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1
00:00:00,312 --> 00:00:02,158
Whoo! (Laughs)
2
00:00:02,159 --> 00:00:03,874
Enjoying your flight today, Emma?
3
00:00:03,875 --> 00:00:06,547
Just warn me if we're
heading for Aca-puko, okay?
4
00:00:07,689 --> 00:00:10,631
- Knock-knock! Danny?
- Riley, hi.
5
00:00:10,632 --> 00:00:12,469
Ben, don't bother. I'm not talking to you.
6
00:00:12,470 --> 00:00:15,018
But if I were I'd be saying,
"I can't believe you slept with Heather."
7
00:00:15,019 --> 00:00:16,795
- Listen, listen, I'm so sorry.
- Really, I don't need to...
8
00:00:16,796 --> 00:00:18,198
- just hear me out.
- I don't wanna hear the whole thing!
9
00:00:18,199 --> 00:00:19,579
- It's really not necessary!
- Just shut up already!
10
00:00:20,886 --> 00:00:22,438
I'm trying to apologize here.
11
00:00:23,076 --> 00:00:25,476
Listen, I am so sorry I slept with Heather.
12
00:00:25,477 --> 00:00:26,624
If I knew you hated her,
13
00:00:26,625 --> 00:00:27,926
I would've done the right thing...
14
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:29,899
I would've snuck her out the fire escape.
15
00:00:32,301 --> 00:00:34,023
- Is your brother here or not?
- Not.
16
00:00:34,024 --> 00:00:35,466
- Okay.
- No no, Riley, wait wait wait.
17
00:00:35,467 --> 00:00:36,974
Please please please. I promise you
18
00:00:36,975 --> 00:00:39,201
I will never ever hook
up with Heather again.
19
00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:41,444
Well, you couldn't even if you wanted to,
20
00:00:41,445 --> 00:00:43,472
so not really that big of a sacrifice.
21
00:00:44,814 --> 00:00:47,326
Oh... (Chuckles) I could.
22
00:00:48,238 --> 00:00:50,816
She was into me, but I'm choosing not to,
23
00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:52,408
because I'm just that kinda guy.
24
00:00:53,951 --> 00:00:55,837
Oh. Well, sorry to burst your man-bubble,
25
00:00:55,838 --> 00:00:58,224
but Heather only used
you to get even with me.
26
00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:00,653
And it just helped that you
have no morals or integrity.
27
00:01:01,677 --> 00:01:03,276
- Oh? Really? Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
28
00:01:03,277 --> 00:01:07,184
Would a woman... Who
never wants to see me again
29
00:01:07,185 --> 00:01:08,844
leave an earring?
30
00:01:10,012 --> 00:01:11,608
She's practically moving in!
31
00:01:12,831 --> 00:01:15,899
Oh. Okay. Whatever you say, yeah.
32
00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:18,354
Well, I say I could go out with
her again any time I wanted to.
33
00:01:18,355 --> 00:01:20,452
Well, I say I challenge you.
34
00:01:20,453 --> 00:01:21,839
Oh, really? Are we gonna go there?
35
00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:23,267
Oh, I think we're already there.
36
00:01:23,268 --> 00:01:25,532
Fine. I bet I can go on a date with Heather
37
00:01:25,533 --> 00:01:28,643
- in the next 48 hours.
- (Scoffs) And I accept that bet.
38
00:01:28,644 --> 00:01:32,780
- Should we wager the usual?
- How about the usual deluxe?
39
00:01:33,479 --> 00:01:35,272
Ho ho. (Grunts)
40
00:01:37,743 --> 00:01:39,580
(Laughs) Oh man.
41
00:01:39,947 --> 00:01:41,471
Oh, this is gonna be good.
42
00:01:41,472 --> 00:01:43,198
- Okay. (Clears throat)
- (Beeps)
43
00:01:44,410 --> 00:01:46,497
Hey, what's up, Heather? It's Ben.
44
00:01:47,634 --> 00:01:48,976
(Whispering) Wheeler.
45
00:01:51,550 --> 00:01:53,120
We had sex.
46
00:01:54,601 --> 00:01:56,338
Heather? Heather!
47
00:01:57,264 --> 00:01:58,657
(Beeps)
48
00:01:58,658 --> 00:02:00,103
She's gonna call me back.
49
00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:02,497
(Theme music playing)
50
00:02:02,498 --> 00:02:05,403
It's amazing how the unexpected
51
00:02:05,404 --> 00:02:08,736
can take your life
and change direction.
52
00:02:09,095 --> 00:02:12,973
Synced and corrected by Nantinha
~ www.addic7ed.com ~
53
00:02:12,974 --> 00:02:15,664
Dude, any ideas? I need to
get the date with Heather
54
00:02:15,665 --> 00:02:17,747
or I'm gonna be on the wrong
end of the usual deluxe,
55
00:02:18,802 --> 00:02:21,202
and I am not shaving off my eyebrows...
56
00:02:22,552 --> 00:02:23,848
Again.
