All language subtitles for Cheers.S10E07.DVDRiP.XViD-MACRO

Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.

Hey, Miss Howe, I was over
at the magic shop today,

and look what I got
for Halloween. Aah!

It's the old
bloody thumb!

Yuck!

You just hide it somewhere,

and then get ready for the fun.

This was a Halloween night
tradition around our house.

Woody, please don't tell
me how that got started.

I thought we could use it
tonight to scare the guys

from Gary's
Old Towne Tavern.

Woody, it's not
scary, just gross.

That's 'cause
you haven't seen it in action.

I'll try it out
on Mr. Peterson.

Wood, can I
have a refill?

Sure thing,
Mr. P.

Way ahead
of you.
All right.

Yuck.

What the hell is that?

The old bloody thumb.

Didn't it scare you?

No, actually, Wood, it's really
more gross than anything else.

Told you.

Here's another beer, Norm.

Thank you,
Rebecca.

And thank you, Woody.

(theme song begins)

# Making your way
in the world today #

# Takes everything you've got #

# Taking a break
from all your worries #

# Sure would help a lot #

# Wouldn't you like
to get away? #

# Sometimes you want to go #

# Where everybody
knows your name #

# And they're always
glad you came #

# You wanna be
where you can see #

# