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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,607 --> 00:00:04,256 Happily Divorced is shot before a live audience, 2 00:00:04,257 --> 00:00:06,793 and based on what actually happened to me. 3 00:00:07,795 --> 00:00:09,595 Okay, Franny, where do you wanna sit? 4 00:00:09,596 --> 00:00:11,330 I don't care, I'm easy. 5 00:00:11,331 --> 00:00:12,765 All right, how about down there? 6 00:00:12,766 --> 00:00:16,535 With my nose pressed against the screen? 7 00:00:16,570 --> 00:00:18,171 Well, how about these two seats right here? 8 00:00:18,172 --> 00:00:21,063 Right by the speaker? 9 00:00:21,075 --> 00:00:24,376 All right, we are sitting right here. 10 00:00:24,411 --> 00:00:27,180 You mean under the draft? 11 00:00:27,214 --> 00:00:31,283 I mean next to that beautiful man that's sitting by himself. 12 00:00:31,284 --> 00:00:33,886 Ooh, hello, mister. 13 00:00:33,887 --> 00:00:35,822 Excuse me, is this seat taken? 14 00:00:35,856 --> 00:00:37,256 No, please. 15 00:00:37,290 --> 00:00:38,825 Ah, thank you. 16 00:00:40,027 --> 00:00:42,661 He-ey. 17 00:00:42,696 --> 00:00:45,031 Hi. 18 00:00:45,065 --> 00:00:46,432 I think he likes you, Ju. 19 00:00:46,433 --> 00:00:49,702 Strike up a conversation, only be casual. 20 00:00:49,737 --> 00:00:51,704 Okay, I got this. 21 00:00:51,739 --> 00:00:54,273 So, baby, you down with the swirl? 22 00:00:54,307 --> 00:00:57,009 Actually, I'm... I'm here with someone. 23 00:00:57,044 --> 00:00:59,478 Oh, good. I wasn't feeling it either, 24 00:00:59,479 --> 00:01:01,914 I just didn't know how to break it to you. 25 00:01:01,949 --> 00:01:04,564 We're actually celebrating our two-month anniversary tonight. 26 00:01:04,584 --> 00:01:07,353 - Oh, wow, very nice. - Yeah. 27 00:01:07,387 --> 00:01:10,289 Like I give a rat's ass. 28 00:01:10,323 --> 00:01:11,557 Oh, over here. 29 00:01:11,558 --> 00:01:13,025 Don't worry, whoever he's with 30 00:01:13,026 --> 00:01:15,361 won't be nearly as pretty as you. 31 00:01:15,395 --> 00:01:17,202 Thank you, Fran. 32 00:01:17,231 --> 00:01:20,399 Pardon me, excuse me. Pardon me. 'Scuse me. 33 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,268 - Peter? - 'Scuse me, pardon me. 34 00:01:22,302 --> 00:01:25,671 Peter, I saw you! 35 00:01:25,672 --> 00:01:28,374 Ooh, now, this is gonna be better than the movie. 36 00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:34,847 # She was certain # 37 00:01:34,848 --> 00:01:38,317 # That he was her one and only # 38 00:01:38,318 --> 00:01:40,887 # But their union always seemed # 39 00:01:40,888 --> 00:01:43,622 # A little forced # 40 00:01:43,623 --> 00:01:46,458 # She got married anyway # 41 00:01:46,459 --> 00:01:48,594 # Turns out that he was gay # 42 00:01:48,595 --> 00:01:49,962 # They're still in love # 43 00:01:49,963 --> 00:01:52,832 # But now she's Happily Divorced # 44 00:01:52,833 --> 00:01:54,533 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/ 45 00:01:54,534 --> 00:01:57,436 Happy two-month anniversary, Peter. 46 00:01:57,470 --> 00:02:00,306 Funny, you manage to remind me every two seconds 47 00:02:00,307 --> 00:02:04,576 to DVR honey boo boo, but this you forget? 48 00:02:04,611 --> 00:02:07,479 Chris, this is Fran, my ex-wife. 49 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,849 Yeah, I put that together. 50 00:02:09,850 --> 00:02:11,089 Hi, I'm Chris. 51 00:02:11,118 --> 00:02:13,786 Hi. I'm angry and bitter. 52 00:02:13,821 --> 00:02:16,789 Okay, we're gonna need to switch places. 53 00:02:16,790 --> 00:02:18,958 - Why? - Trust me. 54 00:02:18,992 --> 00:02:20,492 Judi. 55 00:02:20,527 --> 00:02:24,864 All right, but talk loud. 56 00:02:24,865 --> 00:02:25,864 Fran... 57 00:02:25,866 --> 00:02:27,967 Don't touch me! 58 00:02:27,968 --> 00:02:31,485 I cannot believe that you have been having a relationship 59 00:02:31,504 --> 00:02:32,705 behind my back. 60 00:02:32,739 --> 00:02:37,409 I had to hear about it at the hobbit? 