All language subtitles for Hot in Cleveland s01e03 Birthdates.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,020 --> 00:00:09,635 Oh, I wonder what that's about. 2 00:00:09,757 --> 00:00:11,561 I'm not here. 3 00:00:12,331 --> 00:00:13,608 Wait... 4 00:00:13,932 --> 00:00:16,324 The police are looking for you? 5 00:00:19,648 --> 00:00:21,087 What police? 6 00:00:23,025 --> 00:00:25,566 Hey, guys, guess what. It's our birthday in two weeks. 7 00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:26,667 You're kidding. 8 00:00:26,702 --> 00:00:30,720 - You all have birthdays on the same day? - No, no, no, but we decided that, 9 00:00:30,755 --> 00:00:33,240 seeing that birthdays are so generally unpleasant... 10 00:00:33,274 --> 00:00:34,708 Depressing, scary... 11 00:00:34,742 --> 00:00:37,080 Drunken, hazy... 12 00:00:37,114 --> 00:00:41,138 We decided that we'd just celebrate ours all together on a neutral day. 13 00:00:41,173 --> 00:00:43,576 And that way we don't have to acknowledge 14 00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:45,763 the day that we actually get older. 15 00:00:45,797 --> 00:00:49,933 It works great. I really don't know how old I am. 16 00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,617 So what do you guys want for your birthday? 17 00:00:51,651 --> 00:00:53,433 A wonderful man who worships me. 18 00:00:53,467 --> 00:00:56,282 - Two of those. - Oh, that sounds nice. 19 00:00:56,316 --> 00:00:59,102 Why don't you all get each other dates for your birthday? 20 00:00:59,137 --> 00:01:01,420 Now, that is an intriguing idea. 21 00:01:01,454 --> 00:01:03,869 I mean, we're terrible at picking men for ourselves. 22 00:01:03,904 --> 00:01:06,225 I have five divorces to prove it. 23 00:01:06,259 --> 00:01:07,857 I wish I had a divorce. 24 00:01:07,892 --> 00:01:09,592 I have animals that die. 25 00:01:11,766 --> 00:01:12,610 Let's do it. 26 00:01:12,642 --> 00:01:15,768 Everyone's gonna pick a name, and then get a date for that person. 27 00:01:15,802 --> 00:01:18,539 It'll be our new Cleveland birthday celebration. 28 00:01:18,574 --> 00:01:20,474 And where are we going to find these men? 29 00:01:20,508 --> 00:01:22,580 They do seem to be all over this town. 30 00:01:22,614 --> 00:01:26,784 I get disgusting comments and lewd gestures, like, ten times a day. 31 00:01:26,804 --> 00:01:28,345 It is fantastic! 32 00:01:30,419 --> 00:01:32,334 Elka, are you in? 33 00:01:32,369 --> 00:01:33,384 Sure. 34 00:01:34,133 --> 00:01:36,060 But if you're picking for me, 35 00:01:36,095 --> 00:01:37,600 I don't do fatties. 36 00:01:42,387 --> 00:01:44,927 Okay, Elka, you go first. 37 00:01:47,981 --> 00:01:48,931 Victoria. 38 00:01:48,974 --> 00:01:51,015 - Melanie. - Elka. 39 00:01:51,049 --> 00:01:52,890 Oh, great that means Victoria got me. 40 00:01:52,925 --> 00:01:53,591 So? 41 00:01:53,626 --> 00:01:55,398 So you're terrible at picking gifts. 42 00:01:55,432 --> 00:01:57,798 - I'm gonna get screwed. - Oh, stop it! 43 00:01:57,833 --> 00:01:59,898 I'm a wonderful gift giver. 44 00:01:59,932 --> 00:02:03,732 See, look at this beautiful pre-birthday gift I just gave myself. 45 00:02:03,888 --> 00:02:06,300 Wow, Cartier. My favorite. 46 00:02:06,382 --> 00:02:08,748 But you didn't even remember it was our birthday. 47 00:02:08,783 --> 00:02:10,620 Still, it's a great gift. 48 00:02:23,862 --> 00:02:25,965 I wonder when our presents will arrive. 49 00:02:25,999 --> 00:02:27,302 Yours will be here soon. 50 00:02:27,337 --> 00:02:29,307 I wish the same could be said for mine. 51 00:02:29,341 --> 00:02:31,511 I'm sure Victoria didn't find me anyone. 52 00:02:31,545 --> 00:02:34,580 Oh, don't be so negative. I got Elka a great date. 53 00:02:34,615 --> 00:02:36,255 I'm a little nervous. 