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1
00:00:00,100 --> 00:00:01,837
Previously on "Gravity"...
2
00:00:01,838 --> 00:00:02,854
- He's here!
- Just ignore them.
3
00:00:02,921 --> 00:00:05,988
- I want to open my own vintage
store. - I think it's a great idea.
4
00:00:06,056 --> 00:00:07,090
Lots of love.
5
00:00:07,157 --> 00:00:08,625
Miller: I need to know
what's going on, Lily.
6
00:00:08,693 --> 00:00:11,260
- Am I required to be talking
to you? - Mind if I look around?
7
00:00:11,328 --> 00:00:12,361
Have a party.
8
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:13,829
- Oh, are you an artist?
- Give it!
9
00:00:13,897 --> 00:00:15,331
- Tell me who it is.
- It's my boyfriend in heaven
10
00:00:15,399 --> 00:00:16,999
who I made love to
when I flatlined.
11
00:00:17,067 --> 00:00:18,901
Okay, but no coffee.
Just come up.
12
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:24,440
I'm so getting
laid tonight.
13
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:37,000
Sync by fant0m
www.addic7ed.com
14
00:00:38,355 --> 00:00:40,256
[ grunting ]
15
00:00:45,829 --> 00:00:49,598
I love you pulling my hair,
baby, but use both hands.
16
00:00:49,666 --> 00:00:53,135
Stick it in.
Stop fingering me.
17
00:00:53,203 --> 00:00:55,171
[ sighs ]
18
00:00:58,708 --> 00:01:01,377
[ grunting ]
19
00:01:01,444 --> 00:01:03,212
Mmm.
20
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,181
Hey, okay, get...
Get on your back.
21
00:01:06,016 --> 00:01:07,283
Okay, ready?
22
00:01:07,350 --> 00:01:08,818
Can you feel it?
Isn't it in?
23
00:01:08,885 --> 00:01:10,152
It is, right?
Yeah, yeah, it is.
24
00:01:10,220 --> 00:01:11,387
Um...
25
00:01:11,454 --> 00:01:13,989
[ both grunt ]
26
00:01:14,057 --> 00:01:15,124
[ sighs ]
27
00:01:15,192 --> 00:01:17,293
Come on.
28
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,461
I'm sorry, Jorge.
I really like you.
29
00:01:19,529 --> 00:01:24,066
You're a great guy,
but I have to feel something.
30
00:01:24,134 --> 00:01:26,802
Your dick is just too small. [ sighs ]
31
00:01:26,870 --> 00:01:29,738
I can't see
you anymore.
32
00:01:29,806 --> 00:01:31,707
Wait.
33
00:01:33,243 --> 00:01:34,977
[ sighs ]
34
00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:44,186
Clear on avenue a,
jimmy?
35
00:01:44,254 --> 00:01:46,822
Goose, 3rd street...
you clear?
36
00:01:46,890 --> 00:01:49,158
Avenue b...
you clear, ralphie?
37
00:01:49,226 --> 00:01:50,626
It's ready to go.
38
00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:55,564
Everyone clear
from the building!
39
00:02:07,177 --> 00:02:12,448
Three, two, one.
40
00:02:12,515 --> 00:02:14,516
[ speaking spanish ]
41
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,823
[ explosion ]
42
00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:22,324
Bullshit.
43
00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,994
The building completely exploded
with you in it,
44
00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:26,128
And you didn't die?
45
00:02:26,196 --> 00:02:28,831
God wasn't ready
to take him.
46
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,966
Amen.
Amen.
47
00:02:31,034 --> 00:02:33,302
I don't mean to be,
um, indelicate,
48
00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,838
And I mean this
as a compliment.
49
00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:38,540
You might have
body dysmorphia,
50
00:02:38,608 --> 00:02:41,644
Because you look... you look
fairly well off there.
51
00:02:41,711 --> 00:02:43,646
Oh, this?
52
00:02:43,713 --> 00:02:45,047
Mm-hmm.
Oh.
53
00:02:45,115 --> 00:02:47,483
Oh, no, this is fake.
54
00:02:47,550 --> 00:02:49,985
No, Jorge. Jorge.
55
00:02:50,053 --> 00:02:52,855
Jor... Jorge, stop.
Put that away. Jorge, stop!
56
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:54,323
[ gasps ]
57
00:02:54,391 --> 00:02:57,226
Stop now, put that away,
and zip up your pants.
58
00:02:57,294 --> 00:03:00,796
No, no, no, no. My... my real
dick is way smaller, see?
59
00:03:00,864 --> 00:03:02,798
Wait, stop! Jorge, stop!
[ laughter continues ]
60
00:03:02,866 --> 00:03:04,233
Sorry.
61
00:03:05,035 --> 00:03:06,335
Zip up your pants.
Okay.
62
00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:08,170
Fake-dick-having
motherfucker.
63
00:03:08,238 --> 00:03:11,373
I don't want to monopolize the
group with my comic stylings.
64
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:14,310
But if you want, you can see them
tonight. What... what do you mean?
65
00:03:14,377 --> 00:03:19,181
Ever since I was little,
I always wanted to be a comic.
66
00:03:19,249 --> 00:03:21,283
There you go.
Pass those down.
67
00:03:21,351 --> 00:03:23,886
See, but, uh,
my father...
68
00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:27,890
He was in construction, right,
so I didn't have a choice.
69
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:30,526
Dogg says...
70
00:03:30,593 --> 00:03:34,530
We need to change
who we were, right?
71
00:03:34,597 --> 00:03:37,533
This is me changing.
How do you like that?
