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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,346 --> 00:00:04,418 [mellow piano music] 2 00:00:12,633 --> 00:00:15,808 [mellow guitar music] 3 00:00:27,958 --> 00:00:28,787 - [Radio Announcer] In the West, 4 00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:30,513 the Royals can clinch that division 5 00:00:30,547 --> 00:00:31,962 with a win over the Angels. 6 00:00:31,997 --> 00:00:35,414 Last night's one-nothing squeaker gave the Royals... 7 00:00:35,449 --> 00:00:37,727 - [Host] And once you get a good rub on that loin, 8 00:00:37,761 --> 00:00:39,073 it's all about smokin' it. 9 00:00:39,108 --> 00:00:41,041 And how long do you normally smoke it? 10 00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:43,871 - [Chef] Well, I smoke it till it can't smoke no more. 11 00:00:43,905 --> 00:00:44,837 - [Commentator] One, nothing lead. 12 00:00:44,872 --> 00:00:46,839 - Good morning, Los Angeles 13 00:00:46,874 --> 00:00:49,256 and welcome to the Mystic Morning Show. 14 00:00:49,290 --> 00:00:50,533 As always on Saturday mornings, 15 00:00:50,567 --> 00:00:53,777 we have The Amazing Fabular in studios 16 00:00:53,812 --> 00:00:56,746 taking your calls and enlightening us all 17 00:00:56,780 --> 00:00:58,851 with his psychic powers. 18 00:00:58,886 --> 00:01:01,889 First up, we have Chaz from Mar Vista. 19 00:01:01,923 --> 00:01:03,304 Good morning, Chaz. 20 00:01:03,339 --> 00:01:04,581 - Mornin'. 21 00:01:04,616 --> 00:01:06,549 - [Deejay] What can Fabular do for you? 22 00:01:06,583 --> 00:01:09,552 - Well, I'd just like to know where my dog Petey is. 23 00:01:09,586 --> 00:01:14,591 He went missin' about three weeks ago and I really miss him. 24 00:01:17,146 --> 00:01:18,733 - I'm seeing a dog. 25 00:01:20,425 --> 00:01:23,117 A medium-sized dog. 26 00:01:23,152 --> 00:01:25,637 - [Chaz] Oh, he was pretty big, actually. 27 00:01:25,671 --> 00:01:29,434 - Yes, a medium large dog. 28 00:01:32,161 --> 00:01:34,232 Who's the B? 29 00:01:34,266 --> 00:01:36,165 [stammers] 30 00:01:36,199 --> 00:01:37,994 I'm getting a strong sense of B. 31 00:01:38,028 --> 00:01:38,891 Who's the B? 32 00:01:38,926 --> 00:01:39,858 - [Chaz] My wife! 33 00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:41,342 My wife's name is Barbara! 34 00:01:41,377 --> 00:01:42,171 - Yes. 35 00:01:43,379 --> 00:01:45,898 She is upset that the dog is lost. 36 00:01:45,933 --> 00:01:49,833 - [Chaz] Oh, no, she didn't like the dog at all. 37 00:01:49,868 --> 00:01:51,628 - And by that, I mean she is upset 38 00:01:51,663 --> 00:01:54,942 with you that the dog is lost. 39 00:01:54,976 --> 00:01:56,668 - Yep, she wants me to give up on him. 40 00:01:56,702 --> 00:01:57,945 - [The Amazing Fabular] But you mustn't. 41 00:01:57,979 --> 00:02:00,050 - No, no, that's right. 42 00:02:00,085 --> 00:02:03,882 [The Amazing Fabular moaning] 43 00:02:05,677 --> 00:02:07,886 - I've got great news for you, Charles. 44 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:09,129 - [Chaz] Chaz. 45 00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:11,890 - Charles, Petey is on his way home to you right now. 46 00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:12,718 - [Chaz] Really? 47 00:02:12,753 --> 00:02:13,650 That's great. 48 00:02:13,685 --> 00:02:16,791 Thank you, thank you, Fabular! 49 00:02:16,826 --> 00:02:19,242 - I don't create what I see. 50 00:02:19,277 --> 00:02:20,864 I am merely the messenger. 51 00:02:20,899 --> 00:02:22,349 - [Chaz] I'm comin', Petey! 52 00:02:22,383 --> 00:02:25,006 - Thanks for the call, Chaz, and good luck with Petey. 53 00:02:25,041 --> 00:02:29,183 Next up we have Jim McElroy from Monterey Park. 54 00:02:29,218 --> 00:02:31,634 What can Fabular do for you? 55 00:02:31,668 --> 00:02:33,153 - [Jim] Who? 56 00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:37,260 I want to know why Fabular told my wife, Mildred, 57 00:02:37,295 --> 00:02:41,195 I was sleeping with her sister...she's dead. 58 00:02:41,506 --> 00:02:45,303 - The truth is liberating but also very painful. 59 00:02:45,337 --> 00:02:46,304 - [Jim] Painful? 60 00:02:46,338 --> 00:02:49,445 I'm 95, I can't even take a piss. 61 00:02:49,479 --> 00:02:51,412 How the F...[beep] am I going to?... 62 00:02:51,447 --> 00:02:52,689 - Let it out. 63 00:02:52,724 --> 00:02:53,932 Let the pain out. - [Jim] ...Oh dear lord. [coughs] [beep] 64 00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:56,693 - All right, next up on line three, 65 00:02:56,728 --> 00:03:01,560 we have Josephine from Rancho Cucamonga! 66 00:03:01,595 --> 00:03:04,598 - [Josephine] Good morning, Fabular. 67 00:03:05,737 --> 00:03:07,325 Fabular? 68 00:03:07,359 --> 00:03:08,188 - Fabular? 69 00:03:10,535 --> 00:03:12,192 - [Josephine] Hello? 70 00:03:13,676 --> 00:03:14,918 - Maybe now might be a good time 71 00:03:14,953 --> 00:03:17,024 to take a short commercial break 72 00:03:17,058 --> 00:03:21,787 while Fabular takes a meditation. 73 00:03:22,063 --> 00:03:23,962 You okay, buddy? 74 00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:25,998 [tense music] 75 00:03:26,033 --> 00:03:26,861 You okay? 76 00:03:29,485 --> 00:03:30,313 - Mason. 77 00:03:31,349 --> 00:03:34,041 [upbeat music] 78 00:03:44,051 --> 00:03:45,259 - She's all yours, Jimmy. 79 00:03:45,294 --> 00:03:46,709 - Sure thing, Mr. Pearson. 80 00:03:46,743 --> 00:03:48,538 And thanks for that tip last week. 81 00:03:48,573 --> 00:03:50,644 - Did I give you a big tip last week? 82 00:03:50,678 --> 00:03:52,024 Oh, the advice. 83 00:03:52,059 --> 00:03:52,887 How'd that go? 84 00:03:52,922 --> 00:03:55,235 - She broke up with me. 85 00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:56,063 - I see. 86 00:03:58,099 --> 00:03:59,377 Keep the change. 87 00:04:00,964 --> 00:04:01,793 - Thanks. 88 00:04:05,210 --> 00:04:07,350 - Hey, it's the I Hate Kids guy! 89 00:04:07,385 --> 00:04:08,248 - My god. 90 00:04:09,145 --> 00:04:10,836 - Oh, yeah, yeah, that's me. 91 00:04:10,871 --> 00:04:12,010 - This is so cool! 92 00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:14,323 I have been waiting here all day. 93 00:04:14,357 --> 00:04:15,462 Will you sign this for me? 94 00:04:15,496 --> 00:04:17,429 - Yeah, of course. 95 00:04:17,464 --> 00:04:19,707 - Man, you are a total genius. 96 00:04:19,742 --> 00:04:20,950 - Oh! 97 00:04:20,984 --> 00:04:23,884 - It's like you're inside my head. 98 00:04:23,918 --> 00:04:26,300 When I found out I was gonna have that one, 99 00:04:26,335 --> 00:04:30,062 I sat in my garage and tried to think of ways to end it all. 100 00:04:30,097 --> 00:04:31,512 - Well, the book's really more tongue in cheek 101 00:04:31,547 --> 00:04:33,134 for those who choose not to have kids. 102 00:04:33,169 --> 00:04:34,550 - Exactly! 103 00:04:34,584 --> 00:04:36,206 You totally blew my mind! 104 00:04:36,241 --> 00:04:37,932 I was like, if I ever meet this guy, 105 00:04:37,967 --> 00:04:39,934 we are gonna be best friends 106 00:04:39,969 --> 00:04:43,869 'cause having kids is beyond life ruining 107 00:04:43,904 --> 00:04:45,112 and you get it, bro. 108 00:04:45,146 --> 00:04:46,044 You get it! 109 00:04:47,217 --> 00:04:48,218 - Here ya go. 110 00:04:51,014 --> 00:04:52,292 - [Fan] Oh, yeah! 111 00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:53,154 - Wow. 112 00:04:54,052 --> 00:04:54,984 That's enough. 113 00:04:55,018 --> 00:04:56,019 Thanks, buddy, that's enough. 114 00:04:56,054 --> 00:04:57,297 Okay, I gotta. 115 00:04:59,264 --> 00:05:00,265 Great meeting you. 116 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,577 Take care, kids. 117 00:05:05,028 --> 00:05:06,478 - Hey! 118 00:05:06,513 --> 00:05:07,445 You know who that is? 119 00:05:07,479 --> 00:05:08,480 You know who that is? 120 00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:12,657 - A little late, aren't we, Nick? 121 00:05:12,691 --> 00:05:13,934 - Yeah, I'm a little late, Walter. 122 00:05:13,968 --> 00:05:15,142 I'm a little late. 123 00:05:15,176 --> 00:05:17,731 I'm gonna need a shot of liquid courage. 124 00:05:17,765 --> 00:05:19,215 What do you suggest? 125 00:05:19,249 --> 00:05:21,631 - Well, if you were 15 minutes late, I'd say wine 126 00:05:21,666 --> 00:05:24,254 but since you've crossed over the lateness equator, 127 00:05:24,289 --> 00:05:26,774 I think we're looking at bourbon. 128 00:05:26,809 --> 00:05:29,087 - It's your professionalism I admire, Walter. 129 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:30,330 Bourbon, it is. 130 00:05:31,572 --> 00:05:32,401 Perfect. 131 00:05:33,609 --> 00:05:35,196 - You know, I finally finished your book 132 00:05:35,231 --> 00:05:37,820 and I caught you on Kelly and Ryan the other day. 133 00:05:37,854 --> 00:05:39,166 You're making quite a stir with this whole 134 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,133 I Hate Kids thing. 135 00:05:41,168 --> 00:05:42,480 - Mm-hmm. 136 00:05:42,514 --> 00:05:44,309 - Kelly wasn't having any of it. 137 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,448 - No, she certainly was not. 138 00:05:45,483 --> 00:05:46,932 - No, she wasn't. 139 00:05:48,106 --> 00:05:49,003 - Luckily I have a woman back here 140 00:05:49,038 --> 00:05:51,523 who is more than okay with it. 141 00:05:53,111 --> 00:05:55,424 Better not keep her waiting. 142 00:05:56,908 --> 00:05:57,978 Wish me luck. 143 00:05:59,462 --> 00:06:00,118 [knocks on wood] 144 00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:01,050 - Good luck. 145 00:06:01,947 --> 00:06:04,950 [people chattering] 146 00:06:05,813 --> 00:06:07,125 - Sorry I'm late, folks. 147 00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:09,783 You know how these book tour press junkets go. 148 00:06:09,817 --> 00:06:11,371 Hey, Mom, hey, Dad. 149 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,821 Hey, bro. 150 00:06:13,856 --> 00:06:14,650 Hi, Kelly. 151 00:06:14,684 --> 00:06:15,513 - Oh. 152 00:06:19,206 --> 00:06:20,103 - You're lucky I love you. 153 00:06:20,138 --> 00:06:21,381 You do know what will happen 154 00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:22,658 if you're late to the actual wedding, right? 155 00:06:22,692 --> 00:06:23,900 - Of course. 156 00:06:23,935 --> 00:06:27,559 That's why I had my lawyer make you executor of the will. 157 00:06:27,594 --> 00:06:29,734 Well, I know that we just wanna thank you all 158 00:06:29,768 --> 00:06:32,426 for being here with us on this special occasion. 159 00:06:32,461 --> 00:06:37,431 I wanna make a toast to the bravest woman I have ever met. 160 00:06:38,328 --> 00:06:39,985 Anyone who can get hitched 161 00:06:40,020 --> 00:06:44,473 to such a humongous bag of hot air is truly one of a kind. 162 00:06:44,507 --> 00:06:46,509 [guests laughing] 163 00:06:46,544 --> 00:06:48,304 So here's to Sydney's mom. 164 00:06:48,338 --> 00:06:51,756 [guests laughing] 165 00:06:51,790 --> 00:06:53,930 Sorry, Phil, I couldn't resist. 166 00:06:53,965 --> 00:06:55,415 Jeez! 167 00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:56,830 Reverend! 168 00:06:56,864 --> 00:06:58,556 - And Nick does not consider the evening a success 169 00:06:58,590 --> 00:07:01,835 unless bourbon comes out of Reverend McGooley's nose. 170 00:07:01,869 --> 00:07:04,113 - Sorry, reverend, it's the good stuff. 171 00:07:04,147 --> 00:07:06,080 - We're off to a great start. 172 00:07:06,115 --> 00:07:07,427 - Here we go, folks. 173 00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:08,738 Hang in there. - Are you okay? 174 00:07:08,773 --> 00:07:10,326 All right. 175 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:11,258 He's good. 176 00:07:11,292 --> 00:07:14,123 [guests laughing] 177 00:07:14,157 --> 00:07:17,126 Okay, my turn. 178 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:24,167 When I first met Nick last year, I was moderately impressed. 179 00:07:25,548 --> 00:07:28,517 He is clever, he is devilishly handsome 180 00:07:28,551 --> 00:07:30,139 and handsomely devilish. 181 00:07:30,173 --> 00:07:33,383 He keeps me laughing and he is smart enough to know 182 00:07:33,418 --> 00:07:35,869 when he has lost an argument. 183 00:07:35,903 --> 00:07:38,906 But I knew that he was the man of my dreams 184 00:07:38,941 --> 00:07:43,014 when he spoke these three precious words to me. 185 00:07:43,048 --> 00:07:44,636 I hate kids. 186 00:07:44,671 --> 00:07:47,501 [guests laughing] 187 00:07:48,019 --> 00:07:48,916 - What? 188 00:07:48,951 --> 00:07:51,919 - Well, we're having a baby, so. 189 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:56,130 - And since my brave and very beautiful sister Kelly 190 00:07:56,165 --> 00:07:58,961 is handling the creation of grandchildren, 191 00:07:58,995 --> 00:08:00,790 it frees Nick and I up to pursue 192 00:08:00,825 --> 00:08:03,483 a much less complicated life together. 193 00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:06,106 Besides, over the years I've managed to kill a hamster, 194 00:08:06,140 --> 00:08:09,385 a gerbil, two turtles and a horse. 195 00:08:09,419 --> 00:08:10,731 - A horse? 196 00:08:10,766 --> 00:08:12,284 - That was a joke, the horse. 197 00:08:12,319 --> 00:08:14,148 I didn't kill a horse. 198 00:08:15,184 --> 00:08:17,842 But my record as a care provider is less than stellar 199 00:08:17,876 --> 00:08:21,570 so here's to a lifetime of adventures. 200 00:08:21,604 --> 00:08:23,088 Just the two of us. 201 00:08:23,123 --> 00:08:24,642 - [Guests] Cheers! 202 00:08:24,676 --> 00:08:25,505 Cheers! 203 00:08:31,787 --> 00:08:33,616 - Can I help you, sir? 204 00:08:35,031 --> 00:08:36,895 - I think I need a drink. 205 00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:38,276 - What'll it be? 206 00:08:39,657 --> 00:08:43,661 - Something sweet with bubbles and a splash of grenadine. 207 00:08:43,695 --> 00:08:45,041 - Sounds serious. 208 00:08:45,076 --> 00:08:47,216 - It's very serious. 209 00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:48,907 - Do you wanna talk about it? 210 00:08:48,942 --> 00:08:51,185 - It's family stuff. 211 00:08:51,220 --> 00:08:52,290 - Here ya go. 212 00:09:03,266 --> 00:09:04,544 - Thanks. 213 00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:06,407 - It's okay. 214 00:09:06,442 --> 00:09:07,305 It's on the house. 215 00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:08,927 - Thanks. 216 00:09:08,962 --> 00:09:11,067 Do you know where the Pearson party is? 217 00:09:11,102 --> 00:09:12,310 - Yeah, it's down the hall, 218 00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:15,106 first set of double doors on the left. 219 00:09:16,728 --> 00:09:17,971 - Wish me luck. 220 00:09:19,386 --> 00:09:20,387 - Good luck. 221 00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:24,840 - Okay, I will start the ceremony 222 00:09:24,874 --> 00:09:27,290 with a little introduction like, 223 00:09:27,325 --> 00:09:29,223 dearly beloved, we are gathered here today 224 00:09:29,258 --> 00:09:34,056 in the presence of God to join Nicholas Buchanan Pearson 225 00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:35,022 - That's me. 226 00:09:35,057 --> 00:09:37,715 and Sydney Dell Bartlett in holy matrimony. 227 00:09:37,749 --> 00:09:39,233 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 228 00:09:39,268 --> 00:09:42,927 Di da di da, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. 229 00:09:42,961 --> 00:09:45,723 And then I'm required by the collar to ask 230 00:09:45,757 --> 00:09:49,381 be there anyone here today who knows of any reason 231 00:09:49,416 --> 00:09:53,489 why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony? 232 00:09:53,523 --> 00:09:57,597 Speak now or forever hold your peace. 233 00:09:58,528 --> 00:09:59,529 - Excuse me. 234 00:10:01,048 --> 00:10:02,705 - Can I help you, young man? 235 00:10:02,740 --> 00:10:03,706 - I do. 236 00:10:03,741 --> 00:10:04,880 - You do what? 237 00:10:04,914 --> 00:10:06,640 [group laughs] 238 00:10:06,675 --> 00:10:07,572 - Well, I mean, this seemed like 239 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,436 the perfect moment to say it 240 00:10:09,470 --> 00:10:12,335 since you asked the question, right? 241 00:10:12,370 --> 00:10:13,267 - What's goin' on, buddy? 242 00:10:13,302 --> 00:10:15,856 What are you talkin' about? 243 00:10:15,891 --> 00:10:17,478 - You're my father. 244 00:10:19,446 --> 00:10:21,931 - It was just one night. 245 00:10:21,966 --> 00:10:22,967 - Not you, sir. 246 00:10:23,001 --> 00:10:24,831 No, him. 247 00:10:26,591 --> 00:10:28,248 He's my father. 248 00:10:28,282 --> 00:10:30,215 - I'm your dad? 249 00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:32,908 - Yes, you're my father. 250 00:10:32,942 --> 00:10:34,634 - Who is this, Nick? 251 00:10:35,704 --> 00:10:36,981 Who is this? 252 00:10:37,015 --> 00:10:37,982 - Oh, ha, ha, ha. 253 00:10:38,016 --> 00:10:40,674 Very funny, hilarious! 254 00:10:40,709 --> 00:10:44,816 Whose inappropriate little caper is this, Larry? 255 00:10:44,851 --> 00:10:45,783 Brian, you do this? 256 00:10:45,817 --> 00:10:47,198 No. 257 00:10:47,232 --> 00:10:48,199 Simon? 258 00:10:48,233 --> 00:10:49,441 No. - Not me. 259 00:10:49,476 --> 00:10:51,029 - Was it any of these guys 'cause-- 260 00:10:51,064 --> 00:10:53,722 - I don't know who these people are. 261 00:10:53,756 --> 00:10:55,793 Ooh, is that cake? 262 00:10:55,827 --> 00:10:57,104 I love cake. 263 00:10:57,139 --> 00:10:58,899 - All right, son. 264 00:10:58,934 --> 00:11:01,384 You've had your little joke. 265 00:11:01,419 --> 00:11:03,214 Now just move along. 266 00:11:03,248 --> 00:11:05,250 - It's not a joke, ma'am. 267 00:11:05,285 --> 00:11:06,735 He's my dad. 268 00:11:06,769 --> 00:11:09,358 - All right, well, in typical fashion, 269 00:11:09,392 --> 00:11:11,567 my ingenious friends at The Jonathan Club 270 00:11:11,601 --> 00:11:14,397 just don't know when to end the sketch. 