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1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:01,297
Hey.
2
00:00:01,298 --> 00:00:04,539
Sir, your wife is very drunk.
We've had to remove her
3
00:00:04,540 --> 00:00:08,139
from our establishment, so now she's
on the streets, like rubbish.
4
00:00:08,140 --> 00:00:11,199
- Jesus! Fucking open your eyes!
- (HORN BLARES)
5
00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:12,819
Oh, my God!
6
00:00:12,820 --> 00:00:15,062
(TYRES SQUEAL)
7
00:00:15,064 --> 00:00:16,608
Oh, my God, Rob!
8
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:18,367
They're gonna give me a breathalyser.
9
00:00:18,369 --> 00:00:19,587
What... What?
10
00:00:20,304 --> 00:00:21,939
I'm not gonna pass it.
11
00:00:21,940 --> 00:00:23,259
What?
12
00:00:23,260 --> 00:00:24,930
(HE SOBS)
13
00:00:24,932 --> 00:00:26,264
I'm sorry!
14
00:00:26,265 --> 00:00:28,419
(SIREN WAILS)
15
00:00:28,420 --> 00:00:32,259
Your offence showed brazen disregard
for the safety of others.
16
00:00:32,882 --> 00:00:36,701
While you claim custody would
be distressing for you,
17
00:00:36,702 --> 00:00:40,338
incarceration is the only
appropriate response.
18
00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:42,890
Your sentence is one of
six months' imprisonment.
19
00:00:44,015 --> 00:00:45,398
You may go down.
20
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:47,099
(MURMUR OF CONVERSATION)
21
00:00:47,100 --> 00:00:50,579
Judge Hickey will preside in
the case of Robert Norris...
22
00:00:51,265 --> 00:00:53,659
You're up. Go on!
23
00:00:53,660 --> 00:00:56,120
...the Road Traffic Act 1991.
24
00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:58,713
- Zip your fly.
- What?
25
00:00:58,715 --> 00:01:01,476
- Your fly's undone. Zip your fly.
- OK, no, it's no problem.
26
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,659
Following Mr Norris's
arrest, blood was taken,
27
00:01:06,660 --> 00:01:09,339
and he was found to be 40
milligrams over the limit,
28
00:01:09,340 --> 00:01:12,377
- the limit being 80.
- Mr Norris?
29
00:01:12,378 --> 00:01:16,419
- Judge Hickey.
- Call me "sir". We're not in Kansas.
30
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,819
Sir Hickey, when I was six years old,
31
00:01:19,820 --> 00:01:21,324
I watched my father.
32
00:01:21,326 --> 00:01:23,963
We don't have time for your
autobiography, Mr Norris.
33
00:01:23,964 --> 00:01:26,159
Right. May I approach the bench?
34
00:01:26,808 --> 00:01:28,339
I don't see a bench.
35
00:01:28,996 --> 00:01:33,520
OK. I accept full responsibility
for my misdemeanour...
36
00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:40,307
crime. Er, but this incident was
entirely out of character for me.
37
00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:44,815
I was in a very difficult place
emotionally, Your Honour, sir,
38
00:01:44,816 --> 00:01:50,260
as it had not been long
since I found out that, er,
39
00:01:50,261 --> 00:01:52,285
my wife had...
40
00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:57,289
masturbated off a young
student, a college boy,
41
00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,911
on the roof of a nightclub.
42
00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:04,038
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
43
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:07,899
I'm sorry. I just thought if I could
deflect some of the stink onto you,
44
00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:10,059
300 years ago, if you'd
have pulled that crap,
45
00:02:10,060 --> 00:02:13,898
I'm the one who would've been sent
down, with a scarlet letter on me.
46
00:02:13,899 --> 00:02:16,493
300 years ago you were
SUPPOSED to drive drunk.
47
00:02:16,494 --> 00:02:19,493
- What, and you're Muireann?
- You're Muireann.
48
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:21,940
Do you wanna drive?
49
00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:24,392
Oh, shit, sorry. Forgot.
50
00:02:24,393 --> 00:02:28,179
Not allowed to, because you're
a drunk driver and a fugitive.
51
00:02:28,180 --> 00:02:30,779
I'm not a fugitive. I turned myself in!
52
00:02:30,780 --> 00:02:32,003
(SHE LAUGHS)
53
00:02:32,005 --> 00:02:33,859
You didn't turn yourself in!
54
00:02:33,860 --> 00:02:36,419
If you could've run away from
the scene of the accident,
55
00:02:36,420 --> 00:02:38,518
I'm a hundred percent
confident you would've.
56
00:02:38,519 --> 00:02:40,299
You wish you were a fugitive.
57
00:02:40,301 --> 00:02:42,579
You were arrested, so you're a criminal.
