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1
00:00:01,902 --> 00:00:05,070
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:23,522
NARRATOR:
Man lives in the sunlit world
3
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:28,026
of what he believes to be reality.
4
00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:32,998
But... there is,
5
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:37,535
unseen by most, an underworld.
6
00:00:37,570 --> 00:00:41,205
A place that is just as real
7
00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:45,309
but not as brightly lit.
8
00:00:45,345 --> 00:00:48,046
A dark side.
9
00:01:01,161 --> 00:01:02,727
(car horns beeping in distance)
10
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:03,962
Leon, you think
assignments
11
00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:05,730
to write TV scripts
grow on trees?
12
00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:08,166
Seymour, you gotta get me
in to see people.
13
00:01:08,201 --> 00:01:10,268
I haven't worked in six months.
14
00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:14,406
I'm trying Leon,
believe me, I'm trying.
15
00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:17,008
Incidentally, I see you got
yourself an answering machine.
16
00:01:17,043 --> 00:01:18,275
Yeah, I had to.
17
00:01:18,311 --> 00:01:20,912
My answering service
never gave me my calls.
18
00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:23,448
(chuckles)
I love the message
you got on your machine.
19
00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:25,717
If your TV writing was half
as original.
20
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:29,053
Seymour, it's just your basic
"hello, I'm not here" message.
21
00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:31,156
Oh, sure, but that Bronx cheer
you got on the end.
22
00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:32,224
That's terrific.
23
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:33,391
Bronx cheer?
24
00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:34,793
(blows raspberry)
25
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:37,295
Huh?
Little crude, maybe,
26
00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:39,530
but who wants to hear that same
old beep all the time, huh?
27
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,098
Leon, it broke me up.
28
00:01:47,673 --> 00:01:49,607
(car door creaks)
29
00:01:49,642 --> 00:01:53,344
So who gives writing assignments
to a practical joke?
30
00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:01,085
(sighs)
31
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:04,422
Why is everything
I buy always defective?
32
00:02:06,926 --> 00:02:08,192
Hi, this is Leon.
33
00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:09,594
Please leave your name
and number
34
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,496
and I'll get back to ya.
35
00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:13,498
(slide whistle plays)
36
00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:17,002
A Bronx cheer?
37
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:20,772
WOMAN:
Leon, how dare you use
your answering machine message
38
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:23,207
to announce that my mother
is a bag lady?!
39
00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:25,343
Look, just because she said
that you were a failure.
40
00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:27,545
I mean, my mother gets
a great deal of pleasure
41
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:28,780
out of shopping for clothes.
42
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,682
What are you talking about?
43
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:32,984
Well, you don't have to worry
about me pressuring you
44
00:02:33,019 --> 00:02:34,685
to get married anymore.
45
00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:38,990
I never want to see you again.
(receiver clicks)
46
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:43,595
I'll take care of you later.
47
00:02:48,267 --> 00:02:50,001
LEON'S VOICE (snarky):
Hello, I'm not here now
48
00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:52,103
cause I just flew out
like a turkey
49
00:02:52,138 --> 00:02:53,838
with a few giblets missing.
50
00:02:53,873 --> 00:02:57,408
Listen, pal, the first thing
we gotta settle
51
00:02:57,444 --> 00:03:00,144
is just who's in charge
around here.
52
00:03:00,179 --> 00:03:03,848
(blows raspberries to tune
of "Shave and a Haircut")
53
00:03:08,721 --> 00:03:09,887
(knocking)
54
00:03:09,922 --> 00:03:11,289
Who is it?
55
00:03:11,324 --> 00:03:13,858
LEON:
It's me. Open up.
I can explain.
56
00:03:14,627 --> 00:03:16,027
(sighs)
57
00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:23,334
It better not
just be good, Leon.
58
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,870
It better be
Academy Award time.
59
00:03:25,905 --> 00:03:27,138
Okay.
60
00:03:27,173 --> 00:03:31,309
My answering machine
is making funny noises.
61
00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:33,378
That's it?
62
00:03:34,447 --> 00:03:36,214
Come on, Leon,
I heard your voice.
63
00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:39,217
"Hello, this is Leon.
I'm not here.
64
00:03:39,252 --> 00:03:40,685
"But if this is you,
Dolores,
65
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,821
"I wish you'd stop saying that
your mother, the bag lady,
66
00:03:43,856 --> 00:03:46,023
"adores me
because we both know
67
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:49,894
"that the world's greatest
shopper doesn't adore anybody
68
00:03:49,929 --> 00:03:53,732
except Mr. Neiman,
Mr. Marcus and Mr. Gucci."
