All language subtitles for Gavin and Stacey s01e05

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,915 --> 00:00:02,645 So how many of you are goin'? 2 00:00:02,745 --> 00:00:05,764 I dunno... nine? Ten? Smithy's organising it, isn't he? 3 00:00:06,416 --> 00:00:08,805 I'm so worried... What if you meet someone else? 4 00:00:08,905 --> 00:00:11,668 How? Who? Anyway, what about you... 5 00:00:11,896 --> 00:00:14,276 You're all going out in Cardiff dressed as schoolgirls! 6 00:00:14,376 --> 00:00:15,345 I know... 7 00:00:16,195 --> 00:00:18,515 Well, just tell me you're not gonna have sex with a lapdancer. 8 00:00:18,615 --> 00:00:19,915 - What?! - Just say... 9 00:00:20,015 --> 00:00:21,834 'I'm not gonna have sex with a lapdancer.' 10 00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,914 - I won't! I promise. - Say it! 11 00:00:24,014 --> 00:00:26,053 I'm not gonna have sex with a lapdancer. 12 00:00:26,923 --> 00:00:27,893 Hi, Carol. 13 00:00:28,402 --> 00:00:29,643 - Who's Carol? - Look... 14 00:00:29,743 --> 00:00:31,071 Would you feel better if I took my phone? 15 00:00:31,171 --> 00:00:32,749 I thought Smithy said no phones? 16 00:00:32,850 --> 00:00:35,655 - I know but if it'll make you feel better. - Oh, thanks, babe. 17 00:00:35,886 --> 00:00:38,325 No worries. And if it goes to voicemail, 18 00:00:38,566 --> 00:00:40,983 it's probably cos I'm having sex with a lapdancer. 19 00:00:46,496 --> 00:00:49,816 # Won a few more moments who can tell # 20 00:00:50,155 --> 00:00:53,900 # But it took time to understand the man # 21 00:00:54,369 --> 00:00:59,417 # Now at least I know, I know him well # 22 00:00:59,735 --> 00:01:02,404 # - Wasn't it good? - So good # 23 00:01:02,504 --> 00:01:05,350 # - Wasn't he fine? - Oh, so fine # 24 00:01:05,450 --> 00:01:10,698 # - Isn't it madness? - He can't be mine? # 25 00:01:10,799 --> 00:01:12,016 I tell you what. 26 00:01:12,265 --> 00:01:15,065 I still can't get over last night. You were phenomenal. 27 00:01:15,165 --> 00:01:17,421 Really? I was worried it might've been too much for ya. 28 00:01:17,521 --> 00:01:19,424 - Oh, God, no. - Well... 29 00:01:20,276 --> 00:01:22,335 you just play your cards right, sweet cheeks, 30 00:01:22,435 --> 00:01:24,224 you never know what might happen tonight. 31 00:01:24,324 --> 00:01:25,912 Go on say it, now, quickly! 32 00:01:26,013 --> 00:01:26,952 - No! - Go on! 33 00:01:27,052 --> 00:01:29,819 - No! - Please, just whisper it! 34 00:01:30,940 --> 00:01:32,469 It's always been you... 35 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:34,209 Camilla. 36 00:01:35,063 --> 00:01:37,174 Mum, you seen my wax? What you doing? 37 00:01:37,274 --> 00:01:38,643 - Nothing! - What's with the food? 38 00:01:38,743 --> 00:01:40,681 - We ain't sticking round. - Gavin. 39 00:01:40,780 --> 00:01:42,369 You've got to line your stomachs. 40 00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:44,288 - Toga party, is it? - What? 41 00:01:44,788 --> 00:01:45,568 Nah... 42 00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:48,757 Smithy'll be here in a minute, keep him downstairs, will ya? 43 00:01:48,856 --> 00:01:51,090 Our little boy having his stag night, eh? 44 00:01:51,191 --> 00:01:52,440 Oh, I know. 45 00:01:53,030 --> 00:01:54,799 Oh, don't get me started. 46 00:01:55,142 --> 00:01:56,412 Why aren't you going? 47 00:01:56,733 --> 00:01:58,383 - It's not too late. - Nah. 48 00:01:58,483 --> 00:02:00,989 I've had it with stags. I've only just got over Chinese Alan's. 49 00:02:01,089 --> 00:02:02,841 Hey, he's getting married again. 50 00:02:02,942 --> 00:02:04,441 To that one that was in EastEnders. 51 00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,891 I know! Gita. So is he going tonight? 52 00:02:07,215 --> 00:02:08,974 Chinese Alan? Oh, yeah... 53 00:02:09,075 --> 00:02:10,823 There's him, Budgie, Luggy, 54 00:02:10,924 --> 00:02:13,354 Gary'n'Simon, Dirtbox, Fingers, 55 00:02:14,014 --> 00:02:15,753 Smithy, Swede and Jesus. 56 00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:19,532 - So is Andy not going? - Oh, no, don't think so. 57 00:02:20,780 --> 00:02:21,804 Hiya boys! 58 00:02:22,831 --> 00:02:25,850 - Dirtbox! You're looking well. - Not looking too bad yourself! 59 00:02:25,951 --> 00:02:29,287 - Hello, Pam, how ya doin'? You all right? - Hiya, Dirtbox! 60 00:02:29,387 --> 00:02:31,988 There's plenty of beers so help yourselves, 61 00:02:32,592 --> 00:02:36,803 but please make sure you have at least two sandwiches. 