271 00:11:14,432 --> 00:11:15,916 I'm just gonna take a moment 272 00:11:15,951 --> 00:11:19,402 to tip this little thespian for his stirring performance 273 00:11:19,437 --> 00:11:23,199 and I'll be back before you finish your cake. 274 00:11:24,753 --> 00:11:27,031 All right, I'm afraid I'm unaware of the protocols 275 00:11:27,065 --> 00:11:29,689 when it comes to gratuities for embarrassment 276 00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:31,035 so bear with me. 277 00:11:32,312 --> 00:11:34,038 50 gonna do it? 278 00:11:34,072 --> 00:11:35,073 - What are you talking about? 279 00:11:35,108 --> 00:11:36,247 - I am talking about your tip. 280 00:11:36,281 --> 00:11:37,593 Just take it and tell whoever sent you 281 00:11:37,627 --> 00:11:39,526 that you did an absolutely smashing job 282 00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:41,045 of disrupting my evening. 283 00:11:41,079 --> 00:11:42,322 - I don't want your money. 284 00:11:42,356 --> 00:11:43,288 - Look, kid, take it. 285 00:11:43,323 --> 00:11:44,738 I'm not usually this generous. 286 00:11:44,773 --> 00:11:48,052 - Listen, I need you to find my mom. 287 00:11:48,086 --> 00:11:49,329 - Buddy, I don't know you 288 00:11:49,363 --> 00:11:50,882 so I wouldn't know who your mother is. 289 00:11:50,917 --> 00:11:53,678 - Well, you must have known her, at least a little bit. 290 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:54,506 - Why? 291 00:11:54,541 --> 00:11:55,542 - Because you're my dad. 292 00:11:55,576 --> 00:11:56,439 - Look, stop saying that. 293 00:11:56,474 --> 00:11:57,199 I'm not your dad. 294 00:11:57,233 --> 00:11:57,889 - But you are. - No, I'm not. 295 00:11:57,924 --> 00:11:58,787 - Yes, you are. - I'm not! 296 00:11:58,821 --> 00:12:00,512 - Yes, you are! - Stop contradicting me. 297 00:12:00,547 --> 00:12:01,306 - See? 298 00:12:01,341 --> 00:12:02,135 You sound like a father. 299 00:12:02,169 --> 00:12:03,101 - I do not. 300 00:12:03,136 --> 00:12:03,895 - Yes, you do. - I do not. 301 00:12:03,930 --> 00:12:04,965 - But really, you do. 302 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,587 - Look, this is ridiculous. 303 00:12:06,622 --> 00:12:07,968 No, thank you, we're all set. 304 00:12:08,003 --> 00:12:08,900 - What does he want? 305 00:12:08,935 --> 00:12:09,659 - He wants to give us a towel. 306 00:12:09,694 --> 00:12:10,488 - Why? 307 00:12:10,522 --> 00:12:11,765 - 'Cause it's his job. 308 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:12,904 - Well, why don't you take a towel and let him do his job? 309 00:12:12,939 --> 00:12:13,733 - 'Cause I don't want a towel! 310 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:14,734 I wanna get rid of you and get back 311 00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:15,838 to my wedding rehearsal. - Thanks. 312 00:12:15,873 --> 00:12:17,012 Can I keep this? 313 00:12:17,046 --> 00:12:17,909 - No, yes, whatever, I don't care. 314 00:12:17,944 --> 00:12:19,117 I don't care at all. 315 00:12:19,152 --> 00:12:20,912 Just take the money, kid, and get outta here. 316 00:12:20,947 --> 00:12:22,258 - Nick? 317 00:12:22,293 --> 00:12:24,122 What's going on? 318 00:12:24,157 --> 00:12:24,951 - Is she supposed to be in here? 319 00:12:24,985 --> 00:12:26,159 - [Nick And Sydney] No. 320 00:12:26,193 --> 00:12:27,091 - Don't worry, Syd, I'm handling it. 321 00:12:27,125 --> 00:12:28,575 - Everyone's waiting for you. 322 00:12:28,609 --> 00:12:29,887 - Did you know this man gives free towels to people? 323 00:12:29,921 --> 00:12:31,923 - Oh, hi, thank you. 324 00:12:31,958 --> 00:12:33,511 Nick, do you have a...? 325 00:12:33,545 --> 00:12:34,961 - Yes, here, thank you so much. 326 00:12:34,995 --> 00:12:36,790 - Gotta go, coming through. - That's for the towels. 327 00:12:36,825 --> 00:12:39,068 Look, Syd, I'll be right there, okay? 328 00:12:39,103 --> 00:12:40,311 I'm just wrapping things up 329 00:12:40,345 --> 00:12:41,519 with our wonderful performer there. 330 00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:42,692 - Okay, please hurry. 331 00:12:42,727 --> 00:12:43,763 - Yeah, two minutes, love. 332 00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:44,625 I promise. 333 00:12:47,007 --> 00:12:48,526 - So what's the plan, Dad? 334 00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:49,354 - Stop calling me that, all right? 335 00:12:49,389 --> 00:12:50,804 I'm not your dad. 336 00:12:50,839 --> 00:12:52,910 Where'd you get that stupid idea from anyway, huh? 337 00:12:52,944 --> 00:12:54,497 - From him. 338 00:12:54,532 --> 00:12:55,809 - How do you do? 339 00:12:57,742 --> 00:13:00,227 I am The Amazing Fabular. 340 00:13:00,262 --> 00:13:01,815 - What is that, a service rat? 341 00:13:01,850 --> 00:13:03,679 - Mr. Sparkles is a dog. 342 00:13:03,713 --> 00:13:05,301 He is my portal to other dimensions 343 00:13:05,336 --> 00:13:06,613 of sight and sound that provide me 344 00:13:06,647 --> 00:13:09,133 with the gift of clairvoyance. 345 00:13:09,167 --> 00:13:11,687 - Oh, you're a fortune teller? 346 00:13:11,998 --> 00:13:12,930 [laughs] 347 00:13:12,964 --> 00:13:15,415 - I am a world-class psychic, sir. 348 00:13:15,449 --> 00:13:17,279 I have clients among persons 349 00:13:17,313 --> 00:13:19,695 of the most well-known celebrity and high society. 350 00:13:19,729 --> 00:13:22,871 - Yeah, and here you are in the men's room. 351 00:13:22,905 --> 00:13:24,907 - Hmm, as unaccustomed as I am 352 00:13:24,942 --> 00:13:26,564 to having to avouch my credentials 353 00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:28,359 within earshot of a public commode, 354 00:13:28,393 --> 00:13:30,948 I can tell you that unequivocally, this boy tells the truth. 355 00:13:30,982 --> 00:13:32,363 You are his father. 356 00:13:32,397 --> 00:13:33,191 - Oh, yeah? 357 00:13:33,226 --> 00:13:35,676 What makes you so sure? 358 00:13:35,711 --> 00:13:38,162 - Mr. Sparkles told me. 359 00:13:38,196 --> 00:13:40,026 [giggling] 360 00:13:40,060 --> 00:13:42,476 - Oh, excuse me, let me get this straight. 361 00:13:42,511 --> 00:13:44,340 You want me to believe that this man-child here 362 00:13:44,375 --> 00:13:45,721 is the fruit of my loins 363 00:13:45,755 --> 00:13:49,242 because you received a cosmic message 364 00:13:49,276 --> 00:13:50,484 through the strange little rodent 365 00:13:50,519 --> 00:13:51,589 that's tucked in your armpit? 366 00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:52,590 Is that it? 367 00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:54,281 - Precisely, ruff! 368 00:13:54,316 --> 00:13:56,007 - Excuse me, I'm due back on planet Earth. 369 00:13:56,042 --> 00:14:00,632 - Uh-uh, perhaps, these DNA results will convince you. 370 00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:01,564 - DNA what? 371 00:14:08,744 --> 00:14:10,573 - Nicholas, Nicholas! 372 00:14:10,608 --> 00:14:13,611 What is this crap about me gettin' cut off, huh? 373 00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:15,440 It's humiliating. 374 00:14:15,475 --> 00:14:17,891 - Nicholas, what has gotten into you? 375 00:14:17,926 --> 00:14:19,548 I mean, what in the world is going on? 376 00:14:19,582 --> 00:14:21,343 I am very disappointed in you. 377 00:14:21,377 --> 00:14:22,516 - Tell Syd 378 00:14:22,551 --> 00:14:23,379 that I will be right in. - And by the way, 379 00:14:23,414 --> 00:14:25,657 who the, is that kid? 380 00:14:25,692 --> 00:14:27,245 - I will be right back. - Money into this-- 381 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:28,246 - Take the reverend with you. 382 00:14:28,281 --> 00:14:30,939 Get him a drink, get me one, too. 383 00:14:32,423 --> 00:14:34,839 All right, I don't know what to make of this. 384 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:38,739 And you've kind of caught me at an awkward moment so just 385 00:14:38,774 --> 00:14:40,949 meet me at this address at 11 p.m. tonight. 386 00:14:40,983 --> 00:14:42,122 Can you do that? 387 00:14:42,157 --> 00:14:43,158 - Sure. 388 00:14:43,192 --> 00:14:44,642 - All right. 389 00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:45,885 Why don't you take that towel and get rid of that thing 390 00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:48,646 that's hanging from your nostril, kid? 391 00:14:50,337 --> 00:14:51,511 - Thanks, Dad. 392 00:14:52,581 --> 00:14:53,754 [fake laughing] 393 00:14:53,789 --> 00:14:55,273 - See you tonight. 394 00:14:56,965 --> 00:14:58,794 - I see good things in your future. 395 00:14:58,828 --> 00:15:00,969 - Bye, Mom, bye, Dad. 396 00:15:01,003 --> 00:15:03,523 - Goodbye, cake eater. - I love you so, so much. 397 00:15:03,557 --> 00:15:04,834 Thank you for everything. 398 00:15:04,869 --> 00:15:06,043 I'll see you Sunday 399 00:15:06,077 --> 00:15:07,216 at the wedding. - Love you, honey. 400 00:15:07,251 --> 00:15:09,149 - I love you, Dad. - Bye, dear. 401 00:15:09,184 --> 00:15:10,461 - Oh, bye, bye, guys. 402 00:15:10,495 --> 00:15:11,289 - [Sydney] Hey. 403 00:15:11,324 --> 00:15:12,221 - Sorry. 404 00:15:12,256 --> 00:15:13,257 - What was that all about? 405 00:15:13,291 --> 00:15:14,189 - What? 406 00:15:14,223 --> 00:15:16,018 - The whole kid prank thing? 407 00:15:16,053 --> 00:15:16,881 Who would do that? 408 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,089 That's not cool. 409 00:15:18,124 --> 00:15:19,401 - I know, it was so tasteless, right? 410 00:15:19,435 --> 00:15:21,092 And that kid wouldn't tell me who hired him. 411 00:15:21,127 --> 00:15:23,163 He must have been paid a lot of money. 412 00:15:23,198 --> 00:15:23,992 He's a good actor. 413 00:15:24,026 --> 00:15:25,234 - Yeah. 414 00:15:25,269 --> 00:15:27,167 - Anyway, it's an awkward memory now. 415 00:15:27,202 --> 00:15:29,204 Hey, this book publicity has just got me exhausted. 416 00:15:29,238 --> 00:15:31,033 My bed is calling me. 417 00:15:31,068 --> 00:15:32,483 - Oh, yeah, honey, I understand. 418 00:15:32,517 --> 00:15:33,518 Why don't you go get some sleep? 419 00:15:33,553 --> 00:15:34,450 - Okay. - I'm gonna stay 420 00:15:34,485 --> 00:15:35,935 and have a drink with Kelly. 421 00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:38,006 I'm gonna drink, she's gonna eat cake. 422 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:39,145 - [Nick] Okay. 423 00:15:39,179 --> 00:15:39,973 Hey, Syd? 424 00:15:40,008 --> 00:15:40,801 - [Sydney] Yes? 425 00:15:40,836 --> 00:15:41,975 - I love you. 426 00:15:42,010 --> 00:15:43,494 - You'd better, there's no going back now. 427 00:15:43,528 --> 00:15:44,736 But I will see you tomorrow. 428 00:15:44,771 --> 00:15:46,048 We've gotta go over music for the band 429 00:15:46,083 --> 00:15:47,636 and seating arrangements. 430 00:15:47,670 --> 00:15:48,533 - Can't wait. 431 00:15:48,568 --> 00:15:49,914 - Mwah, 10:15! 432 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:50,777 - With bells on! 433 00:15:50,811 --> 00:15:51,640 Okay. 434 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,127 - He seems in a hurry. 435 00:15:56,162 --> 00:15:57,577 - [Sydney] He's dead tired, Kelly. 436 00:15:57,611 --> 00:15:58,785 - Uh-huh. 437 00:15:58,819 --> 00:15:59,959 - [Sydney] What's that supposed to mean? 438 00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,409 - Uh-huh, from the Latin. 439 00:16:02,444 --> 00:16:04,204 Uh meaning he's acting fishy, 440 00:16:04,239 --> 00:16:05,999 and huh meaning he's up to something. 441 00:16:06,034 --> 00:16:07,897 - Okay, spare me your paranoid fantasies. 442 00:16:07,932 --> 00:16:10,314 I know you don't like Nick but you gotta get used to him. 443 00:16:10,348 --> 00:16:12,109 As of Sunday, he's family. 444 00:16:12,143 --> 00:16:13,524 - I like him fine. 445 00:16:13,558 --> 00:16:16,044 He's just, you know, he's a little, 446 00:16:16,078 --> 00:16:17,528 a little too perfect. 447 00:16:17,562 --> 00:16:19,012 - You talking about in bed? 448 00:16:19,047 --> 00:16:19,909 - What? 449 00:16:21,497 --> 00:16:25,432 - Don't hit my belly! - I didn't mean to! 450 00:16:25,467 --> 00:16:26,399 - Can I have your wine? 451 00:16:26,433 --> 00:16:27,227 - No, you can't have wine. 452 00:16:27,262 --> 00:16:28,056 - Can I have a sip? 453 00:16:28,090 --> 00:16:29,678 - No wine, no sips. 454 00:16:35,649 --> 00:16:36,788 - First of all, absolutely no one 455 00:16:36,823 --> 00:16:38,445 can know about this meeting. 456 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,137 Is that clear? 457 00:16:40,171 --> 00:16:41,517 - Perhaps we should talk in code 458 00:16:41,552 --> 00:16:42,932 in case your house has been bugged 459 00:16:42,967 --> 00:16:44,900 by the secret paternity police? 460 00:16:44,934 --> 00:16:46,902 - I'm so glad you're amused by this. 461 00:16:46,936 --> 00:16:48,455 You have no idea what this could do to me. 462 00:16:48,490 --> 00:16:49,836 - Oh, yes, I do. 463 00:16:50,837 --> 00:16:52,425 Scandal! 464 00:16:52,459 --> 00:16:55,083 Man who makes fun of people who have children for a living 465 00:16:55,117 --> 00:16:57,016 doesn't know he has one of his own. 466 00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:58,396 Tabloids love that kind of stuff. 467 00:16:58,431 --> 00:17:00,329 - It's not just that. 468 00:17:00,364 --> 00:17:01,158 It's Sydney. 469 00:17:01,192 --> 00:17:02,642 - Who's he? 470 00:17:02,676 --> 00:17:05,369 - She is my fiancee and we're getting married on Sunday. 471 00:17:05,403 --> 00:17:06,335 - What's wrong? 472 00:17:06,370 --> 00:17:08,303 You don't think she'll like me? 473 00:17:08,337 --> 00:17:11,202 - Well, children aren't part of our plan. 474 00:17:11,237 --> 00:17:13,411 - Well, you should have made that plan before you made me. 475 00:17:13,446 --> 00:17:15,551 - Preach the gospel. 476 00:17:15,586 --> 00:17:17,657 - That's insane. 477 00:17:17,691 --> 00:17:21,074 How do I even know that this is my DNA? 478 00:17:21,109 --> 00:17:23,456 - Well, about six months ago, 479 00:17:23,490 --> 00:17:25,492 I was listening to Fabular's radio show. 480 00:17:25,527 --> 00:17:27,563 - [Deejay] Saturday mornings, we have The Amazing Fabular. 481 00:17:27,598 --> 00:17:29,841 - Which I really like to listen to every Saturday. 482 00:17:29,876 --> 00:17:32,465 I like the extra sensory perception and stuff. 483 00:17:32,499 --> 00:17:36,365 And all of a sudden, The Amazing Fabular says-- 484 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:37,228 - Mason? 485 00:17:38,402 --> 00:17:40,576 I know who your father is. 486 00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:44,856 - So of course I'm like, wait a second. 487 00:17:44,891 --> 00:17:49,033 My name is Mason so maybe I'm the Mason he's talking about. 488 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:52,450 So I call up the show and Fabular tells me it's me 489 00:17:52,485 --> 00:17:56,834 and that my dad's a famous writer named Nick Pearson. 490 00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:57,869 That's you. 491 00:17:59,181 --> 00:18:00,734 - Yes, I know that that's me. 492 00:18:00,769 --> 00:18:02,219 - I mean, what are the odds? 493 00:18:02,253 --> 00:18:04,980 Crazy ones, if you think about it because when I was born, 494 00:18:05,014 --> 00:18:07,120 Mason was a super popular name, 495 00:18:07,155 --> 00:18:09,950 so there are like a kajillion Masons. 496 00:18:09,985 --> 00:18:11,124 - Sure, okay. 497 00:18:11,159 --> 00:18:12,677 - So then I went on the internet 498 00:18:12,712 --> 00:18:14,507 and I Googled Nick Pearson. 499 00:18:14,541 --> 00:18:16,612 And a lot of stuff came up about how you write books, 500 00:18:16,647 --> 00:18:18,718 about how you hate kids and little dogs. 501 00:18:18,752 --> 00:18:20,064 - Yeah, and I hate psychics. 502 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,031 - Where are your manners? 503 00:18:22,066 --> 00:18:24,206 - Go on, come on. 504 00:18:24,241 --> 00:18:26,001 Get to the DNA bit. 505 00:18:26,035 --> 00:18:28,797 - Right, well, I needed some part of your body. 506 00:18:28,831 --> 00:18:30,799 So I went on eBay and I found somebody 507 00:18:30,833 --> 00:18:32,387 selling a lock of your hair. 508 00:18:32,421 --> 00:18:33,491 - What? 509 00:18:33,526 --> 00:18:35,114 - Yeah, it's your barber. 510 00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:36,943 He collects the hair of his famous clients 511 00:18:36,977 --> 00:18:38,738 and sells it on eBay. 512 00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:42,190 - That could be anybody's hair. 513 00:18:42,224 --> 00:18:44,468 - Is your barber named Nino Spaghettios? 514 00:18:44,502 --> 00:18:46,297 - Nino Spanetti. 515 00:18:46,332 --> 00:18:48,023 Oh, my god. 516 00:18:48,057 --> 00:18:51,371 - So then I bid on the auction and I won. 517 00:18:51,406 --> 00:18:55,237 Then I found a place on the internet that does DNA testing. 518 00:18:55,272 --> 00:19:00,104 So I cut off a piece of my hair and sent in those samples. 519 00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:05,040 A few weeks later, the results came back. 520 00:19:07,318 --> 00:19:08,906 It was a match! 521 00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:09,872 Yes! 522 00:19:09,907 --> 00:19:10,735 Yes, yes! 523 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,083 So then I called The Amazing Fabular to tell him 524 00:19:14,118 --> 00:19:15,913 and he said he wanted see the look on your face 525 00:19:15,947 --> 00:19:17,397 when I told you. 526 00:19:17,432 --> 00:19:20,435 - There's nothing like live theater. 527 00:19:24,749 --> 00:19:27,200 - I know what I'm gonna title my next book. 528 00:19:27,235 --> 00:19:31,100 I Hate the Internet and Hairstylists. 529 00:19:31,135 --> 00:19:33,137 - Don't forget psychics. 530 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:35,967 - All right. 