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1
00:00:01,635 --> 00:00:04,235
And whoever finds the
cow gets a free dessert.
2
00:00:04,804 --> 00:00:06,504
- Oh, that's so cute!
- I know!
3
00:00:06,606 --> 00:00:07,705
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
4
00:00:07,774 --> 00:00:09,240
So, any big plans for the weekend?
5
00:00:09,309 --> 00:00:10,508
No, not really.
6
00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:13,338
Just gonna make some smoothies,
stop by Rite-Aid,
7
00:00:13,445 --> 00:00:14,812
watch a Kent State documentary.
8
00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:15,979
No. No way.
9
00:00:16,048 --> 00:00:17,447
I know. It's still hard to believe.
10
00:00:17,516 --> 00:00:18,549
They were st kids.
11
00:00:18,617 --> 00:00:20,584
No. I mean, you are too fun a guy
12
00:00:20,686 --> 00:00:22,119
to have that boring of a weekend, Louis.
13
00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:23,854
Hey, you ought to come bowling with me
14
00:00:23,956 --> 00:00:25,693
and a group of my friends on Saturday.
15
00:00:25,791 --> 00:00:27,023
You already have a group of friends?
16
00:00:27,059 --> 00:00:28,858
Because of bowling.
It's an intramural league.
17
00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:31,761
Great way to meet great people.
You would love the guys.
18
00:00:31,830 --> 00:00:33,697
- Oh, yeah?
- Oh, absolutely.
19
00:00:33,765 --> 00:00:37,338
Oliver, Sebastian, Gabe, Buckets.
20
00:00:37,468 --> 00:00:39,468
He's the only one who's
earned a nickname so far.
21
00:00:39,537 --> 00:00:41,537
His real name is Jeffrey Polaccia.
22
00:00:41,606 --> 00:00:42,872
Polaccia. Foccacia.
23
00:00:42,974 --> 00:00:44,807
Olive oil. Popeye. Muscles.
24
00:00:44,876 --> 00:00:45,842
Jean-Claude Van Damme.
25
00:00:45,944 --> 00:00:47,376
Women. "Little Women."
26
00:00:47,478 --> 00:00:48,711
Kirsten Dunst. Pale.
27
00:00:48,780 --> 00:00:50,680
"Pail" with an "I." Buckets!
28
00:00:50,748 --> 00:00:53,216
Train of thought! Yeah! [LAUGHS]
29
00:00:53,318 --> 00:00:55,035
Now you got to come.
30
00:00:55,152 --> 00:00:56,852
Bowling does sound fun.
31
00:00:56,954 --> 00:00:59,421
I just have to check with
the old ball and chain first.
32
00:00:59,457 --> 00:01:00,456
- Hey. [GRUMBLES]
- Hey!
33
00:01:00,558 --> 00:01:01,590
[BOTH LAUGH]
34
00:01:02,608 --> 00:01:04,360
What do you think about me going bowling
35
00:01:04,428 --> 00:01:06,862
with Matthew Chestnut and
his friends this weekend?
36
00:01:06,964 --> 00:01:09,264
S04E12
Liar Liar
37
00:01:09,367 --> 00:01:10,432
? Fresh off the boat ?
38
00:01:10,534 --> 00:01:12,134
? I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go ?
39
00:01:12,236 --> 00:01:14,436
? If you don't know,
homey, now you know ?
40
00:01:14,538 --> 00:01:15,704
? Fresh off the boat ?
41
00:01:15,806 --> 00:01:17,673
? Homey,
you don't know where I come from ?
42
00:01:17,775 --> 00:01:19,308
? But I know where I'm goin' ?
43
00:01:19,410 --> 00:01:20,948
? I'm fresh off the boat ?
44
00:01:20,990 --> 00:01:22,810
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
45
00:01:23,981 --> 00:01:25,914
I don't know. Maybe I won't go bowling.
46
00:01:26,016 --> 00:01:27,415
I don't know Matthew outside of work,
47
00:01:27,517 --> 00:01:28,884
and I never met any of his friends.
48
00:01:28,986 --> 00:01:30,352
It would be different if you could come,
49
00:01:30,454 --> 00:01:33,021
but you're going to this
bachelor party in Savannah.
50
00:01:33,156 --> 00:01:34,356
I planned a scavenger hunt.
51
00:01:34,458 --> 00:01:36,558
First one that finds a Democrat wins.
52
00:01:36,660 --> 00:01:38,326
[LAUGHS]
53
00:01:38,428 --> 00:01:39,943
Come on. You don't need me.
54
00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,011
You'll be a little nervous at first,
but you'll settle in.
55
00:01:42,075 --> 00:01:44,232
Some of my fondest memories
were spent with people
56
00:01:44,334 --> 00:01:46,134
that I didn't even know at
the beginning of the night.
57
00:01:46,236 --> 00:01:48,069
Hmm. Yeah, maybe you're right.
58
00:01:48,138 --> 00:01:49,170
Attaboy.
59
00:01:49,273 --> 00:01:50,472
Just make sure you stay sober enough
60
00:01:50,540 --> 00:01:53,108
to pick me up from
the airport on Sunday.
61
00:01:53,210 --> 00:01:55,184
God knows Honey can't do it.
62
00:01:55,405 --> 00:01:58,046
Arrivals, arrivals.
63
00:01:58,148 --> 00:01:59,881
Arrivals. Okay.
64
00:01:59,983 --> 00:02:01,249
No! No!
65
00:02:01,351 --> 00:02:02,584
How am I in the departures lane?!
66
00:02:02,686 --> 00:02:04,286
[BUS HORN HONKS] [SCREAMS]
67
00:02:04,388 --> 00:02:06,021
I am trying my best!
68
00:02:06,123 --> 00:02:08,356
[BUS HORN BLARES] Shut up!
69
00:02:08,458 --> 00:02:10,058
[CRYING]
70
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,661
The last time, I had to take a taxi
71
00:02:12,763 --> 00:02:15,196
from the airport to pick
her up at a Jack in the Box.