61 00:02:37,410 --> 00:02:38,978 I don't even wanna talk to you. 62 00:02:39,012 --> 00:02:40,546 But you're gonna. 63 00:02:40,547 --> 00:02:43,983 How can you not tell your wife that you have a boyfriend? 64 00:02:44,017 --> 00:02:47,334 This was cold, Peter. Cold. 65 00:02:47,354 --> 00:02:49,121 Fran, don't be angry. 66 00:02:49,122 --> 00:02:50,990 No, she's not angry, she's hurt. 67 00:02:51,024 --> 00:02:52,424 Thank you. 68 00:02:52,425 --> 00:02:55,828 Your secret boyfriend apparently knows me better than you do! 69 00:02:55,863 --> 00:02:58,231 Fran, I didn't tell anyone. It was new. 70 00:02:58,232 --> 00:02:59,431 And it was a very big commitment. 71 00:02:59,432 --> 00:03:00,900 I wasn't even sure I liked him. 72 00:03:00,901 --> 00:03:03,336 So, thanks. 73 00:03:03,337 --> 00:03:04,703 No, I didn't know if I liked you then. 74 00:03:04,704 --> 00:03:07,639 - Of course I know... - Don't touch me. 75 00:03:07,674 --> 00:03:08,807 Fran... 76 00:03:08,808 --> 00:03:11,944 Nobody wants you to touch them, Peter. 77 00:03:15,883 --> 00:03:17,917 I can't sit through this. Come on, Judi, we're leaving. 78 00:03:17,918 --> 00:03:20,219 Why? I paid 13 bucks. 79 00:03:20,220 --> 00:03:22,121 You got a nine-year-old to buy your ticket, 80 00:03:22,122 --> 00:03:23,856 you only paid seven. Now, move. 81 00:03:23,891 --> 00:03:26,993 - Fran, don't leave. - No! 82 00:03:26,994 --> 00:03:28,594 Franny, will you just come back here? 83 00:03:28,595 --> 00:03:29,695 Shh! 84 00:03:29,729 --> 00:03:32,098 Are you gonna talk through the whole movie? 85 00:03:32,099 --> 00:03:34,833 Thorin makes up with Bilbo the hobbit and then he dies. 86 00:03:34,834 --> 00:03:37,703 The end. 87 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 88 00:03:46,285 --> 00:03:48,753 Oh, well, you finally came home. 89 00:03:48,754 --> 00:03:50,154 Yeah, I had to wait for AAA. 90 00:03:50,155 --> 00:03:53,958 Some jackass let the air out of my tires. 91 00:03:56,495 --> 00:03:57,595 Fran? 92 00:03:57,630 --> 00:04:02,066 Prove it. 93 00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:04,769 Look, I am really sorry. 94 00:04:04,803 --> 00:04:08,248 Do you know how embarrassed I was? 95 00:04:08,274 --> 00:04:10,207 And in front of Judi. 96 00:04:10,242 --> 00:04:11,942 The woman idolizes us. 97 00:04:11,943 --> 00:04:15,146 She only prays that the day she meets the man of her dreams, 98 00:04:15,147 --> 00:04:18,683 and he leaves her, they're as happy as we are. 99 00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:22,052 Look, I didn't tell you about Chris because... 100 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,455 I just needed to keep him to myself. 101 00:04:24,490 --> 00:04:25,723 Why, Peter? 102 00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:27,258 Did you think I was gonna steal him away from you? 103 00:04:27,259 --> 00:04:29,894 I already got a gay guy I can't get rid of. 104 00:04:29,928 --> 00:04:32,797 No, it's because you have a tendency 105 00:04:32,798 --> 00:04:34,365 to be just a little too... 106 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,534 Thin? 107 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:39,236 What was the word I was looking for? 108 00:04:39,271 --> 00:04:41,939 I told you to take the gingko. 109 00:04:41,940 --> 00:04:43,741 But you're so stubborn... 110 00:04:43,776 --> 00:04:44,942 Critical! 111 00:04:44,976 --> 00:04:47,945 Critical? 112 00:04:47,946 --> 00:04:49,580 You know, you got a hole in your head. 113 00:04:49,615 --> 00:04:52,350 I just want it to work with Chris. 