531 00:19:37,245 --> 00:19:38,867 What do you want, kid? 532 00:19:38,901 --> 00:19:40,386 - I just wanna find my mom. 533 00:19:40,420 --> 00:19:41,387 - Your mom? 534 00:19:42,526 --> 00:19:44,631 Who's been taking care of you all these years? 535 00:19:44,666 --> 00:19:46,806 - I have a foster mother. 536 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:48,428 Annie Gordon. 537 00:19:48,463 --> 00:19:50,085 This is really good, Annie. 538 00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:52,846 But she's getting really old. 539 00:19:52,881 --> 00:19:54,814 And she has narcolepsy. 540 00:19:57,092 --> 00:19:58,266 Annie? 541 00:19:58,300 --> 00:19:59,784 She can't take care of herself anymore 542 00:19:59,819 --> 00:20:02,822 so she's being moved into a home 543 00:20:02,856 --> 00:20:05,894 which means I'll end up back in foster care. 544 00:20:05,928 --> 00:20:09,829 That's why she let me come here with Fabular to find my mom. 545 00:20:09,863 --> 00:20:13,764 - A wise, wise woman, with an acute sense of character. 546 00:20:13,798 --> 00:20:16,629 I imagine she wouldn't like you very much. 547 00:20:16,663 --> 00:20:18,976 - Look, I know you don't want me, Nick 548 00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:20,633 because you're famous for hating kids and all. 549 00:20:20,667 --> 00:20:24,326 - No, I don't exactly hate kids. 550 00:20:24,844 --> 00:20:28,675 - You're the only one who knows who my mom is. 551 00:20:32,748 --> 00:20:34,750 - Okay, how old are you? 552 00:20:35,717 --> 00:20:36,511 - 13. 553 00:20:37,512 --> 00:20:38,720 - 13 plus nine. 554 00:20:40,584 --> 00:20:43,759 Where was I 14 years ago? 555 00:20:46,417 --> 00:20:47,936 Oh, my god. 556 00:20:47,970 --> 00:20:51,319 All right, this is gonna be more difficult than I thought. 557 00:20:51,353 --> 00:20:55,978 Let's say I was acquainted with a lotta different ladies 558 00:20:56,013 --> 00:20:57,532 at that time of my life. 559 00:20:57,566 --> 00:20:58,602 - How quaint. 560 00:20:58,636 --> 00:20:59,844 - And that's the other issue. 561 00:20:59,879 --> 00:21:03,538 I don't want my fiancee or my in-laws to know about this 562 00:21:03,572 --> 00:21:05,678 bountiful romantic history of mine. 563 00:21:05,712 --> 00:21:07,611 - You have such a way with words. 564 00:21:07,645 --> 00:21:09,785 You really should be writing cards for Hallmark. 565 00:21:09,820 --> 00:21:11,511 - Hey, if you're such a good psychic, 566 00:21:11,546 --> 00:21:14,238 how come you can't see who his mother is? 567 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,275 - Because this journey was meant 568 00:21:16,309 --> 00:21:17,690 for the both of you to take together. 569 00:21:17,724 --> 00:21:19,347 Isn't that right, Mr. Sparkles? 570 00:21:19,381 --> 00:21:20,071 [barks] 571 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:23,282 - All right. 572 00:21:26,008 --> 00:21:29,702 Despite the chorus of voices in my head 573 00:21:29,736 --> 00:21:30,944 that are screaming like banshees 574 00:21:30,979 --> 00:21:34,154 to run like hell from you two weirdos, 575 00:21:35,949 --> 00:21:37,226 I'll help you. 576 00:21:37,261 --> 00:21:38,676 - Really? 577 00:21:38,711 --> 00:21:43,129 - But the deal is I will give you two days of my time 578 00:21:43,163 --> 00:21:46,235 and if we don't discover who your mom is by then, 579 00:21:46,270 --> 00:21:47,444 you move on, I move on 580 00:21:47,478 --> 00:21:48,928 and we close this chapter of our lives. 581 00:21:48,962 --> 00:21:49,998 Is that clear? 582 00:21:50,032 --> 00:21:50,826 - Deal. 583 00:21:55,624 --> 00:21:57,488 - All right, meet me back here tomorrow morning. 584 00:21:57,523 --> 00:21:59,904 I'll research the possibilities. 585 00:21:59,939 --> 00:22:01,458 And with any luck, I'll wake up 586 00:22:01,492 --> 00:22:05,358 and this will be a bourbon-induced nightmare. 587 00:22:05,393 --> 00:22:06,635 - Let us take leave of this Lothario 588 00:22:06,670 --> 00:22:08,568 and investigate the many places this man 589 00:22:08,603 --> 00:22:10,777 may have planted his seed. 590 00:22:11,985 --> 00:22:13,987 We'll see ourselves out. 591 00:22:14,885 --> 00:22:16,680 - Night, Dad. 592 00:22:16,714 --> 00:22:18,751 - Good night, kid. 593 00:22:18,785 --> 00:22:19,855 - It's Mason. 594 00:22:20,753 --> 00:22:22,410 - Good night, Mason. 595 00:22:32,661 --> 00:22:35,837 [mellow guitar music] 596 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:41,670 - Thank you. 597 00:22:41,705 --> 00:22:42,947 - Thanks, come again. 598 00:22:42,982 --> 00:22:45,260 [phone ringing] 599 00:22:45,294 --> 00:22:46,882 - Hey, sweetheart, where are you? 600 00:22:46,917 --> 00:22:47,780 Don't say late. 601 00:22:47,814 --> 00:22:48,643 - Where is he? 602 00:22:48,677 --> 00:22:50,127 [hushes] 603 00:22:50,161 --> 00:22:53,130 - Hey, look, Syd, a little situation came up. 604 00:22:53,164 --> 00:22:54,476 - A situation? 605 00:22:54,511 --> 00:22:55,650 - Oh, really? 606 00:22:55,684 --> 00:22:56,961 - I said, shush! 607 00:22:56,996 --> 00:22:57,928 - What'd you say? 608 00:22:57,962 --> 00:22:58,756 - Not you, hon. 609 00:22:58,791 --> 00:23:00,275 What's going on? 610 00:23:00,309 --> 00:23:02,967 - Oh, well, so I got a call from Albert this morning. 611 00:23:03,002 --> 00:23:06,419 It turns out one of their college circuit lecturers 612 00:23:06,454 --> 00:23:07,627 dropped out. 613 00:23:07,662 --> 00:23:10,354 I gotta pop up to Santa Barbara and fill in. 614 00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:11,976 - And you agreed? 615 00:23:12,011 --> 00:23:13,530 You've gotta be kidding me, Nick! 616 00:23:13,564 --> 00:23:14,634 - What is it? 617 00:23:14,669 --> 00:23:15,911 What is he doing? - Stop! 618 00:23:15,946 --> 00:23:18,086 - I know that the timing is inconvenient but it's Albert. 619 00:23:18,120 --> 00:23:19,501 It's not like I can say no to him. 620 00:23:19,536 --> 00:23:20,640 He's my publisher, babe. 621 00:23:20,675 --> 00:23:22,228 - A little inconvenient? 622 00:23:22,262 --> 00:23:24,299 The wedding is this Sunday! 623 00:23:24,333 --> 00:23:25,921 I mean, can't they find somebody else? 624 00:23:25,956 --> 00:23:28,268 Maybe somebody who isn't about to celebrate 625 00:23:28,303 --> 00:23:30,754 the most important day of their entire life? 626 00:23:30,788 --> 00:23:32,411 - I'll only be gone a day. 627 00:23:32,445 --> 00:23:33,239 Maybe two. 628 00:23:33,273 --> 00:23:34,171 - Two? 629 00:23:34,205 --> 00:23:36,104 I don't know what to say. 630 00:23:36,138 --> 00:23:37,346 - I'll be back before you know it. 631 00:23:37,381 --> 00:23:39,038 Besides, don't they say it's bad luck 632 00:23:39,072 --> 00:23:41,316 for the groom to see the bride before the wedding? 633 00:23:41,350 --> 00:23:43,939 - But they don't mean the whole weekend! 634 00:23:43,974 --> 00:23:46,701 - And I love how understanding you're being, honey. 635 00:23:46,735 --> 00:23:49,117 - No, I'm actually not being understanding. 636 00:23:49,151 --> 00:23:52,016 This is not the sound of someone being understanding. 637 00:23:52,051 --> 00:23:53,432 Oh, my gosh. 638 00:23:53,466 --> 00:23:55,123 - Okay, so now you suddenly have to disappear 639 00:23:55,157 --> 00:23:56,918 for a few days right before your own wedding? 640 00:23:56,952 --> 00:23:58,471 That sounds pretty suspicious to me, Nick. 641 00:23:58,506 --> 00:24:00,542 - Hey, Kelly, my favorite sister. 642 00:24:00,577 --> 00:24:02,510 - [Kelly] In-law. 643 00:24:02,544 --> 00:24:03,994 - All right, look, I gotta get going 644 00:24:04,028 --> 00:24:06,997 so tell Syd I'll ring her when I get there, bye. 645 00:24:10,656 --> 00:24:12,485 - I'm telling you, he's up to something. 646 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,418 - Maybe it is something good. 647 00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:16,800 Did you ever think of that? 648 00:24:16,834 --> 00:24:20,907 - No, Sydney, there is something he's not telling you. 649 00:24:20,942 --> 00:24:22,081 And I think it has something to do 650 00:24:22,115 --> 00:24:23,910 with that kid from last night. 651 00:24:23,945 --> 00:24:26,326 - Nick just explained the situation 652 00:24:26,361 --> 00:24:28,121 and I have no reason not to trust him. 653 00:24:28,156 --> 00:24:30,020 - I'm just saying. 654 00:24:30,054 --> 00:24:31,228 I have to pee. 655 00:24:32,816 --> 00:24:34,473 Oh, oh, oh, oh! 656 00:24:34,507 --> 00:24:35,681 The baby's kicking! 657 00:24:35,715 --> 00:24:36,509 You wanna feel it? 658 00:24:36,544 --> 00:24:37,786 - No, I'm okay. 659 00:24:37,821 --> 00:24:38,994 - No, no, come on, feel it, feel it. 660 00:24:39,029 --> 00:24:39,926 - No, I actually don't wanna feel it. 661 00:24:39,961 --> 00:24:40,962 - Just feel it for a second. 662 00:24:40,996 --> 00:24:41,652 Just for a second. - Actually, I don't really 663 00:24:41,687 --> 00:24:42,377 want to. - No, come here. 664 00:24:42,411 --> 00:24:45,380 Say hello to your Aunt Sydney! 665 00:24:45,414 --> 00:24:47,313 - Ooh, it's just so weird! 666 00:24:47,347 --> 00:24:48,521 It's so strange! 667 00:24:48,556 --> 00:24:50,903 Why can't human beings just lay eggs 668 00:24:50,937 --> 00:24:53,733 like more sensible species of the animal kingdom? 669 00:24:53,768 --> 00:24:55,632 Like peacocks and platypuses. 670 00:24:55,666 --> 00:24:57,772 It's just so much easier. 671 00:25:05,918 --> 00:25:07,540 - Ow! 672 00:25:07,575 --> 00:25:10,094 [shrieks] 673 00:25:10,129 --> 00:25:11,440 Whoa, what the? 674 00:25:11,475 --> 00:25:12,372 - Surprise. 675 00:25:13,581 --> 00:25:14,754 - How'd you get in here? 676 00:25:14,789 --> 00:25:16,273 - You said to come back in the morning. 677 00:25:16,307 --> 00:25:18,413 The door was unlocked. 678 00:25:18,447 --> 00:25:20,657 - What are you doing to my furniture? 679 00:25:20,691 --> 00:25:22,417 - The feng shui was off. 680 00:25:22,451 --> 00:25:24,350 It simply had to be done. 681 00:25:24,384 --> 00:25:26,352 - Fabular needs room to have a clean aura 682 00:25:26,386 --> 00:25:27,733 to receive messages. 683 00:25:27,767 --> 00:25:29,251 - Yeah? 684 00:25:29,286 --> 00:25:31,391 Is he receiving the message I'm sending him right now? 685 00:25:31,426 --> 00:25:32,807 - Do you loofah? 686 00:25:32,841 --> 00:25:33,773 - Do I what? 687 00:25:33,808 --> 00:25:35,326 - Loofah, I mean, do you loofah? 688 00:25:35,361 --> 00:25:36,155 - I don't loofah. 689 00:25:36,189 --> 00:25:37,466 - You should loofah. 690 00:25:37,501 --> 00:25:39,123 - I don't wanna loofah. 691 00:25:39,158 --> 00:25:40,573 - It removes the dead cells 692 00:25:40,608 --> 00:25:45,129 and helps add a delightful luster to your skin. 693 00:25:45,164 --> 00:25:47,235 - I got a book on the New York Times Best Seller list. 694 00:25:47,269 --> 00:25:49,030 I don't need a delightful luster. 695 00:25:49,306 --> 00:25:50,307 [squishing sound] 696 00:25:52,965 --> 00:25:55,036 [whines] 697 00:25:56,209 --> 00:25:59,834 Your rat took a dump on my carpet. 698 00:26:01,352 --> 00:26:03,665 - Oh, Mr. Sparkles! 699 00:26:03,700 --> 00:26:06,979 Why didn't you tell me you needed to make a stinky? 700 00:26:08,808 --> 00:26:10,983 - Santa Barbara, huh? 701 00:26:11,017 --> 00:26:12,985 Ooh, maybe you should pop by for a surprise visit. 702 00:26:13,019 --> 00:26:14,538 - Ha, ha, that's funny 703 00:26:14,573 --> 00:26:16,540 but we still have to hit the bridal shop and nail salon. 704 00:26:16,575 --> 00:26:18,266 - Okay, I was just saying, I thought it'd be a nice gesture. 705 00:26:18,300 --> 00:26:20,371 - That would be a sneaky and suspicious gesture. 706 00:26:20,406 --> 00:26:21,545 - Only if he's actually there. 707 00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:22,408 - Of course he's there! 708 00:26:22,442 --> 00:26:23,789 Just stop it, Kelly. 709 00:26:23,823 --> 00:26:25,445 There's no way you're getting into my head on this. 710 00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:26,688 - I'm pretty sure I will. 711 00:26:26,723 --> 00:26:28,725 - Just drink your juice. 712 00:26:31,348 --> 00:26:32,832 - Last night, I sorted through all these letters 713 00:26:32,867 --> 00:26:36,042 and address books and I came up with a few possibilities. 714 00:26:36,077 --> 00:26:38,907 - Mmm, I'm sensing something here. 715 00:26:40,184 --> 00:26:41,565 - Oh, I'm so glad you're here 716 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,912 to substantiate all my research. 717 00:26:43,947 --> 00:26:46,225 - I'm getting an A. 718 00:26:46,259 --> 00:26:47,916 A really big A. 719 00:26:47,951 --> 00:26:49,815 - Well, that makes two of us. 720 00:26:49,849 --> 00:26:51,506 - Such darkness! 721 00:26:51,540 --> 00:26:53,957 - Well, I'm filled with darkness before my morning coffee. 722 00:26:53,991 --> 00:26:55,199 - You can make fun of me all you wish 723 00:26:55,234 --> 00:26:56,649 but I'm still the one who identified you 724 00:26:56,684 --> 00:26:57,650 as the boy's father. 725 00:26:57,685 --> 00:26:59,514 - Yep, you keep telling me that. 726 00:26:59,548 --> 00:27:00,929 But I'm the one who had to figure out 727 00:27:00,964 --> 00:27:03,207 which of three Christines might be his mother. 728 00:27:03,242 --> 00:27:04,553 - Three Christine's? 729 00:27:04,588 --> 00:27:05,762 - Yeah, three Christine's, two Jennifer's, 730 00:27:05,796 --> 00:27:07,142 two Barbara's, four Patty's-- 731 00:27:07,177 --> 00:27:09,800 ♪ And a partridge in a pear tree ♪ 732 00:27:09,835 --> 00:27:12,113 - Please don't sing ever again. 733 00:27:12,147 --> 00:27:14,322 All right, the point is anyway that I managed to pinpoint 734 00:27:14,356 --> 00:27:16,427 the ones who mathematically fit the chronology. 735 00:27:16,462 --> 00:27:19,085 And none of them begin with A. 736 00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:22,261 - So then, how do we figure out which one's my mother? 737 00:27:22,295 --> 00:27:23,607 - We're gonna take a little road trip. 738 00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:25,229 I contacted the ladies, they know we're coming, 739 00:27:25,264 --> 00:27:26,886 they just don't know why yet. 740 00:27:26,921 --> 00:27:28,543 - Why wouldn't you just ask them? 741 00:27:28,577 --> 00:27:29,786 - Because I think something as delicate 742 00:27:29,820 --> 00:27:31,339 as one's potential maternity 743 00:27:31,373 --> 00:27:33,755 is probably best discussed face to face. 744 00:27:33,790 --> 00:27:34,687 - Got ya. 745 00:27:34,722 --> 00:27:35,654 - All right, let's get goin'. 746 00:27:35,688 --> 00:27:36,827 We have a large amount of people 747 00:27:36,862 --> 00:27:38,208 to cover in a small amount of time. 748 00:27:38,242 --> 00:27:40,175 - Not unlike your illustrious past. 749 00:27:40,210 --> 00:27:41,487 - Does he really need to come? 750 00:27:41,521 --> 00:27:42,350 - Definitely. 751 00:27:43,006 --> 00:27:44,352 - Let it be known that I require 752 00:27:44,386 --> 00:27:46,388 this safari of yours to end early 753 00:27:46,423 --> 00:27:49,322 as I'm supposed to be at the Holiday Inn Burbank on Friday 754 00:27:49,357 --> 00:27:51,739 to deliver a keynote speech to a symposium of my peers. 755 00:27:51,773 --> 00:27:53,292 And my peers tend to be snippy. 756 00:27:53,326 --> 00:27:55,052 - If we're not done by then, I'll have a lot more to answer 757 00:27:55,087 --> 00:27:57,261 to than a bunch of phony soothsayers. 758 00:27:57,296 --> 00:27:59,747 - Guys, this car only has two seats. 759 00:27:59,781 --> 00:28:00,609 - Right. 760 00:28:01,749 --> 00:28:03,336 - I guess we'll have to take the Fab-Mobile. 761 00:28:03,371 --> 00:28:04,579 - The Fab-Mobile? 762 00:28:04,613 --> 00:28:06,029 - The Fab-Mobile. 763 00:28:08,790 --> 00:28:09,653 - Perfect. 764 00:28:11,068 --> 00:28:15,072 - So, what's the name of this first member of your 765 00:28:15,107 --> 00:28:17,350 countless sexual conquests? 766 00:28:18,248 --> 00:28:20,250 - Carla Intintoli. 767 00:28:20,284 --> 00:28:22,079 - I like the name Carla. 768 00:28:22,114 --> 00:28:23,632 - Carla Intintoli. 769 00:28:24,668 --> 00:28:25,980 She is from Italy. 770 00:28:26,014 --> 00:28:28,603 - No, her dad's Brazilian. 771 00:28:28,637 --> 00:28:29,708 - Yes, he is. 772 00:28:30,847 --> 00:28:33,573 He was a farmer and he used his hand 773 00:28:33,608 --> 00:28:34,816 to make money for the family. 774 00:28:34,851 --> 00:28:35,990 - What are you doing? 775 00:28:36,024 --> 00:28:36,922 Are you doing psychic stuff right now? 776 00:28:36,956 --> 00:28:37,992 Don't do that right now, okay? 777 00:28:38,026 --> 00:28:39,752 - I can't help my blessings. 778 00:28:39,787 --> 00:28:41,374 They just come to me, Nick. 779 00:28:41,409 --> 00:28:42,617 - Really? 780 00:28:42,651 --> 00:28:44,239 I thought Mr. Sparkles here was the gifted one. 781 00:28:44,274 --> 00:28:46,794 - Well, it goes to Sparkles, then to Fabular. 782 00:28:46,828 --> 00:28:48,347 - All right, okay. 783 00:28:49,244 --> 00:28:50,832 Just don't say anything 784 00:28:50,867 --> 00:28:53,628 'cause I don't wanna freak Carla out. 785 00:28:53,662 --> 00:28:55,561 - It'll be my pleasure. 786 00:28:57,045 --> 00:28:58,944 - You think she'll remember you? 787 00:28:58,978 --> 00:29:00,600 - They never forget. 788 00:29:02,326 --> 00:29:04,984 [doorbell ring] 789 00:29:07,055 --> 00:29:08,643 - Nick? 790 00:29:08,677 --> 00:29:10,196 - Hi, Carla. 791 00:29:10,231 --> 00:29:11,819 - [Carla] Is that really you? 792 00:29:11,853 --> 00:29:12,716 - It's me. 793 00:29:14,511 --> 00:29:15,339 - Wow. 794 00:29:16,547 --> 00:29:19,792 I never thought I'd have this opportunity again. 795 00:29:19,827 --> 00:29:21,345 - Opportunity? 796 00:29:21,380 --> 00:29:25,487 [thuds] [grunts] 797 00:29:26,765 --> 00:29:28,905 - I think it's great that she remembers you. 798 00:29:28,939 --> 00:29:31,321 - Why was she so mad? 799 00:29:31,355 --> 00:29:34,186 - Well, Mason, when relationships end, 800 00:29:34,220 --> 00:29:36,567 people get emotional because they gotta justify 801 00:29:36,602 --> 00:29:38,880 why they were with that person in the first place 802 00:29:38,915 --> 00:29:41,745 which can manifest itself in bitterness, resentment, 803 00:29:41,780 --> 00:29:43,367 hatred or violence. 