All language subtitles for Cheers.S10E13.DVDRiP.XViD-MACRO

Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.

Hey, guys.

I brought in
some leftover birthday cake

from the party.

Thought you might like
to share it.

Whose birthday--
one of your kids?

Yeah, right.
You see a file in it?

Today happens to be
Elvis Presley's birthday.

Celebrating the
birthday of a dead guy?

That's kind of
ghoulish, isn't it?

I don't know how you could
stomach something like that.

It's double mocha
chocolate fudge.

Long live the King.

Those of us who keep the faith
believe that on this day

he's going to make
his presence known.

Yeah, uh, how's
he going to do that?

CARLA:
Well, it could be
anything--

song on the radio,
whisper in the wind,

just something
that unmistakably says "Elvis."

(belches)

The early Elvis.

(theme song begins)

# Making your way
in the world today #

# Takes everything you've got #

# Taking a break
from all your worries #

# Sure would help a lot #

# Wouldn't you like
to get away? #

# Sometimes you want to go #

# Where everybody
knows your name #

# And they're always
glad you came #

# You wanna be
where you can see #

# Our troubles
are all the same #

# You wanna be where
everybody knows your name #

# You wanna go
where people know #

# People are all the same #

# You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. #

Ah, good afternoon,
Miss Tortelli.

Oh, Hill.

What, are you on
an ugly break?

Oh, my.
Someone certainly got up

on the wrong side of town
this morning.

What's the matter, Hill,
your scalp on too tight?

Very funny.

Free this evening?

Just get it
through your hairy ears,

whatever happened
between us

was strictly
a seven-night stand.

Oh...

You're forgetting...

All right, seven nights, two
lunch breaks, and a bus ride.

I love slumming with you.

Well, just
forget it.

Today is Elvis' birthday,
and I'm not interested.

Get out of here.

Okay, but if you change
your mind,

you know where you can get me.

Good Lord,
do you know where to get me.

Woof!

I can't believe it.

What is it, Sam?

(clearing throat):
Oh...

Tony, my hairstylist--

he's making a left on Boylston
and this bus cut him off.

Car jumped the curb,

and he slammed into
this hot dog stand

and ended up in the
middle of the pond

in the public
gardens.

He's at the hospital now
with two broken legs.

Got to cancel my
hair appointment.

I hate it when stuff
like that happens to me.

(door opens)

Greetings, all.

I have a brief
announcement.

You may recall last year

I brought in
my dysfunctional men's group.

Well, unfortunately,

my low self-esteem group
heard about it

and now they think
they're not good enough.

So you're bringing them here?

Well, I'd like the group
to get used to a normal,

healthy, social environment.

So you're bringing them here?

Look, all I'm asking, guys,

is that you treat them
as if they were at home.

You know, they've all been
wounded and they're vulnerable,

and, well, the truth is,

you'll never find
a sadder group of people.

Oh, yeah?

How about
the Donner party?

Well, you know, they-they
got lost in the mountains

and had to watch
their limbs freeze off

while they ate each other.

Well, you caught me.

Cannibalism is sadder
than low self-esteem.

Carla, what's
the date?

Don't you know?

(chuckling):
Rebecca, on this date

in 1935,
Elvis Aaron Presley was born.

A man who was destined

to change the shape
of popular music.

A man who captured
the hearts of America.

A man who,
through his music...

Can I have my drink?

...taught us all
the meaning of love.

Listen, I have
a question for you, Tony.

Uh, are your arms broken
as well,

or is it j-just the legs?

Just the legs are shattered.

(quietly):
All right!

Say, all right, Tony,

maybe if I showed up there
with some scissors

I could lean over the bed
and y... Tony?

Tony, don't-don't pass out
on me, man.

Hello?

Who's this?

You're his nurse?

Ah, great.

Listen, honey, do you
cut hair by any chance?

Hello? Shoot!

I hate this.

I can hear the little hairs
scraping along my collar.

Can you hear that,
or is that just me?

Hey, Sam, why don't you
let me cut your hair?