62 00:02:36,903 --> 00:02:39,346 Come here, you little minx. Give me a hug! 63 00:02:39,446 --> 00:02:40,921 Get of me, you big brute! 64 00:02:41,021 --> 00:02:43,445 Jesus, look at them. Cracking vol au vents, Pam. 65 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,382 All right, boys? 66 00:02:50,523 --> 00:02:52,271 Get that on and get that drunk. 67 00:02:57,170 --> 00:03:01,069 - There's a cab pulling up! - That'll be Chinese Alan. Chinese! 68 00:03:01,169 --> 00:03:03,564 - Chinese! - Chinese! 69 00:03:03,910 --> 00:03:06,292 - Someone order a Chinese? - Yeah! 70 00:03:11,939 --> 00:03:13,783 Cos I couldn't get no appointment, could I? 71 00:03:13,883 --> 00:03:16,953 - Said it was for emergencies only. - Well, when you gonna go then? 72 00:03:17,702 --> 00:03:19,585 Seeing him Tuesday, aren't I? 73 00:03:20,048 --> 00:03:22,237 Why don't we just buy a tester kit? Get it over with. 74 00:03:22,337 --> 00:03:24,467 - They're 15 quid! - Really? 75 00:03:25,023 --> 00:03:27,962 Well, I'll lend you the money. Why don't we get one now from Morrisons? 76 00:03:28,063 --> 00:03:31,114 - Leave it, Stace. - Imagine if you are. Would you keep it? 77 00:03:31,214 --> 00:03:33,304 - I said leave it. - But what's Smithy gonna say? 78 00:03:33,404 --> 00:03:35,513 Are you gonna tell him? Oh, can I be godmother? 79 00:03:35,613 --> 00:03:37,415 Look. I don't want to talk about it no more. 80 00:03:37,516 --> 00:03:40,071 At the end of the day it's your night and, if truth be told, 81 00:03:40,170 --> 00:03:41,488 all I want to do is go out, 82 00:03:41,587 --> 00:03:44,196 get shit-faced, and have a curry or a fight down Caroline Street. 83 00:03:44,296 --> 00:03:46,539 - Oh, you're such a good friend. - I know. 84 00:03:50,172 --> 00:03:51,805 Well, this is a joke, Smithy. 85 00:03:51,905 --> 00:03:53,745 - Yeah, making a man queue on his stag night. 86 00:03:53,845 --> 00:03:57,144 - Yeah. - You should've seen him, 'I'm gonna give him the best night ever! 87 00:03:57,245 --> 00:03:59,853 'You won't believe it!' It's gonna be the night of the year, he said! 88 00:03:59,953 --> 00:04:02,715 How come I'm getting it in the neck? Shouldn't we be taking the piss out of him? 89 00:04:02,815 --> 00:04:04,254 Look at the beard! 90 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:09,363 - Off to work, ladies? - Put your tongues back in, you pervs! 91 00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:12,379 - Did you see the state of that? - Rotten. 92 00:04:12,479 --> 00:04:14,263 - She was all right. - Smithy, man. 93 00:04:14,362 --> 00:04:17,066 You've got, like, no standards. Like, zero standards. 94 00:04:17,167 --> 00:04:19,045 - How d'you mean? - You'll go with anyone. 95 00:04:19,146 --> 00:04:20,583 I think you could be right, you know. 96 00:04:20,683 --> 00:04:23,556 I can't think of a single woman I wouldn't let give me a little nosh. 97 00:04:23,656 --> 00:04:26,438 - Oh, man. He's serious. - Go on. Name one. Any woman. 98 00:04:26,538 --> 00:04:27,739 - Ann Widdecombe. - Why not? 99 00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:29,717 - All right, Nadia from Big Brother. - Bring it on. 100 00:04:29,817 --> 00:04:30,888 But she's a bloke. 101 00:04:30,988 --> 00:04:33,194 Shut your eyes, great babylons, who am I to quibble? 102 00:04:33,294 --> 00:04:35,552 - Janette Krankie! - Yeah, Janette Krankie! 103 00:04:35,653 --> 00:04:38,510 Seriously, I would love to have a go on Janette Krankie. 104 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,987 Not in the uniform, as long as she don't do the voice. 105 00:04:41,087 --> 00:04:43,234 You could both do it standing up! 106 00:04:43,334 --> 00:04:45,752 - No stag parties. Sorry. - Oh, Jesus! 107 00:04:47,729 --> 00:04:49,343 Don't have a go at me! 108 00:04:53,684 --> 00:04:55,643 It's part of the stag experience. 109 00:05:06,864 --> 00:05:08,610 Hey, it's gonna be crackin'. 110 00:05:08,710 --> 00:05:10,992 There's a rugby tournament on tomorrow and they're all out in town. 111 00:05:11,092 --> 00:05:13,066 Under 21s, the whole lot of them. 112 00:05:13,873 --> 00:05:15,699 - Erin's gone home. - Aw, what? 113 00:05:15,799 --> 00:05:18,539 Oh, Stace, she was twatted. She said sorry. 