114 00:04:52,351 --> 00:04:55,085 I don't need you judging every single thing that he does. 115 00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:56,688 Like if he asked me to brunch or something, 116 00:04:56,689 --> 00:05:00,625 you'd say, "oh, you split the check, what's that all about?" 117 00:05:00,626 --> 00:05:01,968 What is that about? 118 00:05:01,993 --> 00:05:04,629 I don't wanna think about what that's about. 119 00:05:04,630 --> 00:05:05,896 Why? What do you think it's about? 120 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,598 Well... 121 00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:08,733 Now, stop, I don't... I really don't care what it's about. 122 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:10,100 La, la, la, la, la. I just wanna like him. 123 00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:13,638 I want you to like him. I want you to be happy. 124 00:05:13,672 --> 00:05:17,508 I want you to have almost everything that I have. 125 00:05:17,543 --> 00:05:18,909 Well, good. 126 00:05:18,910 --> 00:05:21,412 Because I am having him here tomorrow for brunch. 127 00:05:21,413 --> 00:05:22,412 Good. 128 00:05:22,414 --> 00:05:23,848 Ooh, that reminds me. 129 00:05:23,849 --> 00:05:25,249 I need to get something. 130 00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:28,619 - What? - You out of the house. 131 00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:31,188 Fine, I'll give you your space. 132 00:05:31,189 --> 00:05:33,424 I don't know what you're so worried about me criticizing. 133 00:05:33,425 --> 00:05:34,826 The man's gorgeous. 134 00:05:34,860 --> 00:05:37,328 Yeah, tell me about it. 135 00:05:37,329 --> 00:05:40,398 You don't think he's out of my league, do you? 136 00:05:40,399 --> 00:05:43,468 No, Peter. You're a fantastic catch. 137 00:05:43,469 --> 00:05:46,437 He's lucky to find a guy who's willing to split the check 138 00:05:46,438 --> 00:05:50,241 when he's the one that invited you in the first place. 139 00:05:50,242 --> 00:05:51,376 Fran. 140 00:05:51,410 --> 00:05:53,978 Sorry. One for the road. 141 00:06:03,422 --> 00:06:04,922 Mm. 142 00:06:04,923 --> 00:06:07,592 Peter, I don't know why you've been single for so long. 143 00:06:07,626 --> 00:06:10,928 You're handsome, you're charming, you can cook. 144 00:06:10,962 --> 00:06:13,731 What's wrong with you? What am I not seeing? 145 00:06:13,766 --> 00:06:18,461 Peter... 146 00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:21,806 I don't wanna interrupt, 147 00:06:21,807 --> 00:06:24,942 but are you guys done with the pepper mill? 148 00:06:24,976 --> 00:06:28,212 Franny, why don't you just come out here and join us? 149 00:06:28,213 --> 00:06:29,246 No, no. 150 00:06:29,281 --> 00:06:31,549 I promised I'd stay outta your way. 151 00:06:31,550 --> 00:06:33,751 Ju... just forget I'm here. 152 00:06:33,786 --> 00:06:35,252 I'm sorry. 153 00:06:38,757 --> 00:06:40,157 You know, I don't know if I can eat all this. 154 00:06:40,158 --> 00:06:41,959 It's huge. 155 00:06:45,263 --> 00:06:47,465 Oh, I'm sorry, but you know, 156 00:06:47,466 --> 00:06:51,903 without the visual, it sounded very dirty! 157 00:06:53,639 --> 00:06:55,673 Fran, come out here. 158 00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:58,676 Oh, okay. But only 'cause I need the pepper. 159 00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:00,311 Oh, Fran, I brought some wine. Would you like some? 160 00:07:00,345 --> 00:07:01,512 Sure. 161 00:07:01,513 --> 00:07:04,181 Oh, isn't that, uh... 162 00:07:04,182 --> 00:07:06,083 Chris is a flight attendant. 163 00:07:06,117 --> 00:07:07,852 Oh. 164 00:07:07,853 --> 00:07:10,588 Thank God, because I was gonna say... 165 00:07:10,589 --> 00:07:13,524 Nothing. 