(laughs)

(snorts)

That's cute, man,
that's very funny.

Took my mind off
my hair there
for a minute.

No, Sam, I'm serious.

I-I'm pretty good at it.

I cut Dr. Crane's
hair once.

Yes, uh, he did, and I must say
he did an excellent job.

No, I don't know,
Woody, I don't know.

Sam, look, all right,

let me just trim the back,
just to get it off the collar

so you don't have
to listen to it.

So we don't have
to listen to it.

SAM:
All right, just
the back, though.

This is what
we're gonna need:

sterile
tungsten steel scissors,

English bone comb,
36 to 39 tines,

and a conditioner
with a pro-vitamin

B-5 keratin complex.

Got that?

And this little
tool of the trade.

Take the bowl
off the head.

(laughing):
Sam, it's just a
little barber humor.

(chuckles)

Come on!

No, it's, like, uh...

All right, what do
you say to someone

who just had their
ears lowered?

Oh, darn, I blew the joke.

All right...

Step down.

Step down.

Step down.

Hi.

Wouldn't you know,
it's always the one that
talks big in the office.

Oh, that's right,
that's his ride. Oh.

Well, all right, uh,
the rest of you, uh, mingle.

(chuckles)

No, no. Boys,
what we're doing
here is huddling.

You do know the difference
between huddling and mingling?

(mumbling):
I know how to mingle.

I just don't want to mingle
with people I don't know.

Yes, that's right, Lester.
(chuckles)

Frasier, I didn't
quite catch that.

Truth be told, neither did I.

I haven't understood a thing
the poor sap's said in years.

LILITH:
Frasier,

I must restate my objection
to your bringing them here.

As I've said previously,
this is an extremely risky

and somewhat
frivolous experiment,

which could have
negative repercussions.

Oh, Wilma, loosen up
the bone a little!

This is an uncontrolled
environment

which could easily
get out of hand.

And who's this Wilma?

Are you sure you know
what you're doing?

I think so.

Oh, is that some
of your barber humor?

Come on, lighten up, Sam!

Say, where's your
sense of humor, man?

Whoo!

Airplane ride?

Whoo!

Don't, don't do that.

Round trip? Whoo!

So...

you from around here?

Woody...

just get to it,
will you, please?

Hey, suit yourself.
Same price.

(shaver buzzing)

It's all right, Sam. Okay.

So, uh, you're the guys
with low self-esteem, huh?

Yeah, well, luckily,
I don't have that problem.

But then again, how could I?

What, with a cerebral cortex

that's eight percent larger
than the average human's.

Don't look--
you can't tell.

E-Excuse me, do you wear
that mailman uniform every day?

Yes, I do.

And proudly.

Do you live with your mother?

Well, uh... yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, guys, it's Mr. X.

Uh, gentlemen, let me
show you the pool room.

(chuckles)
Quickly.

(quietly):
That's the guy...

Come along.

And that must be
Mr. X's fat friend,

Mr. Y, at the end
of the bar!

(shaver buzzing)

(bubblegum pops)

(shaver turns off)

Oops.

What do you mean, "oops"?

What's going on back there?

Oh, nothing, Sam.

Uh, say, when you came in,

did you have...
gum in your hair?

No. Why?

No reason.

I'm just trying to pass
the time of day.

Aw...

Damn it, Woody, you got gum
in my hair, didn't you?

Uh, no, no. Here, here.

(shaver buzzing)
There.

Out.

What's it look like?

It's got a lot of hair in it.

Give me that other mirror.

Give me the other mirror, Woody!

SAM:
Woody!

Want to go over and say hi,
make 'em feel more at home?

I don't know, those
guys are wrapped up
pretty tight.

Who knows how loony
they could get?

They might be dangerous.

They might buy us a beer.

I'll do anything
to promote mental health.

So, uh, Wynken,
Blynken and Nod...

I know they're alive.

I can hear
them breathing.

Rebecca, give us
a pitcher, will you?