114 00:05:18,638 --> 00:05:20,844 - No, she didn't, she couldn't speak. - Ah, fair play. 115 00:05:20,944 --> 00:05:23,513 - Is that her sick outside? - Some of it's hers. And some of it's Sean's. 116 00:05:23,613 --> 00:05:25,058 - Who's Sean? - The scrum half. 117 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,729 She copped off with him. 118 00:05:27,439 --> 00:05:29,667 - He puked on her leg. - She puked on his back. 119 00:05:29,767 --> 00:05:32,356 - Ah, it was hilarious. - Right. Come on girls, down in one. 120 00:05:33,432 --> 00:05:35,866 - To Stacey! ALL: - To Stacey! 121 00:05:39,393 --> 00:05:41,007 Right, my round. 122 00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:42,237 Same again? 123 00:05:42,337 --> 00:05:45,022 I'll have a pint...of wine. 124 00:06:33,519 --> 00:06:35,786 I really like your mate. Is it Fingers? 125 00:06:37,514 --> 00:06:39,704 - Yeah, yeah. He's gay. - He's gay. 126 00:06:41,299 --> 00:06:42,989 Very, very gay. 127 00:06:43,089 --> 00:06:46,195 - We've known each other for years. - Best mates since we were four. 128 00:06:46,295 --> 00:06:47,540 Oh, sweet! 129 00:06:48,135 --> 00:06:49,845 So what is it you do then? 130 00:06:49,945 --> 00:06:51,497 - We're singers. - Really? 131 00:06:51,785 --> 00:06:54,243 Yeah. He's Preston from the Ordinary Boys. 132 00:06:55,185 --> 00:06:56,242 Oh, my God! 133 00:06:56,342 --> 00:06:58,352 - And he's the fat one in Glo. - Who? 134 00:06:58,775 --> 00:07:01,349 Glo. They came second on the X Factor. 135 00:07:01,449 --> 00:07:03,876 - Shut up! - He is! He's the fat one, look. 136 00:07:04,645 --> 00:07:06,163 Oh, yeah. You are! 137 00:07:06,758 --> 00:07:08,448 Hi, how's it goin'? Nice to meet you. 138 00:07:08,549 --> 00:07:11,574 - See? - So, what's with the T-shirts then? 139 00:07:11,674 --> 00:07:14,552 Well, Gavin is an ordinary boy's name 140 00:07:14,652 --> 00:07:17,851 - and my band is the Ordinary Boys. - So... 141 00:07:17,951 --> 00:07:20,272 - So, what you doing here then? - Just out with the lads. 142 00:07:20,372 --> 00:07:23,299 Yeah. Chico, Eton Road and little Ray are there. 143 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:27,313 - No, they're not! - Chico!.. Nah, he can't hear me. 144 00:07:28,532 --> 00:07:32,835 Oh, it's Gareth Gates... I'll take it outside, he'll be ages. 145 00:07:34,334 --> 00:07:37,984 So... what d'you think of our version of Bo-Rap? 146 00:07:38,682 --> 00:07:40,661 Some people say it's better than Queen. 147 00:07:42,948 --> 00:07:44,215 All right, love. 148 00:07:44,315 --> 00:07:46,347 Yeah, it's great! Smithy's on fire. 149 00:07:46,447 --> 00:07:48,883 You're not snogging any girls or nothin', are you? 150 00:07:48,983 --> 00:07:50,879 No, baby, don't be stupid. 151 00:07:51,607 --> 00:07:55,182 - How's your night going? - Aww. We're having a lovely time. 152 00:07:55,282 --> 00:07:57,717 Everyone's really shit-faced. 153 00:07:57,817 --> 00:08:01,071 Brilliant. Well, listen, you enjoy yourself, OK? 154 00:08:01,171 --> 00:08:03,890 OK. Speak to you tomorrow. Love you. 155 00:08:04,178 --> 00:08:05,331 Love you too. 156 00:08:08,102 --> 00:08:10,407 - Excuse me, are you Stacey West? - Yeah. 157 00:08:10,507 --> 00:08:14,346 I'm PC Lovelength. And you, young lady, are in big trouble. 158 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,150 Oh, my God. 159 00:08:41,494 --> 00:08:43,166 Oh my God! 160 00:08:46,815 --> 00:08:47,738 No way! 161 00:09:06,027 --> 00:09:08,102 There's no way that's real. 162 00:09:08,203 --> 00:09:10,330 That is lush. 163 00:09:29,743 --> 00:09:32,049 - I can't eat this. - I know. It's nasty, innit? 164 00:09:32,148 --> 00:09:33,622 No, it's beautiful. 165 00:09:33,722 --> 00:09:35,428 - It's just I can't believe it. - What? 166 00:09:35,528 --> 00:09:36,485 Shut up. 167 00:09:37,138 --> 00:09:39,040 - How dare you... - Smithy... 168 00:09:39,140 --> 00:09:41,153 - Stay out of it, Chinese Alan. - What's wrong? 169 00:09:41,253 --> 00:09:43,720 I've had enough. You've gone. You're someone else's. 170 00:09:43,820 --> 00:09:45,392 Ignore him. He's pissed. 171 00:09:45,492 --> 00:09:49,442 Best man. Best mates since we were four. And now it's over. 172 00:09:49,542 --> 00:09:52,144 You're just drunk. We'll always be mates, you know that. 173 00:09:52,411 --> 00:09:55,505 My dad hasn't seen his best man for seven years. 174 00:09:55,606 --> 00:09:59,252 When him and my mum got divorced he sent an e-mail, degrading. 175 00:09:59,945 --> 00:10:03,211 - He hasn't been round our house since 1991. - Who? Your Uncle Keith? 176 00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:05,573 - That's the one. - But he emigrated to Canada. 177 00:10:05,673 --> 00:10:07,454 Ah, look who's opened his mouth. 178 00:10:07,554 --> 00:10:10,316 You're always first with advice aren't you, Jesus? 