58
00:02:43,048 --> 00:02:44,963
A criminal in a neck brace.
59
00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:46,520
What a fucking catch!
60
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,978
I mean, I feel like I'm under
surveillance with Sharon now.
61
00:02:52,979 --> 00:02:55,379
You know. It's, like, I never
had much privacy before,
62
00:02:55,380 --> 00:02:58,459
- but now it's, like, Stasi level.
- What's Stasi?
63
00:02:58,460 --> 00:03:01,259
- East German secret police.
- Well, at least she gives a shit.
64
00:03:01,260 --> 00:03:03,859
Most women would've flown
the coop after that stunt.
65
00:03:03,860 --> 00:03:06,962
That's true. But it's still... menacing.
66
00:03:06,963 --> 00:03:08,213
And you haven't drunk since?
67
00:03:08,215 --> 00:03:09,462
- No.
- Why not?
68
00:03:09,463 --> 00:03:12,548
What's changed, other than that
pussy magnet round your neck?
69
00:03:12,549 --> 00:03:14,459
Honestly, the only thing that's changed
70
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:17,298
is that I now know that my
drinking could kill someone
71
00:03:17,299 --> 00:03:20,126
other than myself. I mean, I
didn't care if I got hurt,
72
00:03:20,127 --> 00:03:23,946
but I don't wanna kill any
civilian bystanders or my kids.
73
00:03:23,947 --> 00:03:25,659
You might not have cared
if you'd got hurt,
74
00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:27,845
but did you think about how
lonely I'd have been without you,
75
00:03:27,846 --> 00:03:29,518
you fat cunt?
76
00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:31,459
Can we talk about
anything other than me?
77
00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:33,260
With pleasure. Let's talk about me.
78
00:03:33,262 --> 00:03:34,539
How's your new girlfriend?
79
00:03:34,540 --> 00:03:35,978
Oh, I dunno, mate.
80
00:03:35,979 --> 00:03:37,479
It's moving at warp speed over here.
81
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,059
She wants to move in. Got us a
family membership at the gym,
82
00:03:40,060 --> 00:03:42,419
which was, like, "Whoa, there, Nelly!"
83
00:03:42,420 --> 00:03:43,596
What's her name?
84
00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:45,339
- Nelly.
- Really?
85
00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:47,699
No, it's Tanya. Hey,
do you wanna meet her?
86
00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:50,139
- What you doing this weekend?
- I have community service
87
00:03:50,140 --> 00:03:53,899
for the next 215 weekends,
in a fucking charity shop.
88
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:56,139
Christ. It's humiliating.
89
00:03:56,140 --> 00:03:57,188
Yeah.
90
00:03:57,190 --> 00:03:59,499
It's probably less humiliating than
having to ask a judge's permission
91
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:00,931
to go to your wife's funeral
92
00:04:00,932 --> 00:04:03,158
because you backed over
her in the driveway.
93
00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:05,680
- Yeah.
- OK. Have a great weekend.
94
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,240
(HORN BLARES)
95
00:04:19,548 --> 00:04:22,178
- How'd you even know I was here?
- You told me.
96
00:04:22,180 --> 00:04:24,775
It was in your calendar.
I forget. Who cares?
97
00:04:26,729 --> 00:04:30,099
Honey, I'm on probation from the state,
98
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:32,000
and they're doing a pretty good job.
99
00:04:32,660 --> 00:04:35,499
I'm accounted for. You
need to stop following me.
100
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:39,126
Don't say it like that, like I'm
obsessed with you or something.
101
00:04:39,127 --> 00:04:40,844
This isn't Fatal Attraction.
102
00:04:40,846 --> 00:04:43,829
There's 25 pubs between
here and our house
103
00:04:43,830 --> 00:04:47,126
that I can't trust you to walk past
because you're a secret alcoholic.
104
00:04:47,127 --> 00:04:50,339
I'm not a secret alcoholic. I
told you that the night we met.
105
00:04:50,340 --> 00:04:52,477
OK, then. A lying alcoholic.
106
00:04:52,479 --> 00:04:55,058
This is inconvenient
for me too, you know.
107
00:04:55,060 --> 00:04:57,539
Seriously, why are there
so many pubs around here?
108
00:04:57,540 --> 00:05:00,499
Don't they have zoning laws?
It's, like, pub, JD Sports,
109
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:05,539
pub, bike shop, pub, William
Hill, pub, Pret, pub,
110
00:05:05,540 --> 00:05:08,680
Pret, Pret, pub, Pret...
111
00:05:11,768 --> 00:05:14,807
So, how did you guys get into the whole
112
00:05:14,809 --> 00:05:17,899
cerebral-palsy charity scene?
113
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,939
- My daughter has cerebral palsy.
- Oh! Oh, great.