57
00:02:24,857 --> 00:02:27,218
Well, I think your best bet
is to go build a time machine
58
00:02:27,219 --> 00:02:30,325
and go back to a time...
Before you were an idiot.
59
00:02:31,487 --> 00:02:34,459
All right. Well, I am off
to the park to meet a lady.
60
00:02:34,460 --> 00:02:37,112
All I need is a bottle, a binky and a baby.
61
00:02:38,114 --> 00:02:40,506
Do you ever wonder why you're
single? Because I don't.
62
00:02:41,775 --> 00:02:45,478
Ever why you're folding onesies
while I'm going to pick up a girl?
63
00:02:46,226 --> 00:02:47,845
Because I don't.
64
00:02:48,579 --> 00:02:50,756
Dude, are you using
Emma to meet women again?
65
00:02:50,757 --> 00:02:51,865
Yes.
66
00:02:53,163 --> 00:02:54,757
And I also use her
67
00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:56,713
to cut through long bathroom lines.
68
00:02:57,645 --> 00:02:59,734
(Chuckles) Sorry, Tucker,
but Emma's gonna get me a date
69
00:03:00,051 --> 00:03:02,269
and help me win a bet. Okay, baby,
70
00:03:02,270 --> 00:03:04,230
time to earn your formula. Whoo!
71
00:03:05,816 --> 00:03:07,048
Onesie?
72
00:03:08,886 --> 00:03:09,998
Boys...
73
00:03:11,009 --> 00:03:12,635
I'm having a crisis.
74
00:03:13,513 --> 00:03:15,321
Is it a real crisis or the
kind where you just need
75
00:03:15,322 --> 00:03:17,163
a glass of chardonnay to cheer you up?
76
00:03:18,145 --> 00:03:20,194
No, but thanks for the reminder.
77
00:03:21,533 --> 00:03:24,140
Okay, after much soul-searching,
78
00:03:24,141 --> 00:03:28,252
I've decided that I've
gotta break up with Brad.
79
00:03:28,253 --> 00:03:32,031
You know, he's just too young and immature.
80
00:03:32,032 --> 00:03:34,601
It turns out once we have our clothes on,
81
00:03:34,602 --> 00:03:36,085
we have nothing in common!
82
00:03:37,269 --> 00:03:39,522
But, mom, Brad's awesome!
83
00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:42,619
He likes to play air hockey, he
always lets me win at "Dino Hunter IV"
84
00:03:42,620 --> 00:03:45,754
and he's got the entire secret
menu memorized at the Burger Barn.
85
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,494
And you wanna know why I'm single?
86
00:03:50,052 --> 00:03:52,430
Mom, if you dump him, he'll dump me.
87
00:03:52,431 --> 00:03:54,409
(Scoffs) I broke up with
your friend Jimmy Balding
88
00:03:54,410 --> 00:03:56,978
- and he didn't dump you.
- You dated Jimmy Balding?!
89
00:03:56,979 --> 00:03:58,744
No! Who said that?! No.
90
00:03:59,247 --> 00:04:01,853
Okay, I just need to think of the best way
91
00:04:01,854 --> 00:04:04,975
to break up with Brad
without hurting his feelings.
92
00:04:04,976 --> 00:04:07,887
I got you covered. Fake move to Mexico.
93
00:04:07,888 --> 00:04:08,977
Yes.
94
00:04:10,001 --> 00:04:12,211
I got a guy who will
send a postcard for you.
95
00:04:12,212 --> 00:04:13,707
- Oh.
- Yeah.
96
00:04:13,708 --> 00:04:15,252
Just ask for Bonifacio.
97
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,857
- (Phone ringing)
- (Mutters)
98
00:04:19,965 --> 00:04:22,270
- (Scoffs) It's him.
- Bonifacio?
99
00:04:25,698 --> 00:04:27,244
- Brad.
- Oh.
100
00:04:27,245 --> 00:04:28,634
Okay, you know what?
101
00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:30,845
I think that I'm just
gonna get it over with.
102
00:04:30,846 --> 00:04:32,953
- Okay? (Breathes deeply)
- (Beeps)
103
00:04:32,954 --> 00:04:35,090
Hey, Brad. Look...
104
00:04:35,639 --> 00:04:38,546
You what? Okay, I'll be right there!
105
00:04:38,547 --> 00:04:40,529
(Scoffs) He's in the hospital!
106
00:04:41,129 --> 00:04:43,881
Why does bad stuff always happen to me?!
107
00:04:49,476 --> 00:04:51,584
Oh my God, Brad. Are you okay?
108
00:04:51,585 --> 00:04:54,286
- Dude, what happened?
- Well, I was showing the new Brad pad
109
00:04:54,287 --> 00:04:57,745
and the last thing I remember were the
elevator doors just closing in on my head.
110
00:04:58,364 --> 00:05:01,526
Thankfully, the face is fine.
