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1
00:00:07,020 --> 00:00:09,635
Oh, I wonder what that's about.
2
00:00:09,757 --> 00:00:11,561
I'm not here.
3
00:00:12,331 --> 00:00:13,608
Wait...
4
00:00:13,932 --> 00:00:16,324
The police are looking for you?
5
00:00:19,648 --> 00:00:21,087
What police?
6
00:00:23,025 --> 00:00:25,566
Hey, guys, guess what.
It's our birthday in two weeks.
7
00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:26,667
You're kidding.
8
00:00:26,702 --> 00:00:30,720
- You all have birthdays on the same day?
- No, no, no, but we decided that,
9
00:00:30,755 --> 00:00:33,240
seeing that birthdays are
so generally unpleasant...
10
00:00:33,274 --> 00:00:34,708
Depressing, scary...
11
00:00:34,742 --> 00:00:37,080
Drunken, hazy...
12
00:00:37,114 --> 00:00:41,138
We decided that we'd just celebrate
ours all together on a neutral day.
13
00:00:41,173 --> 00:00:43,576
And that way we don't
have to acknowledge
14
00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:45,763
the day that we
actually get older.
15
00:00:45,797 --> 00:00:49,933
It works great. I really
don't know how old I am.
16
00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,617
So what do you guys
want for your birthday?
17
00:00:51,651 --> 00:00:53,433
A wonderful man
who worships me.
18
00:00:53,467 --> 00:00:56,282
- Two of those.
- Oh, that sounds nice.
19
00:00:56,316 --> 00:00:59,102
Why don't you all get each
other dates for your birthday?
20
00:00:59,137 --> 00:01:01,420
Now, that is an
intriguing idea.
21
00:01:01,454 --> 00:01:03,869
I mean, we're terrible at
picking men for ourselves.
22
00:01:03,904 --> 00:01:06,225
I have five divorces
to prove it.
23
00:01:06,259 --> 00:01:07,857
I wish I had a divorce.
24
00:01:07,892 --> 00:01:09,592
I have animals that die.
25
00:01:11,766 --> 00:01:12,610
Let's do it.
26
00:01:12,642 --> 00:01:15,768
Everyone's gonna pick a name,
and then get a date for that person.
27
00:01:15,802 --> 00:01:18,539
It'll be our new Cleveland
birthday celebration.
28
00:01:18,574 --> 00:01:20,474
And where are we going
to find these men?
29
00:01:20,508 --> 00:01:22,580
They do seem to be
all over this town.
30
00:01:22,614 --> 00:01:26,784
I get disgusting comments and lewd
gestures, like, ten times a day.
31
00:01:26,804 --> 00:01:28,345
It is fantastic!
32
00:01:30,419 --> 00:01:32,334
Elka, are you in?
33
00:01:32,369 --> 00:01:33,384
Sure.
34
00:01:34,133 --> 00:01:36,060
But if you're picking for me,
35
00:01:36,095 --> 00:01:37,600
I don't do fatties.
36
00:01:42,387 --> 00:01:44,927
Okay, Elka, you go first.
37
00:01:47,981 --> 00:01:48,931
Victoria.
38
00:01:48,974 --> 00:01:51,015
- Melanie.
- Elka.
39
00:01:51,049 --> 00:01:52,890
Oh, great that means
Victoria got me.
40
00:01:52,925 --> 00:01:53,591
So?
41
00:01:53,626 --> 00:01:55,398
So you're terrible
at picking gifts.
42
00:01:55,432 --> 00:01:57,798
- I'm gonna get screwed.
- Oh, stop it!
43
00:01:57,833 --> 00:01:59,898
I'm a wonderful gift giver.
44
00:01:59,932 --> 00:02:03,732
See, look at this beautiful
pre-birthday gift I just gave myself.
45
00:02:03,888 --> 00:02:06,300
Wow, Cartier. My favorite.
46
00:02:06,382 --> 00:02:08,748
But you didn't even remember
it was our birthday.
47
00:02:08,783 --> 00:02:10,620
Still, it's a great gift.
48
00:02:23,862 --> 00:02:25,965
I wonder when our
presents will arrive.
49
00:02:25,999 --> 00:02:27,302
Yours will be here soon.
50
00:02:27,337 --> 00:02:29,307
I wish the same could
be said for mine.
51
00:02:29,341 --> 00:02:31,511
I'm sure Victoria
didn't find me anyone.
