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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:09,714 --> 00:01:11,214 Where is my bride? 2 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:30,400 My wedding dress. Quickly, put it on. 3 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:38,280 Soon you'll live your life in jewels and not chains. 4 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:56,280 Come, child. 5 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:58,400 Your groom awaits you. 6 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,200 Honeybees, all right, all right! 7 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:17,920 Honeybees, all right! 8 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,960 Whoo! Honeybees, all right, all right! 9 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,360 Honeybees, all right! Whoo! 10 00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:24,006 Go... 11 00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:27,140 Honeybees! 12 00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:30,500 You ready, Hildenburg? 13 00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:31,853 - Yes. - Great. 14 00:02:32,140 --> 00:02:33,339 I have one question. 15 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:36,840 Why am I dressed like one of the Fenmore Foxes? 16 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,840 Aren't they our hated crosstown rivals? 17 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:40,480 Yes... but... 18 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,080 this year's theme is unity... for "all" cheerleaders. 19 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:44,800 Oh. 20 00:02:44,855 --> 00:02:46,242 Have fun. 21 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:56,000 Wipe out the Foxes! 22 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:02,760 Ugh! 23 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,280 Boys are cheats and liars. 24 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,440 They're such a big disgrace. 25 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:13,800 They will tell you anything to get to second... 26 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:16,960 Baseball, baseball, he thinks he's gonna score. 27 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:19,720 If you let him go all the way, then you are a... 28 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,480 Hor... ticulture studies flowers... 29 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:27,360 Oh, no, she didn't. 30 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,000 Oh, yes, she did. 31 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,760 Girlfriend's booty be "all" wrapped up in licious. 32 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:32,960 "All" wrapped up. 33 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:35,760 You're pretty dope and phat yourselves. 34 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:40,000 Ling-Ling! You forgot lunch, baby pie! 35 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:44,440 Chicken with fried vegetable, bulgogi, and Kimchi. 36 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:45,600 Thanks, Mom. 37 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:49,480 Okay. You all learn real good now. 38 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:50,520 - Ling-Ling? - Ling-Ling? 39 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,200 Can somebody answer the phone? 40 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:53,920 Oh, dang, that's messed up. 41 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,520 Out of all the Korean liquor stores, 42 00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,640 why did my dad have to walk into that one? 43 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,840 I'm returning your papers on the Salem Witch Trials. 44 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:07,520 I'm sad to report that Eden, here, got the only "A." 45 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,040 Well, that's not fair. 46 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:12,560 I mean, she was the only one who was actually there. 47 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,440 Vice-Principal Bernard. 48 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:29,280 Oh, Miss Spencer, wonderful job this morning. 49 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:32,000 You certainly know how to whip up a crowd. 50 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:35,000 As pretty as you are, I bet you really whipped them up 51 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:37,600 back when "you" were cheerleading captain, hmm? 52 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:38,800 Me? Oh, no, no, no. 53 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:41,880 I was much more of a band chick, actually... tuba... 54 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,400 lead tuba... honor band. 55 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:47,440 Well, then you wouldn't mind writing us some passes 56 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:49,440 so we could, uh, practice some new moves? 57 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:52,280 Oh, Jessica, I-I-I don't know about that. 58 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,240 You know, that trophy is gonna look "so" good 59 00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:56,360 in your office. 60 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:57,440 Oh... 61 00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:59,160 All right. 62 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:24,600 Whoo! 63 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,480 Ohh! Ugh! Oh! 64 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:40,240 Mmm! That's really good. 65 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:43,200 Um... how much do I owe you? 66 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:47,120 It's okay. It's on the house. 67 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:49,440 Really?! 68 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:51,800 Thanks. 69 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:01,840 Who's gonna pay for that, asshole? 70 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:07,480 You are not gonna make it in this business. 71 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:10,960 You total binger! 72 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:14,480 April, this is gonna go straight to your ass. 73 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,320 "Itchbay" alert. 74 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:20,560 Bianca. 75 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,600 Jessica, you look great! 76 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,320 Are you doing something different 77 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,520 or just hanging out with skankier friends? 78 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:37,480 Wow, Bianca, you look really good, too. 79 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:40,680 Um... are you eating less or just barfing more? 80 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:44,280 Barfing more. 81 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:48,880 Good luck at the cheer competition. 82 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:49,960 Yeah. 83 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:51,960 You too. 84 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,760 Hmm... 85 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:04,240 Bye-bye. 86 00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:06,720 Agh! 87 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:09,360 Oh! 88 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,760 Let's go, Winona. 89 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:23,960 Jess, what are you doing? 90 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,520 Hang on a sec. 91 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,360 Whoa. 92 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,040 This is kind of cool. 93 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,520 Can I help you ladies? 94 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:45,960 Oh, yeah. What is this? 95 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:47,880 Oh, yeah, I like that, too. 96 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:52,440 It's actually a Senegalese lute carved from deerwood, 97 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:55,640 used for fertility rituals and... 98 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:57,400 - Sure. Yeah. - Cool. 99 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:00,640 Oh, and you can put your weed in there. 100 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:03,920 Oh. 101 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,120 Check this out. 102 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,240 Oh, yeah. That's beautiful. 103 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,840 It's actually a model of the prison on Robben Island 104 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,960 where Nelson Mandela was held 27 years. 105 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:15,120 - Oh. - Oh. 106 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,840 And before the collapse of apartheid, of course. 107 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:20,320 Yeah, he came out pretty hate-free, though, 108 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,280 you know, ready to heal... 109 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:25,000 went on to become the president of South Africa 110 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:27,880 after that... after they freed him, of course, sure. 111 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:28,960 - Wow. - Yeah. 112 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,840 A lot of people don't realize this, 113 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:33,760 but you can put your weed in there. 114 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:34,920 - Oh. 115 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,280 This is great. Sure. 116 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,760 Well, if you have any more questions, 117 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,160 I'll be in the back sleeping, so... 118 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:43,480 Great. 119 00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:46,200 Okay. Thanks. 120 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,840 Oh, actually, this is the back. Sorry. 121 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:50,840 - Oh. - Oh. 122 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:54,480 This stuff makes me feel so proud to be African-American. 123 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,200 Ling-Ling! 124 00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:01,760 You walk right by Crazy Nail, no say "hi" me. 125 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,520 Hi, Mom. 126 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,960 Bye, girls! 127 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:09,880 Fake pearls! 128 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:34,760 Stop banging those drums! 129 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,000 I'm sorry. 