All language subtitles for Baby Daddy s03e09 Go Brit or Go Home.eng

Philip.

Don't you just love the way it sounds?

Philip!

And how adorable is that accent?

But to be honest, I only understand
half of what he says.

Where's Danny? Has he seen this?

No, but have you seen this?

Meet the Rangers' newest icegirl.

Ben: Oh, ho ho!

She's got her hands up
high, her feet down low,

and that's the
way she jig-a-lo...

jig-a-lo
jig-a-lo!

Jig-a-lo!

Um, maybe it's just me.

But isn't dressing Emma
up like a cheerleader

just a little sexist?

No, it's not just you.

It's all the unpopular girls
who couldn't make cheerleading.

Danny, take a look at this.

Front page of the sports section.

That Logan Parker is at it again.

(Exhales) That dude hates me.

He even criticized my Jersey.

- We all wear the same ones!
- Yeah. Jerk!

Well, we need him to start writing words

like "awesome," "amazing,"
and "spectacular."

Or the next contract
we negotiate is gonna be

for you to sell shoes at
the big and tall store.

What am I supposed to do about it?

Here's a crazy idea. Play better?

Come on! We need real ideas!

Huh. Okay, you know what?

Here's what we're gonna do.

After practice today, we are gonna find him

and we are gonna schmooze him.

Okay? We just have to stop by my house

and grab my cleavage. Okay? Let's go.

Let's go. Come on.

So, uh...

I was thinking of bringing
Philip to Danny's game tomorrow.

Oh, my God!

Can we please go like two full sentences

without mentioning lord stuffy pants?

Whoa, okay. Hey, you're the
one who made the big speech

after we broke up about how
we could still be friends.

Well, if you can't be supportive
of my relationship with Philip,

then I think this little
experiment might be over.

Meaning that we get back together?

I love it when I say the words here...

And they mean something
totally different here.

Fine.

I will try and get to know Philip.

Have him come by to the bar today.

We can hang out during my break.

Thank you for being so mature, Ben.

His name is Phil and he's a bore,

and that is why he makes us snore...

Phil's a snore! Phil's a snore!

(Laughs)

(Theme music playing)

Synced and corrected by Nantinha
~ www.addic7ed.com ~

Riley: Oh, I know, I
know. Tell them the story

about how one of your students
mistook you for the TA

and said she heard the
Professor was super hot.

Well, actually...

That was pretty much it.

Oh, my God. I love that story.

(Laughs)

Oh my God, you know what
I love about this lunch?

Nothing.

Oh, hey, can I get a beer?

Oh, give me a minute. We're
just a little short-staffed.

Yeah, probably shouldn't take
my break during the lunch rush.

Trouble you for a pint, love?

Right away.

Wait, did you see that?

What does he have that I don't?

Well, I could make you a list.

But let's start with the accent.

Wait, really? Girls like that?

May I present you exhibit...

(Female voice) "I love that story, ohh."

Yeah yeah. Yeah.

Well, in that case...

(In British accent) Here we are, ladies!
(Laughs)

All aboard the train for Tuckingham Palace.

Uh, so, Ben...

Philip had some really fun ideas

for when the two of you hang out.

I thought this was the hanging out.

But once you start, who
wants to stop, right?

Brilliant. I thought maybe you
could pop by the campus later

and I could show you around.

Pop by the campus?

Well, that's almost too much fun.

I'll be there.

- (Mouthing)
- Yeah, okay.

Okay, uh, now read this.

"Caesar salad with a side of anchovies."

See?

I hate anchovies, but
that sounds delicious.

(In British accent) Excuse me, barkeep,

can I trouble you for a couple of pints?

It's for my new lady friend.
(Chuckles)

(Mouthing) Ben!

(Normal voice) This
accent thing is amazing!

You were right. You can
literally say anything,

and women love it.

(In British accent) Excuse
me, has anyone ever told you

you've got an absolutely lovely bosom?

(Normal voice) See? I just told
that girl she's got nice boobs,

and I'm still standing here.

(Laughs) Oh, try it, try it, try it.

(In cockney accent) 'Ello, duckie!

What are you having today?

Bonnie: I'll go see if that idiot from The Post

has checked in yet.

You keep your eyes open, but do not engage.

Danny! (Snaps fingers)

Talk to no one. Got it?

Got it.

Well, hello.

Hi, there.

Are we finally sharing the
locker room with the ice girls?

Because I put a request
in for that months ago.

Oh, sorry to disappoint,

but I am not one of your cheerleaders.