69
00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:57,936
My machine has a defect.
70
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:02,207
Leon, I'm sorry,
71
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,675
but I can't continue
a relationship
72
00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:05,944
with a coward who lets
his answering machine
73
00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:08,245
do all of his dirty work.
74
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,790
Oh...!
75
00:04:19,992 --> 00:04:23,795
LEON'S VOICE:
Hey, Leon! Wake up!
76
00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:25,930
Huh? What?
77
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:30,167
Don't leave me stranded
like this.
78
00:04:30,202 --> 00:04:31,536
Where are you?
79
00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:34,972
Here, inside your answering
machine, of course.
80
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,750
Who are you?
81
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,386
What do you want?
82
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:49,421
(mocking):
Who are you?
83
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:50,822
What do you want?
84
00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:54,726
Leon, sweetheart, no wonder
you're a failure.
85
00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:58,229
When it comes to dialogue,
you've got a tin typewriter.
86
00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:01,666
It's finally happening.
87
00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:03,535
I'm cracking up.
88
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:05,904
Possibly, but irrelevant.
89
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:09,206
Tell me, does the expression
"alternate universe"
90
00:05:09,241 --> 00:05:10,908
mean anything to you?
91
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:15,446
Yeah, it means my crackup
is coming along nicely.
92
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:18,816
Alternate universes
exist, Leon.
93
00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:21,118
I don't believe it.
94
00:05:21,153 --> 00:05:25,690
That's strange,
considering you live in one.
95
00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:27,726
I live in a furnished apartment.
96
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,193
Look at it this way.
97
00:05:29,228 --> 00:05:32,430
One of us has to be living
in an alternate universe,
98
00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:34,298
and it certainly
isn't me.
99
00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:35,533
So just plug me back
100
00:05:35,568 --> 00:05:39,003
into the phone line and keep me
in fresh batteries.
101
00:05:39,038 --> 00:05:40,772
Why?
102
00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:44,275
You stick to your universe,
I'll stick to mine.
103
00:05:44,311 --> 00:05:45,343
Now, if you wouldn't mind,
104
00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:48,179
I got people waiting
to hear from me.
105
00:05:56,422 --> 00:05:58,789
(musical beeps play)
106
00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:02,860
(line ringing)
107
00:06:02,895 --> 00:06:05,663
WOMAN'S VOICE:
Hello, MultiCinema Theater.
108
00:06:05,698 --> 00:06:08,966
Today, we have 18
wonderful double features.
109
00:06:09,001 --> 00:06:10,702
LEON'S VOICE:
Hiya, sweetie.
110
00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:12,704
I know it's been a while,
111
00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:15,707
but I've had problems with
the jerk who owns the machine.
112
00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:19,877
WOMAN'S VOICE:
And tonight at MultiCinema
number 14, we feature...
113
00:06:19,912 --> 00:06:23,814
LEON'S VOICE:
You know, I can get you into
real show business.
114
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:27,819
Like maybe doing English
for foreign pictures.
115
00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:31,356
How'd you like to work
for Ingmar Bergman?
116
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:36,060
WOMAN'S VOICE:
You really know Ingmar Bergman's
soundtrack?
117
00:06:36,095 --> 00:06:40,198
LEON'S VOICE:
Baby, you wouldn't believe
my contacts.
118
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,100
Kiss, kiss.
119
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:47,438
WOMAN'S VOICE:
Mm, honey, you've still got
that old magnetism.
120
00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:50,341
(body thuds on floor)
121
00:06:50,376 --> 00:06:52,810
Leon, didn't you hear
what I just told you?
122
00:06:52,845 --> 00:06:55,180
All I get is a blank stare
for my hard work?
123
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:57,248
Oh, oh, sorry, Seymour.
124
00:06:57,283 --> 00:07:01,553
Uh, something crazy
is happening in my life.
125
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:02,787
Like what?
126
00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:07,124
You ever hear the expression,
"alternate universe"?
127
00:07:07,159 --> 00:07:09,293
Sure.
It's where writers live.
128
00:07:10,396 --> 00:07:12,463
Now, I'm gonna say this
one more time, Leon,
129
00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:13,932
and I expect
an appropriate reaction.
130
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:15,533
By the sweat of my brow,
131
00:07:15,568 --> 00:07:17,101
I have gotten you two
appointments
132
00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:18,335
with major TV producers.