72
00:02:15,299 --> 00:02:16,765
[CHUCKLES]
73
00:02:18,869 --> 00:02:20,368
Hello.
74
00:02:20,470 --> 00:02:22,137
Oh, I'm so sorry I'm late.
75
00:02:22,205 --> 00:02:23,438
Well, it doesn't matter now.
76
00:02:23,540 --> 00:02:24,839
The middle school's production
77
00:02:24,942 --> 00:02:26,041
of "Anne of Green Gables"
78
00:02:26,143 --> 00:02:27,609
started 20 minutes ago.
79
00:02:27,711 --> 00:02:28,777
By the time we get there,
80
00:02:28,879 --> 00:02:30,211
Anne will already be out of the gable.
81
00:02:30,314 --> 00:02:31,346
I'm sorry.
82
00:02:31,415 --> 00:02:33,114
I had to try on five different outfits
83
00:02:33,216 --> 00:02:35,050
to find one to fit my baby bump.
84
00:02:35,152 --> 00:02:36,952
And I hadn't even started on my hair.
85
00:02:37,054 --> 00:02:38,219
But you're not even showing.
86
00:02:38,322 --> 00:02:40,121
You have no idea how
tight my clothes are.
87
00:02:40,223 --> 00:02:41,456
There's no margin for error.
88
00:02:41,558 --> 00:02:43,425
You know, Honey, once you have a kid,
89
00:02:43,527 --> 00:02:44,559
you're not gonna have time
90
00:02:44,661 --> 00:02:46,194
to get yourself all dolled up every day.
91
00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:48,530
Trust me.
If you think I'm beautiful now,
92
00:02:48,598 --> 00:02:50,732
you should have seen me
when I had time to try.
93
00:02:52,536 --> 00:02:53,702
Quick chat.
94
00:02:53,804 --> 00:02:54,803
Uh-oh.
95
00:02:54,905 --> 00:02:56,438
It sounds like I'm in trouble.
96
00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:58,039
Have a seat.
97
00:03:00,483 --> 00:03:03,244
Honey, the amount of time
you spend getting ready
98
00:03:03,313 --> 00:03:04,746
is affecting our group plans.
99
00:03:04,815 --> 00:03:06,848
Last week,
we were supposed to go to a puppet show.
100
00:03:06,950 --> 00:03:08,249
Before that, we were supposed to see
101
00:03:08,352 --> 00:03:10,118
the cast of "One Life to Live"
at the mall.
102
00:03:10,220 --> 00:03:11,419
You need a new pregnancy look...
103
00:03:11,521 --> 00:03:13,355
One that will get you
out of the door faster
104
00:03:13,457 --> 00:03:16,013
because next week,
the community pool opens.
105
00:03:16,076 --> 00:03:17,709
If you're not there right at 9:00,
106
00:03:17,811 --> 00:03:18,977
you don't get a chair,
107
00:03:19,113 --> 00:03:21,446
and you'll have to put
your towel on the ground.
108
00:03:21,755 --> 00:03:23,348
On the ground.
109
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:26,485
I would actually love a new look.
110
00:03:26,769 --> 00:03:30,155
I'm ready for something more
mature and low-maintenance,
111
00:03:30,257 --> 00:03:32,591
but I don't have any
idea where to start.
112
00:03:32,693 --> 00:03:33,658
We'll help you.
113
00:03:33,761 --> 00:03:35,994
Close your eyes.
114
00:03:36,366 --> 00:03:38,764
Think Princess Di pregnant with Harry.
115
00:03:38,866 --> 00:03:40,198
[GASPS]
116
00:03:42,936 --> 00:03:44,402
What are you doing this weekend?
117
00:03:44,471 --> 00:03:46,570
I was thinking about seeing a movie.
118
00:03:46,739 --> 00:03:47,572
Yeah.
119
00:03:47,932 --> 00:03:50,328
Uh, I thought I'd see a movie, too.
120
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:56,581
Bye.
121
00:03:59,859 --> 00:04:00,693
Hey, Eddie.
122
00:04:00,771 --> 00:04:02,186
Did you have any trouble getting in?
123
00:04:02,255 --> 00:04:03,278
No.
124
00:04:04,457 --> 00:04:06,624
The man with the rubber glove
was surprisingly gentle.
125
00:04:06,693 --> 00:04:08,859
[LAUGHS] I'm dying! I'm gonna die!
126
00:04:08,928 --> 00:04:10,795
I love Jim Carrey so much!
127
00:04:10,830 --> 00:04:12,997
TOGETHER: "Do not go in there!"
128
00:04:13,399 --> 00:04:14,899
"Whew!"
129
00:04:15,425 --> 00:04:16,654
Um, Nicole?
130
00:04:16,844 --> 00:04:18,402
Where were you with the "whew"?
131
00:04:22,308 --> 00:04:24,506
Don't tell me you still
haven't asked out Jackie.
132
00:04:25,277 --> 00:04:26,310
Are you kidding me?
133
00:04:26,378 --> 00:04:27,778
You guys have been talking for weeks!
134
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:28,879
I know!
135
00:04:28,981 --> 00:04:30,881
But every time I try,
136
00:04:30,950 --> 00:04:32,950
I get super nervous and I chicken out.
137
00:04:33,018 --> 00:04:35,410
Okay, why don't we do a group thing?
138
00:04:35,687 --> 00:04:36,820
So there'll be less pressure.
139
00:04:36,888 --> 00:04:38,021
I'll come with you on the date,
140
00:04:38,090 --> 00:04:39,322
and once you guys get comfortable,
141
00:04:39,391 --> 00:04:41,324
I'll just slide on out.
142
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:42,726
Yeah.
143
00:04:43,045 --> 00:04:45,829
That would make it less scary.
144
00:04:46,158 --> 00:04:47,597
Okay. Wait here.