804 00:29:45,024 --> 00:29:48,407 - Okay, we have a triple patty burger with fries, well done 805 00:29:48,441 --> 00:29:51,444 and a strawberry shake with extra cherries. 806 00:29:51,479 --> 00:29:53,964 One small dinner salad, hold the croutons 807 00:29:53,999 --> 00:29:58,658 add extra garbanzo beans and dressing on the side. 808 00:29:58,693 --> 00:30:01,696 And one frozen bag of peas. 809 00:30:01,730 --> 00:30:02,731 - Thank you. 810 00:30:04,906 --> 00:30:06,252 - I have to pee. 811 00:30:06,287 --> 00:30:07,875 I'll be right back. 812 00:30:09,255 --> 00:30:11,499 - Why do I get the feeling that every woman you ever dated 813 00:30:11,533 --> 00:30:13,259 has a bone to pick with you? 814 00:30:13,294 --> 00:30:16,884 I bet you racked up quite the bag of karma. 815 00:30:17,850 --> 00:30:20,197 - Why don't you stop your yammering and tell me the truth? 816 00:30:20,232 --> 00:30:21,336 - I beg your pardon? 817 00:30:21,371 --> 00:30:22,613 - What's really goin' on here? 818 00:30:22,648 --> 00:30:24,892 How much money are they giving you? 819 00:30:24,926 --> 00:30:26,134 Or are you looking to fleece 820 00:30:26,169 --> 00:30:29,413 this kid's foster mom out of her life savings? 821 00:30:29,448 --> 00:30:30,690 - How dare you. 822 00:30:30,725 --> 00:30:32,416 - What's goin' on? 823 00:30:32,451 --> 00:30:33,624 What's in it for you? 824 00:30:33,659 --> 00:30:34,867 - That boy needed my help. 825 00:30:34,902 --> 00:30:36,420 Isn't that enough? 826 00:30:37,628 --> 00:30:39,665 - For the record, if I do find out 827 00:30:39,699 --> 00:30:41,943 that you're using that kid for any reason, 828 00:30:41,978 --> 00:30:46,016 any reason at all, I'm gonna beat the crap out of you. 829 00:30:46,051 --> 00:30:49,606 - Aw, you're gonna give me a knuckle sandwich? 830 00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:51,263 - Whatever it takes. 831 00:30:52,195 --> 00:30:53,852 - You call that a threat? 832 00:30:53,886 --> 00:30:54,680 - Yeah. 833 00:30:55,923 --> 00:30:58,132 - I am The Amazing Fabular. 834 00:30:59,443 --> 00:31:00,617 I've invoked the wrath 835 00:31:00,651 --> 00:31:03,792 of several hundred loyal radio listeners. 836 00:31:03,827 --> 00:31:05,311 I've been threatened by men the likes 837 00:31:05,346 --> 00:31:07,900 of which would leave you in need of reconstructive surgery. 838 00:31:07,935 --> 00:31:11,076 - What's amazing is that reasonable people 839 00:31:11,110 --> 00:31:15,183 would actually take advice from someone like you. 840 00:31:20,119 --> 00:31:22,397 - Sorry to bother you, but my father, 841 00:31:22,432 --> 00:31:24,054 he's a huge fan of your work 842 00:31:24,089 --> 00:31:25,780 and he said the check's on the house 843 00:31:25,814 --> 00:31:28,576 if we could get your autograph for the wall. 844 00:31:28,610 --> 00:31:29,404 - Sure. 845 00:31:29,439 --> 00:31:31,820 - I'd be delighted. 846 00:31:31,855 --> 00:31:33,892 What's your name? 847 00:31:33,926 --> 00:31:37,240 I'm sensing a D? 848 00:31:38,068 --> 00:31:39,621 Daisy. 849 00:31:39,656 --> 00:31:41,106 - Wow! 850 00:31:41,140 --> 00:31:43,039 You're really good! 851 00:31:43,073 --> 00:31:45,662 Your show is huge in Australia! 852 00:31:47,008 --> 00:31:49,424 I don't know if you remember a guy named Mickey 853 00:31:49,459 --> 00:31:51,875 calling in about five years ago? 854 00:31:51,910 --> 00:31:53,532 Yeah, well, anyway, that was my little brother 855 00:31:53,566 --> 00:31:57,467 and he had lost his baby kangaroo, Skippy. 856 00:31:57,501 --> 00:31:58,502 - Skippy! 857 00:31:58,537 --> 00:31:59,987 - Yeah! 858 00:32:00,021 --> 00:32:01,954 So anyway, you said that he missed his mum and hopped away 859 00:32:01,989 --> 00:32:03,714 and guess what? 860 00:32:03,749 --> 00:32:06,269 Five years later, my brother called me 861 00:32:06,303 --> 00:32:07,856 and said that he found Skippy 862 00:32:07,891 --> 00:32:10,238 hopping in a field with his mum! 863 00:32:10,273 --> 00:32:11,930 - Skippy, he's safe! 864 00:32:22,595 --> 00:32:23,596 - Thank you! 865 00:32:26,289 --> 00:32:27,807 - How's your nose? 866 00:32:31,535 --> 00:32:33,261 - Let's keep moving down the list, okay, Mason? 867 00:32:33,296 --> 00:32:35,229 - All right, yeah. 868 00:32:35,263 --> 00:32:39,888 Well, Janice Bodicker? 869 00:32:39,923 --> 00:32:41,200 - It's Bodicker. 870 00:32:42,512 --> 00:32:43,444 - Bodicker? 871 00:32:45,515 --> 00:32:47,758 Kinda rolls off the tongue. 872 00:32:48,932 --> 00:32:49,726 Bodicker. 873 00:32:50,899 --> 00:32:53,074 [laughing] 874 00:32:53,109 --> 00:32:53,937 Bodicker! 875 00:32:55,594 --> 00:32:56,388 Bodicker. 876 00:32:58,114 --> 00:33:01,117 [light steady music] 877 00:33:12,473 --> 00:33:13,508 - Nick. 878 00:33:13,543 --> 00:33:15,579 - Janice. - This is so exciting! 879 00:33:15,614 --> 00:33:17,029 The girls and I started baking you a cake 880 00:33:17,064 --> 00:33:18,686 right after you called. 881 00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:19,963 - That's so sweet. 882 00:33:19,998 --> 00:33:21,654 You didn't need to go to the trouble. 883 00:33:21,689 --> 00:33:22,897 - Oh, no trouble at all. 884 00:33:22,931 --> 00:33:24,899 The girls just love when we have company. 885 00:33:24,933 --> 00:33:25,831 Come on in. 886 00:33:30,525 --> 00:33:31,354 - Okay! 887 00:33:32,769 --> 00:33:35,841 Why don't you all just get yourselves acquainted? 888 00:33:35,875 --> 00:33:37,084 Be nice, Donna. 889 00:33:38,913 --> 00:33:40,811 And I'll be right back. 890 00:33:43,987 --> 00:33:45,713 - I think I wanna wait in the car. 891 00:33:45,747 --> 00:33:47,853 - Me too, it's so stuffy in here. 892 00:33:47,887 --> 00:33:49,199 - And creepy. 893 00:33:49,234 --> 00:33:53,479 - You boys must be thirsty. 894 00:33:55,205 --> 00:33:59,278 The one with the strawberry in it is yours, Nick. 895 00:34:00,590 --> 00:34:01,591 [laughs] 896 00:34:06,596 --> 00:34:07,252 [clears throat] 897 00:34:08,425 --> 00:34:09,495 To true love. 898 00:34:11,325 --> 00:34:12,153 Cheers! 899 00:34:13,223 --> 00:34:14,121 Bottoms up! 900 00:34:22,681 --> 00:34:24,096 [chuckles] 901 00:34:24,131 --> 00:34:26,892 - Well, okay, so I'm just gonna get right to it. 902 00:34:26,926 --> 00:34:31,172 We came here to ask you something really important. 903 00:34:33,140 --> 00:34:33,968 - Nick! 904 00:34:35,694 --> 00:34:40,181 I knew that you were here for more than just a... visit. 905 00:34:43,943 --> 00:34:45,773 - Did you and I have-- 906 00:34:46,946 --> 00:34:48,362 - Say it, say it, say it, say it! 907 00:34:48,396 --> 00:34:49,190 Just ask, ask, ask, ask, ask-- 908 00:34:49,225 --> 00:34:50,398 - Did you? 909 00:34:50,433 --> 00:34:52,676 [giggling] 910 00:34:56,818 --> 00:34:59,235 A child together? 911 00:35:01,099 --> 00:35:02,686 - Of course we did, Nick. 912 00:35:02,721 --> 00:35:03,549 - We did? 913 00:35:04,723 --> 00:35:06,518 - That's why I've kept up on all your success. 914 00:35:06,552 --> 00:35:10,108 I wanted him to be proud of his daddy. 915 00:35:10,142 --> 00:35:12,386 I knew we'd all be together again someday. 916 00:35:12,420 --> 00:35:14,146 Oh, god, this is the moment! 917 00:35:14,181 --> 00:35:15,113 Okay, whoo! 918 00:35:19,496 --> 00:35:21,843 Nicky, say hi to your daddy! 919 00:35:25,123 --> 00:35:27,539 We all think he looks just like you. 920 00:35:27,573 --> 00:35:30,576 It's like, is it big Nick or little? 921 00:35:31,991 --> 00:35:36,479 Well, go on, just aren't you gonna say hi to your son, Nick? 922 00:35:38,205 --> 00:35:39,067 - Hi? 923 00:35:42,554 --> 00:35:43,210 [ding] 924 00:35:44,107 --> 00:35:46,834 - Okay, I'll just be a moment, okay! 925 00:35:46,868 --> 00:35:48,249 I'll let you guys talk. 926 00:35:48,284 --> 00:35:49,319 He's gonna cheer you up. 927 00:35:49,354 --> 00:35:51,149 Okay, just let him get settled. 928 00:35:51,183 --> 00:35:53,392 One second, one second. 929 00:35:53,427 --> 00:35:54,635 - I'm gonna go out on a limb here 930 00:35:54,669 --> 00:35:56,188 and say that she is batshit crazy. 931 00:35:56,223 --> 00:35:57,224 - We gotta get out of this place. 932 00:35:57,258 --> 00:35:58,501 She is not the one you seek. 933 00:35:58,535 --> 00:35:59,433 - What about the cake? 934 00:35:59,467 --> 00:36:00,434 - Are you kidding me? 935 00:36:00,468 --> 00:36:01,642 - I'm starving. 936 00:36:01,676 --> 00:36:04,748 - [Janice] I'm just adding the nuts! 937 00:36:04,783 --> 00:36:05,577 - Mr. Sparkles! 938 00:36:05,611 --> 00:36:06,543 - Oh! 939 00:36:06,578 --> 00:36:07,475 [Mr. Sparkles barking] 940 00:36:07,510 --> 00:36:09,305 - You are in trouble, young man. 941 00:36:09,339 --> 00:36:12,756 You scared the living daylights outta me! 942 00:36:13,619 --> 00:36:14,448 Oh no! 943 00:36:15,794 --> 00:36:16,933 This is bad. 944 00:36:16,967 --> 00:36:17,865 - Oh, shoot! 945 00:36:17,899 --> 00:36:20,385 - What did you do to my girls? 946 00:36:22,973 --> 00:36:23,974 Oh, god! 947 00:36:24,009 --> 00:36:25,597 Bonnie, are you okay? 948 00:36:25,631 --> 00:36:27,012 - I'm terribly sorry 949 00:36:27,046 --> 00:36:27,806 about this, ma'am. - I'm calling the police! 950 00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:29,325 You assaulted my girls! 951 00:36:29,359 --> 00:36:30,257 - Is there any way I could take 952 00:36:30,291 --> 00:36:31,982 a piece of that for the road? 953 00:36:32,017 --> 00:36:34,226 - Get out, get out, get out! 954 00:36:34,261 --> 00:36:35,193 - That's okay. - Get out! 955 00:36:35,227 --> 00:36:36,124 Sorry, Amanda! - Thank you! 956 00:36:36,159 --> 00:36:36,987 Good to see ya, take care! 957 00:36:37,022 --> 00:36:37,850 - Hey, no! 958 00:36:38,851 --> 00:36:40,301 - That went horribly wrong. 959 00:36:40,336 --> 00:36:41,854 - Does this make Nicky my stepbrother? 960 00:36:41,889 --> 00:36:42,821 - Oh, that's very funny, cake face. 961 00:36:42,855 --> 00:36:44,167 Get in the car. 962 00:36:44,202 --> 00:36:45,927 - I told you she wasn't the one you seek. 963 00:36:45,962 --> 00:36:47,343 Perhaps now you won't be so quick to dismiss 964 00:36:47,377 --> 00:36:48,344 the gifts of others? 965 00:36:48,378 --> 00:36:49,621 - Gift, my ass! 966 00:36:49,655 --> 00:36:50,967 That falls under the category of obvious. 967 00:36:51,001 --> 00:36:51,899 Gimme the keys. 968 00:36:51,933 --> 00:36:52,762 You drive like an old lady. 969 00:36:52,796 --> 00:36:53,832 - Very well. 970 00:36:53,866 --> 00:36:55,730 The gift needs to power down. 971 00:36:55,765 --> 00:36:56,938 - Can you power down that shirt? 972 00:36:56,973 --> 00:36:58,146 It's giving me a headache. 973 00:37:03,842 --> 00:37:05,257 Two down, a few more to go. 974 00:37:05,292 --> 00:37:06,707 [Janice screaming] 975 00:37:06,741 --> 00:37:09,606 - Are you really gonna leave without saying goodbye 976 00:37:09,641 --> 00:37:11,643 again, Nick? 977 00:37:11,953 --> 00:37:13,161 - Is that a flame thrower? 978 00:37:13,196 --> 00:37:15,336 - Where'd she get a flame thrower? 979 00:37:15,371 --> 00:37:16,786 - Drive! 980 00:37:16,820 --> 00:37:19,167 [screaming] 981 00:37:22,895 --> 00:37:25,450 [lively music] 982 00:37:48,300 --> 00:37:51,269 [dog snarling] 983 00:37:51,303 --> 00:37:52,477 - [Mason] I'm not ready to die! 984 00:37:52,511 --> 00:37:54,030 I don't wanna die! 985 00:37:58,103 --> 00:37:59,622 - [Sydney] Hey, what do you think? 986 00:37:59,656 --> 00:38:00,657 - It's great. 987 00:38:02,210 --> 00:38:04,558 - What's that look all about? 988 00:38:04,592 --> 00:38:06,767 - All right, I hate to be the one to say, I told you so. 989 00:38:06,801 --> 00:38:10,288 - I think you love being the one to say I told you so. 990 00:38:10,322 --> 00:38:11,737 - Okay, yeah. 991 00:38:11,772 --> 00:38:14,292 Fine, that's true but I only do this to protect you. 992 00:38:14,326 --> 00:38:16,328 - I don't need to be protected from Nick. 993 00:38:16,363 --> 00:38:17,571 - Really? 994 00:38:17,605 --> 00:38:18,882 Well, I just got off the phone with Albert. 995 00:38:18,917 --> 00:38:20,436 - Albert, Nick's publisher? 996 00:38:20,470 --> 00:38:22,023 - It had to be done. 997 00:38:22,058 --> 00:38:24,371 And when I mentioned him booking Nick last minute, 998 00:38:24,405 --> 00:38:26,718 he had no idea what I was talking about. 999 00:38:26,752 --> 00:38:29,583 - Kelly, can't you just be, wait, what, what? 1000 00:38:29,617 --> 00:38:33,621 - There is no Santa Barbara speaking engagement. 1001 00:38:34,691 --> 00:38:38,108 - But why would he tell me that? 1002 00:38:38,143 --> 00:38:38,971 - Exactly. 1003 00:38:53,434 --> 00:38:54,642 - [Nick] Oh, wait. 1004 00:38:54,677 --> 00:38:55,574 - [Mason] What are you looking for? 1005 00:38:55,609 --> 00:38:57,231 - [Nick] I lost my phone. 1006 00:38:57,265 --> 00:38:58,681 - I think you left it on the coffee table 1007 00:38:58,715 --> 00:39:01,580 of the house of your true love, Janice Bodicker. 1008 00:39:01,615 --> 00:39:02,857 Shall we go back and get her? 1009 00:39:02,892 --> 00:39:04,445 - Never mind, I got insurance. 1010 00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:05,929 - Did you say this one is called Winifred? 1011 00:39:05,964 --> 00:39:07,759 - Yeah, Winny for short. 1012 00:39:07,793 --> 00:39:10,624 - I'm sensing a very peculiar aura. 1013 00:39:10,658 --> 00:39:12,108 - No, that's your rat. 1014 00:39:12,142 --> 00:39:16,561 Ever since you fed him that chimichanga from the Gas 'N Go. 1015 00:39:17,665 --> 00:39:18,528 - No, this is something different. 1016 00:39:18,563 --> 00:39:20,081 - Wait right here. 1017 00:39:27,295 --> 00:39:29,815 Is Winifred Cartwright here? 1018 00:39:29,850 --> 00:39:30,989 - Nick? 1019 00:39:31,023 --> 00:39:32,715 Nick Pearson, come here! 1020 00:39:32,749 --> 00:39:34,302 - Whoa, do I know you, buddy? 1021 00:39:34,337 --> 00:39:36,581 - Yes, it's me, it's Winny! 1022 00:39:38,376 --> 00:39:39,825 Of course, I go by Freddy now. 1023 00:39:39,860 --> 00:39:41,517 It's less confusing. 1024 00:39:44,796 --> 00:39:47,730 - How long you been Freddy, Winny? 1025 00:39:47,764 --> 00:39:50,422 - Well, you know, you and I had that night together 1026 00:39:50,457 --> 00:39:53,149 and then the next day I went and had surgery. 1027 00:39:53,183 --> 00:39:54,840 - I don't blame you. 1028 00:39:57,636 --> 00:40:00,501 - I cannot believe I let you get into my head like this. 1029 00:40:00,536 --> 00:40:02,020 - Then just call him, Syd. 1030 00:40:02,054 --> 00:40:03,228 - I don't need to-- 1031 00:40:03,262 --> 00:40:04,436 - That way you'll know what's going on. 1032 00:40:04,471 --> 00:40:06,093 And you're right, maybe it's nothing. 1033 00:40:06,127 --> 00:40:07,335 - It's probably nothing. 1034 00:40:07,370 --> 00:40:11,201 - I mean, I bet it is, it's something but. 1035 00:40:11,236 --> 00:40:13,928 What, it could be nothing. 1036 00:40:13,963 --> 00:40:14,791 - Okay. 1037 00:40:18,761 --> 00:40:21,384 [phone ringing] 1038 00:40:21,419 --> 00:40:22,592 - Hello? 1039 00:40:22,627 --> 00:40:24,387 - I'm sorry, who am I speaking to? 1040 00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:26,044 - None of your business, that's who! 1041 00:40:26,078 --> 00:40:28,080 - Well, can I speak to Nick? 1042 00:40:28,115 --> 00:40:29,012 - No, you may not! 1043 00:40:29,047 --> 00:40:30,428 He's gone again with no regards 1044 00:40:30,462 --> 00:40:32,568 for my feelings or his child! 1045 00:40:32,602 --> 00:40:33,431 - His child? 1046 00:40:33,465 --> 00:40:35,087 - What? 1047 00:40:35,122 --> 00:40:36,399 I'm sorry. 1048 00:40:36,434 --> 00:40:37,573 Are you saying that you and Nick Pearson 1049 00:40:37,607 --> 00:40:39,402 had a child together? 1050 00:40:39,437 --> 00:40:40,817 - Yes, we did. 1051 00:40:40,852 --> 00:40:42,267 A beautiful baby boy. 1052 00:40:42,301 --> 00:40:45,857 I now regret ever having laid eyes on that man! 1053 00:40:45,891 --> 00:40:47,893 - When he wrote that book, that hating kids book, 1054 00:40:47,928 --> 00:40:49,481 I thought he was just being funny 1055 00:40:49,516 --> 00:40:53,554 but I now know that every word of it was the truth. 1056 00:40:53,589 --> 00:40:55,349 - Where is Nick right now? 1057 00:40:55,383 --> 00:40:56,902 - Hopefully lying dead in a ditch 1058 00:40:56,937 --> 00:40:58,835 with his two friends while that little dog of theirs 1059 00:40:58,870 --> 00:41:00,492 just eats their remains! 1060 00:41:00,527 --> 00:41:01,493 - He hates dogs. 1061 00:41:01,528 --> 00:41:02,943 - What? 1062 00:41:02,977 --> 00:41:05,048 - My advice to you is to stay as far away as possible 1063 00:41:05,083 --> 00:41:06,671 from that deadbeat! 1064 00:41:08,396 --> 00:41:10,053 - Okay, what is going on? 1065 00:41:10,088 --> 00:41:12,366 - I think it's pretty clear. 1066 00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:15,611 - I mean, that woman, she does not sound normal, and a dog? 1067 00:41:15,645 --> 00:41:19,028 - Syd, first some kid shows up claiming he's Nick's son 1068 00:41:19,062 --> 00:41:20,512 then Nick lies about where he is going 1069 00:41:20,547 --> 00:41:25,344 and now, this weird woman admits they had a kid together. 1070 00:41:25,379 --> 00:41:26,242 What more do you need? 1071 00:41:26,276 --> 00:41:27,208 It's case closed. 1072 00:41:27,243 --> 00:41:28,693 - I don't think so, Kelly. 1073 00:41:28,727 --> 00:41:30,039 I need proof. 1074 00:41:30,073 --> 00:41:31,903 - Wow, okay. 1075 00:41:32,697 --> 00:41:34,215 Somebody's in denial. 1076 00:41:34,250 --> 00:41:36,079 Fine, we'll get proof. 1077 00:41:37,805 --> 00:41:40,394 [lively music] 1078 00:41:53,787 --> 00:41:55,167 - I don't understand. 1079 00:41:55,202 --> 00:41:57,653 If Winny is Freddy, why were you asking him 1080 00:41:57,687 --> 00:42:00,103 if he had your child? 1081 00:42:00,138 --> 00:42:03,106 - Because he used to be a woman. 