111
00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:03,748
Don't worry. A few more tests
112
00:05:03,749 --> 00:05:05,920
and this whole thing will
be over before you know it.
113
00:05:05,921 --> 00:05:09,221
Speaking of things that are gonna
be over before you know it...
114
00:05:09,222 --> 00:05:12,230
Mom, not now. The man is practically dying.
115
00:05:12,231 --> 00:05:14,914
- I'm sure it can wait.
- Well, what I have to say can't.
116
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:17,257
(Clicks, whirs)
117
00:05:19,258 --> 00:05:23,903
Bonnie, when those doors were
squeezing the blood out of my head,
118
00:05:24,354 --> 00:05:27,352
I swear my life flashed before my eyes.
119
00:05:27,685 --> 00:05:28,889
And in that instant
120
00:05:29,303 --> 00:05:31,178
all I thought about was you.
121
00:05:33,349 --> 00:05:34,553
Bonnie...
122
00:05:36,162 --> 00:05:37,421
I love you.
123
00:05:38,949 --> 00:05:40,655
I love you too.
124
00:05:41,578 --> 00:05:42,921
Yes! Whoo!
125
00:05:43,532 --> 00:05:45,867
Let's celebrate with some pants...
126
00:05:45,868 --> 00:05:49,070
(Chuckles) 'Cause I can
kinda see up your gown.
127
00:05:52,616 --> 00:05:55,415
Okay, Emma, time to work your baby magic.
128
00:05:56,633 --> 00:05:58,836
Hello, baby stealer.
129
00:05:58,837 --> 00:06:01,280
- I think you mean "bet loser."
- (Scoffs)
130
00:06:01,281 --> 00:06:02,554
What are you guys doing here?
131
00:06:02,555 --> 00:06:04,793
Oh, well, we were gonna go
see that new disaster movie
132
00:06:04,794 --> 00:06:07,372
but why buy the ticket when
they're showing one for free here?
133
00:06:07,373 --> 00:06:09,910
(Laughs) Yeah, plus we got great seats.
134
00:06:10,359 --> 00:06:11,976
Don't forget to turn off your cellphone.
135
00:06:11,977 --> 00:06:14,609
Oh, thanks. Ooh! showtime.
136
00:06:15,066 --> 00:06:17,888
Heather, hi. You look lovely as always.
137
00:06:17,889 --> 00:06:20,541
You met me once. Can I have my earring?
138
00:06:20,851 --> 00:06:22,561
Not till you've met Emma.
139
00:06:23,388 --> 00:06:24,699
(High-pitched) Hi, Heather.
140
00:06:24,700 --> 00:06:26,775
How'd you like to go
out with my daddy again?
141
00:06:26,776 --> 00:06:28,373
He sure does like you.
142
00:06:28,374 --> 00:06:29,936
Oh, sweetie, they all do.
143
00:06:30,740 --> 00:06:32,003
Now can I have my earring?
144
00:06:32,004 --> 00:06:34,098
Here here, just hold her 10 seconds
145
00:06:34,099 --> 00:06:35,378
- and I'll give you back the earring.
- (Sighs)
146
00:06:35,832 --> 00:06:38,522
Come on. Come on.
147
00:06:39,704 --> 00:06:41,323
There you go.
148
00:06:41,783 --> 00:06:45,531
- Yeah.
- Aww. She is awfully cute.
149
00:06:45,532 --> 00:06:47,191
- (Emma pukes)
- (Heather yelps)
150
00:06:48,117 --> 00:06:50,130
(Moans, grunts)
151
00:06:50,771 --> 00:06:53,600
Here. Your baby's broken.
152
00:06:54,269 --> 00:06:57,967
- (Scoffs)
- Sorry. If you let it dry, you can chip it off later.
153
00:06:57,968 --> 00:06:59,267
Earring!
154
00:07:00,862 --> 00:07:02,372
Gimme that.
155
00:07:03,992 --> 00:07:07,115
- (Laughs) Bravo.
- Wow. Well done.
156
00:07:07,116 --> 00:07:08,787
We loved every minute of that,
157
00:07:08,788 --> 00:07:10,790
- even though the ending was kinda predictable.
- Yeah.
158
00:07:11,685 --> 00:07:15,404
Hey, maybe next time you'll think
twice about baby-blocking me.
159
00:07:16,549 --> 00:07:18,520
Wow. I had no idea
160
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,435
you'd be going down so quickly.
161
00:07:20,436 --> 00:07:22,484
I gotta start working on your punishment.
162
00:07:23,008 --> 00:07:25,371
Do you know where I
can find a video camera,
163
00:07:25,372 --> 00:07:27,711
some hair-removal cream and a tarp?
164
00:07:30,239 --> 00:07:31,748
(Whirring)
165
00:07:32,207 --> 00:07:35,370
This is a disaster! I
mean, what do I do now?
166
00:07:35,737 --> 00:07:37,566
You gotta smooth it out first.
167
00:07:39,175 --> 00:07:41,257
Not the dollar! Brad!