166 00:07:13,559 --> 00:07:15,125 Okay, Fran, here's your pepper. 167 00:07:15,126 --> 00:07:16,125 Say when. 168 00:07:16,127 --> 00:07:17,895 When. Good-bye. 169 00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:20,030 Wait, Fran, is that all you're eating? 170 00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:22,667 Oh, yeah, well, you know, I got my wedding coming up. 171 00:07:22,701 --> 00:07:23,901 But you look perfect. 172 00:07:23,936 --> 00:07:26,070 In fact, you're too thin. 173 00:07:26,104 --> 00:07:28,038 Oh... 174 00:07:28,039 --> 00:07:29,406 Stop. 175 00:07:33,779 --> 00:07:34,979 Oh... 176 00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:47,492 Oh, I saw Peter walking across the quad. 177 00:07:47,493 --> 00:07:50,528 I didn't want to look at him 'cause he was so handsome. 178 00:07:50,562 --> 00:07:53,664 - Aw... - And then our eyes met. 179 00:07:53,699 --> 00:07:56,567 And then she spoke. 180 00:07:56,602 --> 00:07:59,036 You know, I can't believe how young you look. 181 00:07:59,070 --> 00:08:01,472 You look like you could still be in college. 182 00:08:01,507 --> 00:08:02,974 Oh, I love him. 183 00:08:02,975 --> 00:08:05,275 What the hell were you worried about? 184 00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:07,645 Okay, Chris, this movie's in 45 minutes. 185 00:08:07,646 --> 00:08:09,580 - We better go. - Okay. 186 00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:11,482 Oh, well, this was very nice. 187 00:08:11,483 --> 00:08:14,552 I'm so glad that we finally had a chance to meet. 188 00:08:14,586 --> 00:08:15,820 Well, why don't you come with? 189 00:08:15,821 --> 00:08:17,121 We'll make up for lost time. 190 00:08:17,155 --> 00:08:19,657 Oh, no, no, no. You don't wanna O.D. on Fran. 191 00:08:19,658 --> 00:08:22,660 She's best taken in small doses. 192 00:08:22,661 --> 00:08:24,395 Peter's right. 193 00:08:24,396 --> 00:08:26,196 You guys go and have a good time. 194 00:08:26,231 --> 00:08:28,833 No. You're coming. I insist. 195 00:08:28,867 --> 00:08:32,269 Well, he insisted, Peter. 196 00:08:33,338 --> 00:08:34,672 Oh, that's probably Michael. 197 00:08:34,673 --> 00:08:38,308 My ex-husband. He's coming with. 198 00:08:38,343 --> 00:08:39,677 Hey. Did you have any trouble finding the place? 199 00:08:39,678 --> 00:08:43,614 Yes. My GPS sent me all the way to the valley. 200 00:08:43,615 --> 00:08:46,617 She is such a bitch. 201 00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:52,532 He invited his ex on our date? 202 00:08:52,558 --> 00:08:55,125 Don't you think that's a little, uh... 203 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:58,996 Not weird. 204 00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:07,678 Uh-oh. It's already filling up. 205 00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:09,714 I don't want to sit too close to the screen, 206 00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:11,549 next to a speaker, or under a draft. 207 00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:16,287 I won't do it. 208 00:09:16,288 --> 00:09:18,723 Oy, is this guy ever a pain in the ass. 209 00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:20,124 Franny. 210 00:09:20,158 --> 00:09:23,794 I'm not criticizing Chris, it's that other one. 211 00:09:23,828 --> 00:09:25,563 Guys, uh, we'll just sit right here, okay? 212 00:09:25,564 --> 00:09:26,563 - Okay, perfect. - Fine. 213 00:09:26,565 --> 00:09:28,299 Okay. 214 00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:29,299 Oh... 215 00:09:29,301 --> 00:09:33,837 The floor is so sticky. 216 00:09:35,173 --> 00:09:37,107 Hey, Pete, could... Could I get my red vines? 