1082 00:42:03,141 --> 00:42:05,315 - Wow, how do you do that? 1083 00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:09,734 - You have any hobbies? 1084 00:42:09,768 --> 00:42:12,357 You like reading books or anything? 1085 00:42:12,391 --> 00:42:15,084 - Sometimes, I read your book. 1086 00:42:15,118 --> 00:42:16,637 - Really, what'd you think? 1087 00:42:16,672 --> 00:42:17,742 - It made me wanna write a book. 1088 00:42:17,776 --> 00:42:18,846 - No way! 1089 00:42:18,881 --> 00:42:20,123 That is so cool. 1090 00:42:20,158 --> 00:42:22,747 I'm so thrilled I could inspire a young writer. 1091 00:42:22,781 --> 00:42:25,404 - I wanted to write a book called I Hate Parents. 1092 00:42:25,439 --> 00:42:26,267 - Oh. 1093 00:42:29,512 --> 00:42:31,549 So, what is that thing anyway? 1094 00:42:31,583 --> 00:42:33,309 - It's a fidget spinner. 1095 00:42:33,343 --> 00:42:34,448 It helps keep me calm. 1096 00:42:34,482 --> 00:42:35,380 - Oh, yeah? 1097 00:42:35,414 --> 00:42:36,588 I could use one of those. 1098 00:42:36,623 --> 00:42:38,314 - Look, you don't have to do this. 1099 00:42:38,348 --> 00:42:39,522 - [Nick] What? 1100 00:42:39,557 --> 00:42:42,042 - Pretend like you like me. 1101 00:42:42,076 --> 00:42:44,182 Just help me find my mom. 1102 00:42:45,252 --> 00:42:47,185 That's the deal, right? 1103 00:42:51,948 --> 00:42:54,537 So why do you hate kids? 1104 00:42:54,572 --> 00:42:56,021 - I don't hate kids. 1105 00:42:56,056 --> 00:42:58,334 I just don't see eye to eye with them. 1106 00:42:58,368 --> 00:43:00,612 It's not so much that I hate them, they hate me. 1107 00:43:00,647 --> 00:43:02,234 - I don't hate you. 1108 00:43:04,582 --> 00:43:06,480 Does your fiancee hate kids, too? 1109 00:43:06,514 --> 00:43:10,001 - No, she just likes things uncomplicated. 1110 00:43:11,312 --> 00:43:14,764 - Why are there spoons in my comforter? 1111 00:43:14,799 --> 00:43:16,145 All the butter's gone. 1112 00:43:16,179 --> 00:43:18,699 What am I gonna dip my shrimp in? 1113 00:43:18,734 --> 00:43:20,114 - What's he dreaming about? 1114 00:43:20,149 --> 00:43:23,808 - Sounds like he's channeling Gordon Ramsay. 1115 00:43:25,844 --> 00:43:29,710 [police siren wailing] 1116 00:43:29,745 --> 00:43:30,608 Oh, great. 1117 00:43:38,892 --> 00:43:43,172 [officer on radio speaking softly] 1118 00:43:52,388 --> 00:43:53,665 - License and registration. 1119 00:43:53,700 --> 00:43:56,288 - Yes, certainly, officer. 1120 00:43:56,323 --> 00:43:57,842 - You know why I pulled you over? 1121 00:43:57,876 --> 00:43:59,153 - Was I going too fast? 1122 00:43:59,188 --> 00:44:00,430 - The speed limit is 45. 1123 00:44:00,465 --> 00:44:01,915 You were doing 50. 1124 00:44:01,949 --> 00:44:04,227 [whistles] 1125 00:44:05,159 --> 00:44:06,333 - This is not my car 1126 00:44:06,367 --> 00:44:09,577 so I'm not really used to how it handles. 1127 00:44:09,612 --> 00:44:10,751 It pulls. 1128 00:44:10,786 --> 00:44:12,028 - Well, that doesn't change the fact 1129 00:44:12,063 --> 00:44:12,960 that you were breaking the law, now does it? 1130 00:44:12,995 --> 00:44:13,754 - No, no, no, it doesn't. 1131 00:44:13,789 --> 00:44:16,170 - Excuse me, officer. 1132 00:44:16,205 --> 00:44:17,655 When was the last time you had your radar gun 1133 00:44:17,689 --> 00:44:20,071 calibrated for accuracy? 1134 00:44:20,105 --> 00:44:21,520 - Excuse me? 1135 00:44:21,555 --> 00:44:23,902 - Well, you see, many speeding violations are dismissed 1136 00:44:23,937 --> 00:44:25,110 because the citing officer 1137 00:44:25,145 --> 00:44:26,664 failed to have regular maintenance checks 1138 00:44:26,698 --> 00:44:28,286 on their equipment. 1139 00:44:31,979 --> 00:44:34,741 - Don't move, I'll be right back. 1140 00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:38,503 - What are you doing? 1141 00:44:38,537 --> 00:44:39,711 - Helping. 1142 00:44:39,746 --> 00:44:41,402 My foster mother used to be a paralegal 1143 00:44:41,437 --> 00:44:43,335 for the law firm of Dewey, Cheatem & Howe. 1144 00:44:43,370 --> 00:44:46,511 - No, Mason, that law firm doesn't exist. 1145 00:44:46,545 --> 00:44:47,443 It's an old joke. 1146 00:44:47,477 --> 00:44:49,859 - I know, I was making a joke. 1147 00:44:51,102 --> 00:44:51,930 - Oh. 1148 00:44:54,899 --> 00:44:57,004 I don't know about the timing but pretty funny. 1149 00:44:57,039 --> 00:44:58,074 - All right, Mr. Pearson, 1150 00:44:58,109 --> 00:44:59,869 I'm gonna let you go with a warning this time. 1151 00:44:59,904 --> 00:45:00,836 Watch your speed. 1152 00:45:00,870 --> 00:45:02,492 - Thank you. 1153 00:45:02,527 --> 00:45:03,424 - And one more thing. 1154 00:45:03,459 --> 00:45:04,943 - Mm-hmm? 1155 00:45:04,978 --> 00:45:05,875 - [Officer] Hey, brother, can I have your autograph? 1156 00:45:05,910 --> 00:45:07,497 - I'd be happy to, always. 1157 00:45:07,532 --> 00:45:08,706 - Man, my wife and I, 1158 00:45:08,740 --> 00:45:12,364 we listen to you on the radio all the time. 1159 00:45:12,399 --> 00:45:15,574 - You have admirable qualities, officer. 1160 00:45:15,609 --> 00:45:17,438 I'm sensing a promotion in your future. 1161 00:45:17,473 --> 00:45:18,750 - Well, actually, I'm puttin' in 1162 00:45:18,785 --> 00:45:20,131 for early retirement in three months. 1163 00:45:20,165 --> 00:45:22,616 - Yes, which will promote healthy relaxation 1164 00:45:22,650 --> 00:45:24,549 in your previously hectic life. 1165 00:45:24,583 --> 00:45:25,964 [speaking in foreign language] 1166 00:45:25,999 --> 00:45:29,174 - You can say that again, Mr. Fabular. 1167 00:45:30,072 --> 00:45:30,969 All right, man. 1168 00:45:31,004 --> 00:45:32,246 Hey, you drive safely now. 1169 00:45:32,281 --> 00:45:34,559 All right. - Of course, of course. 1170 00:45:34,593 --> 00:45:36,526 - You watch your speed. 1171 00:45:39,115 --> 00:45:40,082 - No need to thank me. 1172 00:45:40,116 --> 00:45:40,910 - Thank you? 1173 00:45:40,945 --> 00:45:42,187 For what? 1174 00:45:42,222 --> 00:45:43,119 - For extruding us from that awkward 1175 00:45:43,154 --> 00:45:44,914 and embarrassing confrontation. 1176 00:45:44,949 --> 00:45:46,398 - You had nothing to do with it. 1177 00:45:46,433 --> 00:45:47,779 - I most certainly had everything to do with it. 1178 00:45:47,814 --> 00:45:51,610 I was manipulating and deflecting his negative energy. 1179 00:45:51,645 --> 00:45:53,026 - Thank you, Fabular. 1180 00:45:53,060 --> 00:45:54,303 - Yeah, thank you, Master Yoda. 1181 00:45:54,337 --> 00:45:55,235 Now shut up, please. 1182 00:45:55,269 --> 00:45:57,168 Who's next on the list? 1183 00:45:57,202 --> 00:45:59,584 - Christine Hurley. 1184 00:45:59,618 --> 00:46:02,725 [steady guitar music] 1185 00:46:06,073 --> 00:46:07,212 - [Kelly] Do you see anything? 1186 00:46:07,247 --> 00:46:08,662 Get in there, go! 1187 00:46:11,561 --> 00:46:13,563 - [Sydney] Oh, I just, I don't feel good about this. 1188 00:46:13,598 --> 00:46:14,910 I think we should go back home. 1189 00:46:14,944 --> 00:46:15,842 - [Kelly] What? 1190 00:46:15,876 --> 00:46:17,222 He gave you a key, didn't he? 1191 00:46:17,257 --> 00:46:18,568 By giving you a key it is implied 1192 00:46:18,603 --> 00:46:19,949 that you have permission to gain entry 1193 00:46:19,984 --> 00:46:22,331 at any time to the domicile said key unlocks. 1194 00:46:22,365 --> 00:46:23,573 - [Sydney] I'm pretty certain that implication 1195 00:46:23,608 --> 00:46:25,265 doesn't mean scavenging said domicile 1196 00:46:25,299 --> 00:46:26,369 for dirty little secrets. 1197 00:46:26,404 --> 00:46:27,301 - Okay, you know what? 1198 00:46:27,336 --> 00:46:28,026 I take no pleasure in this. 1199 00:46:28,061 --> 00:46:29,821 - Yes, you do. 1200 00:46:29,856 --> 00:46:30,753 - Okay, I do. 1201 00:46:30,788 --> 00:46:31,789 Okay, yes, I do, a little bit. 1202 00:46:31,823 --> 00:46:32,928 But again, it's all for you. 1203 00:46:32,962 --> 00:46:34,446 - I'm pretty certain you missed your true calling 1204 00:46:34,481 --> 00:46:36,172 as a criminal mastermind but let's just get this over with 1205 00:46:36,207 --> 00:46:37,864 and we'll get out of here. 1206 00:46:37,898 --> 00:46:38,726 - Patience, Syd. 1207 00:46:38,761 --> 00:46:40,383 This might take a while. 1208 00:46:40,418 --> 00:46:41,902 Even Nick wouldn't be foolish enough 1209 00:46:41,937 --> 00:46:46,079 to just leave a big box of evidence out in the open. 1210 00:46:51,118 --> 00:46:56,192 ["Symphony No. 9" by Ludwig van Beethoven] 1211 00:46:56,227 --> 00:46:57,815 - [The Amazing Fabular] You never mentioned you dated Oprah. 1212 00:46:57,849 --> 00:46:59,126 - [Nick] I always figured Christine 1213 00:46:59,161 --> 00:47:00,818 would land in the lap of luxury. 1214 00:47:00,852 --> 00:47:02,820 Face first, from the looks of it. 1215 00:47:02,854 --> 00:47:05,581 - Wow, I would totally live here. 1216 00:47:06,962 --> 00:47:10,275 - Maybe you two should hang back for the moment. 1217 00:47:10,310 --> 00:47:14,210 I don't wanna just thrust this in her face. 1218 00:47:14,245 --> 00:47:15,591 - Seems like that's how you got yourself 1219 00:47:15,625 --> 00:47:17,627 in this situation to begin with. 1220 00:47:17,662 --> 00:47:18,870 - Hilarious. 1221 00:47:18,905 --> 00:47:19,767 Wait here. 1222 00:47:24,427 --> 00:47:27,258 [doorbell rings] 1223 00:47:29,398 --> 00:47:32,263 - Don't just stand there. 1224 00:47:32,297 --> 00:47:33,091 - Wow. 1225 00:47:33,126 --> 00:47:34,782 - I have to be at UCLA in one hour 1226 00:47:34,817 --> 00:47:36,508 to give my speech on women's empowerment 1227 00:47:36,543 --> 00:47:38,269 in the social media arena. 1228 00:47:38,303 --> 00:47:40,685 The helicopter will be here in five minutes. 1229 00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:42,445 How fast can you tweet? 1230 00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:43,377 - Huh, I don't know. 1231 00:47:43,412 --> 00:47:44,862 - Strike two. 1232 00:47:44,896 --> 00:47:46,311 If you want this job, you'd better pick up the pace. 1233 00:47:46,346 --> 00:47:47,278 - Job? - I require someone 1234 00:47:47,312 --> 00:47:48,658 who can manage my schedule, 1235 00:47:48,693 --> 00:47:51,420 count my calories feed my geckos 1236 00:47:51,454 --> 00:47:54,388 and make sure I don't wear the same dress twice. 1237 00:47:54,423 --> 00:47:57,771 If you last two weeks, I'll double your salary, okay? 1238 00:47:57,805 --> 00:48:00,774 - I'm not here for the job, Christine. 1239 00:48:00,808 --> 00:48:01,913 - Who are you? 1240 00:48:01,948 --> 00:48:04,778 - It's me, Nick, Nick Pearson. 1241 00:48:04,812 --> 00:48:06,642 - Nick, Nick! 1242 00:48:07,643 --> 00:48:08,471 Oh! 1243 00:48:09,956 --> 00:48:11,819 I didn't recognize you, Nick. 1244 00:48:11,854 --> 00:48:13,856 Oh, you didn't age well. 1245 00:48:16,307 --> 00:48:17,722 You're not on my schedule. 1246 00:48:17,756 --> 00:48:20,311 - I know, I called you an hour ago, remember? 1247 00:48:20,345 --> 00:48:21,726 - This is why I need an assistant. 1248 00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:23,590 I think I can fit you in on Thursday. 1249 00:48:23,624 --> 00:48:24,729 - No, I gotta talk to you right now. 1250 00:48:24,763 --> 00:48:26,006 It's important. 1251 00:48:26,041 --> 00:48:29,113 - Okay, you have 35 seconds, go. 1252 00:48:29,147 --> 00:48:30,562 - Okay. 1253 00:48:30,597 --> 00:48:34,256 Did you and I have a child 1254 00:48:34,290 --> 00:48:38,260 that you secretly gave up for adoption, by any chance? 1255 00:48:38,294 --> 00:48:40,745 - Why would you ask me that? 1256 00:48:40,779 --> 00:48:42,229 - Because this kid out here 1257 00:48:42,264 --> 00:48:45,232 deserves to know who his mother is. 1258 00:48:45,267 --> 00:48:47,752 - Well, he's awfully big. 1259 00:48:47,786 --> 00:48:49,409 Does baldness run in your family? 1260 00:48:49,443 --> 00:48:50,548 - Not him! 1261 00:48:50,582 --> 00:48:51,790 The other one! 1262 00:48:51,825 --> 00:48:52,964 - Nick, for someone who writes comedy, 1263 00:48:52,999 --> 00:48:55,518 you really can't take a joke, can you? 1264 00:48:55,553 --> 00:48:56,726 - I'm a little off my game. 1265 00:48:56,761 --> 00:48:58,073 - Sorry, Nick, I can't help you. 1266 00:48:58,107 --> 00:48:59,005 It wasn't me. 1267 00:48:59,039 --> 00:49:00,972 Tell the kid I'm sorry. 1268 00:49:01,007 --> 00:49:02,836 - Sorry to bother you. 1269 00:49:04,665 --> 00:49:05,666 - Hey, Nick? 1270 00:49:06,771 --> 00:49:08,980 For whatever it's worth, I can't have kids. 1271 00:49:09,015 --> 00:49:11,776 You would have found that out if you'd stuck around. 1272 00:49:11,810 --> 00:49:13,019 I built my empire instead. 1273 00:49:13,053 --> 00:49:15,090 Everything happens for a reason. 1274 00:49:15,124 --> 00:49:16,367 Bye, good luck. 1275 00:49:19,025 --> 00:49:22,097 [mellow piano music] 1276 00:49:23,270 --> 00:49:24,823 - Another dead end? 1277 00:49:24,858 --> 00:49:25,686 - Yup. 1278 00:49:32,762 --> 00:49:37,491 - You really flushed that golden ticket down the commode. 1279 00:49:38,699 --> 00:49:41,806 [mellow piano music] 1280 00:49:50,297 --> 00:49:51,540 - There are more women here 1281 00:49:51,574 --> 00:49:53,611 than in my entire graduating class. 1282 00:49:53,645 --> 00:49:55,613 My class was huge, remember? 1283 00:49:55,647 --> 00:49:56,441 Want chips? 1284 00:49:56,476 --> 00:49:57,925 - No, Kelly. 1285 00:49:57,960 --> 00:49:59,997 I still have to fit into my wedding dress, remember? 1286 00:50:00,031 --> 00:50:02,447 - Seriously, Nick should be bronzed and put on exhibit 1287 00:50:02,482 --> 00:50:05,347 at the Alfred Kinsey museum. 1288 00:50:05,381 --> 00:50:07,142 Oh, there's another one. 1289 00:50:07,176 --> 00:50:10,697 That makes three Christines at last count. 1290 00:50:12,492 --> 00:50:13,596 - Oh, my God. 1291 00:50:14,666 --> 00:50:16,496 Nick is a gigolo. 1292 00:50:16,530 --> 00:50:17,945 - What? 1293 00:50:17,980 --> 00:50:19,464 No, I don't think it says anything about him getting paid. 1294 00:50:19,499 --> 00:50:21,052 He's just a slut. 1295 00:50:21,087 --> 00:50:22,157 - You're right! 1296 00:50:22,191 --> 00:50:23,641 He's a slut! 1297 00:50:23,675 --> 00:50:26,230 And all this time, he's been lying to me 1298 00:50:26,264 --> 00:50:31,062 and keeping secrets from me and I've been an idiot! 1299 00:50:31,097 --> 00:50:32,926 - All signs do point to yes on that one. 1300 00:50:32,960 --> 00:50:34,790 - So what do I do? 1301 00:50:34,824 --> 00:50:36,136 I don't know what to do! 1302 00:50:36,171 --> 00:50:40,175 I just need, I need a little more time. 1303 00:50:40,209 --> 00:50:41,141 - Sydney. 1304 00:50:41,176 --> 00:50:42,867 - Just a little more time. 1305 00:50:42,901 --> 00:50:44,075 - Nope, time is now. 1306 00:50:44,110 --> 00:50:45,352 - What? 1307 00:50:45,387 --> 00:50:46,388 - It's time. 1308 00:50:46,422 --> 00:50:47,941 - Oh, my god! - We gotta go. 1309 00:50:47,975 --> 00:50:49,494 Wait, no. 1310 00:50:49,529 --> 00:50:51,634 Cover that, put something on that chair on the mark. 1311 00:50:51,669 --> 00:50:52,601 - [Sydney] Do you want the chips? 1312 00:50:52,635 --> 00:50:54,258 - Okay, yeah, bring the chips. 1313 00:50:54,292 --> 00:50:56,432 I gotta call Richard. 1314 00:50:56,467 --> 00:50:59,504 [light mellow music] 1315 00:50:59,539 --> 00:51:00,643 - How're you doing? 1316 00:51:00,678 --> 00:51:02,093 - Fine. 1317 00:51:02,128 --> 00:51:03,750 I wish I had some ice cream. 1318 00:51:03,784 --> 00:51:06,960 - Oh, well, maybe later we'll get you some. 1319 00:51:06,994 --> 00:51:08,548 - That'd be great. 1320 00:51:08,582 --> 00:51:09,997 - What's your favorite flavor? 1321 00:51:10,032 --> 00:51:11,171 - Strawberry. 1322 00:51:11,206 --> 00:51:13,932 - No way, that's my favorite flavor. 1323 00:51:13,967 --> 00:51:15,451 What are the odds? 1324 00:51:15,486 --> 00:51:19,421 - I mean, a lot of people like strawberry, so not that high. 1325 00:51:19,455 --> 00:51:22,079 - Ooh, ooh, Richard, Richard! 1326 00:51:22,113 --> 00:51:24,667 Answer your stupid phone! 1327 00:51:24,702 --> 00:51:26,083 Okay, okay, okay. 1328 00:51:27,256 --> 00:51:29,086 Ow, they're really coming fast now! 1329 00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:30,880 - Just try to stay calm, Kelly. 1330 00:51:30,915 --> 00:51:32,779 - Why did you let me eat all the chips? 1331 00:51:32,813 --> 00:51:35,126 I'm gonna be gassy in the delivery room! 1332 00:51:35,161 --> 00:51:36,990 - Do not worry about that right now! 1333 00:51:37,024 --> 00:51:39,820 I would just relax and try to concentrate on whatever it is 1334 00:51:39,855 --> 00:51:41,512 they tell you to concentrate on 1335 00:51:41,546 --> 00:51:43,169 in those La Paz classes you took! 1336 00:51:43,203 --> 00:51:44,342 - I wasn't listening! 1337 00:51:44,377 --> 00:51:45,930 It's Lamaze! 1338 00:51:45,964 --> 00:51:47,552 And how am I supposed to relax when my Lamaze partner 1339 00:51:47,587 --> 00:51:49,968 won't even answer his phone, god! 1340 00:51:50,003 --> 00:51:51,660 Richard, hi, it's your wife. 1341 00:51:51,694 --> 00:51:52,799 I'm gonna kill you! 1342 00:51:52,833 --> 00:51:54,904 - [Sydney] Just breathe with me. 1343 00:51:54,939 --> 00:51:56,837 - [Kelly] I don't know what to do! 1344 00:51:56,872 --> 00:51:58,908 Sorry, that's just chips. 1345 00:52:00,013 --> 00:52:00,910 I'm having a baby! 1346 00:52:00,945 --> 00:52:02,119 How can he be stuck in traffic? 1347 00:52:02,153 --> 00:52:03,120 - There's always traffic on the 405. 1348 00:52:03,154 --> 00:52:04,362 He'll be here. 1349 00:52:04,397 --> 00:52:05,605 - Oh, my god, he's not gonna be here in time! 1350 00:52:05,639 --> 00:52:06,951 No, no, no, no, I can't do this alone! 1351 00:52:06,985 --> 00:52:08,711 Syd, Syd, you have to come in there with me! 1352 00:52:08,746 --> 00:52:09,781 - Oh, no, no, I can't do that. 1353 00:52:09,816 --> 00:52:11,024 - Yes, yes, you can! 1354 00:52:11,058 --> 00:52:12,198 I am your sister and I say you have to! 1355 00:52:12,232 --> 00:52:13,475 - Don't they have, like, stand-by people, 1356 00:52:13,509 --> 00:52:14,579 like rent-a-coaches or something? 