168
00:07:41,935 --> 00:07:43,234
Well, there's nothing to do.
169
00:07:43,235 --> 00:07:45,026
Now that you love him,
everything's perfect.
170
00:07:45,027 --> 00:07:47,553
Well, Danny... Danny, I don't love him.
171
00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:49,772
I just got caught up in the moment.
172
00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:52,519
Listen, just go down to
that fountain in the lobby
173
00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:54,267
and fish me out some quarters.
174
00:07:54,268 --> 00:07:55,523
But those are other people's wishes.
175
00:07:55,524 --> 00:07:57,000
Just go!
176
00:07:57,508 --> 00:07:59,908
- (Sighs)
- (Woman speaks over P.A.)
177
00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:02,561
(Whirring)
178
00:08:03,064 --> 00:08:04,428
(Grunts)
179
00:08:04,429 --> 00:08:05,847
You know, if you pound
it left of the spring,
180
00:08:05,848 --> 00:08:07,370
- it'll give you what you want.
- (Scoffs)
181
00:08:09,206 --> 00:08:11,584
Funny, I come with the same
instructions. (Chuckles)
182
00:08:12,574 --> 00:08:14,852
I'm not sure you should buy
anything from that machine.
183
00:08:14,853 --> 00:08:16,530
Some of those chips are as old as me.
184
00:08:16,531 --> 00:08:18,887
Well, I prefer the phrase
"aged to perfection."
185
00:08:19,902 --> 00:08:21,438
In that case, I'm Jim.
186
00:08:21,439 --> 00:08:22,778
Hi, Jim, I'm Bonnie.
187
00:08:23,197 --> 00:08:25,469
I hope I'm not being too
forward, but are you single?
188
00:08:26,461 --> 00:08:28,225
Heading in that direction.
189
00:08:29,530 --> 00:08:31,988
Then you'd consider having drinks with me?
190
00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:34,339
Well, consider it considered.
191
00:08:34,340 --> 00:08:35,623
(Laughs)
192
00:08:35,624 --> 00:08:37,204
- Can I get your number?
- Sure.
193
00:08:37,689 --> 00:08:40,901
What are the chances I'd meet
a beautiful woman in a hospital?
194
00:08:40,902 --> 00:08:43,973
Well, hopefully after I
walk away, slim to none.
195
00:08:43,974 --> 00:08:45,262
(Laughs)
196
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:52,053
(Coins jingle)
197
00:08:53,826 --> 00:08:55,515
(Scoffs) What?
198
00:08:56,179 --> 00:08:59,034
He's the hospital snack inspector.
199
00:09:01,653 --> 00:09:03,240
- (Knocks on door)
- (Door opens)
200
00:09:03,241 --> 00:09:04,333
Oh hey, dad.
201
00:09:06,711 --> 00:09:09,635
I can't believe it. You
just missed my girlfriend.
202
00:09:12,955 --> 00:09:15,314
I got less than 24 hours
to get Heather to go out with me.
203
00:09:15,315 --> 00:09:17,139
Do you really want to see
me humiliated in public?
204
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,730
Hang on a sec. Yeah, I'm okay with that.
205
00:09:20,254 --> 00:09:21,166
(Door opens)
206
00:09:21,167 --> 00:09:22,270
Oh my God, I'm so lucky.
207
00:09:22,638 --> 00:09:25,203
Somebody just died in this,
so I got it for half off.
208
00:09:27,678 --> 00:09:29,423
What size chicken foot are you?
209
00:09:29,424 --> 00:09:30,786
Hey, this isn't a done deal.
210
00:09:31,545 --> 00:09:32,890
Nine and a half.
211
00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:36,559
Mom, I am not ending
things with Brad for you!
212
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:39,691
Why not? I ended my prom early for you.
213
00:09:41,985 --> 00:09:45,484
14 lbs, Danny. You were 14 lbs.
214
00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:48,460
But you told Brad you love him.
215
00:09:48,461 --> 00:09:49,902
Well, I had to!
216
00:09:49,903 --> 00:09:53,096
He was just lying there all
wounded and vulnerable...
217
00:09:53,516 --> 00:09:55,720
In that really short gown.
218
00:09:56,689 --> 00:09:59,079
And then he just sucker-punched
me with an "I love you."
219
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,217
I mean, I couldn't help but say it back.
220
00:10:01,218 --> 00:10:02,800
Wait, just because he said it first?
221
00:10:04,084 --> 00:10:06,522
I gotta try that. Where is that damn baby?
222
00:10:08,414 --> 00:10:11,334
I mean, that's how Jimmy Balding
got me to go out with him.
223
00:10:11,335 --> 00:10:12,962
You went out with Jimmy Balding too?!
224
00:10:14,661 --> 00:10:16,685
So, if you hear "I love you,"
225
00:10:16,686 --> 00:10:18,233
there's pretty much nothing you won't do?
226
00:10:19,283 --> 00:10:21,221
Any chance Brad's still in the hospital?