179 00:10:10,586 --> 00:10:12,967 No-one even wanted you here tonight, I had to make that t-shirt 180 00:10:13,067 --> 00:10:16,117 last minute. - That's not true. - It is true! I can't stand ya. 181 00:10:16,217 --> 00:10:19,558 And if Jesus wants me for a sunbeam, he can shove it up his arse. 182 00:10:19,657 --> 00:10:21,844 - What have I done? - I'm going home. 183 00:10:22,113 --> 00:10:23,822 I've made a fool of meself. 184 00:10:24,302 --> 00:10:27,011 - Smithy, come on. - Shut up. 185 00:10:27,942 --> 00:10:30,400 - What you doin' with that? - I'll have it tomorrow. 186 00:10:31,784 --> 00:10:33,589 Smithy. Nice one, Jesus. 187 00:10:33,689 --> 00:10:36,375 - What did I do? - Shut up! - What did I... - Shut up! 188 00:10:39,653 --> 00:10:41,766 I just love him so much! 189 00:10:44,839 --> 00:10:47,144 And I know what you're all thinking. 190 00:10:50,872 --> 00:10:53,196 That it's all too quick and... 191 00:10:54,425 --> 00:10:56,635 this is sixth engagement. 192 00:10:58,946 --> 00:11:01,462 But it's so different with Gavin. 193 00:11:01,884 --> 00:11:04,939 It couldn't be less... the same. 194 00:11:07,507 --> 00:11:10,024 And all those other times with, like... 195 00:11:12,247 --> 00:11:13,591 Leighton... 196 00:11:14,188 --> 00:11:15,685 and Kyle and... 197 00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:17,780 even Achmed. 198 00:11:18,660 --> 00:11:20,696 I was just a child. 199 00:11:24,231 --> 00:11:27,630 But now, I know what love is. 200 00:11:29,749 --> 00:11:30,731 It's Gav. 201 00:11:32,997 --> 00:11:34,764 Oh, Stace... 202 00:11:38,619 --> 00:11:41,634 Don't get me wrong but to be honest... 203 00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:48,395 At the end ofthe day, when all's said and done... 204 00:11:54,050 --> 00:11:56,528 - D'you know what I mean? ALL: - Yeah. 205 00:11:59,045 --> 00:12:00,159 Simple as. 206 00:12:05,463 --> 00:12:08,365 I always used to call you Craig when you was a little boy! 207 00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:11,284 It doesn't feel right calling a grown man Fingers. 208 00:12:11,384 --> 00:12:14,204 - I mean, where does that come from? - Don't ask. 209 00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:18,722 Look at this, they reckon by the end of next year, the congestion charge will go up to 12 quid. 210 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:22,141 - 12 pound a day. - Yeah? That's why I don't drive. 211 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,888 You can't drive, you're still banned, aren't you? 212 00:12:24,988 --> 00:12:26,709 Yeah, but if you remember rightly, 213 00:12:26,809 --> 00:12:29,995 first time I was banned I still drove everywhere. But now, 214 00:12:30,095 --> 00:12:32,396 congestion charge, speed cameras. I mean, it's criminal. 215 00:12:32,496 --> 00:12:35,767 You 'member Little Doug's stopped nicking cars. Says it's not worth the hassle. 216 00:12:36,728 --> 00:12:38,707 - How is Dougie? - Not great. 217 00:12:39,220 --> 00:12:40,565 They did the DNA test. 218 00:12:40,665 --> 00:12:44,714 Turns out it was his semen on the dress, so it's not looking good. 219 00:12:44,978 --> 00:12:47,628 - Mornin'. You two still want a lift? - Cheers. - If it's all right. 220 00:12:47,729 --> 00:12:50,510 Yeah, but I've got to be with Barry by one. You OK to drive? 221 00:12:50,610 --> 00:12:53,335 - Have something more! - I'm fine! I wasn't even that drunk. 222 00:12:53,435 --> 00:12:55,871 - Here. Take this sausage, go on. - Take these with you. 223 00:12:55,971 --> 00:12:58,144 Give that to Gwen for the flowers, OK? 224 00:12:58,244 --> 00:13:01,543 And this one to Bryn. It's for the magician. 225 00:13:01,643 --> 00:13:02,870 - What? - Don't ask. 226 00:13:04,465 --> 00:13:06,866 - Thanks, Pam. - Cheers, Pamela. - See ya. 227 00:13:13,506 --> 00:13:15,446 So I can't cook either of you an omelette? 228 00:13:15,546 --> 00:13:17,002 Can't face it, Gwen. 229 00:13:17,367 --> 00:13:19,153 Eh, we had the police round here this morning. 230 00:13:19,253 --> 00:13:22,071 - Did you? - Yeah! PC Lovelength, his name was. 231 00:13:22,172 --> 00:13:25,202 - Wants his handcuffs back apparently. - Oh, Mum. 232 00:13:25,303 --> 00:13:29,407 It was so funny, he squirted cream all over his... 233 00:13:29,507 --> 00:13:32,248 - Only me! - In here, Bryn! Tell me later. 