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1
00:00:04,087 --> 00:00:08,675
(siren wailing )
2
00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:11,386
( panting )
3
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:14,139
Halt!
4
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:15,682
I've got to hand it
to this perp.
5
00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:18,101
No one's broken out
of the Infinetentiary before.
6
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:21,480
He's either the bravest time-convict
I've ever seen or the dumbest.
7
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,483
Ow! Ohh!
8
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:25,692
My time-knee!
9
00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:27,694
Oh, time-dang it!
10
00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,780
Definitely the dumbest.
Freeze!
11
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:34,159
You're surrounded by the Time Paradox
Avoidance Enforcement Squadron.
12
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:38,580
Anything you say can and already has
been used against you in future court.
13
00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:40,916
This is it, Blendin.
End of the timeline.
14
00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:42,876
Any last words?
15
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,712
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh...
I-I-I-I...
16
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:49,383
I invoke Globnar!
17
00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:51,677
Globnar!!!
( murmuring )
18
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:55,138
Very well, speak the name
and century of those accused.
19
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:57,057
The two kids
that ruined my life,
20
00:00:57,266 --> 00:01:00,477
Dipper and Mabel Pines,
21st century.
21
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,609
So be it.
22
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:12,573
May Time Baby
have mercy on their souls.
23
00:01:56,992 --> 00:01:58,535
Candy!Candy!
Candy!Candy.
24
00:01:58,744 --> 00:01:59,661
Candy--
Candy--
25
00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:01,538
No!
It's trapped!
26
00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:03,665
Everything
is terrible forever!
27
00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:04,833
Psst.
Hey, dudes.
28
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:05,876
You want to know a trick?
29
00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:07,669
Boppity-boop-womp!
30
00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:09,212
A genius
taught me that once.
31
00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:13,675
This just in. Weather stations are
calling for a candy blizzard!
32
00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:14,718
Forget taking
off the wrappers.
33
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:17,804
I'm eating these now!
34
00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:20,641
Soos, you are
the greatest human ever to live.
35
00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:21,850
( Coughing )
36
00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:23,852
That was a mistake!
37
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,312
Hey, no sweat, dude.
38
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:26,688
I'd do anything
for the Pines family.
39
00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:28,023
STAN: Soos!
40
00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:30,817
I need to scratch myself
in two places at once.
41
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,235
And 1 mean anything.
42
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:33,945
Coming, Mr. Pines!
43
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:37,658
Whoa, better make sure
he gets his wallet back.
44
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:40,911
Wait, I've never seen
Soos's wallet before.
45
00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:43,705
Don't you want to learn
some Soos secrets?
46
00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:45,832
I don't know if we should be--
Whoa!
47
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,001
Soos has a membership
to laser tag?
48
00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:49,878
I didn't know they let
grown-ups in there.
49
00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:52,714
And look,
emergency salami.
50
00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:55,300
Soos, my respect
for you has grown.
51
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,095
Jesus Esperaminguo Ramirez,
52
00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:00,639
organ donor,
birthday: July 13th.
53
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:01,807
Wait a minute.
54
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:02,808
That's today.
55
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:03,684
Whoa.
56
00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:04,810
That's weird.
57
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:05,977
I wonder
why he didn't tell anyone.
58
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,312
Uh, duh.
59
00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:08,730
It's probably because
he wants someone
60
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,607
to throw him
a surprise party.
61
00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:11,983
I can relate.
62
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,111
I've been waiting for
a surprise party my whole life.
63
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:15,862
Surprise!
64
00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:18,907
Too little, too late, Chiu.
65
00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:20,242
Ohh.
66
00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:24,579
More exclamation points!
67
00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:26,289
More, I say!
68
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:28,291
Wow, you guys
thought of everything.
69
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,919
Grenda, twins are born
birthday experts.
70
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,129
We've shared
every birthday together
71
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:33,797
so we know
how to make them perfect.
72
00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:36,591
( Noisemakers toot )
73
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:37,718
Hey, places, everyone.
74
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:38,760
I hear footsteps.