130 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:39,160 I didn't even know you could hear that. 131 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:44,600 Oh, my God. Look at those earrings. 132 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:47,000 I'd be the envy of every girl at prom. 133 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,000 Not like that was in jeopardy or anything. 134 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:55,240 Um, excuse me. How much are these? 135 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:58,440 Not for sale. That's a genuine artifact. 136 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,360 Oh. 137 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,040 No! 138 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:09,760 No! 139 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:25,560 Okay, I'm all set. 140 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:34,720 Is that all you got... $ 18?! 141 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,280 It's a gas station. 142 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,720 Everybody pays with credit cards nowadays. 143 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,560 Help yourself to some nachos. 144 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,360 Hey, that's for Doug Flutie's kids! 145 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:09,520 - Aah! 146 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:13,520 - Aah! - Aah! 147 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:23,600 - I'm in here! 148 00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:24,600 - Help! 149 00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:25,960 Whoo! 150 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:34,560 Agh! 151 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,040 Agh! 152 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,200 You look really good. 153 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:48,360 Really good. 154 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:52,720 Um, excuse me... 155 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:57,120 The gas cap's on "that" side. 156 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,480 Mm-hmm. Oh, I'm sorry. 157 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,040 Uh, hello... 158 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:13,880 full service. 159 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:16,320 And, um, could you, like, check the oil 160 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,800 and all that other junk under the hood? 161 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:27,640 Like his job is that hard. 162 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:32,720 Minimum wage for a maximum loser. 163 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,520 Oh, good one. 164 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,640 Hey... check this out. 165 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:39,880 Ow! 166 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:46,000 Sorry. Accident. 167 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:48,040 You're so bad! 168 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:49,960 - I'm okay. 169 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:52,400 It's okay. I'm okay. 170 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,960 Hey, how much you bet I can get him again? 171 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:00,760 Oh. Uhh. 172 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,280 - Ow! Oh! 173 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:09,200 Oops. 174 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:14,440 - Whoo! 175 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:54,680 I'm so pretty. 176 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:56,080 Booger. 177 00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:59,720 Booger! 178 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,080 I told you not to go through my stuff. 179 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,000 What are you doing wearing my bra?! 180 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,960 I'm not "wearing" your bra. 181 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,640 I was simply holding it against myself. 182 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,640 Get out of my room, you little turd! 183 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:12,960 Wait a minute. 184 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:14,960 What happened to you? 185 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:16,200 Nothing. 186 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:22,120 Did that Cavanaugh kid do this to you? 187 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:29,080 All right. Come here. 188 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,120 He is such a punk. 189 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:35,040 You know, one of these days, he's gonna get it. 190 00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:36,280 There you go. 191 00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:37,960 Better. 192 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:41,760 Is that my lipstick?! 193 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,480 Ohhhhh! 194 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:29,560 Hey. 195 00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:31,080 Hi. 196 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,560 Oh, Jess, when you do that... 197 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,560 my whole leg tingles and shakes. 198 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:48,920 Really? 199 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,240 Well, what happens if I kiss you... 200 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:53,600 there? 201 00:15:56,880 --> 00:16:00,440 You have to come snowboarding with me this weekend. 202 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:02,720 Oh, silly Billy nilly, 203 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:05,840 I told you I'm not having sex with you. 204 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:07,040 No. 205 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:08,280 We could sip hot chocolate 206 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:10,280 and play Scrabble with my little brother. 207 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:13,520 You call it whatever you want. 208 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:16,080 I'm still not having sex with you. 209 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:18,240 Billy... 210 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:20,680 look... 211 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:23,200 you know how important this is to me. 212 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,640 And when that special moment happens, 213 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:29,480 I just... I want it to be perfect. 214 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:33,400 I would never dream of rushing you. 215 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:37,280 Thank you, Billy. 216 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:39,080 Oh... 217 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:42,520 If you change your mind, we could drive up together. 218 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,480 I'll wait behind for you. 219 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:46,560 Front... behind... 220 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:48,240 I'm still not doing it. 221 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:53,400 Good night, Billy. 222 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,960 Oh, your life is like a fairytale. 223 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,640 You and Billy are, like, totally Disney. 224 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,600 You know, it's scary sometimes. 225 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:27,720 I just... I don't know what I'd do 226 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,960 if things weren't so... perfect. 227 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:35,000 I'm so glad you're my best friend. 228 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,120 I'll see you tomorrow. 229 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,000 Okay. Good night. 230 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:49,680 Bye. 231 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:46,600 Aaaaaaah! 232 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,240 Aaaaaaaah! 233 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,880 Aah! 234 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:07,160 Aah! Aah! 235 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:09,160 - Aah! 236 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,440 Jessica, honey, is everything all right? 237 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,000 Yes, Mother. 238 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:14,960 It's just a spider. 239 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:19,640 A really big, disgusting spider. 240 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,480 Hi. It's April. Leave me a message. 241 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:32,320 This isn't happening. This isn't happening! 242 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,320 Oh, it's sick! 243 00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:39,040 Sick! 244 00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:40,960 Oh! Oh! 245 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:46,480 Oh! 246 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,840 Ow! Oh! 247 00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:58,480 Ow! Ow! Ooh! 248 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:27,480 Hey, Dad! Can I have this cake for breakfast? 249 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:31,040 Uh, yeah. Whatever. Go for it. 250 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:35,960 Booger, what the hell are you doing 251 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:38,600 eating my boss's cake? 252 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,960 I-I thought you just said I could eat it. 253 00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:56,960 Ooh-ah. 254 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:58,600 God... 255 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,240 Where's my...?! 256 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:11,280 Hello? 257 00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:13,440 April, it's me... Jessica. 258 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,960 I need you to meet me right after class out by the track. 259 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,200 Is this really Jessica? 260 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:19,280 Yes! 261 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,560 Oh, my God, are you getting a cold? 262 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:23,840 The competition's only a week away. 263 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,200 We may have bigger problems. 264 00:21:35,367 --> 00:21:37,487 April... 265 00:21:41,047 --> 00:21:43,247 April... 266 00:21:43,287 --> 00:21:45,687 April! 267 00:21:45,727 --> 00:21:47,807 Agh! 268 00:21:47,887 --> 00:21:49,167 Ah! 269 00:21:49,247 --> 00:21:50,767 Whoa! 270 00:21:52,207 --> 00:21:53,287 Ugh! 271 00:21:53,367 --> 00:21:54,847 You stay away from me! 272 00:21:54,927 --> 00:21:57,527 I have pepper spray on my key chain! 