52
00:02:31,545 --> 00:02:34,580
Oh, don't be so negative.
I got Elka a great date.
53
00:02:34,615 --> 00:02:36,255
I'm a little nervous.
54
00:02:37,149 --> 00:02:41,299
Or maybe it's just staring at that
rat's nest that Joy calls a hairdo.
55
00:02:43,003 --> 00:02:45,174
It's so unsettling.
56
00:02:45,951 --> 00:02:49,047
Your nerves are making
you unpleasant.
57
00:02:49,082 --> 00:02:52,053
Yes, but I can fix that
by finishing this wine.
58
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:54,726
You're still stuck
with that hair.
59
00:02:55,627 --> 00:02:58,633
That's not your joke, Elka.
That's Winston Churchill's.
60
00:02:58,668 --> 00:03:01,572
It's not stealing
if you were there.
61
00:03:05,061 --> 00:03:06,711
Elka, your date's here.
62
00:03:09,127 --> 00:03:10,890
He's handsome!
63
00:03:10,925 --> 00:03:13,130
- Where did you find him?
- At a senior center.
64
00:03:13,164 --> 00:03:15,668
I emailed your photo over to see
if anybody would be interested.
65
00:03:15,702 --> 00:03:18,540
He was the only one who
knew how to email back.
66
00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:20,097
Hey, Max.
67
00:03:20,845 --> 00:03:24,652
Melanie, so nice to
officially meet you.
68
00:03:24,687 --> 00:03:26,556
And you must be Elka.
69
00:03:26,590 --> 00:03:27,693
I am.
70
00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:31,656
May I say that you're even
lovelier than in your picture?
71
00:03:32,264 --> 00:03:34,041
Yes, you may.
72
00:03:34,365 --> 00:03:35,966
Shall we?
73
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:37,472
To be fair,
74
00:03:37,507 --> 00:03:40,941
in my computer, your picture
is displayed in 200%.
75
00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:42,928
I've seen all of you, but
76
00:03:42,963 --> 00:03:44,686
not all at once.
77
00:04:01,604 --> 00:04:04,381
- Uh, excuse me.
- Yeah.
78
00:04:04,415 --> 00:04:06,851
- I'm Victoria Chase.
- Hi.
79
00:04:06,885 --> 00:04:09,655
How would you like to pretend
to be my friend's date?
80
00:04:09,689 --> 00:04:11,759
Uh, what's the matter with her?
81
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,628
Nothing, really.
She's quite attractive.
82
00:04:13,663 --> 00:04:16,467
She's sitting right over there
with the long brown hair.
83
00:04:16,501 --> 00:04:18,170
- Oh...
- I'll give you 200 bucks.
84
00:04:18,204 --> 00:04:20,340
- Great!
- Wait, wait, wait.
85
00:04:20,374 --> 00:04:22,142
But you can't be yourself.
86
00:04:22,177 --> 00:04:23,511
I mean, I'm sure you're great,
87
00:04:23,545 --> 00:04:26,648
but I was supposed to find
her a specific type of guy.
88
00:04:26,682 --> 00:04:28,550
Well, why didn't you if you
said you were going to?
89
00:04:28,584 --> 00:04:31,820
Well, I ran out of time,
or I didn't prioritize, or...
90
00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:34,354
I don't know,
I just-- get off my back!
91
00:04:35,891 --> 00:04:37,124
What do you do?
92
00:04:37,158 --> 00:04:39,292
Well, with the economy
and everything--
93
00:04:39,326 --> 00:04:41,694
okay, I'm bored already.
94
00:04:41,728 --> 00:04:44,329
You are an architect.
She goes crazy for them.
95
00:04:44,364 --> 00:04:46,114
Okay...
96
00:04:46,199 --> 00:04:48,166
And you have three dogs,
but not purebreds.
97
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:51,435
She'd never go for that.
Let's see, what else?
98
00:04:51,470 --> 00:04:54,071
Oh, compliment her earlobes.
Don't ask me why.
99
00:04:54,105 --> 00:04:55,939
Favorite color, celadon.
100
00:04:55,974 --> 00:04:58,575
Don't order beets,
and do not mention Helen Mirren.
101
00:04:58,609 --> 00:05:01,173
- What's your name?
- Uh, Steve.
102
00:05:01,213 --> 00:05:05,145
No, no, I think that
you are an Alistair.
