All language subtitles for Cheers.S10E14.DVDRiP.XViD-MACRO

Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.

(phone ringing)

SAM (on answering machine):
Hi. This is Cheers.

Leave a message at the beep.

(beep)

Norm, this is Vera.
Please pick up.

Norm! Norm?

(line disconnects)

(phone rings)

SAM:
Hi. This is Cheers.
Leave a message at the beep.

(beep)

VERA:
Norm, I know you're there.

Pick up the phone, Norm.

It's 3:00 in the morning.

I want you to come home.

Norm?

Norm!

(hangs up)

(phone rings)

SAM:
Hi. This is Cheers.
Leave a message at the beep.

(beep)

Hi, Sam.
This is Vera Peterson again.

Listen, uh, ignore
those messages.

It turns out Norm was here in
bed next to me the whole time.

And I thought
that big lump was our dog.

Who knew?

(theme song begins)

# Making your way
in the world today #

# Takes everything you've got #

# Taking a break
from all your worries #

# Sure would help a lot #

# Wouldn't you like
to get away? #

# Sometimes you want to go #

# Where everybody
knows your name #

# And they're always
glad you came #

# You wanna be
where you can see #

# Our troubles
are all the same #

# You wanna be where
everybody knows your name #

# You wanna go
where people know #

# People are all the same #

# You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. #

That's it.

The furnace is
definitely out.

Any luck trying to get through
to the repairman?

No, it's still busy.

Well, why don't you try
calling someone else?

What kind of manager are you

if you can't handle
a simple problem like that?

Sam, these are the only people
in Boston

who can service that Guatemalan
furnace you bought on sale.

Oh. Keep trying.

It's ringing. Hello?
Hi, there.

Uh, yes, our furnace
is on the blink.

Um, it's the Little Diablo
model, the grey one.

It's a full duct,
forced-air model. Huh?

Um, let's see... 55,000 BTUs.

BTUs.

Well, how do I know
what that stands for?

You're the Guatemalan!

Carla, good news.

I've, uh, given
a lot of thought,

and I've decided
to offer my employees

a, uh, group medical plan.

Oh, man, that's
great, Sammy,

Yeah.
What changed your mind?

Oh, it's the right thing to do.

You guys need it,
you deserve it...

it's important to you.

Plus, they passed
some kind of law.

All right, the thing is--
fellows, listen up.

SAM:
To qualify for

the group rate, I need one more
person to sign on.

PAUL:
Thank God, Sam.

You don't know what it's like
to walk around uninsured,

knowing you might get hit
by a bus or need an operation,

and they'd take your house
and your, your savings,

and that might
not even be enough.

You saved my life, Sam.

Actually, Paul, I was kind of
thinking of offering it to Norm.

Hey, congratulations, Norm.

Woody, why do I have
to have this bag on my hand?

It's for the
grand unveiling.

Hi, Kelly.

Why do you have that bag
on your hand?

It's to cover up
the beautiful engagement ring

that Woody just bought me.

Oh, way to be
anticlimactic, Kelly!

There, ta-dah.

Wow, what a beauty!

So, uh, what's going on
over here, you guys, huh?

Yeah, we saw Kelly coming in
with a bag on her hand.

Yeah, it's for the
grand unveiling of
her engagement ring.

Oh, damn.

We thought there was
gonna be a puppet show.

Well, I've got to
get going, Woody.

I'm meeting my lawyer about
the prenuptial agreement. Bye.

You, you guys have
a prenuptial agreement?

Sure. Oh, I love her,
but I'm not stupid.

God forbid,
things don't work out.

I don't want
to lose half my stuff.

Good thinking, Woody.

NORM: So, uh, Wood,
that's a nice ring.

Have her parents
seen it yet?

No. They will
in a couple days.

They're gonna throw us
an engagement party.

A party!
Oh, cool!

Her grandmother's even coming
all the way from Florida.

She's kind of the head
of the family.

From what I hear,
she's pretty scary.

She's bossy, mean
and tough as nails.

You wouldn't want
to mess with her.

Yeah? Bet you my ma
could take her.

Gloves or bare fists, open hand,
closed hand, I don't care.

Well, I've drawn up a list
of names of the people

I want to invite
to the party.

The only problem is,
I only get to invite a few.

Where do you
draw the line?

Well, Woody, something that
Lilith and I find helpful

when we plan a party is to
simply start at the bottom

of the list, and eliminate
the least desirable.