234 00:13:34,054 --> 00:13:35,303 - Hiya! - Hiya! 235 00:13:37,071 --> 00:13:39,568 - You two look rough! - I feels it. 236 00:13:40,029 --> 00:13:43,410 On HTV Wales this morning they said Cardiff town 237 00:13:43,510 --> 00:13:45,373 had been literally decimated 238 00:13:45,718 --> 00:13:48,389 by a group of unruly schoolgirls. 239 00:13:50,477 --> 00:13:53,186 Joking, I am. It wasn't on the news. 240 00:13:53,286 --> 00:13:55,719 Although on the news there was a story 241 00:13:55,818 --> 00:13:58,081 about some schoolgirls who actually stabbed a teacher. 242 00:13:58,182 --> 00:13:59,829 Which I think is disgusting. 243 00:14:00,110 --> 00:14:02,454 - Cup of tea, Bryn? - I won't actually, Gwen. 244 00:14:02,554 --> 00:14:04,913 I've just had a skinny, wet latte at Costas. 245 00:14:05,013 --> 00:14:07,160 I been to town, see. Bought myself a suit. 246 00:14:07,261 --> 00:14:08,121 Why?! 247 00:14:08,221 --> 00:14:11,379 I told you, you're wearing the same as Gavin and the ushers! 248 00:14:11,479 --> 00:14:13,799 Tell it to the hand, girlfriend. 249 00:14:14,985 --> 00:14:17,156 Not for the wedding. For the stag! 250 00:14:17,255 --> 00:14:20,595 I mean, we've had the hen, the stag must be just around the corner. 251 00:14:21,021 --> 00:14:22,884 I looked in the wardrobe and I thought 252 00:14:22,985 --> 00:14:26,036 there's nothing in here to keep up with those young guns. 253 00:14:26,304 --> 00:14:29,550 Foreign, it is. Swish. Cost an arm and a leg. 254 00:14:29,650 --> 00:14:33,454 But it's Gavin's stag and I think he's worth it. So, when is it? 255 00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:34,892 What? 256 00:14:36,620 --> 00:14:38,485 Well, just tell him the truth. 257 00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:43,689 Babe, I'm not having another stag tonight. I can't! 258 00:14:43,789 --> 00:14:47,646 Please, Gav. He'll be heartbroken. He's bought a suit and everything. 259 00:14:58,412 --> 00:15:00,160 - Hiya, babe. - Hiya. 260 00:15:03,084 --> 00:15:05,774 - Did you get through to Smithy? - No, I'll try him in a minute. 261 00:15:08,885 --> 00:15:10,192 All right, Gav? 262 00:15:10,950 --> 00:15:12,659 Gavin, don't worry. 263 00:15:13,599 --> 00:15:17,903 She's explained everything and I think your friends are a shower of shit! 264 00:15:19,191 --> 00:15:21,592 - I'm sorry you had to hear that. - That's all right, Bryn. 265 00:15:21,692 --> 00:15:24,044 But it makes me so cross to think of this 266 00:15:24,144 --> 00:15:27,021 smashing looking boy not getting a proper stag do. 267 00:15:27,464 --> 00:15:29,481 It's OK. I didn't want one anyway. 268 00:15:30,019 --> 00:15:32,112 I won't believe a word of it. Now, 269 00:15:32,385 --> 00:15:33,729 I am picking you up at seven, 270 00:15:33,829 --> 00:15:36,818 we're going straight down the Dolphin for a right good knees up. 271 00:15:37,087 --> 00:15:38,854 Me cockney sparra! 272 00:15:54,030 --> 00:15:54,953 Gav-lar. 273 00:15:57,431 --> 00:15:58,603 I feel rough. 274 00:15:59,832 --> 00:16:01,754 Kebab was nice though, wasn't it? 275 00:16:03,565 --> 00:16:06,524 I'm waiting for Lucy, she's got a trampolining display. 276 00:16:09,213 --> 00:16:10,001 What? 277 00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:13,721 No! Just me, you and him? 278 00:16:14,855 --> 00:16:16,643 No, I ain't comin' to Wales. 279 00:16:17,581 --> 00:16:18,790 No chance. 280 00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:20,711 - He's on his way. - Oh, well done. 281 00:16:20,811 --> 00:16:23,805 I'm sorry, Gav. But when Bryn gets an idea in his head, that's it. 282 00:16:23,905 --> 00:16:25,841 We'll be OK. Might even be a laugh. 283 00:16:26,455 --> 00:16:28,723 I used to work down the Dolphin, as it goes. 284 00:16:28,823 --> 00:16:31,087 If you see Carl, tell him I says, 'All right'. 285 00:16:31,586 --> 00:16:34,313 - I don't know who Carl is. - He's got a tattoo that says, 'I'm Carl'. 286 00:16:34,871 --> 00:16:36,946 - On his chin. - Look who it is! 287 00:16:37,046 --> 00:16:38,345 Hiya, Stace! 288 00:16:40,670 --> 00:16:41,957 All right, Jase? 289 00:16:42,056 --> 00:16:44,508 - How's it going, Ness? - I won't lie to you, I've been better. 290 00:16:44,608 --> 00:16:46,661 - You still gay? - Yep. - Crackin'. 291 00:16:46,761 --> 00:16:50,386 Jase, this is Gavin. Gavin, this is my big brother Jason. 292 00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:52,525 Yeah. Nice to meet you Gavin, heard loads about you. 293 00:16:52,625 --> 00:16:53,808 How come you're back so early? 294 00:16:53,907 --> 00:16:57,054 I was coming over anyway, for the wedding, but I had a cancellation. 