54 00:02:37,149 --> 00:02:41,299 Or maybe it's just staring at that rat's nest that Joy calls a hairdo. 55 00:02:43,003 --> 00:02:45,174 It's so unsettling. 56 00:02:45,951 --> 00:02:49,047 Your nerves are making you unpleasant. 57 00:02:49,082 --> 00:02:52,053 Yes, but I can fix that by finishing this wine. 58 00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:54,726 You're still stuck with that hair. 59 00:02:55,627 --> 00:02:58,633 That's not your joke, Elka. That's Winston Churchill's. 60 00:02:58,668 --> 00:03:01,572 It's not stealing if you were there. 61 00:03:05,061 --> 00:03:06,711 Elka, your date's here. 62 00:03:09,127 --> 00:03:10,890 He's handsome! 63 00:03:10,925 --> 00:03:13,130 - Where did you find him? - At a senior center. 64 00:03:13,164 --> 00:03:15,668 I emailed your photo over to see if anybody would be interested. 65 00:03:15,702 --> 00:03:18,540 He was the only one who knew how to email back. 66 00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:20,097 Hey, Max. 67 00:03:20,845 --> 00:03:24,652 Melanie, so nice to officially meet you. 68 00:03:24,687 --> 00:03:26,556 And you must be Elka. 69 00:03:26,590 --> 00:03:27,693 I am. 70 00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:31,656 May I say that you're even lovelier than in your picture? 71 00:03:32,264 --> 00:03:34,041 Yes, you may. 72 00:03:34,365 --> 00:03:35,966 Shall we? 73 00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:37,472 To be fair, 74 00:03:37,507 --> 00:03:40,941 in my computer, your picture is displayed in 200%. 75 00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:42,928 I've seen all of you, but 76 00:03:42,963 --> 00:03:44,686 not all at once. 77 00:04:01,604 --> 00:04:04,381 - Uh, excuse me. - Yeah. 78 00:04:04,415 --> 00:04:06,851 - I'm Victoria Chase. - Hi. 79 00:04:06,885 --> 00:04:09,655 How would you like to pretend to be my friend's date? 80 00:04:09,689 --> 00:04:11,759 Uh, what's the matter with her? 81 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,628 Nothing, really. She's quite attractive. 82 00:04:13,663 --> 00:04:16,467 She's sitting right over there with the long brown hair. 83 00:04:16,501 --> 00:04:18,170 - Oh... - I'll give you 200 bucks. 84 00:04:18,204 --> 00:04:20,340 - Great! - Wait, wait, wait. 85 00:04:20,374 --> 00:04:22,142 But you can't be yourself. 86 00:04:22,177 --> 00:04:23,511 I mean, I'm sure you're great, 87 00:04:23,545 --> 00:04:26,648 but I was supposed to find her a specific type of guy. 88 00:04:26,682 --> 00:04:28,550 Well, why didn't you if you said you were going to? 89 00:04:28,584 --> 00:04:31,820 Well, I ran out of time, or I didn't prioritize, or... 90 00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:34,354 I don't know, I just-- get off my back! 91 00:04:35,891 --> 00:04:37,124 What do you do? 92 00:04:37,158 --> 00:04:39,292 Well, with the economy and everything-- 93 00:04:39,326 --> 00:04:41,694 okay, I'm bored already. 94 00:04:41,728 --> 00:04:44,329 You are an architect. She goes crazy for them. 95 00:04:44,364 --> 00:04:46,114 Okay... 96 00:04:46,199 --> 00:04:48,166 And you have three dogs, but not purebreds. 97 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:51,435 She'd never go for that. Let's see, what else? 98 00:04:51,470 --> 00:04:54,071 Oh, compliment her earlobes. Don't ask me why. 99 00:04:54,105 --> 00:04:55,939 Favorite color, celadon. 100 00:04:55,974 --> 00:04:58,575 Don't order beets, and do not mention Helen Mirren. 101 00:04:58,609 --> 00:05:01,173 - What's your name? - Uh, Steve. 102 00:05:01,213 --> 00:05:05,145 No, no, I think that you are an Alistair. 