103
00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:08,506
- Then I think I need another 50.
- Okay, Steve's good.
104
00:05:09,516 --> 00:05:11,083
Well, I'll be damned.
105
00:05:11,117 --> 00:05:12,851
These are my friends
Melanie and Joy.
106
00:05:12,885 --> 00:05:14,986
- Hi.
- And this is Steve.
107
00:05:15,020 --> 00:05:16,591
He's an architect.
108
00:05:17,791 --> 00:05:18,853
I am.
109
00:05:20,395 --> 00:05:21,695
And I like dogs.
110
00:05:23,059 --> 00:05:24,259
I love dogs.
111
00:05:25,593 --> 00:05:26,700
You have dogs?
112
00:05:26,734 --> 00:05:29,302
Yes, yes. Uh, mutts.
113
00:05:29,336 --> 00:05:31,203
I mean I love all dogs,
114
00:05:31,238 --> 00:05:34,339
but I just don't see the
point of buying a dog
115
00:05:34,373 --> 00:05:37,641
from an industry that promotes
inbreeding and puppyvilles
116
00:05:37,676 --> 00:05:40,606
when there are so many mixed breeds
out there in need of a home.
117
00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:42,945
I feel exactly the same way.
118
00:05:42,979 --> 00:05:44,913
Well, should I try to
go round us up a table?
119
00:05:44,947 --> 00:05:46,814
- Sounds great.
- All right.
120
00:05:46,848 --> 00:05:48,098
So...
121
00:05:48,516 --> 00:05:51,206
I owe you an apology.
122
00:05:51,246 --> 00:05:53,451
You truly are a
wonderful friend
123
00:05:53,485 --> 00:05:55,953
who seems to have
found me a great guy.
124
00:05:55,988 --> 00:05:58,258
I'm sorry. I really
underestimated you.
125
00:05:58,293 --> 00:06:01,662
Oh, well,
I accept your apology.
126
00:06:01,696 --> 00:06:03,696
You are free to enjoy him now.
127
00:06:05,835 --> 00:06:09,485
I can't believe you went to that
much work to find Joy's date.
128
00:06:09,642 --> 00:06:11,872
But you do believe it, right?
129
00:06:14,309 --> 00:06:16,910
Oh, Happy Birthday.
130
00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:18,611
Do you think he's
here for one of us?
131
00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:20,379
Oh, he's looking over here.
How do I look?
132
00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:21,905
Freakishly young.
133
00:06:21,940 --> 00:06:24,911
- What about me? How's my hair?
- Like God re-touched it.
134
00:06:24,946 --> 00:06:26,344
- Good luck.
- You too.
135
00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:29,345
- Uh, Victoria?
- Yes!
136
00:06:30,155 --> 00:06:32,557
Sorry I'm late. I had to jog
the last couple of blocks
137
00:06:32,591 --> 00:06:35,926
just to get here,
but it was worth it--wow.
138
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,796
Are all actresses as
beautiful in person as you?
139
00:06:38,831 --> 00:06:39,831
Sadly, no.
140
00:06:42,832 --> 00:06:45,466
Glenn Miller or Tommy Dorsey?
141
00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:47,702
Oh, Miller all the way.
142
00:06:47,736 --> 00:06:49,237
Yeah, that was real music.
143
00:06:49,271 --> 00:06:52,171
I don't go for that stuff
that's out there now.
144
00:06:52,239 --> 00:06:53,439
Michael Buble.
145
00:06:55,477 --> 00:06:57,577
Have you heard this yahoo?
146
00:06:58,211 --> 00:07:00,513
Please! You mean
wannabe Sinatra.
147
00:07:00,547 --> 00:07:01,914
Exactly.
148
00:07:01,948 --> 00:07:05,617
Go back to the second floor
at Nordstrom's, I say.
149
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:08,485
Okay, another question:
150
00:07:08,923 --> 00:07:10,423
Favorite medication.
151
00:07:13,158 --> 00:07:14,908
Oh, that's a tough one.
152
00:07:16,271 --> 00:07:19,676
All things considered,
I think I'm gonna have to say
153
00:07:19,818 --> 00:07:20,818
Celebrex.
154
00:07:21,527 --> 00:07:23,360
Celebrex. Nice.
155
00:07:23,648 --> 00:07:26,863
I'm an allopurinol man myself.
