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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,768 --> 00:00:04,470 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:12,078 --> 00:00:14,013 (alarm chirps) 3 00:00:15,415 --> 00:00:18,350 (alarm blaring) 4 00:00:18,418 --> 00:00:21,353 (alarm chirps) 5 00:00:21,421 --> 00:00:25,190 (alarm blaring) 6 00:00:25,291 --> 00:00:26,959 (alarm chirps) 7 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,061 (alarm blaring) 8 00:00:29,129 --> 00:00:30,295 (alarm chirps) 9 00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:36,368 This never gets old. 10 00:00:36,436 --> 00:00:39,571 (alarm blaring) 11 00:00:41,841 --> 00:00:43,709 (theme song begins) 12 00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:48,347 # Making your way in the world today # 13 00:00:48,415 --> 00:00:51,483 # Takes everything you've got # 14 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:54,086 # Taking a break from all your worries # 15 00:00:54,154 --> 00:00:57,423 # Sure would help a lot # 16 00:00:57,490 --> 00:01:01,360 # Wouldn't you like to get away? # 17 00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:05,364 # Sometimes you want to go # 18 00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:09,368 # Where everybody knows your name # 19 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:15,341 # And they're always glad you came # 20 00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,976 # You wanna be where you can see # 21 00:01:18,044 --> 00:01:20,646 # Our troubles are all the same # 22 00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:24,550 # You wanna be where everybody knows your name # 23 00:01:25,985 --> 00:01:28,454 # You wanna go where people know # 24 00:01:28,521 --> 00:01:30,789 # People are all the same # 25 00:01:30,857 --> 00:01:35,127 # You wanna go where everybody knows your name. # 26 00:01:53,646 --> 00:01:55,381 Doctor Crane, can you help me with somethin'? 27 00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:56,448 Of course, Woody. 28 00:01:56,516 --> 00:01:59,018 You know, uh, yesterday was mine 29 00:01:59,085 --> 00:02:01,487 and Kelly's third anniversary of goin' steady. 30 00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:02,755 And, uh, 31 00:02:02,889 --> 00:02:04,823 I gave her a dinky keychain, 32 00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:08,127 so she goes and gives me this $300 camera. 33 00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:09,962 So, my problem is... 34 00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:11,630 Say no more about it, Woody. 35 00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:13,732 If I were you, I wouldn't let Kelly's fine present 36 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,100 cause you any guilt. 37 00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:16,335 I mean, after all, she comes 38 00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:17,836 from a very privileged background 39 00:02:17,904 --> 00:02:20,673 while you're a, an unsophisticated working man 40 00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,741 who has nary two dimes to rub together. 41 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,077 You know, these kinds of relationships 42 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,146 rarely make it through a third year. 43 00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:30,149 Actually, I just wanted to know 44 00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:32,284 how to work the automatic flash. 45 00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:37,289 But now I just want to go someplace and cry. 46 00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:39,324 Frasier, 47 00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:41,026 I've got to run. 48 00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:43,662 I'm having my photograph taken for a new I.D. badge 49 00:02:43,763 --> 00:02:44,997 at the lab. 50 00:02:45,065 --> 00:02:47,533 Are you gonna get your hair done for that? 51 00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:49,868 Why on earth should I? 52 00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:53,305 Well, at least get the tension on that bun checked. 53 00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:56,041 I mean, if that baby goes, we're all dead. 54 00:02:57,877 --> 00:03:00,479 That hardly seems just coming from a woman 55 00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:02,314 whose hair has never seen a greasy pot 56 00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:04,983 it couldn't scrub clean. 57 00:03:06,286 --> 00:03:07,419 Watch it, babe! 58 00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:08,520 Ooh, I'm outta here. 59 00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:10,723 Now, now, girls, girls, 60 00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:12,391 there's no reason to insult each other. 61 00:03:12,459 --> 00:03:15,794 No matter how on the nose either of you might be. 62 00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,200 Frasier, 63 00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:23,035 do you think I should change my hair? 64 00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:26,372 You're asking me? 65 00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:28,340 Just a second, dear. 66 00:03:29,442 --> 00:03:31,377 Uh-oh, I'm in big trouble. 67 00:03:31,444 --> 00:03:32,878 If I tell her to change, 68 00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:34,013 she'll assume that I'm disappointed 69 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,047 with the way she looks. 70 00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:36,582 On the other hand, 71 00:03:36,649 --> 00:03:38,917 if I say it's fine as it is, she'll think I don't care. 72 00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:40,085 You know, Lilith, 73 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,487 you should do with 74 00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:43,989 those raven tresses whatever pleases you. 75 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:46,225 Because, my angel, if you're happy, I'm happy. 76 00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:47,159 You're chicken. 77 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:49,161 But happy. 78 00:03:49,262 --> 00:03:51,897 For heaven sake, take a stand! 79 00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:53,732 Just a second, dear. 80 00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:56,835 She's goin' to the mat on this one. 81 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:59,738 Why don't you just tell her to get her hair changed? 