114
00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:24,960
- Er, I mean, it makes sense that...
- I have cerebral palsy.
115
00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:30,267
Hey, have guys ever seen
Last Comic Standing?
116
00:05:30,268 --> 00:05:31,690
Do you guys watch that show?
117
00:05:31,692 --> 00:05:34,603
A cerebral-palsy guy did that,
118
00:05:34,604 --> 00:05:39,274
and he won the whole thing,
because, as you know,
119
00:05:39,275 --> 00:05:41,360
people with cerebral
palsy can do anything.
120
00:05:41,361 --> 00:05:42,830
I can't drive.
121
00:05:43,783 --> 00:05:46,294
Well... neither can I!
122
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,240
(BACKGROUND CHATTER)
123
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:54,339
Yeah!
124
00:05:54,340 --> 00:05:56,339
(SHE SIGHS)
125
00:05:57,140 --> 00:05:59,980
Any chance I can put my
appropriate-weight son on there?
126
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:03,619
Fuck's sake.
127
00:06:03,620 --> 00:06:06,819
Play on the slide instead. Go on there.
128
00:06:06,820 --> 00:06:09,440
(SHE SIGHS)
129
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:16,800
(PHONE RINGS)
130
00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:24,419
Hello! Cerebral palsy... busters.
131
00:06:24,420 --> 00:06:25,919
Do you wanna take us for lunch?
132
00:06:25,921 --> 00:06:27,465
I need a drink.
133
00:06:27,466 --> 00:06:31,299
I dunno if I can. They run
kind of a tight ship here.
134
00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:33,254
Nothing happens in charity shops.
135
00:06:33,255 --> 00:06:34,987
Just ask them if you can pop to Greggs
136
00:06:34,989 --> 00:06:36,574
for a fucking sausage roll.
137
00:06:36,575 --> 00:06:39,519
- I had Greggs for breakfast.
- What? You had breakfast at home.
138
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:42,379
- Yeah, but then I passed one, so...
- "Just ask them!"
139
00:06:42,380 --> 00:06:44,360
OK! Jesus. Hang on.
140
00:06:46,177 --> 00:06:50,019
Sorry. Um, excuse me. Hi. Um,
that's my wife on the phone,
141
00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:52,539
and she's wondering
when my lunch hour is,
142
00:06:52,540 --> 00:06:56,219
- cos she's on her own with the kids.
- Oh, we don't take a lunch break.
143
00:06:56,220 --> 00:07:00,536
We just bring sandwiches in, in
case there's a lunchtime rush.
144
00:07:03,067 --> 00:07:04,400
OK.
145
00:07:05,802 --> 00:07:08,168
Yeah. It's not happening.
146
00:07:08,169 --> 00:07:10,739
Listen, why don't you take the
kids somewhere nice for lunch...
147
00:07:10,740 --> 00:07:13,684
- you know, treat yourself?
- Yeah! OK.
148
00:07:13,685 --> 00:07:15,779
Because, as we both know,
lunch somewhere nice
149
00:07:15,780 --> 00:07:18,139
with two loud, dirty children
under the age of four
150
00:07:18,140 --> 00:07:19,491
is a real fucking treat.
151
00:07:19,493 --> 00:07:20,504
See you at home.
152
00:07:20,505 --> 00:07:23,207
- I have my AA meeting tonight.
- Again?!
153
00:07:23,208 --> 00:07:26,099
Well, I mean, you don't really
graduate from alcoholism.
154
00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:29,739
So I'm supposed to watch Game Of
Thrones on my own, like a pervert?
155
00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:31,347
- Well, I...
- Fine.
156
00:07:31,349 --> 00:07:33,303
If anything designer
gets donated by mistake,
157
00:07:33,305 --> 00:07:35,445
put it aside for me, OK? Bye.
158
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,608
Have you thought about a bit of therapy?
159
00:07:43,610 --> 00:07:45,036
We've thought about it,
160
00:07:45,037 --> 00:07:48,326
but we don't really wanna hear
our terrible problems out loud.
161
00:07:48,327 --> 00:07:51,208
Chris always likened
therapy to taking a shit.
162
00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:54,019
Better to do it in the therapist's
office than stink up your own home.
163
00:07:54,857 --> 00:07:56,920
I can only shit at home.
164
00:07:56,922 --> 00:07:59,771
Well, whatever works for you.
165
00:07:59,773 --> 00:08:02,668
Can't be easy being
married to a criminal.
166
00:08:02,670 --> 00:08:05,465
- Where's Jeffrey today?
- He's moved out,
167
00:08:05,466 --> 00:08:06,808
and moved in with Chris.
168
00:08:06,810 --> 00:08:08,579
Turned down a role in a Vin Diesel movie
169
00:08:08,580 --> 00:08:11,779
- to do Twelfth Night at the theatre.