145
00:04:47,699 --> 00:04:49,632
I'm gonna go do it.
146
00:04:53,237 --> 00:04:55,104
"Hey, girl. Y'all hiring?"
147
00:04:55,173 --> 00:04:57,306
"Yeah. What job you interested in?"
148
00:04:57,408 --> 00:04:58,541
"Being your girlfriend."
149
00:04:58,643 --> 00:05:01,143
"Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! You stupid.
150
00:05:01,212 --> 00:05:03,312
You got the job. When can you start?"
151
00:05:03,381 --> 00:05:04,714
"How about right now?"
152
00:05:04,816 --> 00:05:06,349
"[SCOFFS] But the customers!"
153
00:05:07,085 --> 00:05:09,650
"I'm giving you a thumbs-up
'cause you're so smart, Eddie.
154
00:05:09,766 --> 00:05:11,354
Err'one underestimates you."
155
00:05:14,558 --> 00:05:16,091
What if I get there before Matthew
156
00:05:16,126 --> 00:05:17,793
and I have to pretend I
don't see four other men
157
00:05:17,828 --> 00:05:19,428
wearing the same bowling shirt as me?
158
00:05:19,496 --> 00:05:22,164
You got to calm down, Louis.
This is low-stakes.
159
00:05:22,232 --> 00:05:24,466
If you're not having a good time,
you just come home.
160
00:05:24,535 --> 00:05:27,202
Besides, bowling is just golf for people
161
00:05:27,237 --> 00:05:28,770
who like germs anyway.
162
00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:31,006
I heard that sadists hide
needles in the ball holes
163
00:05:31,075 --> 00:05:34,164
with little notes that say, "Congrats.
Now you have hep-C."
164
00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:36,560
I don't know.
165
00:05:38,808 --> 00:05:40,848
I am so excited to get new clothes.
166
00:05:40,951 --> 00:05:42,884
This makeover can't come soon enough.
167
00:05:42,953 --> 00:05:44,852
I'm afraid my baby
will have a dent on it
168
00:05:44,921 --> 00:05:46,721
that says "Jordache."
169
00:05:48,191 --> 00:05:49,958
Why are we stopping in
front of this quilt store?
170
00:05:50,060 --> 00:05:51,993
This is a maternity store.
171
00:05:52,062 --> 00:05:53,394
Oh.
172
00:05:53,430 --> 00:05:56,788
They look less elegant when
they're not on Princess Di.
173
00:05:57,063 --> 00:05:59,364
We're working with a different budget,
so...
174
00:05:59,469 --> 00:06:02,203
I don't know.
These outfits are a little...
175
00:06:02,271 --> 00:06:04,538
Ooh,
you can wear that one in the shower!
176
00:06:09,277 --> 00:06:10,839
This is my favorite sushi place.
177
00:06:10,913 --> 00:06:12,045
I came here for the first time
178
00:06:12,147 --> 00:06:13,580
before I saw "Life is Beautiful."
179
00:06:13,649 --> 00:06:15,382
Oh, my God. I'm dying to see that movie.
180
00:06:15,484 --> 00:06:16,717
I think it has a real shot at Cannes.
181
00:06:17,296 --> 00:06:19,586
Yo. Why is there mango in this?
182
00:06:19,622 --> 00:06:23,957
I'm just saying if your fish is quality,
you don't need fruit.
183
00:06:25,155 --> 00:06:27,027
It's so crazy we ran into you
184
00:06:27,096 --> 00:06:29,261
on your way home from the video store.
185
00:06:29,397 --> 00:06:31,764
[CHUCKLES] Quelle coincidence.
186
00:06:31,867 --> 00:06:33,633
Ah. Tu parle francais.
187
00:06:33,702 --> 00:06:35,368
[BOTH LAUGH]
My mom's making me take Latin.
188
00:06:35,846 --> 00:06:37,871
I can read the hell out of money.
189
00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:40,773
So, you probably want to go watch
190
00:06:40,842 --> 00:06:42,575
that movie you rented, huh, Eddie?
191
00:06:42,644 --> 00:06:44,811
Oh, yeah!
I rented "Ace Ventura. Pet Detective"
192
00:06:44,913 --> 00:06:46,521
for the millionth time.
193
00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:48,381
See ya, guys. Have fun.
194
00:06:48,483 --> 00:06:50,950
Ugh. That movie is awful.
195
00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:53,919
That giant Gumby actor
is the [DISTORTED] worst.
196
00:06:55,023 --> 00:06:56,522
Just walk away, Eddie.
197
00:06:56,591 --> 00:06:58,491
[SIGHS] You can't control the situation.
198
00:06:58,559 --> 00:07:00,326
You can only control your reaction.
199
00:07:00,428 --> 00:07:02,828
Don't ruin this for Nicole
by making it about you.
200
00:07:02,930 --> 00:07:05,131
[INHALES, EXHALES DEEPLY]
201
00:07:05,438 --> 00:07:06,799
Nope!
202
00:07:08,013 --> 00:07:09,913
By "giant Gumby actor,"
203
00:07:09,970 --> 00:07:11,804
are you referring to the
greatest physical comedian
204
00:07:11,839 --> 00:07:13,305
of our time, Jim Carrey?
205
00:07:13,374 --> 00:07:14,907
What that guy does is not comedy.
206
00:07:15,009 --> 00:07:16,041
It's vaudeville.
207
00:07:16,077 --> 00:07:17,676
He might as well be
touring with the circus.
208
00:07:17,711 --> 00:07:18,777
They'd be lucky to have him!
209
00:07:18,846 --> 00:07:20,345
Please. Jim Carrey has never done
210
00:07:20,414 --> 00:07:21,980
anything of cultural significance.
211
00:07:22,083 --> 00:07:23,977
Oh. Okay.
212
00:07:24,093 --> 00:07:25,050
Let me just call up the Wayans brothers
213
00:07:25,152 --> 00:07:26,626
and let them know that "In Living Color"
214
00:07:26,669 --> 00:07:28,253
wasn't "culturally significant."