156
00:07:26,898 --> 00:07:28,330
Ooh, gout!
157
00:07:29,169 --> 00:07:30,869
Somebody likes to party.
158
00:07:33,641 --> 00:07:36,291
Ever go to Canada for
your discount rates?
159
00:07:37,879 --> 00:07:42,148
Do I? I'm on a first-name basis
with all the border guards.
160
00:07:42,857 --> 00:07:44,201
Me too.
161
00:07:44,236 --> 00:07:46,136
We should carpool next time.
162
00:07:48,071 --> 00:07:51,155
Is it possible that you
are the perfect woman?
163
00:07:51,885 --> 00:07:54,824
Well, I'd say it's
very possible.
164
00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:58,861
Will you be eating alone?
I can bring over a place setting.
165
00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:01,129
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I--I have a date.
166
00:08:01,163 --> 00:08:02,629
It's a blind date.
He should be here soon.
167
00:08:02,663 --> 00:08:04,462
I'm sure he will.
Anything else?
168
00:08:04,496 --> 00:08:06,163
I'm really nervous.
169
00:08:06,198 --> 00:08:08,332
I haven't been on a blind date in,
like, oh, gosh, forever.
170
00:08:08,366 --> 00:08:09,633
I just got divorced.
171
00:08:09,667 --> 00:08:11,534
I'm totally over it.
It's just, you know,
172
00:08:11,568 --> 00:08:13,869
sometimes it still feels
a little fresh and raw.
173
00:08:13,904 --> 00:08:15,280
But this is just the
type of adventure
174
00:08:15,315 --> 00:08:17,621
I signed up for when I moved
to Cleveland, isn't it?
175
00:08:17,656 --> 00:08:21,141
Uh, I was just wondering if
you need a fork or something.
176
00:08:23,499 --> 00:08:24,399
Melanie?
177
00:08:24,639 --> 00:08:25,379
Yes?
178
00:08:27,884 --> 00:08:29,684
I think I'm gonna be sick.
179
00:08:33,154 --> 00:08:35,563
I'm so sorry.
That didn't come out right.
180
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:37,998
It's just your face
is kind of--oh...
181
00:08:41,124 --> 00:08:43,181
Sorry, I'm feeling
queasy again.
182
00:08:43,216 --> 00:08:45,648
Why don't we just leave
it at I'm not your type?
183
00:08:45,668 --> 00:08:48,310
No, no, no, actually,
you're totally my type.
184
00:08:48,330 --> 00:08:50,630
You look exactly
like my dead wife.
185
00:08:52,189 --> 00:08:54,566
- Uh...Thank you?
- Yeah.
186
00:08:55,033 --> 00:08:56,593
Listen, this is obviously
upsetting for you,
187
00:08:56,627 --> 00:08:58,494
so let's just not do
the whole date thing.
188
00:08:58,529 --> 00:09:01,463
Oh, listen, I really need
to move on with my life,
189
00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:04,265
and this is the first actual
date I've had since the funeral.
190
00:09:04,299 --> 00:09:07,334
And Joy said so many nice things
about you in line at the deli.
191
00:09:07,368 --> 00:09:09,979
You know what, I don't know
if this is a real good idea.
192
00:09:09,999 --> 00:09:10,999
Please?
193
00:09:11,387 --> 00:09:15,506
If I have to spend another night alone,
I don't know what I'll do.
194
00:09:18,123 --> 00:09:19,409
Why not?
195
00:09:19,866 --> 00:09:21,911
Life's too short, right?
196
00:09:22,247 --> 00:09:23,497
I'm so sorry.
197
00:09:27,470 --> 00:09:28,457
So where were we?
198
00:09:28,492 --> 00:09:31,338
You were telling me how you all
picked dates for each other.
199
00:09:31,373 --> 00:09:33,552
- That's fun.
- Oh, it is fun.
200
00:09:34,013 --> 00:09:36,114
Especially when it looks
like I got the prize.
201
00:09:36,148 --> 00:09:38,082
Oh, I'm flattered.
202
00:09:38,116 --> 00:09:39,483
You'll have to excuse me,
I'm still sweating.
203
00:09:39,517 --> 00:09:42,051
That run over here was a bit
further than I anticipated.
204
00:09:42,085 --> 00:09:43,252
Oh. Do you mind?
205
00:09:43,286 --> 00:09:44,519
No, not at all.