82 00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:01,473 Perhaps you're right. 83 00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:03,475 You know, she probably wants 84 00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:05,477 to change herself in some way, but, uh, 85 00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:07,546 doesn't have the confidence to just let go. 86 00:04:07,614 --> 00:04:09,982 Lilith, I think you should restyle. 87 00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,550 You know, to tell the truth, there is a, 88 00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:13,419 a part of me that would, 89 00:04:13,486 --> 00:04:16,288 would like to see a-a little change in your appearance. 90 00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:17,723 Why? 91 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:20,059 Because you've secretly hated the way I've looked 92 00:04:20,126 --> 00:04:22,961 all these years and haven't had the guts to tell me? 93 00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:26,165 Just a second, dear. 94 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:31,003 Taxi! 95 00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:35,240 That's exactly why I never got married. 96 00:04:35,308 --> 00:04:37,242 Oh, is that why, Cliff? 97 00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:39,244 Yeah, that's why. 98 00:04:41,481 --> 00:04:43,248 Mornin', everybody. 99 00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:44,383 EVERYONE: Norm! 100 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:45,484 Hey, what's goin' on, Normie? 101 00:04:45,585 --> 00:04:47,119 It's my birthday, Sammy. 102 00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:49,121 Give me a beer, stick a candle in it. 103 00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:51,557 And I'll blow out my liver. 104 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:52,925 Hey, it's his birthday. 105 00:04:52,992 --> 00:04:54,226 Did ya hear that? EVERYONE: Happy birthday, Norm! 106 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,561 I just want the day 107 00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:57,496 to come and go just like any other day. 108 00:04:57,597 --> 00:04:59,932 Uh-huh. I think you can pull that off. 109 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,367 Well, Norm, you know, despite the fact 110 00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:03,202 that you don't want to make a big fuss out of it, 111 00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:05,437 we all, uh, chipped in and got ya somethin'. 112 00:05:05,505 --> 00:05:07,106 Now what is it that, uh, 113 00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:09,108 you want more than anything else in the world? 114 00:05:09,175 --> 00:05:10,476 Another beer. 115 00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:12,578 CLIFF: Close your eyes there, Mr. Peterson. 116 00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:18,951 Yay! Oh, guys! 117 00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:20,252 Yay! 118 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,221 What could it be? 119 00:05:22,288 --> 00:05:23,856 Let me see. 120 00:05:23,923 --> 00:05:25,290 (gasps) It's a beer! 121 00:05:25,358 --> 00:05:28,160 Thank you, guys. 122 00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:29,361 Thank you. 123 00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:32,064 Hey, I got you a very, 124 00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:34,066 very special gift, my friend. 125 00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:35,300 More special than a free beer? 126 00:05:35,368 --> 00:05:36,335 Yeah. Come here. 127 00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:37,636 Is it a keg and a snorkel? 128 00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:38,737 (laughs) 129 00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:40,139 Come, stand right here. 130 00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:42,274 Now I know what a big fan of the Celtics you are, so... 131 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,209 (knocking on door) here's your present. 132 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,113 (Sam chuckles) 133 00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:51,183 Kevin McHale? 134 00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:58,190 Sammy, I love the guy, 135 00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:00,426 but, uh, I know where to draw the line, you know? 136 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,327 No, no, no, no, no, okay, 137 00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:03,662 he's just deliverin' it. Come on, Kevin. 138 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,464 Norm, Sammy tells me 139 00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:06,999 what a big fan you are of the team, 140 00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:09,001 so on behalf of myself and the Celtics, 141 00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:10,703 I'd like you to have this team jacket. Oh, 142 00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,738 all ri... Thanks, man. Happy birthday! 143 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:14,340 All right! Have a happy... 144 00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:15,474 Look at this. Ah, hey. 145 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:16,909 Hey. Smile. 146 00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,510 WOODY: Hey, whoa, whoa, smile. 147 00:06:18,611 --> 00:06:20,546 (camera shutter clicks) 148 00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:22,848 Sam, how do you work the flash on this? 149 00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:24,350 I got my hands full here, Woody. 150 00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:25,517 Oh! 151 00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:27,853 (glass shattering) 152 00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:32,191 All right! 