103 00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:08,506 - Then I think I need another 50. - Okay, Steve's good. 104 00:05:09,516 --> 00:05:11,083 Well, I'll be damned. 105 00:05:11,117 --> 00:05:12,851 These are my friends Melanie and Joy. 106 00:05:12,885 --> 00:05:14,986 - Hi. - And this is Steve. 107 00:05:15,020 --> 00:05:16,591 He's an architect. 108 00:05:17,791 --> 00:05:18,853 I am. 109 00:05:20,395 --> 00:05:21,695 And I like dogs. 110 00:05:23,059 --> 00:05:24,259 I love dogs. 111 00:05:25,593 --> 00:05:26,700 You have dogs? 112 00:05:26,734 --> 00:05:29,302 Yes, yes. Uh, mutts. 113 00:05:29,336 --> 00:05:31,203 I mean I love all dogs, 114 00:05:31,238 --> 00:05:34,339 but I just don't see the point of buying a dog 115 00:05:34,373 --> 00:05:37,641 from an industry that promotes inbreeding and puppyvilles 116 00:05:37,676 --> 00:05:40,606 when there are so many mixed breeds out there in need of a home. 117 00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:42,945 I feel exactly the same way. 118 00:05:42,979 --> 00:05:44,913 Well, should I try to go round us up a table? 119 00:05:44,947 --> 00:05:46,814 - Sounds great. - All right. 120 00:05:46,848 --> 00:05:48,098 So... 121 00:05:48,516 --> 00:05:51,206 I owe you an apology. 122 00:05:51,246 --> 00:05:53,451 You truly are a wonderful friend 123 00:05:53,485 --> 00:05:55,953 who seems to have found me a great guy. 124 00:05:55,988 --> 00:05:58,258 I'm sorry. I really underestimated you. 125 00:05:58,293 --> 00:06:01,662 Oh, well, I accept your apology. 126 00:06:01,696 --> 00:06:03,696 You are free to enjoy him now. 127 00:06:05,835 --> 00:06:09,485 I can't believe you went to that much work to find Joy's date. 128 00:06:09,642 --> 00:06:11,872 But you do believe it, right? 129 00:06:14,309 --> 00:06:16,910 Oh, Happy Birthday. 130 00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:18,611 Do you think he's here for one of us? 131 00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:20,379 Oh, he's looking over here. How do I look? 132 00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:21,905 Freakishly young. 133 00:06:21,940 --> 00:06:24,911 - What about me? How's my hair? - Like God re-touched it. 134 00:06:24,946 --> 00:06:26,344 - Good luck. - You too. 135 00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:29,345 - Uh, Victoria? - Yes! 136 00:06:30,155 --> 00:06:32,557 Sorry I'm late. I had to jog the last couple of blocks 137 00:06:32,591 --> 00:06:35,926 just to get here, but it was worth it--wow. 138 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,796 Are all actresses as beautiful in person as you? 139 00:06:38,831 --> 00:06:39,831 Sadly, no. 140 00:06:42,832 --> 00:06:45,466 Glenn Miller or Tommy Dorsey? 141 00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:47,702 Oh, Miller all the way. 142 00:06:47,736 --> 00:06:49,237 Yeah, that was real music. 143 00:06:49,271 --> 00:06:52,171 I don't go for that stuff that's out there now. 144 00:06:52,239 --> 00:06:53,439 Michael Buble. 145 00:06:55,477 --> 00:06:57,577 Have you heard this yahoo? 146 00:06:58,211 --> 00:07:00,513 Please! You mean wannabe Sinatra. 147 00:07:00,547 --> 00:07:01,914 Exactly. 148 00:07:01,948 --> 00:07:05,617 Go back to the second floor at Nordstrom's, I say. 149 00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:08,485 Okay, another question: 150 00:07:08,923 --> 00:07:10,423 Favorite medication. 151 00:07:13,158 --> 00:07:14,908 Oh, that's a tough one. 152 00:07:16,271 --> 00:07:19,676 All things considered, I think I'm gonna have to say 153 00:07:19,818 --> 00:07:20,818 Celebrex. 154 00:07:21,527 --> 00:07:23,360 Celebrex. Nice. 155 00:07:23,648 --> 00:07:26,863 I'm an allopurinol man myself. 