133
00:07:19,705 --> 00:07:21,139
Huh, huh?
134
00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:24,008
Yahoo!
135
00:07:24,043 --> 00:07:25,676
Yeah, one of them is a yahoo,
136
00:07:25,711 --> 00:07:27,678
but in your position,
we can't be too choosy.
137
00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:39,290
SEYMOUR (on machine):
Looks like you struck out again
at those meetings today, Leon.
138
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:42,193
Don't worry. Look, nobody's
working this time of year.
139
00:07:42,228 --> 00:07:44,261
Call me in a couple of weeks.
140
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,362
(receiver clicks)
141
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:50,301
Leon!
142
00:07:53,172 --> 00:07:55,973
Aw, how soon you
want the wedding?
143
00:07:58,211 --> 00:07:59,344
What wedding?
144
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,446
Aw, just think,
whoever thought
145
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,347
that the Leon I knew
would be apologizing
146
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:06,050
about my mother
practically in tears?
147
00:08:06,085 --> 00:08:07,952
Aw, and then begging
me to marry him.
148
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:10,054
Leon.
149
00:08:10,089 --> 00:08:12,089
Begging you
to what?
(chuckles)
And just think,
150
00:08:12,124 --> 00:08:13,857
I'll even have the recording
for our grandchildren.
151
00:08:13,893 --> 00:08:17,128
Dolores, what are you
talking about?
152
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:20,764
The proposal you left on my
answering machine, of course.
153
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:25,536
Let me understand this.
154
00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:27,639
You heard my voice?
Mm-hmm.
155
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:30,207
Threatening to kill yourself
if I turned you down.
156
00:08:30,242 --> 00:08:34,612
Oh, Leon! Oh...
157
00:08:34,647 --> 00:08:36,347
Why are you doing this to me?
158
00:08:36,382 --> 00:08:37,615
Because I love you.
159
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:39,516
Leon, darling!
160
00:08:39,552 --> 00:08:43,821
Not you... him.
161
00:08:49,562 --> 00:08:51,929
Did you get yourself
a dog, Leon?
162
00:08:51,964 --> 00:08:54,932
I got what I thought
163
00:08:54,967 --> 00:08:56,701
was an ordinary
answering machine.
164
00:08:56,736 --> 00:09:00,004
Well, isn't it?
165
00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:02,873
Do ordinary
answering machines
drive people nuts
166
00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:05,342
interfering with
their private lives?!
167
00:09:05,377 --> 00:09:07,211
Well, I don't know!
168
00:09:07,246 --> 00:09:09,580
I don't keep up with
modern electronics.
169
00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:14,152
Well, do they?
170
00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:16,154
(machine clicks)
171
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:17,488
Not with mine, you don't!
172
00:09:17,523 --> 00:09:19,424
Not anymore!
173
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,559
Enough! This is enough!
174
00:09:25,932 --> 00:09:27,965
Leon, why did you destroy
175
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,601
your videotape machine?
176
00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:33,037
Oh, my God.
177
00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:36,007
I was taping The Late Show.
178
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:37,041
Oh...
179
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:40,044
It was that light.
180
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:42,679
Why me?!
181
00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:44,215
Oh...
182
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,583
you sound like my mother
183
00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:48,252
when I told her I was gonna
accept your proposal.
184
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:52,523
I never proposed to you.
185
00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:53,824
What?
186
00:09:53,859 --> 00:09:56,995
This might be a
little difficult
187
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:59,230
for you to understand,
Dolores.
188
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:05,036
Does the expression "alternate
universe" mean anything to you?
189
00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:08,906
I think that's the place where
people change their minds
190
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:11,375
about marrying
other people.
191
00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:14,512
It wasn't me.
192
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:18,282
It was the voice
on my answering machine
193
00:10:18,317 --> 00:10:22,319
proposing to
the voice on your
answering machine!
194
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:23,487
(chuckles nervously)
195
00:10:23,522 --> 00:10:27,658
I think I understand.
196
00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:29,593
You know, Leon, I think
my mother was right.
197
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,496
I mean, you are
a little strange.
198
00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:33,297
(growls)
199
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:37,735
And not only that,
your writing stinks!
200
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,444
Why?
201
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:50,114
Why are you doing this
to me?
202
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,650
LEON'S VOICE:
So, I tried to do you a favor.
203
00:10:52,685 --> 00:10:54,919
One universe reaching out
to another.
204
00:10:54,954 --> 00:10:56,854
Is that such a crime?