153 00:06:32,258 --> 00:06:34,226 What a birthday, huh? 154 00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:35,894 A free beer, 155 00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:38,297 a Celtics jacket from Kevin McHale, 156 00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:40,366 and Sammy wipi'' out my bar tab. Hey, 157 00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:42,801 whoa, whoa, whoa. 158 00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:45,304 I didn't say anything about wipin' out a bar tab. 159 00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:47,673 Well, happy birthday to me. 160 00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:50,642 Hey, Sammy? Yeah. 161 00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:51,977 I came through with that jacket for Norm. 162 00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:53,946 Where's that autographed Red Sox baseball you got for me? 163 00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:55,381 Oh, right, right. I'll be, I'll be right back. 164 00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:56,648 All right. 165 00:06:56,716 --> 00:06:58,450 Is it almost ready? 166 00:06:58,518 --> 00:06:59,485 Yeah. 167 00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:00,552 How many G's in Boggs? 168 00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:01,954 Two. 169 00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:03,389 Is that all? 170 00:07:03,456 --> 00:07:04,890 Doesn't look right. Shh. 171 00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:07,226 Hey. 172 00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:08,627 All right. 173 00:07:08,695 --> 00:07:09,962 Thank you, Sam. Let me use 174 00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:11,163 the phone, all right? Yeah, anytime. Anytime. 175 00:07:11,297 --> 00:07:12,664 Normie? Yeah. 176 00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:14,767 Even though I, uh, chipped in for the beer with the guys, 177 00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:16,969 Mm-hmm. I also got you a little special gift. 178 00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,370 Yeah? What's that? 179 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,372 Well, uh, I did some research on the, uh, 180 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,608 historical significance of birthdays. 181 00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:24,610 Uncovered a lot of interesting facts 182 00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:26,278 and, uh... 183 00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:29,314 I'm not gonna share 'em with ya. 184 00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:31,283 Oh, Cliff, man. Happy birthday, big guy. 185 00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:34,319 Say, Kevin, 186 00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:36,488 you know, uh, my birthday's comin' up pretty soon. 187 00:07:36,556 --> 00:07:38,657 Maybe you could come back and deliver somethin' for me. 188 00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:39,992 Oh, would you like a jacket, too? 189 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:40,993 Yeah, right. 190 00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:42,594 A jacket! 191 00:07:45,498 --> 00:07:49,101 Well, guys, I feel like I own a little bit of Celtic history. 192 00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:50,402 Some of my fondest 193 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,771 memories as a boy are going down to the Garden. 194 00:07:52,839 --> 00:07:55,674 Yeah. Being in the same building as all my heroes. 195 00:07:55,775 --> 00:07:57,376 Sittin' there next to my dad 196 00:07:57,444 --> 00:07:59,978 and as he ordered beer after beer from the vendor, 197 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,647 sayin' to myself, 198 00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:05,250 "Someday, someday." 199 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:06,552 That's great. 200 00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,721 Ah, the Garden. 201 00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:10,723 Yes, perhaps the most famous 202 00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:12,191 playing surface in all of sports. 203 00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:13,492 Yep. Well, you know, 204 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,127 it's a little known fact that that, uh, 205 00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:17,196 parquet floor is comprised 206 00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:20,232 of 240 individual squares held down 207 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,534 by 2,860 bolts. Uh, 208 00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:23,902 you're wrong there. 209 00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:25,804 It's 2,880 bolts. 210 00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:28,073 And I got that from a member of the bull gang, 211 00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:30,075 the crew that works the floor. 212 00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:31,643 Well, I'm very sorry, Norm, 213 00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:34,013 but my source is unimpeachable. 214 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,047 Yeah? Who's that? 215 00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:37,182 My ma. 216 00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:39,551 Why don't we settle this right now? 217 00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:40,953 I'll call the Garden and find out, huh? 218 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,621 Oh, yeah, yeah. Who're we supposed to talk to, 219 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,690 the guy in charge of bolts? 220 00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:46,959 We've got McHale here. 221 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,193 Why don't we just ask him. 222 00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:49,528 Kevin? Yeah. 223 00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:51,397 Uh, tell this guy how many bolts there are 224 00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:52,731 on the floor of the Garden, please. 225 00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:53,932 Well, I-I've never noticed 226 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,067 any bolts in that floor. 227 00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:56,535 You know, come to think of it, 228 00:08:56,636 --> 00:08:58,404 Bird, Parish, Auerbach, 229 00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:00,205 nobody knows how many bolts are in that floor, huh? 230 00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:01,407 There's a game for ya. Yeah. 231 00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:03,375 Trivia... Hey, stop, stop, stop! 232 00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:05,244 Stop it! Just turn around and run the other way! 233 00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:06,845 What're you talking about? Look, Kevin, 234 00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:08,881 I'm warning you because I love you. 235 00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:11,250 Don't get caught up in one of those conversations. 