72
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:40,536
So, you're doing this
not because I said so
73
00:03:40,603 --> 00:03:42,237
But because
you really want to?
74
00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:46,075
Exactly, Dogg.
Exactly.
75
00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:48,477
Hmm.
76
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:52,181
[ indistinct conversations ]
77
00:03:52,248 --> 00:03:55,184
Woman: Saving up for what
you want to study, or...
78
00:03:55,251 --> 00:03:57,853
Jorge: You know, I never
generate anything like...
79
00:03:57,921 --> 00:03:59,054
Man: Yeah, yeah.
Really?
80
00:03:59,122 --> 00:04:01,056
Robert:
Is everything okay?
81
00:04:01,124 --> 00:04:03,826
Yeah.
82
00:04:03,893 --> 00:04:06,095
So, uh, who was
that guy last night?
83
00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:08,097
Nobody. He's just a friend.
84
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:10,165
And we just hung out.
85
00:04:10,233 --> 00:04:11,600
He's just a friend?
86
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,235
It's really not
that interesting.
87
00:04:13,303 --> 00:04:15,704
Well, 'cause I was... [
sighs ] I love your look.
88
00:04:15,772 --> 00:04:17,272
Thank you.
89
00:04:19,075 --> 00:04:23,545
People usually are afraid
to...Tell me the truth.
90
00:04:25,248 --> 00:04:28,984
Thanks for telling me
my life was too safe.
91
00:04:29,052 --> 00:04:32,388
It's changed everything...
For the better.
92
00:04:32,455 --> 00:04:33,222
[ laughs ]
93
00:04:33,289 --> 00:04:35,157
Anytime.
94
00:04:35,225 --> 00:04:37,259
How are you?
95
00:04:37,327 --> 00:04:41,830
I'm going to open my own
vintage-clothing store.
96
00:04:41,898 --> 00:04:45,334
I have this idea to redesign
vintage with new fabrics.
97
00:04:45,402 --> 00:04:46,535
Serious?
Yeah.
98
00:04:46,603 --> 00:04:48,337
Well, I'm a seamstress,
99
00:04:48,405 --> 00:04:51,206
So if you ever need any help,
just let me know.
100
00:04:51,274 --> 00:04:52,074
Okay.
101
00:04:52,142 --> 00:04:53,609
[ laughter ]
102
00:04:53,676 --> 00:04:54,576
Yay!
103
00:04:55,745 --> 00:04:58,547
[ telephone ringing,
indistinct conversations ]
104
00:05:14,798 --> 00:05:17,099
Oh, come on, you fucking...
105
00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:27,543
[ telephone ringing ]
106
00:05:29,312 --> 00:05:31,580
Man: Sports.
What's your number?
107
00:05:31,648 --> 00:05:33,549
Yeah, cm1322.
108
00:05:33,616 --> 00:05:34,917
Listen, I know my account's
out of money,
109
00:05:34,984 --> 00:05:36,351
But just give me
100 bucks on the mets,
110
00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:37,853
And I'll give you a grand
on Friday either way.
111
00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:39,488
I wish I could
help you out, sir,
112
00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:41,056
But unless you have funds
in your account,
113
00:05:41,124 --> 00:05:42,157
We can't place a wager.
114
00:05:42,225 --> 00:05:43,425
Come on!
Just look at my account.
115
00:05:43,493 --> 00:05:45,327
I've been betting with
you for 10 years.
116
00:05:45,395 --> 00:05:46,762
Where am I gonna go? It's 100
bucks. I'm really sorry, sir.
117
00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:47,896
[ telephone rings ]
Hold on, hold on!
118
00:05:47,964 --> 00:05:49,398
Miller.
119
00:05:49,466 --> 00:05:51,266
Man #2: Mr. Miller, it's
card services. Hold on.
120
00:05:51,334 --> 00:05:53,168
Listen, are you really trying
to tell me that you're not
121
00:05:53,236 --> 00:05:54,670
Gonna put a fucking measly
$100 bet for me on the mets?
122
00:05:54,737 --> 00:05:55,938
Maybe I should take
my action elsewhere.
123
00:05:56,005 --> 00:05:57,873
Man #1: That would be
up to you, sir.
124
00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,441
You have enough to gamble with
but not to pay your debts?
125
00:05:59,509 --> 00:06:01,410
Look, stop calling me,
okay? Stop calling me. Sir.
126
00:06:01,478 --> 00:06:03,946
I only want to go through the mail
from now on. Only write me letters.
127
00:06:04,013 --> 00:06:06,582
Calls will continue until you make payment
arrangements. I have other callers here.
128
00:06:06,649 --> 00:06:08,016
Well, guess what.
That's illegal, okay?
129
00:06:08,084 --> 00:06:09,685
If I tell you to only go
through the mail,
130
00:06:09,752 --> 00:06:11,520
Then you must only go through
the mail, or it's illegal.
131
00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:13,288
Excuse me, sir. You need
to put it in writing.
132
00:06:13,356 --> 00:06:15,524
What do you want to do, sir? I
have other callers. Mr. Miller.
133
00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:16,925
Okay.
Okay, fuck you, okay?
134
00:06:16,993 --> 00:06:18,360
Fuck you. You feel that?
Fuck you. Feel that?
135
00:06:18,428 --> 00:06:21,396
Fucking, fucking, fucking,
fucking, fucking.
136
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,365
[ sighs ]
137
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:38,213
[ chuckles ]
138
00:06:38,281 --> 00:06:40,048
Fucking retard.
139
00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:57,499
Ophthalmologist.