(all chatting and laughing)

So... uh, what are we
talking about here?

Oh, I'm sorry, Dr. Crane.

We were kind of making
fun of somebody.

Oh, no. No need
to be sorry.

Listen, it's a
perfectly healthy sign.

It, it means that

you're interacting,

that you're feeling
better about yourselves.

So, uh, what were you
saying about this poor sap?

(laughter)

That he's a pompous fool.

Oh, Cliff is just
trying to fit in.

We weren't talking
about Cliff.

We were talking
about you... "egghead."

(laughter)

Me?

Hey, remember the time
Fras fell asleep,

and we, we put his hand
in that warm glass of water?

That's the first time
I ever saw that work.

Okay, we can
stop this now.

Hey, remember that time Carla
put the green,

uh, marble
in his martini glass?

Carla did that?

I broke a crown.

Well, how about the time he,
he leaned over his mai tai

and, uh, poked his eye
with the umbrella.

Look, there is nothing amusing
about corneal abrasion.

How about the time at
group when he leaned back

in his chair to make
a dramatic gesture

and he got stuck in
the venetian blinds.

NORM:
He did?!

Now that's funny.

No it's not.

Did you hear that? He
said, "No, it's snot."

Oh, this is not
therapy.

This is just
childish abuse.

So we put an end
to it right here.

This, this session
is over,

right now.

Remember, it's a fee
and a half...

because it's a field trip.

Gee, maybe we should
go apologize to him.

He's charging you
a fee and a half,

and you want to apologize?

Well, what should we do?

Pants him.

CLIFF:
There you go.
Yeah.

Yeah, let's pants him!

Let's go for it!
Pants him.

(chanting):
Pants him. Pants him.

Pants him. Pants him.
Pants him. Pants him...

Hey, Sam.

Hey, Sam, I hope
you're not still mad at me

about that haircut thing.

Nice hat, by the way.

You know, my cousin Elmore had
a hunting cap just like that.

Of course he decorated
it with deer antlers.

Big mistake.

Sam... why aren't
you talking to me?

Sam?

CLIFF:
Woody?

I think he's
ignoring you.

Is that true, Sam?

You know for a minute there
I thought I heard something.

A little tiny voice of
a nothing jerk bartender.

Me?

I think I was wrong.

I think it was just a tiny
little insignificant bug.

Well, that's very
funny Sam,

but it's not a tiny little
insignificant bug.

It's your assistant
bartender-- good old Woody.

I think I got it.

I can't believe it.

I'm being shunned.

Just like back in Hanover.

Just like with the Amish.

NORM:
Wood?

Who, uh, who shunned
you back in Hanover?

The Amish. Weren't you here
for this part?

Please, miss,
can I just have my beer?

All right. I'm gonna
give you one last chance,
and this is a gimme.

What was the year of Elvis'
big comeback special?

'72.

You're pathetic.

Hey, I paid for that beer.

Well, then I guess you
just should have studied, huh?

I hope we weren't
too hard on Fras.

Well, his being ridiculed
in here is one thing,

but out in public, that's
got to be humiliating.

I know what you're saying.
Yeah.

You know,
when I was a kid,

I was the first one
in my class to...

you know, develop breasts.

They teased me the whole year.

Oh, yeah, me, too.

Yeah, I took my fair share
of ribbing back in Hanover.

Yeah?

"Little Einstein"
they called me.

"Mr. Smarty Pants."

"Brainiac."

Yep. I've heard 'em all.

Before I die, I got
to see that town.

So what about you, Cliff?

Well, sorry
I can't help you.

Happy childhood.

Well-adjusted, well-liked.

Class valedictorian.

I'd show you
my yearbook,

but Ma apparently thought

some of the inscriptions
were off-color.

So she made me eat it.

Nope. No problems here.

Hey, Fras.

Don't "Hey Fras" me.

After the way you people
behaved today,

you're lucky I am even
speaking to you.

How dare you treat me like that
in front of my patients!

I have been your friend,
your confidante,

your unpaid therapist
for years.