236 00:09:11,317 --> 00:09:12,618 You'll end up like those guys. 237 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:14,053 They never leave those stools. 238 00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,489 It's a disease, and they're tryin' to hook you. 239 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,091 I knew this guy once 240 00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:21,427 who was a respected psychiatrist. 241 00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,929 It's too late for him, 242 00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:25,898 but you can still save yourself. 243 00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:27,066 Go on. Okay, yeah, yeah, 244 00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:28,434 you're... I got a game in an hour. 245 00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:30,336 Like to talk about those bolts, you guys, but I gotta run. 246 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,337 (overlapping chatter) 247 00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:33,605 Thank God. 248 00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:35,040 Hey, I'll tell you what, though. 249 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:36,475 If you multiply the number of bolts 250 00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:37,910 by number of squares in that thing, 251 00:09:37,977 --> 00:09:39,945 you'd be able to find out how many bolts there were. 252 00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,947 Oh Lord, take him now. 253 00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:49,655 ANNOUNCER (on TV): One minute to go in the game. Here we go! 254 00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:50,923 The Celtics still have a chance to tie it up. 255 00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:52,925 Brings the ball up... Come on, guys. 256 00:09:52,992 --> 00:09:54,593 Frasier... 257 00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:59,965 ...I've just come from the beauty salon. 258 00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:01,400 I asked them to do something 259 00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:02,968 a little different with my hair. 260 00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:04,803 Then you actually went through with it? 261 00:10:04,871 --> 00:10:07,139 My darling, I'm, I'm all anticipation. 262 00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:08,307 I've never seen you out, 263 00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:11,143 but with your by-now trademark chignon. 264 00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:14,146 Thus the change. 265 00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:21,820 What do you think, Frasier? 266 00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:23,856 It's hard to say. 267 00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:36,101 (laughs) 268 00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,738 You're laughing! 269 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,306 (laughing): I'm sorry, dear. 270 00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:42,641 You're taking it all the wrong way. 271 00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:44,143 You see, it was just the initial reaction 272 00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:45,310 of seeing you different and... 273 00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,246 you know, now that I look at it again, it's... 274 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,581 (laughing) 275 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:50,749 Stop laughing. 276 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:51,950 You're hurting my feelings. 277 00:10:52,018 --> 00:10:52,851 I'm sorry. 278 00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:54,787 Your what? 279 00:10:54,854 --> 00:10:56,288 No, no, darling, please, please. 280 00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:57,956 Look, give me another chance. 281 00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:58,991 Please. 282 00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:00,025 Another chance. 283 00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:02,027 Please! 284 00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:04,029 (laughs) 285 00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:09,868 Ten seconds to go, the Celtics down by two on their home court. 286 00:11:09,936 --> 00:11:11,870 McHale's got the ball. 287 00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:13,105 He goes up. Yeah! 288 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,506 He's in the clear. 289 00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:16,675 Oh no! McHale blows the layup! 290 00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:17,843 (game buzzer) 291 00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,011 And that's the game. 292 00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:20,179 The Celtics lose. 293 00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:22,815 Cleveland 102, Boston 100. 294 00:11:22,882 --> 00:11:24,616 I've never seen Kevin play 295 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:25,951 that poorly before in my life. 296 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,252 What was he doin'' out there? 297 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,787 I don't know. I mean, he wasn't even looking' 298 00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:29,755 at the other players. 299 00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:31,156 He was just staring' at the floor 300 00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:31,990 and moving his lips. 301 00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:35,961 I think he was countin'' the bolts on the floor. 302 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,096 No, come on. 303 00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:38,430 He wouldn't do that in the middle of a game. 304 00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:39,231 Hey, look, they're gonna interview Kevin. 305 00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:40,499 Here's Glen. 306 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:42,568 This is Glen Ordway on the floor of the Garden. 