140
00:06:57,567 --> 00:06:59,001
[ sighs ]
141
00:07:07,911 --> 00:07:09,678
[ sighs ]
142
00:07:12,215 --> 00:07:13,048
[ sighs ]
143
00:07:13,716 --> 00:07:16,185
[ tape measure crashes ]
144
00:07:18,087 --> 00:07:19,588
Hey, buddy, it's matt.
145
00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:21,623
We're really looking forward
to dinner.
146
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,659
Chez jacqueline at 8:00.
Later.
147
00:07:29,832 --> 00:07:32,067
All right, during our 10-minute
date last night,
148
00:07:32,135 --> 00:07:34,636
What's the one thing you said
you wanted most and didn't have?
149
00:07:35,638 --> 00:07:38,073
Lil' kim's ass?
150
00:07:38,141 --> 00:07:40,142
All right, open 'em.
Huh?
151
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:42,644
Cousin's place, so you're gonna
get it for a sick price.
152
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,246
[ laughs ]
153
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:49,084
Go in.
154
00:07:51,754 --> 00:07:54,489
Dr. Collingsworth,
you have a walk-in.
155
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,258
Do you want to see him?
Sure, rhonda. Send him in.
156
00:07:57,994 --> 00:08:00,095
Mr. Miller,
the doctor will see you now.
157
00:08:00,163 --> 00:08:02,097
Miller:
[ clears throat ]
158
00:08:02,165 --> 00:08:04,633
Hi. Hi. I'm Dr. Robert Collingsworth.
159
00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:06,034
Christian Miller.
Just call me "Miller."
160
00:08:06,102 --> 00:08:07,769
Okay, Miller.
Please have a seat.
161
00:08:07,837 --> 00:08:09,671
Thank you.
162
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:12,107
You know, you look
familiar to me, Miller.
163
00:08:12,175 --> 00:08:13,275
Have we met before?
164
00:08:13,343 --> 00:08:14,343
No.
165
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:16,345
Well, I investigated
166
00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:18,180
Lily champagne's
suicide attempt,
167
00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:20,048
And I check up on her from time
to time outside that church
168
00:08:20,116 --> 00:08:21,783
Where you guys have your...
your meetings,
169
00:08:21,851 --> 00:08:23,819
So it's possible
that you saw me there.
170
00:08:23,886 --> 00:08:25,854
So, you're a cop.
Detective, yeah.
171
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,289
Am I being
investigated again?
172
00:08:27,357 --> 00:08:28,390
'cause I thought that was
all finished with
173
00:08:28,458 --> 00:08:29,858
As long as
I went to the group.
174
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,526
No, no, no, no.
You're... you're totally fine.
175
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:34,296
This is just a social call.
Well, not... not social.
176
00:08:34,364 --> 00:08:36,698
See, I was...
I was looking into Lily's case,
177
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,635
And I couldn't help but stumble
upon your whole cliff, car,
178
00:08:39,702 --> 00:08:41,903
You know, youtube video
suicide-dummy thing.
179
00:08:41,971 --> 00:08:43,805
I mean, you're
kind of the most...
180
00:08:43,873 --> 00:08:45,641
Famous suicide fuck-up
in history.
181
00:08:45,708 --> 00:08:47,809
Thank you. I say that
with all due respect.
182
00:08:47,877 --> 00:08:49,511
I mean, you're
a sweet child of God,
183
00:08:49,579 --> 00:08:51,346
And I'm really glad you're
getting your life back together.
184
00:08:51,414 --> 00:08:52,714
And you're clearly
a very celebrated
185
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:53,682
And highly recommended
ophthalmologist,
186
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:55,217
Which is why I came here.
187
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:58,253
See...I'm concerned
that I may have a brain tumor,
188
00:08:58,321 --> 00:08:59,855
Because a couple years ago,
189
00:08:59,922 --> 00:09:01,590
My vision just started getting
190
00:09:01,658 --> 00:09:03,392
A little blurry
around the edges.
191
00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,994
It would only happen after yoga,
like, on the subway platform.
192
00:09:06,062 --> 00:09:08,263
I would look down, and just
things down the platform
193
00:09:08,331 --> 00:09:09,765
Were a little out of focus.
194
00:09:09,832 --> 00:09:11,566
I thought it was maybe
because I just started
195
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:14,002
Becoming a vegan at that point,
so it was a dietary thing.
196
00:09:14,070 --> 00:09:15,537
But now it's...
it's everything.
197
00:09:15,605 --> 00:09:17,039
How old are you?
38.
198
00:09:17,106 --> 00:09:19,675
Well, that is
when it starts to happen.
199
00:09:19,742 --> 00:09:21,043
That's when what happens,
200
00:09:21,110 --> 00:09:22,010
My youth and manner
walk out the door?
201
00:09:22,078 --> 00:09:23,045
[ laughs ]
no, no.
202
00:09:23,112 --> 00:09:24,546
It's nothing that drastic.
203
00:09:24,614 --> 00:09:26,515
Your eyes start going,
and you need reading glasses.
204
00:09:26,582 --> 00:09:27,683
[ chuckles ]
no, no, no.
205
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:29,084
Y-you don't understand.
206
00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:30,519
I have perfect eyesight
my entire life.
207
00:09:30,586 --> 00:09:32,754
Okay, well,
let's check you out.
208
00:09:36,292 --> 00:09:38,527
Tilt your head back,
please.
209
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:44,599
Now please keep your eyes closed
for just a few minutes.
210
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:47,035
I will be right back
in just a few seconds.
211
00:09:47,103 --> 00:09:48,570
So I just sit here like this
till you come back?