273 00:22:00,647 --> 00:22:04,967 April, I need you so bad right now. 274 00:22:05,007 --> 00:22:06,407 You have no idea. 275 00:22:06,487 --> 00:22:08,247 How do you know my name? 276 00:22:10,527 --> 00:22:13,567 It's me... 277 00:22:13,647 --> 00:22:15,607 Jessica! 278 00:22:19,167 --> 00:22:21,607 I'm in here. 279 00:22:24,367 --> 00:22:26,127 What did you do with her? 280 00:22:27,407 --> 00:22:30,087 I don't know what happened. 281 00:22:31,687 --> 00:22:33,287 I woke up this morning... 282 00:22:33,367 --> 00:22:36,087 like this. 283 00:22:36,167 --> 00:22:37,287 Aah! 284 00:22:38,967 --> 00:22:41,727 And what did I tell you about these things?! 285 00:22:41,807 --> 00:22:43,927 They go straight to your ass! 286 00:22:44,007 --> 00:22:45,303 People are gonna be looking for me! 287 00:22:45,327 --> 00:22:47,647 - You gotta believe me! - I'm warning you! 288 00:22:47,727 --> 00:22:49,927 - Please, I'm Jessica! - Aah! 289 00:22:50,007 --> 00:22:52,247 - Aah! Aaah! - Aaaaaaah! 290 00:22:52,287 --> 00:22:54,767 Agh! Agh! Ohh! 291 00:22:54,847 --> 00:22:57,247 Aaah! Oh! Oh! Oh! 292 00:22:57,327 --> 00:22:59,887 Ugh! Ohh! 293 00:23:11,407 --> 00:23:13,207 Aah! Ohh! 294 00:23:13,247 --> 00:23:16,007 Ugh! Oh! Aah! 295 00:23:16,087 --> 00:23:18,367 Aah! Agh! Oh! Ugh! 296 00:23:18,447 --> 00:23:20,007 Agh! Ohh! 297 00:23:29,447 --> 00:23:31,447 Oh, my God! 298 00:23:34,007 --> 00:23:36,327 I think I broke a rib! 299 00:23:36,367 --> 00:23:39,887 My eyes burn! 300 00:23:39,967 --> 00:23:43,687 I can't breathe! 301 00:23:45,087 --> 00:23:49,407 This morning, I woke up a man! 302 00:23:49,447 --> 00:23:54,527 This is by far the worst day of my life! 303 00:23:56,887 --> 00:24:00,447 April! 304 00:24:00,527 --> 00:24:03,887 Do you remember in second grade 305 00:24:03,927 --> 00:24:07,327 when you moved here from Arkansas? 306 00:24:07,407 --> 00:24:11,287 Everybody threw rocks at you... 307 00:24:11,367 --> 00:24:13,527 because you talked funny 308 00:24:13,607 --> 00:24:16,847 and your front two teeth were brown! 309 00:24:23,287 --> 00:24:26,847 I was your only friend. 310 00:24:31,927 --> 00:24:35,567 I gave you that locket around your neck 311 00:24:35,647 --> 00:24:38,687 when your grandmother was sick. 312 00:24:38,767 --> 00:24:41,727 And you said... 313 00:24:41,807 --> 00:24:43,727 you said... 314 00:24:47,247 --> 00:24:50,247 We'd be bestest friends forever. 315 00:25:03,407 --> 00:25:05,727 Boys are cheats and liars. 316 00:25:05,807 --> 00:25:08,567 They're such a big disgrace. 317 00:25:08,647 --> 00:25:12,407 They will tell you anything to get to second... 318 00:25:12,487 --> 00:25:17,367 Baseball, baseball, he thinks he's gonna score. 319 00:25:17,447 --> 00:25:21,607 If you let him go all the way, then you are a... 320 00:25:21,687 --> 00:25:23,807 Hor... ticulture studies flowers. 321 00:25:23,887 --> 00:25:26,047 Geologist studies rocks. 322 00:25:26,127 --> 00:25:28,127 The only thing a guy wants from you 323 00:25:28,207 --> 00:25:29,407 is place to put his... 324 00:25:29,447 --> 00:25:31,047 Cock... roaches, beetles, 325 00:25:31,127 --> 00:25:32,807 butterflies, and bugs. 326 00:25:32,887 --> 00:25:35,447 Nothing makes him happier than a giant pair of... 327 00:25:35,487 --> 00:25:38,647 Jug... glers and acrobats, a dancing bear named Chuck. 328 00:25:38,727 --> 00:25:42,927 All guys really want to do is... forget it, no such luck. 329 00:25:47,407 --> 00:25:49,007 Oh, my God! 330 00:25:49,087 --> 00:25:51,807 Oh, my God! 331 00:25:56,167 --> 00:25:57,847 How did this happen? 332 00:25:59,607 --> 00:26:01,687 I don't know what to do. 333 00:26:01,767 --> 00:26:03,247 Okay, okay. 334 00:26:06,647 --> 00:26:07,847 Here. 335 00:26:07,927 --> 00:26:09,887 Go to my house and wait for me in my room. 336 00:26:09,967 --> 00:26:13,927 Don't worry. We're gonna figure this thing out. 337 00:26:14,007 --> 00:26:15,647 Here. 338 00:26:21,927 --> 00:26:25,727 You are my bestest, bestest friend. 339 00:26:27,367 --> 00:26:28,567 Ow! Ow! 340 00:26:28,607 --> 00:26:29,727 Ow. 341 00:26:29,807 --> 00:26:32,007 Watch the beard. 342 00:26:32,087 --> 00:26:34,007 Sorry. 343 00:26:38,967 --> 00:26:40,527 Oh! 344 00:26:52,847 --> 00:26:54,167 Hi. 345 00:26:55,727 --> 00:26:57,807 Okay, so, listen, she bought it. 346 00:26:57,887 --> 00:27:00,447 I told your mom you're going on that ski trip, 347 00:27:00,527 --> 00:27:02,807 and that'll at least buy us the weekend. 348 00:27:02,887 --> 00:27:05,567 You think I'll be stuck like this all weekend?! 349 00:27:18,287 --> 00:27:19,287 Ow! 350 00:27:19,327 --> 00:27:22,047 Aah! 351 00:27:25,127 --> 00:27:26,127 Oh! 352 00:27:26,167 --> 00:27:27,207 Gross. 353 00:27:28,687 --> 00:27:30,847 Agh! 354 00:27:30,927 --> 00:27:32,927 I've got hair everywhere... 355 00:27:33,007 --> 00:27:36,527 in my nose, in my ears, on my chin. 356 00:27:36,607 --> 00:27:38,527 I'm afraid to look anywhere else. 357 00:27:40,007 --> 00:27:41,767 It's like I'm an ad for hair. 358 00:27:41,847 --> 00:27:45,087 Okay, well, listen, maybe this will help. 359 00:27:45,167 --> 00:27:48,047 Okay. 360 00:27:48,167 --> 00:27:51,247 Ahh... 361 00:27:51,287 --> 00:27:53,167 Yeah. 362 00:27:53,247 --> 00:27:55,527 Okay. Against the grain. 363 00:27:55,607 --> 00:27:56,807 - Okay, ready? - Mm-hmm. 364 00:27:56,887 --> 00:27:58,487 Hold still. 365 00:27:58,527 --> 00:27:59,647 - Aaah! 366 00:27:59,727 --> 00:28:03,167 Grrrah! Agh! 367 00:28:05,327 --> 00:28:06,647 Ow. 368 00:28:06,727 --> 00:28:08,887 Uh... 369 00:28:08,967 --> 00:28:11,047 Ow. 370 00:28:11,127 --> 00:28:12,807 So... 371 00:28:16,407 --> 00:28:19,247 So, uh... 372 00:28:21,487 --> 00:28:22,647 What? 373 00:28:22,727 --> 00:28:25,847 Do you really have a penis? 374 00:28:27,567 --> 00:28:28,927 April! 375 00:28:29,007 --> 00:28:31,087 Can I see it? 376 00:28:31,127 --> 00:28:33,127 What is the matter with you?! 377 00:28:33,167 --> 00:28:36,527 I don't think you get the gravity of the situation here. 378 00:28:36,567 --> 00:28:39,647 You're right. You're right. I'm sorry. 379 00:28:39,727 --> 00:28:41,007 I'm sorry. 380 00:28:42,207 --> 00:28:43,287 Can I see it? 381 00:28:43,367 --> 00:28:45,807 W... what is your problem? 382 00:28:45,887 --> 00:28:47,127 What? 383 00:28:47,207 --> 00:28:49,807 It's not every day that your best friend grows a penis. 384 00:28:50,847 --> 00:28:52,167 Do you want to see it? 385 00:28:53,767 --> 00:28:55,767 Okay, fine... 386 00:28:55,847 --> 00:28:58,447 if it'll shut you up. 387 00:29:10,007 --> 00:29:11,767 Nice. 388 00:29:11,847 --> 00:29:14,527 Nice. 389 00:29:16,007 --> 00:29:18,167 I mean, you know... 390 00:29:18,247 --> 00:29:22,007 I've only seen a couple, but that's definitely top 5. 391 00:29:22,047 --> 00:29:24,167 How many have you seen? 392 00:29:24,247 --> 00:29:25,527 Five. 393 00:29:25,607 --> 00:29:27,527 Not including my little brother's. 394 00:29:28,647 --> 00:29:31,167 You little tramp! 395 00:29:31,247 --> 00:29:32,007 Aah! 396 00:29:32,087 --> 00:29:33,967 Aah! Aah! 397 00:29:34,047 --> 00:29:35,567 Aah! 398 00:29:36,487 --> 00:29:37,487 Aaah! 399 00:29:37,567 --> 00:29:39,047 Aah! Aah! 400 00:29:39,127 --> 00:29:40,327 Oh! Oh! Oh! 401 00:29:40,367 --> 00:29:44,327 Oh, motherfuck! Oh! 402 00:29:46,167 --> 00:29:47,567 Stan... 403 00:29:47,647 --> 00:29:49,847 I am beginning to worry about April. 404 00:29:49,927 --> 00:29:52,087 She has been acting rather strange. 405 00:29:52,167 --> 00:29:54,207 - Is it drugs? - No, no. 406 00:29:54,287 --> 00:29:57,727 I... I think it's her hormonal development. 407 00:29:57,807 --> 00:30:01,047 She just ate six peanut-butter- and-jelly sandwiches 408 00:30:01,127 --> 00:30:03,607 and an entire carton of ice cream. 409 00:30:06,127 --> 00:30:08,287 And what do you make of this, hmm? 410 00:30:08,327 --> 00:30:10,047 It's April's soap. 411 00:30:10,127 --> 00:30:11,767 Well? 412 00:30:11,847 --> 00:30:13,367 What do you think? 413 00:30:13,447 --> 00:30:17,167 I think you need more things to fill out your day. 414 00:30:19,527 --> 00:30:21,167 Okay? 415 00:30:21,207 --> 00:30:22,567 Are we done? 416 00:30:32,287 --> 00:30:33,367 Hello? 417 00:30:35,847 --> 00:30:37,607 All right, who is this? 418 00:30:39,287 --> 00:30:42,807 I should have made love to you when I had the chance. 419 00:30:42,887 --> 00:30:44,367 Ohhh... 420 00:30:46,407 --> 00:30:48,407 Father Mulcahy? 421 00:31:00,247 --> 00:31:02,647 Tell me I'm beautiful. 422 00:31:04,247 --> 00:31:06,807 On the inside. 423 00:31:09,567 --> 00:31:11,247 Look, uh... 424 00:31:11,287 --> 00:31:13,687 Jessica has a problem. 425 00:31:13,727 --> 00:31:16,007 She's only gonna make us wait an hour this time? 426 00:31:16,087 --> 00:31:18,047 What about the class trip to Six Flags? 427 00:31:18,127 --> 00:31:20,927 She took so long in the bathroom, we all missed the bus. 428 00:31:21,007 --> 00:31:23,847 Our parents had to drive three hours to pick us up. 429 00:31:23,927 --> 00:31:27,167 I had my period, okay?! 430 00:31:40,607 --> 00:31:42,487 Okay, now that everybody's up to speed, 431 00:31:42,567 --> 00:31:45,287 can we start thinking about how I can get my life back? 432 00:31:45,367 --> 00:31:48,447 Um, that's definitely gonna cost you a few votes for prom queen. 433 00:31:48,527 --> 00:31:49,527 Yeah. 434 00:31:52,167 --> 00:31:53,447 Okay. 435 00:31:53,527 --> 00:31:55,967 Come on, you guys, let's get serious. Stop dicking around. 436 00:31:57,847 --> 00:32:00,007 Guys! 437 00:32:00,087 --> 00:32:03,327 I've got cheerleading competition, the prom. 438 00:32:03,407 --> 00:32:06,247 None of my clothes fit. I think I'm going bald. 439 00:32:06,327 --> 00:32:08,367 And how am I gonna go to school? 440 00:32:08,447 --> 00:32:10,167 She's right. 441 00:32:10,247 --> 00:32:11,407 Okay... 442 00:32:11,487 --> 00:32:13,167 let's think. 443 00:32:13,247 --> 00:32:15,887 What could have caused this? 444 00:32:21,527 --> 00:32:24,527 Maybe it wasn't an accident. 445 00:32:27,047 --> 00:32:29,423 It's gotta be one of the people who hates Jessica that did this. 446 00:32:29,447 --> 00:32:30,367 Yeah. 447 00:32:30,447 --> 00:32:31,647 What are you talking about? 448 00:32:32,607 --> 00:32:34,207 People don't hate me. 449 00:32:39,847 --> 00:32:41,767 You see, Jess... 450 00:32:41,847 --> 00:32:45,167 because you are so beautiful and perfect... 451 00:32:45,247 --> 00:32:46,647 Uh-huh? 452 00:32:46,727 --> 00:32:48,687 Certain people might misconstrue 453 00:32:48,727 --> 00:32:52,087 some of the mean and hurtful things you say and do to them. 454 00:32:52,167 --> 00:32:55,087 Although the things you say are funny... 455 00:32:56,327 --> 00:32:58,407 people tend to focus more 456 00:32:58,487 --> 00:33:01,407 on their own public humiliation and shame. 457 00:33:01,487 --> 00:33:03,727 So you're saying... 458 00:33:03,807 --> 00:33:05,687 people think... 459 00:33:05,767 --> 00:33:06,927 I'm perfect? 460 00:33:08,647 --> 00:33:11,367 Let's make a list of all the people who hate Jessica. 461 00:33:11,407 --> 00:33:13,687 You know what would be a shorter list? 462 00:33:13,767 --> 00:33:16,407 All the people who "don't" hate Jessica. 463 00:33:17,367 --> 00:33:18,527 You bitch! 464 00:33:31,247 --> 00:33:34,207 Easy on the coffee. 465 00:33:37,807 --> 00:33:39,207 Ha ha ha ha! 466 00:33:39,287 --> 00:33:40,487 Ho ho ho! 467 00:33:41,287 --> 00:33:43,047 - Ugh! - Ohh! 468 00:33:44,807 --> 00:33:45,807 Ugh! 469 00:33:46,647 --> 00:33:48,087 - Ugh! - Aah! 470 00:33:48,167 --> 00:33:49,247 Ha ha ha! 471 00:33:49,687 --> 00:33:51,127 Aah! 472 00:33:51,207 --> 00:33:52,447 Ha ha ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! 473 00:33:54,687 --> 00:33:57,087 - Ugh! - Agh! 474 00:34:23,047 --> 00:34:24,687 Huh? 475 00:34:24,767 --> 00:34:26,047 Oh, hi. 476 00:34:26,087 --> 00:34:27,527 Good morning. 