- God, that's rough.
170
00:08:11,780 --> 00:08:14,864
- I'm sorry to hear that.
- We fell out.
171
00:08:14,865 --> 00:08:18,974
But I'm quite happy on my
own in my bachelorette pad.
172
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:22,981
I haven't put a bra on
before 4:00 PM all week.
173
00:08:22,982 --> 00:08:24,880
(SHE CHUCKLES)
174
00:08:45,998 --> 00:08:47,838
Hello!
175
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,139
- Rob, right?
- Hi.
176
00:08:50,140 --> 00:08:52,939
- Thank you for...
- Oh, finish your biscuit.
177
00:08:52,940 --> 00:08:54,207
- (HE GRUNTS)
178
00:08:54,209 --> 00:08:57,222
- Just, er, wanted to say that...
179
00:08:57,224 --> 00:08:59,019
I realised, what you were
sharing about your accident,
180
00:08:59,020 --> 00:09:01,899
that I was there! On Redchurch Street.
181
00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:04,099
- I was actually there that night.
- You were there?
182
00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:07,098
Yeah! I'm so relieved you're OK.
183
00:09:07,099 --> 00:09:09,739
I'm... not telling you
this to make you feel bad,
184
00:09:09,740 --> 00:09:13,036
but, um, I had to go to the
hospital too that night.
185
00:09:13,037 --> 00:09:16,419
I got... some of your
windscreen in my leg.
186
00:09:16,420 --> 00:09:19,179
Some glass splintered and cut
me, if you can believe it.
187
00:09:19,180 --> 00:09:22,819
I had no idea anyone
else... I'm so sorry!
188
00:09:22,820 --> 00:09:26,474
Don't worry about it! I'm just
glad you found your way here.
189
00:09:26,475 --> 00:09:29,676
A lot of people don't. For me,
it was losing my husband.
190
00:09:29,677 --> 00:09:32,044
He died five years ago next week.
191
00:09:32,045 --> 00:09:33,899
I was blacked out as usual.
192
00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:36,179
They think I probably
knocked over a candle.
193
00:09:36,180 --> 00:09:39,379
They got me out, the firemen, but
they didn't reach him in time.
194
00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:40,584
Oh, God!
195
00:09:41,505 --> 00:09:42,817
Jesus, I'm sorry.
196
00:09:42,818 --> 00:09:44,899
Oh, thank you, love.
197
00:09:44,900 --> 00:09:47,019
Oh, yeah! And you said in your share
198
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,499
that you've been listening
to a lot of Radiohead.
199
00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:52,099
- (SHE TUTS)
- Try to get better, OK,
200
00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:55,440
not wank off to your little
man-feelings. See you next week.
201
00:10:07,380 --> 00:10:08,942
Jesus!
202
00:10:08,943 --> 00:10:12,298
So, was he, like, cooked,
or was it smoke inhalation?
203
00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:14,699
I dunno. I'll ask her next time.
204
00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:17,259
So, what age is she?
What's she look like?
205
00:10:17,260 --> 00:10:20,299
Er, 35, 60.
206
00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:22,539
She looks sorta mousy.
207
00:10:22,540 --> 00:10:24,379
Mouse-like?
208
00:10:24,380 --> 00:10:26,939
She looked like she was
transforming into a mouse,
209
00:10:26,940 --> 00:10:29,219
and then got interrupted mid-spell.
210
00:10:29,220 --> 00:10:32,419
Wow! So, you've been
thinking about her a lot?
211
00:10:32,420 --> 00:10:35,019
Well, it's just... I feel responsible.
212
00:10:35,020 --> 00:10:37,219
There's probably a statute
of limitations anyway.
213
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:39,859
It's not a rape. She just cut her leg.
214
00:10:39,860 --> 00:10:43,499
If she was hurt, then, of course
we should help her in some way.
215
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:46,219
All I'm saying is, was she really hurt?
216
00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:49,299
- She had to go to the hospital.
- Had to? Come on.
217
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:52,979
And also, you know, you go out 11:30
on a Saturday night in London,
218
00:10:52,980 --> 00:10:55,419
you might get some glass in your leg,
219
00:10:55,420 --> 00:10:57,440
so whose fault is it really?
220
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:05,120
I think we've seen it all now, yeah?
Let's go and get some nosh...
221
00:11:05,737 --> 00:11:08,899
- What?
- Can I have this?
222
00:11:08,900 --> 00:11:10,058
Don't you have one of those?
223
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,780
- No.
- Gimme a look.
224
00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:17,760
Oh, come on!
225
00:11:18,791 --> 00:11:21,379
Let's have a look in that bin!
226
00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:24,299
Look at those guys, huh?
227
00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:25,800
What about this little fella?
