town.
16
00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:41,706
You gotta see this!
17
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,342
Not now, dad. I've got
three lunches to make.
18
00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:46,811
Look at this picture of him.
19
00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:50,248
He's wearing the exact same
sunglasses as I am. Yeah.
20
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:53,885
Oh, yeah. I'm gonna call for tickets.
21
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:54,452
Bevy!
22
00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:56,087
Where's my other black sock?
23
00:00:56,089 --> 00:00:56,888
In your sock drawer.
24
00:00:56,890 --> 00:01:00,725
That drawer is a wasteland of
unmatched pairs. It's chaos!
25
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:01,859
Then wear a different pair.
26
00:01:01,861 --> 00:01:04,328
I've already got my black one on!
27
00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:05,663
This is a nightmare!
28
00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:08,199
My tooth! My tooth!
29
00:01:08,201 --> 00:01:10,234
How do you hurt yourself eating cereal?
30
00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:11,436
I bit the free toy!
31
00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:15,540
If it doesn't look like
cereal, don't chew on it.
32
00:01:15,841 --> 00:01:16,874
Dad, you're in the way!
33
00:01:16,876 --> 00:01:18,843
I'm just calling the ticket broker.
34
00:01:18,845 --> 00:01:21,245
You and me are gonna sit front and center.
35
00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:23,414
Dad, can you please go in the den?
36
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:25,349
Everywhere I step, there you are.
37
00:01:25,351 --> 00:01:26,717
You're underfoot.
38
00:01:26,719 --> 00:01:29,687
And billy joel can wait. Bye.
39
00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:30,755
Whoa!
40
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,523
Don't say "bye."
41
00:01:32,525 --> 00:01:34,258
Your s.A.T. Prep course
is at 4:00,
42
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:35,827
So get your ass home after school.
43
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:37,462
I don't know what you're saying.
44
00:01:37,464 --> 00:01:39,564
Well, take off your walkboy.
45
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:40,965
It's called a "walkman."
46
00:01:40,967 --> 00:01:42,900
Oh, now you can hear me?
47
00:01:42,902 --> 00:01:43,601
I wish I couldn't.
48
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:46,237
The tickets are all sold out.
49
00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:49,707
Let's roam around the bad neighborhoods
50
00:01:49,709 --> 00:01:51,242
Until we find a scalper.
51
00:01:51,244 --> 00:01:53,077
Dad, I've got 17 loads of laundry to do.
52
00:01:53,079 --> 00:01:56,214
I'm gonna go put on my shoes,
and I'll wait in the car.
53
00:01:56,216 --> 00:01:59,417
All right, bevy, today I
went with the blue socks,
54
00:01:59,419 --> 00:02:01,586
But we're just kicking
the can down the road.
55
00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:02,286
Can you do me a favor?
56
00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:04,222
Take my dad to work with you today.
57
00:02:04,224 --> 00:02:06,824
He's been retired 10 years.
Why would he want to do that?
58
00:02:06,826 --> 00:02:08,893
I don't care what he wants.
I want him out of here.
59
00:02:08,895 --> 00:02:11,028
Go ask him.
60
00:02:11,030 --> 00:02:11,929
Hey, albert.
61
00:02:11,931 --> 00:02:15,900
How would you like to come to
the store with me today? Nah.
62
00:02:16,335 --> 00:02:17,768
Well, I tried.
63
00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:18,469
He's your problem now.
64
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:19,971
My parents were together so long,
65
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:24,242
They could have an entire fight
all about you, inches away,
66
00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:25,910
Without ever making a sound.
67
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:30,615
Hey, albert, vic and the guys were
just talking with me the other day,
68
00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:33,784
And, they were saying how much
they'd love you to stop by.
69
00:02:33,786 --> 00:02:38,189
We all would. For god sake,
murray, can't you take a hint?
70
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:40,358
I don't wanna go.
I understand.
71
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:44,095
And sometimes it only took a look.
72
00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:45,463
But I insist.
73
00:02:45,465 --> 00:02:46,898
Fine.