212
00:09:48,638 --> 00:09:49,604
That's right.
Rhonda!
213
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:50,672
[ sighs ]
214
00:10:15,798 --> 00:10:17,332
[ door opens ]
215
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,268
Okay, I'm just gonna need
216
00:10:20,336 --> 00:10:22,471
A little bit of information
from you.
217
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,640
I'm really sorry
about your wife.
218
00:10:28,177 --> 00:10:29,678
How did you know
about my wife?
219
00:10:29,746 --> 00:10:33,415
You're a public figure now,
remember?
220
00:10:33,483 --> 00:10:36,151
Yeah. I'm trying to forget.
221
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:39,388
Must have been awful.
I'm... I'm really sorry.
222
00:10:41,357 --> 00:10:44,860
Thank you.
223
00:10:44,927 --> 00:10:46,695
So, you getting
to know Lily at all or...
224
00:10:46,763 --> 00:10:49,765
Yeah.
Oh, she's so great.
225
00:10:49,832 --> 00:10:52,167
Date of birth, please.
226
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,702
1/22/72.
227
00:10:53,770 --> 00:10:56,938
I'm speechless.
228
00:10:57,006 --> 00:10:58,807
What does
"Lily's storeyaa" mean?
229
00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:00,108
No, no, no.
230
00:11:00,176 --> 00:11:04,780
It's "Lily's store, yay."
231
00:11:04,847 --> 00:11:06,681
Oh.
232
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,484
I hate that.
I don't "yay."
233
00:11:09,552 --> 00:11:12,287
I once broke up with a guy
because he "yay'd."
234
00:11:12,355 --> 00:11:15,190
C-come on.
Lily's store, yay!
235
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:16,024
Never.
236
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:17,025
Really?
237
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:17,959
Come on.
238
00:11:26,636 --> 00:11:28,870
[ cellphone rings ]
239
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,740
[ clears throat ]
240
00:11:31,808 --> 00:11:33,141
Just a mate.
241
00:11:33,209 --> 00:11:36,178
Well...
242
00:11:36,245 --> 00:11:37,746
Would you like
to come with me
243
00:11:37,814 --> 00:11:39,414
To this comedy thing
tonight?
244
00:11:40,650 --> 00:11:41,716
Yeah.
245
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:42,851
Yeah, I'll...
246
00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:44,352
I'll, uh,
call you later.
247
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:46,655
Okay.
248
00:11:47,757 --> 00:11:49,224
[ siren wails ]
249
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:50,392
Oh!
Oh!
250
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,726
Sorry.
251
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:53,562
Uh, I'll call...
I'll call you later.
252
00:11:59,569 --> 00:12:01,436
Okay, now, your eyesight
will be a little blurry
253
00:12:01,504 --> 00:12:03,205
Because the drops
have dilated your pupils,
254
00:12:03,272 --> 00:12:05,207
But don't worry.
That'll wear off in a few hours.
255
00:12:05,274 --> 00:12:06,241
Open your eyes, please.
256
00:12:08,010 --> 00:12:09,945
Wow, that sucks.
257
00:12:10,012 --> 00:12:11,580
All right. Okay.
258
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:14,349
Now, I want you to tell me
which set of letters is clearer.
259
00:12:14,417 --> 00:12:17,185
First...Or second?
260
00:12:17,253 --> 00:12:18,086
First.
261
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:19,254
Mm-hmm.
262
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:25,427
First...Or second?
263
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,428
Second.
264
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:31,032
First...Second?
265
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:32,000
First.
266
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:36,972
[ sighs ]
267
00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:52,454
[ sighs ]
268
00:12:57,627 --> 00:13:01,029
[ sighs ]
269
00:13:01,097 --> 00:13:03,465
Mine.
270
00:13:08,971 --> 00:13:10,505
[ giggling ]
271
00:13:14,844 --> 00:13:15,877
Okay.
272
00:13:15,945 --> 00:13:18,413
What's this?
273
00:13:18,481 --> 00:13:19,581
That's a prescription.
274
00:13:19,649 --> 00:13:20,982
What, I need pills
for my condition?
275
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,317
[ chuckles ]
no.
276
00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:24,419
It's a prescription
for reading glasses,
277
00:13:24,487 --> 00:13:26,388
And you have a slight
astigmatism, as well.
278
00:13:26,455 --> 00:13:27,789
[ sighs ]
279
00:13:27,857 --> 00:13:29,391
All right, but...
so, you're certain
280
00:13:29,458 --> 00:13:31,092
That it's...
it's not a brain tumor?
281
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:32,627
I feel 99% sure, yeah.
282
00:13:32,695 --> 00:13:34,563
Yeah, or more affectionately
known as...
283
00:13:34,630 --> 00:13:36,965
I have a 1% chance
of having a brain tumor.
284
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:39,467
Okay.
285
00:13:39,535 --> 00:13:41,503
[ sighs ]
286
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:43,004
Thanks a lot
for seeing me.
287
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:45,407
My pleasure. Thank you.
288
00:13:50,646 --> 00:13:52,213
Oh. Oh!
289
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:57,118
Oh, left, left, left.
290
00:13:57,186 --> 00:13:58,987
And now a right.
291
00:13:59,055 --> 00:13:59,854
[ crash ]
292
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:01,156
C-careful.
293
00:14:01,223 --> 00:14:02,624
Rhonda, please help him.
294
00:14:02,692 --> 00:14:03,525
[ crash ]
295
00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:10,031
Do they work?
296
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:13,969
I hate to admit it,
but I think they do.