206
00:09:44,554 --> 00:09:47,454
You just take off as much
clothing as you like.
207
00:09:58,316 --> 00:10:01,267
You know, I never formally
introduced myself.
208
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:02,401
I'm Chester.
209
00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:07,539
Chester.
210
00:10:07,573 --> 00:10:09,823
Well, that'll be
easy to remember.
211
00:10:12,076 --> 00:10:14,226
The truth is I'm
a great driver,
212
00:10:14,755 --> 00:10:18,212
but sometimes I like
to drive real slow
213
00:10:18,246 --> 00:10:19,996
just to mess with people.
214
00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:25,417
I am having such a good time.
215
00:10:25,452 --> 00:10:27,052
Me too.
216
00:10:27,469 --> 00:10:30,122
I think we should get married.
217
00:10:30,156 --> 00:10:33,357
Me too. Pass the salt.
218
00:10:33,391 --> 00:10:36,060
Really? You'd marry me?
219
00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:37,896
Yeah, I would.
220
00:10:38,133 --> 00:10:42,067
I mean once around we're
perfect for each other.
221
00:10:42,101 --> 00:10:44,335
I'm glad to hear that.
222
00:10:44,370 --> 00:10:47,304
Oh, here's your salt.
223
00:10:47,339 --> 00:10:49,940
I'm impressed you
can still use that.
224
00:10:49,975 --> 00:10:52,977
Oh, I know how to
shake what I've got.
225
00:10:58,246 --> 00:11:01,115
I've been wanting to
do that all night.
226
00:11:01,150 --> 00:11:03,417
Oh...Well...
227
00:11:03,451 --> 00:11:07,821
Now I can get back
to my rigatoni.
228
00:11:07,887 --> 00:11:08,932
Celadon?
229
00:11:09,170 --> 00:11:11,271
Most men don't even
know what that is.
230
00:11:11,305 --> 00:11:14,205
Well...I do.
231
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:17,475
So becoming an architect
was like a calling?
232
00:11:17,509 --> 00:11:20,944
Yes. Yes, it was like someone
tapped me on the shoulder
233
00:11:20,978 --> 00:11:23,128
and said,
"you're an architect."
234
00:11:25,314 --> 00:11:28,182
And I'll start with
the Caesar salad.
235
00:11:28,217 --> 00:11:30,785
Hey, have you ever thought
about wearing your hair,
236
00:11:30,819 --> 00:11:33,188
I don't know,
back a little bit?
237
00:11:34,448 --> 00:11:38,057
- Excuse me?
- Just push it back on the sides.
238
00:11:38,092 --> 00:11:40,659
That--that's too much.
A little less.
239
00:11:40,694 --> 00:11:43,262
Oh, God, it's uncanny!
240
00:11:43,296 --> 00:11:46,696
This is gonna sound crazy,
but you look so much like her.
241
00:11:47,046 --> 00:11:48,896
I gotta show you a picture.
242
00:11:50,330 --> 00:11:51,834
How's your pasta?
243
00:11:51,868 --> 00:11:53,568
Fine. How's your breast?
244
00:11:57,179 --> 00:11:58,440
It's a meatloaf.
245
00:11:58,474 --> 00:11:59,724
I'll say it is.
246
00:12:02,365 --> 00:12:03,279
Victoria.
247
00:12:03,314 --> 00:12:04,647
Excuse me, my friend--
248
00:12:04,681 --> 00:12:06,181
needs me at the bar.
249
00:12:09,386 --> 00:12:12,721
You're not gonna believe this, but my date
is trying to turn me into his dead wife.
250
00:12:12,756 --> 00:12:14,096
Okay, that's nothing.
251
00:12:14,131 --> 00:12:16,260
You seen the cans on Chester?
252
00:12:24,726 --> 00:12:28,567
And his name is "chester"?
253
00:12:28,602 --> 00:12:31,837
Would you ask our waitress to bring
us a bottle of champagne, please?
254
00:12:31,871 --> 00:12:35,139
Champagne!
You really came through.
255
00:12:35,173 --> 00:12:37,473
- You're a good friend.
- Aren't I?
256
00:12:37,508 --> 00:12:40,210
Oh, hey, hey, Victoria,
thanks again.
257
00:12:40,245 --> 00:12:42,395
Best blind date
I have ever had.
258
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:52,253
I am not gonna let
this one get away.
259
00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:57,557
Oh, boy.