227
00:10:21,222 --> 00:10:23,002
I think I might wanna go pay my respects.
228
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:24,876
He's not dead...
229
00:10:25,434 --> 00:10:27,396
Though that would make
things easier for me.
230
00:10:28,042 --> 00:10:29,991
- No. No.
- Mom, I seriously think
231
00:10:29,992 --> 00:10:31,932
you should reconsider
breaking up with Brad.
232
00:10:31,933 --> 00:10:34,803
I mean, he's smart, he's
funny, he's generous.
233
00:10:34,804 --> 00:10:37,596
Ooh, that's good. Tell him all
that stuff when you dump him.
234
00:10:40,961 --> 00:10:42,798
- Brad, hey.
- Hey.
235
00:10:42,799 --> 00:10:44,153
Great to see you up and about,
236
00:10:44,154 --> 00:10:45,659
looking like you're ready for anything.
237
00:10:46,603 --> 00:10:48,184
Absolutely anything.
238
00:10:49,032 --> 00:10:51,015
I'm actually really
glad that you stopped by.
239
00:10:51,016 --> 00:10:54,542
Hey, what do you think
about me asking your mom
240
00:10:54,543 --> 00:10:56,400
to move in with me?
241
00:10:56,953 --> 00:11:00,215
Umm, I think you should ask
me again in about two minutes.
242
00:11:01,308 --> 00:11:02,915
So, Brad...
243
00:11:02,916 --> 00:11:05,811
She just makes me feel
like no one ever has before.
244
00:11:05,812 --> 00:11:08,434
You know, I wanna take care
of her, I wanna make her happy.
245
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:09,791
We belong together, you know?
246
00:11:10,193 --> 00:11:13,563
She's just... she's just perfect for me.
247
00:11:14,769 --> 00:11:15,982
You know what?
248
00:11:15,983 --> 00:11:17,638
My mom is perfect for you.
249
00:11:18,882 --> 00:11:20,150
That's what I've been saying!
250
00:11:20,545 --> 00:11:23,242
In fact, I literally just said that.
251
00:11:23,803 --> 00:11:25,372
You definitely shouldn't break up.
252
00:11:25,373 --> 00:11:28,231
- Why would we break up?
- Um, exactly!
253
00:11:28,232 --> 00:11:29,758
- (Both laugh)
- So let's go find her,
254
00:11:29,759 --> 00:11:31,795
and when she starts talking,
you say "I love you."
255
00:11:31,796 --> 00:11:34,916
Got it? Okay. But maybe we
should stop by the fountain first,
256
00:11:34,917 --> 00:11:36,682
- so you can make a wish.
- (Laughs)
257
00:11:43,529 --> 00:11:44,675
Perfect.
258
00:11:48,259 --> 00:11:50,077
(Whirring)
259
00:11:52,074 --> 00:11:54,203
- (Knocks on door)
- (Door opens)
260
00:11:54,523 --> 00:11:56,715
- Ben?
- Heather, is that you?
261
00:11:58,074 --> 00:11:59,502
What happened? I got your text.
262
00:12:00,064 --> 00:12:01,757
Car out of nowhere.
263
00:12:01,758 --> 00:12:03,305
Details are sketchy.
264
00:12:03,997 --> 00:12:06,275
The hospital said I should
have a lawyer come down.
265
00:12:06,276 --> 00:12:09,729
- Riley's a lawyer.
- They said, "good lawyer."
266
00:12:11,751 --> 00:12:13,901
Ben... (Clears throat) What's going on?
267
00:12:13,902 --> 00:12:16,348
And why aren't these machines working?
268
00:12:17,894 --> 00:12:19,934
I don't have very good insurance.
269
00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:23,367
Heather, look, here is the truth...
270
00:12:23,839 --> 00:12:25,928
- I know I don't mean anything to you...
- Yup.
271
00:12:27,382 --> 00:12:30,041
And that you pretty much just
used me to get back at Riley...
272
00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:31,297
Mm-hmm.
273
00:12:32,591 --> 00:12:34,695
But when I saw that bus heading for me...
274
00:12:34,696 --> 00:12:36,011
I thought it was a car.
275
00:12:36,012 --> 00:12:38,104
Large car, small bus... not important.
276
00:12:39,199 --> 00:12:42,462
The point is I saw my life flash before me
277
00:12:42,463 --> 00:12:44,153
and all I saw was you.
278
00:12:44,490 --> 00:12:46,437
And at first I didn't
know why or what it meant,
279
00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:48,015
but now I do.
280
00:12:48,745 --> 00:12:51,734
Heather, I love you.
281
00:12:58,078 --> 00:13:00,124
(Sighs) You know,
it's a shame you don't live here.
282
00:13:00,900 --> 00:13:03,316
Although that's why God invented sexting.
283
00:13:03,814 --> 00:13:05,242
Mmm. (Chuckles) Well, you never know.
284
00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:06,536
I do have a couple of sons in town.