477 00:34:28,847 --> 00:34:30,687 Did you sleep well? 478 00:34:30,767 --> 00:34:33,847 Mmm. Surprisingly, yes. 479 00:34:35,967 --> 00:34:38,047 You have any... 480 00:34:38,127 --> 00:34:40,167 special dreams? 481 00:34:41,407 --> 00:34:43,167 Not particularly. 482 00:34:43,247 --> 00:34:44,727 Hmm. 483 00:34:44,807 --> 00:34:45,887 You sure? 484 00:34:45,967 --> 00:34:48,567 Why? 485 00:34:53,487 --> 00:34:55,447 Oh, my God, my first boner! 486 00:35:06,327 --> 00:35:07,807 There you are! - Ah! 487 00:35:07,887 --> 00:35:09,607 You're the gardener from the service, right? 488 00:35:11,007 --> 00:35:12,487 "Si." 489 00:35:12,527 --> 00:35:14,487 Damn lawn's a mess. 490 00:35:14,567 --> 00:35:17,007 It's my daughter's responsibility to look after it, 491 00:35:17,087 --> 00:35:18,167 but you know teenage girls. 492 00:35:18,247 --> 00:35:19,607 Si, si. 493 00:35:19,687 --> 00:35:21,567 "Teenageros." 494 00:35:21,607 --> 00:35:24,167 Sorry. Richie Spencer. 495 00:35:24,207 --> 00:35:27,887 Ah, um... 496 00:35:27,967 --> 00:35:29,207 Taquito. 497 00:35:29,287 --> 00:35:31,087 Oh, Taquito. 498 00:35:31,167 --> 00:35:32,807 There's the mower. 499 00:35:32,887 --> 00:35:35,167 There's your bag of fertilizer. 500 00:35:35,247 --> 00:35:37,167 - Oh, ho! - I'll let you get to it. 501 00:35:53,327 --> 00:35:56,967 Damn, I love the smell of fresh-cut grass. 502 00:36:01,767 --> 00:36:05,047 "Gracias," but... I'm not sure I'm old enough, "senior." 503 00:36:05,127 --> 00:36:06,447 Yeah, right. 504 00:36:06,527 --> 00:36:09,447 What is the drinking age in Mexico... 40? 505 00:36:09,487 --> 00:36:12,287 Come on, take a load off. You can finish in a minute. 506 00:36:16,047 --> 00:36:17,847 Hope you don't mind the light beer. 507 00:36:17,927 --> 00:36:19,847 I had to cut back on account of the bloating. 508 00:36:19,927 --> 00:36:21,047 Know what I mean? 509 00:36:21,127 --> 00:36:23,727 I also had to give up the spicy food on account of my asshole. 510 00:36:24,767 --> 00:36:25,967 Ah! 511 00:36:26,047 --> 00:36:28,567 We're amongst men, aren't we? 512 00:36:30,614 --> 00:36:32,734 "Stinko de mayo." 513 00:36:32,774 --> 00:36:33,774 You like that car? 514 00:36:33,814 --> 00:36:35,254 That's my daughter's. 515 00:36:35,334 --> 00:36:36,534 Pretty nice, huh? 516 00:36:36,614 --> 00:36:38,414 It would have looked even better in red. 517 00:36:38,454 --> 00:36:41,134 That's what my daughter said. 518 00:36:42,654 --> 00:36:45,134 We used to go out back on Sundays and toss a few baskets, 519 00:36:45,214 --> 00:36:46,654 shoot the shit. 520 00:36:46,694 --> 00:36:48,694 But she's got her own stuff going on now. 521 00:36:48,734 --> 00:36:51,094 Who could blame her? Whole family's falling apart. 522 00:36:51,134 --> 00:36:53,254 What? 523 00:36:53,334 --> 00:36:55,774 Things with the wife... forget about it. 524 00:36:55,854 --> 00:36:57,934 I mean, we sleep in the same bed. 525 00:36:58,014 --> 00:37:00,254 Might as well be separate countries. 526 00:37:00,334 --> 00:37:03,934 That is, like, so sad. 527 00:37:05,134 --> 00:37:06,934 Ay-yi-yi! 528 00:37:07,014 --> 00:37:09,094 Ay-yi... yi. 529 00:37:09,174 --> 00:37:12,174 I tried everything. Nothing worked. 530 00:37:12,254 --> 00:37:14,734 I even got out the razor and gave myself a porn-star trim. 531 00:37:14,814 --> 00:37:16,894 Wanna see? Check it out. 532 00:37:16,974 --> 00:37:18,294 Aah! 533 00:37:19,574 --> 00:37:21,894 Boy, she used to be wild. 534 00:37:21,974 --> 00:37:23,734 The sex was great. 535 00:37:23,814 --> 00:37:25,854 We'd be going at it, and she could still find a way 536 00:37:25,934 --> 00:37:27,654 to twist around and kiss me on the mouth. 537 00:37:27,734 --> 00:37:30,894 "Senior," information too "mucho." 538 00:37:30,974 --> 00:37:33,654 Emotional "scarro"... disgusting. 539 00:37:33,734 --> 00:37:35,254 It's good talking to you, Taquito. 540 00:37:35,334 --> 00:37:36,974 Oh! 541 00:38:08,214 --> 00:38:10,574 Hey, Jessica! Jessica! 542 00:38:10,614 --> 00:38:11,894 Come here! 543 00:38:13,374 --> 00:38:15,534 We've got a suspect. 544 00:38:15,614 --> 00:38:17,174 Oh, yes! 545 00:38:17,214 --> 00:38:18,894 Come on. 546 00:38:21,374 --> 00:38:23,894 Something smells like dog pooh. 547 00:38:23,974 --> 00:38:26,454 I think I'm sitting next to it. 548 00:38:26,534 --> 00:38:29,334 - Ew! 549 00:38:29,414 --> 00:38:31,894 Come on, Hildenburg, don't play dumb. 550 00:38:31,974 --> 00:38:34,894 You hate Jessica, you're good at this science crap. 551 00:38:34,934 --> 00:38:37,214 Now, just confess and give us the antidote. 552 00:38:37,294 --> 00:38:39,054 April, it's physically impossible 553 00:38:39,134 --> 00:38:41,414 for a woman to transform into a man overnight. 554 00:38:41,494 --> 00:38:44,814 So you're saying that you had nothing to do with this. 555 00:38:44,894 --> 00:38:46,574 Look... 556 00:38:46,654 --> 00:38:49,694 let's just pretend this was an alternate universe 557 00:38:49,774 --> 00:38:52,334 where I actually believed you. 558 00:38:52,414 --> 00:38:55,574 Why would I want to help Jessica out, anyway? 559 00:38:58,654 --> 00:38:59,934 Jessica! 560 00:39:06,294 --> 00:39:07,934 Hildenburg... 561 00:39:09,934 --> 00:39:12,454 I'm sorry that I humiliated you 562 00:39:12,534 --> 00:39:15,054 in front of the entire school... 563 00:39:15,134 --> 00:39:17,574 and the visiting 8th-graders. 564 00:39:19,494 --> 00:39:24,694 But you have no idea what it's like 565 00:39:24,774 --> 00:39:29,854 to wake up every morning and have to shave your chin. 566 00:39:37,734 --> 00:39:39,734 Yes, I do. 567 00:39:47,454 --> 00:39:49,614 Who's next on the list? 568 00:39:49,694 --> 00:39:51,254 Whoa. 569 00:39:51,334 --> 00:39:54,454 Well, it "is" cold in here. 570 00:39:56,014 --> 00:39:57,294 So you never put a hex on me? 571 00:39:57,374 --> 00:39:59,454 Oh, I put plenty of hexes on you... 572 00:39:59,534 --> 00:40:02,574 to give you dandruff, make your hair fall out, 573 00:40:02,654 --> 00:40:05,214 make one of your boobs bigger than the other. 574 00:40:05,294 --> 00:40:07,614 Oh, I think you got "me" with that one. 575 00:40:07,694 --> 00:40:10,054 Heh hee hee! Ah hee hee! 576 00:40:13,894 --> 00:40:18,094 There's some powerful cult magic at work here... 577 00:40:18,134 --> 00:40:19,974 like an ancient spell... 578 00:40:20,054 --> 00:40:21,574 or voodoo... 579 00:40:21,654 --> 00:40:24,014 or Santeria. 580 00:40:24,094 --> 00:40:26,014 What's Santeria? 581 00:40:26,094 --> 00:40:28,614 It's a Latin-based form of witchcraft. 582 00:40:28,694 --> 00:40:30,174 It originated in Africa 583 00:40:30,254 --> 00:40:33,614 and then eventually made its way to Cuba and Brazil. 584 00:40:33,654 --> 00:40:35,174 Bianca! 585 00:40:35,254 --> 00:40:36,534 I knew it. 586 00:40:36,614 --> 00:40:37,910 Most of its rituals involve a chicken. 587 00:40:37,934 --> 00:40:40,374 That sounds delicious. 588 00:40:41,694 --> 00:40:43,654 I mean, interesting. 589 00:40:43,734 --> 00:40:45,174 There's a way to tell. 590 00:40:45,254 --> 00:40:47,494 A true practitioner of Santeria 591 00:40:47,574 --> 00:40:51,214 bears the mark of the scorpion tattooed on their back. 592 00:40:51,294 --> 00:40:52,894 Bianca's always hanging out 593 00:40:52,974 --> 00:40:55,134 at that dance club... Instant Tang. 594 00:40:55,214 --> 00:40:57,894 Yeah, tonight's ladies' night, and we all get in for free! 595 00:41:03,814 --> 00:41:06,334 Well, most of us. 596 00:41:06,414 --> 00:41:06,454 Trust me... 597 00:41:06,455 --> 00:41:08,174 Trust me... 598 00:41:08,254 --> 00:41:11,054 you'll never get Bianca to dance with you looking like this. 599 00:41:33,414 --> 00:41:35,814 Ugh! What is that? 600 00:41:38,454 --> 00:41:40,374 No... 601 00:42:01,934 --> 00:42:03,214 What? 602 00:42:03,294 --> 00:42:06,014 Nothing. 603 00:42:06,094 --> 00:42:07,774 You just look good. 604 00:42:09,294 --> 00:42:10,294 Really? 605 00:42:10,334 --> 00:42:11,894 Yeah. 606 00:42:13,534 --> 00:42:15,534 Okay. Thanks. 607 00:42:17,494 --> 00:42:18,614 No, she's not gonna... 608 00:42:18,654 --> 00:42:20,414 No, he... she's not gonna do it. 609 00:42:22,894 --> 00:42:24,054 Yes, she is. 610 00:42:24,134 --> 00:42:25,894 Mmm... 611 00:42:25,934 --> 00:42:27,694 Mmm, mmm... 612 00:42:29,014 --> 00:42:30,214 Mmm... 613 00:42:32,174 --> 00:42:33,454 Wow! 614 00:42:33,534 --> 00:42:35,654 That is so good. 615 00:42:36,654 --> 00:42:38,334 T-That's $8.95. 616 00:42:41,014 --> 00:42:42,014 What? 617 00:42:43,454 --> 00:42:45,774 Aren't you just gonna take it out of your tip jar? 618 00:42:45,854 --> 00:42:47,094 Aah! 619 00:42:47,174 --> 00:42:49,334 - $8.95? - Yeah. 620 00:42:49,414 --> 00:42:50,854 I got that. 621 00:43:28,454 --> 00:43:30,894 I'll take two banana daiquiris, 622 00:43:30,934 --> 00:43:34,694 one mango, a sloe-gin fizz, one slippery nipple, 623 00:43:34,774 --> 00:43:36,254 and for me, 624 00:43:36,334 --> 00:43:39,294 a screaming orgasm on the beach with extra sugar on the rim. 625 00:43:39,374 --> 00:43:41,134 Yum! 626 00:43:49,614 --> 00:43:52,894 Uh... better make that last one a brewski. 627 00:43:56,254 --> 00:43:57,654 Double brewski. 628 00:44:05,294 --> 00:44:07,414 They didn't even card me. 629 00:44:07,494 --> 00:44:09,294 It's just like Cabo. 630 00:44:16,654 --> 00:44:19,494 How does a butt plug like that get all those hot chicks? 631 00:44:19,574 --> 00:44:21,134 I got dibs on the dots. 632 00:44:22,654 --> 00:44:24,894 God damn! 633 00:44:24,974 --> 00:44:27,054 Ooh, he's cute. 634 00:44:27,134 --> 00:44:29,894 Check out the sweet buns on that guy. 635 00:44:29,974 --> 00:44:32,894 I'd like to get my hands on those and... 636 00:44:32,974 --> 00:44:35,654 wish they were women's breasts 637 00:44:35,694 --> 00:44:38,694 and... squeeze the hell out of 'em. 638 00:44:38,734 --> 00:44:41,454 Maybe put a steak on 'em... 639 00:44:41,534 --> 00:44:43,854 'cause I'm a guy. 640 00:44:43,934 --> 00:44:46,534 That's what guys like me like to do. 641 00:44:46,614 --> 00:44:49,734 But I don't need to tell "you" that. 642 00:44:55,494 --> 00:44:57,414 Bianca. 643 00:45:00,534 --> 00:45:01,854 I'll show her. 644 00:45:01,934 --> 00:45:03,414 This is "my" song. 645 00:45:05,134 --> 00:45:08,614 Remember, the scorpion on her back. 646 00:45:08,694 --> 00:45:10,094 I'll find it. 647 00:45:27,654 --> 00:45:29,134 Ah! 648 00:45:32,014 --> 00:45:33,654 Ew! 649 00:45:37,574 --> 00:45:39,214 The tattoo! 650 00:45:39,294 --> 00:45:40,654 I don't see it! 651 00:45:48,334 --> 00:45:49,654 Right hand, red. 652 00:45:49,734 --> 00:45:51,294 Ooh... left hand, blue. 653 00:45:54,934 --> 00:45:55,934 Ooh! 654 00:45:58,494 --> 00:45:59,694 Huh! Ha! 655 00:46:01,414 --> 00:46:02,414 Aaaaaah! 656 00:46:38,581 --> 00:46:40,021 It's definitely not her. 657 00:46:40,101 --> 00:46:42,341 Don't worry. We'll figure this out. 658 00:46:42,421 --> 00:46:43,901 You're a great dancer. 659 00:46:43,981 --> 00:46:45,981 You're just noticing that now? 660 00:46:47,541 --> 00:46:49,701 I gotta hit the little girls' room 661 00:46:49,781 --> 00:46:51,261 before I soak my panties. 662 00:46:54,261 --> 00:46:56,861 Um... 663 00:46:56,901 --> 00:46:58,621 By that, I mean... 664 00:46:58,701 --> 00:47:01,661 my girlfriend's panties... 665 00:47:01,741 --> 00:47:03,541 which I carry with me... 666 00:47:03,621 --> 00:47:05,221 to pee in... 667 00:47:05,301 --> 00:47:06,981 if I don't make it in time... 668 00:47:07,061 --> 00:47:08,981 to the bathroom. 669 00:47:09,061 --> 00:47:10,461 What? 670 00:47:10,541 --> 00:47:12,861 You don't pee in your girlfriend's panties? 671 00:47:12,941 --> 00:47:15,141 What kind of gay club is this? 672 00:47:15,221 --> 00:47:19,221 Hey, everybody, check out this guy... 673 00:47:19,301 --> 00:47:23,221 not peeing in his chick's panties. 