217 00:09:37,142 --> 00:09:38,175 - Oh, sorry, here. - Thank you. 218 00:09:38,176 --> 00:09:40,278 - Do you have my drink? - Oh. 219 00:09:40,279 --> 00:09:41,445 - Here you go. - Thank you. 220 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:44,081 This isn't right, we should switch seats. 221 00:09:44,115 --> 00:09:45,949 You're absolutely right. 222 00:09:56,728 --> 00:09:58,663 Oh... 223 00:10:02,033 --> 00:10:03,334 Fran. 224 00:10:03,335 --> 00:10:06,771 Well, is he going to text during the movie too? 225 00:10:06,805 --> 00:10:11,108 I'm sure he's going to shut it off. 226 00:10:11,142 --> 00:10:15,145 Just that my eye keeps being drawn to the light. 227 00:10:16,815 --> 00:10:20,083 - You want some popcorn, hon? - Oh, yes, please. 228 00:10:20,118 --> 00:10:22,453 Wow, he still calls him "hon." 229 00:10:22,454 --> 00:10:25,790 Don't you think that's odd, sweetie? 230 00:10:25,824 --> 00:10:27,925 Why are you doing this? 231 00:10:27,959 --> 00:10:32,463 What? I ju... I just think it's a little weird. 232 00:10:32,464 --> 00:10:36,867 I mean, what, is Michael gonna schlep along on all your dates? 233 00:10:36,868 --> 00:10:39,837 Like a third wheel? 234 00:10:39,838 --> 00:10:44,442 Just... it's not healthy, is the thing. 235 00:10:44,476 --> 00:10:46,610 Fran, they still live together. 236 00:10:46,611 --> 00:10:47,812 Look, Chris is just being sweet. 237 00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:49,380 Michael had nowhere to go tonight. 238 00:10:49,414 --> 00:10:51,382 They still live together? 239 00:10:51,416 --> 00:10:54,184 Oh, I don't like that. 240 00:10:54,185 --> 00:10:56,554 Will you just stop talking? The movie's starting. 241 00:10:56,588 --> 00:10:58,188 It's just the announcement asking you to... 242 00:10:58,223 --> 00:11:01,726 Refrain from texting. 243 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:05,229 I just think that you and Chris are a new couple. 244 00:11:05,230 --> 00:11:07,898 I mean, wouldn't he rather be alone with you? 245 00:11:07,932 --> 00:11:08,999 Of course he would, Fran. 246 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,234 Now, you're just doing 247 00:11:10,235 --> 00:11:11,802 exactly what you said you weren't going to do. 248 00:11:11,803 --> 00:11:14,372 You can stop it. These are your issues. 249 00:11:14,406 --> 00:11:18,409 It doesn't bother me. 250 00:11:20,512 --> 00:11:24,214 I just don't understand why he's always with us. It's weird. 251 00:11:24,249 --> 00:11:26,784 Well, what's weird about it? I invited Fran too. 252 00:11:26,818 --> 00:11:28,719 Oh, well, you're just inviting everybody. 253 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:30,554 Everybody's welcome. 254 00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:32,155 Okay, I'm closing down. 255 00:11:32,156 --> 00:11:34,892 This is a side of you I'm not receptive to. 256 00:11:34,926 --> 00:11:38,262 Yeah? Well, that's a side of you I'm not receptive to. 257 00:11:38,296 --> 00:11:42,165 I don't need this. I have walls to stencil. 258 00:11:43,769 --> 00:11:45,836 Peter, where's all this hostility coming from? 259 00:11:45,837 --> 00:11:50,173 I told you, they're weird when they come out in their 40s. 260 00:11:51,643 --> 00:11:54,278 I just feel like you don't want to be alone with me. 261 00:11:54,312 --> 00:11:56,313 You know what? Right now, I don't. 262 00:11:56,347 --> 00:11:58,449 - Oh, really? - Yes, really. 263 00:11:58,450 --> 00:12:00,150 Okay, this is stressing me out. 264 00:12:00,151 --> 00:12:03,921 I'm gonna go calm down at restoration hardware. 265 00:12:03,922 --> 00:12:05,923 Well, wait a minute. I'm coming. 266 00:12:05,957 --> 00:12:08,225 You know what, this is making me rethink this whole thing. 