285
00:13:06,537 --> 00:13:08,740
Maybe I'll find a nice
little pied-a-terre.
286
00:13:08,741 --> 00:13:10,775
Ooh, you speak French.
287
00:13:10,776 --> 00:13:12,447
It's another thing we have in common.
288
00:13:13,269 --> 00:13:15,741
Soup du jour. (Laughs)
289
00:13:16,407 --> 00:13:17,767
It's just soup.
290
00:13:18,557 --> 00:13:20,184
- Yeah. (Chuckles)
- (Watch beeps)
291
00:13:20,185 --> 00:13:22,304
Oh! Time to check the meter.
292
00:13:22,305 --> 00:13:24,550
- Mmm.
- Please try not to get in any trouble.
293
00:13:24,551 --> 00:13:26,127
Well, then why am I here?
294
00:13:26,128 --> 00:13:27,435
- (Both laugh)
- Oh.
295
00:13:31,367 --> 00:13:33,799
Hey, is that hospital
guy? What's he doing here?
296
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,991
If I play my cards right, hopefully me.
297
00:13:36,929 --> 00:13:39,169
But you can't be on a date.
Brad's gonna be here any minute.
298
00:13:39,170 --> 00:13:40,308
What?! No!
299
00:13:40,309 --> 00:13:42,557
Danny, you were supposed to handle that.
300
00:13:42,885 --> 00:13:46,083
Oh my God! Nothing ruins a good date faster
301
00:13:46,084 --> 00:13:47,903
than your boyfriend showing up!
302
00:13:48,732 --> 00:13:50,451
Oh my God, he's here. Get rid of him.
303
00:13:50,452 --> 00:13:52,347
- Go go go go go.
- Hey, Brad,
304
00:13:52,348 --> 00:13:54,267
a couple... two... three
changes to the plan.
305
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:56,870
Mom is not coming. She might've
said something about Mexico.
306
00:13:57,733 --> 00:13:59,912
Hey, dad. Good, you got my message.
307
00:13:59,913 --> 00:14:00,882
- Mm-hmm.
- Dad?
308
00:14:01,392 --> 00:14:02,681
This is your dad?
309
00:14:03,499 --> 00:14:05,627
Yeah, he drove into town when
he heard I was in the hospital.
310
00:14:05,628 --> 00:14:07,021
You guys are related?!
311
00:14:08,196 --> 00:14:10,945
Yes, that's why I just called him "dad."
312
00:14:10,946 --> 00:14:13,863
- Oh yeah.
- And I may have found his next mom in the hospital.
313
00:14:13,864 --> 00:14:15,333
Seriously? Only you.
314
00:14:15,334 --> 00:14:17,776
This guy could pick up
a widow at a funeral.
315
00:14:17,777 --> 00:14:19,948
- Uh?
- Actually, she's right inside.
316
00:14:19,949 --> 00:14:21,034
Oh! Ooh.
317
00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:23,930
Where did she go?
318
00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:25,984
Well, I know where I need to go...
319
00:14:25,985 --> 00:14:27,905
the bathroom. Nice to meet you.
320
00:14:27,906 --> 00:14:30,031
Dads are great. I love dads!
321
00:14:30,032 --> 00:14:33,443
Where would we be without
dads? Mine's gay! Okay.
322
00:14:35,860 --> 00:14:38,215
Oh, dude, it worked perfectly.
323
00:14:38,216 --> 00:14:39,932
If I knew "I love you"
could get you a date,
324
00:14:39,933 --> 00:14:41,767
it would always be my opening line.
325
00:14:43,038 --> 00:14:45,910
I mean, if you don't mean it, who cares?
326
00:14:45,911 --> 00:14:48,533
(Laughs) I know I don't.
327
00:14:48,534 --> 00:14:51,396
- (Both laugh)
- Dude, I can't wait to try it tonight.
328
00:14:51,397 --> 00:14:52,552
"I love you..."
329
00:14:56,034 --> 00:14:58,486
I should probably find
out what her name is first.
330
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:02,280
Hey, Riley, we were just talking about you.
331
00:15:02,281 --> 00:15:04,412
Did you come to lay down, give up, concede,
332
00:15:04,413 --> 00:15:06,341
slap a big "L" on your forehead? (Laughing)
333
00:15:06,688 --> 00:15:08,799
I'm a gentleman, so lady's choice.
334
00:15:10,318 --> 00:15:12,664
Ben, we need to talk. This bet...
335
00:15:12,665 --> 00:15:14,201
this whole thing is wrong.
336
00:15:14,202 --> 00:15:15,919
You always say that when you lose.
337
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:17,312
She always says that.
338
00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:22,448
It's not that, okay? It's you and Heather.
339
00:15:23,370 --> 00:15:25,277
You and any girl, actually.
340
00:15:26,041 --> 00:15:27,870
Look, I know I said we should be friends
341
00:15:27,871 --> 00:15:30,276
and that it doesn't bother me
to think of you with other women,
342
00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:31,730
but it does.