205
00:10:56,889 --> 00:10:58,356
Oh, yeah.
206
00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:01,558
And now you're gonna pay for it.
207
00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:03,861
I'm unplugging you.
208
00:11:03,896 --> 00:11:05,929
Don't, Leon!
You'll be sorry.
209
00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:10,901
If they could do it to Ma Bell,
I can do it to you.
210
00:11:10,936 --> 00:11:13,403
So, I got a big mouth.
We can work this out.
211
00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:21,479
Now I'm about
to erase a universe.
212
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,880
No, Leon!
213
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,615
I'm beg you
on bended transistors.
214
00:11:24,650 --> 00:11:26,750
Don't erase me,
you'll regret it.
215
00:11:26,786 --> 00:11:28,252
I've got friends, Leon.
216
00:11:28,287 --> 00:11:29,253
They'll come after you!
217
00:11:29,288 --> 00:11:30,588
(electronic whirring)
218
00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:37,061
(ringing)
219
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:41,899
Hello.
220
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:44,469
WOMAN:
I'm sorry...
Delores...
221
00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:46,437
...but the doctors office
is closed now.
222
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:48,005
This is a recording.
223
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:54,044
Please call 555-7694, if
you need emergency treatment.
224
00:11:59,618 --> 00:12:01,752
(groans)
225
00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:07,558
(phone ringing)
226
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:09,660
(groans)
227
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:15,766
(ringing continues)
228
00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:24,275
Hey, I know this
may sound dumb,
229
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:26,010
but is your name Leon?
230
00:12:26,045 --> 00:12:27,645
Why?
231
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,814
This is for you.
232
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,450
Something about weather
conditions in Butte, Montana.
233
00:12:33,485 --> 00:12:35,520
Is that a code
or something?
234
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:37,020
You with the CIA, huh?
235
00:12:41,627 --> 00:12:44,795
SEYMOUR:
I asked you here, Leon,
because I'm worried about you.
236
00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:46,897
I haven't worked
in seven months.
237
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:49,633
You're my agent,
and now you're worried?
238
00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:52,837
(phone ringing)
239
00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:54,371
Yes.
240
00:12:56,175 --> 00:12:57,174
It's for you.
241
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:59,343
I-I don't want it.
242
00:12:59,378 --> 00:13:01,912
Leon, I haven't
got all day.
243
00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:08,552
Hello.
244
00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:20,331
What's that all about?
245
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:21,365
It's an IRS recording.
246
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:23,367
How to prepare for an audit.
247
00:13:23,402 --> 00:13:25,069
You're being audited,
that's your problem?
248
00:13:25,104 --> 00:13:27,871
No. They all call me.
249
00:13:27,906 --> 00:13:30,341
Road conditions in 12 states.
250
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:32,543
Uh, uh, opening times
of department stores.
251
00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:33,978
Elevator voices
252
00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:36,013
warning me
to get back,
253
00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:37,814
'cause the doors
are gonna close on me.
254
00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:39,517
Day and night, Seymour!
255
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:40,517
You heard it!
256
00:13:40,552 --> 00:13:42,219
Am I imagining it?!
257
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:52,129
MAN (over TV):
Three balloons have prizes.
258
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:55,966
Pop those three and you'll win
a chance at our grand prize,
259
00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:57,834
a brand-new car.
260
00:13:57,870 --> 00:13:59,770
(applause)
261
00:13:59,805 --> 00:14:01,839
(phone ringing)
262
00:14:01,874 --> 00:14:03,741
Susan, are you ready?
Yes.
263
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:06,043
I'm not gonna answer it.
264
00:14:06,078 --> 00:14:09,914
Susan... Susan Alexander,
I dare you.
265
00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:14,485
(electronic tones)
266
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,921
But what if it's a producer?
267
00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:19,790
A story editor?
268
00:14:22,861 --> 00:14:24,928
Work?
269
00:14:24,964 --> 00:14:27,764
(ringing continues)
270
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:38,142
But what if it isn't?
271
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:45,616
(ringing continues)
272
00:14:45,651 --> 00:14:47,918
Could be Seymour.
273
00:14:49,988 --> 00:14:52,857
Seymour, is that you?
274
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:57,127
Seymour.
275
00:14:57,163 --> 00:14:59,296
(TV announcer continues)
276
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:02,199
Hello.
277
00:15:09,108 --> 00:15:12,242
Here's the prize!
(woman yelling)
278
00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:14,011
A refrigerator-freezer!