267 00:12:08,226 --> 00:12:11,995 You, me, our little Ethiopian baby girl. 268 00:12:12,030 --> 00:12:16,934 Don't bring little Maddy Claire into this. 269 00:12:16,968 --> 00:12:19,603 Well, I'm sorry, but I don't like the person I see. 270 00:12:19,638 --> 00:12:22,640 Where'd all this negativity come from? 271 00:12:31,249 --> 00:12:32,349 Fran! 272 00:12:32,350 --> 00:12:33,551 Shut up! 273 00:12:33,552 --> 00:12:34,885 You shut up! 274 00:12:34,886 --> 00:12:36,386 He abolishes slavery, he goes to a play, 275 00:12:36,387 --> 00:12:40,390 gets shot in the head and dies! 276 00:12:44,162 --> 00:12:46,530 I can't believe you just ruined 277 00:12:46,531 --> 00:12:50,133 the end of the movie for me. 278 00:12:55,607 --> 00:12:56,974 Chris was perfect for me. 279 00:12:57,008 --> 00:12:58,776 Why did this have to happen? 280 00:12:58,777 --> 00:13:01,745 Oh, Mr. Peter, it kills me to see you this way. 281 00:13:01,746 --> 00:13:05,148 So, I'm gonna go. 282 00:13:05,149 --> 00:13:08,251 Why did I let her get into my head? 283 00:13:08,252 --> 00:13:10,955 Teresa, he's still talking. 284 00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:13,791 Of course I didn't clock out. I'm not an idiot. 285 00:13:13,825 --> 00:13:17,160 Look, Mr. Peter... 286 00:13:17,195 --> 00:13:21,499 Sometimes you just have to block the voice out of your head. 287 00:13:21,533 --> 00:13:24,802 Why do you think I'm always using the leaf blower? 288 00:13:24,803 --> 00:13:28,205 You don't even have any trees. 289 00:13:28,239 --> 00:13:32,476 Cesar, thank you so much for staying here with me. 290 00:13:32,511 --> 00:13:34,244 Well, I'm your friend, Mr. Peter. 291 00:13:34,278 --> 00:13:36,380 All I want is a man to love 292 00:13:36,381 --> 00:13:38,682 and to wake up next to every morning. 293 00:13:38,717 --> 00:13:41,184 I'm not that good a friend. 294 00:13:45,023 --> 00:13:46,757 Peter. 295 00:13:46,758 --> 00:13:48,759 Where did you disappear to? 296 00:13:48,793 --> 00:13:50,995 I know that you heard me yelling your name 297 00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:55,165 as you were racing down the escalator. 298 00:13:55,166 --> 00:13:57,935 Prove it. 299 00:13:57,969 --> 00:13:59,102 What happened? 300 00:13:59,103 --> 00:14:00,571 One minute you're watching the movie, 301 00:14:00,572 --> 00:14:02,372 the next minute you all get up to go pee. 302 00:14:02,407 --> 00:14:04,508 Men don't go to the bathroom together, Fran. 303 00:14:04,543 --> 00:14:06,510 Not even gay men? 304 00:14:06,545 --> 00:14:08,913 No, not even gay men. 305 00:14:08,914 --> 00:14:11,415 What happened, Fran, was that Chris broke up with me. 306 00:14:11,449 --> 00:14:13,183 Why? What happened? 307 00:14:13,217 --> 00:14:14,952 Well, I told him he was too involved with his ex 308 00:14:14,953 --> 00:14:16,219 and that it was weird. 309 00:14:16,254 --> 00:14:17,922 Oh, so you agreed with me. 310 00:14:17,956 --> 00:14:20,558 No, you put that in my head! 311 00:14:20,592 --> 00:14:23,761 Oh, Peter, I'm sorry. 312 00:14:23,762 --> 00:14:26,664 But you know, you woulda never had a minute's peace with Chris 313 00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:28,566 with Michael tagging along. 314 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:32,770 I've seen conjoined twins that are less attached at the hip. 315 00:14:32,804 --> 00:14:35,138 You've seen. You, you, you. 316 00:14:35,139 --> 00:14:37,107 This isn't about you, Fran, it's about me, 317 00:14:37,108 --> 00:14:38,241 and I liked things the way they were. 318 00:14:38,242 --> 00:14:39,977 I liked Chris, he liked me. 319 00:14:39,978 --> 00:14:42,846 He even liked my webbed toes. 320 00:14:42,847 --> 00:14:47,317 Well, if the man liked your webbed toe, there's still hope. 321 00:14:47,318 --> 00:14:50,220 Still hope. Let me read you his last four texts. 322 00:14:50,221 --> 00:14:52,623 "Stop calling me." "I never want to see you again." 