Okay. Cranes are out.

Thanks, Dr. Crane.

That was helpful.

So, uh, Woodso, how much did
your ring set you back?

Well, they say when you buy
an engagement ring,

you're supposed to spend the
equivalent of six months salary,

but it looked kind of naked
without a diamond in it.

So how much we talking?
Over a grand or what?

Well, the salesman said that
it's bad luck for the couple

to know how much
the ring cost.

Woody, how are you
gonna afford that
on your salary?

Don't worry, Sam.
I'm getting a night job.

You, you're gonna
go do another job

after you leave here
at 2:30 in the morning?

Yep! Graveyard shift.

Where?

Graveyard, Sam.

Gee whiz, say
good night, Gracie.

Maintenance sticker?

I don't know.
It's pretty dark in there.

REBECCA: All right,
hold on a second.

Carla, hand me the phone!

Here you go.

Thank you.

All right,
I'm wiping off

the maintenance
sticker now.

REBECCA:
Well, according to this, the
heater was last serviced...

This heater has
never been serviced.

I guess you don't
need to bring a...

Carla, what
are you doing?

Carla, what is
that noise?

Well, I'm putting
this grate back on.

You know, it's
a little dangerous

to have it lying
around out here.

Carla!

Now this is not funny!

You let me out of
here right now!

Oh, fine!
I'm gonna call the police!

Boy, you know, one of our
patrons could trip on this wire.

Oh, great!

Now the phone
doesn't work either!

All right, it's closing time!
(rings bell)

Everybody out. Mr. Peterson,
Mr. Clavin, come on. Let's go.

I'm already late.

Come on.
I mean, the bar closes at 2:00.

It's just now... 2:30.

Tonight's my first night
at the graveyard.

I don't want to be late,
all right?

Now, come on, you guys
really got to go.

Let's go.
Come on.

Woody! Woody! Woody!
Hold it! Hold it!

What's the rush?

It's not like your customers
are going to be going anywhere.

Huh?
Yeah, yeah.

But you know, it is going to be
awfully lonely out there, Wood.

CLIFF:
Oh, no, now,
don't worry.

You'll have
plenty of company.

They won't be too talkative,
what with their lips sewn shut.

Well, you don't actually have
to see the bodies, do you?

I mean, they're in the coffins,
right?

Oh, yeah, most of them are.

The ones that can afford it.

Yeah, the rest of them,
they, uh, put in body bags

or sometimes just a big roll
of blotting paper.

Sometimes they're
just laying about

arms and legs akimbo.

Yeah, their lips drawn
in a ghastly rictus.

I don't know what rictus means,
Mr. Clavin.

You will by sunup, my lad.

Cut it out, guys.

All right, come on.
We'd better toodle along now.

All right, come on.

You know, I understand that,
Norm, the brain stays alive

long after the body's
lying in a coffin.

CLIFF:
Yeah, poor desperate soul
in there trying to scream out,

"Don't bury me!
I'm not dead yet!"

NORM:
And all they can muster

is one final
frantic gurgle.

Oh, the gurgle!

Listen for that
gurgle, Woody.

You listen for
that gurgle.

Hey, you guys are just
trying to scare me, right?

Forget it.
I got a job to do.

I've got a ring to pay for.
Get out.

(gurgling voice):
Good night!

See ya!
Good night, Mr. Peterson,
Mr. Clavin.

(gurgling voice):
Want to take a cab?

Oh, man, buried alive.
Give me a break!

REBECCA
(echoey voice):
Woody!

Will someone let
me out of here?!

(screaming)

Mr. Peterson! Mr. Clavin!

Excuse me, miss.

I've been sent
to collect some specimens.

Oh, they're sitting over there
on the other side of the bar.

No, I'm from
the insurance company.

I need to do a blood sample
on each employee.

Oh. Well, he works here.
Take him first.

MAN:
Fine.

Shall we go?

Yeah. What, uh, part
of the body do you need

to take blood from?

Any part that's
soft and fleshy.

Well, have I got
a treat for you!

Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late.

Woody, man,
you look terrible!

Yeah, I came straight
from the graveyard.

This is the
worst night yet.

Why was that,
there, Wood?

Well, a couple of guys
called in sick,

and then, uh, we couldn't seem

to bury old Mrs. Jane Van Der
Hooven, beloved wife and mother.

It was like she didn't
want to go down.

First the backhoe broke,

and we had to dig
the hole by hand.