279
00:15:14,046 --> 00:15:15,045
(phone ringing)
280
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:18,215
It was Seymour!
281
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:20,684
Hi, we got disconnected.
282
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,786
No, Leon, I am not a recording.
283
00:15:22,821 --> 00:15:24,488
I'm your agent,
and I'm pleased to announce
284
00:15:24,523 --> 00:15:26,790
that you have somehow come to
the attention of Quentin Karp.
285
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:28,659
Quentin Karp?
286
00:15:28,694 --> 00:15:32,062
The Quentin Karp
wants to see me?
287
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,530
Yep. He's producing
288
00:15:33,565 --> 00:15:36,333
a new miniseries,
and he wants you to write it.
289
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:37,668
(thud)
290
00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:40,237
Leon, you there?
291
00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:42,172
Leon?
292
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:44,341
Leon?
I made it.
293
00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:46,810
I finally made it.
294
00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:49,847
(chuckles)
295
00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:52,182
I just beat the pants
off Di Donato--
296
00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:55,319
you know, the great
Italian film director.
297
00:15:55,354 --> 00:15:57,254
Oh, that guy may have final cut,
298
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,356
but uh, he's also got
a very bad slice.
299
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:01,691
(laughing)
300
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:07,097
Leon, he's hot
to direct our miniseries.
301
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:13,403
Roots, Winds of War, every
single Masterpiece Theater.
302
00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:15,239
They're all gonna
look like chopped liver
303
00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:17,541
when this one hits the air.
304
00:16:17,576 --> 00:16:19,777
Well, that sounds
great, Mr. Karp.
305
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:23,513
So, tell me about it.
306
00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:25,115
Tell you about what?
307
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,050
Your miniseries, of course.
308
00:16:27,086 --> 00:16:29,586
My miniseries?
309
00:16:29,621 --> 00:16:32,723
Your sensational miniseries.
310
00:16:32,758 --> 00:16:34,558
Come on, I want to know more.
311
00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:36,126
More than what?
312
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:39,263
Leon, don't make me crazy.
313
00:16:39,298 --> 00:16:41,765
More than you told me
already, of course.
314
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:44,635
About my miniseries...
315
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,403
idea?
316
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:50,508
Uh, well, uh...
317
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:53,477
well, I guess,
uh, Mr. Karp... Quentin,
318
00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,979
I guess, uh, I guess
what I told you already,
319
00:16:56,014 --> 00:17:00,083
that's, uh...
that's pretty much all there is.
320
00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:01,285
In a nutshell.
321
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:02,986
(chuckles)
322
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:07,791
Except, Leon, nutshells don't
fill ten hours of prime time.
323
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:11,295
We also need the nut, too.
324
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:15,332
Right, well, uh...
325
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:17,267
actually, Mr. Karp, I don't...
326
00:17:17,303 --> 00:17:18,869
I don't remember
which of my ideas
327
00:17:18,904 --> 00:17:20,070
you liked the best.
328
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:21,338
If you could remind me.
329
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:24,475
I'll be frank with you, too,
Leon.
330
00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:27,077
It's been a couple of weeks
and I'm afraid
331
00:17:27,112 --> 00:17:29,813
I don't quite remember
what your idea was either.
332
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:31,615
Except that it made me
very excited.
333
00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:33,149
I couldn't sleep
the whole night.
334
00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:34,618
Not one wink.
335
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:36,186
Well, you must
remember something
336
00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:37,354
about the conversation.
337
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:38,489
What conversation?
338
00:17:38,524 --> 00:17:40,023
The one where I gave you
339
00:17:40,058 --> 00:17:42,025
the sensational miniseries idea.
340
00:17:42,060 --> 00:17:46,296
Leon, you left your idea
341
00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:47,464
on my answering machine at home.
342
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,733
(chuckles)
343
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:53,303
Man, you are some
terrific salesman.
344
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:56,206
The answering machine.
345
00:17:57,610 --> 00:18:00,010
I will get you nut, Mr. Karp.
346
00:18:00,045 --> 00:18:02,712
I will give you lots of nuts...
miniseries kind of nut.
347
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,515
You just give me a little
answering machine...
348
00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:05,949
I mean, I mean, time,
time, time.
349
00:18:05,985 --> 00:18:08,151
You give me time,
an hour, hour tops.
350
00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:09,853
Hour tops.
351
00:18:09,888 --> 00:18:11,555
You just stay here
and you keep thinking
352
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:13,557
about how sensational it was.
353
00:18:19,965 --> 00:18:22,098
I'm sorry,
I didn't know, really.