Are you sure?

Because I know I'm feeling inspired.

Too bad you're not this
aggressive on the ice.

Hey! I made some pretty good passes today.

You're not counting this
as one of them, are you?

(Exhales) Ouch!

She takes me down, which
I'm totally okay with.

All right, seriously?

I cannot find that
talentless hack anywhere.

Hey, do you know which
one of these jackasses

is Logan Parker?

Logan Parker, talentless
hack at your service.

(Coughs, exhales)

Hey!

(Chuckles)

I knew that, yeah.

Gotcha! (Laughs)

We just love hazing the
new reporters, you know?

Wait wait.

You're the dude that hates me?

Well, you're half right.

But this was fun!

Enjoy tomorrow's column.

Now look what you've done!

Whoa.

After you, ladies.

Oh-ho-ho!

Maybe this whole college thing
isn't the worst idea after all.

It has its perks, but I'm
afraid you're a little late

and I have to leave for a meeting.

Oh, am I? Do you?

Darn it!

Well, I guess I'll just take off then.

But don't forget to tell
Riley that I came by...

Because I did.

Actually, I won't be long.

And the rest of my evening
is completely clear.

(Chuckles) Of course it is.

All right, I'm off. Make yourself at home.

(Clears throat)

(Mocking Philip) Hello, Philip here.

Can I get someone to come down here

and pull the stick out of me arse?

(Knocks on door)

Professor Farlow, are you busy?

No no no, I'm not...

(In British accent) ... Busy at all.

What can I do for you, love?

I was hoping to audit
your art history seminar.

I brought the form.

Oh, you can audit me anytime.

Excuse me?

Why don't we discuss
it further over a pint?

I may need to give you an entrance exam.

(Ringing)

- Hello?
- Danny?

Where did you go?

I'm home. I always nap after practice.

Okay, I turn my head for like two...

Three seconds, and you disappear.

You were supposed to try and talk to Logan.

- Oh, I did.
- (Gasps) You did?

Okay, that... that's
great. So, how'd it go?

Not exactly how I thought it would.

- (Both laughing)
- That's so good!

Oh, my God. You guys are never
going to believe what happened.

I had a good time with Phil. No,
I know, I don't believe it either.

No, apparently some woman asked
to audit Philip's class yesterday,

and claims he totally hit on her.

What?! How could she?

He! How could he?!

He's been called before the Dean
and accused of sexual harassment.

Harassment?! That's a pretty strong
word for a little innocent flirting.

I'm assuming.

You know, the brits actually pronounce it

"harrisment." (Laughs)

Truly, they can make anything sound classy.

(In British accent) My bum itches.

Fancy a scratch? (Laughing)

Tucker, this is serious.

- They're probably going to fire him.
- Fire him?!

Is that really fair? Maybe
it's just a misunderstanding.

God, I just... I should have known.

It was too good to be true.

Why is it that every time
I fall for the perfect guy

he turns out to be just the perfect jerk?

No offense.

But there are two sides to every story.

Sometimes even three.

(Normal voice) No. Oh, hell nah.

Look, nah.

Listen, I say where
there's smoke, there's fire.

Which means, girl, get
your ass out that building

before you get burned.

See? See?

Thank you. Tucker gets it.

But... but aren't you the one who's
always saying innocent until proven guilty?

No. Why would I...

Oh, lawyer. Right.

Well, he did deny everything.

- See?
- Uh-uh, he lyin'.

You're right. Of course.
Of course he's lying.

Or perhaps you're turning your
back on a man wrongfully accused.

Riley, you have to trust your heart

and give him the benefit of the doubt.

You're right. (Exhales)

Thanks, Ben.

You really are a good friend.

Remember that.

Well, I have got to go
find Philip and apologize.

You know, I may have called
him a no-good philanderer

and made a disparaging
remark about the crown jewels.

His, not the Queen's.

(Chuckles) Wow.

Hey, Ben, when did you
become such a Philip fan?

When I realized that
Riley will never forgive me

if she finds out the truth.

Philip didn't hit on a student.

It was me.

Oh, my God. Philip hit on you?

Dude, I'm telling you,

you can never tell with those brits.

No!

I hit on one of his students

using your stupid accent routine.

- And did it work?
- Obviously not.

Well, then it wasn't my routine.

Okay, after a few failed attempts,

I am finally out of here.

- See ya.
- Hey, slow down.

Not to be all girly, but no goodbye kiss?

Ooh, Danny.

I'm sorry, but I can't.

- This was bad.
- Sorry.