215
00:07:28,355 --> 00:07:30,755
Nicole, Jim Carrey is hilarious, right?
216
00:07:34,728 --> 00:07:36,394
He is pretty broad.
217
00:07:43,536 --> 00:07:44,735
- Oh, Louis!
- [CHUCKLES]
218
00:07:44,804 --> 00:07:45,870
I'm so glad you made it.
219
00:07:45,939 --> 00:07:47,538
Let me introduce you to the guys.
220
00:07:47,607 --> 00:07:51,943
That is Sebastian, Oliver,
Buckets, and Gabe.
221
00:07:52,045 --> 00:07:53,077
You can call me Sweetwater.
222
00:07:53,179 --> 00:07:54,212
No. No.
223
00:07:54,314 --> 00:07:56,113
You cannot give yourself a nickname,
Gabe.
224
00:07:56,216 --> 00:07:58,416
Do not call him... Sweetwater.
225
00:07:59,352 --> 00:08:02,066
Um, it's nice to meet you guys.
226
00:08:02,288 --> 00:08:03,421
- Good to meet you.
- Good to meet you, man.
227
00:08:03,523 --> 00:08:04,689
Y-Y-You too.
228
00:08:11,831 --> 00:08:13,130
Oliver is from Richmond.
229
00:08:13,233 --> 00:08:14,165
Oh!
230
00:08:14,267 --> 00:08:16,000
I still go back for Christmas.
231
00:08:16,378 --> 00:08:17,735
Oh. Wow.
232
00:08:22,463 --> 00:08:24,175
[SIGHS] Yeah. [CHUCKLES]
233
00:08:26,813 --> 00:08:27,812
It's, uh, cold in here.
234
00:08:27,914 --> 00:08:28,813
Mm.
235
00:08:28,915 --> 00:08:30,674
[SHIVERS]
236
00:08:32,919 --> 00:08:33,914
Well...
237
00:08:37,090 --> 00:08:40,825
[LAUGHTER]
238
00:08:40,927 --> 00:08:42,226
Oh.
239
00:08:42,328 --> 00:08:43,294
Oh.
240
00:08:44,363 --> 00:08:46,230
I told you we had pizza rolls!
241
00:08:46,332 --> 00:08:47,465
[ALL CHEER]
242
00:08:47,567 --> 00:08:49,133
You guys got any ranch?
243
00:08:49,235 --> 00:08:50,635
[LAUGHTER]
244
00:08:50,737 --> 00:08:53,137
[SIGHS] Oh, no.
245
00:08:53,239 --> 00:08:55,773
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
246
00:08:55,875 --> 00:08:57,231
[GROANS]
247
00:08:58,011 --> 00:08:59,243
Aah!
248
00:08:59,312 --> 00:09:00,845
How could you do this?!
249
00:09:01,738 --> 00:09:02,647
[SPITS] I know.
250
00:09:02,749 --> 00:09:05,950
I hit the sauce pretty hard,
but Buckets kept buying shots.
251
00:09:06,052 --> 00:09:07,818
I'm not mad at you for being drunk.
252
00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:10,988
I'm mad at you because you
can't handle having friends.
253
00:09:12,125 --> 00:09:14,012
[SNORING]
254
00:09:15,416 --> 00:09:16,186
Louis!
255
00:09:16,302 --> 00:09:17,428
Huh? What happened?
256
00:09:21,546 --> 00:09:23,831
What do you mean I can't
handle having friends?
257
00:09:23,915 --> 00:09:25,481
I can see the warning signs.
258
00:09:25,550 --> 00:09:28,084
You did this in your 20s when
you got a new group of friends.
259
00:09:28,152 --> 00:09:30,870
You offer your help with everything...
260
00:09:30,933 --> 00:09:33,837
Helping them move,
de-popcorning their ceiling,
261
00:09:33,942 --> 00:09:35,724
walking your roommate's dog...
262
00:09:35,826 --> 00:09:36,725
Gizmo.
263
00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:38,760
I mean, if anything, he was walking me.
264
00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:41,964
Until you completely
overextend yourself.
265
00:09:42,032 --> 00:09:44,566
Your body breaks down,
and you slip a disc.
266
00:09:44,635 --> 00:09:47,736
You do fine when you have
one good friend, like Marvin.
267
00:09:47,838 --> 00:09:49,371
But when you have a whole group of them,
268
00:09:49,473 --> 00:09:51,436
you spread yourself too thin.
269
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,842
And it always starts with pizza rolls.
270
00:09:53,910 --> 00:09:55,577
Oh, come on. That was a long time ago.
271
00:09:55,645 --> 00:09:58,146
Exactly. You're not in college anymore.
272
00:09:58,215 --> 00:09:59,280
If you injure yourself,
273
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:01,549
you're not just missing
an Ultimate Frisbee game.
274
00:10:01,618 --> 00:10:03,184
You have a family you
have to think about.
275
00:10:03,253 --> 00:10:05,286
I'm just having fun with my new friends.
276
00:10:05,388 --> 00:10:06,688
I'm not helping any of them.
277
00:10:06,790 --> 00:10:08,590
Now, tomorrow we have
plans to go to a Hooters
278
00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:09,991
and eat hot wings. That's it.
279
00:10:10,093 --> 00:10:12,117
[LAUGHS]
280
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:13,927
Sure, Louis. Sure.
281
00:10:14,029 --> 00:10:16,029
You're going to a Hooters.
282
00:10:16,097 --> 00:10:18,831
What are you really doing?
Cleaning out Gabe's garage?
283
00:10:18,934 --> 00:10:20,500
Helping Oliver hang shelves?
284
00:10:20,569 --> 00:10:23,825
I swear on our children's lives
that I am going to a Hooters!
285
00:10:25,140 --> 00:10:27,040
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
286
00:10:29,544 --> 00:10:30,509
Yo!