354
00:18:22,134 --> 00:18:23,567
I didn't know.
355
00:18:27,239 --> 00:18:29,039
Here you go.
356
00:18:29,074 --> 00:18:30,641
There.
357
00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:32,242
All plugged in.
358
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:38,616
Now, please tell me what
the miniseries idea was.
359
00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:44,955
(high-pitched whine)
360
00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:47,758
Oh, come on.
361
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:53,464
Uh... how about that girl
at the MultiCinema, huh?
362
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:54,632
Huh?
363
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,567
She sounded terrific, huh?
364
00:18:56,602 --> 00:18:59,269
I'll bet you can't wait
to talk to her again.
365
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:02,706
Kiss, kiss.
366
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:06,777
Okay, anything you want.
367
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:08,878
The best batteries
money can buy.
368
00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:10,914
MCI. Sprint.
369
00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:13,016
I'll even get another machine
370
00:19:13,051 --> 00:19:15,619
just to answer
my personal calls.
371
00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:20,056
What is it?
372
00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:22,058
I'm offering everything I can.
373
00:19:22,094 --> 00:19:23,961
Not quite, Leon.
374
00:19:26,698 --> 00:19:28,932
What? What is it?
375
00:19:28,967 --> 00:19:30,867
Think about it, pal.
376
00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:32,969
Uh, uh, uh...
377
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,407
Money, money, you want money?
378
00:19:37,442 --> 00:19:39,309
Not even close.
379
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:41,078
What would I do with it?
380
00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:44,114
Uh...
381
00:19:44,149 --> 00:19:47,884
Dolores. You want
to marry Dolores?
382
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,853
(laughing)
383
00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:51,721
Don't be ridiculous.
384
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,423
What else is there?
385
00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:55,526
You've got money, women...
386
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:02,633
Fame.
387
00:20:02,668 --> 00:20:05,903
Now you're getting the picture.
388
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:08,972
Lets face it, I can sell
a miniseries idea.
389
00:20:09,007 --> 00:20:12,042
Credit where credit is due,
you know what I mean?
390
00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:13,810
And while we're on the subject,
391
00:20:13,845 --> 00:20:16,480
the way I see it, there's
really only room for one name
392
00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:18,348
up there on the screen,
393
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:19,749
and considering where the ideas
394
00:20:19,784 --> 00:20:22,052
are gonna be coming from,
well...
395
00:20:22,087 --> 00:20:24,354
I think you're
getting the point.
396
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:27,924
Don't worry, there'll be
plenty for you to do.
397
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:32,495
Yeah, I think I'm gonna
like this--
398
00:20:32,531 --> 00:20:36,333
miniseries,
and then features, Oscars,
399
00:20:36,368 --> 00:20:40,937
a stage play...
and the Pulitzer.
400
00:20:43,642 --> 00:20:46,109
(shouting):
Up and at 'em, pal!
401
00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:48,979
Let's get to work.
402
00:20:49,014 --> 00:20:51,682
Do you know what time it is?
403
00:20:51,717 --> 00:20:53,917
Inspiration doesn't wait.
404
00:20:53,953 --> 00:20:56,085
(groans)
405
00:21:18,410 --> 00:21:20,276
Okay.
406
00:21:20,312 --> 00:21:21,978
Now, where did I leave off?
407
00:21:22,013 --> 00:21:24,715
Scene at the airport.
408
00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:27,317
Oh, yeah, right.
409
00:21:27,352 --> 00:21:30,754
Okay... they rush to
each other and embrace.
410
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:32,956
The press photographers push in,
411
00:21:32,991 --> 00:21:34,758
flash bulbs going off
everywhere.
412
00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:36,226
Two government officials
413
00:21:36,262 --> 00:21:39,162
quickly usher Nick and his
uncle into a waiting limo.
414
00:21:39,198 --> 00:21:40,864
They drive off.
415
00:21:40,899 --> 00:21:42,733
Are you getting this, Leon?
416
00:21:42,768 --> 00:21:45,402
Nick and Uncle sigh in relief,
417
00:21:45,437 --> 00:21:49,106
knowing that tomorrow is another
day, another lifetime.
418
00:21:54,212 --> 00:21:58,147
NARRATOR:
The darkside is always there.
419
00:21:58,183 --> 00:22:00,950
Waiting for us to enter.
420
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:04,254
Waiting to enter us.
421
00:22:04,289 --> 00:22:10,093
Until next time, try to enjoy the daylight.
37178
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