156 00:07:26,898 --> 00:07:28,330 Ooh, gout! 157 00:07:29,169 --> 00:07:30,869 Somebody likes to party. 158 00:07:33,641 --> 00:07:36,291 Ever go to Canada for your discount rates? 159 00:07:37,879 --> 00:07:42,148 Do I? I'm on a first-name basis with all the border guards. 160 00:07:42,857 --> 00:07:44,201 Me too. 161 00:07:44,236 --> 00:07:46,136 We should carpool next time. 162 00:07:48,071 --> 00:07:51,155 Is it possible that you are the perfect woman? 163 00:07:51,885 --> 00:07:54,824 Well, I'd say it's very possible. 164 00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:58,861 Will you be eating alone? I can bring over a place setting. 165 00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:01,129 Oh, no, no, no, no. I--I have a date. 166 00:08:01,163 --> 00:08:02,629 It's a blind date. He should be here soon. 167 00:08:02,663 --> 00:08:04,462 I'm sure he will. Anything else? 168 00:08:04,496 --> 00:08:06,163 I'm really nervous. 169 00:08:06,198 --> 00:08:08,332 I haven't been on a blind date in, like, oh, gosh, forever. 170 00:08:08,366 --> 00:08:09,633 I just got divorced. 171 00:08:09,667 --> 00:08:11,534 I'm totally over it. It's just, you know, 172 00:08:11,568 --> 00:08:13,869 sometimes it still feels a little fresh and raw. 173 00:08:13,904 --> 00:08:15,280 But this is just the type of adventure 174 00:08:15,315 --> 00:08:17,621 I signed up for when I moved to Cleveland, isn't it? 175 00:08:17,656 --> 00:08:21,141 Uh, I was just wondering if you need a fork or something. 176 00:08:23,499 --> 00:08:24,399 Melanie? 177 00:08:24,639 --> 00:08:25,379 Yes? 178 00:08:27,884 --> 00:08:29,684 I think I'm gonna be sick. 179 00:08:33,154 --> 00:08:35,563 I'm so sorry. That didn't come out right. 180 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:37,998 It's just your face is kind of--oh... 181 00:08:41,124 --> 00:08:43,181 Sorry, I'm feeling queasy again. 182 00:08:43,216 --> 00:08:45,648 Why don't we just leave it at I'm not your type? 183 00:08:45,668 --> 00:08:48,310 No, no, no, actually, you're totally my type. 184 00:08:48,330 --> 00:08:50,630 You look exactly like my dead wife. 185 00:08:52,189 --> 00:08:54,566 - Uh...Thank you? - Yeah. 186 00:08:55,033 --> 00:08:56,593 Listen, this is obviously upsetting for you, 187 00:08:56,627 --> 00:08:58,494 so let's just not do the whole date thing. 188 00:08:58,529 --> 00:09:01,463 Oh, listen, I really need to move on with my life, 189 00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:04,265 and this is the first actual date I've had since the funeral. 190 00:09:04,299 --> 00:09:07,334 And Joy said so many nice things about you in line at the deli. 191 00:09:07,368 --> 00:09:09,979 You know what, I don't know if this is a real good idea. 192 00:09:09,999 --> 00:09:10,999 Please? 193 00:09:11,387 --> 00:09:15,506 If I have to spend another night alone, I don't know what I'll do. 194 00:09:18,123 --> 00:09:19,409 Why not? 195 00:09:19,866 --> 00:09:21,911 Life's too short, right? 196 00:09:22,247 --> 00:09:23,497 I'm so sorry. 197 00:09:27,470 --> 00:09:28,457 So where were we? 198 00:09:28,492 --> 00:09:31,338 You were telling me how you all picked dates for each other. 199 00:09:31,373 --> 00:09:33,552 - That's fun. - Oh, it is fun. 200 00:09:34,013 --> 00:09:36,114 Especially when it looks like I got the prize. 201 00:09:36,148 --> 00:09:38,082 Oh, I'm flattered. 202 00:09:38,116 --> 00:09:39,483 You'll have to excuse me, I'm still sweating. 203 00:09:39,517 --> 00:09:42,051 That run over here was a bit further than I anticipated. 204 00:09:42,085 --> 00:09:43,252 Oh. Do you mind? 205 00:09:43,286 --> 00:09:44,519 No, not at all. 206 00:09:44,554 --> 00:09:47,454 You just take off as much clothing as you like. 207 00:09:58,316 --> 00:10:01,267 You know, I never formally introduced myself. 