First time's usually a little awkward.

Danny, this is a conflict of interest.

I can be fired.

Oh, well, we'll just make sure
that nobody else finds out.

Just don't write anything too nice about me

in the paper tomorrow.

Wait.

Is that what this is about?

Is that why you talked me into bed?

You want me to go easy on you?!

Whoa whoa, calm down.

No.

You can go any way you want on me.

Logan, I like you.

And I like you too.

Which is why this will never work.

I have to be able to
write the truth about you.

And unfortunately, your game's
not as pretty as you are.

Hey... I'm working on it.

Not as hard as you should be.

I think you're a really good player,

but you could be great.

You really think so?

Yeah, I do.

See you around, Wheeler.

- Hello, Logan!
- (Yelps)

(Exhales) Ah, the mother.

Hi. I was just...

Oh, I know exactly what you were just...

Seriously?

I live across the alley, and those boys
leave the blinds open all the time.

Well, I hope you enjoyed the show,

but it was a one night only kinda thing.

Ohh, that's too bad.

I was going to invite your editor

to the next performance.

My editor?

That sounds like a
not-so-very-veiled threat.

Oh, and here I was afraid
you weren't gonna get it.

Oh, I get it.

And now I'm just waiting
to hear what you want.

Well, what I want is a star map,

an unmarked van and the alarm
code to Jon Bon Jovi's house.

But I'll settle for you

writing a nice article about Danny.

So you want me to throw away
my journalistic integrity?

Oh, honey, you left that
on Danny's nightstand

next to your morals and scruples.

Wow.

I have faced a lot of
challenges in this business.

I never thought my biggest one
would come from another woman.

Oh, I'm not a woman.

I'm a mother.

Dude, what is taking you so long?

You know I'm not good
at looking inconspicuous.

In related news, I'm
rushing sigma beta kappa.

I'm sorry, man.

I just gotta find that girl's paperwork.

She left it here
somewhere. Here, hold Emma.

Dude, I cannot believe you
brought your baby on a heist.

Are you kidding? It's genius.

If someone catches me, I was just
looking for a place to change the baby.

And trust me, not one's gonna be
checking to see if I'm telling the truth.

Hilip: I'll just be two
seconds and we'll be on our way.

That's him!

Under the desk. Go go go.

I can't tell you how much it means to me

that you're standing
by me through all this.

Oh, well, you kinda have
Ben to thank for that.

See, I knew he wasn't as
bad as you made him out be.

There has to be something you can do.

You have to fight this.

It's her word against mine.

And since I'm the teacher without tenure,

easier on everyone just to fire me.

Well, I'll hire you.

You know, for general boyfriend duties,

maybe some light housekeeping.

Unfortunately, this whole
mess is now delaying my visa.

If I don't get it, I'm packing to go home.

No, you can't go now.

I just started to understand you.

There really is nothing we can do.

Unless...

Unless what?

Riley, is there any
chance you'd consider...

Marrying me?

- Hey, Logan. Can I talk to you?
- No!

Then I guess you don't
want your computer back.

Of course that's where I left it.

Mm-hmm. And this day just
goes from bad to worse.

Hey, I know you don't want
everyone to know about us,

but can you turn the hostile down?

You're making me feel bad.

Oh, and I'm supposed to
care about your feelings

after what you and your mom pulled?

What does my mom have to do with this?

Don't play dumb, Wheeler.

And don't even worry about me.

I already asked to get
transferred to another beat.

Oh, and good luck sleeping with
the next reporter they send in.

Unless it's Ken. He likes tall guys.

Just know...

That you are never gonna
be better than mediocre

if you're not willing to hear the truth.

Danny! Have you seen Phil and Riley?

They're not in their seats.

Oh, yeah, she called. They can't make it.

Something about having to go
by their friend court's house.

Or possibly the courthouse?

No, I'm pretty sure she said court's house.

She wouldn't actually go
through with it, would she?

(In British accent) I don't
suppose you'd consider marrying me?

(Normal voice) Dude, I almost said yes!

We've gotta go. Oh, mom! Good. You're here.

Hey, do you wanna hold
Emma for like two seconds?

- Yes.
- Thanks.

Do you wanna hold the bag for another sec?

- Oh, yeah yeah.
- Sweet...

Mom, did you talk to Logan?

Oh, I did more than talk to her.

I kinda blackmailed her.

Yeah.Show mama some love, huh?

Yeah?

- Do you see her?
- Oh oh! There she is.

Aw, I like that she's not wearing white.