295 00:16:57,154 --> 00:16:59,321 So Jose said, 'Why don't you go back early?' 296 00:16:59,421 --> 00:17:01,509 And I thought, 'Yeah, you know, why not?' 297 00:17:01,608 --> 00:17:04,446 I'll go and spend time with my sister before she takes the plunge. 298 00:17:04,547 --> 00:17:05,746 Oh, it's so nice to see you. 299 00:17:05,846 --> 00:17:09,204 I wish you'd told me you were coming. I got nothing in! No beers, 300 00:17:09,303 --> 00:17:11,412 I got a few eggs, a bit of ham and that's it. 301 00:17:11,513 --> 00:17:13,981 - Oooh, I could do an omelette! - Ah, nothing changes. 302 00:17:14,081 --> 00:17:16,402 Have you tried this woman's omelettes? Best in South Wales. 303 00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:18,476 - Yes I've had one or two. - Only me! 304 00:17:18,881 --> 00:17:20,341 I forgot to say, I... 305 00:17:32,233 --> 00:17:33,500 Hi, Uncle Bryn. 306 00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:37,594 You're back then. 307 00:17:41,747 --> 00:17:44,724 Well, this is where we're having the reception. 308 00:17:44,824 --> 00:17:47,740 And see these tables? They get moved for the dance floor. 309 00:17:47,839 --> 00:17:49,219 What's your first dance? 310 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:52,960 I want A Million Love Songs by Take That, but Gav wants How Deep Is Your Love. 311 00:17:53,060 --> 00:17:55,207 - But the Take That version. - Nice. 312 00:17:55,307 --> 00:17:56,293 And what about the food? 313 00:17:56,392 --> 00:18:00,134 Well, Gav's mam's vegetarian so we're having these special little quiches made for her. 314 00:18:00,595 --> 00:18:04,131 Oh, look. Why don't you come in the front room with everyone else? 315 00:18:04,874 --> 00:18:08,409 This has knocked the stuffing out of me, Gwen. A real ton of bricks. 316 00:18:08,509 --> 00:18:10,194 He's here for ten days. 317 00:18:10,294 --> 00:18:13,436 Can't you at least try to be civil to him for Gavin and Stacey's sake? 318 00:18:14,891 --> 00:18:17,791 You two got on good as gold before that fishing trip! 319 00:18:17,891 --> 00:18:21,096 - I don't want to talk about it. - But why, Bryn, why? 320 00:18:21,196 --> 00:18:24,280 - Don't! - What happened out there? What went on? 321 00:18:24,380 --> 00:18:26,989 I can't say. You know l can't! 322 00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:33,885 Now, I will go in that front room and I will be polite and I will be civil. 323 00:18:34,827 --> 00:18:37,919 But do not ask any more of me than that. 324 00:18:39,096 --> 00:18:42,996 And how many more have you got coming for the evening... 325 00:18:44,071 --> 00:18:47,414 Jason, I think it's very thoughtful of you to 326 00:18:47,707 --> 00:18:50,665 come back early to support your sister and your mother. 327 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:56,447 Thank you, Uncle Bryn. I appreciate that. 328 00:19:03,939 --> 00:19:07,205 - And then for the cars, we got this. - Nice! A Bentley. 329 00:19:07,305 --> 00:19:10,785 Yeah. We wanted a horse and carriage but they'd totally run out of horses. 330 00:19:10,886 --> 00:19:12,898 - Really? - Yeah. I was gutted. 331 00:19:12,998 --> 00:19:16,511 We're gonna need our own cab firm, there'll be that many people wanting a drink. 332 00:19:16,611 --> 00:19:19,204 Hey, don't forget, I can get four in the Picasso. 333 00:19:19,304 --> 00:19:20,986 - But Uncle Bryn... - Doris will need a lift. 334 00:19:21,086 --> 00:19:23,214 And Aunty Peg will need taking to the door. 335 00:19:23,314 --> 00:19:25,827 - I've never been in a Bentley before. - Hang on a minute... 336 00:19:25,927 --> 00:19:28,689 And me and the bridesmaids are going in a stretched Mercedes. 337 00:19:28,789 --> 00:19:31,454 I've been practising the walk. Right together, 338 00:19:31,553 --> 00:19:33,969 - left together and you go on my right, don't you, Stace? - Look... 339 00:19:34,069 --> 00:19:39,079 It's on the right. Walking down the aisle, it's terrifying. All those faces looking. 340 00:19:39,485 --> 00:19:41,887 Wait, I think there's been a misunderstanding. 341 00:19:42,713 --> 00:19:46,228 Jason, I'm so sorry. But you won't be giving me away. 342 00:19:47,255 --> 00:19:49,003 - Why not? - Oh. Right. 343 00:19:49,103 --> 00:19:51,999 I know it's what you wanted. But the thing is, 344 00:19:52,615 --> 00:19:54,056 since Dad died, 345 00:19:55,818 --> 00:19:58,796 well, I don't know how we'd have coped if it wasn't for you, Uncle Bryn. 346 00:19:59,814 --> 00:20:02,291 And that's why I want you to give me away. 347 00:20:02,612 --> 00:20:05,839 As a thank you, really. For all that you've done for us. 348 00:20:07,030 --> 00:20:09,125 And I think it's what Dad would've wanted. 