307 00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:44,737 We're gonna see if we can catch Kevin McHale, 308 00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:46,138 ask him a couple of questions 309 00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:48,140 and find out exactly what went wrong 310 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,608 out on the floor here tonight. 311 00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:51,276 Uh, here he comes right now. 312 00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:53,679 Uh, Kevin, can I ask you a couple of questions? 313 00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:55,447 Hundred and nine, hundred and ten, 314 00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:57,216 hundred and eleven, hundred and twelve... 315 00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:59,184 Now look what you've done! 316 00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:01,220 You have ruined him! 317 00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:03,422 You've ruined Kevin McHale! 318 00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:04,923 You took the scoring 319 00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:08,260 machine, one of Boston's greatest living sports legends 320 00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:09,695 and turned him into... 321 00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:12,698 one of you! 322 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:18,804 GUYS (chanting): Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin... 323 00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,714 (phone rings) 324 00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:30,749 Cheers. 325 00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:31,917 Yeah, Sammy, this is Kevin. 326 00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:33,485 Hey, Kevin! Hey, Kevin McHale. 327 00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:34,987 OTHERS: Hey, Kevin! 328 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,489 Hey, Sammy, boy, I'm having a rough night. 329 00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:39,725 Yeah, ooh, boy, we caught the game. 330 00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:41,794 Yeah, you really stunk it up out there, huh? 331 00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:43,896 Hey, I saw you pitch. 332 00:12:43,963 --> 00:12:45,698 You're not entitled to an opinion. 333 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,300 You know what it is, though... 334 00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:49,601 it's those bolts. 335 00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:51,303 I tell you, I can't get them out of my mind. 336 00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,372 You know, I've called the people all over town, 337 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,940 and no two people seem to have the same answer. 338 00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,975 Sammy, it's driving me crazy. 339 00:12:57,043 --> 00:12:58,911 Kevin, you, you got to take it easy with this. 340 00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:00,846 I mean, bar trivia can eat you up, pal. 341 00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:03,048 Kevin, it's not too late! Get help! 342 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,149 Don't... 343 00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:05,918 Honey, who's that? 344 00:13:05,985 --> 00:13:07,419 Just the guys down at Cheers. 345 00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:09,922 (sighs) 346 00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:21,300 My motive, of course, was to please Frasier. 347 00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:23,102 But this evening, after dinner, 348 00:13:23,169 --> 00:13:26,472 he laughed so hard, cappuccino ran out of his nose. 349 00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,809 Rebecca, you're a friend. 350 00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:34,947 Does this permanent make my hair look utterly ridiculous? 351 00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:36,782 No, not at all. 352 00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,684 I think it's a delightful change. 353 00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:39,885 So do I. 354 00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:41,320 Damn that Frasier! 355 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:44,590 For a moment, he had me believing I was a laughingstock. 356 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,392 Thank you. 357 00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:48,861 Don't mention it. What're friends for? 358 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:51,730 How can you just stand there, 359 00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:54,933 staring at that hairdo and not bust a gut laughing? 360 00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:57,903 (voice straining): No problem. 361 00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:02,174 Hi, everybody! 362 00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:03,409 Hey, Kevin! 363 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,644 FRASIER: How come you're not in bed, man? 364 00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:07,579 Oh, I couldn't sleep. 365 00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:08,881 You got a big game tomorrow. 366 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:10,416 I don't care. 367 00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:14,219 All I care about are those bolts. 368 00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:16,522 So I ran out and got a set of blueprints to the Garden. 369 00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:19,024 Find out how many bolts there are in that floor right now. 370 00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:21,460 Wait a minute. Where'd you get blueprints this time of night? 371 00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,062 Ah, I know somebody down at City Hall. 372 00:14:23,129 --> 00:14:25,464 Kind of a sports legend in this town, huh? 373 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:26,732 Oh, yeah? Yeah, all right. 374 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,734 Oh, hey, gee, there, I'm sorry, Kevin, 375 00:14:28,802 --> 00:14:30,102 but these are the blueprints 376 00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:31,370 for the new Garden that they're building. 