228
00:11:26,580 --> 00:11:27,940
I want Daddy.
229
00:11:28,700 --> 00:11:30,720
(SHE SIGHS)
230
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:48,240
Gimme a look at it. What's that?
231
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:57,819
- Hello.
- Can I get this? - Yeah.
232
00:11:57,820 --> 00:12:00,160
Thank you.
233
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:21,640
(HE SIGHS)
234
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,779
Excuse me. We're gonna be
closing soon, and... Oh, hey!
235
00:12:25,780 --> 00:12:26,855
Amanda?
236
00:12:26,857 --> 00:12:28,739
I was just at physio around the corner,
237
00:12:28,740 --> 00:12:31,019
and I remembered you saying
you were working here.
238
00:12:31,020 --> 00:12:34,459
Thought I'd drop in and
say hi, and get this.
239
00:12:34,460 --> 00:12:38,019
Oh, just so you know, I
inventoried that earlier,
240
00:12:38,020 --> 00:12:42,142
and somebody's replaced the
bishops with Monopoly hotels.
241
00:12:42,143 --> 00:12:45,859
I guess just remember, bishop,
hotel, and you should be fine.
242
00:12:45,860 --> 00:12:47,520
(SHE LAUGHS)
243
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:50,640
A plastic bag...
244
00:12:52,374 --> 00:12:54,374
You look stressed.
245
00:12:55,167 --> 00:12:58,499
Um, it's just... you know, I feel guilty
246
00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:01,459
that my wife is looking after
the kids, and I'm here,
247
00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:03,028
folding doilies.
248
00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:06,139
Well, look, think about it this way.
249
00:13:06,140 --> 00:13:09,508
At least you didn't burn your house
down while your husband was in it.
250
00:13:10,471 --> 00:13:12,259
- Wow!
- I'm joking.
251
00:13:12,260 --> 00:13:14,659
I mean, I'm not joking. That happened.
252
00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:17,697
But I always think, "What
would God want me to do?"
253
00:13:17,698 --> 00:13:19,979
Flagellate myself in my basement
for the rest of my life,
254
00:13:19,980 --> 00:13:24,626
or come to places like this
and help people like you?
255
00:13:24,628 --> 00:13:27,139
You have to forgive
yourself. I forgive you!
256
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,339
(SHE CHUCKLES)
257
00:13:29,340 --> 00:13:31,042
- Oh, I...
- Are you OK?
258
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,205
I'm sorry. Yes.
259
00:13:32,206 --> 00:13:35,259
Just... a little dizzy.
260
00:13:35,260 --> 00:13:38,739
Skipped lunch earlier, and between
that and my leg, I, er...
261
00:13:38,740 --> 00:13:42,419
Could you... possibly... walk me home?
262
00:13:42,420 --> 00:13:44,611
- It... It's really not far.
- I...
263
00:13:45,253 --> 00:13:47,259
Could I call you a taxi instead?
264
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:50,721
It's just I've been gone all
day. I really need to get home.
265
00:13:50,722 --> 00:13:54,299
No. It's OK. I... I get carsick.
266
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,840
It... It is fine. I'll manage.
267
00:14:00,253 --> 00:14:02,893
- Bishop, hotel.
- (SHE LAUGHS)
268
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:22,924
(DOOR CLICKS)
269
00:14:22,925 --> 00:14:25,659
- What were you doing in Dalston?
- What?
270
00:14:25,660 --> 00:14:28,699
Did you go drinking? Did you
go drinking under the bridge?
271
00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:32,739
No! The lady with the limp
asked me to walk her home.
272
00:14:32,740 --> 00:14:35,179
You walked the
glass-in-her-leg lady home?
273
00:14:35,180 --> 00:14:36,984
- Well, I couldn't say no.
- Oh, my God.
274
00:14:36,986 --> 00:14:38,338
Her leg was hurting.
275
00:14:38,339 --> 00:14:41,705
- What do you want me to do?
- I want you to stop farting your guilt
276
00:14:41,706 --> 00:14:44,744
onto some lady, who's taking
you for a ride, by the way.
277
00:14:44,745 --> 00:14:47,219
I can feel it. Seriously, you
need to get some advice on this,
278
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,003
because this is gonna end badly.
279
00:14:49,005 --> 00:14:50,345
You need to talk to a lawyer.
280
00:14:50,346 --> 00:14:52,779
Get them to send a
cease-and-desist letter.
281
00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:56,139
Cease and desist from
asking me to walk her home?
282
00:14:56,140 --> 00:14:59,315
Do not get caught up in her shit, Rob!
283
00:14:59,317 --> 00:15:01,417
- Don't go there again!
- Fine!
284
00:15:01,419 --> 00:15:05,455
Seriously, why am I dragging
kids around fucking museums
285
00:15:05,456 --> 00:15:07,564
when you're working as an escort?