260
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:04,145
You set Joy up with a murderer?
261
00:13:04,206 --> 00:13:07,894
Well, to be fair, at the time I just
thought he was a complete stranger.
262
00:13:07,929 --> 00:13:10,540
Now, can we just focus and figure
out what we should do next?
263
00:13:10,567 --> 00:13:12,534
There's a tip line
number on the screen.
264
00:13:12,568 --> 00:13:14,970
It's ringing. Oh, my God,
how did this happen?
265
00:13:15,004 --> 00:13:17,772
Well, I kinda sorta picked him
when I came in here tonight.
266
00:13:17,806 --> 00:13:21,542
I gave him 200 bucks and told
him to show her a good time.
267
00:13:21,576 --> 00:13:25,211
So he's a murderer
and a hooker!
268
00:13:25,246 --> 00:13:27,714
Oh, hello, hello!
Yes, this is Melanie Moretti.
269
00:13:27,748 --> 00:13:29,848
The suspect that
you're looking for
270
00:13:29,883 --> 00:13:31,617
is at Stormy's on Euclid.
271
00:13:31,651 --> 00:13:34,499
And the only thing I
hate more than beets
272
00:13:34,540 --> 00:13:35,840
is Helen Mirren.
273
00:13:37,655 --> 00:13:39,655
Kiss me.
274
00:13:40,324 --> 00:13:42,458
Hurry! Hurry!
He's kissing her!
275
00:13:43,216 --> 00:13:44,426
Okay, thank you.
276
00:13:44,461 --> 00:13:46,962
Okay, he said to stay
calm and act normal.
277
00:13:46,996 --> 00:13:49,406
And we have to try and keep
him here until they arrive.
278
00:13:49,419 --> 00:13:52,000
Okay, well, let's just get rid of
our dates so that we can focus.
279
00:13:52,034 --> 00:13:56,134
Oh, gosh, you know, considering
everything, maybe my date's not so bad.
280
00:13:58,873 --> 00:14:00,423
Oh, who am I kidding?
281
00:14:02,406 --> 00:14:04,744
- Everything okay?
- Wow...
282
00:14:04,779 --> 00:14:07,079
That jacket really
does wonders for you.
283
00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:08,814
Yeah, I got it
right off the rack.
284
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:12,348
Don't say rack.
285
00:14:12,818 --> 00:14:14,252
Listen, Chester,
286
00:14:14,286 --> 00:14:16,354
I don't think it's gonna
work out between us.
287
00:14:16,388 --> 00:14:18,889
But we didn't even
finish dinner yet.
288
00:14:18,923 --> 00:14:20,190
Sorry for whatever
it is I did wrong.
289
00:14:20,224 --> 00:14:22,659
Wait, wait. Come here.
290
00:14:22,693 --> 00:14:27,829
Um, excuse me, do you
find this man attractive?
291
00:14:27,864 --> 00:14:28,997
And she's cute, right?
292
00:14:29,031 --> 00:14:30,332
- Yeah.
- Good. Great.
293
00:14:30,366 --> 00:14:31,799
Why don't you sit down
and buy her a drink.
294
00:14:31,834 --> 00:14:33,000
- Really?
- Really.
295
00:14:33,035 --> 00:14:34,835
- Well, okay.
- No, no, no.
296
00:14:34,869 --> 00:14:38,871
Keep that on...Forever.
297
00:14:38,905 --> 00:14:41,155
Let's go.
298
00:14:41,375 --> 00:14:42,575
I suppose you're right.
299
00:14:42,610 --> 00:14:44,677
I guess I wasn't really ready
to get out there after all.
300
00:14:44,711 --> 00:14:46,978
You know what, it's okay. It's okay.
It was very nice to meet you,
301
00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:47,979
and I wish you
nothing but the best.
302
00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:49,847
You know, I think why
303
00:14:49,881 --> 00:14:51,515
my wife's death
is so hard on me
304
00:14:51,549 --> 00:14:53,717
is that I never got a
chance to say good-bye.
305
00:14:53,751 --> 00:14:56,019
I got to the hospital
ten minutes too late.
306
00:14:56,054 --> 00:14:58,188
Oh, you poor thing.