377 00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:32,504 No... Yeah, yeah, you see, 378 00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:35,607 there should be a mailbox right there. 379 00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,476 No, no. 380 00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,211 Oh, give me that phone! I hope the mayor's still up. 381 00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:40,713 Give me that phone. No, no, no. 382 00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,881 I don't think you should do that, man. Don't do that. 383 00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:44,983 Sammy, I'm telling you right now, I got to know. 384 00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,251 I got to know. I'm telling you, nothing, 385 00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:47,653 I mean nothing's going to stop me. 386 00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:49,988 Kevin. 387 00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:52,691 Good night, guys. 388 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,296 You guys should be ashamed of yourselves. 389 00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:58,764 You're like vampires. 390 00:14:58,832 --> 00:15:02,434 Big-butted, do-nothing vampires. 391 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:05,070 And, and now you're trying to make Kevin one of your recruits. 392 00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:06,605 Well, I say it's got to stop. 393 00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,974 I'm not going to let you screw up his career. 394 00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:10,509 Oh, come on, lighten up, will you? 395 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,177 It's just Kevin's getting a little carried away 396 00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:13,345 with bolts, that's all. 397 00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:14,813 Yeah, sure, Sammy. 398 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,248 Today it's how many bolts are in the floor. 399 00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:17,916 Tomorrow they'll have him onto 400 00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:19,885 "If the Brady Bunch crashes in the Andes, 401 00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:22,221 who's going to eat who first?" 402 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,925 Well, they'd probably eat the maid 'cause she ain't kin. 403 00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:31,864 Well, you know, but if they're smart there, 404 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,833 they'll ask her first how she should best prepare herself. 405 00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:38,704 Stop it! 406 00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:39,838 All right, so what do we do? 407 00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:40,873 Well, we'll go down to the Garden 408 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,042 and just count the bolts in the floor, 409 00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:45,244 so we can settle this thing and get Kevin back on his game. 410 00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:46,445 All right? 411 00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:47,513 Well, how are we going to get in there, Sam? 412 00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:48,747 Don't they lock the Garden at night? 413 00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:50,883 Oh, hey, Woody, don't worry about those locks. 414 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,251 We can get past any one of them, 415 00:15:52,318 --> 00:15:53,552 with my trusty Swiss Army Knife. 416 00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,220 (chuckles): Yeah, I got the big one 417 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,123 with the, uh, tweezer-toothpick combo. 418 00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,225 Yeah. That's a beauty, Mr. Clavin. 419 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:01,660 Yeah, thanks, Woody. 420 00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:04,797 Yeah, every soldier in the Swiss Army owns one of these. 421 00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:06,665 That's why nobody messes with Switzerland. 422 00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:09,902 Yeah, I'd rather run buck naked through the neighborhood 423 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,337 than be without this baby. 424 00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:13,672 Why is that always the other option? 425 00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:23,615 (lights buzzing) 426 00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:26,552 Whoa, ho-ho! 427 00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:27,519 WOODY: Are they on? 428 00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:29,555 Uh, yeah! 429 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,557 Look at this, huh? 430 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,258 Boston Garden. 431 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,894 I wake up this morning, thinking my life has no meaning, 432 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,997 and now I'm standing here. 433 00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:40,199 Yeah, it really, really kind of clears things up, 434 00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:41,600 doesn't it, Norm? 435 00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:43,802 No, I'm still pretty sure my life has no meaning, 436 00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:46,138 but I'm standing here. 437 00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,439 (laughs) 438 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,975 Every part of this place is special to me. 439 00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:50,809 Yeah. 440 00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:52,678 It's sacred. 441 00:16:52,746 --> 00:16:54,747 It's holy, you know, like a cathedral. 442 00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:57,516 Think I'll rip a seat out 443 00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:59,184 and throw it in the back of my car, huh? 444 00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,153 Hey, wait a minute... What? What? 445 00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:02,121 Forget that. What? 446 00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:04,289 Hey, Mr. Clavin, I have a question. 