75
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:41,179
GRENDA: Everyone, be quiet!
76
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,306
All right, you promised
a giant hummingbird,
77
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,559
so I'm expecting to see
a giant hummingbird.
78
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:48,228
CANDY: Three, two, one...
79
00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:49,813
Huh?
80
00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:51,231
ALL: Surprise!
81
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,525
Happy birthday,
you king on earth.
82
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:54,901
We got everything you love.
83
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,403
Cake-flavored pizza.
84
00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:57,738
Pizza-flavored cake.
85
00:03:57,946 --> 00:03:59,030
And one more treat.
86
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:02,617
Razzle dazzle, friends.
87
00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:05,454
It's me, the Razz Dazzler.
88
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,831
This is what
my life has become.
89
00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:10,083
I...I...
90
00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:11,835
Quick,
everyone pose
91
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,712
for the Birthday Smiles
Memory Album.
92
00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:16,631
Razzly-dazzly-doo
93
00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:20,802
Soos, what's wrong?
94
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:22,637
It's, uh, it's nothing.
95
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:23,805
I, uh...
96
00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:25,932
I gotta go fix a pipe
or something.
97
00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:29,644
Whoa,
did you guys see Soos?
98
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:31,396
What happened to--
Oh, no.
99
00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:32,814
Oh, no, no, no.
100
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:35,442
Okay, you guys didn't know,
so it's not your fault,
101
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:37,277
but Soos hates
his birthday.
102
00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:39,488
BOTH: What?
It's a total mystery.
103
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:41,364
I guess he's been like this
since he was a kid.
104
00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:43,366
Some weird personal biz.
105
00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,619
There's gotta be
something we can do.
106
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:47,204
We've tried everything.
107
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:48,580
I even petitioned
the government
108
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,207
to have this day removed
from calendars.
109
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:52,000
Now I'm not allowed
on airplanes.
110
00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:57,047
( Sighs )
111
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:58,381
I don't know, guys,
112
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,300
maybe we should just
leave him alone, you know?
113
00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:02,093
No one should be alone
on their birthday.
114
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,720
There's got to be a way
to cheer him up.
115
00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:05,055
We just need to try harder.
116
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,598
You're right,
Dipper!
117
00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:09,434
It's time for us
to bring out the big guns.
118
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,687
All right, guys,
119
00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:14,147
blindfold me once,
shame on you,
120
00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:15,941
blindfold me twice--
Wait a minute.
121
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,526
( Sniffs )
Hot dog smell?
122
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,903
Sticky floors?
Future sounds?
123
00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:23,073
Laser tag?
124
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,574
I love laser tag.
125
00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:25,867
How did you guys know?
126
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:28,495
We definitely didn't rifle
through your wallet.
127
00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:30,664
( Nervous chuckle )
128
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,499
Welcome to the year 8,000.
129
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:34,543
Society?
Collapsed.
130
00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:36,753
Fog machines?
Everywhere.
131
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,589
Are these walls just mattresses
spray-painted purple?
132
00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:41,508
I think this place
used to be a mattress store.
133
00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:42,634
I don't know, guys,
134
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,302
I'm not sure
I'm up for this today.
135
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:45,387
Don't worry, Soos.
136
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:46,721
As soon as you start
playing with us,
137
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,098
you're gonna have
a great time.
138
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:49,724
We promise,
no matter what happens
139
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,142
we won't leave your side.
140
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,770
Well, I guess,
I could give it a shot.
141
00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:55,105
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Prepare for laser battle
142
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:56,565
in three, two...
143
00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:57,732
( klaxon blares )
144
00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,234
( all cheering )
145
00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:00,861
Uh-oh.
146
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,864
Better tie down
these cowboys.
147
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:10,078
Whoa! This is even cooler
than I imagined.
148
00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:12,998
Look how real
these laser guys are.
149
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,165
(grunts)
150
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,709
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Kick deflected.
151
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:18,003
Thank you for buying digicod,
the smart codpiece.
152
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,254
Wait, what?