74
00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:50,601
I'm twisted up inside
75
00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:55,673
but nonetheless I feel the need to say
76
00:02:57,276 --> 00:02:58,009
I don't know the future
77
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:01,612
but the past keeps gettingclearer every day
78
00:03:01,614 --> 00:03:04,382
- It was January 11th,- 1980-something,
79
00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:06,751
And pops was headed backto his old stomping grounds.
80
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:11,322
Hey, vic. Look at this hobo I
found out wandering the street.
81
00:03:11,324 --> 00:03:14,292
You kidding me?
82
00:03:14,294 --> 00:03:15,326
Do my eyes deceive me?
83
00:03:15,328 --> 00:03:18,062
Okay.
84
00:03:18,064 --> 00:03:20,164
I'm easy.
Try picking up that one.
85
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:23,434
Hell, no. Yeah, go ahead. Bust my balls.
86
00:03:23,436 --> 00:03:24,402
That's what we do.
87
00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:27,171
My god, look at this place.
88
00:03:27,173 --> 00:03:28,739
I barely recognize it.
89
00:03:28,741 --> 00:03:32,143
Yeah, I made some upgrades,
expanded the showroom,
90
00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:33,411
Put in track lighting.
91
00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:34,712
What the hell's that?
92
00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:37,982
We do all our inventory on computers now.
93
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:39,750
What is this, the star wars?
94
00:03:39,752 --> 00:03:41,419
What about sheila the redhead,
95
00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:43,454
Who comes in saturdays to do the books?
96
00:03:43,456 --> 00:03:44,655
Oh, I got rid of her.
What?
97
00:03:44,657 --> 00:03:46,824
Yeah, she'd been stealing
from us for years.
98
00:03:46,826 --> 00:03:49,193
That's the price you pay for great gams.
99
00:03:49,195 --> 00:03:51,262
Now all you have to look at is vic.
100
00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:53,164
Oh, you've never seen my gams.
101
00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:53,831
Oh, yeah, softball.
102
00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:57,501
What's next, you give
vic's job to a robot?
103
00:03:57,503 --> 00:03:58,936
I gotta see my office.
104
00:03:58,938 --> 00:04:00,371
Hey, come here a second.
105
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:03,574
Listen, um... I want you
to spend the day with him.
106
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:07,078
He's got a lot of energy,
and he tends to get underfoot.
107
00:04:08,780 --> 00:04:11,649
Hey, you've got new glass shelves, too!
108
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:13,184
While pops was tiring out my dad,
109
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:18,189
I was trying to keep up with my
long-time crush, dana caldwell.
110
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:20,258
You let me win!
111
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:24,729
Yeah. That's what I did.
112
00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:25,763
Oh, boy.
113
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:26,497
I should get going.
114
00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:29,200
I've gotta read to kill a
mockingbird for english.
115
00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:32,803
You know, I got the cliffsnotes in my room.
You wanna borrow 'em?
116
00:04:32,805 --> 00:04:34,338
Okay.
117
00:04:34,573 --> 00:04:36,007
Yep, it was happening.
118
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:39,176
I had a girl in my bedroomfor the very first time.
119
00:04:39,178 --> 00:04:40,911
Here you go.
Thank you.
120
00:04:40,913 --> 00:04:43,214
So... This is
your room?
121
00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:46,851
This was it. The momentevery man waits for.
122
00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:48,185
Time to show her what goes down
123
00:04:48,187 --> 00:04:50,454
In adam goldberg's private quarters.
124
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:53,858
This is where the magic happens.
125
00:04:56,528 --> 00:04:57,862
Voila.
126
00:04:57,864 --> 00:05:00,364
Oh, what's that behind your ear?
127
00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:03,567
Soft red ball.
Just a little taste.
128
00:05:03,569 --> 00:05:04,802
Do you like transformers?
129
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,771
What are they again?
130
00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:09,940
Hello. They're robots
in disguise.
131
00:05:09,942 --> 00:05:11,942
It's an exciting time in the franchise.
132
00:05:11,944 --> 00:05:14,211
They're branching out from vehicles
133
00:05:14,213 --> 00:05:15,946
To dinosaurs and insects.