447 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:05,624 Yeah, fire away there. 448 00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:08,093 Well, how can they play hockey in here-- there's no ice? 449 00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:10,763 Oh, the ice is, uh, right under the floor there, Woody. 450 00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:12,364 It's under the floor right now? 451 00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:13,365 Absolutely! 452 00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:14,566 Why don't you, uh, pick 453 00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:16,468 one of these things up, have a look-see? 454 00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,237 Here, use my Swiss Army Knife. 455 00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:20,305 Suppose anyone would mind if we shot a few hoops? 456 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:21,740 Hey, where'd you get that? 457 00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:23,642 Out of the trunk of my car since last time I was at the gym. 458 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,010 Let's run the floor. All right! 459 00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:27,746 Here we go! Here we go! 460 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,150 (chuckling): When was the last time you were at the gym? 461 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,418 I don't know. 462 00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:33,619 I used to go to that one next door to Cheers. 463 00:17:33,687 --> 00:17:35,354 There's no gym next door to Cheers. 464 00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:36,288 Yeah, there was. They tore it down. 465 00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:37,389 They put up that bookstore. 466 00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:38,657 There's no bookstore there either. 467 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,726 Oh, they tore that down and they put the bank there. 468 00:17:40,794 --> 00:17:42,261 The bank's been there as long as I can remember. 469 00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:43,829 Well, there you go. 470 00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:46,932 WOODY: Wow! 471 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,967 Well, what have we here? 472 00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:50,703 Looks like plywood. 473 00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:54,039 Oh, great! Hey, I can use the saw. 474 00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:56,008 (thumping) 475 00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:57,943 Oh, great, somebody's coming. 476 00:17:58,011 --> 00:17:59,545 Woody, put, put, put the floor back. 477 00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,146 Come on, let's go. 478 00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:05,951 Woody, come on. Hurry up. 479 00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:09,088 What a day. 480 00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:11,790 First Sammy gets me Kevin McHale's jacket. 481 00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:14,159 Then I get to sneak around the Garden. 482 00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:16,595 Even look at the plywood under the floor. 483 00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:18,731 Now we're getting chased off by security guards. 484 00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:20,299 (laughs) 485 00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:21,967 I'm sorry, guys. 486 00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:24,536 I never had a more beautiful day in my life. 487 00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:30,776 Drinking alone? 488 00:18:30,844 --> 00:18:34,847 No. Frasier asked to meet me to be here today. 489 00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:37,316 He probably wants a few more boorish laughs 490 00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:39,518 at my hair's expense. 491 00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:41,887 Well, if it's any consolation to you, 492 00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:43,989 I think that look does something for you. 493 00:18:44,057 --> 00:18:45,758 Thank you. 494 00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,426 I didn't say what. 495 00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:52,331 Lilith? 496 00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:55,367 Uh, please, don't speak. 497 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,836 I've behaved abominably. 498 00:18:57,904 --> 00:19:00,572 You had the courage to try something different 499 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,107 in order to please me, 500 00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:04,076 and I've repaid you with mockery, 501 00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:05,711 which is unforgivable. 502 00:19:05,779 --> 00:19:09,648 But I, I hope you can forgive me because I love you. 503 00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:11,250 And I love your hair. 504 00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:14,486 And no matter how you might change your outer appearance, 505 00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:19,058 you'll always be the most beautiful woman in the world to me. 506 00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:20,392 Oh, Frasier! 507 00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:33,439 Thanks, Rebecca. 508 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,174 Oh, I better keep one. 509 00:19:37,077 --> 00:19:39,712 NORM: There you go. 510 00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:42,881 Yeah, McHale's playing a little better tonight, huh? 511 00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:45,150 Yeah, of course he is. As soon as I told him how many bolts 512 00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:46,385 were in the floor, he just settled right into his game. 513 00:19:46,453 --> 00:19:47,753 Wait a minute. How could you tell him that? 514 00:19:47,821 --> 00:19:49,254 We never had a chance to count them. 515 00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:52,558 Well, I just made up a number, you know. 516 00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,426 I figure he'll never know the difference. 517 00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:56,795 As long as it improves his game, you know, what's the harm? 518 00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:58,397 Right. 519 00:19:58,465 --> 00:20:00,165 WOODY: Sam, I have a question. 520 00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:02,701 Not now, Woody, I'm, uh, watching the game here. 521 00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:03,936 No, it's really important. 522 00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:05,637 What? 523 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:08,107 Well, say a guy removed the bolts from a piece of floor 524 00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:09,541 in a very important building. Uh-huh. 525 00:20:09,609 --> 00:20:12,644 Like, uh, I don't know, say, the Boston Garden. 526 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,013 And, and say a guard came, 527 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,649 and he didn't have time to put the bolts back in the floor. 528 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,284 What would happen? 529 00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:21,954 You didn't put the bolts back in the floor, Woody? 530 00:20:22,022 --> 00:20:23,689 Oh, I knew you'd catch that. 531 00:20:23,757 --> 00:20:26,692 I should of just been honest with you, Sam. 532 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:28,660 What should I do? 533 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,163 Oh, relax, will you, Woody? For crying out loud, 534 00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:32,965 they got a crew there to check on everything before the game. 535 00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:34,533 Yeah, I'm sure they just found the missing bolts 536 00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:36,001 and replaced them. 537 00:20:36,102 --> 00:20:38,337 I mean, even if they don't, I mean, what are the odds 538 00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:40,639 of somebody hitting that spot exactly, huh? 539 00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:42,741 TV ANNOUNCER: Bird passes to McHale. 540 00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:44,476 McHale is in for it, stops short. 541 00:20:44,544 --> 00:20:46,478 Oh, he's tripped on something! 542 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:47,713 He's down! 543 00:20:47,781 --> 00:20:49,481 It looks like a piece of the floor came up. 544 00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:52,551 That hurt just looking at it! 545 00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:54,887 Oh, no! 546 00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:56,522 I really did it this time. 547 00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:58,824 No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't blame yourself, Woody. 548 00:20:58,925 --> 00:20:59,825 It's my fault. 549 00:20:59,893 --> 00:21:01,527 It was my birthday. 550 00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,996 I'm the one who got him all interested in the bolts. 551 00:21:04,064 --> 00:21:06,298 No, no, it's me who dragged us all out here 552 00:21:06,366 --> 00:21:08,033 in the middle of the night to go count bolts. 553 00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:09,168 It was my fault. 554 00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:10,302 Oh, never would've happened 555 00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:13,639 if I didn't have my Swiss Army Knife. 556 00:21:13,707 --> 00:21:14,840 Guys, it was my fault. 557 00:21:14,908 --> 00:21:16,709 I'm the one who took the bolts out of the floor. 558 00:21:16,810 --> 00:21:19,011 He's right, you know. 559 00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:21,213 That's true. Why are we being so hard on ourselves? 560 00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:22,915 Yeah, you heard him admit that, didn't you? 561 00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:24,817 You guys, you heard it? 562 00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:36,528 Hey, Kevin, how are you feeling? 563 00:21:36,596 --> 00:21:38,197 Not too good, Woody. 564 00:21:38,264 --> 00:21:39,264 I don't know what happened out there. 565 00:21:39,332 --> 00:21:41,200 I must look like an idiot. 566 00:21:41,267 --> 00:21:43,202 It was my fault. 567 00:21:43,269 --> 00:21:44,870 How could it be your fault? 568 00:21:44,938 --> 00:21:47,239 I'm the clown that slipped and fell. 569 00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:48,540 You're right. You were. 570 00:21:48,608 --> 00:21:50,542 You heard him, guys, let's get out of here. 571 00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:52,277 Listen, we have a confession to make, Kevin. 572 00:21:52,345 --> 00:21:53,512 Uh, when we came 573 00:21:53,580 --> 00:21:55,647 over here the other night to count the bolts, 574 00:21:55,715 --> 00:21:57,249 we kind of got carried away 575 00:21:57,317 --> 00:22:00,552 and kind of took some of the bolts out and then... 576 00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:03,722 kind of forgot to put them back in. 577 00:22:03,790 --> 00:22:05,991 You mean to tell me this really is your fault? 578 00:22:06,059 --> 00:22:07,593 I'm afraid so. 579 00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:08,627 Boy, that figures. 580 00:22:08,695 --> 00:22:11,363 With you guys, that really figures. 581 00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:14,733 You know, I'll tell you what, though, 582 00:22:14,801 --> 00:22:16,201 I guess I can't stay too mad at you 583 00:22:16,269 --> 00:22:18,404 'cause you finally solved that bolt question, you know. 584 00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:22,041 We got another confession to make. 585 00:22:22,108 --> 00:22:24,743 We kind of never got around to counting the bolts. 586 00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:26,745 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You trying to tell me, 587 00:22:26,813 --> 00:22:28,247 we still don't know how many bolts there are in that floor? 588 00:22:28,314 --> 00:22:30,249 Yeah, but what is the difference, man? You played a great game. 589 00:22:30,316 --> 00:22:31,850 Yeah, but what about tomorrow's game? 590 00:22:34,187 --> 00:22:37,589 NORM: ...1,216... 591 00:22:37,657 --> 00:22:39,425 1,217... 592 00:22:39,492 --> 00:22:41,894 McHALE: No, no, hold on. I already counted that one. 593 00:22:43,596 --> 00:22:46,632 (sighs) 594 00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:49,435 One... 595 00:22:49,502 --> 00:22:51,503 two... three... 42634

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