286
00:15:07,565 --> 00:15:09,827
Honestly, it'd be easier if you just...
287
00:15:09,828 --> 00:15:12,565
lived in China than this shit.
288
00:15:12,567 --> 00:15:14,179
Spend what little time you have,
289
00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:17,099
when you're not getting arrested
or having probation hearings
290
00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:19,459
- with your family.
- She's a fucking fire widow
291
00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:22,459
that I injured in a car accident
I'm trying to help out,
292
00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:25,899
and who has a shaving of sympathy
for what I'm going through.
293
00:15:25,900 --> 00:15:29,447
- Oh, please!
- How did you know I was in Dalston?
294
00:15:29,448 --> 00:15:31,791
- Find my phone.
- What?
295
00:15:31,792 --> 00:15:35,447
- The app thing.
- You need to stop surveilling me, OK?
296
00:15:35,448 --> 00:15:37,257
I'm not planning a bank robbery.
297
00:15:37,259 --> 00:15:40,618
I'm going to AA. I'm
working in a charity shop,
298
00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:44,379
plus my real job, and I'm
doing the best I can.
299
00:15:44,380 --> 00:15:46,579
And you're just... I mean, it's, like...
300
00:15:46,580 --> 00:15:48,575
making a murderer up in here.
301
00:15:48,576 --> 00:15:50,859
Are you trying to DRIVE
me back to the bottle?
302
00:15:50,860 --> 00:15:53,019
Oh, my God!
303
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:56,200
Now I've heard it all! Does
that make you feel good,
304
00:15:56,201 --> 00:15:58,859
- blaming it on me?
- It feels great!
305
00:15:58,860 --> 00:16:00,787
(SHE SIGHS)
306
00:16:00,788 --> 00:16:03,943
- Those are for Frankie's lunch.
- Really?
307
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:06,489
Did HE pay for 'em?
308
00:16:06,490 --> 00:16:08,181
(HE SLURPS)
309
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:10,302
Or did I?
310
00:16:14,448 --> 00:16:15,840
Oh, my God!
311
00:16:17,859 --> 00:16:20,788
The receipt's in the
bag. Have a good day.
312
00:16:21,998 --> 00:16:25,778
- Hi. - How are you?
- Yeah, just gonna grab those.
313
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,680
Sorry. It's just...
314
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,520
Um... just a minute.
315
00:16:49,292 --> 00:16:51,659
That isn't the right
price tag for this pair.
316
00:16:51,660 --> 00:16:54,259
- Hm?
- That's the wrong price tag.
317
00:16:54,260 --> 00:16:55,788
Is it?
318
00:16:56,823 --> 00:16:59,899
- Did you swap the tag?
- Why would I swap a tag?
319
00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:02,986
- Because these cost �150 more.
- Really?
320
00:17:02,987 --> 00:17:06,650
- Well, that's... aggravating.
- Do you still want them?
321
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:09,468
Yes, I still want them.
That's why I'm buying them.
322
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,699
But I'd be grateful if you
could find the right tag.
323
00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:14,011
You have the tag.
324
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:18,960
What?
325
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,800
(SHE CLEARS HER THROAT)
326
00:17:23,801 --> 00:17:28,869
I can only think that my son
must have swapped the tags,
327
00:17:28,870 --> 00:17:31,640
- because...
- Your son picked out a waist-27 jean?
328
00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:35,307
You know what? I don't
know how this happened.
329
00:17:35,308 --> 00:17:39,065
- I know how it happened.
- But what's the big deal, really?
330
00:17:39,066 --> 00:17:42,237
Cos next month they're gonna be in
the sale for that price anyway.
331
00:17:42,238 --> 00:17:44,073
Oh, I'm sorry. Do you work here?
332
00:17:44,075 --> 00:17:45,580
Because most of the time
333
00:17:45,581 --> 00:17:48,480
it's the fucking owners who
determine if there's a sale on.
334
00:17:50,222 --> 00:17:53,188
Was it worth it, to get
some cheaper jeans?
335
00:17:54,128 --> 00:17:56,179
They're probably gonna be
too tight on you anyway.
336
00:17:56,180 --> 00:17:58,308
- Pardon?
- You heard me.
337
00:17:59,628 --> 00:18:01,308
You know I could call the police.
338
00:18:02,468 --> 00:18:04,939
Do you think they're gonna put
you in some nice ladies' cell,
339
00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:06,675
because you're a nice lady?
340
00:18:07,341 --> 00:18:08,597
There's no such thing.
341
00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:12,097
And do you know where they
go, if you get arrested?
342
00:18:13,049 --> 00:18:14,668
They don't go with you.
343
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:23,939
Sir, my husband's an alcoholic.