134
00:05:15,948 --> 00:05:17,315
That is exciting.
135
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:20,384
Do you like he-man?
I guess.
136
00:05:21,119 --> 00:05:22,987
Castle grayskull.
137
00:05:23,555 --> 00:05:26,891
Skeletor lives there.
Whatever.
138
00:05:27,726 --> 00:05:29,160
Do you like g.I. Joe?
139
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,561
Don't answer yet.
140
00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:32,563
Right this way.
141
00:05:33,732 --> 00:05:36,934
Behold,
the u. S.S. Flagg.
142
00:05:36,936 --> 00:05:39,470
That takes up a lot of room.
143
00:05:39,472 --> 00:05:41,872
Well, yeah.
It's an aircraft carrier.
144
00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:43,574
It's meant to hold aircraft.
145
00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:45,042
It's all right there in the name.
146
00:05:45,044 --> 00:05:47,311
Yep, this was going perfectly.
147
00:05:47,313 --> 00:05:50,781
But what happened nextwould really rock my world.
148
00:05:54,519 --> 00:05:56,354
I gotta go.
149
00:05:57,957 --> 00:05:59,957
Thank you for your time!
150
00:05:59,959 --> 00:06:03,194
...I said for noreason at all!
151
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,061
As baffled as I was,
152
00:06:04,063 --> 00:06:05,329
My dad was even more confused
153
00:06:05,331 --> 00:06:08,332
When he got back from his lunch break.
Little bit higher, vic.
154
00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:08,899
Almost got it.
155
00:06:08,901 --> 00:06:11,736
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the
hell is going on here?
156
00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:12,870
Going out of business?
157
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,872
Damn it. I was gonna surprise you.
158
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:17,141
We don't go for these gimmicks anymore.
159
00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:18,943
It's a proven sales technique.
160
00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:21,712
I'm just juicing things up a bit.
161
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:24,849
It's not a furniture store now.
162
00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:25,783
It's a hip lounge.
163
00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:27,885
Number one, it is a furniture store.
164
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:33,657
Number two, the two biggest enemies
of furniture are smoke and coffee.
165
00:06:33,659 --> 00:06:35,126
And jheri curl juice.
166
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:35,693
Three enemies!
167
00:06:35,695 --> 00:06:39,330
Who wants jazz?
168
00:06:40,365 --> 00:06:42,800
Okay. What the hell
is going on here?
169
00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:46,504
You were supposed to play gin rummy
with him in the backroom all day.
170
00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:48,038
Nah, he wouldn't stay put.
171
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:51,142
That old man's got so much
energy and charisma.
172
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:55,079
Now you can learn a thing
or two from him. -
173
00:06:57,582 --> 00:07:00,050
Charisma.
174
00:07:00,052 --> 00:07:02,686
I don't know what happened.
It was going so great.
175
00:07:02,688 --> 00:07:05,723
And then she just ran off for no reason.
176
00:07:05,725 --> 00:07:06,424
Why would she do that?
177
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:09,727
'Cause no girl on this planet would
ever wanna make out in this room.
178
00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:13,697
Seriously, it looks like
a nerd bomb went off in here.
179
00:07:13,699 --> 00:07:16,434
I hate to admit it, but the idiot's right.
180
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,468
It was the toys.
181
00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:18,335
So my toys freaked her out?
182
00:07:18,337 --> 00:07:21,172
The fact that you have toys
freaked her out.
183
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:23,274
Listen, chicks like waterbeds
184
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:28,379
And samurai swords that elegantly
hang over a fireplace.
185
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:29,547
It's a scientific fact.
186
00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:31,949
He's still an idiot.
But he's right.
187
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:34,685
If you want dana to like
you, lose the toys.
188
00:07:34,687 --> 00:07:36,287
I can't.
They're like family.
189
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:40,691
What would you rather touch?
A boob or a dinobot?
190
00:07:41,927 --> 00:07:42,993
You took too long!
191
00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:44,328
The answer is clearly "boob."
192
00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:48,632
You're in seventh grade, bud.
It's time to grow up.