1357 00:52:14,614 --> 00:52:16,098 - Syd, Sydney! 1358 00:52:16,133 --> 00:52:18,618 You have to do this or I will tell everyone in here 1359 00:52:18,652 --> 00:52:20,620 how you shit your pants at Neil Greenblatt's bar mitzvah 1360 00:52:20,654 --> 00:52:22,380 and then you flushed your underpants down the toilet 1361 00:52:22,415 --> 00:52:23,968 and flooded the entire basement of the synagogue. 1362 00:52:24,002 --> 00:52:25,176 - That was like 20 years ago. 1363 00:52:25,211 --> 00:52:26,591 - I don't care! 1364 00:52:26,626 --> 00:52:28,214 I'm about to launch a watermelon out of my punani! 1365 00:52:28,248 --> 00:52:30,733 Do not test me, Sydney! 1366 00:52:30,768 --> 00:52:31,803 - Here we are. 1367 00:52:31,838 --> 00:52:33,150 947 Main Street. 1368 00:52:34,220 --> 00:52:35,290 Cross Hakido. 1369 00:52:36,325 --> 00:52:38,189 - Wow, this place looks amazing. 1370 00:52:38,224 --> 00:52:39,846 - I'm gonna sit this one out and take Mr. Sparkles 1371 00:52:39,880 --> 00:52:41,848 on a much needed stroll. 1372 00:52:41,882 --> 00:52:42,987 - We'll see you back here. 1373 00:52:43,021 --> 00:52:44,126 - Okay. 1374 00:52:44,161 --> 00:52:45,334 - Let's step that punch! 1375 00:52:45,369 --> 00:52:46,197 [students yell] 1376 00:52:46,232 --> 00:52:47,025 Single punch! 1377 00:52:47,060 --> 00:52:47,854 [students yell] 1378 00:52:47,888 --> 00:52:48,682 Two! [students yell] 1379 00:52:48,717 --> 00:52:49,545 Three! [students yell] 1380 00:52:49,580 --> 00:52:50,753 Four! [students yell] 1381 00:52:50,788 --> 00:52:51,996 Attention. 1382 00:52:52,030 --> 00:52:54,032 [students yell] 1383 00:52:54,067 --> 00:52:57,622 [light mellow music] 1384 00:52:57,657 --> 00:52:59,072 Hey, Nick! 1385 00:52:59,106 --> 00:53:00,004 - Hi, Schyler. 1386 00:53:00,038 --> 00:53:00,867 You look great. 1387 00:53:00,901 --> 00:53:02,696 This place is fantastic. 1388 00:53:02,731 --> 00:53:05,837 - Yeah, and after two years, I'm the owner. 1389 00:53:05,872 --> 00:53:07,874 - Are you like a ninja? 1390 00:53:07,908 --> 00:53:09,151 - Almost. 1391 00:53:09,186 --> 00:53:10,152 What's your name? 1392 00:53:10,187 --> 00:53:11,360 - Mason. 1393 00:53:11,395 --> 00:53:12,982 - Yeah, would you like to join my class today? 1394 00:53:13,017 --> 00:53:14,191 - [Mason] Sure! 1395 00:53:14,225 --> 00:53:15,364 - Okay, there's extra gis over there 1396 00:53:15,399 --> 00:53:16,572 in the changing room. 1397 00:53:16,607 --> 00:53:17,470 Just put one on and then come out to the mat 1398 00:53:17,504 --> 00:53:18,402 and join the class. 1399 00:53:18,436 --> 00:53:20,335 - Okay, thanks! 1400 00:53:20,369 --> 00:53:21,232 - He's a sweet kid. 1401 00:53:21,267 --> 00:53:22,475 - [Nick] Mm-hmm. 1402 00:53:22,509 --> 00:53:23,579 - What's he doing with a nut like you 1403 00:53:23,614 --> 00:53:25,581 and what do you want from me? 1404 00:53:25,616 --> 00:53:29,102 - Well, it's a bit of a delicate situation. 1405 00:53:29,136 --> 00:53:30,828 I need to talk about us. 1406 00:53:30,862 --> 00:53:31,725 - Us? 1407 00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:33,175 As in you and me? 1408 00:53:34,349 --> 00:53:37,904 - Yeah, it could also involve other parties. 1409 00:53:39,906 --> 00:53:41,494 - Interesting. 1410 00:53:41,528 --> 00:53:44,048 Okay, five-minute water break! 1411 00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:46,602 I'll tell you what, Nick. 1412 00:53:46,637 --> 00:53:48,363 I'm a little short-handed today. 1413 00:53:48,397 --> 00:53:49,743 Why don't you help me out for the next 30 minutes 1414 00:53:49,778 --> 00:53:52,850 and maybe I'll answer your questions. 1415 00:53:52,884 --> 00:53:54,817 - Help you out? 1416 00:53:54,852 --> 00:53:55,818 Doing what? 1417 00:53:58,856 --> 00:54:00,271 Is this completely necessary? 1418 00:54:00,306 --> 00:54:03,930 - You want your questions answered or not? 1419 00:54:03,964 --> 00:54:04,896 - Yeah. 1420 00:54:04,931 --> 00:54:06,346 - Line up! 1421 00:54:06,381 --> 00:54:07,382 - [Students] Yes, ma'am! 1422 00:54:10,592 --> 00:54:12,663 - On your knees. 1423 00:54:12,697 --> 00:54:15,873 [dramatic drum music] 1424 00:54:17,081 --> 00:54:19,601 - Oh, I'm so glad you're so amused. 1425 00:54:19,635 --> 00:54:21,119 - Side kicks! 1426 00:54:21,154 --> 00:54:23,536 [grunts] 1427 00:54:23,570 --> 00:54:24,468 [Nick groans loudly] 1428 00:54:24,502 --> 00:54:26,021 Little lower next time, sweetie. 1429 00:54:26,055 --> 00:54:27,229 - Could we take this seriously? 1430 00:54:27,264 --> 00:54:28,092 I need to find this kid's mother. 1431 00:54:28,126 --> 00:54:29,231 - Oh, I'm sorry, Nick, 1432 00:54:29,266 --> 00:54:31,268 but talk about a needle in the haystack. 1433 00:54:31,302 --> 00:54:32,441 - Well, I'll take that to be a no? 1434 00:54:32,476 --> 00:54:33,684 - Front kick! 1435 00:54:33,718 --> 00:54:35,030 [grunts] 1436 00:54:35,064 --> 00:54:36,273 Believe me, Nick, if we had a baby, 1437 00:54:36,307 --> 00:54:37,964 you would have known about it from day one. 1438 00:54:37,998 --> 00:54:39,724 Why don't you ask Tonya Wesson? 1439 00:54:39,759 --> 00:54:41,312 - Tonya Wesson? 1440 00:54:41,347 --> 00:54:42,831 Who's Tonya Wesson? 1441 00:54:42,865 --> 00:54:44,902 - Oh, now don't tell me you don't remember Tonya. 1442 00:54:44,936 --> 00:54:48,181 Remember, my friend Tonya? 1443 00:54:48,215 --> 00:54:49,389 The one I caught you with 1444 00:54:49,424 --> 00:54:51,529 when you and I were supposedly dating? 1445 00:54:51,564 --> 00:54:54,774 - Oh, Tonya Wesson, yeah. 1446 00:54:54,808 --> 00:54:56,051 Well, I mean, that's hardly my fault. 1447 00:54:56,085 --> 00:54:58,295 It takes two to tango, you know? 1448 00:54:58,329 --> 00:55:00,918 - Yeah, but it only takes one to say no. 1449 00:55:00,952 --> 00:55:01,884 Crotch kick! 1450 00:55:01,919 --> 00:55:04,093 [grunts] 1451 00:55:07,511 --> 00:55:10,203 [kids giggling] 1452 00:55:12,343 --> 00:55:13,724 - [Man] What's wrong with you? 1453 00:55:13,758 --> 00:55:15,104 Move! 1454 00:55:15,139 --> 00:55:18,211 - You don't let everybody in front of you! 1455 00:55:18,245 --> 00:55:20,558 - [Man] Come on, drive! 1456 00:55:20,593 --> 00:55:22,111 [phone ringing] 1457 00:55:22,146 --> 00:55:23,078 - Hey, baby! 1458 00:55:23,112 --> 00:55:24,666 How's it going, huh? 1459 00:55:24,700 --> 00:55:25,839 - How far away are you? 1460 00:55:25,874 --> 00:55:29,187 - I don't know, maybe 20, 30 minutes? 1461 00:55:29,222 --> 00:55:30,188 - I'm gonna kill you! 1462 00:55:30,223 --> 00:55:31,120 - [Richard] I'm on my way! 1463 00:55:31,155 --> 00:55:32,398 I am coming, don't worry! 1464 00:55:32,432 --> 00:55:33,951 - You're gonna stay on this phone 1465 00:55:33,985 --> 00:55:36,091 until you get here or this baby does, do you hear me? 1466 00:55:36,125 --> 00:55:37,368 - Yup, yup. 1467 00:55:37,403 --> 00:55:38,921 - [Man] Come on, I gotta get to work! 1468 00:55:38,956 --> 00:55:40,267 - I'm stayin' on the phone. 1469 00:55:40,302 --> 00:55:41,407 - Thanks for your help, Nick. 1470 00:55:41,441 --> 00:55:43,650 - Oh, sure, anytime. 1471 00:55:43,685 --> 00:55:45,376 - Hey, Fabular, check it out! 1472 00:55:45,411 --> 00:55:46,722 [grunting] 1473 00:55:46,757 --> 00:55:48,345 - Oh, that's impressive. 1474 00:55:48,379 --> 00:55:50,761 The next time I need a bodyguard, I'm gonna give you a call. 1475 00:55:50,795 --> 00:55:53,798 - Well, it is a small world after all. 1476 00:55:53,833 --> 00:55:56,283 Hello, Ernie, long time no see. 1477 00:55:56,318 --> 00:55:57,837 - I beg your pardon? 1478 00:55:57,871 --> 00:55:59,321 - I think you made a mistake. 1479 00:55:59,356 --> 00:56:00,564 This is The Amazing Fabular. 1480 00:56:00,598 --> 00:56:02,220 - Oh, yes, yes it is. 1481 00:56:02,255 --> 00:56:04,430 Also known as Ernie Swanson. 1482 00:56:04,464 --> 00:56:08,330 Cerritos Clown University, class of 1994. 1483 00:56:08,365 --> 00:56:09,987 - You went to Clown College? 1484 00:56:10,021 --> 00:56:11,437 - You bet he did. 1485 00:56:11,471 --> 00:56:14,371 Only unlike the rest of our class who dedicated our talents 1486 00:56:14,405 --> 00:56:16,580 to the entertaining of children, 1487 00:56:16,614 --> 00:56:19,479 Ernie here parlayed his skills into bilking aging actresses 1488 00:56:19,514 --> 00:56:21,688 and rich widows out of their bank accounts. 1489 00:56:21,723 --> 00:56:23,138 - How dare you! 1490 00:56:23,172 --> 00:56:24,519 - Is that true? 1491 00:56:24,553 --> 00:56:26,037 - Of course not! 1492 00:56:26,072 --> 00:56:28,695 I've never laid eyes on this wannabe Jackie Chan! 1493 00:56:28,730 --> 00:56:29,869 - Oh, yeah, yeah, all right. 1494 00:56:29,903 --> 00:56:31,388 Well, maybe this will jog your memory? 1495 00:56:31,422 --> 00:56:34,045 I was there the night Ernie here got so loaded on grog 1496 00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:35,495 at the Renaissance fair, 1497 00:56:35,530 --> 00:56:39,982 he got a drawing of Justin Timberlake tattooed on his butt! 1498 00:56:40,017 --> 00:56:41,467 - I will not stand here 1499 00:56:41,501 --> 00:56:45,022 and listen to any more of this psychotic slander! 1500 00:56:45,056 --> 00:56:47,542 - Look, Nick, I meant what I said before. 1501 00:56:47,576 --> 00:56:48,991 I wish you luck. 1502 00:56:49,026 --> 00:56:51,200 But if you're receiving messages from this con artist, 1503 00:56:51,235 --> 00:56:54,721 then you're gonna need a whole lot more than luck. 1504 00:56:54,756 --> 00:56:56,827 Mason, you're a good kid. 1505 00:56:56,861 --> 00:56:58,518 I hope you find your mom. 1506 00:56:58,553 --> 00:56:59,416 - Thanks. 1507 00:57:01,832 --> 00:57:04,075 - Goodness, this creature has taken leave! 1508 00:57:04,110 --> 00:57:05,560 It's no wonder Mr. Sparkles 1509 00:57:05,594 --> 00:57:09,495 didn't leap to my defense and rip out her jugular! 1510 00:57:11,117 --> 00:57:13,706 - Mason, will you just hang out here for a second? 1511 00:57:13,740 --> 00:57:15,949 I'm gonna talk to Fabbie for a minute. 1512 00:57:15,984 --> 00:57:17,641 - Okay. - What are you doing? 1513 00:57:17,675 --> 00:57:18,676 - [Nick] Oh, come on. 1514 00:57:18,711 --> 00:57:20,540 - Okay, unhand me! 1515 00:57:20,575 --> 00:57:21,610 - Show me your ass. 1516 00:57:21,645 --> 00:57:22,577 - What are you, 1517 00:57:22,611 --> 00:57:23,992 You let me go right now! 1518 00:57:24,026 --> 00:57:25,200 - Show me your ass right now! - Let me go right now! 1519 00:57:25,234 --> 00:57:26,650 - Look, I'm gonna ask you one last time, 1520 00:57:26,684 --> 00:57:30,274 do you or do you not have Justin Timberlake on your ass? 1521 00:57:30,308 --> 00:57:31,240 - So that's it? 1522 00:57:31,275 --> 00:57:32,449 That's how you treat a friend? 1523 00:57:32,483 --> 00:57:33,933 - We are not friends. 1524 00:57:33,967 --> 00:57:36,142 - So you'd just take the word of a total stranger? 1525 00:57:36,176 --> 00:57:39,248 - You're the total stranger. 1526 00:57:39,283 --> 00:57:43,529 And this hereby terminates our association. 1527 00:57:43,563 --> 00:57:44,702 I don't wanna see you. 1528 00:57:44,737 --> 00:57:46,152 I don't wanna hear from you. 1529 00:57:46,186 --> 00:57:49,845 You get back into your Fab-Mobile, get outta here. 1530 00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:51,329 - Nicholas, wait. 1531 00:57:56,473 --> 00:57:59,924 Don't speak bad of me in front of the boy, okay? 1532 00:57:59,959 --> 00:58:02,824 You don't know what he means to me. 1533 00:58:04,550 --> 00:58:06,344 That woman was right. 1534 00:58:06,379 --> 00:58:09,106 I'm a fake, a fraud, a charlatan. 1535 00:58:11,971 --> 00:58:14,905 I've spent most of my life duping people out of money 1536 00:58:14,939 --> 00:58:21,118 by pretending to offer them hope, faith, closure. 1537 00:58:21,463 --> 00:58:22,395 - Why are you telling me this now? 1538 00:58:22,429 --> 00:58:23,258 - Because 1539 00:58:25,950 --> 00:58:28,435 when that boy popped in my head, 1540 00:58:28,470 --> 00:58:31,300 I instantly knew things about him. 1541 00:58:32,647 --> 00:58:36,823 I could feel his confusion, I could feel his pain, 1542 00:58:36,858 --> 00:58:39,205 I could feel his loneliness. 1543 00:58:39,239 --> 00:58:41,621 And I knew I had to help him. 1544 00:58:44,451 --> 00:58:46,695 You accused me of stealing money from his foster mother. 1545 00:58:46,730 --> 00:58:49,940 I have not taken a single penny. 1546 00:58:49,974 --> 00:58:54,703 'Cause that boy offers something far more valuable. 1547 00:58:54,738 --> 00:58:59,432 He makes me believe I can be a better version of myself. 1548 00:59:03,332 --> 00:59:06,266 And I know if, given the opportunity, 1549 00:59:06,301 --> 00:59:09,028 he can do the same thing for you. 1550 00:59:12,756 --> 00:59:16,035 - I really wanna believe you right now. 1551 00:59:20,695 --> 00:59:22,559 - Well, believe this. 1552 00:59:22,593 --> 00:59:24,526 If you cut me out of that boy's life, 1553 00:59:24,561 --> 00:59:26,390 I will never help you again. 1554 00:59:26,424 --> 00:59:30,152 And mark my words, you're gonna need my help. 1555 00:59:31,913 --> 00:59:34,743 - Well, I guess we'll never know. 1556 00:59:34,778 --> 00:59:35,606 - Up, up. 1557 00:59:43,649 --> 00:59:45,029 Good luck, Mason. 1558 00:59:45,892 --> 00:59:49,171 Sorry I can't finish our quest. 1559 00:59:49,206 --> 00:59:51,484 I have a speech to deliver. 1560 00:59:55,557 --> 00:59:58,629 [light mellow music] 1561 01:00:05,878 --> 01:00:07,776 - Okay, everything's looking great, Kelly. 1562 01:00:07,811 --> 01:00:08,639 - Good. - Just keep 1563 01:00:08,674 --> 01:00:09,606 doing your breathing. 1564 01:00:09,640 --> 01:00:11,573 - Great, Richard, breathing. 1565 01:00:11,608 --> 01:00:13,195 I wasn't listening, I'm sorry! 1566 01:00:13,230 --> 01:00:14,127 - Okay, breathe, baby. 1567 01:00:14,162 --> 01:00:16,129 One, two, three, breathe. 1568 01:00:16,992 --> 01:00:19,926 [breathing deeply] 1569 01:00:21,169 --> 01:00:22,446 - [All] Very good. 1570 01:00:22,480 --> 01:00:23,930 - Doing great? - Great, you're doing great! 1571 01:00:23,965 --> 01:00:24,862 - [Doctor] Now we're gonna to start to push, okay? 1572 01:00:24,897 --> 01:00:27,451 - Okay, yeah, okay, okay, okay. 1573 01:00:29,384 --> 01:00:30,178 No, no, no, wait, wait, wait! 1574 01:00:30,212 --> 01:00:31,110 Wait, wait, wait! 1575 01:00:31,144 --> 01:00:31,835 You have to sing the song! 1576 01:00:31,869 --> 01:00:32,732 - What song? 1577 01:00:32,767 --> 01:00:34,009 - Richard, tell her! 1578 01:00:34,044 --> 01:00:35,977 - Deep Inside of You by Third Eye Blind. 1579 01:00:36,011 --> 01:00:37,530 - Why do I have to sing that song? 1580 01:00:37,564 --> 01:00:38,704 - [Richard] 'Cause that was the song that was playing 1581 01:00:38,738 --> 01:00:39,705 when Kelly and I were making our baby. 1582 01:00:39,739 --> 01:00:41,223 - Didn't need to know that. 1583 01:00:41,258 --> 01:00:44,192 - No, no, but wait, wait, we promised each other 1584 01:00:44,226 --> 01:00:47,126 that we'd sing this song during the birth. 1585 01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:48,092 So just sing it! 1586 01:00:48,127 --> 01:00:49,404 - I don't know the words! 1587 01:00:49,438 --> 01:00:51,130 - It's okay, you guys sing the chorus 1588 01:00:51,164 --> 01:00:54,064 and I'll help you get through it. 1589 01:00:54,098 --> 01:00:57,170 ♪ My friends say I've changed 1590 01:00:57,205 --> 01:01:02,106 ♪ I don't listen 'cause I need to be ♪ 1591 01:01:02,866 --> 01:01:05,662 ♪ Deep inside of you 1592 01:01:05,696 --> 01:01:07,594 ♪ Slide up her dress 1593 01:01:07,629 --> 01:01:09,769 ♪ Shouts in darkness 1594 01:01:09,804 --> 01:01:13,393 ♪ I'm so alive 1595 01:01:13,428 --> 01:01:16,189 ♪ And I'm deep inside of you 1596 01:01:16,224 --> 01:01:20,573 ♪ You said boy make girl feel good ♪ 1597 01:01:20,607 --> 01:01:23,714 ♪ But still, deep inside 1598 01:01:23,749 --> 01:01:25,716 ♪ Still 1599 01:01:27,131 --> 01:01:28,098 - Okay, Kelly, 1600 01:01:28,132 --> 01:01:30,479 just one good, strong push. 1601 01:01:30,514 --> 01:01:31,722 - Right, okay, okay. 1602 01:01:31,757 --> 01:01:33,897 I'm gonna push now. 1603 01:01:33,931 --> 01:01:35,622 Ready? - Push, push! 1604 01:01:37,383 --> 01:01:39,937 ♪ When we met light was shed 1605 01:01:39,972 --> 01:01:42,733 ♪ Thoughts free flow, you said you've got ♪ 1606 01:01:42,768 --> 01:01:44,390 - Richard! 1607 01:01:44,424 --> 01:01:48,808 ♪ Something deep inside of you 1608 01:01:48,843 --> 01:01:51,742 ♪ A wind chime voice sound - Hi! 1609 01:01:51,777 --> 01:01:53,399 - Aw, Kelly, you did it! ♪ Sway of your hips 1610 01:01:53,433 --> 01:01:57,161 ♪ Round rings true 1611 01:01:57,196 --> 01:02:02,097 ♪ It goes deep inside of you 1612 01:02:05,066 --> 01:02:08,241 ♪ Deep inside of you 1613 01:02:09,104 --> 01:02:11,106 - Hi, Joanna, it's Nick. 1614 01:02:12,245 --> 01:02:14,903 Yeah, we had some unexpected diversions 1615 01:02:14,938 --> 01:02:17,043 but we're on our way now. 1616 01:02:18,010 --> 01:02:18,838 Who's we? 1617 01:02:19,977 --> 01:02:21,220 That's why I'm calling you again. 1618 01:02:21,254 --> 01:02:22,877 I have to ask you something 1619 01:02:22,911 --> 01:02:26,363 before we waste each other's time. 1620 01:02:26,397 --> 01:02:29,884 And forgive me for being blunt about this. 1621 01:02:33,301 --> 01:02:36,856 Did you and I have a kid together that I'm unaware of 1622 01:02:36,891 --> 01:02:39,410 that you gave up for adoption? 1623 01:02:42,344 --> 01:02:45,451 [mellow piano music] 1624 01:02:56,324 --> 01:02:58,567 - So what are we doing now? 1625 01:03:00,052 --> 01:03:02,848 - We're gonna go meet your mother. 1626 01:03:07,784 --> 01:03:09,199 - Are you sleepy? 1627 01:03:10,407 --> 01:03:12,478 Look at the little hands. 1628 01:03:14,307 --> 01:03:16,309 Thank you for being here with me. 1629 01:03:16,344 --> 01:03:17,552 And thank you for singing. 1630 01:03:17,586 --> 01:03:20,141 - I'm very sorry I did not know the words. 1631 01:03:20,175 --> 01:03:20,969 Was I horrible? 1632 01:03:21,004 --> 01:03:23,144 - No, you were perfect. 