674 00:47:35,341 --> 00:47:37,181 Excuse me... 675 00:47:37,261 --> 00:47:39,741 do you have to be in here for this? 676 00:47:39,821 --> 00:47:41,861 Well, it's part of my job description, 677 00:47:41,941 --> 00:47:44,181 but if you're one of those shy guys, 678 00:47:44,261 --> 00:47:46,061 you try that stall there. 679 00:47:49,141 --> 00:47:52,101 Uh... there's someone in there. 680 00:47:52,181 --> 00:47:54,421 And they're gonna be in there for a long time, too. 681 00:47:54,501 --> 00:47:56,541 I told him to stay away from the calamari. 682 00:47:59,421 --> 00:48:02,781 Some folks think they can eat anything that crawls. 683 00:48:12,501 --> 00:48:13,941 Would you mind? 684 00:48:31,661 --> 00:48:32,781 Ooh! Ah! 685 00:48:32,861 --> 00:48:34,101 Ooh, hoo! 686 00:48:38,301 --> 00:48:41,381 Excuse me? 687 00:48:41,461 --> 00:48:43,341 Why is there ice in there? 688 00:48:43,381 --> 00:48:45,741 Ooh! I wouldn't have done that. 689 00:48:50,181 --> 00:48:51,421 Oh! 690 00:48:59,541 --> 00:49:01,901 You're good at that. 691 00:49:01,981 --> 00:49:04,861 You make it look so easy. 692 00:49:14,541 --> 00:49:15,981 Why don't you just take a picture? 693 00:49:20,981 --> 00:49:23,261 All right. 694 00:49:23,341 --> 00:49:24,661 Here goes. 695 00:49:24,741 --> 00:49:29,421 Disgusting! Wrinkly! Gross! 696 00:49:29,501 --> 00:49:30,741 Ew! 697 00:49:30,821 --> 00:49:32,381 - Oh! 698 00:49:32,461 --> 00:49:35,701 Oh! I've never done this before. 699 00:49:35,781 --> 00:49:37,021 It's going all over. 700 00:49:37,061 --> 00:49:39,421 It's always good to aim at something, 701 00:49:39,501 --> 00:49:42,221 like that cigarette there... or the big mint. 702 00:49:42,301 --> 00:49:43,821 It's going everywhere! 703 00:49:43,901 --> 00:49:45,941 You got to hold on to it. 704 00:49:46,021 --> 00:49:49,501 Not too tight, but enough to let it know you're the boss. 705 00:49:52,101 --> 00:49:53,021 Oh! 706 00:49:53,101 --> 00:49:54,821 See that fly? 707 00:49:54,901 --> 00:49:56,541 Aim for it. 708 00:49:56,621 --> 00:49:58,741 That's... that's helping. 709 00:49:58,781 --> 00:50:00,141 That's it. 710 00:50:01,781 --> 00:50:04,221 Remember, if you shake it more than twice, 711 00:50:04,261 --> 00:50:05,581 you're playing with it. 712 00:50:18,501 --> 00:50:20,981 I don't know how I could ever thank you. 713 00:50:31,581 --> 00:50:31,621 Hi! 714 00:50:31,622 --> 00:50:32,981 Hi! 715 00:50:33,021 --> 00:50:34,501 "That" was an experience. 716 00:50:34,581 --> 00:50:35,581 Here's your drink. 717 00:50:35,621 --> 00:50:37,141 Is there any ice in here? 718 00:50:37,221 --> 00:50:38,141 No. 719 00:50:38,221 --> 00:50:39,421 Thank God! 720 00:50:39,501 --> 00:50:41,581 Hey... aren't you that chick 721 00:50:41,661 --> 00:50:44,421 who's having sex with that college guy? 722 00:50:44,461 --> 00:50:45,541 No! 723 00:50:45,621 --> 00:50:46,621 Wanna be? 724 00:50:53,021 --> 00:50:55,581 She's not interested, okay? 725 00:50:55,661 --> 00:50:57,901 So why don't you just back off? 726 00:50:58,981 --> 00:51:00,181 Okay, Grandpa. 727 00:51:00,261 --> 00:51:03,581 What are you, their pimp, and these are your skank hoes? 728 00:51:11,501 --> 00:51:15,021 You and me, right now... let's go. 729 00:51:16,501 --> 00:51:17,741 Where we going? 730 00:51:18,821 --> 00:51:20,301 - Aah! - No! 731 00:51:28,341 --> 00:51:30,101 Jess! 732 00:51:32,181 --> 00:51:34,421 - Come on, Jess. Come on! - You can do it. 733 00:51:34,501 --> 00:51:36,221 What do you got, geezer? Come on! 734 00:51:38,701 --> 00:51:39,781 You can do it! Come on! 735 00:51:39,861 --> 00:51:41,181 Show me what you got! 736 00:51:41,221 --> 00:51:42,901 Come on! 737 00:51:46,821 --> 00:51:48,261 What the... 738 00:51:48,341 --> 00:51:49,381 What's he doing? 739 00:51:49,461 --> 00:51:51,021 Some kind of Tae-Queer-Do. 740 00:51:52,301 --> 00:51:52,981 That's it! 741 00:51:53,061 --> 00:51:54,141 Oh! 742 00:51:54,221 --> 00:51:56,261 No! Aaah! 743 00:51:56,341 --> 00:51:58,261 Ohh! 744 00:51:58,301 --> 00:51:59,461 Ohh! 745 00:51:59,501 --> 00:52:00,581 Ohh! 746 00:52:00,661 --> 00:52:02,301 Ohh! 747 00:52:04,701 --> 00:52:06,341 Aah! 748 00:52:07,421 --> 00:52:08,981 Ohh! 749 00:52:09,061 --> 00:52:10,341 Ha ha! 750 00:52:10,381 --> 00:52:11,621 Yeah! 751 00:52:13,381 --> 00:52:14,781 Yeah! 752 00:52:14,861 --> 00:52:16,221 Jess! 753 00:52:16,261 --> 00:52:17,301 Oh! 754 00:52:17,381 --> 00:52:18,821 - Ooh, yeah! - Yeah! 755 00:52:21,021 --> 00:52:24,421 That really "does" hurt. 756 00:52:24,461 --> 00:52:27,421 Thanks for sticking up for me. 757 00:52:27,501 --> 00:52:29,941 Now go kick some ass. 758 00:52:35,221 --> 00:52:36,901 Aah! Oh! 759 00:52:39,141 --> 00:52:40,461 Ohhh! 760 00:52:40,541 --> 00:52:41,901 Ohhh! 761 00:52:42,981 --> 00:52:44,141 Aah! 762 00:52:46,141 --> 00:52:47,901 Oh! 763 00:52:47,981 --> 00:52:51,141 You think you're so cool 'cause you can pee with your penis. 764 00:52:51,221 --> 00:52:52,701 Get a new conditioner. 765 00:52:52,781 --> 00:52:54,701 Your ends are totally split. 766 00:53:01,341 --> 00:53:02,981 You rock! 767 00:53:05,501 --> 00:53:06,741 April, I don't know. 768 00:53:06,821 --> 00:53:09,741 Oh, come on. This is the only way you can be in school. 769 00:53:09,781 --> 00:53:12,621 Here comes Jake. 770 00:53:12,701 --> 00:53:14,101 - Hi! - Hey, baby. 771 00:53:15,261 --> 00:53:16,581 So, skiing sucked. 772 00:53:16,661 --> 00:53:19,341 I mean, you didn't miss a thing. It was all mushed out. 773 00:53:19,421 --> 00:53:20,421 Oh... 774 00:53:21,461 --> 00:53:23,181 What's with the scarf? 775 00:53:23,261 --> 00:53:24,821 It's kinda chilly in here. 776 00:53:33,781 --> 00:53:35,901 Ski rash. 777 00:53:37,781 --> 00:53:39,461 So, I'm gonna... 778 00:53:39,501 --> 00:53:42,581 I better... I'm gonna go to class, so... all right. 779 00:53:46,021 --> 00:53:48,101 April, I am so sorry. 780 00:53:48,181 --> 00:53:50,901 He didn't even ask me to the prom. 781 00:53:52,781 --> 00:53:54,741 Jake and I are "so" over. 782 00:53:56,301 --> 00:53:58,381 Okay... 783 00:53:58,421 --> 00:54:00,861 Now, you get in there. 784 00:54:02,101 --> 00:54:04,421 And remember... your name is Spence. 785 00:54:04,461 --> 00:54:08,021 I must tell you... Spence, uh, there "are" applicants 786 00:54:08,101 --> 00:54:11,261 who actually have prior janitorial experience. 787 00:54:11,301 --> 00:54:12,461 Your hair... 788 00:54:12,541 --> 00:54:14,941 it has such bounce. 789 00:54:14,981 --> 00:54:16,941 Oh, it's this new cream ri... 790 00:54:17,021 --> 00:54:18,781 Um, anyway, a-as I was saying, 791 00:54:18,861 --> 00:54:20,981 you haven't really provided me with... 792 00:54:21,061 --> 00:54:25,501 Look, uh... 793 00:54:25,581 --> 00:54:27,941 Uh, I'll be honest with you. 794 00:54:28,021 --> 00:54:29,781 I'm a struggling musician. 795 00:54:29,821 --> 00:54:32,061 Ever since my days playing the tuba 796 00:54:32,141 --> 00:54:33,781 in the high-school marching band... 797 00:54:33,861 --> 00:54:36,781 Y-You... you... you play the tuba? 798 00:54:36,861 --> 00:54:38,141 Yes... 799 00:54:38,221 --> 00:54:39,981 in the honor band. 800 00:54:40,061 --> 00:54:41,501 Oh! 801 00:54:44,221 --> 00:54:47,661 Well, Spence, I'd be going out on a limb here, but... 802 00:54:47,741 --> 00:54:49,261 You won't regret it, I promise. 803 00:54:49,341 --> 00:54:51,021 Thank you, Miss Bernard. Thank you. 804 00:54:51,101 --> 00:54:53,421 Please, call me Marjorie. 805 00:54:53,501 --> 00:54:54,741 Marjorie. 806 00:54:54,821 --> 00:54:58,181 Now, if you'll just fill out the security portion here 807 00:54:58,221 --> 00:54:59,501 of the form... 808 00:54:59,581 --> 00:55:00,701 All right. 809 00:55:09,981 --> 00:55:10,981 Billy... 810 00:55:11,061 --> 00:55:12,461 Aah! 811 00:55:12,501 --> 00:55:14,021 We need to talk. 812 00:55:14,101 --> 00:55:15,501 About what?! 813 00:55:18,941 --> 00:55:20,501 I called you on your ski trip to... 814 00:55:20,581 --> 00:55:21,901 That was you?! 815 00:55:21,941 --> 00:55:23,461 Yeah. 816 00:55:23,541 --> 00:55:24,781 Oh, God! 817 00:55:25,861 --> 00:55:27,861 I can explain. 818 00:55:27,941 --> 00:55:30,021 - Billy, wait! 819 00:55:39,661 --> 00:55:41,741 I gotta do what? 820 00:55:48,501 --> 00:55:50,661 Hi, there. I miss you. 821 00:55:50,701 --> 00:55:51,821 Hi, Sam. 822 00:55:54,981 --> 00:55:56,941 Hey, Taquito, think fast. 823 00:55:56,981 --> 00:55:57,981 Oh! 824 00:55:59,981 --> 00:56:01,541 You got me, "senior." 825 00:56:01,621 --> 00:56:02,941 Taquito, pick up that ball. 826 00:56:02,981 --> 00:56:04,461 You and me are gonna shoot some hoops. 827 00:56:07,661 --> 00:56:09,061 Gotcha! 828 00:56:09,141 --> 00:56:10,741 Back to Tijuana! 829 00:56:21,181 --> 00:56:22,101 Oh! 830 00:56:22,181 --> 00:56:23,781 Oh! 831 00:56:27,021 --> 00:56:29,701 Let me make you feel a little bit more at home. 832 00:56:30,941 --> 00:56:36,861 Go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-al! 833 00:56:39,301 --> 00:56:41,381 How are things with the missus, "senior?" 834 00:56:41,461 --> 00:56:43,301 Eh, still not getting any. 835 00:56:46,621 --> 00:56:48,861 When was the last time you kissed her? 836 00:56:48,941 --> 00:56:51,701 You mean, kiss her, or "kiss her" kiss her? 837 00:56:54,341 --> 00:56:55,941 Eugggh! 838 00:56:56,021 --> 00:56:59,141 "Senior," sometimes when a woman is ignoring you, 839 00:56:59,221 --> 00:57:01,141 that's when she wants you the most. 840 00:57:01,221 --> 00:57:04,141 She's only waiting for you to open up her passion, 841 00:57:04,221 --> 00:57:09,781 which is like a waterfall waiting to explode. 842 00:57:11,501 --> 00:57:14,381 You must get a lot of enchilada, Taquito. 843 00:57:14,421 --> 00:57:15,821 Come on, bring it! 844 00:57:21,461 --> 00:57:22,901 "Tres" points, "senior." 845 00:57:22,981 --> 00:57:24,301 Lucky shot. 846 00:57:26,141 --> 00:57:27,141 Ah! 847 00:57:29,901 --> 00:57:31,181 My outs again, "senior." 848 00:57:40,181 --> 00:57:41,341 Oh! 849 00:57:43,021 --> 00:57:44,741 Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. 850 00:57:44,781 --> 00:57:48,501 How did you know I don't move so well to my right? 851 00:57:55,061 --> 00:57:56,221 Booger? 852 00:57:57,461 --> 00:57:58,821 Oh, have you seen your sister? 853 00:57:58,861 --> 00:58:00,821 I feel like I haven't talked to her in days. 854 00:58:03,301 --> 00:58:05,341 She was here a minute ago. You just missed her. 855 00:58:05,421 --> 00:58:06,661 Oh. 856 00:58:11,068 --> 00:58:12,588 Good game. 857 00:58:19,388 --> 00:58:20,628 "Senior" Richie? 858 00:58:21,948 --> 00:58:24,548 I need to tell you something... 859 00:58:24,628 --> 00:58:26,548 but I can't. 860 00:58:26,588 --> 00:58:28,388 What do you got going on, Taquito? 861 00:58:32,068 --> 00:58:34,828 I'm not really a gardener. 862 00:58:36,228 --> 00:58:39,308 I agree with that. The roses look like shit. 863 00:58:41,148 --> 00:58:42,868 I'm sorry. 864 00:58:42,908 --> 00:58:44,868 Come on, now, easy there, big fella. 865 00:58:44,908 --> 00:58:47,188 They're just roses. 866 00:58:47,268 --> 00:58:50,268 I want to tell you... 867 00:58:50,348 --> 00:58:55,228 I think you're the greatest dad in the world. 868 00:58:55,308 --> 00:58:59,228 Any kid would be lucky to have you as their father. 869 00:59:02,148 --> 00:59:03,548 Thanks, Taquito. 870 00:59:05,268 --> 00:59:07,388 I'd hate to see you after you "lose" a game. 871 00:59:19,148 --> 00:59:21,388 Okay, did you eat any wolfsbane? 872 00:59:21,468 --> 00:59:24,228 Uh, no. 873 00:59:24,308 --> 00:59:26,868 Any sex with a leprechaun? 874 00:59:26,948 --> 00:59:28,388 Not recently. 875 00:59:33,988 --> 00:59:35,428 Oh, my God. 876 00:59:38,628 --> 00:59:40,948 You know, they should come with a warning... 877 00:59:41,028 --> 00:59:42,908 "earrings may come with penis." 878 00:59:44,868 --> 00:59:47,268 This be some serious shit. 879 00:59:47,348 --> 00:59:50,708 Those belonged to Princess Nawa. 880 00:59:50,748 --> 00:59:52,268 There's a myth 881 00:59:52,348 --> 00:59:56,588 of her using the earrings to escape a bad marriage. 