193
00:07:50,101 --> 00:07:50,634
She's right.
194
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:55,339
From now on, you gotta stop playing
with toys and start acting like a man.
195
00:07:55,341 --> 00:07:58,609
First step, drakkar noir.
196
00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:01,612
No woman can resist its alluring stink.
197
00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:06,183
Now you never apply it
directly onto your own skin.
198
00:08:06,185 --> 00:08:09,820
You simply mist...
199
00:08:09,888 --> 00:08:10,688
And walk through.
200
00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:13,757
While my lesson on howto be a man had just begun,
201
00:08:13,759 --> 00:08:18,395
My dad was happy his daywith pops had come to an end.
202
00:08:19,364 --> 00:08:20,498
There you are.
203
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,067
How'd it go with my dad?
Did you have a good time?
204
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:23,701
Give me a minute.
205
00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:26,604
Can't a man take off his pants?
206
00:08:26,905 --> 00:08:28,772
Have you been smoking?
207
00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:29,673
A cigar?
208
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:32,243
Two! With some low-end cognac.
209
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:38,349
Your dad turned my discount furniture
store into the copacabana.
210
00:08:38,683 --> 00:08:41,185
Oh. I'm nauseous.
211
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,319
Well, thank you for doing that.
212
00:08:42,321 --> 00:08:45,322
You owe me. I'd like, some shrimp parm...
213
00:08:45,324 --> 00:08:47,358
With extra shrimp and extra parm.
214
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,159
I thought you said you were nauseous.
215
00:08:49,161 --> 00:08:49,827
I'll fight through it.
216
00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:51,095
Okay, you got it.
I'm not moving.
217
00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:54,532
I'm gonna eat right here. All
right, don't be such a baby.
218
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,066
It was only for one day.
219
00:08:56,068 --> 00:08:58,235
Or so she thought.
220
00:08:58,237 --> 00:08:59,803
That one day turned into two.
221
00:08:59,805 --> 00:09:02,139
...Kroehler sofas
for half that price.
222
00:09:02,141 --> 00:09:05,643
Well, it's fine. I got some
good leads in the rolodex.
223
00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:06,944
Al, what are you doing?
224
00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:08,312
What do you know?
225
00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:10,848
You found some at that price.
226
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:12,016
Yeah, I'll take 'em all.
227
00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:16,020
And those two days wouldturn into the longest week
228
00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:18,188
Of my father's life.
229
00:09:19,591 --> 00:09:20,324
Now that I was a man,
230
00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:22,726
It was time to break some tough
news to some old friends.
231
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:26,897
Sorry, lion-o. Sorry, cheetara.
It's time to grow up.
232
00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:29,800
Thundercats ho!
233
00:09:29,802 --> 00:09:30,935
And after five trips,
234
00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:33,671
I had successfully packed up all my toys.
235
00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:34,605
Mom, I'm going out.
236
00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:36,874
Wear your jacket and your muffs.
237
00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:37,775
I'm a grown man!
238
00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:39,910
And I was on a mission.
239
00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:44,648
A mission to prove that the geeky
little kid in me was gone forever.
240
00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:46,850
Literally, nothing could stop me.
241
00:09:46,852 --> 00:09:47,851
It's actually kind of cold out.
242
00:09:47,853 --> 00:09:50,521
Oh, your nose is all pink
like a little kitten.
243
00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:52,056
Mom.
Meow.
244
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:53,657
Stop.
Meow, meow, meow!
245
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:55,459
Stop it.
246
00:09:57,796 --> 00:09:59,930
Oh. Hey.
247
00:10:02,334 --> 00:10:02,700
Howdy.
248
00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:08,272
So... The other day when
you were over at my house,
249
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:09,073
You ran off so fast,
250
00:10:09,075 --> 00:10:11,842
That I didn't get a chance
to tell you something.
251
00:10:12,110 --> 00:10:13,344
The reason why I showed you my toys was
252
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:18,449
'cause I've outgrown 'em, and I thought
maybe your little brother might like 'em.
253
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,517
You really wanna give all your toys away?