208 00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:02,401 I'm Chester. 209 00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:07,539 Chester. 210 00:10:07,573 --> 00:10:09,823 Well, that'll be easy to remember. 211 00:10:12,076 --> 00:10:14,226 The truth is I'm a great driver, 212 00:10:14,755 --> 00:10:18,212 but sometimes I like to drive real slow 213 00:10:18,246 --> 00:10:19,996 just to mess with people. 214 00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:25,417 I am having such a good time. 215 00:10:25,452 --> 00:10:27,052 Me too. 216 00:10:27,469 --> 00:10:30,122 I think we should get married. 217 00:10:30,156 --> 00:10:33,357 Me too. Pass the salt. 218 00:10:33,391 --> 00:10:36,060 Really? You'd marry me? 219 00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:37,896 Yeah, I would. 220 00:10:38,133 --> 00:10:42,067 I mean once around we're perfect for each other. 221 00:10:42,101 --> 00:10:44,335 I'm glad to hear that. 222 00:10:44,370 --> 00:10:47,304 Oh, here's your salt. 223 00:10:47,339 --> 00:10:49,940 I'm impressed you can still use that. 224 00:10:49,975 --> 00:10:52,977 Oh, I know how to shake what I've got. 225 00:10:58,246 --> 00:11:01,115 I've been wanting to do that all night. 226 00:11:01,150 --> 00:11:03,417 Oh...Well... 227 00:11:03,451 --> 00:11:07,821 Now I can get back to my rigatoni. 228 00:11:07,887 --> 00:11:08,932 Celadon? 229 00:11:09,170 --> 00:11:11,271 Most men don't even know what that is. 230 00:11:11,305 --> 00:11:14,205 Well...I do. 231 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:17,475 So becoming an architect was like a calling? 232 00:11:17,509 --> 00:11:20,944 Yes. Yes, it was like someone tapped me on the shoulder 233 00:11:20,978 --> 00:11:23,128 and said, "you're an architect." 234 00:11:25,314 --> 00:11:28,182 And I'll start with the Caesar salad. 235 00:11:28,217 --> 00:11:30,785 Hey, have you ever thought about wearing your hair, 236 00:11:30,819 --> 00:11:33,188 I don't know, back a little bit? 237 00:11:34,448 --> 00:11:38,057 - Excuse me? - Just push it back on the sides. 238 00:11:38,092 --> 00:11:40,659 That--that's too much. A little less. 239 00:11:40,694 --> 00:11:43,262 Oh, God, it's uncanny! 240 00:11:43,296 --> 00:11:46,696 This is gonna sound crazy, but you look so much like her. 241 00:11:47,046 --> 00:11:48,896 I gotta show you a picture. 242 00:11:50,330 --> 00:11:51,834 How's your pasta? 243 00:11:51,868 --> 00:11:53,568 Fine. How's your breast? 244 00:11:57,179 --> 00:11:58,440 It's a meatloaf. 245 00:11:58,474 --> 00:11:59,724 I'll say it is. 246 00:12:02,365 --> 00:12:03,279 Victoria. 247 00:12:03,314 --> 00:12:04,647 Excuse me, my friend-- 248 00:12:04,681 --> 00:12:06,181 needs me at the bar. 249 00:12:09,386 --> 00:12:12,721 You're not gonna believe this, but my date is trying to turn me into his dead wife. 250 00:12:12,756 --> 00:12:14,096 Okay, that's nothing. 251 00:12:14,131 --> 00:12:16,260 You seen the cans on Chester? 252 00:12:24,726 --> 00:12:28,567 And his name is "chester"? 253 00:12:28,602 --> 00:12:31,837 Would you ask our waitress to bring us a bottle of champagne, please? 254 00:12:31,871 --> 00:12:35,139 Champagne! You really came through. 255 00:12:35,173 --> 00:12:37,473 - You're a good friend. - Aren't I? 256 00:12:37,508 --> 00:12:40,210 Oh, hey, hey, Victoria, thanks again. 257 00:12:40,245 --> 00:12:42,395 Best blind date I have ever had. 258 00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:52,253 I am not gonna let this one get away. 259 00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:57,557 Oh, boy. 260 00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:04,145 You set Joy up with a murderer? 