153
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:20,964
( Gasps )
Oh, no.
154
00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:22,966
Soos!
155
00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:25,427
Mabel? Dipper?
Dudes?
156
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:26,803
Soos!
157
00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:29,806
Nice try, but that's
solid timetanium, kid.
158
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:32,183
There's only one way
out of here.
159
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:33,935
MAN: Through me!
160
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,856
Oh, uh, sorry.
161
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,608
Come on.
162
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:41,526
Through me!
163
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:42,777
And that's what
it would have been like
164
00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:45,739
if I'd just gotten it right
the very first chance,
165
00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:47,073
but it still is effective.
166
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,366
( Both gasp )
167
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:52,370
The time traveler guy!
168
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,831
What did you say
your name was again?
169
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:55,749
Blendo?
170
00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,042
Blondin?
171
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,043
BlarBlar.
172
00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,169
There it is.
173
00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:00,211
It's Blendin!
174
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,339
Blendin Blenjamin Blendin.
175
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:05,133
How could you not know my name
after you ruined my life?!
176
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:07,928
Initiate flashback!
177
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:10,221
It was after you
stole my time device
178
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,932
to win your stupid pig.
179
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,809
I was cast out of
the time anomaly removal crew--
180
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,478
my whole life's purpose.
181
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:17,812
And then I was given
182
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:20,398
ten squared life sentences
in time prison.
183
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:23,443
I've spent every day since then
planning my vengeance.
184
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:29,324
And now finally,
it has come!
185
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:30,700
Look, we're sorry
about all that,
186
00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:31,910
but we're in the middle
of something
187
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,286
really important
right now.
188
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:34,746
It's our friend's
birthday today,
189
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,623
and we promised
we wouldn't leave his side.
190
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:39,834
What?! You think some dumb
birthday matters right now?
191
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,294
Do you know where you are?
192
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:44,464
Welcome to Globnar!
193
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,141
MABEL:
Is this a reality show?
194
00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:57,018
Are we in Japan?
195
00:07:57,227 --> 00:08:00,814
BLENDIN:
It's gladiatorial time combat!
196
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:02,065
(grunts)
197
00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:07,278
BLENDIN: The winner gets
a precious time wish
198
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,698
and then decides
the laser's fate.
199
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,449
N-n-no!
Please!
200
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,452
( Screaming )
201
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:18,707
And the two of you
are officially challenged.
202
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:19,833
Dundgren!
203
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,418
Get me my war paint.
204
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:22,836
Dipper, we need a way
out of here.
205
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:23,837
But how?
206
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:27,799
I have an idea.
207
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,884
Hang in there, Soos,
we're coming for you.
208
00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:31,928
Dipper?
Mabel?
209
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:33,013
Requesting back-up.
210
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,139
Ah! Ah!
211
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,724
Oh! Ah!
Oh, no.
212
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:37,684
( Chuckles )
Laser Robbie.
213
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:39,811
Dudes?
214
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,229
( Bell rings )
215
00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:42,731
( Mabel clearing throat )
216
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:44,315
Oh, my stars.
217
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:46,735
Could it be my little, um...
218
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,611
Lolphy!
219
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,196
It's me.
220
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:56,703
Your great-great-great-great-
great-great-great grandmother
221
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,872
from the past times.
222
00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:01,499
Gam-Gam?
223
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:03,960
Yeah, neon green is good.
224
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,295
This is a good color for me.
225
00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:06,296
It's fierce--
Huh?
226
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:07,422
What?
No!
227
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:08,673
You can't let them escape!
228
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,050
Stop there!
229
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,801
Gam-Gam, how could you?
230
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:14,429
I ain't no one's Gam-Gam,
sucka!
231
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:16,264
You just got time tricked!
232
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,767
No!
No!
233
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,769
Hurry!
Back to Soos' birthday.
234
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,313
Okay.
I think I've got it.
235
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:28,777
( Screaming )
236
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,695
Uhh. Are we back?
237
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,823
Oh, no! Look!