And then the ground
was frozen

and, uh, broke the handle
on the shovel.

And then the coffin
kept popping open.

You...

You never get used
to that, Sam.

I don't suppose
you do.

And then when
we finally buried

old Mrs. Jane Van Der Hooven,
beloved wife and mother,

there was, uh, this strange
gurgling sound and...

I knew it was probably just old
Gus finishing his shake, but...

uh, you don't want
to take chances

on something like that.

So, I had to dig her up

and check it.

What a night.

I don't think you're
gonna make it, man.

This job's gonna kill you.

WOODY:
Oh, Sam,
I gotta earn

enough money
to pay for the ring.

(sobbing)

It helps to do that
every now and then.

Thank you, Mr. Peterson.

Who's next?

How about you?

No, uh, actually
I don't work here.

I'm just one of the moms
in the neighborhood

who comes in to help out.

Take him.

Woody, wake up.

The man's waiting for you.

Do you work here?

WOODY:
Yeah. I'm sorry
I'm late.

Let's go take
some blood.

Just for being late?

Well, that's the
toughest job I ever had.

Man, no way I'm gonna
let that quack jab me.

Carla, there's really
nothing to be afraid of.

It's, it's a very
simple process.

H-Here. Let
me show you.

Darling, may I?

They'll simply take your arm.

They'll have you make a fist.

Then they'll place
a tourniquet here,

exposing a vein.

Exposing a vein...

Lilith, exactly
how do you work?

WOODY: All right,
where's my money?

MAN:
What?

Come on, come on,
you know the routine.

I-I-I did this earlier.

I give you blood,
you give me money.

You gave blood
already today?

WOODY:
I didn't give it--
I sold it.

Hey, I got a ring
to pay for, damn you.

FRASIER:
Woody, are you saying
that after four days

of virtually no sleep at all,
you gave blood today twice?

Is that bad?

Yes! The body can't take
that kind of punishment.

You're suffering from a lack
of blood and a lack of sleep.

My God, I'm surprised
you're not hallucinating.

Huh. Don't worry about me,
Dr. Crane. I'm fine.

I just need a little sleep

before that party
tomorrow night.

Huh! Hallucinating.

Woody. Why aren't you
dressed for the party?

What party?

Who are you?

Why am I covered
with ants?!

Hey, Kelly.
What happened?

I thought the party
was tomorrow night.

Oh, Woody, didn't you tell them?

I called you days ago and told
you there was a change in plans.

Don't you remember?

Well, I remember
you called me days ago,

and I remember you said
there was a change in plans.

But I don't know what
you're talking about.

But, okay, let's go.

All right, pal.
Pal, pal.

You're not in any condition
to go to this party.

I have to go, Sam.

I can't disappoint Kelly.

She's the woman I love.

Which one is she, Sam?

Sit down here,
Woody.

Uh, why don't we catch up
with you?

It'll give Woody a chance
to change his clothes

and pull himself together.

Actually, Sam,

that's probably
a good idea.
Yeah.

Woody is acting kind
of out of it tonight.

I mean, he's fumbling around

like he doesn't know where he is
or what he's talking about.

Have you two met?

I'll see you
soon, Woody.

Here you go, Woody.

Whoa, whoa-hoa-hoa.
Here.

Come on,
come on, come on.

Pull yourself together.
Have some coffee.

Boy, it's true
what they say.

Caffeine does
get you going.

Uh, I figure I've got
about a half hour

to make a good impression

before my skin
starts to blister.

You know...

Uh-uh-uh.

Keep your distance.

I'm not afraid to use
this thing, you know.

Oh, for
heaven's sake.

Look, allow me.

Perhaps I can be of
some assistance.

Carla, Carla,
please.

Now let's just...

Look into my eyes.

Listen very carefully
to every word I say.

All he's going to do is
plunge this large-bore needle

into your tissue

until it reaches a vein,

at which point the
beating of your heart

will cause your blood
to gush into this vial,

filling it
with a viscous,
crimson syrup.

(moaning gasp)

(body thuds)

There you go.
Top her off.

Thank you.
My pleasure.

SAM:
How're you
doing, pal?

WOODY:
Oh, fine, Sam.

That nap in the car

on the way over
really helped.

I got my second wind.

Woody...

good to see you.

WOODY:
Oh. Good to see you, too,
Mr. Gaines, sir.

Uh, how do you do,
Mr. Gaines? I'm Sam...