297
00:14:14,036 --> 00:14:15,203
Hi, folks. I'm murray hill.
298
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,205
Let's hear some applause.
Come on.
299
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:18,206
[ cheers and applause ]
300
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:20,175
All right. Thank you.
301
00:14:20,242 --> 00:14:22,444
Well, kids, I was born
in the back seat of a cab
302
00:14:22,511 --> 00:14:25,814
On 23rd street and 3rd avenue,
hence the name murray hill.
303
00:14:25,881 --> 00:14:28,984
And moments after I was born,
the cab driver asked my father,
304
00:14:29,051 --> 00:14:31,486
"is it a boy or a girl?"
305
00:14:31,554 --> 00:14:32,887
And my father said, "no."
306
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:34,122
[ laughter ]
307
00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:36,658
Thank you. I love you.
308
00:14:36,726 --> 00:14:38,460
Now, coming to our stage,
309
00:14:38,527 --> 00:14:41,863
This young man is making
his stand-up-comedy debut.
310
00:14:41,931 --> 00:14:44,733
Please put your hands together
real loud.
311
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,335
Ladies and gentlemen,
Jorge Sanchez.
312
00:14:47,403 --> 00:14:50,138
Come on. Come on, guys.
[ cheers and applause ]
313
00:14:52,575 --> 00:14:55,410
All right. Jorge.
314
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,713
Uh...
[ clears throat ]
315
00:14:58,781 --> 00:15:00,215
Buenas noches.
316
00:15:00,282 --> 00:15:02,684
Um...
317
00:15:02,752 --> 00:15:06,988
I have a very...Very...
318
00:15:07,056 --> 00:15:10,392
Very...Small dick.
319
00:15:10,459 --> 00:15:11,693
[ laughter ]
320
00:15:11,761 --> 00:15:15,730
Have you ever seen a ken doll...
321
00:15:15,798 --> 00:15:17,532
Without the clothes on?
322
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,501
Not quite that big.
323
00:15:19,568 --> 00:15:20,902
[ laughter ]
324
00:15:22,071 --> 00:15:24,005
Thank you.
325
00:15:24,073 --> 00:15:25,940
[ laughter ]
326
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:28,710
[ clears throat ]
I have tried everything.
327
00:15:28,778 --> 00:15:32,080
I have tried enhancement pills.
Nothing seems to work.
328
00:15:32,148 --> 00:15:34,683
Uh, but I think that
for a guy like me,
329
00:15:34,750 --> 00:15:36,217
Enhancement pills, you know...
330
00:15:36,285 --> 00:15:39,020
It's kind of like putting
high heels on a midget.
331
00:15:39,088 --> 00:15:41,690
It can really only help so much.
332
00:15:41,757 --> 00:15:43,158
[ laughter ]
333
00:15:43,225 --> 00:15:45,593
Seriously,
even when I ask myself
334
00:15:45,661 --> 00:15:47,028
If I want to jerk off,
335
00:15:47,096 --> 00:15:49,664
I say, "no, thanks,
I have a headache."
336
00:15:49,732 --> 00:15:52,434
[ laughter ]
yeah?
337
00:15:52,501 --> 00:15:54,536
[ applause ]
thank you, thank you.
338
00:15:54,603 --> 00:15:57,539
Um, yeah, I-I-I literally think
339
00:15:57,606 --> 00:16:01,443
That I am one cold swim away
from joining the wnba.
340
00:16:01,510 --> 00:16:04,879
[ laughter ]
right?
341
00:16:04,947 --> 00:16:07,415
Oh, the light is going on.
I believe that is my time.
342
00:16:07,483 --> 00:16:08,416
Thank you.
343
00:16:08,484 --> 00:16:10,752
[ cheers and applause ]
344
00:16:16,158 --> 00:16:17,826
Murray: He killed it,
ladies and gentlemen.
345
00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:21,830
Jorge Sanchez.
Come on, come on!
346
00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:23,698
[ indistinct conversations ]
347
00:16:23,766 --> 00:16:26,501
[ gasps ] yay! Oh, there he is.
348
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:28,136
[ laughs ]
349
00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:30,138
Thank you very much. It was
nice. You were so wonderful.
350
00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:31,673
Right here, man.
351
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:34,275
You were actually
really, really funny, man.
352
00:16:34,343 --> 00:16:36,778
Oh, and your first time?
That was amazing.
353
00:16:36,846 --> 00:16:37,846
I know, I know.
354
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:39,848
Dogg:
That was seriously brave.
355
00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:41,516
I'm proud of you.
356
00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:42,984
Dogg,
thank you.
357
00:16:43,052 --> 00:16:44,385
Thank you.
Thank you all very much.
358
00:16:44,453 --> 00:16:45,787
Yay!
359
00:16:45,855 --> 00:16:47,155
I'm so glad you're
here. That was so good.
360
00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:48,389
Hey, excuse me.
361
00:16:48,457 --> 00:16:50,759
Can I talk to you
for a minute?
362
00:16:51,660 --> 00:16:53,561
Oh. Yeah. S-sure.
363
00:16:55,464 --> 00:16:58,666
So, um, was that all true
what you were saying up there?
364
00:16:58,734 --> 00:17:00,001
[ sighs ]
365
00:17:00,069 --> 00:17:01,402
Sadly, uh, yes.
366
00:17:01,470 --> 00:17:03,204
It's okay.
367
00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:05,406
It's sort of my thing.
368
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:08,510
[ chuckles ]
it is?
369
00:17:08,577 --> 00:17:09,511
[ laughs ]
370
00:17:09,578 --> 00:17:12,013
Let me give you my number.