287
00:10:30,578 --> 00:10:32,111
What was that the other day?
288
00:10:32,180 --> 00:10:33,646
Yeah, what was that?
289
00:10:33,714 --> 00:10:36,048
Jackie was so upset after
you told her that Jim Carrey
290
00:10:36,117 --> 00:10:38,217
could
"hump circles around Roberto Benigni"
291
00:10:38,286 --> 00:10:39,485
that she went home.
292
00:10:39,554 --> 00:10:41,287
She didn't even eat her
toothpicked orange slices.
293
00:10:41,355 --> 00:10:43,689
Well, maybe you should have
stuck up for me and Jim Carrey.
294
00:10:43,758 --> 00:10:44,823
Maybe I should have,
295
00:10:44,892 --> 00:10:46,625
but I just really wanted
Jackie to like me.
296
00:10:46,727 --> 00:10:48,327
But you weren't being yourself.
297
00:10:48,396 --> 00:10:50,462
Oh,
you've never said you liked something
298
00:10:50,598 --> 00:10:52,244
you didn't to impress a girl.
299
00:10:52,299 --> 00:10:53,765
You let me pierce your ear.
300
00:10:53,868 --> 00:10:55,716
I was brave, though, right?
301
00:10:56,424 --> 00:10:57,989
[SCOFFS] I needed your help, Eddie.
302
00:10:58,084 --> 00:11:00,553
This is the first girl I've ever liked.
303
00:11:00,774 --> 00:11:01,973
You're right.
304
00:11:02,075 --> 00:11:04,175
I'm sorry. Let me have a do-over.
305
00:11:04,244 --> 00:11:06,177
We'll go hang out with
Jackie on her lunch break,
306
00:11:06,246 --> 00:11:07,879
and this time, I'll just stay quiet
307
00:11:07,948 --> 00:11:10,048
and be a good wingman like I
should have done last time.
308
00:11:10,150 --> 00:11:11,349
Cool.
309
00:11:11,418 --> 00:11:14,019
But don't order biscotti in
your William Shatner voice.
310
00:11:14,087 --> 00:11:14,986
It's not funny.
311
00:11:15,088 --> 00:11:16,287
"Beam me up, Biscotti"?!
312
00:11:16,356 --> 00:11:17,937
How is that not funny?
313
00:11:20,453 --> 00:11:21,792
You look amazing, Honey.
314
00:11:21,861 --> 00:11:23,694
HONEY: It's definitely low-maintenance,
315
00:11:24,199 --> 00:11:26,063
like one of the house
dresses my grandma wore
316
00:11:26,165 --> 00:11:27,098
when her sunburn peeled.
317
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,566
- [SIGHS]
- Jessica.
318
00:11:28,635 --> 00:11:29,734
Give me your honest opinion.
319
00:11:29,802 --> 00:11:31,168
- What do you think of...
- I can't right now.
320
00:11:31,237 --> 00:11:33,337
I have to go to Hooters to
prove that Louis isn't there
321
00:11:33,373 --> 00:11:34,921
and catch him in his lie, but...
322
00:11:35,227 --> 00:11:37,253
when you're done wearing my curtains,
323
00:11:37,359 --> 00:11:38,442
would you mind [LAUGHING] hanging them
324
00:11:38,544 --> 00:11:39,944
back up before I get back?
325
00:11:40,046 --> 00:11:41,812
[LAUGHS]
326
00:11:43,216 --> 00:11:44,215
[DOOR OPENS]
327
00:11:44,283 --> 00:11:46,267
I think I just have to get used to it.
328
00:11:46,393 --> 00:11:48,352
You know who else just
had to get used to it?
329
00:11:48,420 --> 00:11:50,187
The People's Princess
when she saw herself
330
00:11:50,256 --> 00:11:52,055
in a crown for the first time.
331
00:11:52,814 --> 00:11:54,458
[SIGHS] Charles never understood her.
332
00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:56,026
I mean, how could he?
333
00:11:59,231 --> 00:12:01,664
Hello, Hooter.
I'm looking for my husband.
334
00:12:01,767 --> 00:12:03,233
Oh, what's he look like?
335
00:12:03,335 --> 00:12:05,602
I'm sure to you he looks
like me in a boy-wig,
336
00:12:05,670 --> 00:12:07,337
but if you could take
off your Anglo-goggles
337
00:12:07,439 --> 00:12:08,538
for just one minute,
338
00:12:08,607 --> 00:12:11,674
he's about 5'9", hairless,
but still manly.
339
00:12:11,743 --> 00:12:13,143
And that's what I'm talking about,
you know?
340
00:12:13,245 --> 00:12:15,411
[ALARM BLARING]
341
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:18,014
Mira's here. Quick.
Unlock the back door!
342
00:12:18,083 --> 00:12:20,950
He likes to shuffle his feet
when he finishes sentences.
343
00:12:21,052 --> 00:12:24,087
I'll just look for him myself.
He's probably not here anyway.
344
00:12:26,230 --> 00:12:27,957
[SIGHS]
345
00:12:28,563 --> 00:12:32,629
Kirsten Dunst. Pale.
"Pail" with an "I". Buckets!
346
00:12:32,731 --> 00:12:34,464
[LAUGHTER]
347
00:12:34,566 --> 00:12:36,966
That's so great.
348
00:12:37,635 --> 00:12:38,768
She gets it.
349
00:12:38,836 --> 00:12:40,636
- Anything else?
- I think we're good.
350
00:12:40,705 --> 00:12:43,572
I can't believe you were
really at a Hooters, Louis!
351
00:12:43,608 --> 00:12:45,174
I am so proud of you.
352
00:12:45,243 --> 00:12:47,643
I told you I've outgrown
overextending myself.
353
00:12:47,712 --> 00:12:50,031
Well, go have a great rest of
the night with your friends.