323 00:14:52,624 --> 00:14:54,992 "It's over." "Good-bye." 324 00:14:54,993 --> 00:14:59,997 The bigger the fight, the better the makeup sex. 325 00:15:03,668 --> 00:15:07,337 All I know, Fran, 326 00:15:07,338 --> 00:15:09,239 is that for the first time since I came out, 327 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:13,176 I actually saw a future for myself. 328 00:15:13,211 --> 00:15:14,411 Oh, Peter... 329 00:15:14,445 --> 00:15:17,047 Thanks a lot, Fran. 330 00:15:20,685 --> 00:15:23,887 Shoulda gone to see Hotel Transylvania. 331 00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:33,131 Where the hell is it? 332 00:15:33,132 --> 00:15:37,068 I put this beautiful box of Chablis in here to chill. 333 00:15:37,069 --> 00:15:39,437 Babe, you bending over like that 334 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:42,273 is all the intoxication I need. 335 00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:47,578 Oh, it's such a huge mess. 336 00:15:47,612 --> 00:15:49,447 Where do I begin? 337 00:15:49,481 --> 00:15:52,250 As close to "good-bye" as possible. 338 00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:54,885 Peter and I haven't talked in days. 339 00:15:54,886 --> 00:15:56,654 We had a huge fight. 340 00:15:56,655 --> 00:15:59,890 It turns out that he's been keeping a big secret from me. 341 00:15:59,925 --> 00:16:02,593 Oy, we're going back that far? 342 00:16:02,627 --> 00:16:05,530 No, daddy. He's got a boyfriend. 343 00:16:05,564 --> 00:16:06,797 For two months! 344 00:16:06,798 --> 00:16:08,766 And now it's over, and he blames you. 345 00:16:08,767 --> 00:16:09,767 Yes. 346 00:16:09,801 --> 00:16:13,237 Good. That saved us a half an hour. 347 00:16:13,272 --> 00:16:16,307 All I did was make some passing observations. 348 00:16:16,341 --> 00:16:18,109 I didn't want them to break up. 349 00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:20,478 And it's not like I stuck my hand up his butt 350 00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:24,115 and moved his mouth for him. 351 00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:27,385 Darling, you can't interfere. 352 00:16:27,386 --> 00:16:28,986 Love is blind. 353 00:16:28,987 --> 00:16:32,156 Did I not bite my tongue when you married a gay man? 354 00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:36,227 Yeah, you did, ma. And here we are. 355 00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:40,364 No, look, I don't want to be insensitive, but we ha... 356 00:16:40,365 --> 00:16:42,766 We wanna get it on. 357 00:16:42,801 --> 00:16:45,736 I know, daddy, I'm not an idiot, 358 00:16:45,770 --> 00:16:47,771 but you've been having sex since the magna carta. 359 00:16:47,772 --> 00:16:51,609 Can you wait five minutes? 360 00:16:51,643 --> 00:16:54,145 Peter was always pointing out Elliot's flaws, 361 00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:56,114 but he said it was for my own good. 362 00:16:56,148 --> 00:16:58,916 Meanwhile, when I do it, suddenly I'm the enemy. 363 00:16:58,950 --> 00:17:01,185 The difference is, against Peter's better judgment, 364 00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:05,756 he went to Elliot and got him to propose. 365 00:17:05,757 --> 00:17:08,092 That's right, ma. He did. 366 00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:10,261 Dori, Laker game starts in ten minutes. 367 00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:14,565 If you want foreplay... 368 00:17:14,566 --> 00:17:16,134 Go to your ex-husband's ex-boyfriend 369 00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:18,035 and make things right like Peter did for you. 370 00:17:18,036 --> 00:17:21,606 Boom! 371 00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:24,675 You're right, ma. That's what I gotta do. 372 00:17:24,676 --> 00:17:27,111 Gee, you're really on top of it tonight. 