And how do you show
your gratitude?

By humiliating me,
by making me a...

a laughingstock.

Come on, Fras, those guys
were scared stiff of you.

That's why they weren't
getting anywhere.

We were just trying to bring
you down a peg, you know?

Yeah, come on, Fras,
you've got to admit, uh,

sometimes you get up
on that high horse of yours.

High horse?!
Well, I never.

Oh, God,
Lilith was right.

Bringing those
patients here

was the worst thing I've
ever done in my life.

This entire affair has been
an unmitigated disaster.

Hey look, there's Dr. Crane.

Dr. Crane.

We figured out what you
were doing today,

and thanks.

I beg your pardon?

Well, you were
letting us

do all that stuff
to you just so we

could feel better
about ourselves.

What a guy.

You know, you've really
got to care

to go that far.

How about that.

They have
figured it out.

(chuckles)

This is the best
group we ever had.

(laughing):
Yeah, well...

(mumbling):
...genius.
Oh, well,

I wouldn't really
say "genius," Lester.

That is what you said, isn't it?

Gentlemen, good night.

Good night.
Thank you,
Dr. Crane.

You've all made wonderful
progress today.

Thank you,
Dr. Crane.
Thank you very much.

You know, maybe in
a hundred years,

they'll be able to
walk through a mall.

FRASIER:
Bye.

So, you all caught
a little glimpse

into the life of
Frasier Crane...

M.D., PhD.

Try not to think of
me any differently

now that you've
witnessed my unique gift.

You see, although I wasn't
completely aware of it,

I intuited
what those men needed

and I gave it to them,
freely and of myself...

for I am a healer.

That is what I do.

And we
are pantsers.

That is
what we do.

Oh, no.

No, fellas, not again.

No, no, these
are new pants!

Sam, I've really
enjoyed the way

you've been pretending
I'm a bug and everything.

But I'm not a
bug; I'm Woody.

Sam, where I come from,
we have a saying,

"An eye for an eye."

The point being,
of course,

you're supposed
to shave my head,

not shave out my eye.

(buzzing)

Oh, man.

This is stupid.
(buzzing stops)

I don't want
to cut your hair.

You don't?

No.

So you forgive me?

Yeah, let's just just forget
about the whole thing,

all right?

That... that is
real noble, Sam.

I mean, here I wrecked
your hair,

your... your beautiful,
beautiful hair,

the one thing you care most
about in the whole world,

and yet, you're willing
to forgive me.

I mean, you know,

every time you look
in the mirror,

you're gonna be reminded
of what I did to you,

and yet, you say
it's okay.

I have never
liked you more

than I do
right now, Sam...

ridiculous haircut
and all.

Woody, come in the
office with me,

just for a second.

Sure, why?

No reason.

(buzzing)

Carla, it's almost
midnight-- any sign?

(sighs)

Not one
blue suede shoe.

I guess Elvis
has disappointed me again.

Well, I'm sure the King
had a lot of other people

to visit around the world.

Yeah, well, he isn't
showing up here

or anywhere else tonight.

(blowing)

Uh, I have flowers
for a Miss Tortelli.

That's me.

Here you go.

Oh. Thanks.

"Carla,

"I wonder if you're
lonesome tonight.

The King."

(gasps)
Oh, my God.

Oh!

I knew it.

I knew... I knew
he'd come through.

I knew he wouldn't let me down.

But just a minute ago, you know,
you started to doubt that...

I did not doubt.
I never doubted.

I'm going home, Becs.

I'm going home.
I'm gonna stay up all night.

I'm gonna listen to every record
Elvis ever made,

even "In the Ghetto."

Uh, Miss Howe, did Miss Tortelli
get the flowers?

Yes, she did.

In fact, she just
ran up the stairs.
Ah.

Did you send those?

Yes, I did,

but those were just
for starters.

This will really push her
over the edge.

(buzzing)

(door opening)

Woody, what was that buzzing?

Sam, with the razor.

Well, your hair
looks the same.

It's the only hair I have left.