349 00:20:10,526 --> 00:20:12,831 So will you? Give me away? 350 00:20:13,811 --> 00:20:15,194 I'd be honoured. 351 00:20:17,845 --> 00:20:20,477 Bit of a kick in the teeth for you that, eh, Jase? 352 00:20:31,637 --> 00:20:33,481 - Cheers. - Yeah, cheers. 353 00:20:34,245 --> 00:20:36,589 Here's to the big day. And the big night. 354 00:20:57,097 --> 00:20:58,941 Shame Jason couldn't make it. 355 00:21:06,343 --> 00:21:09,973 What's the deal with you two? Stacey said something about a fishing trip. 356 00:21:10,074 --> 00:21:11,761 There he is! Over here! 357 00:21:12,414 --> 00:21:14,431 All right? All right, Bryn? 358 00:21:14,891 --> 00:21:16,697 Here he is, the best man. 359 00:21:17,274 --> 00:21:19,924 Now, let me say my piece before we get started. 360 00:21:20,750 --> 00:21:23,613 You, young man, are a disgrace. 361 00:21:24,420 --> 00:21:27,666 What kind of best man doesn't organise a stag for the groom? 362 00:21:28,114 --> 00:21:31,841 This poor chap, he's not known where to turn because you 363 00:21:31,941 --> 00:21:35,088 have been filling his head with nonsense about him not needing one. 364 00:21:35,188 --> 00:21:37,354 I shouldn't have to organise all this tonight! 365 00:21:37,721 --> 00:21:40,180 I know. I'm out of order. 366 00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:44,292 Apology accepted. We'll say nothing more about it. 367 00:21:44,392 --> 00:21:47,192 Now, stick these on. And I'll get you a drink. What's your poison? 368 00:21:48,032 --> 00:21:49,587 Beer, cheers. Thanks. 369 00:21:51,845 --> 00:21:54,592 - What a shit hole! - I'm sorry, mate. 370 00:21:54,692 --> 00:21:56,475 I've just seen a bloke with a tattoo on his chin. 371 00:21:56,575 --> 00:21:59,298 - That'll be Carl. - Hey! Get those antlers on you! 372 00:22:02,176 --> 00:22:03,769 Don't talk to me. 373 00:22:06,498 --> 00:22:08,956 So I've got to spend every minute with them? 374 00:22:09,056 --> 00:22:11,328 Sharing a room and everything? But no funny business? 375 00:22:11,428 --> 00:22:13,980 Yeah. It's difficult. I'd marry Anneka Rice. 376 00:22:14,874 --> 00:22:18,544 Are we talking Pam St Clements as herself or as Pat Butcher? 377 00:22:18,644 --> 00:22:20,541 - Pat Butcher. - That changes everything 378 00:22:20,641 --> 00:22:22,578 because I don't think I could sleep with her. 379 00:22:22,954 --> 00:22:26,738 But, on the other hand, I don't think I could spend a year with Davina McCall. 380 00:22:33,861 --> 00:22:37,664 - The thing is, he don't even have a dog! - I don't even like them! 381 00:22:38,077 --> 00:22:40,132 Stop it! I can't take it! 382 00:22:41,973 --> 00:22:45,623 You know what, you remind me of my friend, Roy. 383 00:22:46,910 --> 00:22:51,558 You get yourself in a pickle but somehow you always wriggle out of it. 384 00:22:54,123 --> 00:22:57,658 Dead now, Roy. Killed himself. Jumped off the top of Morrisons. 385 00:22:59,944 --> 00:23:02,538 - Who's for another drink? - I'll get these. 386 00:23:04,981 --> 00:23:06,979 I'm having a whale of a time. 387 00:23:09,668 --> 00:23:11,801 I don't believe it. It's Achmed! 388 00:23:12,743 --> 00:23:15,451 ACHMEEEED! 389 00:23:16,257 --> 00:23:17,065 Bryn! 390 00:23:22,083 --> 00:23:24,003 I thought you'd moved to Swindon! 391 00:23:24,103 --> 00:23:26,577 I have. I'm back to see my mum, she had her appendix out. 392 00:23:26,677 --> 00:23:28,999 What a treat. Come on, come and join us. 393 00:23:29,099 --> 00:23:31,840 I'm meeting a friend, actually, but I've got a few minutes. 394 00:23:31,940 --> 00:23:33,347 Smithy, another pint in. 395 00:23:33,674 --> 00:23:37,284 Gavin, this is Achmed. Achmed, Gavin. 396 00:23:37,384 --> 00:23:39,090 - All right, mate. Nice to meet you. - All right? 397 00:23:39,191 --> 00:23:44,408 Gavin is Stacey's fiancee. They're getting married exactly one week from today. 398 00:23:45,419 --> 00:23:47,416 Well, at least you set a date. 399 00:23:47,516 --> 00:23:49,740 - That's further than most, eh, Bryn? - What d'you mean? 400 00:23:50,451 --> 00:23:52,372 Well, when we were engaged, we never got that far. 401 00:23:52,473 --> 00:23:54,996 You were engaged to Stacey? My Stacey? 402 00:23:55,573 --> 00:23:57,109 - Stacey West? - Stacey West. Yeah. 403 00:23:57,209 --> 00:23:59,933 I was number four. You must be, what, number six? 404 00:24:01,222 --> 00:24:03,048 Where's Smithy with those drinks? 