373 00:17:27,146 --> 00:17:30,881 That's my goal. 374 00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:46,264 Oh, these floors are so sticky. 375 00:17:50,269 --> 00:17:54,738 I don't want to alarm you, but I followed you here. 376 00:17:56,542 --> 00:18:01,512 My ex-husband yearns to be with you. 377 00:18:01,547 --> 00:18:03,847 Fran? 378 00:18:03,882 --> 00:18:08,085 Oh, he yearns to be with him. 379 00:18:08,086 --> 00:18:10,087 Oh, Chris. 380 00:18:10,121 --> 00:18:14,425 I feel so awful about what happened with you and Peter. 381 00:18:14,459 --> 00:18:16,860 I appreciate that, Fran, but I don't want to go back there. 382 00:18:16,890 --> 00:18:19,091 No, you have to go back. 383 00:18:16,895 --> 00:18:18,095 No, you have to go back. 384 00:18:19,125 --> 00:18:20,892 Peter's such a wonderful guy, 385 00:18:20,893 --> 00:18:24,329 and you're the first man that he's ever had feelings for. 386 00:18:24,363 --> 00:18:29,268 Fran, just once I'd like to see a movie all the way through. 387 00:18:29,302 --> 00:18:32,371 But you don't know how this breakup has affected Peter. 388 00:18:32,372 --> 00:18:35,207 He's crushed. He's devastated. 389 00:18:35,208 --> 00:18:37,610 - I'm so worried about him. - Pardon me, excuse me. 390 00:18:37,644 --> 00:18:39,645 - Pardon me. - Peter! 391 00:18:39,646 --> 00:18:41,114 Pardon me, excuse me, pardon me. 392 00:18:41,115 --> 00:18:43,750 Peter. 393 00:18:43,784 --> 00:18:46,887 You got back together with Chris and you didn't tell me? 394 00:18:46,921 --> 00:18:48,355 You bet. 395 00:18:48,389 --> 00:18:51,091 Smart move. 396 00:18:51,125 --> 00:18:53,627 - I'll get my things. - No, no, Fran. 397 00:18:53,628 --> 00:18:54,928 - Sit down. - Really? 398 00:18:54,929 --> 00:18:58,799 - Yeah. - All right. 399 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,101 And, Fran... 400 00:19:00,135 --> 00:19:01,436 You know, you weren't wrong. 401 00:19:01,437 --> 00:19:03,338 Michael and I were too connected. 402 00:19:03,339 --> 00:19:04,873 I mean, what am I doing still living with him? 403 00:19:04,907 --> 00:19:07,409 It was a little weird. 404 00:19:07,443 --> 00:19:09,544 We split up a year ago. 405 00:19:09,545 --> 00:19:10,946 And I know the house hasn't sold, 406 00:19:10,947 --> 00:19:12,247 but that's no excuse. 407 00:19:12,281 --> 00:19:16,351 It's really not an excuse, Chris. 408 00:19:16,352 --> 00:19:18,353 I mean, you know, if you want to be 409 00:19:18,354 --> 00:19:19,955 in a relationship with someone new... 410 00:19:19,956 --> 00:19:22,658 He gets it, Fran, he's moving on. 411 00:19:22,659 --> 00:19:25,126 Yeah, and I'm gonna get my own place. 412 00:19:25,127 --> 00:19:27,429 I kinda wanna see how it shakes out with this guy that I like. 413 00:19:27,463 --> 00:19:30,633 What guy? 414 00:19:30,634 --> 00:19:32,902 Oh, me. 415 00:19:32,936 --> 00:19:35,672 You see, everything works out in the end. 416 00:19:35,673 --> 00:19:37,640 People that are in a relationship, 417 00:19:37,641 --> 00:19:39,843 they need to have their space. 418 00:19:39,844 --> 00:19:41,077 You don't need someone 419 00:19:41,078 --> 00:19:44,848 getting in the middle of what you two have. 420 00:19:44,849 --> 00:19:48,251 Four's an odd number. 421 00:19:51,254 --> 00:19:53,690 See, this is the way it should be. 422 00:19:53,691 --> 00:19:55,357 This is normal. 423 00:19:55,358 --> 00:19:59,515 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/ 424 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:03,127 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player 425 00:20:03,177 --> 00:20:07,727 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 30893

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