343
00:15:32,482 --> 00:15:34,851
- What are you saying?
- I'm saying that every time
344
00:15:34,852 --> 00:15:36,417
I think of you and Heather together,
345
00:15:36,418 --> 00:15:38,449
I think, "that shouldn't be her.
346
00:15:39,258 --> 00:15:40,606
That should be me."
347
00:15:42,887 --> 00:15:46,339
Ben, I'm still in love with you.
348
00:15:53,259 --> 00:15:55,349
Okay, well, you kids have a great night.
349
00:15:58,422 --> 00:16:00,941
His son?! Oh my God.
350
00:16:00,942 --> 00:16:03,313
I mean, I knew I had a type, but wow!
351
00:16:03,916 --> 00:16:06,811
- What do I do now?
- Mom, when I was a kid,
352
00:16:06,812 --> 00:16:09,155
what did you always tell me to
do when I was caught in a lie?
353
00:16:09,156 --> 00:16:13,030
- "Go get the belt."
- No, "just tell the truth and all will be forgiven."
354
00:16:13,031 --> 00:16:15,578
Oh, that was your dad. All
right, I'm going out the window.
355
00:16:15,579 --> 00:16:16,726
Assume the position.
356
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:18,824
14 lbs.
357
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:21,953
- (Grumbles)
- Go on. Get.
358
00:16:21,954 --> 00:16:23,591
(Grunts) All right, okay.
359
00:16:23,592 --> 00:16:24,982
All right, here we go.
360
00:16:24,983 --> 00:16:27,225
All right. All right,
this is gonna be perfect.
361
00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:33,666
(Grunts) Danny, I think I'm stuck.
362
00:16:33,667 --> 00:16:35,099
Danny, push me out!
363
00:16:40,048 --> 00:16:42,863
Just touch it! I'll take
you to therapy later!
364
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,200
Come on.
365
00:16:45,975 --> 00:16:47,854
Ah! Come on!
366
00:16:49,154 --> 00:16:51,171
- (Grunts, pants)
- Bonnie?
367
00:16:52,110 --> 00:16:55,770
Brad! Oh, there you are.
368
00:16:56,192 --> 00:16:59,123
You know, I've been
looking all over for you.
369
00:16:59,858 --> 00:17:01,755
- What are you doing?
- Oh, you know,
370
00:17:01,756 --> 00:17:04,748
just hanging out. Yeah.
371
00:17:05,081 --> 00:17:08,356
This is one of my favorite
places in the city.
372
00:17:09,759 --> 00:17:11,911
It's wonderful out here.
373
00:17:11,912 --> 00:17:14,120
But you know what? If you
could maybe just give me a hand.
374
00:17:14,121 --> 00:17:16,555
Just... (Grunts) Give me a hand.
375
00:17:16,556 --> 00:17:17,762
Yeah yeah, of course.
376
00:17:17,763 --> 00:17:19,743
- All right, there you go.
- Okay, one...
377
00:17:19,744 --> 00:17:21,034
- Two...
- Both: Three!
378
00:17:21,035 --> 00:17:22,175
- Pull! Pull!
- (Grunting)
379
00:17:22,176 --> 00:17:23,362
- Pull harder.
- Brad: I can't.
380
00:17:24,991 --> 00:17:27,667
- Harder!
- Bonnie?
381
00:17:29,464 --> 00:17:31,181
Hey, Jimbo.
382
00:17:31,815 --> 00:17:34,704
Jimbo? Wait, how do you know Bonnie?
383
00:17:35,075 --> 00:17:37,171
She's my date. How do you know Bonnie?
384
00:17:37,172 --> 00:17:38,641
She's my girlfriend.
385
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:41,717
(Pants)
386
00:17:41,718 --> 00:17:45,570
Sounds like you two
have a lot to talk about.
387
00:17:45,571 --> 00:17:47,790
- (Laughs)
- I thought you were single.
388
00:17:47,791 --> 00:17:50,480
- Yeah, but...
- Single? Why would you tell him that you're single?
389
00:17:50,481 --> 00:17:52,229
You just told me that you loved me.
390
00:17:52,230 --> 00:17:54,670
Yeah, that's just something
I say to people, you know?
391
00:17:54,671 --> 00:17:57,608
(Shouts) Hey, I love you! I love you, too!
392
00:17:57,609 --> 00:17:59,204
Bonnie, what is going on?
393
00:17:59,205 --> 00:18:00,910
I thought we had something special.
394
00:18:00,911 --> 00:18:02,725
Yeah, Brad, we... we do.
395
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:05,478
We did.
396
00:18:06,315 --> 00:18:07,566
Okay, here's the truth...
397
00:18:08,428 --> 00:18:11,271
at the end of the day, you know,
398
00:18:11,272 --> 00:18:13,897
you're just too immature for me.
399
00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:19,005
I... I need somebody more grounded.
400
00:18:20,773 --> 00:18:23,076
You know what? So do I.
401
00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:25,235
Bonnie, we're done.