238
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,825
Mable, the Laser place
is a mattress store.
239
00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,494
We went too far
in the past.
240
00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:38,703
Time travel.
241
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,664
Man, why you gotta be
so complicated?
242
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:43,583
Huh?!
243
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,503
Looks like they overshot
their destination by 10 years.
244
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,963
I don't see them.
You better find those kids!
245
00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:50,757
You'll get your justice,
Blendin.
246
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:53,176
I'm gonna keep stammering
until you find them.
247
00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:56,763
I-I-I-I...
248
00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,890
I hate that guy.
Let's move.
249
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,978
Yeah!
Yeah!
250
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:06,106
Okay, we just got
to go forward 10 years.
251
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:08,983
We can be back before Soos
even realizes we were gone.
252
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,277
Oh, no!
The timey thing.
253
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:12,487
It's busted.
254
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:13,822
Can you fix it?
255
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,782
Maybe.
I'll need some tools.
256
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:19,494
And I think I know
where to get some.
257
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:22,664
Let's try to lay low.
258
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:24,207
We don't want to change
the future.
259
00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:26,000
Or cause the future.
260
00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:27,627
I forget how this works
exactly.
261
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:29,671
Wow, 10 years in the past.
262
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:32,715
Everything is samey
but also differenty.
263
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:34,968
Doppity-doppity-doo
264
00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:36,094
Yeah!
265
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:40,390
Look out Broadway,
here I come.
266
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:43,017
This dream goes nowhere,
Toby!
267
00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:45,353
Aww, marbles.
268
00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:48,481
Whoa.
Oops. Sorry.
269
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:49,566
( Whispering )
270
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:50,650
My friend thinks you're cute.
271
00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:52,819
Oh, my gosh.
Tambry, shut up.
272
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:53,987
Ow! Hey!
273
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:55,572
( Chuckles )
Thank you.
274
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,825
I mean you're super young,
so this is weird.
275
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:00,869
Now you know
how she feels, creep.
276
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:03,037
( Chuckles )
Yeah, I... Huh.
277
00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:04,497
Wow.
278
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:06,332
Wow.
279
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:09,043
STAN: Schlep right up,
ladies and gentlemen,
280
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:10,503
to see my latest attraction.
281
00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:11,838
All right, the coast is clear.
282
00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:14,215
Now is our chance.
283
00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:21,097
Ha!
Bingo!
284
00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:22,682
All right, let's see.
285
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,058
BOY: Aw, come on, candy.
286
00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:26,269
Fall. Fall.
287
00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:27,645
Allow me.
288
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,689
You just need to know
a guy on the inside.
289
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,941
Bippity-boop-womp!
290
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:32,942
Jackpot!
291
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,903
( Gasps )
292
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,070
Thanks, dawg.
293
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:38,573
You must be
some kind of genius
294
00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:40,742
All right, I think
I've got this thing working
295
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,660
Dipper, Dipper, look.
296
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,579
No way.
297
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:48,958
Mi precioso,
you keep wandering off.
298
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:50,793
You don't want to be
late for your big day.
299
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,921
Sorry, Abuelita.
300
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,088
Big day?
301
00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:55,506
This could be
the birthday
302
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,467
where that personal biz
went down.
303
00:11:57,675 --> 00:12:00,345
We could finally find out
why Soos hates his birthday.
304
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,472
All right,
but let's be quick.
305
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,724
KID: I want a piece
of birthday cake!
306
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:06,935
( Kids giggling )
307
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:09,437
Who's a handsome birthday boy?
308
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,189
(Sing-song) It's you!
309
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,733
( Giggles ) Soos, you are
such a ladies' man.
310
00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:15,818
They're my cousins,
Grandma. Gross.
311
00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:17,737
I got you a race car cake.
312
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,781
Man, I don't know
why Soos hates his birthdays.
313
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:20,907
This looks great.
314
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:24,661
Sorry, dude,
but could you move seats?
315
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:25,662
That's the seat of honor.
316
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,330
Uh, who's it for?
317
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:30,124
Oh. Heh.