371
00:17:12,081 --> 00:17:14,115
Yeah, yeah, sure.
372
00:17:15,651 --> 00:17:17,719
Call me.
373
00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:19,053
Okay.
374
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:20,822
[ gasps ]
wow.
375
00:17:20,890 --> 00:17:22,557
[ laughter ]
376
00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:24,592
Yay!
377
00:17:24,660 --> 00:17:25,927
[ sighs ]
378
00:17:30,933 --> 00:17:32,233
[ sighs ]
379
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:34,869
Hey...
hey, man, you were funny.
380
00:17:34,937 --> 00:17:36,070
Oh, yeah?
381
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,939
You think so, man?
Oh, thanks.
382
00:17:38,007 --> 00:17:39,240
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
383
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:40,708
Hey, listen, um,
384
00:17:40,776 --> 00:17:43,878
I'm sorry if, uh,
the midget thing...
385
00:17:43,946 --> 00:17:45,079
Hey, no. Hey, man.
386
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:46,247
[ scoffs ]
hey, funny's funny.
387
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:47,615
Yeah?
Yeah.
388
00:17:47,683 --> 00:17:49,584
All right, man. Cool, man.
Thanks, man.
389
00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:51,052
Hey, no problem.
All right.
390
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:53,221
Hey, yo.
391
00:17:53,289 --> 00:17:54,856
I'm the same.
392
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,601
That doesn't count.
393
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:08,703
You're black.
394
00:18:08,771 --> 00:18:10,638
[ indistinct conversations ]
395
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:26,087
Wow.
396
00:18:26,155 --> 00:18:28,556
What are you doing...
opening up a store?
397
00:18:28,624 --> 00:18:29,791
How did you find me here?
398
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:30,959
You want the truth
or the lie?
399
00:18:31,026 --> 00:18:32,160
What's the lie?
400
00:18:32,228 --> 00:18:33,461
Well...
401
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:35,463
You applied two days ago
over the phone
402
00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:37,799
For a tax I.D.
For your new place of business.
403
00:18:44,139 --> 00:18:45,640
Yeah, but I used
my home address
404
00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:47,275
Because I didn't have
a store yet.
405
00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:48,676
That's very impressive.
406
00:18:48,744 --> 00:18:50,511
I pegged you
as an idiot savant
407
00:18:50,579 --> 00:18:53,147
Who, while very talented
in a lot of areas,
408
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:55,250
Wasn't such
a left-brain thinker.
409
00:18:55,317 --> 00:18:57,518
That may be true,
but I'm not left-brain dead.
410
00:18:58,988 --> 00:19:00,288
So, what's the truth?
411
00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:01,789
I'm following Diego.
412
00:19:01,857 --> 00:19:04,425
Diego or me?
413
00:19:04,493 --> 00:19:06,494
Would you like the truth
or the lie?
414
00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,263
[ scoffs ]
415
00:19:09,298 --> 00:19:10,932
You hungry?
I'm fucking famished.
416
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,835
I know a really good vegan
pizza parlor on 97th street.
417
00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:15,003
Nt to grab a slice?
418
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,804
You're vegan?
10 years.
419
00:19:16,872 --> 00:19:18,439
I haven't eaten meat
in 12 years.
420
00:19:18,507 --> 00:19:21,442
Well, that would make you
the winner, wouldn't it?
421
00:19:21,510 --> 00:19:23,478
Come on. It'll be fun.
422
00:19:23,545 --> 00:19:25,847
You can tell me
all about your new store.
423
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:28,483
Let me have one slice of that
one with the corn, please.
424
00:19:28,550 --> 00:19:29,918
And you'll have...
425
00:19:29,985 --> 00:19:32,153
Uh, I'll have that one
with the tofu on top.
426
00:19:35,724 --> 00:19:37,191
So, are you close
with your parents?
427
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:38,860
No.
428
00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,428
Are they still alive?
429
00:19:40,496 --> 00:19:42,463
I don't really want
to talk about them.
430
00:19:42,531 --> 00:19:45,967
Okay.
What's up with you and Diego?
431
00:19:46,035 --> 00:19:47,535
[ sighs ]
432
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,304
All right,
I know you're a cop,
433
00:19:49,371 --> 00:19:51,339
But you have to stop
interrogating me.
434
00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:53,808
Can't we just talk
about normal, boring things?
435
00:19:53,876 --> 00:19:56,477
Sure.
436
00:19:56,545 --> 00:19:58,379
Do you think fetishes
are weird?
437
00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,515
Like guys who steal
chicks' underwear?
438
00:20:00,582 --> 00:20:02,617
Yeah,
that could be one.
439
00:20:02,685 --> 00:20:04,452
Do you think jt's weird?
440
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,621
I don't judge anything as long
as it doesn't hurt anybody
441
00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:07,889
And no kids are involved.
442
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,390
Well, what about
the stealing part?
443
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,192
You're supposed to be
for upholding the law.
444
00:20:11,260 --> 00:20:12,527
[ chuckles ]
445
00:20:12,594 --> 00:20:14,228
I'm only concerned
with the big laws.
446
00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:17,365
The small laws are just sort of,
you know, suggestions.
447
00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:19,667
Uh-huh.
448
00:20:19,735 --> 00:20:23,004
Well, my "night night cat"
panties were my favorite.
449
00:20:23,072 --> 00:20:24,906
Did you have a pair
go missing?
450
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,607
If I checked right now...
451
00:20:26,675 --> 00:20:27,742
[ chuckles ]
452
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:29,377
What? On me?
453
00:20:29,445 --> 00:20:30,345
No, please.