402
00:18:27,444 --> 00:18:28,934
Dad, are you coming?
403
00:18:31,008 --> 00:18:32,925
- Well, if you two aren't gonna...
- Yeah.
404
00:18:35,536 --> 00:18:37,475
- Right behind ya, son.
- Okay.
405
00:18:37,806 --> 00:18:39,233
I...
406
00:18:39,234 --> 00:18:42,652
okay, Danny, either pull
me in or push me out, okay?
407
00:18:43,366 --> 00:18:45,973
Danny! Danny!
408
00:18:51,066 --> 00:18:52,544
You're a good son.
409
00:18:54,391 --> 00:18:56,019
You really think we can be together again?
410
00:18:56,020 --> 00:18:57,355
Are you sure you want me back?
411
00:18:57,356 --> 00:19:00,065
Ben, I've never been more sure of anything.
412
00:19:00,978 --> 00:19:02,276
(Knocks on door)
413
00:19:02,788 --> 00:19:04,211
Ben, are you here?
414
00:19:04,212 --> 00:19:05,605
Heather. Hi.
415
00:19:06,167 --> 00:19:07,995
What are you doing here? I thought
we were meeting at the bar...
416
00:19:08,624 --> 00:19:10,647
20 minutes ago. I think
I might be a little late.
417
00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:14,684
Oh, Riley, hi. I hope this
me-and-Ben thing isn't too weird.
418
00:19:15,111 --> 00:19:17,301
You-and-Ben thing?
It's just a stupid date.
419
00:19:17,302 --> 00:19:19,178
Oh, not to me. Ben, you were right.
420
00:19:19,179 --> 00:19:20,487
I don't know why I was fighting it.
421
00:19:20,488 --> 00:19:21,944
I don't think I actually understood
422
00:19:21,945 --> 00:19:24,303
how I truly felt until
you told me you loved me.
423
00:19:24,304 --> 00:19:25,867
Wait, he told you he loved you?
424
00:19:25,868 --> 00:19:27,885
- You told her you loved her?
- Sort of.
425
00:19:28,217 --> 00:19:30,988
Oh, there was no "sort of" about it.
426
00:19:30,989 --> 00:19:33,250
- So, what, you're in love with her now?
- Ben, tell her you love me.
427
00:19:33,251 --> 00:19:35,085
Ben, tell her you love me.
428
00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:37,434
Actually, Heather, the truth is
429
00:19:37,784 --> 00:19:40,616
I just told you I loved you to win a bet.
430
00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:44,792
But now that I've won this,
431
00:19:45,336 --> 00:19:48,116
I guess, thanks for stopping by.
432
00:19:50,618 --> 00:19:53,849
Oh my God, Ben. Telling
someone that you love them
433
00:19:53,850 --> 00:19:57,023
when you don't is just
the lowest of the low.
434
00:19:57,024 --> 00:19:59,379
- Even I wouldn't do that.
- And she is a horrible person.
435
00:19:59,380 --> 00:20:00,494
It's true.
436
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:05,594
(Women laughing)
437
00:20:06,494 --> 00:20:09,095
- Oh, man, you were perfect.
- No, you were perfect.
438
00:20:11,204 --> 00:20:12,680
W-w-wait
a second.
439
00:20:13,116 --> 00:20:14,758
- Did you two...
- Play you?
440
00:20:15,179 --> 00:20:18,379
Take you down? Slap a big
"L" across your forehead?
441
00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:21,040
Yes, Ben Wheeler, take note:
442
00:20:21,041 --> 00:20:23,432
Two girls are better than one,
443
00:20:23,433 --> 00:20:26,356
especially when both of
them wanna get even with you.
444
00:20:26,667 --> 00:20:28,710
- I think we're done here.
- Bye, Ben.
445
00:20:32,193 --> 00:20:34,251
Yo, for the record, I knew the whole time.
446
00:20:36,546 --> 00:20:38,352
Go easy on me, Riley!
447
00:20:40,953 --> 00:20:42,879
Everybody have a seat
448
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,381
And watch me tap my loser feet
449
00:20:45,382 --> 00:20:47,224
I lost a bet, so you're in luck
450
00:20:47,225 --> 00:20:49,463
You get to watch me tell you I suck
451
00:20:49,464 --> 00:20:52,876
I took a dive, I was
slaughtered highly
452
00:20:53,801 --> 00:20:55,163
I wish I was as great
453
00:20:55,164 --> 00:20:57,344
and awesome as Riley.
454
00:20:57,345 --> 00:20:59,516
Yeah! Whoo!
455
00:21:00,424 --> 00:21:03,559
Now that is what I call "deluxe".
456
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:04,753
Oh, you got off easy,
457
00:21:04,754 --> 00:21:07,115
I can't believe you didn't make him do it
in front of a bigger crowd.
458
00:21:07,904 --> 00:21:09,674
Oh I wouldn't worry about that.
459
00:21:10,928 --> 00:21:15,164
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