It's for my dad, actually.
318
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:33,378
I haven't seen him in, like,
8 years, but he's coming today.
319
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,588
( Door bell rings )
That must be him!
320
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:45,807
(inhales, exhales)
All right, Soos, today's the big day.
321
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:47,934
Be cool.
Be cool.
322
00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:52,063
Postcard for...
323
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,148
Soos.
324
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,360
( Soos reading aloud )
325
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:01,322
"See you next year for sure.
326
00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:03,116
Dad."
327
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,243
Hey, don't sweat it, cuz.
328
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:06,494
You'll see him next year.
329
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:09,956
Ha. Yeah, next year.
330
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:14,836
I'm gonna go lay down.
331
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,296
You party without me,
dudes.
332
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:17,630
Wait, what about
your presents?
333
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:18,840
TOY: Yay-uh.
334
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:24,429
So that's why
Soos hates his birthday.
335
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:27,056
It's the day he realized
his dad wasn't coming back.
336
00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:30,143
So how much partying
can fix that?
337
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:31,436
( Giggles )
Dorks.
338
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:32,729
Young Robbie.
339
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:38,276
Ay, Soos' father
is a dead-beat.
340
00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:39,360
( Speaking Spanish )
341
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:43,448
( clears throat )
342
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:47,869
Soos, I made you cookies
shaped like dinosaurs.
343
00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:48,870
I don't want cookies.
344
00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:50,121
I want to see Dad again.
345
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,539
And he wants to see you.
346
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,624
He's just...busy.
347
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:54,751
Busy in New Orleans?
348
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:56,544
Ay. Yes.
349
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:59,756
Trust me,
you will feel better one day.
350
00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:03,718
Ohh, this is awful.
351
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:05,428
We promised Soos
a happy birthday,
352
00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:07,221
but how can we
give him that now?
353
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,432
This goes beyond anything
we know how to fix.
354
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:11,642
BLENDIN: This way!
Mabel, hide!
355
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,356
They've got to be
around here somewhere.
356
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:17,815
I think I heard them!
357
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:20,568
( Bird chirping )
Freeze!
358
00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,111
( crying )
359
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,197
Trace their chrono-signatures.
360
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:27,575
Man, the sooner I defeat
those kids in Globnar,
361
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,619
the sooner
I can win my time wish.
362
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,621
Tell you what I'd do
if I had a time wish.
363
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,956
Retire early,
spend more time with the kids.
364
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:36,084
Nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah
with the kids?!
365
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:38,836
Don't you know a time wish
can literally do anything?
366
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:41,798
Any impossible problem solved,
just like that.
367
00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:43,424
I mean,
imagine the possibilities.
368
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:45,635
Wait, Mabel, that's it,
the time wish.
369
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:47,512
If we defeat Blendin
in that space battle--
370
00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:48,679
Then we can wish
371
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,890
that Soos' dad
came to his 12th birthday.
372
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:52,683
And Soos' birthdays
would be fixed forever--
373
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:53,935
all of them!
374
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:56,521
But do you really think
we can win Globnar?
375
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,231
It's the only chance we have.
376
00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:00,691
Besides, it's for Soos.
377
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,361
He would do the same for us.
378
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:08,032
Here we are, Blendin.
We surrender.
379
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:09,826
It's them!
Freeze!
380
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,035
Careful,
they're from the past.
381
00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:13,287
They might have powder muskets
or slap bracelets.
382
00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:14,914
Look, guys,
no tricks this time.
383
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,624
We're ready to challenge you,
okay?
384
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:19,001
Yes!
Let the Globnar begin.
385
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:22,588
Prepare for Globnar!!!
386
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,715
( Silence )
387
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:26,259
Hey, turns out
I can mute him.
388
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:27,969
Man, I wish
we'd known that earlier.
389
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,971
Initializing.
390
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,892
( Crowd cheering )
391
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:41,524
Globnar! Globnar!
Globnar! Globnar!
392
00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:52,827
Silence!
393
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:54,412
Whoo!