No, don't introduce
yourself to me.

Oh, that's right.
We've met.

No. I just don't
care who you are.

Delicious.
Mmm. Mmm.

Oh.

I see you gentlemen
are enjoying the
smoked tongue.

Ugh!

Look at us, Cliff.

All the years
of pretzels

and potato chips at
the bar have ruined us.

Finally get a chance to
broaden our horizons a bit,

educate our palate,
what do we do?

We act like a couple
of bar goons

at a rich
man's party.
Hey, Norm.

(barking)

Woody, I'm so
glad you're here.

Grandmother can't
wait to meet you.

And I can't wait
to meet her, Kelly Gaines.

Is he okay?

Yeah, he's fine.
He's just, uh,

been working
24 hours a day

for the past four days.

Is that a lot?

I'm not part of
the work force.

KELLY:
Oh, look. There's
grandmother now.

Oh, my God, Sam.

Save me.
What? What?

It's Mrs. Jane Van
Der Hooven,

beloved wife
and mother.

Who?

WOODY:
The dead woman

from last night.

I could never
forget her face.

Oh, come on, Woody.

I should know. I dug
her up three times.

Hey, Woody,
Woody, Woody.

Stop it, man.

You're hallucinating.
No.

Remember what Frasier
said about lack of sleep?

That's her, Sam.
No. Woody,

it is, it is
Kelly's grandmother.

No. Check her head for
a shovel-shaped dent.

I'm not saying we did it,
but, okay, it was late,

and we got a
little careless.

Why are you
interrogating me?

I'm not on trial here.
Shh.

You're Woody Boyd,
aren't you?

See, Sam?
She remembers me.
Oh...

Kelly has told me
so much about you.

So you're interested
in getting married.

Perhaps you and I should
have a little talk--

in private.

That's a good idea.

We should sit down
and do that sometime.

Well, no time
like the present.

Why don't you join
me in the library?

Right in here.

Tell my parents
I love them.

NORM:
All right, buddy.

I've got one.
I've got one.

Little Orphan Annie.

CLIFF:
Oh...

that's a good one, Normie,
but I didn't see it

'cause I've got cataracts.

Hey, hey, guys,
look at his.

(growling)

Oh, Sammy,

come on. Tongue
jokes were funny

like a half hour ago.

Don't just stand
there, young man.

Come on and sit down beside me.

Are you cold?

I'm freezing.

I seem to be cold all the time
these days.

(wry chuckle)

Feel my hand.

If you don't mind,
I'd rather not.

Are you afraid of me,
young man?

What? Me?
Yeah.

Scared? You?

(laughs)
Never!

What crazy talk.

Oh!

Well, I can't think
of any reason

why a fine, young, strong,
healthy, young man like you

should be afraid
of a helpless, old lady like me,

unless it's because you tried
to bury me alive last night.

(moans)
(screams)

(moans)

What?

Come on, I was
kidding, man.

What are you
doing?

Sam, I hit her
with a shovel

and she's come back
for me.

What?!

And you fell for it.

Mother, what are
you talking about?

(laughs)

I was just having fun
with the young man.

I got the idea

when I heard that he was
working in the graveyard.

It was just too rich
to pass up.

Wait a minute.

How-how'd you find
out about that?

Oh, that's the wonderful thing
about a hearing aid.

When you turn it up, you can
hear all kinds of things.

Incidentally,

Elliott, you're out of the will.

Sorry, Elliott.

You mean this was
all a joke?

That's right.

Well, you crazy old...
Hey, hey, hey, Wood...

KELLY:
Woody, what
are you doing?!

That's it, Woody.
Get him out of here.

Hold it!

(clears throat)

This young man,

this young man
may be gullible--

oh, well, let's
be honest, slow--

but he had the backbone
to stand up to me,

which no one else
in the family

has ever had
the courage to do.

I think you're going to
be very good for Kelly.

In fact, I think you're going
to be good for all of us.

I give you my blessing.

Welcome to the family.

Now, let's eat.

Can I go to sleep now?

Sure.

Say, uh, Rebecca,

for ten bucks I'll tell you
how to get even with Carla,

for closing you
up in the wall.

Okay.

Here's her purse.

Toss it back
into the duct.

When she goes in after it,

screw the vent cover
back on.
Oh,

that's a good idea.

Whoo!

(laughs)
Whoa!

Wait a minute.

That's my purse.
Oh!

I'm sorry.
Oh...

God.

(straining)