354
00:12:50,189 --> 00:12:50,679
[CHUCKLES]
355
00:12:53,851 --> 00:12:55,017
All right, let's take this party
356
00:12:55,086 --> 00:12:56,752
to a gas station with a slushie machine!
357
00:12:56,854 --> 00:12:57,787
[ALL CHUCKLE]
358
00:12:57,855 --> 00:12:59,321
I wish. Uh, I got to get back home
359
00:12:59,390 --> 00:13:01,591
and relieve Stef with the baby.
360
00:13:02,171 --> 00:13:04,535
I can't remember the last time
we had a night out together.
361
00:13:04,595 --> 00:13:06,728
Oh, no, Sebastian. That's terrible.
362
00:13:06,830 --> 00:13:08,530
Well... Hmm.
363
00:13:08,599 --> 00:13:10,632
Your car is idling a little rough,
Buckets.
364
00:13:10,701 --> 00:13:12,334
Pop the hood. I just need 10 minutes.
365
00:13:12,436 --> 00:13:13,702
BUCKETS: Oh.
366
00:13:15,519 --> 00:13:18,407
Does anybody know why the
Hooters mascot is an owl?
367
00:13:18,509 --> 00:13:22,644
Are... Are the owl's... eyes... boobs?
368
00:13:25,956 --> 00:13:28,816
So, that's the first
time art touched my soul.
369
00:13:28,885 --> 00:13:31,419
Wow. So, what was the second?
370
00:13:31,488 --> 00:13:33,388
That's a better story, actually.
371
00:13:33,490 --> 00:13:35,256
So, I stayed up all night to watch...
372
00:13:35,358 --> 00:13:36,991
[THEME TO "TOP GUN" PLAYS] JESTER:
Get your butts above the hard deck
373
00:13:37,093 --> 00:13:38,593
and return to base immediately.
374
00:13:39,963 --> 00:13:42,780
Tower,
this is Ghost Rider requesting a flyby.
375
00:13:42,927 --> 00:13:44,865
Negative, Ghost Rider.
The pattern is full.
376
00:13:44,967 --> 00:13:46,901
No, no, Mav. This is not a good idea.
377
00:13:46,969 --> 00:13:50,379
Sorry, Goose,
but it's time to buzz the tower.
378
00:13:53,443 --> 00:13:54,508
So I have to drive my little brother
379
00:13:54,610 --> 00:13:56,177
to a Third Eye Blind concert.
380
00:13:56,279 --> 00:13:57,861
Their music sucks.
381
00:13:57,998 --> 00:14:00,081
It so does. I hate Third Eye Blind.
382
00:14:00,749 --> 00:14:03,216
Wait. I thought the other
night you said you liked them.
383
00:14:03,318 --> 00:14:05,385
Um... no.
384
00:14:05,487 --> 00:14:06,920
I-I said that ironically.
385
00:14:07,022 --> 00:14:09,389
Uh, like I s-say how I like French.
[CHUCKLES]
386
00:14:09,458 --> 00:14:11,258
So you don't like French?
387
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,026
No. What? I do.
388
00:14:13,128 --> 00:14:15,429
Brain fart. [CHUCKLES]
389
00:14:16,365 --> 00:14:18,732
I should go. Andrew is slammed.
390
00:14:18,801 --> 00:14:21,468
"Son, you have no future in art."
391
00:14:21,850 --> 00:14:24,203
Well, Mom, how do you explain this?!
392
00:14:26,742 --> 00:14:27,941
[SIGHS]
393
00:14:30,979 --> 00:14:33,113
That's right, Iceman. I am dangerous!
394
00:14:33,215 --> 00:14:34,214
What happened?
395
00:14:34,283 --> 00:14:35,782
Where's Jackie?
396
00:14:37,966 --> 00:14:39,447
You and Stef have fun.
397
00:14:39,532 --> 00:14:42,422
? Rollin' with my homies ?
398
00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:46,125
You only get one chance to catch
the judges' eye, Mackenzie.
399
00:14:46,194 --> 00:14:47,760
? Rollin' with my homies ?
400
00:14:47,829 --> 00:14:48,728
? Sippin' yak all night ?
401
00:14:48,830 --> 00:14:51,397
You see, Lucas, women have a flower,
402
00:14:51,466 --> 00:14:54,500
and men have a watering can, or penis.
403
00:14:55,204 --> 00:14:57,236
? Rollin' with my homies ?
404
00:14:57,305 --> 00:14:58,671
? Sippin' yak all night ?
405
00:14:59,626 --> 00:15:02,041
Any mother of Matthew's
is a mother of mine.
406
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:04,177
? And it's all right ?
407
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:06,379
? Rollin' with my homies ?
408
00:15:06,481 --> 00:15:07,747
? Sippin' yak all night ?
409
00:15:07,849 --> 00:15:08,948
? Yeah ?
410
00:15:09,017 --> 00:15:10,149
? I got us on the way in the C-B-T ?
411
00:15:10,251 --> 00:15:11,351
Ohh!
412
00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:12,618
? And it's all right ?
413
00:15:12,721 --> 00:15:14,020
Ohh!
414
00:15:16,057 --> 00:15:17,790
Your blood pressure is perfect,
415
00:15:17,892 --> 00:15:19,725
and your lung health is strong.
416
00:15:19,827 --> 00:15:22,128
You are in excellent shape, Seb.
417
00:15:22,230 --> 00:15:23,796
Just, uh, promise me you'll lay off
418
00:15:23,898 --> 00:15:25,097
those Keebler Fudge Stripes.
419
00:15:25,199 --> 00:15:26,699
Hey, I don't make promises I can't keep.
420
00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:27,800
[LAUGHING] Okay! [BOTH LAUGH]
421
00:15:27,902 --> 00:15:29,001
I do think I should take a look
422
00:15:29,103 --> 00:15:30,803
at your friend who gave you a ride here,
though.