261 00:13:04,206 --> 00:13:07,894 Well, to be fair, at the time I just thought he was a complete stranger. 262 00:13:07,929 --> 00:13:10,540 Now, can we just focus and figure out what we should do next? 263 00:13:10,567 --> 00:13:12,534 There's a tip line number on the screen. 264 00:13:12,568 --> 00:13:14,970 It's ringing. Oh, my God, how did this happen? 265 00:13:15,004 --> 00:13:17,772 Well, I kinda sorta picked him when I came in here tonight. 266 00:13:17,806 --> 00:13:21,542 I gave him 200 bucks and told him to show her a good time. 267 00:13:21,576 --> 00:13:25,211 So he's a murderer and a hooker! 268 00:13:25,246 --> 00:13:27,714 Oh, hello, hello! Yes, this is Melanie Moretti. 269 00:13:27,748 --> 00:13:29,848 The suspect that you're looking for 270 00:13:29,883 --> 00:13:31,617 is at Stormy's on Euclid. 271 00:13:31,651 --> 00:13:34,499 And the only thing I hate more than beets 272 00:13:34,540 --> 00:13:35,840 is Helen Mirren. 273 00:13:37,655 --> 00:13:39,655 Kiss me. 274 00:13:40,324 --> 00:13:42,458 Hurry! Hurry! He's kissing her! 275 00:13:43,216 --> 00:13:44,426 Okay, thank you. 276 00:13:44,461 --> 00:13:46,962 Okay, he said to stay calm and act normal. 277 00:13:46,996 --> 00:13:49,406 And we have to try and keep him here until they arrive. 278 00:13:49,419 --> 00:13:52,000 Okay, well, let's just get rid of our dates so that we can focus. 279 00:13:52,034 --> 00:13:56,134 Oh, gosh, you know, considering everything, maybe my date's not so bad. 280 00:13:58,873 --> 00:14:00,423 Oh, who am I kidding? 281 00:14:02,406 --> 00:14:04,744 - Everything okay? - Wow... 282 00:14:04,779 --> 00:14:07,079 That jacket really does wonders for you. 283 00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:08,814 Yeah, I got it right off the rack. 284 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:12,348 Don't say rack. 285 00:14:12,818 --> 00:14:14,252 Listen, Chester, 286 00:14:14,286 --> 00:14:16,354 I don't think it's gonna work out between us. 287 00:14:16,388 --> 00:14:18,889 But we didn't even finish dinner yet. 288 00:14:18,923 --> 00:14:20,190 Sorry for whatever it is I did wrong. 289 00:14:20,224 --> 00:14:22,659 Wait, wait. Come here. 290 00:14:22,693 --> 00:14:27,829 Um, excuse me, do you find this man attractive? 291 00:14:27,864 --> 00:14:28,997 And she's cute, right? 292 00:14:29,031 --> 00:14:30,332 - Yeah. - Good. Great. 293 00:14:30,366 --> 00:14:31,799 Why don't you sit down and buy her a drink. 294 00:14:31,834 --> 00:14:33,000 - Really? - Really. 295 00:14:33,035 --> 00:14:34,835 - Well, okay. - No, no, no. 296 00:14:34,869 --> 00:14:38,871 Keep that on...Forever. 297 00:14:38,905 --> 00:14:41,155 Let's go. 298 00:14:41,375 --> 00:14:42,575 I suppose you're right. 299 00:14:42,610 --> 00:14:44,677 I guess I wasn't really ready to get out there after all. 300 00:14:44,711 --> 00:14:46,978 You know what, it's okay. It's okay. It was very nice to meet you, 301 00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:47,979 and I wish you nothing but the best. 302 00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:49,847 You know, I think why 303 00:14:49,881 --> 00:14:51,515 my wife's death is so hard on me 304 00:14:51,549 --> 00:14:53,717 is that I never got a chance to say good-bye. 305 00:14:53,751 --> 00:14:56,019 I got to the hospital ten minutes too late. 306 00:14:56,054 --> 00:14:58,188 Oh, you poor thing. 