Oh, yeah!
394
00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:58,374
That is one big baby.
395
00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,251
Welcome, Globnar tributes.
396
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,253
I have
a very important nap to get to,
397
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,796
so let's make this quick.
398
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,132
You each have a chance
to settle your time-feud
399
00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:08,551
through gladiatorial combat.
400
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,553
ROBOT: You will have
until time baby finishes
401
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,139
drinking the cosmic sand
in this hourglass.
402
00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:14,474
No!
403
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,725
Come on.
It's good for you.
404
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:16,934
Waah!
405
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,478
Get ready, kids.
406
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,688
When I get that time wish,
you'll wish you were never born.
407
00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:22,773
Or rather,
you'll wish you were born,
408
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,650
because I'm gonna wish
you were never born!
409
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:26,486
Dream on!
There's two of us.
410
00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:28,154
And we have hair!
411
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:29,322
Oh--oh, yeah?
412
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,491
Well, I have training!
413
00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:35,495
What do you think I did
in prison all that time?
414
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:36,496
Uh-oh.
415
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:39,248
Let the Globnar begin!
416
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:40,917
( Crowd cheers )
417
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,251
( buzzer )
418
00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:47,590
( roars )
419
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:49,884
(grunting )
420
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:04,565
Yeah!
421
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,239
( Roaring )
422
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:18,746
Globnar!
423
00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:22,166
Very good.
424
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,460
You have escaped
the Cyclocks.
425
00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:27,129
Yes!
Blendin for the almost-win!
426
00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:31,676
There is only one
final challenge for Globnar.
427
00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:34,804
An ancient game,
thousands of years old,
428
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:38,349
chosen for its exemplification
of pure strategy.
429
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:41,978
The ancient art of laser tag!
430
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:47,733
The one who touches
the victory orb first will win.
431
00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:50,778
Laser tag?
Seriously?
432
00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:53,030
Oh, I know it doesn't seem
that challenging now,
433
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,616
but just wait until they
turn on that fog machine.
434
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:56,826
You'll be done for.
435
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:57,994
You just wait until you--
436
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,036
MACHINE: Hit.
437
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,122
Hit, hit, hit, hit.
438
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:02,206
Oh, man.
439
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,624
Mabel, grab the orb!
440
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:04,875
Got it.
441
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:09,922
It is finished!
442
00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:13,301
( Burps )
443
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:14,802
( cheering )
444
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,471
( buzzer )
No!
445
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,515
- No! No!
- Yes! Yes!
446
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:22,310
You have made victory
in Globnar.
447
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:24,228
Before I give you
your time wish,
448
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:28,024
tell us what fate
do you decide for the loser?
449
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,692
Oh, jeez.
450
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,694
Death!
451
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:33,154
Mabel.
Sorry.
452
00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:34,697
Got carried away.
453
00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:38,200
So Blendin did try
to wish us out of existence,
454
00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:40,661
but it was kind of our fault
for ruining his life.
455
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:44,206
Yeah, and he's kind of too sad
to be a real bad guy.
456
00:18:44,415 --> 00:18:46,208
Maybe if we treat him right
in the present,
457
00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:48,002
he'll turn out better
in the future.
458
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,254
Okay, as long as you keep
an eye on him,
459
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:53,341
we'd like to set Blendin free
and restore his position
460
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:55,051
at the Time Anomaly
Correction Unit.
461
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:57,219
And give him pretty hair.
462
00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:58,763
So be it.
463
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:02,892
What?
You'd do that for me?
464
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,685
I got my job back!
465
00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:06,395
I feel like hugging somebody.
466
00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,898
- I can kill you in eight different ways.
- Yes, sir.
467
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:14,028
Now, children, what is it that
you want for your time wish?
468
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:17,615
Thank you,
but the wish isn't for us.
469
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:18,949
Not you?
470
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,826
But then who?
471
00:19:21,035 --> 00:19:24,121
Who is worthy
to receive such power?
472
00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:26,957
Dipper?
Mabel?
473
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,417
Ah, who am I kidding?