307
00:14:58,222 --> 00:15:00,690
I know this is gonna sound odd,
308
00:15:00,724 --> 00:15:02,825
but with you being
so much like her,
309
00:15:02,859 --> 00:15:04,560
I feel like it would
help give me closure
310
00:15:04,594 --> 00:15:06,662
if I could say good-bye
to you in the way
311
00:15:06,696 --> 00:15:08,230
that I wanted to say
good-bye to her.
312
00:15:08,264 --> 00:15:11,532
Oh, you know,
that's-- I don't know.
313
00:15:11,567 --> 00:15:13,500
- Yeah, it's too much.
- Yeah.
314
00:15:13,535 --> 00:15:17,404
- I get it. I'll go.
- Okay. Okay.
315
00:15:17,438 --> 00:15:20,140
Oh, go ahead, say good-bye.
316
00:15:20,174 --> 00:15:22,675
Oh, thank you.
317
00:15:25,778 --> 00:15:29,046
Honey, you're the most
amazing woman I've ever met.
318
00:15:30,401 --> 00:15:33,801
Your strength, grace,
and courage will be with me always.
319
00:15:33,904 --> 00:15:34,954
I love you.
320
00:15:35,455 --> 00:15:36,505
Okey-dokey!
321
00:15:39,525 --> 00:15:42,091
May I give her a little kiss?
322
00:15:42,126 --> 00:15:45,494
It's me, not her.
But whatever.
323
00:15:48,649 --> 00:15:52,607
I'd give anything to make
love to her one last time.
324
00:15:53,904 --> 00:15:55,934
And we're done here.
325
00:15:58,037 --> 00:15:59,771
Guess what happened to me!
326
00:15:59,806 --> 00:16:01,689
Elka, not now. We're in
the middle of a crisis.
327
00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:03,074
I got engaged.
328
00:16:07,445 --> 00:16:09,579
- I knew you'd like him!
- He's amazing.
329
00:16:09,614 --> 00:16:12,314
Oh, no, he's paying the bill!
He's gonna go. We have to keep him here.
330
00:16:12,349 --> 00:16:13,315
Oh, my God,
what are we gonna do?
331
00:16:13,349 --> 00:16:17,252
Who cares about Joy? What about me?
I'm getting married.
332
00:16:17,286 --> 00:16:20,287
I'm, like, 100!
333
00:16:20,322 --> 00:16:25,758
Listen, Victoria accidentally
set Joy up with a murderer.
334
00:16:27,794 --> 00:16:30,796
I'm conflicted.
335
00:16:33,797 --> 00:16:35,767
I am on a great date
for once in my life,
336
00:16:35,802 --> 00:16:37,102
and you guys are
acting like idiots.
337
00:16:37,136 --> 00:16:38,436
What's going on?
338
00:16:39,077 --> 00:16:42,606
Uh, well, I waited
until the last minute,
339
00:16:42,641 --> 00:16:45,409
and I just grabbed the first
guy I could find a the bar,
340
00:16:45,443 --> 00:16:47,811
and I gave him $200
to be your date.
341
00:16:47,845 --> 00:16:51,447
What? You paid Steve
to go out with me?
342
00:16:51,482 --> 00:16:53,882
This is all fake?
343
00:16:53,917 --> 00:16:56,692
Oh, my God, this is, like,
the worst thing you've ever done to me.
344
00:16:56,727 --> 00:16:58,308
Well, there's more.
345
00:17:00,821 --> 00:17:04,592
- Uh, he's kind of a...Murderer.
- What?
346
00:17:04,627 --> 00:17:07,495
But the police
are on their way.
347
00:17:07,530 --> 00:17:08,764
Guys, he's coming.
348
00:17:08,798 --> 00:17:10,432
Okay, listen, we have to
try and keep him here,
349
00:17:10,466 --> 00:17:11,500
so just act natural.
350
00:17:11,534 --> 00:17:13,635
How do I act natural
with a murderer?
351
00:17:13,669 --> 00:17:15,803
Just do the opposite of that.
352
00:17:17,188 --> 00:17:19,106
So, Joy, are you ready to go?
353
00:17:19,140 --> 00:17:22,508
My van's parked out front.
354
00:17:23,173 --> 00:17:24,308
Your van?
355
00:17:24,348 --> 00:17:26,877
He has a van!
356
00:17:26,911 --> 00:17:27,944
Are you okay?
357
00:17:27,978 --> 00:17:29,946
- Why don't you join us for dessert?
- Yes.
358
00:17:29,980 --> 00:17:32,248
You know, to be honest,
I was just...