254
00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:22,353
Yeah, I've been meaning
to do it for years,
255
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:24,521
Plus I need to clear some shelf space
256
00:10:24,523 --> 00:10:28,492
For my cologne, beer can
collection, and jock straps.
257
00:10:28,494 --> 00:10:29,827
Well, that's so nice of you.
258
00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:33,764
Dougie, adam goldberg brought
a whole bunch of toys for you.
259
00:10:34,799 --> 00:10:36,266
Cool!
260
00:10:37,902 --> 00:10:39,136
Awesome!
261
00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:41,205
Had it. Have it.
262
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:42,039
Sell it.
263
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:43,507
Have it.
264
00:10:43,509 --> 00:10:45,109
Wanna come in?
265
00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:47,044
Sure.
Okay.
266
00:10:52,517 --> 00:10:54,818
Now listen and listen good,
you little putz.
267
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:57,388
That's sergeant slaughter
of the renegade squadron,
268
00:10:57,390 --> 00:11:02,292
And you're gonna treat him and all my
toys with the respect that they deserve,
269
00:11:02,294 --> 00:11:03,727
Or so help me, I...
270
00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:05,162
Adam? You coming?
271
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,264
Hey, you bet.
272
00:11:08,466 --> 00:11:09,566
I'd given up my toys,
273
00:11:09,568 --> 00:11:14,438
But pops wasn't giving up on
his big plans for the store.
274
00:11:14,639 --> 00:11:15,806
You busy?
275
00:11:15,808 --> 00:11:16,473
Does it matter?
276
00:11:16,475 --> 00:11:23,814
Well, I just discovered that the key to
our success has been here all the time.
277
00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:28,752
Back in the old days, before I hired you,
278
00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:32,656
I had an ad running on the local tv.
279
00:11:32,658 --> 00:11:33,390
Business boomed.
280
00:11:33,392 --> 00:11:35,526
Okay, before you say anything else,
281
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:40,964
Just know that making a commercial
is way too expensive for us.
282
00:11:40,966 --> 00:11:43,033
Way ahead of you, mur.
283
00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:44,168
That's why we use this.
284
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:48,806
Hey there, ladies. Put down those
vacuum cleaners for a second.
285
00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:50,908
Big al's got something to say.
286
00:11:52,844 --> 00:11:54,678
When your man comes home at night,
287
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:56,513
Don't you want him to see furniture
288
00:11:56,515 --> 00:12:00,651
That looks just as gorgeous as you do?
289
00:12:01,319 --> 00:12:02,786
Hey.
290
00:12:03,321 --> 00:12:04,421
Thanks, sheila.
291
00:12:04,423 --> 00:12:10,594
Down at the ottoman empire, we
got sofas starting at $35.99.
292
00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:12,262
Can you buy on credit?You bet!
293
00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:14,231
With your husband's signature, of course.
294
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:19,303
So come on downand let big al service you.
295
00:12:23,942 --> 00:12:24,808
I think it holds up pretty well.
296
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:30,080
I think it's amazing that there
was a time when that was okay.
297
00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:31,815
We're not running this commercial.
298
00:12:31,817 --> 00:12:38,522
Albert, you worked so hard making
ottoman empire what it is today,
299
00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:40,791
But don't you think now is the time
300
00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:47,264
To do things like play golf or
take a steam or feed the pigeons?
301
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:48,665
Pigeons.
302
00:12:48,733 --> 00:12:50,400
That does sound fun.
303
00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:52,736
We agree? No commercial?
304
00:12:52,738 --> 00:12:55,973
No commercial.
I totally get it.
305
00:12:55,975 --> 00:12:57,741
But he didn't get it.
306
00:12:57,743 --> 00:13:00,177
Quiet on the set!
307
00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:02,045
Damn it, albert.
308
00:13:02,047 --> 00:13:03,213
What did I say?
309
00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:06,250
You're gonna love this commercial, mur.
310
00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:07,251
I'm insane albert.
311
00:13:07,253 --> 00:13:12,356
I price my furniture so low,
I require hospitalization.
312
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:13,857
He's crazy al.
313
00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:16,560
Yeah, I get it.
No commercial!