423
00:15:30,905 --> 00:15:31,871
Oh. He has, uh,
424
00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:33,272
clearly slipped a disc.
425
00:15:33,374 --> 00:15:35,574
I'm sorry it's a little
dirty down there.
426
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,777
I can clean it for you.
427
00:15:42,152 --> 00:15:43,325
[GROANS] Don't cry.
428
00:15:43,399 --> 00:15:45,004
Do not cry!
429
00:15:46,090 --> 00:15:47,089
Hey, muffin!
430
00:15:48,192 --> 00:15:50,492
"Muffin"? Did you just make that up?
431
00:15:50,561 --> 00:15:51,627
Oh, I love that!
432
00:15:51,729 --> 00:15:53,762
[LAUGHING] Oh, my God!
433
00:15:53,864 --> 00:15:55,530
Muffin! [LAUGHS]
434
00:15:57,701 --> 00:15:59,134
[EXHALES]
435
00:16:01,472 --> 00:16:03,138
We can still fix this. What should I do?
436
00:16:03,207 --> 00:16:05,142
What can I say to make Jackie like me?
437
00:16:05,275 --> 00:16:07,075
Nicole, you can't make someone like you.
438
00:16:07,144 --> 00:16:08,643
I just don't know what to say anymore.
439
00:16:08,712 --> 00:16:10,845
I keep telling her these things
I think she wants to hear,
440
00:16:10,947 --> 00:16:12,047
but nothing is working.
441
00:16:12,149 --> 00:16:13,615
Because it's not real.
442
00:16:14,609 --> 00:16:15,911
You got to be yourself.
443
00:16:16,060 --> 00:16:18,731
You're awesome,
and if you show Jackie the real you,
444
00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:20,496
she'll think so, too.
445
00:16:23,893 --> 00:16:24,826
Yeah.
446
00:16:27,397 --> 00:16:29,764
[COCKNEY ACCENT] Cheerio.
Welcome to the Tower of London,
447
00:16:29,866 --> 00:16:30,765
ya old booz-ah!
448
00:16:30,867 --> 00:16:32,967
Go grind some beans, Andrew.
449
00:16:33,036 --> 00:16:34,535
I'm really busy, Nicole.
450
00:16:34,637 --> 00:16:36,237
I don't speak French. [CHUCKLES]
451
00:16:36,306 --> 00:16:38,673
I'm super into Third Eye Blind.
452
00:16:38,741 --> 00:16:41,075
I saw them when they opened for Oasis.
453
00:16:41,144 --> 00:16:44,355
I will never see "Life is Beautiful."
454
00:16:44,580 --> 00:16:48,449
But most importantly,
I absolutely, balls to the wall,
455
00:16:48,551 --> 00:16:50,184
love Jim Carrey.
456
00:16:50,286 --> 00:16:51,652
"Dumb and Dumber" is the funniest movie
457
00:16:51,721 --> 00:16:53,087
I've ever seen in my life.
458
00:16:53,122 --> 00:16:55,989
I lied to you about all of that stuff
459
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:58,726
s-so... so you'd like me.
460
00:16:59,194 --> 00:17:01,009
Because I really like you.
461
00:17:04,433 --> 00:17:06,166
I'm sorry, Nicole.
462
00:17:06,235 --> 00:17:07,968
I can get over the other things,
463
00:17:08,036 --> 00:17:11,404
but I can't be with someone
who just speaks one language.
464
00:17:11,473 --> 00:17:14,040
Call me if you decide
to expand your borders.
465
00:17:14,109 --> 00:17:15,742
There's a whole world out there.
466
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:20,280
[SIGHS]
467
00:17:21,282 --> 00:17:22,314
I'm so sorry.
468
00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:23,883
That did not go how I thought it would.
469
00:17:23,985 --> 00:17:25,366
Actually...
470
00:17:26,455 --> 00:17:27,620
it's fine.
471
00:17:27,689 --> 00:17:29,355
- Really?
- You were right.
472
00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:31,357
I've spent such a long time pretending
473
00:17:31,459 --> 00:17:32,992
to be someone I'm not.
474
00:17:33,061 --> 00:17:35,594
And I'm not gonna start that again now.
475
00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:37,797
You really are awesome, Nicole.
476
00:17:37,865 --> 00:17:39,365
And don't worry.
477
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,967
Nobody ever winds up with
the first girl they like.
478
00:17:42,036 --> 00:17:43,235
Look at your dad.
479
00:17:43,337 --> 00:17:44,904
Okay, Eddie.
480
00:17:45,474 --> 00:17:47,373
I have 8:51. What do you have?
481
00:17:51,045 --> 00:17:51,943
What are you wearing?
482
00:17:52,012 --> 00:17:53,278
It's the maternity dress we bought.
483
00:17:53,347 --> 00:17:55,547
It just needed a little help
from my old friend Janome.
484
00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:57,749
That's a sewing-machine brand.
485
00:17:57,818 --> 00:17:59,818
The whole point was to
get you a simpler look
486
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:02,154
so you'd be on time.
487
00:18:02,256 --> 00:18:03,955
I have 8:52 now!
488
00:18:04,024 --> 00:18:05,557
It'll get better when
I alter all the dresses
489
00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:08,794
because my hair only
takes me 10 minutes now.
490
00:18:08,862 --> 00:18:10,829
I'm getting hours of my life back,
491
00:18:10,898 --> 00:18:12,097
and it's thanks to you guys.
492
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,701
That's great, Honey.
We're happy for you.
493
00:18:16,770 --> 00:18:19,370
I guess it is nice helping
a person improve their life.
494
00:18:19,472 --> 00:18:21,406
Come on.
495
00:18:22,097 --> 00:18:24,008
We're gonna quit inviting her places,
right?
496
00:18:24,110 --> 00:18:25,310
She's out. 100%.
497
00:18:27,180 --> 00:18:28,346
[GRUNTS]
498
00:18:35,221 --> 00:18:37,021
You've been doing a
child's science projt!