359
00:17:32,282 --> 00:17:33,415
Hoping to get Joy alone.
360
00:17:33,450 --> 00:17:35,918
No! I mean-- tell
me what I mean!
361
00:17:35,952 --> 00:17:38,653
- She has a rare disease.
- Joy's a lesbian.
362
00:17:38,688 --> 00:17:39,688
Hey.
363
00:17:40,689 --> 00:17:41,689
Oh, God!
364
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:48,571
Now can we talk
about my engagement?
365
00:17:56,830 --> 00:17:59,031
As soon as he was on the
floor writhing in pain,
366
00:17:59,065 --> 00:18:00,399
I could see that
367
00:18:00,433 --> 00:18:03,669
the sketch really didn't
look that much like him.
368
00:18:03,703 --> 00:18:06,039
Then why did you kick him?
369
00:18:06,073 --> 00:18:09,676
The police did say that these
mistakes happen all the time.
370
00:18:09,710 --> 00:18:12,278
Joy, I am so sorry
about everything.
371
00:18:12,312 --> 00:18:15,047
You should be.
I knew this would happen.
372
00:18:15,918 --> 00:18:18,868
Listen, of all the things
that happened tonight,
373
00:18:19,135 --> 00:18:20,952
the one thing that I
can't get out of my mind
374
00:18:20,986 --> 00:18:22,820
is the look on your
face when you thought
375
00:18:22,854 --> 00:18:25,656
I had finally done this
great thing for you.
376
00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:28,140
And then all I did
was disappoint you.
377
00:18:29,527 --> 00:18:32,328
I wasn't a good friend, and I will
never forgive myself for that.
378
00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:37,499
Of course you will.
And I will too.
379
00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:39,567
I thought Steve was
the perfect guy
380
00:18:39,602 --> 00:18:42,937
because everything he said were
things you knew I would love.
381
00:18:42,971 --> 00:18:45,797
Things only a best
friend would know.
382
00:18:45,899 --> 00:18:48,942
You know me well.
383
00:18:49,892 --> 00:18:50,892
Still, I--
384
00:18:53,953 --> 00:18:55,953
I would like you to have this.
385
00:18:58,949 --> 00:19:01,419
You know me very well!
386
00:19:02,941 --> 00:19:05,889
At least Joy's date
didn't have a dead wife.
387
00:19:05,924 --> 00:19:06,924
Or boobs.
388
00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:11,294
My date had both.
389
00:19:12,154 --> 00:19:15,129
So, Elka, when are you
gonna make it official?
390
00:19:15,164 --> 00:19:18,032
Oh...That's over.
391
00:19:18,066 --> 00:19:19,800
We started having problems.
392
00:19:19,834 --> 00:19:21,935
- Oh...
- What happened?
393
00:19:21,969 --> 00:19:25,105
Well, we got along fine,
394
00:19:25,139 --> 00:19:29,809
but he wouldn't go downtown,
if you know what I mean.
395
00:19:33,782 --> 00:19:35,032
What?
396
00:19:35,181 --> 00:19:37,781
I mean, there are so
many good restaurants
397
00:19:37,816 --> 00:19:41,218
and shops down there.
398
00:19:41,252 --> 00:19:43,586
I can't give that up.
399
00:19:43,621 --> 00:19:46,455
Of course you do.
400
00:19:46,490 --> 00:19:48,891
What'd you think I
was talking about?
401
00:19:48,925 --> 00:19:51,593
Nothing. Nothing at all.
402
00:19:53,829 --> 00:19:56,597
- Hi.
- Max...
403
00:19:56,632 --> 00:19:59,666
Listen, Elka,
I don't want to lose you.
404
00:19:59,701 --> 00:20:01,501
So if you're still up for it,
405
00:20:01,535 --> 00:20:05,070
I'm willing to try
going downtown.
406
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,809
- You are?
- Yes.
407
00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:13,393
I just hope I won't
get lost down there.
408
00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:18,414
Oh, you won't.
409
00:20:18,448 --> 00:20:22,417
I have no problem
telling you where to go.
410
00:20:22,451 --> 00:20:27,521
It's just that it's so
dark and scary there.
411
00:20:27,555 --> 00:20:29,855
- Happy Birthday.
- Happy Birthday!
412
00:20:30,055 --> 00:20:40,255
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413
00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:44,855
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