454
00:20:30,412 --> 00:20:31,946
You'd find tighty-whities,
455
00:20:32,014 --> 00:20:34,615
Very high-end,
expensive tighty-whities.
456
00:20:34,683 --> 00:20:37,185
I'm very vanilla
in that department.
457
00:20:37,252 --> 00:20:39,287
I'm Mr., you know,
normal-normal.
458
00:20:41,423 --> 00:20:43,691
Well,
this has been grand.
459
00:20:43,759 --> 00:20:45,059
Wait, wait, wait.
460
00:20:45,127 --> 00:20:47,462
I need, uh... I need your advice
on something.
461
00:20:47,529 --> 00:20:49,430
It's very important.
462
00:20:52,468 --> 00:20:54,035
[ laughs ]
463
00:20:54,103 --> 00:20:55,103
Don't laugh.
It's... it's not funny.
464
00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:56,537
It's very traumatic.
465
00:20:56,605 --> 00:20:57,905
I've had perfect eyesight
my whole life.
466
00:20:57,973 --> 00:21:00,441
You have to take those off.
Oh, my God!
467
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,410
Yeah, thank you. Thank you
for confirming this. My God!
468
00:21:02,478 --> 00:21:04,312
No, I'm never wearing them
again. That's a good idea.
469
00:21:04,380 --> 00:21:06,714
Joyce: So, Jorge, this is
how it's going to work.
470
00:21:06,782 --> 00:21:10,284
I will begin by making
a small incision right here,
471
00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:11,953
Cutting the tendons
that bring the penis erect.
472
00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:15,723
Okay. Then we add
weights, stretching it.
473
00:21:15,791 --> 00:21:18,493
And this will give you an increase
in length of 1 or 2 inches,
474
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:19,861
But your erection
will point down.
475
00:21:19,928 --> 00:21:21,195
Oh, that's fine.
That's fine.
476
00:21:21,263 --> 00:21:22,764
I don't care
which way it points,
477
00:21:22,831 --> 00:21:24,932
As long as it gets hard and is
more than 2 inches, right?
478
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,969
Does this stay...
what about girth?
479
00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:29,771
That's where
we can really improve.
480
00:21:29,838 --> 00:21:32,774
Technically, we can go
as much as 900% bigger.
481
00:21:32,841 --> 00:21:34,375
Uh-huh.
482
00:21:34,443 --> 00:21:36,077
But to make it look
proportional for you,
483
00:21:36,145 --> 00:21:40,381
I would recommend...200%.
484
00:21:40,449 --> 00:21:42,650
You're the size
of a pencil right now.
485
00:21:42,718 --> 00:21:44,485
This would bring you
to a thick thumb,
486
00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:46,220
Which is
a tremendous improvement.
487
00:21:46,288 --> 00:21:47,388
No, no. Fuck that.
488
00:21:47,456 --> 00:21:48,723
I want
an elephant's hoof, okay?
489
00:21:48,791 --> 00:21:49,957
900%, please.
490
00:21:50,025 --> 00:21:51,292
But...
okay? No.
491
00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:54,429
As wide as regis philbin's
fake teeth are...
492
00:21:54,496 --> 00:21:57,065
That's how thick I want
my fake dick to be.
493
00:21:57,132 --> 00:21:58,666
Okay? Let's go.
494
00:21:59,501 --> 00:22:01,636
Más.
495
00:22:01,703 --> 00:22:03,704
Más.
496
00:22:03,772 --> 00:22:05,306
Más.
497
00:22:06,308 --> 00:22:07,675
Más.
498
00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:09,744
Más, más. Más.
499
00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:12,713
Más, más. Más.
500
00:22:12,781 --> 00:22:14,449
That's it.
501
00:22:14,516 --> 00:22:17,218
900% is as big
as we can go legally.
502
00:22:17,286 --> 00:22:18,886
Then that's what I want.
503
00:22:18,954 --> 00:22:20,655
[ indistinct conversations ]
504
00:22:25,561 --> 00:22:27,495
Roberto.
505
00:22:27,563 --> 00:22:28,663
Hey.
506
00:22:28,730 --> 00:22:30,631
Now, you can't
get mad at me.
507
00:22:30,699 --> 00:22:32,133
It was Amanda's idea.
508
00:22:32,201 --> 00:22:34,669
We know you hate
setups, but we... oh...
509
00:22:34,736 --> 00:22:36,237
We just want you to get back
to the Robert we once knew.
510
00:22:36,305 --> 00:22:38,306
This girl was singing
billy joel,
511
00:22:38,373 --> 00:22:41,175
"just the way you are,"
your favorite song of all time,
512
00:22:41,243 --> 00:22:43,411
Feet in the stirrups
during the exam, you know?
513
00:22:43,479 --> 00:22:45,480
I hate billy joel.
You sang it at our wedding.
514
00:22:45,547 --> 00:22:46,814
That's because
you forced me to.
515
00:22:46,882 --> 00:22:48,249
Will you just trust me?
516
00:22:48,317 --> 00:22:50,351
We will always miss
samantha,
517
00:22:50,419 --> 00:22:52,286
And I know she'll always live
deep inside our hearts,
518
00:22:52,354 --> 00:22:54,655
But, you know, you got to get
back in the game.
519
00:22:54,723 --> 00:22:55,690
It's been two years.
520
00:22:55,757 --> 00:22:57,358
She would want you to.
521
00:22:57,426 --> 00:22:59,527
Amanda: Robert, hey.
522
00:23:01,096 --> 00:23:03,331
This is our new friend,
naomi.