405 00:24:03,148 --> 00:24:05,929 - How've you been, Achmed? - Number six? What you on about? 406 00:24:06,030 --> 00:24:08,215 I was number four, no, let's see... 407 00:24:08,541 --> 00:24:11,500 - Who was first, Bryn? Was it Kyle? - Here he is! 408 00:24:11,843 --> 00:24:15,205 - Let me help you with those. - No, it was Hywel. 409 00:24:15,477 --> 00:24:20,139 That's right. Then Kyle, Leighton, me, Cliff and now you. 410 00:24:20,239 --> 00:24:23,231 - Yeah, you're number six. - She's been engaged five times? 411 00:24:23,331 --> 00:24:25,536 - What? - Yeah. Didn't you know? 412 00:24:25,844 --> 00:24:27,170 No, I didn't know. 413 00:24:27,669 --> 00:24:29,110 Cos nobody told me! 414 00:24:29,533 --> 00:24:33,144 Don't think of it as some kind of conspiracy. Cos it wasn't like that. 415 00:24:33,244 --> 00:24:36,295 It's just Stacey felt it was better if we kept it from you. 416 00:24:36,395 --> 00:24:37,927 Hang on a minute. What's going on? 417 00:24:38,028 --> 00:24:40,483 I feel awful. It was a long time ago. 418 00:24:40,583 --> 00:24:43,615 - Right, who are you? - I don't care how long ago it was. 419 00:24:43,984 --> 00:24:45,886 She knows everything about me. 420 00:24:46,289 --> 00:24:48,460 - Where you going? - I'll be back in a minute. 421 00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:49,247 Gav? 422 00:24:58,167 --> 00:25:00,203 Oh, hiya! Why didn't you come round the back? 423 00:25:00,303 --> 00:25:02,873 Why didn't you tell me you'd been engaged five times? 424 00:25:02,974 --> 00:25:04,890 - What? - Why didn't you tell me? 425 00:25:04,990 --> 00:25:07,253 - Gavin! - Yeah. Havin' a lovely night. 426 00:25:07,542 --> 00:25:10,308 - I've just had a drink with your ex fiancee! - Oh, my God! 427 00:25:10,408 --> 00:25:11,768 How d'you think I feel, Stace? 428 00:25:11,868 --> 00:25:13,401 - Was it Clifford? - No. 429 00:25:13,501 --> 00:25:15,073 - Leighton? - No. - Hywell? 430 00:25:15,172 --> 00:25:17,390 - No, Achmed. - But he's moved to Swindon! 431 00:25:17,489 --> 00:25:20,407 He's home to see his mum. She's had her appendix out. 432 00:25:20,867 --> 00:25:23,460 - Well, don't stand there. Come in and talk. - No, I ain't stopping. 433 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:25,497 - Where you going? - I dunno! 434 00:25:25,597 --> 00:25:28,437 I dunno anything, do I? I don't know who you are. 435 00:25:28,975 --> 00:25:31,030 I'm meant to be marrying you a week today, that's a joke! 436 00:25:31,130 --> 00:25:33,316 - Oh, come on, you're overreacting. - Am I? 437 00:25:33,732 --> 00:25:36,595 I didn't tell you cos I knew it would look worse than it was. 438 00:25:36,695 --> 00:25:38,765 I might have been engaged six times but I've only been in love once. 439 00:25:38,865 --> 00:25:41,589 - And that's with you. - How can I believe that? 440 00:25:42,696 --> 00:25:45,232 If you'd have told me at the start I could've dealt with it. 441 00:25:45,332 --> 00:25:46,942 But now it just feels like... 442 00:25:48,376 --> 00:25:50,414 Y'know, we've been treating it like this is the first time 443 00:25:50,514 --> 00:25:52,795 for both of us. Really exciting and that. 444 00:25:53,595 --> 00:25:56,572 - But you've done it all before. - No! - Five times! 445 00:25:56,919 --> 00:25:58,647 Five times, Stacey. 446 00:25:59,261 --> 00:26:01,029 And now I'm just doubting everything. 447 00:26:01,128 --> 00:26:04,311 - Maybe it is too soon, maybe Smithy's right. - No, you're talking rubbish. 448 00:26:04,411 --> 00:26:07,262 I been thinkin' about it a few days, maybe it is too quick. 449 00:26:07,361 --> 00:26:10,239 - No... - Maybe we should put the brakes on, postpone the wedding. 450 00:26:10,339 --> 00:26:12,851 - Or just call it off! - That's what you want, is it? 451 00:26:13,191 --> 00:26:15,189 Yeah! Maybe. 452 00:26:15,515 --> 00:26:18,147 You want to postpone our wedding because of things that happened 453 00:26:18,247 --> 00:26:21,029 before I even knew you? Before we'd even met? 454 00:26:24,997 --> 00:26:27,802 - I love you so much. - I love you. - But this... 455 00:26:28,878 --> 00:26:30,606 This is just ridiculous. 456 00:26:30,706 --> 00:26:32,374 - Gav! - See ya. 457 00:26:32,758 --> 00:26:34,775 Gavin! Please don't go! 458 00:26:35,575 --> 00:26:36,689 Gavin! 459 00:26:36,739 --> 00:26:41,289 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 37497

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