314
00:13:16,562 --> 00:13:17,361
Send everybody home.
315
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:22,266
Oh, I can't do that. I already hired
the crew, bought this straitjacket.
316
00:13:22,268 --> 00:13:23,967
It is cheaper than renting it.
317
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,969
Vic, go away...
318
00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:28,105
Far away.
Vic, you stay.
319
00:13:28,107 --> 00:13:31,842
He's the orderly that wheels
me back into the loony bin
320
00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:34,978
'cause my prices are bananas.
321
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:36,914
Come here, albert.
322
00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:40,484
Look, I've tried being
nice to you all week.
323
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:41,385
I can't do it anymore.
324
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:45,222
You gotta take off the
straitjacket and go home.
325
00:13:45,224 --> 00:13:46,089
Please!
326
00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:47,958
I didn't wanna play this card,
327
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,494
But I do own 51% of the business,
328
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,362
So the decision is mine.
329
00:13:52,364 --> 00:13:53,163
What are you saying?
330
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:56,200
This commercial is happening
whether you like it or not.
331
00:13:56,202 --> 00:13:57,067
Now if you'll excuse me,
332
00:13:57,069 --> 00:14:01,939
I have to go back and get into
my mentally unstable character.
333
00:14:03,007 --> 00:14:05,509
You got that covered.
334
00:14:10,148 --> 00:14:12,616
Honey, what happened to all your toys?
335
00:14:12,618 --> 00:14:14,685
Gave 'em away.
It's cool.
336
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:15,452
Hey.
337
00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:18,121
Can you float me roughly $2,000?
338
00:14:18,123 --> 00:14:18,856
May I ask for what?
339
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:21,491
A waterbed and a decorative
samurai sword to hang above it.
340
00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:25,128
A samurai sword will fall off the
wall in the middle of the night,
341
00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:27,331
Poke your eye out, puncture the mattress,
342
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,233
And then you'll drown in your sleep.
343
00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:31,134
Is that a "no"?
Yes, that's a "no."
344
00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:34,938
Honey, you can't give your toys away.
You love 'em so much.
345
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:36,974
Toys are kids' stuff.
346
00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:37,541
I'm a man now.
347
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,643
As of yesterday.
348
00:14:39,645 --> 00:14:42,246
A very happy, happy man.
349
00:14:46,584 --> 00:14:49,620
That's barry's smell.
Why do you smell like barry?
350
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:52,155
It's drakkar noir.
He gave it to me.
351
00:14:52,157 --> 00:14:54,591
I love to spend money on a girl...
352
00:14:54,593 --> 00:14:56,026
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
353
00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:59,429
What the hell?
What did you two idiots do?
354
00:14:59,431 --> 00:15:01,131
That could mean so many things.
355
00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:05,469
Why did my scrumptious little
baby give away all his toys?
356
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:06,803
We just told him the truth, mom.
357
00:15:06,805 --> 00:15:10,841
Yeah. He'll never get any action
with his room full of toys.
358
00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:13,510
He doesn't need any action.
He's a little boy.
359
00:15:13,512 --> 00:15:15,412
I'm going over there right now
and getting his toys back.
360
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:18,649
If you do, you're gonna
cost him his first girlfriend.
361
00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:21,518
He doesn't need a girlfriend.
He's got me.
362
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:22,386
Ew.
Yuck.
363
00:15:22,388 --> 00:15:25,489
I didn't mean girlfriend.
I meant...
364
00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:27,057
Main lady.
365
00:15:27,225 --> 00:15:27,925
That is so much worse.
366
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:33,130
I meant woman in his life that
he loves more than anyone else.
367
00:15:33,132 --> 00:15:35,265
Mom, you're in free fall.
Pull the rip cord.
368
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:37,301
I'm going over there
to get those toys back.
369
00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:40,737
You two are grounded for a year.
370
00:15:40,739 --> 00:15:43,240
You hear me? A year.
371
00:15:43,441 --> 00:15:47,044
Glad you messed with me?
You should know better.
372
00:15:47,145 --> 00:15:48,812
Hey there.