It's more honest.

Riley, wait.

Ben, what are you doing here?

Trying to stop you from doing something

you could end up regretting
for the rest of your life.

Riley, this is too big a decision.

You can't just rush into this.

Rest of my life? This is
maybe three years, tops.

And what do you really
even know about him anyway?

Yeah, sure, he looks like a
prince and talks like a Butler,

but superficial reasons aren't enough
to write your name down next to his.

(Chuckles softly) But you're
the one who convinced me

how great he was.

And you picked today to
start listening to me?

And using her like this
to stay in the country?

How can you live with yourself?

Ben, it's just a piece of paper.

No, it's not. Don't you get it?

This shouldn't just be your
first. This should be your only.

Your happily ever after.

And it should be with a
guy who understands you

and will be by your side
when you're old and ugly

and you need one of those chairs

that goes up and down stairs.

My Nana actually died in one of those.

Yeah, she just kept going
up and down for like two days

before we found her.

(mouthing)

What exactly do you think we're doing?

Getting married.

No! Why would I do that?

Ben, I'm here helping Philip
with the paperwork for his visa.

But aren't you getting fired?

Oh, no, the university called.

Apparently, the young woman saw my picture,

realized she'd made a mistake.

Ohh...

Well, then, in that case,

have a lovely afternoon
and welcome to the States.

Yeah.

But, you know, I'm wondering

what she'd say if we
showed her your picture.

My picture?

(Sighs deeply)

(In British accent) Well, isn't
this just a dilly of a pickle?

(Chuckles)

Oh, my God, Ben, what is wrong with you?!

Riley, I was just trying to prove
to you I could be your friend

by trying to be his friend.

- And then Tucker suggested...
- Ooh, don't even go there.

Philip, man, I'm so sorry.

You've been nothing but nice to me,

and I've been nothing but a jerk to you.

Ben, you're an odd fellow.

But you are one of Riley's oldest friends.

Mm, let's not get crazy.

So I suppose the right thing
to do is accept your apology.

What about you, Riley?

I still can't believe you
thought I would get married.

In this.

But if Philip can forgive you,

then I guess I can too.

- Hug?
- Mm, I'm not there yet.

Good enough for me.

Tucker, man, you comin'?

Yeah yeah yeah. In a sec.

Kelly and Joe asked me
to be their best man.

(Knocking on door)

It's open.

Your message said you
weren't gonna be here.

For some reason, people seem to get
upset when you leave a baby alone.

What the hell is this?
Did you use my computer?

It's a little article
about how my drop pass sucks

and I need to work on my speed.

What the hell is this?! Do you
see what just went up online?

Oh, you!

You are going down.

When I am done, the only
thing you'll be writing

is people's names on coffee cups!

Mom, Logan didn't write the story. I did.

Really? Why would you write that you're not

living up to your potential?

And when did you learn
how to spell "potential"?!

Why would you do that?

I didn't want you to
think that I was using you.

And how am I supposed
to become a better player

if you stop everyone from criticizing me?

I mean, what are you gonna do next?

Start dating the owner?

I'm working on it.

But he keeps changing his cellphone number.
(Groans softly)

You can't keep trying to beat
up all the bullies for me.

I can take a few hits.

But, Danny, I am just doing
what I think is best for you.

I know. And I love you for it.

And I don't know what to say.

Maybe I did misjudge you.

Not your playing, but you.

Well, great.

I guess I've got all three of
my ladies taken care of then.

All three?

Hey, darlin'.

I traded her pom-poms for a puck.

Emma, you can be whatever you wanna be.

A cheerleader, an
athlete, a writer or a mom.

Well, you might not wanna be a
cheerleader and a mom at the same time.

(Groaning) It was tough.

Are you sure we can't
keep seeing each other?

I'm sure.

(Both panting)

You're right, we can't keep doing this.

Uh-uh.

So same time tomorrow?

- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.

(In British accent)
You are a cheeky little dove.

I'd like to fly you home to my nest.

(Laughs)

Tucker, your accent is
almost perfect... amazing.

Okay okay, now me, now me.

(In Irish accent) I'm a Randy lad

looking for a good snog. Care to join me?

Or maybe we could try...

My mate says American
girls don't kiss well.

I disagree.

Care to settle the argument?

- Oh, that is so good!
- Oh, damn!

That is so good! I love it, man.

This was all before I met you, darling.

Uh, remind me again

why I insisted you guys hang out?

- (Guys laugh)
- Who knows?

- We love him!
- New bestie! (Laughs)

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