307 00:14:58,222 --> 00:15:00,690 I know this is gonna sound odd, 308 00:15:00,724 --> 00:15:02,825 but with you being so much like her, 309 00:15:02,859 --> 00:15:04,560 I feel like it would help give me closure 310 00:15:04,594 --> 00:15:06,662 if I could say good-bye to you in the way 311 00:15:06,696 --> 00:15:08,230 that I wanted to say good-bye to her. 312 00:15:08,264 --> 00:15:11,532 Oh, you know, that's-- I don't know. 313 00:15:11,567 --> 00:15:13,500 - Yeah, it's too much. - Yeah. 314 00:15:13,535 --> 00:15:17,404 - I get it. I'll go. - Okay. Okay. 315 00:15:17,438 --> 00:15:20,140 Oh, go ahead, say good-bye. 316 00:15:20,174 --> 00:15:22,675 Oh, thank you. 317 00:15:25,778 --> 00:15:29,046 Honey, you're the most amazing woman I've ever met. 318 00:15:30,401 --> 00:15:33,801 Your strength, grace, and courage will be with me always. 319 00:15:33,904 --> 00:15:34,954 I love you. 320 00:15:35,455 --> 00:15:36,505 Okey-dokey! 321 00:15:39,525 --> 00:15:42,091 May I give her a little kiss? 322 00:15:42,126 --> 00:15:45,494 It's me, not her. But whatever. 323 00:15:48,649 --> 00:15:52,607 I'd give anything to make love to her one last time. 324 00:15:53,904 --> 00:15:55,934 And we're done here. 325 00:15:58,037 --> 00:15:59,771 Guess what happened to me! 326 00:15:59,806 --> 00:16:01,689 Elka, not now. We're in the middle of a crisis. 327 00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:03,074 I got engaged. 328 00:16:07,445 --> 00:16:09,579 - I knew you'd like him! - He's amazing. 329 00:16:09,614 --> 00:16:12,314 Oh, no, he's paying the bill! He's gonna go. We have to keep him here. 330 00:16:12,349 --> 00:16:13,315 Oh, my God, what are we gonna do? 331 00:16:13,349 --> 00:16:17,252 Who cares about Joy? What about me? I'm getting married. 332 00:16:17,286 --> 00:16:20,287 I'm, like, 100! 333 00:16:20,322 --> 00:16:25,758 Listen, Victoria accidentally set Joy up with a murderer. 334 00:16:27,794 --> 00:16:30,796 I'm conflicted. 335 00:16:33,797 --> 00:16:35,767 I am on a great date for once in my life, 336 00:16:35,802 --> 00:16:37,102 and you guys are acting like idiots. 337 00:16:37,136 --> 00:16:38,436 What's going on? 338 00:16:39,077 --> 00:16:42,606 Uh, well, I waited until the last minute, 339 00:16:42,641 --> 00:16:45,409 and I just grabbed the first guy I could find a the bar, 340 00:16:45,443 --> 00:16:47,811 and I gave him $200 to be your date. 341 00:16:47,845 --> 00:16:51,447 What? You paid Steve to go out with me? 342 00:16:51,482 --> 00:16:53,882 This is all fake? 343 00:16:53,917 --> 00:16:56,692 Oh, my God, this is, like, the worst thing you've ever done to me. 344 00:16:56,727 --> 00:16:58,308 Well, there's more. 345 00:17:00,821 --> 00:17:04,592 - Uh, he's kind of a...Murderer. - What? 346 00:17:04,627 --> 00:17:07,495 But the police are on their way. 347 00:17:07,530 --> 00:17:08,764 Guys, he's coming. 348 00:17:08,798 --> 00:17:10,432 Okay, listen, we have to try and keep him here, 349 00:17:10,466 --> 00:17:11,500 so just act natural. 350 00:17:11,534 --> 00:17:13,635 How do I act natural with a murderer? 351 00:17:13,669 --> 00:17:15,803 Just do the opposite of that. 352 00:17:17,188 --> 00:17:19,106 So, Joy, are you ready to go? 353 00:17:19,140 --> 00:17:22,508 My van's parked out front. 354 00:17:23,173 --> 00:17:24,308 Your van? 355 00:17:24,348 --> 00:17:26,877 He has a van! 356 00:17:26,911 --> 00:17:27,944 Are you okay? 357 00:17:27,978 --> 00:17:29,946 - Why don't you join us for dessert? - Yes. 358 00:17:29,980 --> 00:17:32,248 You know, to be honest, I was just... 359 00:17:32,282 --> 00:17:33,415 Hoping to get Joy alone. 360 00:17:33,450 --> 00:17:35,918 No! I mean-- tell me what I mean! 361 00:17:35,952 --> 00:17:38,653 - She has a rare disease. - Joy's a lesbian. 362 00:17:38,688 --> 00:17:39,688 Hey. 363 00:17:40,689 --> 00:17:41,689 Oh, God! 364 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:48,571 Now can we talk about my engagement? 