344
00:18:24,908 --> 00:18:27,139
My children don't have a father...
345
00:18:27,753 --> 00:18:30,019
this weekend, and it's just...
346
00:18:30,020 --> 00:18:33,200
It's just really hard. It's
just really hard right now.
347
00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:59,640
(PHONE PINGS)
348
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,339
(HE RINGS DOORBELL)
349
00:19:16,340 --> 00:19:19,800
- Yeah?
- Oh, er... Is Amanda...
350
00:19:20,706 --> 00:19:22,518
I've got, er...
351
00:19:24,565 --> 00:19:28,360
- I'm sorry. Are you a friend of hers?
- No. I'm her husband.
352
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,440
(PHONE BUZZES)
353
00:19:48,370 --> 00:19:49,869
Hello?
354
00:19:49,871 --> 00:19:53,065
Hi. Oh. Is Rob there?
355
00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:57,979
No. He left his phone here,
and a large Burger King bag.
356
00:19:57,980 --> 00:19:59,299
Hold on.
357
00:20:00,503 --> 00:20:04,439
There's a orange Fanta
in it, and some socks.
358
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,329
- Where is he?
- I don't know.
359
00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:08,179
He left about an hour ago.
360
00:20:08,180 --> 00:20:11,360
He left... OK. Thanks.
361
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,680
I left the money for the... on the...
362
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:37,739
Rob! Rob!
363
00:20:37,740 --> 00:20:39,059
Oh!
364
00:20:39,060 --> 00:20:40,659
Agh!
365
00:20:40,660 --> 00:20:42,059
Oh...
366
00:20:42,060 --> 00:20:44,139
Mummy?
367
00:20:44,140 --> 00:20:46,219
Oh...
368
00:20:46,220 --> 00:20:49,160
(PHONE RINGS) (SHE GROANS)
369
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,859
"I'm so sorry. I had to pick up
my phone from the charity shop,
370
00:20:57,860 --> 00:20:59,880
and then by the time I."
371
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,196
OK!
372
00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:05,791
OK.
373
00:21:09,362 --> 00:21:10,988
Can I help you?
374
00:21:11,562 --> 00:21:13,801
Oh! Er, I was looking for Rob.
375
00:21:13,803 --> 00:21:17,400
- Oh, he's not at home. He's...
- May I come inside and wait for him?
376
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:23,259
Erm... do you know what? Let
me get the pushchair inside.
377
00:21:24,181 --> 00:21:26,532
Er, you know what? Actually, um...
378
00:21:27,368 --> 00:21:30,538
Let me give him a call,
because I can tell him that.
379
00:21:30,946 --> 00:21:32,313
Hey! What the hell?!
380
00:21:32,931 --> 00:21:35,499
- Did she hurt you?
- What? No, I fell over.
381
00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:36,829
You cannot come here.
382
00:21:36,830 --> 00:21:38,352
You cannot come to my home.
383
00:21:38,353 --> 00:21:39,922
Why are you angry? I don't understand.
384
00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:41,447
I just met your husband, OK?
385
00:21:41,448 --> 00:21:43,419
Your ALIVE husband.
386
00:21:43,420 --> 00:21:46,516
You might not get jail
time for burning somebody
387
00:21:46,517 --> 00:21:49,414
in a bullshit story, but you
should at least get a fine.
388
00:21:49,415 --> 00:21:50,821
I mean, are you even an alcoholic?
389
00:21:50,823 --> 00:21:52,406
Is your name even Amanda?
390
00:21:52,407 --> 00:21:55,019
It's probably fuckin' Joan.
391
00:21:55,571 --> 00:21:59,782
You called it. My smart
wife. She fuckin' knew.
392
00:22:00,212 --> 00:22:02,251
Rob, maybe we could talk about
this somewhere in private.
393
00:22:02,252 --> 00:22:04,899
Never come near me and my family again,
394
00:22:04,900 --> 00:22:06,541
unless you wanna take another
trip to the hospital.
395
00:22:06,543 --> 00:22:07,859
That's too much!
396
00:22:07,860 --> 00:22:10,899
- Come on!
- I'm sorry, OK?
397
00:22:10,900 --> 00:22:12,587
I didn't mean that. I'm sorry.
398
00:22:12,589 --> 00:22:14,681
Have a... good evening.
399
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,782
- I'm sorry.
- Yeah, you should be.
400
00:22:37,399 --> 00:22:41,419
Because that scared everyone,
me, limp lady, the kids...
401
00:22:41,420 --> 00:22:42,743
And the neighbours.
402
00:22:42,745 --> 00:22:45,219
Mike Walls just called
and asked if we were OK.
403
00:22:45,220 --> 00:22:46,241
What you tell him?
404
00:22:46,243 --> 00:22:48,282
I told him to give me
back my cordless drill.