474
00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:29,877
I'm not up for this.
475
00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:32,546
Heads, I stay.
476
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:35,091
Tails, I go make myself
some dinosaur shaped cookies.
477
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:38,928
( laughter slows down )
478
00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,809
Huh. That's unconventional.
479
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,522
BOTH: Soos!
Guys!
480
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:51,691
We're so sorry
we left you hanging, dude.
481
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:53,901
We got caught up
in this time travel junk.
482
00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:55,611
And there was a time Cyclops.
483
00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:56,612
And don't forget
about the
484
00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:57,738
time race.
Time race.
485
00:19:57,947 --> 00:19:59,615
But the point is, Soos,
486
00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:01,701
we think we know
how to fix your birthday.
487
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,202
Whoa. Really?
488
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:06,414
Wait, you guys did
all of that for me?
489
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:07,748
And that's not all.
490
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:10,376
Behold your time wish,
491
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:14,797
the power to alter time,
paradox-free, in any way you choose.
492
00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:17,341
We think the only thing that can
make you happy is meeting your dad.
493
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,009
But the choice is yours.
494
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,679
You mean, I can finally see
my dad by touching this thing?
495
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,723
And you guys battled
through time and space
496
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,266
just to get this for me?
497
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:29,687
What are you waiting for,
Soos?
498
00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:32,940
All right.
Here goes nothing.
499
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:37,945
( Gasps )
500
00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:38,946
Wait, what?
What the...
501
00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:40,281
Bam!
Fixed you up.
502
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:41,449
Enjoy, dudes.
503
00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:43,576
But, Soos, what about
meeting your dad?
504
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,828
Well, birthdays
are supposed to be spent
505
00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:47,288
with the people
who care about you.
506
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:48,831
But you know what?
507
00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:50,791
That dude didn't care about me
enough to visit me once,
508
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,753
let alone fight monsters through
time and space like you dudes.
509
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:56,547
I mean, you had a gladiator fight
just to make me happy.
510
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,591
I've been being ridiculous
this whole time.
511
00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:00,634
Whoever my dad was,
he could take a hike.
512
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:03,888
I know who my family is now,
and it's you dudes.
513
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,390
Thanks for giving me
the best birthday ever.
514
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,184
Are you kidding me?!
515
00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:10,394
Do you have any idea
what you've just wasted?
516
00:21:10,561 --> 00:21:12,646
Do you know how many
have died to get a time wish?
517
00:21:12,855 --> 00:21:14,774
The wars
that were started?
518
00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:15,775
Oh, that's not all,
dudes.
519
00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:17,610
I also wished for
the slice of infinite pizza.
520
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:18,819
Watch.
521
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:22,698
And it can do that for,
like, infinity.
522
00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:24,033
( Indistinct )
523
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,701
Phew!
That's a good time wish.
524
00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:27,703
There's still 10 minutes
before laser tag closes.
525
00:21:27,912 --> 00:21:28,704
You dudes want to play?
526
00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:29,872
Yeah.
527
00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:31,290
(giggling )
528
00:21:31,499 --> 00:21:33,584
DIPPER & MABEL:
Happy birthday, Soos.
529
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:35,836
Whoa.
Thought I heard an explosion.
530
00:21:36,003 --> 00:21:36,796
Whoa, what's this?
531
00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:40,049
Mystery Shack?
532
00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:41,258
That is it!
533
00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:42,676
You are single-handedly
534
00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:45,596
the worst handyman
I've ever seen.
535
00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:47,223
Uh, hey, excuse me, sir.
536
00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:49,975
Hey you, gumdrop,
think you can fix a golf cart?
537
00:21:50,184 --> 00:21:51,685
Well, I don't know if I--
538
00:21:51,894 --> 00:21:52,770
Boom, you're hired.
539
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:54,814
One size fits all.
540
00:21:55,022 --> 00:21:56,607
Step right up
to the Mystery Shack, folks.
541
00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:57,775
Step right LIP-
542
00:21:57,825 --> 00:22:02,375
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