1633 01:03:23,178 --> 01:03:25,042 - She's so beautiful. 1634 01:03:25,077 --> 01:03:28,528 - Yeah, this may prevent me 1635 01:03:28,563 --> 01:03:30,945 from being your maid of honor on Sunday. 1636 01:03:30,979 --> 01:03:32,118 - I'm not so sure there's gonna be a need 1637 01:03:32,153 --> 01:03:33,775 for a maid of honor Sunday. 1638 01:03:33,810 --> 01:03:35,328 - What? 1639 01:03:35,363 --> 01:03:39,470 Why, you're still gonna marry Nick, aren't you? 1640 01:03:39,505 --> 01:03:41,507 So he has a lot of exes. 1641 01:03:42,888 --> 01:03:43,854 And he lied. 1642 01:03:45,028 --> 01:03:46,477 And he may have some illegitimate children 1643 01:03:46,512 --> 01:03:51,517 you don't know about but still, you two belong together. 1644 01:03:52,690 --> 01:03:54,520 - Wait, what are you talking about? 1645 01:03:56,418 --> 01:03:58,558 You just spent the last 48 hours trying to convince me 1646 01:03:58,593 --> 01:04:00,112 Nick is a monster. 1647 01:04:00,146 --> 01:04:02,804 What about protecting me? 1648 01:04:02,839 --> 01:04:03,667 - Yeah. 1649 01:04:06,946 --> 01:04:09,569 I'm all done protecting you. 1650 01:04:09,604 --> 01:04:13,159 I have someone else to protect now. 1651 01:04:13,194 --> 01:04:14,436 - I did it, baby! 1652 01:04:14,471 --> 01:04:16,059 I made it to the hospital, I'm here! 1653 01:04:16,093 --> 01:04:17,681 I'm coming! 1654 01:04:17,715 --> 01:04:18,889 - Okay, love you. 1655 01:04:18,924 --> 01:04:19,856 - I know! 1656 01:04:19,890 --> 01:04:21,202 I love you, too! 1657 01:04:23,135 --> 01:04:24,999 - So Nick may have sowed more seed 1658 01:04:25,033 --> 01:04:26,483 than John Deere in the past. 1659 01:04:26,517 --> 01:04:30,797 You are the one he chose to spend the rest of his life with. 1660 01:04:30,832 --> 01:04:31,868 He loves you. 1661 01:04:35,941 --> 01:04:39,047 And I know that you are gonna make the right decision. 1662 01:04:43,258 --> 01:04:44,742 Oh! 1663 01:04:44,777 --> 01:04:46,261 - Sorry, I'm late. 1664 01:04:46,296 --> 01:04:47,711 Did I miss something? 1665 01:04:47,745 --> 01:04:50,058 - You're so stupid. 1666 01:04:50,093 --> 01:04:51,473 Meet your daughter. 1667 01:04:51,508 --> 01:04:52,923 - It's a girl? 1668 01:04:52,958 --> 01:04:54,960 - Stephanie Jenkins Kowalski. 1669 01:04:54,994 --> 01:04:56,340 - [Richard] Oh! 1670 01:05:00,379 --> 01:05:02,277 - She's totally asleep. 1671 01:05:05,418 --> 01:05:08,525 [mellow piano music] 1672 01:05:13,219 --> 01:05:16,222 [people chattering] 1673 01:05:18,224 --> 01:05:19,846 - This is it, 305. 1674 01:05:25,680 --> 01:05:26,715 You ready? 1675 01:05:26,750 --> 01:05:28,510 - I think so. 1676 01:05:28,545 --> 01:05:29,787 - Come on then. 1677 01:05:34,206 --> 01:05:35,414 It's gonna be okay. 1678 01:05:35,448 --> 01:05:37,347 This is what you've been waiting for. 1679 01:05:37,381 --> 01:05:39,280 - Yeah, I'm just a little nervous. 1680 01:05:39,314 --> 01:05:40,143 - Me too. 1681 01:05:43,732 --> 01:05:45,251 Stand up straight. 1682 01:05:45,286 --> 01:05:47,736 First impressions are essential to new relationships, 1683 01:05:47,771 --> 01:05:49,083 don't you think? 1684 01:05:52,362 --> 01:05:55,710 - Well, it took you long enough. 1685 01:05:55,744 --> 01:05:57,436 Look at you, Nick. 1686 01:05:57,470 --> 01:05:58,678 You look like the same self-centered ass 1687 01:05:58,713 --> 01:06:00,887 I fell for all those years ago. 1688 01:06:00,922 --> 01:06:03,925 You haven't changed a bit, have you? 1689 01:06:05,375 --> 01:06:06,203 This him? 1690 01:06:07,515 --> 01:06:08,792 What is his name again? 1691 01:06:08,826 --> 01:06:10,207 - My name's Mason. 1692 01:06:10,242 --> 01:06:11,657 It's nice to meet you. 1693 01:06:11,691 --> 01:06:12,969 - Mason? 1694 01:06:13,003 --> 01:06:15,143 Did I name you that? 1695 01:06:15,178 --> 01:06:16,731 What kind of name is Mason? 1696 01:06:16,765 --> 01:06:19,837 Like a cartoon moose or something. 1697 01:06:19,872 --> 01:06:21,632 You know what I mean? 1698 01:06:22,944 --> 01:06:24,152 I'm kidding, it's cute. 1699 01:06:24,187 --> 01:06:27,500 Come on in, meet your brothers and sisters. 1700 01:06:29,054 --> 01:06:32,022 [kids laughing] 1701 01:06:32,057 --> 01:06:32,919 Hey! 1702 01:06:37,372 --> 01:06:38,787 Mason, I don't know if you ate, hon. 1703 01:06:38,822 --> 01:06:43,240 We have Easy Mac or Cap'n Crunch if you want. 1704 01:06:43,275 --> 01:06:44,586 - I'm okay, thanks. 1705 01:06:44,621 --> 01:06:45,415 - Okay. 1706 01:06:45,449 --> 01:06:47,313 Hey, listen up. 1707 01:06:50,247 --> 01:06:52,042 This is Mason, he's your new brother. 1708 01:06:52,077 --> 01:06:54,976 This is Frankie, Lenny, Johnny and, 1709 01:06:56,771 --> 01:06:57,599 Todd. 1710 01:06:58,980 --> 01:07:01,258 I was going to meetings when I had him, so. 1711 01:07:01,293 --> 01:07:03,674 So this little cutie is Rachel. 1712 01:07:03,709 --> 01:07:05,124 Can you say hello? 1713 01:07:05,159 --> 01:07:06,298 Yeah. 1714 01:07:06,332 --> 01:07:07,989 - Where's their dad? 1715 01:07:08,024 --> 01:07:11,303 Lock-up, rehab, shacked up with a pole dancer in Barstow 1716 01:07:11,337 --> 01:07:12,925 and buried in Texas. 1717 01:07:12,959 --> 01:07:14,858 But we don't talk about that. 1718 01:07:14,892 --> 01:07:17,240 Frankie, here, take your sister. 1719 01:07:17,274 --> 01:07:19,897 Get that crap out of your hair. 1720 01:07:19,932 --> 01:07:21,071 Get her a toy. 1721 01:07:22,521 --> 01:07:24,074 Mason, why don't you sit with the boys and watch TV 1722 01:07:24,109 --> 01:07:26,283 while your daddy and I have a little talk, okay? 1723 01:07:26,318 --> 01:07:27,940 - Yeah, yeah, sure. 1724 01:07:33,256 --> 01:07:34,084 Hey, guys. 1725 01:07:36,914 --> 01:07:39,572 [kids giggling] 1726 01:07:42,955 --> 01:07:44,543 - All right, I'll take him. 1727 01:07:44,577 --> 01:07:46,096 - You'll take him? 1728 01:07:46,131 --> 01:07:49,479 - Yeah, that's why you came all the way here, isn't it? 1729 01:07:49,513 --> 01:07:51,998 Obviously you don't want him. 1730 01:07:52,033 --> 01:07:55,968 - Well, it's not that I don't want him, I just 1731 01:07:56,796 --> 01:07:57,728 have my reasons. 1732 01:07:57,763 --> 01:07:58,729 - Oh, yeah, sure. 1733 01:07:58,764 --> 01:08:00,386 You boys always have your reasons. 1734 01:08:03,562 --> 01:08:05,081 - Why didn't you ever tell me? 1735 01:08:07,462 --> 01:08:09,292 - You were gone, Nick. 1736 01:08:11,535 --> 01:08:13,054 You disappeared on me. 1737 01:08:13,089 --> 01:08:17,265 No goodbye, no good luck, not even a good riddance. 1738 01:08:17,300 --> 01:08:18,439 - I'm sorry. 1739 01:08:18,473 --> 01:08:19,750 - Oh, no. 1740 01:08:19,785 --> 01:08:22,408 I'm sure you had your reasons. 1741 01:08:22,443 --> 01:08:23,340 I had mine. 1742 01:08:25,170 --> 01:08:28,104 I was young, scared, alone. 1743 01:08:31,245 --> 01:08:33,350 I couldn't even afford a phone. 1744 01:08:33,385 --> 01:08:35,732 So, you know, I gave him up. 1745 01:08:36,871 --> 01:08:38,562 I felt so damned guilty about it, 1746 01:08:38,597 --> 01:08:41,772 I vowed never to give up a baby again. 1747 01:08:42,911 --> 01:08:45,880 You can see how well that turned out. 1748 01:08:47,261 --> 01:08:50,609 - I'm sorry, I can't imagine how hard it would be to 1749 01:08:50,643 --> 01:08:52,887 raise all those kids alone. 1750 01:08:54,302 --> 01:08:56,166 - Oh, well, at least he's old enough to get a work permit. 1751 01:08:56,201 --> 01:08:59,065 If nothing else, he'll be another source of income. 1752 01:08:59,100 --> 01:09:02,586 - Listen, I fully intend to contribute to his well-being so. 1753 01:09:02,621 --> 01:09:05,831 - Yeah, oh, yeah, you will be doing that, too. 1754 01:09:05,865 --> 01:09:07,419 I'm sure you can afford it 1755 01:09:07,453 --> 01:09:11,216 being you're the famous kid-hater and all that. 1756 01:09:11,250 --> 01:09:13,666 You should follow me around for a day. 1757 01:09:13,701 --> 01:09:16,186 You'd get some great material. 1758 01:09:17,049 --> 01:09:17,877 Seriously. 1759 01:09:19,327 --> 01:09:21,674 [chuckling] 1760 01:09:24,677 --> 01:09:25,851 All right, I'm curious. 1761 01:09:25,885 --> 01:09:27,991 What are your reasons this time around? 1762 01:09:28,025 --> 01:09:31,926 - Well, for one thing, I'm getting married on Sunday. 1763 01:09:31,960 --> 01:09:34,066 - Congratulations. 1764 01:09:34,100 --> 01:09:35,481 Let me guess. 1765 01:09:35,516 --> 01:09:37,207 She's a total peach with a rocking body 1766 01:09:37,242 --> 01:09:40,003 and a personality so sunny she blooms daffodils 1767 01:09:40,037 --> 01:09:41,591 right outta her ass. 1768 01:09:41,625 --> 01:09:42,488 - Hey. 1769 01:09:45,457 --> 01:09:48,736 - She doesn't know about him, does she? 1770 01:09:50,634 --> 01:09:52,981 [chuckling] 1771 01:09:54,259 --> 01:09:55,639 That's rich, man. 1772 01:09:58,021 --> 01:09:59,712 Nothing like starting a lifelong commitment 1773 01:09:59,747 --> 01:10:01,576 with a big fat secret. 1774 01:10:03,923 --> 01:10:06,547 [laughing] 1775 01:10:06,581 --> 01:10:08,756 Good luck with that, Nick. 1776 01:10:10,378 --> 01:10:14,175 - Mom, Lenny and Johnny are tattooing the baby again! 1777 01:10:14,210 --> 01:10:15,487 - Oh, for Christ sake! 1778 01:10:15,521 --> 01:10:17,213 You little monsters! 1779 01:10:17,247 --> 01:10:21,147 What have I told you about drawing on the baby, huh? 1780 01:10:21,182 --> 01:10:23,184 This is permanent marker! 1781 01:10:23,219 --> 01:10:25,462 What is wrong with you two? 1782 01:10:29,397 --> 01:10:31,986 Everybody go to bed right now! 1783 01:10:37,302 --> 01:10:38,234 Well, that's another two weeks 1784 01:10:38,268 --> 01:10:39,959 I can't take her out in public. 1785 01:10:39,994 --> 01:10:41,685 I know, I know, honey. 1786 01:10:41,720 --> 01:10:44,585 Frankie, go get the air mattress out of the shed. 1787 01:10:44,619 --> 01:10:45,793 I'm putting Mason in with you three. 1788 01:10:45,827 --> 01:10:46,863 - Oh, come on! 1789 01:10:46,897 --> 01:10:47,829 There no room in there as it-- 1790 01:10:47,864 --> 01:10:50,142 - Hey, do not back talk me. 1791 01:10:50,176 --> 01:10:53,628 - It's fine, I'll just sleep on the couch. 1792 01:10:54,940 --> 01:10:55,941 - Well, thank you, Mason. 1793 01:10:55,975 --> 01:10:57,287 That's very helpful. 1794 01:10:57,322 --> 01:10:58,392 I gotta go clean her up. 1795 01:10:58,426 --> 01:11:00,601 Say goodbye to your father. 1796 01:11:08,333 --> 01:11:10,369 - [Mason] I'd just like to say thank you. 1797 01:11:10,404 --> 01:11:11,853 - [Nick] For what? 1798 01:11:11,888 --> 01:11:15,547 - For keeping your promise and helping me find my mother. 1799 01:11:15,581 --> 01:11:17,031 - You're welcome. 1800 01:11:18,412 --> 01:11:19,275 Listen. 1801 01:11:21,794 --> 01:11:24,280 Is there anything you need or, 1802 01:11:25,936 --> 01:11:26,868 anything I can-- 1803 01:11:26,903 --> 01:11:28,456 - No, I'll be fine. 1804 01:11:29,871 --> 01:11:32,357 I told you, all I wanted from you was this one thing 1805 01:11:32,391 --> 01:11:33,737 and you did it. 1806 01:11:33,772 --> 01:11:36,706 Now you can go off and get married. 1807 01:11:38,155 --> 01:11:40,123 - Yeah, well, that seems kinda questionable at this point. 1808 01:11:40,157 --> 01:11:41,331 - Why? 1809 01:11:41,366 --> 01:11:42,746 I thought once I was out of the way, 1810 01:11:42,781 --> 01:11:44,507 you'd be free to get married. 1811 01:11:44,541 --> 01:11:46,129 - Well, it seemed that way last night 1812 01:11:46,163 --> 01:11:49,926 but this has been a very, very, very long day. 1813 01:11:52,342 --> 01:11:53,136 Are you all right? 1814 01:11:53,170 --> 01:11:54,724 What are you doing? 1815 01:11:56,139 --> 01:11:57,899 - I'm calling on my own psychic powers 1816 01:11:57,934 --> 01:12:00,143 to see how things turn out. 1817 01:12:03,871 --> 01:12:05,286 - [Nick] Well? 1818 01:12:05,321 --> 01:12:06,322 - Well what? 1819 01:12:07,495 --> 01:12:10,291 - Well, aren't you gonna tell me what's in store? 1820 01:12:10,326 --> 01:12:11,430 - Heck, no. 1821 01:12:11,465 --> 01:12:13,052 That'd be cheating. 1822 01:12:14,122 --> 01:12:15,538 - What a rip-off. 1823 01:12:17,091 --> 01:12:20,197 [mellow piano music] 1824 01:12:57,407 --> 01:12:58,339 - Well, I mean, this seemed like 1825 01:12:58,374 --> 01:13:00,410 the perfect moment to say it. 1826 01:13:00,445 --> 01:13:01,860 You're my father. 1827 01:13:07,866 --> 01:13:10,213 Is there any way I could take a piece of that for the road? 1828 01:13:10,247 --> 01:13:11,835 [screaming] 1829 01:13:11,870 --> 01:13:13,181 When was the last time you had your radar gun 1830 01:13:13,216 --> 01:13:15,356 calibrated for accuracy? 1831 01:13:15,391 --> 01:13:16,875 Are you a ninja? 1832 01:13:16,909 --> 01:13:20,050 - I knew I had met the man of my dreams when he spoke 1833 01:13:20,085 --> 01:13:23,916 these three precious words to me, I hate kids. 1834 01:13:26,850 --> 01:13:29,128 - So, what is that thing anyway? 1835 01:13:29,163 --> 01:13:30,647 - It's a fidget spinner. 1836 01:13:30,682 --> 01:13:31,924 It helps keep me calm. 1837 01:13:31,959 --> 01:13:32,856 - [Nick] Oh, yeah? 1838 01:13:32,891 --> 01:13:34,962 I could use one of those. 1839 01:13:50,667 --> 01:13:53,567 [doorbell ringing] 1840 01:14:02,023 --> 01:14:03,473 Hi. 1841 01:14:03,508 --> 01:14:04,370 - Hi. 1842 01:14:12,896 --> 01:14:14,104 - Thanks for coming by. 1843 01:14:14,139 --> 01:14:17,901 - It was at the top of my to-do list today. 1844 01:14:17,936 --> 01:14:21,008 How was the lecture in Santa Barbara? 1845 01:14:24,977 --> 01:14:26,979 - There was no lecture. 1846 01:14:27,014 --> 01:14:28,429 - I know. 1847 01:14:28,464 --> 01:14:29,672 - We need to have a serious-- 1848 01:14:29,706 --> 01:14:31,501 - I'm calling off the wedding, Nick. 1849 01:14:31,536 --> 01:14:32,675 - That's what I was gonna do. 1850 01:14:32,709 --> 01:14:34,953 - Well, it's too late, I just did it. 1851 01:14:34,987 --> 01:14:36,299 - Yeah, I heard that. 1852 01:14:36,333 --> 01:14:37,749 - Why were you gonna call it off? 1853 01:14:37,783 --> 01:14:40,545 - Oh, no, you called it off first, you gotta say why first. 1854 01:14:40,579 --> 01:14:42,926 - Well, I first considered it 1855 01:14:42,961 --> 01:14:44,756 when I found out there wasn't a lecture 1856 01:14:44,790 --> 01:14:47,206 in Santa Barbara or wherever. 1857 01:14:48,138 --> 01:14:48,932 - That's what did it? 1858 01:14:48,967 --> 01:14:50,347 - No. 1859 01:14:50,382 --> 01:14:52,557 And then I found this giant box of girlfriends 1860 01:14:52,591 --> 01:14:54,455 which was horrifying. 1861 01:14:54,490 --> 01:14:57,113 How did you ever find time to write a book? 1862 01:14:57,147 --> 01:14:58,459 - So that's why you're calling it off? 1863 01:14:58,494 --> 01:14:59,287 - No. 1864 01:14:59,322 --> 01:15:00,530 - No? 1865 01:15:00,565 --> 01:15:02,636 - It wasn't your lying in the present 1866 01:15:02,670 --> 01:15:06,536 and it wasn't my trolling around the past. 1867 01:15:06,571 --> 01:15:08,434 It's about the future. 1868 01:15:09,953 --> 01:15:11,196 - You don't want to marry me 1869 01:15:11,230 --> 01:15:12,646 because of something I haven't done yet? 1870 01:15:12,680 --> 01:15:14,682 - It's not about you, Nick. 1871 01:15:14,717 --> 01:15:16,063 It's about me. 1872 01:15:16,097 --> 01:15:17,305 - You don't want to marry me 1873 01:15:17,340 --> 01:15:20,446 because of something you haven't done yet? 1874 01:15:22,000 --> 01:15:23,898 - I've changed my mind. 1875 01:15:25,659 --> 01:15:27,523 I wanna have a family. 1876 01:15:28,765 --> 01:15:29,766 I want kids. 1877 01:15:33,390 --> 01:15:34,737 Nick. 1878 01:15:34,771 --> 01:15:37,429 - You need to trust me, Sydney. 1879 01:15:37,463 --> 01:15:42,054 I've loved you since the first time I saw you. 1880 01:15:42,089 --> 01:15:45,644 I love you with every molecule of my being. 1881 01:15:45,679 --> 01:15:48,578 I don't wanna be without you, ever. 1882 01:15:50,200 --> 01:15:52,064 You believe that, right? 1883 01:15:52,099 --> 01:15:53,583 - Yes. 1884 01:15:53,618 --> 01:15:55,930 - Then come with me. 1885 01:15:55,965 --> 01:15:57,691 - Where are we going? 1886 01:15:58,761 --> 01:16:01,177 - I can't undo everything in my past 1887 01:16:01,211 --> 01:16:03,282 but there is one thing that I can change. 1888 01:16:03,317 --> 01:16:04,145 Come on. 1889 01:16:06,423 --> 01:16:09,565 [lively moving music] 1890 01:16:23,371 --> 01:16:25,408 - [Frank] I'm gonna get you, Johnny! 1891 01:16:25,442 --> 01:16:26,374 - Hey, hey! 1892 01:16:33,899 --> 01:16:35,004 Hello, Nick. 1893 01:16:40,112 --> 01:16:41,631 This must be daffodil. 1894 01:16:41,666 --> 01:16:43,046 - Hi, I'm Sydney. 1895 01:16:44,600 --> 01:16:46,049 - Please. 1896 01:16:46,084 --> 01:16:47,637 You forget something? 1897 01:16:47,672 --> 01:16:50,053 - I want Mason back. 1898 01:16:50,088 --> 01:16:52,400 - Really, what happened? 1899 01:16:52,435 --> 01:16:55,403 You feel guilty for a change? 1900 01:16:55,438 --> 01:16:57,336 What's it like for you? 1901 01:16:58,579 --> 01:16:59,822 - Just get him. 1902 01:16:59,856 --> 01:17:02,756 - Oh, I would love to but he's gone. 1903 01:17:02,790 --> 01:17:03,688 - Gone? 1904 01:17:03,722 --> 01:17:05,241 What do you mean he's gone? 1905 01:17:05,275 --> 01:17:06,276 - He snuck out in the middle of the night. 1906 01:17:06,311 --> 01:17:07,726 Just up and left. 1907 01:17:07,761 --> 01:17:11,212 Not a goodbye, not a good luck, not even a good riddance. 1908 01:17:11,247 --> 01:17:12,420 Congratulations, Nick, 1909 01:17:12,455 --> 01:17:14,768 he turned out to be just like you after all. 1910 01:17:14,802 --> 01:17:16,804 - Well, don't you have any idea where he is? 1911 01:17:16,839 --> 01:17:18,841 - What do I look like a mind reader? 1912 01:17:22,499 --> 01:17:24,743 - [The Amazing Fabular] I'm getting an A. 1913 01:17:24,778 --> 01:17:26,020 A really big A. 1914 01:17:29,127 --> 01:17:29,955 - Nick? 1915 01:17:36,790 --> 01:17:39,206 - I know how to find him. 1916 01:17:39,240 --> 01:17:42,312 - We, the gifted, face insurmountable odds 1917 01:17:42,347 --> 01:17:44,625 in a world that continues to lean in favor 1918 01:17:44,660 --> 01:17:47,386 of dark skepticism and disbelief. 