499
00:18:37,123 --> 00:18:38,389
And don't say Evan!
500
00:18:38,458 --> 00:18:41,225
I know he thinks glitter is a
distraction from quality work.
501
00:18:41,294 --> 00:18:44,483
No, the glitter is from a
Hooters waitress, I swear.
502
00:18:44,630 --> 00:18:46,230
You slipped a disc.
503
00:18:46,298 --> 00:18:47,631
[SCOFFS] I didn't!
504
00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:50,768
Then get up and walk to me.
505
00:18:50,836 --> 00:18:53,137
[WESTERN-THEMED MUSIC PLAYS]
506
00:18:59,344 --> 00:19:01,545
Why do you always do this?
507
00:19:01,647 --> 00:19:02,913
I don't know.
508
00:19:02,981 --> 00:19:05,615
I just want people to
want to be my friend.
509
00:19:05,684 --> 00:19:07,250
Well, they do.
510
00:19:07,286 --> 00:19:09,519
But not because you do stuff for them.
511
00:19:10,401 --> 00:19:12,722
Because they just like you.
512
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:15,942
You're a good person and a good friend.
513
00:19:16,354 --> 00:19:17,460
LOUIS: [THINKING] Marvin!
514
00:19:18,894 --> 00:19:22,241
I know my buddy Lou will
be here any minute now.
515
00:19:24,781 --> 00:19:26,970
You just have to learn
how to strike a balance.
516
00:19:27,445 --> 00:19:30,506
When you try to do too many
things for too many people,
517
00:19:30,575 --> 00:19:32,809
you end up neglecting
the ones closest to...
518
00:19:32,911 --> 00:19:35,244
You are not listening to me, are you?
519
00:19:36,696 --> 00:19:40,016
Where does this compulsion to
help people come from, Louis?
520
00:19:40,084 --> 00:19:41,884
It has to come from somewhere.
521
00:19:41,986 --> 00:19:43,252
Okay.
522
00:19:43,821 --> 00:19:46,288
When I was in third grade,
my friend Sam asked me
523
00:19:46,357 --> 00:19:49,325
to take care of his parrot,
Lulu, while he was on vacation.
524
00:19:49,427 --> 00:19:51,827
I was so excited because
I never had a pet before.
525
00:19:51,896 --> 00:19:54,797
Sam told me that it
was important that Lulu
526
00:19:54,899 --> 00:19:57,633
finished all her meals
because she was on antibiotics
527
00:19:57,702 --> 00:20:00,169
and how it would be
best if I hand-fed her.
528
00:20:00,237 --> 00:20:02,871
Well,
it took some time for Lulu to trust me,
529
00:20:02,973 --> 00:20:04,673
but when Sam got back from Bimini...
530
00:20:04,775 --> 00:20:06,041
What does this have to do with anything?
531
00:20:06,143 --> 00:20:08,043
Nothing! I made it up.
532
00:20:08,112 --> 00:20:09,678
I could tell that you
wanted an origin story,
533
00:20:09,780 --> 00:20:11,480
and I wanted to give you one
because I liked that you needed
534
00:20:11,582 --> 00:20:12,548
that from me. [SIGHS]
535
00:20:12,650 --> 00:20:14,717
Why was Lulu on antibiotics?
536
00:20:14,819 --> 00:20:17,256
I like being "the guy," okay?
537
00:20:17,588 --> 00:20:20,155
The guy who people call
when they need something,
538
00:20:20,257 --> 00:20:22,324
the guy who's always around.
539
00:20:22,426 --> 00:20:23,825
I like to be needed.
540
00:20:23,894 --> 00:20:26,761
Sometimes all people need
from you is your friendship.
541
00:20:26,830 --> 00:20:28,864
Hey, buddy, you hardly help me at all,
542
00:20:28,966 --> 00:20:30,131
and I love hanging out with you.
543
00:20:30,234 --> 00:20:32,300
I just drove you round-trip
to the Tampa airport
544
00:20:32,402 --> 00:20:35,049
because it was cheaper
than flying out of Orlando.
545
00:20:35,329 --> 00:20:37,688
I love being by the beach. [SNIFFS]
546
00:20:43,182 --> 00:20:45,867
Looks like I got to repaint my rec room.
547
00:20:45,982 --> 00:20:46,917
Let me tell you something...
548
00:20:47,019 --> 00:20:49,686
Never paint a family
space with a flat finish.
549
00:20:49,789 --> 00:20:52,156
Fingerprints show up like
stars in a Montana sky.
550
00:20:52,258 --> 00:20:53,590
And I can't just paint one wall
551
00:20:53,692 --> 00:20:55,426
'cause then it'll be
brighter than all the others.
552
00:20:55,528 --> 00:20:57,653
Matthew, I will not repaint
your rec room for you.
553
00:20:58,049 --> 00:20:59,582
I didn't think you would.
554
00:20:59,747 --> 00:21:01,462
I hired painters.
555
00:21:01,743 --> 00:21:03,738
You still want to be friends with me?
556
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:05,569
Of course! Yeah!
557
00:21:05,671 --> 00:21:07,934
Me and the guys love
hanging out with you...
558
00:21:08,231 --> 00:21:09,248
Dogwood.
559
00:21:09,913 --> 00:21:10,549
A nickname?
560
00:21:10,651 --> 00:21:11,750
Yeah.
561
00:21:11,852 --> 00:21:16,588
Slipped disc. Disc. Frisbee.
Dog. Tree. Dogwood.
562
00:21:16,690 --> 00:21:17,756
You earned it!
563
00:21:17,858 --> 00:21:18,957
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
564
00:21:19,059 --> 00:21:21,460
Just do not tell Gabe.
He'll jump off a bridge.
565
00:21:21,959 --> 00:21:22,684
Oh.
566
00:21:22,816 --> 00:21:24,383
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
567
00:21:24,433 --> 00:21:28,983
Repair and Synchronization by
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