882 00:59:58,668 --> 01:00:00,308 But she didn't know 883 01:00:00,388 --> 01:00:03,588 that she had to bring the earrings back together, 884 01:00:03,668 --> 01:00:08,108 and she lived out her life as a slave girl. 885 01:00:08,188 --> 01:00:11,228 Now, it appears that this myth is anything but. 886 01:00:13,828 --> 01:00:15,628 Would you stop with the damn drumming? 887 01:00:18,708 --> 01:00:20,068 Oh, I'm sorry. 888 01:00:20,148 --> 01:00:23,908 I... just was really getting into your story. 889 01:00:26,348 --> 01:00:29,508 You've got to find that other earring 890 01:00:29,588 --> 01:00:33,068 and unite them before the full moon end. 891 01:00:48,468 --> 01:00:50,628 I got you, babe. Don't worry about it. 892 01:00:54,308 --> 01:00:55,948 - Hey, Ling-Ling! 893 01:00:56,028 --> 01:00:57,828 Ling-Ling! 894 01:00:57,908 --> 01:01:00,148 Ling-Ling, look! 895 01:01:00,228 --> 01:01:03,028 Look, I help! I help you! 896 01:01:18,068 --> 01:01:19,188 Hey, Billy. 897 01:01:21,348 --> 01:01:22,348 Oh! 898 01:01:22,388 --> 01:01:23,228 Yeah! 899 01:01:23,268 --> 01:01:24,988 Is he okay? 900 01:01:25,068 --> 01:01:26,708 Whoo! 901 01:01:31,348 --> 01:01:33,308 What's the matter, man? 902 01:01:33,348 --> 01:01:35,268 You afraid the janitor's gonna see your dingdong? 903 01:01:40,788 --> 01:01:42,788 So, what's up with you and the prom queen? 904 01:01:42,868 --> 01:01:45,428 I don't know. 905 01:01:45,508 --> 01:01:48,548 I thought everything was fine, but I guess I was wrong. 906 01:01:48,628 --> 01:01:50,988 See, that's why you gotta have a spare, man. 907 01:01:51,028 --> 01:01:53,068 That's what April is. She's my spare. 908 01:01:53,148 --> 01:01:54,068 Spare? 909 01:01:54,148 --> 01:01:55,508 Yeah, she's my backup. 910 01:01:55,588 --> 01:01:57,748 I mean, she was a fun ride... no doubt about this... 911 01:01:57,828 --> 01:01:59,468 but she is a previously owned vehicle. 912 01:01:59,548 --> 01:02:01,348 I'm into that new-car smell. 913 01:02:01,428 --> 01:02:03,188 You asshole! 914 01:02:05,708 --> 01:02:08,148 W-Whoever left these towels over here... 915 01:02:08,228 --> 01:02:09,908 is an asshole. 916 01:02:14,308 --> 01:02:17,668 Now, this new chick I got... 917 01:02:17,748 --> 01:02:19,828 dude, she is gonna be the hottest chick at the prom. 918 01:02:19,908 --> 01:02:21,428 I bet one of her little hottie friends 919 01:02:21,508 --> 01:02:23,188 would love to go out with the quarterback. 920 01:02:23,228 --> 01:02:25,908 - Oh, I don't know, man. - Come on, man. 921 01:02:25,988 --> 01:02:28,244 Maybe this one will put out, unlike that cold fish, Jessica. 922 01:02:28,268 --> 01:02:30,828 You go to hell! 923 01:02:33,148 --> 01:02:37,348 Whoever left these showers on... 924 01:02:37,428 --> 01:02:39,068 go to... hell. 925 01:02:40,628 --> 01:02:43,028 Hey... 926 01:02:43,108 --> 01:02:46,948 Jessica's anything but a cold fish, all right? 927 01:02:49,028 --> 01:02:52,388 She's the most amazing girl in the whole world. 928 01:02:52,468 --> 01:02:56,708 Dude, you've never even been out of California. 929 01:02:56,788 --> 01:02:58,788 I don't care. 930 01:02:58,828 --> 01:03:00,628 I love her. 931 01:03:00,668 --> 01:03:02,028 I mean, I know she thinks 932 01:03:02,108 --> 01:03:04,068 I only want to have sex with her, 933 01:03:04,108 --> 01:03:05,988 but that's not what it's about. 934 01:03:06,068 --> 01:03:09,948 I mean, when that moment comes... 935 01:03:10,028 --> 01:03:12,228 I want it to be perfect. 936 01:03:14,948 --> 01:03:16,348 Wow. 937 01:03:16,388 --> 01:03:18,748 That is the gayest thing I have ever heard. 938 01:03:22,748 --> 01:03:25,108 She's the only girl that makes my heart 939 01:03:25,188 --> 01:03:27,628 beat faster and slower at the same time. 940 01:03:30,388 --> 01:03:32,748 When I'm not with her... 941 01:03:32,828 --> 01:03:34,468 I'm not living. 942 01:03:36,868 --> 01:03:41,268 I'm only existing until I can hold her in my arms again. 943 01:03:44,228 --> 01:03:46,668 Gay, gay, gay, gay. 944 01:03:54,588 --> 01:03:58,188 Somebody shit in the locker. 945 01:04:14,348 --> 01:04:16,988 Can I help you find something? 946 01:04:17,068 --> 01:04:20,508 I-I was looking for my... 947 01:04:20,548 --> 01:04:21,668 earring. 948 01:04:21,748 --> 01:04:24,188 It, uh, accidentally fell... 949 01:04:24,268 --> 01:04:26,308 into the lawn mower... 950 01:04:26,388 --> 01:04:29,948 and, uh... ricocheted into the window. 951 01:04:33,628 --> 01:04:35,908 I've always liked earrings on men. 952 01:04:35,988 --> 01:04:37,828 Would you like some lemonade? 953 01:04:40,428 --> 01:04:41,708 Here you go, Taquito. 954 01:04:41,788 --> 01:04:43,908 It's got a Mexican flavor to it. 955 01:04:53,708 --> 01:04:55,268 What the hell is that?! 956 01:04:55,348 --> 01:04:58,308 Quesadilla and spicy menudo with jalapenios... 957 01:04:58,388 --> 01:04:59,708 your national dish. 958 01:05:02,508 --> 01:05:05,108 I'm sorry. 959 01:05:06,788 --> 01:05:10,228 It's been so long since I heard you laugh. 960 01:05:11,908 --> 01:05:13,508 I mean... 961 01:05:13,588 --> 01:05:16,068 since I started working here. 962 01:05:17,468 --> 01:05:18,748 - Oh! Oh! 963 01:05:20,028 --> 01:05:21,028 Back! 964 01:05:24,028 --> 01:05:26,468 Oh, I... I am so sorry. 965 01:05:26,508 --> 01:05:28,428 - No "problemo." 966 01:05:31,428 --> 01:05:34,268 No "problemo." 967 01:05:34,348 --> 01:05:35,388 Oh! 968 01:05:35,468 --> 01:05:37,948 Aah! Carol! Carol! Please! 969 01:05:38,028 --> 01:05:40,148 This would be very unnatural for me 970 01:05:40,228 --> 01:05:42,228 in at least five different ways! 971 01:05:42,308 --> 01:05:43,308 Ah! Oh! 972 01:05:46,148 --> 01:05:49,708 So... you like men? 973 01:05:49,788 --> 01:05:51,348 Of course I do. 974 01:05:51,428 --> 01:05:53,228 What do you think? 975 01:05:53,308 --> 01:05:56,148 Oh... 976 01:05:57,508 --> 01:05:58,748 Oh... 977 01:06:00,788 --> 01:06:02,268 Oh... 978 01:06:08,068 --> 01:06:10,468 Carol... 979 01:06:15,068 --> 01:06:19,428 You are a beautiful and very desirable woman. 980 01:06:20,868 --> 01:06:24,268 And you have a husband who's "dying" to be with you. 981 01:06:24,348 --> 01:06:25,948 H-He said that? 982 01:06:26,028 --> 01:06:27,428 Yes. 983 01:06:28,708 --> 01:06:32,108 I cleaned up the language a bit, but... yes. 984 01:06:35,748 --> 01:06:37,308 I know! 985 01:06:39,548 --> 01:06:42,628 Let's go paint your toenails. 986 01:06:44,108 --> 01:06:46,508 Then we'll wash your hair! 987 01:06:47,788 --> 01:06:50,108 My daughter, Jessie, used to do those things for me. 988 01:06:50,188 --> 01:06:53,868 I'll make up for that right now. 989 01:06:53,948 --> 01:06:55,148 Come on... 990 01:06:55,228 --> 01:06:58,108 let's show that man of yours what he's been missing. 991 01:06:58,188 --> 01:06:59,668 - Come on! 992 01:06:59,708 --> 01:07:01,788 Okay! 993 01:07:08,548 --> 01:07:10,148 Uh-huh, uh-huh. 994 01:07:10,228 --> 01:07:12,988 "Si," yeah, "si, si." 995 01:07:13,068 --> 01:07:14,348 Uh-huh. Okay. 996 01:07:14,428 --> 01:07:15,908 "Si," uh-huh, "si, si." 997 01:07:15,988 --> 01:07:17,668 - "Si, si." 998 01:07:17,748 --> 01:07:19,988 To the left... ooh, right, right, right, right! 999 01:07:20,068 --> 01:07:21,828 Oh, yes! Oh! 1000 01:07:21,908 --> 01:07:23,308 - "Si." - I love that. Oh, yes! 1001 01:07:23,388 --> 01:07:25,668 - Carol! 1002 01:07:25,748 --> 01:07:28,228 How could you?! In my own house?! 1003 01:07:28,308 --> 01:07:29,748 "Senior"... 1004 01:07:29,828 --> 01:07:32,828 And you, Taquito... we were supposed to be amigos! 1005 01:07:32,908 --> 01:07:35,428 - The loofah for the scrubbing. - Get out! 1006 01:07:35,508 --> 01:07:37,428 "Senior," is for the... the bath. I was... 1007 01:07:37,508 --> 01:07:39,468 - Shut up-o. - I was scrubbing. 1008 01:07:39,508 --> 01:07:41,108 - Out! - "Senior..." 1009 01:07:41,188 --> 01:07:42,588 Richie, Richie... 1010 01:07:42,668 --> 01:07:45,268 Really, I-it's... it's not what you think. 1011 01:07:46,908 --> 01:07:48,668 It's my own fault. 1012 01:07:54,188 --> 01:07:56,588 Oh, Daddy! 1013 01:07:56,628 --> 01:07:57,788 Mmm! Oh! 1014 01:07:57,828 --> 01:08:00,668 - Oh! Oh, Daddy! 1015 01:08:05,588 --> 01:08:07,628 Look at all these earrings. 1016 01:08:07,708 --> 01:08:08,868 It's hopeless. 1017 01:08:08,948 --> 01:08:10,068 I'm sorry. 1018 01:08:11,708 --> 01:08:13,388 The prom's in three days. 1019 01:08:13,468 --> 01:08:16,108 Forget about the cheer competition. 1020 01:08:20,628 --> 01:08:22,188 I had it all. 1021 01:08:24,148 --> 01:08:26,788 And I never really appreciated it. 1022 01:08:26,868 --> 01:08:29,308 I took everybody for granted. 1023 01:08:30,508 --> 01:08:34,788 Oh, and today, my dad walked in on me and my mom in the tub. 1024 01:08:35,788 --> 01:08:39,148 I think I may have lost my job as gardener. 1025 01:08:40,548 --> 01:08:43,268 You know, I'm kinda sorry to say this, 1026 01:08:43,348 --> 01:08:46,468 but... this has been really fun. 1027 01:08:49,588 --> 01:08:51,068 Yeah, right. 1028 01:08:53,068 --> 01:08:55,268 Hey, babe, it's Jake. 1029 01:08:55,348 --> 01:08:57,748 Listen, I got a half-hour after wrestling. 1030 01:08:57,788 --> 01:09:00,668 I can either take a shower or I can come on over. 1031 01:09:07,068 --> 01:09:08,988 Too late, dude. 1032 01:09:09,068 --> 01:09:10,948 She's with me right now. 1033 01:09:11,028 --> 01:09:14,068 She says that my peepee's way bigger than yours. 1034 01:09:15,588 --> 01:09:17,788 And that's if I fold it in half. 1035 01:09:18,988 --> 01:09:20,468 Wha... 1036 01:09:21,508 --> 01:09:23,588 - No way! 1037 01:09:23,668 --> 01:09:26,308 Oh, my God, that was awesome, Spence. 1038 01:09:26,348 --> 01:09:27,628 Anytime. 1039 01:09:32,868 --> 01:09:36,588 You know, I really thought I was in love. 1040 01:09:38,388 --> 01:09:40,508 How do you know for sure, anyway? 1041 01:09:41,908 --> 01:09:44,388 I think it's when you find someone 1042 01:09:44,468 --> 01:09:47,508 that you can really be yourself with... 1043 01:09:47,588 --> 01:09:50,268 share anything... you know? 1044 01:09:50,348 --> 01:09:52,348 You mean like best friends? 1045 01:09:52,428 --> 01:09:53,668 Yeah. 1046 01:09:56,348 --> 01:09:58,748 Love's when you can't even imagine 1047 01:09:58,788 --> 01:10:01,988 what your life would be like without that other person, 1048 01:10:02,068 --> 01:10:06,228 when words don't come close to how your heart really feels. 1049 01:10:06,308 --> 01:10:09,668 And even though it doesn't make sense to other people, 1050 01:10:09,748 --> 01:10:11,868 you "know" you're meant to be together. 1051 01:10:11,948 --> 01:10:12,948 Yeah. 1052 01:10:13,028 --> 01:10:15,508 And you spend all night thinking about him. 1053 01:10:15,588 --> 01:10:18,428 And in the morning, you've never felt more rested. 1054 01:10:18,468 --> 01:10:20,628 Oh, it's like you have to grab on to something, 1055 01:10:20,668 --> 01:10:23,308 'cause it seems like your whole body's about to float away. 1056 01:10:25,988 --> 01:10:27,428 Okay... 1057 01:10:27,508 --> 01:10:29,388 - What? 1058 01:10:29,468 --> 01:10:30,548 I have an idea. 1059 01:10:30,628 --> 01:10:31,748 What? What, what? 1060 01:10:31,828 --> 01:10:34,028 - Tell... - It might sound kind of crazy. 1061 01:10:34,108 --> 01:10:35,588 Tell me. Tell me. What? 1062 01:10:35,628 --> 01:10:39,508 Why don't you and I go to the prom together? 1063 01:10:41,828 --> 01:10:43,348 That would be awesome! 1064 01:10:43,428 --> 01:10:45,388 - Yeah! - Yeah! 1065 01:10:45,468 --> 01:10:47,268 - So cool! 1066 01:10:47,348 --> 01:10:48,388 Aaah! 1067 01:10:48,468 --> 01:10:49,548 Yeah! 1068 01:10:49,628 --> 01:10:51,708 We'd make Jake so jealous. 1069 01:10:51,788 --> 01:10:54,428 Yeah. 1070 01:10:54,508 --> 01:10:55,788 Ahhhh. 