1919 01:17:49,319 --> 01:17:51,839 For centuries, we were heralded and praised, 1920 01:17:51,874 --> 01:17:54,704 even worshipped for our abilities. 1921 01:17:54,739 --> 01:17:57,258 But in these troubled times, when what we provide 1922 01:17:57,293 --> 01:17:59,433 comfort and hope are needed the most, 1923 01:17:59,467 --> 01:18:02,781 we are shunned, vilified, even hunted 1924 01:18:02,816 --> 01:18:07,096 by those who cannot see past their own fears. 1925 01:18:07,130 --> 01:18:09,719 We all know that when things become their worst, 1926 01:18:09,754 --> 01:18:12,170 when what is desperately sought cannot be found 1927 01:18:12,204 --> 01:18:16,346 by traditional means, that is when skeptics bow their heads 1928 01:18:16,381 --> 01:18:19,315 and concede to their lack of sight. 1929 01:18:20,523 --> 01:18:21,766 How delightful! 1930 01:18:23,940 --> 01:18:26,909 I just love the smell of humble pie, don't you? 1931 01:18:26,943 --> 01:18:28,634 [attendees laughing] 1932 01:18:28,669 --> 01:18:30,084 At this time, Mr. Sparkles and I 1933 01:18:30,119 --> 01:18:31,810 will be entertaining your questions. 1934 01:18:31,845 --> 01:18:35,641 Just step right up to the mic and ask away. 1935 01:18:35,676 --> 01:18:37,954 Go on, don't be skittish. 1936 01:18:37,989 --> 01:18:38,817 Anyone? 1937 01:18:39,853 --> 01:18:42,200 No one have, of course. 1938 01:18:42,234 --> 01:18:43,857 If you are as gifted as I am, 1939 01:18:43,891 --> 01:18:47,067 you already know the answers, don't you? 1940 01:18:47,101 --> 01:18:48,378 Well, let's saunter over to the pool 1941 01:18:48,413 --> 01:18:50,311 for the pyrokinetic meet and greet. 1942 01:18:50,346 --> 01:18:51,554 In response to last year's faux pas, 1943 01:18:51,588 --> 01:18:53,280 I'm told there's much more fire extinguishers 1944 01:18:53,314 --> 01:18:54,730 this time around. 1945 01:18:56,007 --> 01:18:57,698 - I have a question. 1946 01:18:58,975 --> 01:19:02,151 Isn't it true that you're a fraud? 1947 01:19:02,185 --> 01:19:03,393 - I beg your pardon? 1948 01:19:03,428 --> 01:19:05,326 - Didn't you admit to me just yesterday 1949 01:19:05,361 --> 01:19:09,503 that your entire career was forged from being an imposter? 1950 01:19:09,537 --> 01:19:10,780 - Guards, will you escort this barbarian 1951 01:19:10,815 --> 01:19:12,506 off the premises, please? 1952 01:19:12,540 --> 01:19:13,334 - What are you doing? 1953 01:19:13,369 --> 01:19:14,266 - All right then-- 1954 01:19:14,301 --> 01:19:15,785 - Sir, you need to come with us. 1955 01:19:15,820 --> 01:19:17,062 - All right, I challenge you in front of all your peers 1956 01:19:17,097 --> 01:19:20,548 to prove that you are not a fake! 1957 01:19:20,583 --> 01:19:22,343 - How do you suppose I do that? 1958 01:19:22,378 --> 01:19:23,551 - Find my son. 1959 01:19:25,139 --> 01:19:26,347 Right now. 1960 01:19:26,382 --> 01:19:29,626 You found me for him, now find him for me. 1961 01:19:30,593 --> 01:19:33,423 I want him in my life. 1962 01:19:34,770 --> 01:19:36,288 - [Man] Just do it. 1963 01:19:36,323 --> 01:19:38,877 Do it, Fabular, come on. 1964 01:19:38,912 --> 01:19:41,604 - I got $500 here for the first psychic 1965 01:19:41,638 --> 01:19:43,951 that can find my son. 1966 01:19:43,986 --> 01:19:45,884 - He's on a train to Istanbul! 1967 01:19:45,919 --> 01:19:48,714 - He's at Delray Beach, tower 22! 1968 01:19:48,749 --> 01:19:51,476 - He's fishing in Lake Charles, Louisiana! 1969 01:19:51,510 --> 01:19:54,859 - He is in San Francisco at the opening of the opera. 1970 01:19:54,893 --> 01:19:55,756 - Wait! 1971 01:19:56,895 --> 01:20:02,073 He's in Pismo Beach at Melvin's house! 1972 01:20:03,281 --> 01:20:06,422 [psychics talking over each other] 1973 01:20:06,456 --> 01:20:08,113 - Do you actually need to be a psychic to take a guess? 1974 01:20:08,148 --> 01:20:10,253 [hushes] 1975 01:20:15,017 --> 01:20:16,018 - He's here. 1976 01:20:20,919 --> 01:20:22,541 - [Mason] Hi, Nick. 1977 01:20:24,198 --> 01:20:27,270 [mellow piano music] 1978 01:20:28,375 --> 01:20:29,203 - Hi, son. 1979 01:20:35,140 --> 01:20:36,590 - [Attendees] Aw. 1980 01:20:43,079 --> 01:20:46,807 - Hey, Mason, why would you run away? 1981 01:20:46,842 --> 01:20:50,431 - I came to ask Fabular if I could live with him. 1982 01:20:50,466 --> 01:20:51,916 I don't wanna live with my mother. 1983 01:20:51,950 --> 01:20:53,641 She isn't very nice. 1984 01:20:53,676 --> 01:20:57,231 - No, I think she's just not happy right now 1985 01:20:57,266 --> 01:20:58,198 but I think there's something we can do 1986 01:20:58,232 --> 01:20:59,924 to maybe change that. 1987 01:21:01,132 --> 01:21:03,341 - Hi, I'm Sydney. 1988 01:21:03,375 --> 01:21:05,550 It's nice to officially meet you. 1989 01:21:05,584 --> 01:21:07,310 - It's nice to meet you, Sydney. 1990 01:21:07,345 --> 01:21:09,968 Nick talks about you all the time. 1991 01:21:10,003 --> 01:21:12,868 - He is definitely yours. 1992 01:21:12,902 --> 01:21:14,870 - Hey, Fabular! 1993 01:21:14,904 --> 01:21:17,734 You said on the radio that Petey was on his way home to me! 1994 01:21:17,769 --> 01:21:19,322 But he was already dead! 1995 01:21:19,357 --> 01:21:21,014 You lied, you bastard! 1996 01:21:21,048 --> 01:21:22,912 This is for Petey! 1997 01:21:22,947 --> 01:21:25,846 [people shrieking] 1998 01:21:29,988 --> 01:21:30,851 - Whoa! 1999 01:21:32,059 --> 01:21:32,888 - Damn it! 2000 01:21:35,028 --> 01:21:36,822 - Whoa, are you okay? 2001 01:21:40,412 --> 01:21:41,413 - Scarecrow! 2002 01:21:42,725 --> 01:21:43,553 Tin Man! 2003 01:21:45,245 --> 01:21:46,039 My lion! 2004 01:21:49,387 --> 01:21:51,320 - Thank you, Ernie. 2005 01:21:51,354 --> 01:21:52,597 - I'll take my. 2006 01:21:54,979 --> 01:21:58,051 [light mellow music] 2007 01:22:04,160 --> 01:22:06,473 - Is there anyone here today who knows of a reason 2008 01:22:06,507 --> 01:22:10,926 why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony? 2009 01:22:15,033 --> 01:22:16,793 Good, ladies and gentlemen, 2010 01:22:16,828 --> 01:22:18,554 it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you 2011 01:22:18,588 --> 01:22:21,557 Mr. and Mrs. Nicholas Pearson. 2012 01:22:21,591 --> 01:22:22,834 [barks] 2013 01:22:22,868 --> 01:22:24,801 Kiss the bride. 2014 01:22:24,836 --> 01:22:27,839 [guests applauding] 2015 01:22:33,638 --> 01:22:37,090 - [DC the Brain Supreme] Party people! 2016 01:22:37,124 --> 01:22:40,127 Yeah, Tag Team music in full effect! 2017 01:22:41,473 --> 01:22:46,271 That's me, DC the Brain Supreme and my man Steve Roll'n! 2018 01:22:46,306 --> 01:22:47,065 ♪ We're kickin' the flow 2019 01:22:47,100 --> 01:22:48,342 ♪ We're kickin' the flow 2020 01:22:48,377 --> 01:22:49,619 ♪ And it goes a little something like this ♪ 2021 01:22:49,654 --> 01:22:51,449 ♪ Tag Team, back again 2022 01:22:51,483 --> 01:22:53,037 ♪ Check it to wreck it, let's begin ♪ 2023 01:22:53,071 --> 01:22:54,831 ♪ Party on, party people, let me hear some noise ♪ 2024 01:22:54,866 --> 01:22:56,695 ♪ DC's in the house, jump, jump, rejoice ♪ 2025 01:22:56,730 --> 01:22:58,525 ♪ There's a party over here, a party over there ♪ 2026 01:22:58,559 --> 01:23:00,285 ♪ Wave your hands in the air, shake your derriere ♪ 2027 01:23:00,320 --> 01:23:02,253 ♪ These three words mean you're gettin' busy ♪ 2028 01:23:02,287 --> 01:23:03,702 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2029 01:23:03,737 --> 01:23:05,842 ♪ Hit me, whoomp, there it is 2030 01:23:05,877 --> 01:23:07,810 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2031 01:23:07,844 --> 01:23:09,639 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2032 01:23:09,674 --> 01:23:11,710 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2033 01:23:11,745 --> 01:23:13,126 - Hey, hey, hey! 2034 01:23:14,058 --> 01:23:15,128 Hey! 2035 01:23:15,162 --> 01:23:16,888 - Excuse me. 2036 01:23:16,922 --> 01:23:19,132 Is this one of yours? 2037 01:23:19,166 --> 01:23:20,581 - Yep, afraid so. 2038 01:23:22,342 --> 01:23:23,343 Here you go. 2039 01:23:24,585 --> 01:23:28,003 Wow, your husband's a lucky man. 2040 01:23:28,037 --> 01:23:30,074 - [Kid] I want that one. 2041 01:23:30,108 --> 01:23:31,558 - I love kids. 2042 01:23:31,592 --> 01:23:35,044 - Oh, there is no husband. 2043 01:23:36,114 --> 01:23:37,184 It's just me. 2044 01:23:39,048 --> 01:23:40,705 - My name is Walter. 2045 01:23:41,775 --> 01:23:42,879 - Joanna. 2046 01:23:42,914 --> 01:23:44,191 - Joanna? 2047 01:23:44,226 --> 01:23:45,399 - Yeah. 2048 01:23:45,434 --> 01:23:47,056 - That's a beautiful name. 2049 01:23:47,091 --> 01:23:48,402 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2050 01:23:48,437 --> 01:23:52,406 ♪ Whoomp, shaka-laka-shaka-laka shaka-laka shaka ♪ 2051 01:23:52,441 --> 01:23:55,996 ♪ Whoomp, shaka-laka-shaka-laka shaka-laka shaka ♪ 2052 01:23:56,031 --> 01:23:59,413 ♪ Whoomp, shaka-laka-shaka-laka shaka-laka shaka ♪ 2053 01:23:59,448 --> 01:24:03,245 ♪ Whoomp, shaka-laka-shaka-laka shaka-laka shaka ♪ 2054 01:24:03,279 --> 01:24:05,040 ♪ Point blank, gin and juice I drink ♪ 2055 01:24:05,074 --> 01:24:06,834 ♪ And then invent as I puff on dank ♪ 2056 01:24:06,869 --> 01:24:08,595 ♪ Rock the mic, uh oh, I crave skin ♪ 2057 01:24:08,629 --> 01:24:10,562 ♪ Rip, find a honey dip to dip it in ♪ 2058 01:24:10,597 --> 01:24:12,702 ♪ Slam dunk it, stick it, flip it and ride ♪ 2059 01:24:12,737 --> 01:24:14,152 ♪ That B-double-O-T-Y, oh my 2060 01:24:14,187 --> 01:24:16,223 ♪ Ooh, that's it, come on, come on ♪ 2061 01:24:16,258 --> 01:24:18,329 ♪ Whoomp, there it is, I'm done ♪ 2062 01:24:18,363 --> 01:24:19,157 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2063 01:24:19,192 --> 01:24:20,020 ♪ Come on, y'all 2064 01:24:20,055 --> 01:24:21,125 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2065 01:24:21,159 --> 01:24:21,987 ♪ A little louder 2066 01:24:22,022 --> 01:24:23,161 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2067 01:24:23,196 --> 01:24:24,024 ♪ Come on, y'all 2068 01:24:24,059 --> 01:24:24,852 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2069 01:24:24,887 --> 01:24:25,681 ♪ Louder 2070 01:24:25,715 --> 01:24:26,854 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2071 01:24:26,889 --> 01:24:27,683 ♪ Come on, y'all 2072 01:24:27,717 --> 01:24:28,787 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2073 01:24:28,822 --> 01:24:29,616 ♪ A little louder 2074 01:24:29,650 --> 01:24:30,479 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2075 01:24:30,513 --> 01:24:31,307 ♪ Come on y'all 2076 01:24:31,342 --> 01:24:32,653 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2077 01:24:32,688 --> 01:24:33,482 ♪ Louder 2078 01:24:33,516 --> 01:24:34,414 ♪ Can ya feel it 2079 01:24:34,448 --> 01:24:35,311 ♪ We can feel it 2080 01:24:35,346 --> 01:24:36,174 ♪ Can ya feel it 2081 01:24:36,209 --> 01:24:37,072 ♪ We can feel it 2082 01:24:37,106 --> 01:24:38,487 ♪ Can ya feel it 2083 01:24:38,521 --> 01:24:39,315 ♪ We can feel it 2084 01:24:39,350 --> 01:24:40,144 ♪ Can ya feel it 2085 01:24:40,178 --> 01:24:41,006 ♪ We can feel it 2086 01:24:41,041 --> 01:24:41,835 ♪ Can ya feel it 2087 01:24:41,869 --> 01:24:42,663 ♪ We can feel it 2088 01:24:42,698 --> 01:24:43,492 ♪ Can ya feel it 2089 01:24:43,526 --> 01:24:44,389 ♪ We can feel it 2090 01:24:44,424 --> 01:24:45,494 ♪ Can ya feel it 2091 01:24:45,528 --> 01:24:46,322 ♪ We can feel it 2092 01:24:46,357 --> 01:24:47,289 ♪ Can ya feel it 2093 01:24:47,323 --> 01:24:48,428 ♪ We can feel it 2094 01:24:48,462 --> 01:24:49,843 ♪ Some say I'm crazy 'cause I'm pushing up daises ♪ 2095 01:24:49,877 --> 01:24:51,327 ♪ The underground sound that you have found ♪ 2096 01:24:51,362 --> 01:24:53,329 ♪ Amazing, outstanding, demanding ♪ 2097 01:24:53,364 --> 01:24:55,400 ♪ Commanding, you people dancing ♪ 2098 01:24:55,435 --> 01:24:57,437 ♪ Whoo, yeah, that's a breath taker ♪ 2099 01:24:57,471 --> 01:24:59,024 ♪ Our producer a.k.a. The Undertaker ♪ 2100 01:24:59,059 --> 01:25:01,061 ♪ You wanna come down to the underground old school ♪ 2101 01:25:01,096 --> 01:25:03,167 ♪ Here's a shovel, can you dig it, fool ♪ 2102 01:25:03,201 --> 01:25:04,029 ♪ Can you dig it 2103 01:25:04,064 --> 01:25:04,858 ♪ We can dig it 2104 01:25:04,892 --> 01:25:05,721 ♪ Can y'all dig it 2105 01:25:05,755 --> 01:25:06,860 ♪ We can dig it 2106 01:25:06,894 --> 01:25:07,688 ♪ Can you dig it 2107 01:25:07,723 --> 01:25:08,758 ♪ We can dig it 2108 01:25:08,793 --> 01:25:09,587 ♪ Can y'all dig it 2109 01:25:09,621 --> 01:25:10,415 ♪ We can dig it 2110 01:25:10,450 --> 01:25:11,244 ♪ Can you dig it 2111 01:25:11,278 --> 01:25:12,176 ♪ We can dig it 2112 01:25:12,210 --> 01:25:13,246 ♪ Can y'all dig it 2113 01:25:13,280 --> 01:25:14,212 ♪ We can dig it 2114 01:25:14,247 --> 01:25:15,075 ♪ Can you dig it 2115 01:25:15,110 --> 01:25:15,938 ♪ We can dig it 2116 01:25:15,972 --> 01:25:16,835 ♪ Can y'all dig it 2117 01:25:16,870 --> 01:25:17,802 ♪ We can dig it 2118 01:25:17,836 --> 01:25:19,424 ♪ W-H-double O-M-P as I flow 2119 01:25:19,459 --> 01:25:21,150 ♪ To the fly from the school of old ♪ 2120 01:25:21,185 --> 01:25:22,841 ♪ Hard core, keep' the folklore wrecked ♪ 2121 01:25:22,876 --> 01:25:24,429 ♪ Three to the two and one, mic check ♪ 2122 01:25:24,464 --> 01:25:26,328 ♪ Mad skill, flow ill, on the mess of steel ♪ 2123 01:25:26,362 --> 01:25:28,053 ♪ That's the grille of the microphone I just killed ♪ 2124 01:25:28,088 --> 01:25:30,021 ♪ Party people, there's your party, Tag Team is through ♪ 2125 01:25:30,055 --> 01:25:32,023 ♪ Whoomp there it is, I thought you knew ♪ 2126 01:25:32,057 --> 01:25:33,783 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2127 01:25:33,818 --> 01:25:35,682 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2128 01:25:35,716 --> 01:25:37,615 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2129 01:25:37,649 --> 01:25:39,444 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2130 01:25:39,479 --> 01:25:41,170 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2131 01:25:41,205 --> 01:25:43,034 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2132 01:25:43,068 --> 01:25:45,174 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2133 01:25:45,209 --> 01:25:47,659 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2134 01:25:47,694 --> 01:25:50,214 - [DC the Brain Supreme] Yeah, Tag Team music 2135 01:25:50,248 --> 01:25:52,733 comin' straight at 'cha! 2136 01:25:52,768 --> 01:25:57,773 That's me, DC the Brain Supreme, and my man Steve Roll'n! 2137 01:25:58,912 --> 01:26:00,085 - [Steve Roll'n] Bring it back y'all, 2138 01:26:00,120 --> 01:26:01,708 bring it back y'all and here we go! 2139 01:26:01,742 --> 01:26:03,365 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2140 01:26:03,399 --> 01:26:05,160 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2141 01:26:05,194 --> 01:26:06,920 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2142 01:26:06,954 --> 01:26:08,922 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2143 01:26:08,956 --> 01:26:10,682 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2144 01:26:10,717 --> 01:26:12,546 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2145 01:26:12,581 --> 01:26:14,410 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2146 01:26:14,445 --> 01:26:16,205 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2147 01:26:16,240 --> 01:26:18,103 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2148 01:26:18,138 --> 01:26:20,313 ♪ Whoomp, there it is 2149 01:26:20,347 --> 01:26:21,210 [people talking over each other] 2150 01:26:21,245 --> 01:26:22,073 - [Man] Whoomp, there it is 2151 01:26:22,107 --> 01:26:25,110 ♪ They say you know 2152 01:26:25,145 --> 01:26:27,837 ♪ So long 2153 01:26:27,872 --> 01:26:31,220 ♪ So long 2154 01:26:31,255 --> 01:26:34,154 ♪ We're missing messed up chances ♪ 2155 01:26:34,189 --> 01:26:36,329 ♪ And ride into ourselves 2156 01:26:36,363 --> 01:26:38,952 ♪ Enough 2157 01:26:38,986 --> 01:26:42,438 ♪ Enough 2158 01:26:42,473 --> 01:26:44,268 ♪ With how it was back then 2159 01:26:44,302 --> 01:26:48,133 ♪ I think we were 2160 01:26:48,168 --> 01:26:53,173 ♪ But if you want it all 2161 01:26:53,932 --> 01:26:58,454 ♪ I'll send you far 2162 01:26:59,352 --> 01:27:03,597 ♪ And when you walk away 2163 01:27:03,632 --> 01:27:06,462 ♪ Don't look down 2164 01:27:16,679 --> 01:27:19,026 ♪ We got scared and we got old 2165 01:27:19,061 --> 01:27:21,788 ♪ 85 miles an hour ago 2166 01:27:21,822 --> 01:27:26,827 ♪ Forever is a old country road ♪ 2167 01:27:28,035 --> 01:27:30,279 ♪ I think about the way you said ♪ 2168 01:27:30,314 --> 01:27:33,109 ♪ It feels like I could choke to death ♪ 2169 01:27:33,144 --> 01:27:38,149 ♪ And smile in your own pretty way ♪ 2170 01:27:38,770 --> 01:27:40,979 ♪ So long 2171 01:27:41,014 --> 01:27:44,259 ♪ So long 2172 01:27:44,293 --> 01:27:47,158 ♪ We're missing mystic smiles 2173 01:27:47,192 --> 01:27:49,471 ♪ We sink into ourselves 2174 01:27:49,505 --> 01:27:52,301 ♪ Enough 2175 01:27:52,336 --> 01:27:55,580 ♪ Enough 2176 01:27:55,615 --> 01:27:57,927 ♪ With how it was back then 2177 01:27:57,962 --> 01:28:01,483 ♪ I think we were 2178 01:28:01,517 --> 01:28:06,522 ♪ If you want it all 2179 01:28:07,316 --> 01:28:11,700 ♪ I'll send you far 2180 01:28:12,597 --> 01:28:16,877 ♪ And when you walk away 2181 01:28:16,912 --> 01:28:19,742 ♪ Don't look down 2182 01:28:40,211 --> 01:28:43,490 ♪ So long 2183 01:28:43,525 --> 01:28:46,907 ♪ So long 2184 01:28:46,942 --> 01:28:49,703 ♪ We're missing messed up chances ♪ 2185 01:28:49,738 --> 01:28:52,292 ♪ We'll ride into ourselves 2186 01:28:52,327 --> 01:28:54,846 ♪ Enough 2187 01:28:54,881 --> 01:28:58,333 ♪ Enough 2188 01:28:58,367 --> 01:29:00,887 ♪ How it was back then 2189 01:29:00,921 --> 01:29:02,992 ♪ The things we were 2190 01:29:03,027 --> 01:29:06,099 ♪ The things we were 142885