405
00:22:48,283 --> 00:22:50,800
(SHE LAUGHS)
406
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:53,493
I am sorry.
407
00:22:54,743 --> 00:22:56,280
Can I ask you something?
408
00:23:01,068 --> 00:23:02,988
Were you unhappy the whole time?
409
00:23:03,700 --> 00:23:06,779
Like when we had that weekend in
Margate, were you unhappy there?
410
00:23:06,780 --> 00:23:08,547
What about when we
went to Whipsnade Zoo?
411
00:23:08,548 --> 00:23:10,179
Were you drinking in Whipsnade?
412
00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:12,739
- No. Why would I...
- But you weren't happy.
413
00:23:12,740 --> 00:23:15,579
You didn't love being a
dad and a husband enough
414
00:23:15,580 --> 00:23:17,828
to not drink vodka in the basement.
415
00:23:17,829 --> 00:23:21,109
Honey, those things can coexist.
416
00:23:21,110 --> 00:23:24,059
Did you ever drive with the kids
in the car when you were drinking?
417
00:23:24,060 --> 00:23:27,188
- No. God, no. I would never...
- Ah, so just with me, then.
418
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:33,099
Honey, I need you to try
and trust me again,
419
00:23:33,100 --> 00:23:34,954
just so you don't worry or panic
420
00:23:34,956 --> 00:23:36,462
when you don't know where I am,
421
00:23:36,463 --> 00:23:38,797
and feel like you have to track me.
422
00:23:38,798 --> 00:23:41,099
I'm not doing that cos
I don't trust you.
423
00:23:41,100 --> 00:23:42,788
Well, then, why are you?
424
00:23:44,028 --> 00:23:47,509
Because I get scared
when I can't see you.
425
00:23:47,907 --> 00:23:51,899
OK? I had to look at you in
the mangled wreck of a car.
426
00:23:51,900 --> 00:23:54,539
From the time it took me to run
from that shitty pizza place
427
00:23:54,540 --> 00:23:56,619
to the car, I thought you were dead.
428
00:23:56,620 --> 00:23:58,168
Oh, honey!
429
00:23:59,340 --> 00:24:01,520
Agh!
430
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,939
Just don't die on me.
431
00:24:04,940 --> 00:24:07,899
The kids would be fucked
if you die first.
432
00:24:07,900 --> 00:24:12,099
Well, I mean, they'd be way
more fucked if you died first.
433
00:24:12,595 --> 00:24:16,837
Dunno about that. I don't feel
like much of a mother right now.
434
00:24:18,330 --> 00:24:22,328
I got caught stealing today
from a shop, with the kids,
435
00:24:22,329 --> 00:24:25,628
like a meth-head. I nearly got arrested.
436
00:24:26,681 --> 00:24:28,236
Why are you laughing?
437
00:24:28,238 --> 00:24:31,993
Because that's, like, a
garden-variety cry for help.
438
00:24:31,994 --> 00:24:33,688
Well, then, help me.
439
00:24:33,690 --> 00:24:35,499
Answer my cry for help.
440
00:24:36,017 --> 00:24:37,298
What did you steal?
441
00:24:37,743 --> 00:24:40,548
A dinosaur pillow and a pair of jeans.
442
00:24:40,549 --> 00:24:42,997
Oh, well, then, it's
just a matter of time
443
00:24:42,999 --> 00:24:44,937
before the SWAT team gets here.
444
00:24:44,938 --> 00:24:47,360
- (SHE LAUGHS)
- Fuck off.
445
00:24:50,513 --> 00:24:52,968
Check out Bonnie and Clyde here.
446
00:24:52,977 --> 00:24:54,275
(THEY LAUGH)
447
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:11,280
(THEY GRUNT)
448
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:23,000
(THEY GASP)
449
00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:30,360
(SHE LAUGHS)
450
00:25:33,470 --> 00:25:36,259
I'm so sorry! I... It's the neck brace.
451
00:25:36,260 --> 00:25:38,499
- Oh.
- I... Sorry. I just...
452
00:25:38,500 --> 00:25:41,339
It's... Shall I turn around,
and then you can...
453
00:25:41,340 --> 00:25:43,280
- Oh, sure.
- Cos then I don't... Yeah.
454
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,499
(SHE GASPS)
455
00:25:48,868 --> 00:25:51,139
Wait. No. Sorry. Sorry. Now I
can see you in the mirror.
456
00:25:51,140 --> 00:25:53,779
What... Er, should I turn the light off?
457
00:25:53,780 --> 00:25:56,859
Yeah, that'd be great.
Sorry. Thanks so much.
458
00:25:56,860 --> 00:25:59,375
- Ah!
- Ooh!
459
00:25:59,376 --> 00:26:05,376
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
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