1071 01:10:57,028 --> 01:10:58,788 I got to pee. Ooh, I got to pee. 1072 01:10:58,868 --> 01:10:59,908 Ooh. 1073 01:11:01,268 --> 01:11:03,228 Hmm-hoo! 1074 01:11:05,948 --> 01:11:07,748 - Oh. 1075 01:11:09,468 --> 01:11:11,868 - Oh! 1076 01:11:11,948 --> 01:11:13,908 - Oh, jeez! 1077 01:11:13,988 --> 01:11:15,228 Sorry, I'll get that. 1078 01:11:15,308 --> 01:11:16,508 Are you okay? 1079 01:11:16,588 --> 01:11:17,788 I'll get it. 1080 01:11:17,828 --> 01:11:20,068 Sorry. 1081 01:11:29,508 --> 01:11:30,708 Jessica? 1082 01:11:32,348 --> 01:11:33,748 Jessica?! 1083 01:11:38,748 --> 01:11:40,268 Jessica! 1084 01:11:40,348 --> 01:11:42,108 Oh, Jessica. 1085 01:11:42,188 --> 01:11:45,148 Oh. Oh, thank God. 1086 01:11:45,188 --> 01:11:47,068 I love you, baby. 1087 01:11:48,228 --> 01:11:50,148 I would do anything for you. 1088 01:11:50,228 --> 01:11:51,468 Yeah? 1089 01:11:54,268 --> 01:11:56,668 Uh... how much money you got? 1090 01:11:56,708 --> 01:11:58,028 What? 1091 01:11:58,068 --> 01:11:59,428 How much money you got? 1092 01:11:59,468 --> 01:12:00,948 Um... 1093 01:12:01,028 --> 01:12:02,628 Uh... 1094 01:12:02,708 --> 01:12:03,788 About $40. 1095 01:12:05,788 --> 01:12:07,228 That your car? 1096 01:12:09,628 --> 01:12:11,228 It's my dad's. 1097 01:12:11,308 --> 01:12:12,868 You know that. 1098 01:12:12,948 --> 01:12:15,548 Oh, yeah. Cool. 1099 01:12:15,628 --> 01:12:17,108 Give me the keys. 1100 01:12:20,628 --> 01:12:21,908 Oh. Thanks. 1101 01:12:23,308 --> 01:12:26,548 Hey, uh, so, uh, w-what'd you say your name was? 1102 01:12:27,628 --> 01:12:28,628 Billy. 1103 01:12:28,668 --> 01:12:30,468 Oh, yeah. Ooh. 1104 01:12:33,028 --> 01:12:35,468 Take it easy, Bobby. 1105 01:12:36,548 --> 01:12:38,268 - It's "Billy." 1106 01:12:52,948 --> 01:12:54,228 Aaah! 1107 01:13:13,308 --> 01:13:14,708 Yeah. 1108 01:13:28,468 --> 01:13:29,868 Where's Jessica? 1109 01:13:29,948 --> 01:13:32,988 Don't worry, Miss Bernard. 1110 01:13:33,068 --> 01:13:34,428 She'll be here. 1111 01:13:49,308 --> 01:13:50,908 Hey. 1112 01:13:50,988 --> 01:13:53,948 I really hope this works, Jessica. 1113 01:13:53,988 --> 01:13:56,268 Come on, let's go kick some ass. 1114 01:13:56,348 --> 01:13:58,108 Okay. 1115 01:13:58,188 --> 01:13:59,628 Aah. Oh! 1116 01:13:59,708 --> 01:14:01,868 Dude, there's Jessica. 1117 01:14:01,948 --> 01:14:03,388 Whatever. 1118 01:14:03,428 --> 01:14:05,188 Dude! 1119 01:14:07,268 --> 01:14:08,628 Number one! 1120 01:14:22,708 --> 01:14:24,748 She "does" love me. 1121 01:14:51,428 --> 01:14:53,188 Whoo-hoo! 1122 01:15:02,588 --> 01:15:04,748 The Bees are coming! The Bees are coming! 1123 01:15:04,828 --> 01:15:05,748 Sting this! 1124 01:15:05,788 --> 01:15:07,788 That's you! That's you! I see you! 1125 01:15:09,948 --> 01:15:11,188 Yeah! 1126 01:15:17,788 --> 01:15:19,668 - Whoa! Oh! Aaah! 1127 01:15:21,308 --> 01:15:22,308 Aaah! 1128 01:15:27,628 --> 01:15:29,068 - Oh! Je... 1129 01:15:30,348 --> 01:15:31,908 Oh, come on, man. 1130 01:15:42,308 --> 01:15:43,628 Ladies and gentlemen, 1131 01:15:43,708 --> 01:15:46,588 it appears the older gentleman in the bee outfit 1132 01:15:46,628 --> 01:15:49,628 with the fake boobs is the school janitor. 1133 01:15:49,708 --> 01:15:53,588 As per Section 31 C of the rule book, 1134 01:15:53,668 --> 01:15:56,628 school employees are allowed to be mascots. 1135 01:15:56,708 --> 01:15:59,188 Say hello to your new champions... 1136 01:15:59,268 --> 01:16:01,308 the Bridgetown Honeys! 1137 01:16:01,388 --> 01:16:03,308 Aaah! 1138 01:16:05,628 --> 01:16:07,068 Aaah! 1139 01:16:07,148 --> 01:16:08,068 Yeah! 1140 01:16:08,148 --> 01:16:09,428 Yeah! 1141 01:16:09,508 --> 01:16:11,588 Aaah! 1142 01:16:16,428 --> 01:16:18,108 - Whoo-hoo! - Oh! 1143 01:16:19,628 --> 01:16:21,068 Ugh! 1144 01:16:42,468 --> 01:16:43,908 Here's a bizarre story for you... 1145 01:16:43,988 --> 01:16:46,748 police are now searching for the hot chick bandit... 1146 01:16:46,788 --> 01:16:50,468 a beautiful young woman who lures men into dark alleyways, 1147 01:16:50,548 --> 01:16:53,548 beats them senseless, and takes their wallets. 1148 01:16:53,628 --> 01:16:55,748 Well, we thought maybe she needed some help. 1149 01:16:55,828 --> 01:16:57,228 Yeah, we're helpful guys. 1150 01:16:57,268 --> 01:17:00,068 So we went into the alley, and then she starts wailing on me. 1151 01:17:00,148 --> 01:17:02,508 And let me tell you... she didn't hit like a girl. 1152 01:17:02,588 --> 01:17:05,068 Luckily, Fitzy, the good guy that he is... 1153 01:17:05,148 --> 01:17:08,188 he was hiding behind a dumpster with a video camera. 1154 01:17:08,268 --> 01:17:10,348 Looks like she worked you over pretty good. 1155 01:17:10,428 --> 01:17:12,508 Yeah, well, don't get me wrong... 1156 01:17:12,588 --> 01:17:15,068 I got some shots in. 1157 01:17:15,148 --> 01:17:16,308 Ow! 1158 01:17:16,388 --> 01:17:17,708 - Ow! Ow! Ow! 1159 01:17:19,028 --> 01:17:21,028 Ow! 1160 01:17:21,108 --> 01:17:22,228 Ow! 1161 01:17:22,308 --> 01:17:23,468 - Owww! 1162 01:17:24,548 --> 01:17:25,788 Owww! 1163 01:17:25,828 --> 01:17:27,868 Why? Oh, God. 1164 01:17:27,948 --> 01:17:30,268 Oh, God, that hurt. 1165 01:17:30,348 --> 01:17:31,828 Owww! 1166 01:17:34,948 --> 01:17:37,308 - Why?! 1167 01:17:40,388 --> 01:17:42,428 Hi, it's April. Leave me a message. 1168 01:17:42,508 --> 01:17:44,348 - April, it's Hildenburg. 1169 01:17:44,428 --> 01:17:46,908 I think I found Jessica's body. It's in an alley outside a bar. 1170 01:17:46,948 --> 01:17:49,508 But we got to move fast, because the police are looking for it. 1171 01:17:49,588 --> 01:17:50,828 - Call me back. - Ohh! Oh! 1172 01:17:50,908 --> 01:17:52,228 Aaaahhh! 1173 01:18:24,108 --> 01:18:25,348 Jessica? 1174 01:18:32,228 --> 01:18:35,468 Not now, Booger. 1175 01:18:35,548 --> 01:18:37,028 I knew it! 1176 01:18:37,108 --> 01:18:39,188 Jessie, it "is" you! 1177 01:18:42,788 --> 01:18:44,748 How come you didn't snitch on me? 1178 01:18:44,828 --> 01:18:46,308 'Cause you're my sister, 1179 01:18:46,348 --> 01:18:48,548 and I accept you for who you are. 1180 01:18:50,468 --> 01:18:53,108 Come here. 1181 01:18:56,228 --> 01:18:58,388 You are such a little weirdo. 1182 01:19:20,315 --> 01:19:21,595 Ooh... 1183 01:19:21,675 --> 01:19:24,155 Sweet as cand-y! 1184 01:19:24,235 --> 01:19:25,715 Ling-Ling! 1185 01:19:27,075 --> 01:19:31,035 "L" to the "I" to the "N" to the "G." 1186 01:19:32,435 --> 01:19:35,435 Ling-Ling, you forgot your bling-bling. 1187 01:19:35,515 --> 01:19:38,955 Mom... you're ruining my life! 1188 01:19:40,235 --> 01:19:42,435 I just want to meet you halfway. 1189 01:19:43,995 --> 01:19:46,235 Nigga, "prease"! 1190 01:19:56,115 --> 01:19:58,875 I wish my mama got "me" some bling-bling. 1191 01:19:58,915 --> 01:20:01,035 Honey, if you don't want her as your mama, 1192 01:20:01,115 --> 01:20:02,035 "I'll" take her. 1193 01:20:02,115 --> 01:20:04,035 - Girl, please. - Girl, please. 1194 01:20:33,475 --> 01:20:35,555 You still think I have a chance at prom queen? 1195 01:20:35,635 --> 01:20:37,075 No. 1196 01:20:37,155 --> 01:20:38,555 Okay. 1197 01:20:43,315 --> 01:20:44,475 Mom! 1198 01:20:45,995 --> 01:20:47,555 I'm sorry. 1199 01:20:47,635 --> 01:20:49,835 But why do you have to keep embarrassing me 1200 01:20:49,915 --> 01:20:51,115 in front of my friends? 1201 01:20:53,475 --> 01:20:55,715 You're not ashamed of me. 1202 01:20:57,475 --> 01:21:00,275 You're really ashamed of yourself. 1203 01:21:02,595 --> 01:21:03,795 Tell Lulu... 1204 01:21:03,875 --> 01:21:06,075 easy on the chronic. 1205 01:21:22,075 --> 01:21:24,195 Ohhh! Oh! Oh! 1206 01:21:28,955 --> 01:21:31,635 Oh, h-h-hi, Carol. 1207 01:21:33,795 --> 01:21:35,795 Jessica didn't get ready here. 1208 01:21:37,795 --> 01:21:41,275 No. No, she hasn't been here all week. 1209 01:21:44,955 --> 01:21:47,035 Oh! I knew it! 1210 01:21:47,115 --> 01:21:49,555 Something is going on with Jessica and April. 1211 01:21:49,595 --> 01:21:52,235 Oh... oh, I'm gonna get to the bottom of it. 1212 01:21:52,315 --> 01:21:55,875 If you ruin April's night, I will have you put away. 1213 01:21:55,955 --> 01:21:57,435 Wh... 1214 01:21:57,475 --> 01:22:00,235 I-if you're not gonna help me, I-I'm gonna do it myself. 1215 01:22:24,795 --> 01:22:26,115 I think this is a good spot. 1216 01:22:27,595 --> 01:22:29,395 Jake's got to come right by here. 1217 01:22:29,475 --> 01:22:31,835 I don't really care about Jake anymore. 1218 01:22:31,915 --> 01:22:34,635 You shouldn't. He's a jerk. 1219 01:22:34,675 --> 01:22:36,795 There's no one I'd rather be with here tonight. 1220 01:22:38,475 --> 01:22:39,675 Me either. 1221 01:22:42,555 --> 01:22:45,955 April, you look so beautiful tonight. 1222 01:22:46,035 --> 01:22:48,515 No one has ever been there for me like you have. 1223 01:22:48,595 --> 01:22:50,555 You've always been there for me. 1224 01:22:50,595 --> 01:22:54,595 Any guy would be so lucky to have you as their girlfriend. 1225 01:22:54,675 --> 01:22:56,875 And I should know. 1226 01:22:56,955 --> 01:22:59,195 I've been a guy for almost a week now. 1227 01:22:59,275 --> 01:23:02,635 And in that time, you have been such a good friend to me. 1228 01:23:02,715 --> 01:23:05,395 I don't know how I could ever thank you. 1229 01:23:05,475 --> 01:23:08,195 Ehhhh... 1230 01:23:11,275 --> 01:23:12,395 Here he comes. 1231 01:23:16,915 --> 01:23:18,955 That dress looks great. 1232 01:23:19,035 --> 01:23:21,515 Is it easy to get out of? 1233 01:23:32,195 --> 01:23:32,835 God. 1234 01:23:32,915 --> 01:23:34,395 Aaah! 1235 01:23:34,435 --> 01:23:36,515 Oh... 1236 01:23:40,475 --> 01:23:43,275 I am "so" lesbian right now. 1237 01:23:46,955 --> 01:23:49,715 We totally nailed him. 1238 01:23:49,795 --> 01:23:51,715 Jake is so jealous. 1239 01:23:51,795 --> 01:23:54,075 He spilled his drink all over his date. 1240 01:23:54,155 --> 01:23:56,635 You should've seen it. 1241 01:24:00,275 --> 01:24:03,355 We already got him, honey. He can't see us anym... 1242 01:24:08,755 --> 01:24:10,315 Spence, I love you. 1243 01:24:11,066 --> 01:24:12,995 I love you, too, April. 1244 01:24:13,035 --> 01:24:15,252 If you weren't holding on to me right now... 1245 01:24:16,281 --> 01:24:17,721 I'd float away. 1246 01:24:19,075 --> 01:24:21,675 You're my best friend, and now you're a guy. 1247 01:24:21,755 --> 01:24:24,475 It's meant to be. 1248 01:24:29,834 --> 01:24:32,035 April... 1249 01:24:32,115 --> 01:24:34,555 you don't need me or any guy 1250 01:24:34,595 --> 01:24:37,355 to make you feel beautiful and special... 1251 01:24:37,435 --> 01:24:39,795 because you are. 1252 01:24:39,875 --> 01:24:43,675 You are the greatest girl in the whole world. 1253 01:24:45,275 --> 01:24:47,795 You are all you need. 1254 01:24:47,875 --> 01:24:51,875 I know it's crazy, but I can't help it. 1255 01:24:51,955 --> 01:24:53,955 I'm in love with you, Spence. 1256 01:25:23,435 --> 01:25:24,715 April... 1257 01:25:26,915 --> 01:25:28,595 You gonna be okay? 1258 01:25:28,675 --> 01:25:30,515 I'm sorry. 1259 01:25:30,595 --> 01:25:32,275 Don't be. 1260 01:25:35,795 --> 01:25:38,035 We're not gonna let a little thing like... 1261 01:25:38,115 --> 01:25:40,835 me turning into a man and you wanting to be with me 1262 01:25:40,915 --> 01:25:43,075 get in the way of our friendship, are we? 1263 01:25:51,675 --> 01:25:54,115 I'm in love with Billy. 1264 01:25:56,115 --> 01:25:58,155 And if I'm gonna be stuck like this forever, 1265 01:25:58,235 --> 01:26:02,675 he's just gonna have to accept me as I am... 1266 01:26:02,715 --> 01:26:05,155 a man. 1267 01:26:09,235 --> 01:26:11,715 That's my man. 1268 01:26:14,395 --> 01:26:16,675 I think I know who's in Jessica's body. 1269 01:26:17,915 --> 01:26:19,875 And I know where we can find him. 1270 01:26:19,955 --> 01:26:22,195 Let's find Jessica and get out of here. 1271 01:26:22,235 --> 01:26:25,835 Hildenburg, you know what to do. 1272 01:26:25,915 --> 01:26:27,275 Come on. 1273 01:26:36,355 --> 01:26:37,435 Aah! 1274 01:26:42,595 --> 01:26:44,115 Come on. 1275 01:26:44,195 --> 01:26:46,195 That's a huge bitch. 