365 00:17:56,830 --> 00:17:59,031 As soon as he was on the floor writhing in pain, 366 00:17:59,065 --> 00:18:00,399 I could see that 367 00:18:00,433 --> 00:18:03,669 the sketch really didn't look that much like him. 368 00:18:03,703 --> 00:18:06,039 Then why did you kick him? 369 00:18:06,073 --> 00:18:09,676 The police did say that these mistakes happen all the time. 370 00:18:09,710 --> 00:18:12,278 Joy, I am so sorry about everything. 371 00:18:12,312 --> 00:18:15,047 You should be. I knew this would happen. 372 00:18:15,918 --> 00:18:18,868 Listen, of all the things that happened tonight, 373 00:18:19,135 --> 00:18:20,952 the one thing that I can't get out of my mind 374 00:18:20,986 --> 00:18:22,820 is the look on your face when you thought 375 00:18:22,854 --> 00:18:25,656 I had finally done this great thing for you. 376 00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:28,140 And then all I did was disappoint you. 377 00:18:29,527 --> 00:18:32,328 I wasn't a good friend, and I will never forgive myself for that. 378 00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:37,499 Of course you will. And I will too. 379 00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:39,567 I thought Steve was the perfect guy 380 00:18:39,602 --> 00:18:42,937 because everything he said were things you knew I would love. 381 00:18:42,971 --> 00:18:45,797 Things only a best friend would know. 382 00:18:45,899 --> 00:18:48,942 You know me well. 383 00:18:49,892 --> 00:18:50,892 Still, I-- 384 00:18:53,953 --> 00:18:55,953 I would like you to have this. 385 00:18:58,949 --> 00:19:01,419 You know me very well! 386 00:19:02,941 --> 00:19:05,889 At least Joy's date didn't have a dead wife. 387 00:19:05,924 --> 00:19:06,924 Or boobs. 388 00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:11,294 My date had both. 389 00:19:12,154 --> 00:19:15,129 So, Elka, when are you gonna make it official? 390 00:19:15,164 --> 00:19:18,032 Oh...That's over. 391 00:19:18,066 --> 00:19:19,800 We started having problems. 392 00:19:19,834 --> 00:19:21,935 - Oh... - What happened? 393 00:19:21,969 --> 00:19:25,105 Well, we got along fine, 394 00:19:25,139 --> 00:19:29,809 but he wouldn't go downtown, if you know what I mean. 395 00:19:33,782 --> 00:19:35,032 What? 396 00:19:35,181 --> 00:19:37,781 I mean, there are so many good restaurants 397 00:19:37,816 --> 00:19:41,218 and shops down there. 398 00:19:41,252 --> 00:19:43,586 I can't give that up. 399 00:19:43,621 --> 00:19:46,455 Of course you do. 400 00:19:46,490 --> 00:19:48,891 What'd you think I was talking about? 401 00:19:48,925 --> 00:19:51,593 Nothing. Nothing at all. 402 00:19:53,829 --> 00:19:56,597 - Hi. - Max... 403 00:19:56,632 --> 00:19:59,666 Listen, Elka, I don't want to lose you. 404 00:19:59,701 --> 00:20:01,501 So if you're still up for it, 405 00:20:01,535 --> 00:20:05,070 I'm willing to try going downtown. 406 00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,809 - You are? - Yes. 407 00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:13,393 I just hope I won't get lost down there. 408 00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:18,414 Oh, you won't. 409 00:20:18,448 --> 00:20:22,417 I have no problem telling you where to go. 410 00:20:22,451 --> 00:20:27,521 It's just that it's so dark and scary there. 411 00:20:27,555 --> 00:20:29,855 - Happy Birthday. - Happy Birthday! 412 00:20:30,055 --> 00:20:40,255 Sync by Sheva @ITASA www.addic7ed.com 413 00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:44,855 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 30443

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