373
00:15:48,814 --> 00:15:50,981
What great old toys.
374
00:15:51,082 --> 00:15:51,915
I'm from a local charity,
375
00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:55,385
And I was wondering if you'd
take 20 whole dollars for them.
376
00:15:55,387 --> 00:15:57,554
You're adam goldberg's mother.
377
00:15:57,556 --> 00:16:00,023
Okay, I didn't know you knew that.
378
00:16:00,959 --> 00:16:02,192
Listen...
379
00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:06,063
My son adam is at
a transitional age right now.
380
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:10,367
He's starting to mature
and to have feelings he's...
381
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:12,169
Never felt before, and...
382
00:16:12,171 --> 00:16:12,836
I want a turtle.
383
00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:16,440
That's nice. Why don't you
go in and get your mom?
384
00:16:18,977 --> 00:16:21,244
Go on. Get mama.
385
00:16:40,398 --> 00:16:42,332
Hi.
386
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:43,700
You must be dana's mom.
387
00:16:43,702 --> 00:16:45,802
I'm beverly goldberg.
388
00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:49,306
Well, I'll have you over for brunch, okay?
389
00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:52,743
Bye-bye. This was fun.
390
00:16:52,844 --> 00:16:55,345
After pops took off his straitjacket,
391
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:58,782
He finally regained his sanity.
392
00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:00,283
Hey, can we talk?
393
00:17:00,285 --> 00:17:02,252
It's up to you.
You're the boss.
394
00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:06,089
I can give you, 51% of the couch.
395
00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:11,028
Stop it, will ya?
I came to apologize.
396
00:17:12,463 --> 00:17:13,397
Look...
397
00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:17,401
It's tough always feeling
like you're underfoot.
398
00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:18,435
I was doing okay with it,
399
00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:23,206
But then when I walked back in here...
400
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,242
I felt like I mattered again.
401
00:17:25,244 --> 00:17:27,377
Stop it. You matter.
402
00:17:27,712 --> 00:17:29,513
This is your store, murray.
403
00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:32,382
You've done a hell of
a job with it for 10 years.
404
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:35,018
Better than I could've done.
405
00:17:35,153 --> 00:17:38,722
Which is why I've decided...
406
00:17:39,157 --> 00:17:42,125
To give you this.
407
00:17:44,662 --> 00:17:45,862
That's my 2%.
408
00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:50,700
You should be the majority owner.
This is your store now.
409
00:17:51,002 --> 00:17:54,137
Thank you, albert.
It means a lot.
410
00:17:57,709 --> 00:18:00,911
I'm gonna miss this place.
411
00:18:01,446 --> 00:18:02,012
Oh, you...
412
00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:05,849
You could always come by, like,
once a week to check on things.
413
00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:09,286
I can put another desk
next to mine in the office.
414
00:18:09,288 --> 00:18:11,121
Nah. I couldn't do that.
415
00:18:11,123 --> 00:18:11,688
You could.
416
00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:15,125
Walnut. Danish modern
with a teak inlay.
417
00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:16,760
Don't cheap out.
418
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:18,595
Now come here and give me a hug.
419
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:19,429
I'm not a big hugger.
420
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:23,133
Get over here, you bastard.
421
00:18:25,404 --> 00:18:27,804
Got a call from an old friend
422
00:18:27,806 --> 00:18:31,374
we used to be real close
423
00:18:33,311 --> 00:18:35,479
said he couldn't go on
424
00:18:35,481 --> 00:18:36,413
Hi.
425
00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:39,883
Hello. What you got there,
toys of some sort?
426
00:18:39,885 --> 00:18:40,517
I brought 'em back
427
00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:42,586
'cause I know you didn't
really wanna give them away.
428
00:18:42,588 --> 00:18:44,921
What? No, that's not true.
429
00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:47,357
Your mom came over.
That damn woman.
430
00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:48,158
That's okay.
431
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:51,027
My mom would have done the same thing
432
00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:53,463
If I gave away all my care bears.
433
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:54,764
Wait. It wasn't the toys?
434
00:18:54,766 --> 00:18:57,367
Then why did you run out
of my room the other day?