523
00:23:03,398 --> 00:23:04,632
Hello.
524
00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:06,634
Hi.
525
00:23:06,702 --> 00:23:09,837
So...I hear
we both love b.J.
526
00:23:09,905 --> 00:23:10,705
Oh!
527
00:23:10,772 --> 00:23:13,107
But, honey, we all...
528
00:23:13,175 --> 00:23:17,378
Let me rephrase. I hear we both
love singing billy joel.
529
00:23:17,446 --> 00:23:18,980
Oh.
[ chuckles ]
530
00:23:19,047 --> 00:23:20,948
Yeah...I-indeed.
531
00:23:22,351 --> 00:23:24,719
Have we met before?
You look familiar to me.
532
00:23:24,786 --> 00:23:26,387
I don't think so.
533
00:23:26,455 --> 00:23:28,523
I would have remembered.
534
00:23:29,925 --> 00:23:31,893
Would anybody like
to sit down?
535
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:35,663
I...Reserved a table
in my name, all right?
536
00:23:35,731 --> 00:23:37,632
Let's.
Let's, uh...
537
00:23:37,699 --> 00:23:38,533
Yeah.
Of course.
538
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:39,300
[ chuckles ]
539
00:23:46,441 --> 00:23:48,676
That's how I know you.
540
00:23:48,744 --> 00:23:50,244
You're the...
541
00:24:08,430 --> 00:24:11,032
[ sighs ]
542
00:24:11,099 --> 00:24:13,501
The suicide dummy.
543
00:24:18,173 --> 00:24:19,507
That's right.
544
00:24:19,575 --> 00:24:22,543
Take that big, fat cock
all the way down.
545
00:24:22,611 --> 00:24:25,012
Yeah, it's okay.
It's okay.
546
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:26,247
It's too big.
547
00:24:26,315 --> 00:24:28,382
If we go real slow,
baby, it's okay.
548
00:24:28,450 --> 00:24:29,784
Don't worry.
Uh...
549
00:24:29,851 --> 00:24:31,452
There we go.
550
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:32,453
Say ahh.
Ahh.
551
00:24:32,521 --> 00:24:33,454
Ahh.
Ahh.
552
00:24:33,522 --> 00:24:35,056
That's it.
That's it.
553
00:24:35,123 --> 00:24:36,057
It's really wide.
554
00:24:36,124 --> 00:24:37,925
Oh! Oh, yeah!
555
00:24:37,993 --> 00:24:38,526
Whoo!
556
00:24:38,594 --> 00:24:39,360
Ugh!
Ugh.
557
00:24:43,365 --> 00:24:45,266
She got lockjaw
or something.
558
00:24:45,334 --> 00:24:47,435
[ muffled ]
I told you it was too big.
559
00:24:47,502 --> 00:24:48,970
Uh, what did she say?
560
00:24:49,037 --> 00:24:51,372
She said,
"I told you it was too big."
561
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:54,208
Kind of like how only moms
can understand their infants.
562
00:24:54,276 --> 00:24:55,710
You know, that is
not the metaphor
563
00:24:55,777 --> 00:24:57,211
That I would draw
into this circumstance,
564
00:24:57,279 --> 00:24:58,779
But, yeah,
something like that.
565
00:24:58,847 --> 00:25:00,781
[ intro to kelly's
"my romantic pattern" plays ]
566
00:25:00,849 --> 00:25:02,883
Why don't we just wait
567
00:25:02,951 --> 00:25:06,721
Until, um,
he loses his erection?
568
00:25:06,788 --> 00:25:08,556
Lady, I took
enough viagra here
569
00:25:08,624 --> 00:25:10,391
To fuck
for three weeks, okay?
570
00:25:10,459 --> 00:25:13,227
I need you to go and get
the jaws of life up in here
571
00:25:13,295 --> 00:25:14,962
And get her jaws
off my life.
572
00:25:15,030 --> 00:25:16,163
This really sucks,
you know.
573
00:25:16,231 --> 00:25:17,098
Hey, you gave me
the fucking dick,
574
00:25:17,165 --> 00:25:18,299
So I don't want to hear it.
575
00:25:18,367 --> 00:25:19,967
There's no way
it's going away.
576
00:25:20,035 --> 00:25:21,636
I'm not even talking
to you right now.
577
00:25:21,703 --> 00:25:23,204
Asshole.
578
00:25:47,896 --> 00:25:50,264
♪ This is my romantic pattern. ♪
579
00:25:50,332 --> 00:25:55,036
♪ Want to fix the relationship
with my dad that I never had, ♪
580
00:25:55,103 --> 00:25:58,372
♪ but I'm the one who's broken. ♪
581
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:00,608
♪ Broken like a record. ♪
582
00:26:00,676 --> 00:26:03,277
♪ And I skip and do it again
with a new boyfriend ♪
583
00:26:03,345 --> 00:26:06,814
♪ on spin cycle,
I'm a ring around Saturn ♪
584
00:26:06,882 --> 00:26:10,484
♪ pieces of myself
gravitationally compelled ♪
585
00:26:10,552 --> 00:26:11,552
♪ to do it again. ♪
586
00:26:11,620 --> 00:26:13,487
♪ I will make him change, ♪
587
00:26:13,555 --> 00:26:15,489
♪ he will change for me. ♪
588
00:26:15,557 --> 00:26:17,525
♪ I will make him change, ♪
589
00:26:17,592 --> 00:26:19,760
♪ he will love me... ♪
590
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:59,000
Sync by fant0m
www.addic7ed.com
591
00:26:59,050 --> 00:27:03,600
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
40893
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