1276 01:26:46,275 --> 01:26:48,195 I didn't see it coming. 1277 01:26:48,275 --> 01:26:50,875 No way, man. 1278 01:26:50,955 --> 01:26:52,955 Scoot. He's mine. 1279 01:26:52,995 --> 01:26:54,595 Mmm, boy, I don't think so. 1280 01:26:54,675 --> 01:26:55,875 Aah! 1281 01:26:57,395 --> 01:26:59,715 Get away! 1282 01:26:59,795 --> 01:27:01,155 Billy... 1283 01:27:01,235 --> 01:27:03,475 It's me... Jessica. 1284 01:27:05,875 --> 01:27:07,835 It's "always" been me. 1285 01:27:07,915 --> 01:27:09,315 Mister... 1286 01:27:09,395 --> 01:27:10,995 you're freaking me out. 1287 01:27:11,075 --> 01:27:13,515 You know how when I touch you there, 1288 01:27:13,595 --> 01:27:15,715 it makes your whole leg tingle? 1289 01:27:15,795 --> 01:27:17,835 And when I touch you here... 1290 01:27:21,915 --> 01:27:24,555 No. No. No, it can't be. 1291 01:27:24,635 --> 01:27:27,155 Do you remember after the homecoming game... 1292 01:27:27,235 --> 01:27:30,595 after you threw the winning pass to beat Carlmont, 1293 01:27:30,635 --> 01:27:33,035 you and I went behind the scoreboard and... 1294 01:27:50,475 --> 01:27:53,275 You got to believe me. 1295 01:27:55,435 --> 01:27:59,795 Silly... Billy... nilly. 1296 01:28:01,395 --> 01:28:03,075 Just close your eyes. 1297 01:28:03,155 --> 01:28:06,275 You'll know it's me. 1298 01:28:26,195 --> 01:28:27,315 Oh! 1299 01:28:27,395 --> 01:28:29,475 Oh, I can't! I can't do it! 1300 01:28:29,555 --> 01:28:31,435 You always said you'd love me no matter what. 1301 01:28:31,515 --> 01:28:34,955 Bu... I... you're a 30-year-old dude! 1302 01:28:35,035 --> 01:28:36,395 Just on the outside! 1303 01:28:38,035 --> 01:28:39,675 Billy! 1304 01:28:39,755 --> 01:28:41,195 - Bil... 1305 01:28:41,275 --> 01:28:42,675 We found your body. 1306 01:28:46,635 --> 01:28:48,011 - It'll be fine. - Are you sure she's all right? 1307 01:28:48,035 --> 01:28:49,291 I'm sure everything's gonna be fine. 1308 01:28:49,315 --> 01:28:51,075 Booger, hurry up! 1309 01:28:51,155 --> 01:28:52,635 Come on, buddy! 1310 01:28:52,715 --> 01:28:55,515 You got to learn to run in those heels if you're gonna wear them. 1311 01:29:15,075 --> 01:29:16,715 Oh, shit! 1312 01:29:22,755 --> 01:29:25,475 I knew it was gonna be a good night. 1313 01:29:25,515 --> 01:29:27,275 Ow! God. 1314 01:29:27,315 --> 01:29:28,995 Thanks, Hildenburg. 1315 01:29:29,075 --> 01:29:31,315 I want my body back right now! 1316 01:29:31,355 --> 01:29:34,875 Well, finders keepers, sweetheart. 1317 01:29:38,235 --> 01:29:41,035 How dare you?! Do you know what this could do to my lungs?! 1318 01:29:42,595 --> 01:29:44,435 You give me that earring! Give me that earring! 1319 01:29:44,475 --> 01:29:45,635 You give me that earring. 1320 01:29:45,715 --> 01:29:48,115 Give it to me. Give it. Give it to me. 1321 01:29:48,195 --> 01:29:49,395 Okay. Okay, okay, okay. 1322 01:29:49,475 --> 01:29:52,035 Sit down. Calm down. Calm down. 1323 01:29:52,115 --> 01:29:53,835 I'll make you a deal, okay? 1324 01:29:53,875 --> 01:29:55,955 Now... 1325 01:29:56,035 --> 01:29:58,915 just let me make another 500 bucks tonight, okay? 1326 01:29:58,955 --> 01:30:01,715 And then I'll give you your body back 1327 01:30:01,755 --> 01:30:03,875 'cause it's so important to you. 1328 01:30:03,955 --> 01:30:06,355 "I'm crying about my body." 1329 01:30:06,395 --> 01:30:08,395 And then... 1330 01:30:08,435 --> 01:30:10,555 you can just loan it to me every other weekend 1331 01:30:10,595 --> 01:30:13,035 and... so I can pay off some gambling debts. 1332 01:30:13,115 --> 01:30:15,675 Weekends... loan you my body. 1333 01:30:17,235 --> 01:30:18,755 I want my body back! 1334 01:30:18,835 --> 01:30:21,155 Give me my body back! 1335 01:30:21,235 --> 01:30:22,275 - Give... 1336 01:30:23,275 --> 01:30:24,435 Hey... 1337 01:30:24,475 --> 01:30:26,595 Look at me. 1338 01:30:26,675 --> 01:30:28,555 I'm only gonna tell you this once... 1339 01:30:28,635 --> 01:30:32,235 no strangling the dancers or you are out of here! 1340 01:30:32,315 --> 01:30:34,275 Now, can't you read? 1341 01:30:42,475 --> 01:30:44,115 Now, "this" is more like it. 1342 01:30:46,315 --> 01:30:48,395 I got to hit the head. 1343 01:30:53,835 --> 01:30:55,555 Hey, don't worry. 1344 01:30:55,635 --> 01:30:57,435 We're gonna get him. 1345 01:31:03,595 --> 01:31:04,795 Hey, babe. 1346 01:31:04,875 --> 01:31:06,355 Sweetheart. 1347 01:31:06,435 --> 01:31:08,075 Hey... 1348 01:31:09,115 --> 01:31:10,755 No way! 1349 01:31:10,835 --> 01:31:13,355 Jessica?! This is where you've been? 1350 01:31:14,595 --> 01:31:16,595 I want a dance from "you!" 1351 01:31:16,635 --> 01:31:17,915 Ye-e-e-ah! 1352 01:31:17,995 --> 01:31:18,915 Mar... 1353 01:31:18,995 --> 01:31:20,075 Oh. 1354 01:31:20,795 --> 01:31:21,955 Ugh! Oh! 1355 01:31:24,155 --> 01:31:28,395 So, dancing naked must be fun, huh? 1356 01:31:28,475 --> 01:31:30,555 Yeah, sure... 1357 01:31:30,635 --> 01:31:32,155 why wouldn't it be? 1358 01:31:32,235 --> 01:31:34,275 Where do you keep your weed, though? 1359 01:31:38,475 --> 01:31:40,715 Ohhhh. 1360 01:31:40,755 --> 01:31:43,395 That's good. 1361 01:31:43,475 --> 01:31:46,395 I don't have one of those. 1362 01:31:46,475 --> 01:31:48,355 Sure. 1363 01:32:03,275 --> 01:32:05,035 Bye, Spence. 1364 01:32:07,275 --> 01:32:09,955 You'll always be my best friend. 1365 01:32:10,035 --> 01:32:11,635 Forever. 1366 01:32:26,795 --> 01:32:28,195 Billy? 1367 01:32:28,275 --> 01:32:29,795 Hi, Mrs. Spencer. 1368 01:32:30,955 --> 01:32:32,995 Mr. Spencer. 1369 01:32:33,035 --> 01:32:34,875 How's it going, Booger? 1370 01:32:38,075 --> 01:32:40,475 This isn't the prom. 1371 01:32:40,515 --> 01:32:41,995 Oh, my God. 1372 01:32:45,795 --> 01:32:46,955 Anything yet? 1373 01:32:47,035 --> 01:32:48,835 No. 1374 01:32:48,915 --> 01:32:50,635 Oh. 1375 01:32:51,955 --> 01:32:53,755 There you go! Come on, shake it! 1376 01:32:53,795 --> 01:32:55,315 Whoo! You naughty little Honeybee. 1377 01:32:55,355 --> 01:32:56,395 Yes, you are! 1378 01:32:57,315 --> 01:32:59,595 Oh! Ho! Whoo! 1379 01:33:01,435 --> 01:33:02,755 Anything yet? 1380 01:33:02,835 --> 01:33:03,715 No. 1381 01:33:03,795 --> 01:33:06,395 I'm all right. I'm o... 1382 01:33:16,755 --> 01:33:18,595 Oh! Oh! Oh! 1383 01:33:18,675 --> 01:33:21,515 Uh-huh. 1384 01:33:25,155 --> 01:33:27,315 Hey, buddy? How about a lap dance? 1385 01:33:39,635 --> 01:33:42,275 Hey! Can't you read?! 1386 01:33:42,355 --> 01:33:44,275 Monday night's gay night. 1387 01:33:50,715 --> 01:33:51,715 What? 1388 01:33:51,795 --> 01:33:54,235 Oh. 1389 01:33:55,555 --> 01:33:56,955 It's me? 1390 01:33:58,755 --> 01:33:59,915 Really? 1391 01:34:01,595 --> 01:34:02,915 Oh! 1392 01:34:02,995 --> 01:34:04,355 Oh! 1393 01:34:04,395 --> 01:34:05,795 It is! 1394 01:34:05,875 --> 01:34:07,075 It really is! 1395 01:34:07,155 --> 01:34:09,075 Oh. 1396 01:34:17,075 --> 01:34:18,275 Aaah! 1397 01:34:30,515 --> 01:34:31,955 Taquito? 1398 01:34:36,995 --> 01:34:38,315 It's really you. 1399 01:34:46,435 --> 01:34:48,555 Billy. 1400 01:34:48,635 --> 01:34:50,515 Mmm... 1401 01:34:52,755 --> 01:34:55,235 Listen, I... I'm so so... 1402 01:34:55,275 --> 01:34:56,755 Doesn't matter. 1403 01:34:56,835 --> 01:34:58,195 Nothing matters. 1404 01:34:58,275 --> 01:35:00,595 I don't care about the other girl I took to the prom. 1405 01:35:00,675 --> 01:35:02,115 I don't care what Jake thinks. 1406 01:35:02,155 --> 01:35:04,115 I don't care that you took my money, 1407 01:35:04,155 --> 01:35:05,835 stole my dad's car, 1408 01:35:05,915 --> 01:35:07,835 and... tried to run me down with it. 1409 01:35:07,915 --> 01:35:08,835 No, I... 1410 01:35:08,915 --> 01:35:10,555 None of that matters. 1411 01:35:13,755 --> 01:35:15,355 I'll even try to find a way 1412 01:35:15,435 --> 01:35:18,995 to get over your new job as an exotic dancer. 1413 01:35:24,755 --> 01:35:26,035 Billy... 1414 01:35:26,075 --> 01:35:27,595 do you feel that? 1415 01:35:29,755 --> 01:35:32,235 You are the only boy who makes my heart 1416 01:35:32,315 --> 01:35:35,555 beat faster and slower at the same time. 1417 01:35:57,275 --> 01:35:59,675 I'm not pressing charges. 1418 01:36:13,355 --> 01:36:16,235 Hey, you better get back onstage, little lady. 1419 01:36:16,315 --> 01:36:18,875 The only place this little lady is going 1420 01:36:18,955 --> 01:36:21,555 is home with me and my wife. 1421 01:36:21,595 --> 01:36:24,755 Hey, what kind of a place do you think I'm running here, pal?! 1422 01:36:24,835 --> 01:36:26,715 Class valedictorian... 1423 01:36:26,795 --> 01:36:29,275 Keecia "Ling-Ling" Jackson. 1424 01:36:31,475 --> 01:36:33,195 First of all, 1425 01:36:33,275 --> 01:36:36,795 I'd like to say I'm very proud to be half Korean. 1426 01:36:36,875 --> 01:36:39,195 Thank you, honey! 1427 01:36:39,275 --> 01:36:43,715 But don't forget... you're also one-quarter Jewish! 1428 01:36:43,755 --> 01:36:45,875 "Mazel tov," baby! 1429 01:36:45,955 --> 01:36:47,355 Shalom! 1430 01:36:54,795 --> 01:36:56,595 Wait! Wait! 1431 01:37:03,875 --> 01:37:05,635 Hey, how's it going? 1432 01:37:05,715 --> 01:37:07,355 Hey, thanks for helping me out, man. 1433 01:37:07,435 --> 01:37:09,155 You're a good man. You're a good guy. 1434 01:37:22,235 --> 01:37:23,515 Aaaahhh! 1435 01:39:27,015 --> 01:39:28,255 Action! 1436 01:39:28,335 --> 01:39:30,935 Okay, let's think. 1437 01:39:31,015 --> 01:39:34,175 What could have caused this? 1438 01:39:38,335 --> 01:39:40,295 No clue. 1439 01:39:40,335 --> 01:39:43,295 I mean, my house "is" built on an old Indian burial ground... 1440 01:39:43,335 --> 01:39:46,095 Sorry. Let's try again. 1441 01:39:46,175 --> 01:39:48,135 Okay, let's think. 1442 01:39:48,175 --> 01:39:50,815 What could have caused this? 1443 01:39:57,855 --> 01:39:59,335 Sorry. 1444 01:40:00,375 --> 01:40:02,615 Okay, let's think. 1445 01:40:02,695 --> 01:40:04,975 What could have caused this? 1446 01:40:05,055 --> 01:40:07,535 No clue. 1447 01:40:11,695 --> 01:40:13,655 One more time. 1448 01:40:13,695 --> 01:40:16,055 What could have caused this? 1449 01:40:26,735 --> 01:40:28,655 Okay, one more time. 1450 01:40:29,735 --> 01:40:31,335 Okay, let's think. 1451 01:40:31,415 --> 01:40:33,495 What could have caused this? 1452 01:40:37,895 --> 01:40:39,175 Okay. 1453 01:40:39,255 --> 01:40:40,975 Okay, one more time. I'm ready. 1454 01:40:55,095 --> 01:40:56,855 Okay, I'll get it. 1455 01:40:56,935 --> 01:40:58,735 I'm used to it. 1456 01:41:05,855 --> 01:41:08,295 I've got cheerleading practice, the prom. 1457 01:41:12,855 --> 01:41:14,855 Oh h-hang on. 1458 01:41:14,895 --> 01:41:16,255 Action! 1459 01:41:17,275 --> 01:41:19,755 No clue. 1460 01:41:23,875 --> 01:41:24,955 Cut! 1461 01:41:26,035 --> 01:41:27,555 Action! 1462 01:41:27,635 --> 01:41:30,235 No clue. 1463 01:41:30,275 --> 01:41:33,555 I mean, my house "is" built on an old Indian burial ground. 1464 01:41:37,835 --> 01:41:39,075 Sorr... 1465 01:41:39,115 --> 01:41:41,675 Aha! Here we go. 1466 01:41:41,755 --> 01:41:42,875 Sorry. 1467 01:41:44,315 --> 01:41:45,555 Action! 1468 01:41:45,635 --> 01:41:47,395 No clue. 1469 01:41:50,155 --> 01:41:51,755 I mean... 1470 01:41:51,795 --> 01:41:53,755 Sorry. I'll get through it. 1471 01:41:53,795 --> 01:41:56,235 Aaah! Here we go. I'm sorry. Give me that. 1472 01:41:56,315 --> 01:41:58,115 Aaah! 1473 01:41:58,195 --> 01:42:01,835 Are you saying... 1474 01:42:01,915 --> 01:42:04,235 people think I'm perfect? 1475 01:42:09,755 --> 01:42:12,875 Are you saying... 1476 01:42:12,915 --> 01:42:14,915 people think I'm perfect? 1477 01:42:20,955 --> 01:42:21,955 Sorry. 1478 01:42:23,595 --> 01:42:26,875 Are you saying... 1479 01:42:26,955 --> 01:42:29,275 people think I'm perfect? 1480 01:42:35,955 --> 01:42:38,155 Okay. Okay. 1481 01:42:38,235 --> 01:42:39,715 Then we got it? 1482 01:42:39,795 --> 01:42:41,395 - I think we got it. - All right. 94958