435
00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:59,269
I ran out 'cause...
436
00:18:59,271 --> 00:19:01,972
I thought we were gonna kiss.
437
00:19:02,039 --> 00:19:05,408
Not that I didn't wanna kiss.
438
00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:07,077
I just...
439
00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:08,478
Got nervous.
440
00:19:10,047 --> 00:19:11,081
So...
441
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:14,751
Thank you for bringing my stuff.
See you at school.
442
00:19:15,386 --> 00:19:16,920
Thank you!
443
00:19:23,261 --> 00:19:27,030
Stupid. I was
supposed to kiss her.
444
00:19:27,032 --> 00:19:28,932
Stupid, stupid!
445
00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:31,067
Yeah, you blew it.
446
00:19:31,069 --> 00:19:33,570
But we'll work on it.
447
00:19:35,073 --> 00:19:41,344
Never thought I'd say it, but this
computer is way better than sheila's gams.
448
00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,847
Hey, mur.
We got a tough customer.
449
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:45,749
You wanna work your magic?
450
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,421
You coming?
451
00:19:51,656 --> 00:19:53,990
You bet your ass.
452
00:19:55,326 --> 00:19:59,095
Yeah, getting olderis confusing and complicated,
453
00:19:59,097 --> 00:20:00,163
But no matter how hard we tried,
454
00:20:00,165 --> 00:20:04,401
Pops couldn't slow it down, and that day,
455
00:20:04,403 --> 00:20:05,468
I decided not to rush it either.
456
00:20:05,470 --> 00:20:09,439
I am megatron, leader of the decepticons.
457
00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:12,008
I am optimus prime, and I am a good guy,
458
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:13,710
And I will kick your butt!
459
00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:15,245
Who's there?
460
00:20:15,247 --> 00:20:16,947
Get dressed now!
461
00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:20,951
Oh, no! The bad guys
are coming for us! Aah!
462
00:20:22,253 --> 00:20:26,056
My name is megatron.
I am good.
463
00:20:26,758 --> 00:20:27,924
Who's there?
464
00:20:27,926 --> 00:20:30,260
Get dressed now.
465
00:20:30,262 --> 00:20:31,661
Oh.
466
00:20:32,029 --> 00:20:34,798
I am good and...
467
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:35,699
This is it.
468
00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:39,402
Aah! That hurt!
Aah!
469
00:20:40,171 --> 00:20:41,638
Hey! I'm murray the maniac.
470
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,608
And I'm committed to insane prices!
471
00:20:44,610 --> 00:20:46,343
Ooh! Aah!
472
00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:47,877
Hello! I'm murray the maniac,
473
00:20:47,879 --> 00:20:51,248
And I'm committed to insane prices!
474
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:54,618
You think that was too much,
the way I went, "insane"?
475
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:57,053
And... Action.
476
00:20:57,055 --> 00:20:58,188
Well, I came out while
you were saying "action."
477
00:20:58,190 --> 00:21:00,190
Does that matter? Okay, all
right, all right. Cut.
478
00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:01,858
I'm murray the mania...
479
00:21:01,860 --> 00:21:03,393
Why couldn't we get a good one?
480
00:21:03,395 --> 00:21:04,894
Hi. I'm insane.
481
00:21:04,896 --> 00:21:06,730
No, it's "insane prices."
no. "hello."
482
00:21:06,732 --> 00:21:08,031
It's "hello."
483
00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:09,266
Just help me up. Help me up.
484
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:10,467
Help me up.
Just push from behind.
485
00:21:10,469 --> 00:21:12,102
I like what you were doing, man. Thank you.
486
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:16,706
Hey! I'm murray the
maniac, and I'm bananas!
487
00:21:16,708 --> 00:21:19,676
I am just b-a-n...
488
00:21:19,678 --> 00:21:20,543
"a."
489
00:21:20,545 --> 00:21:21,778
"a."
"n."
490
00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:22,579
Is it two n's?
491
00:21:22,581 --> 00:21:26,316
Did we close the whole day for this?
492
00:21:26,366 --> 00:21:30,916
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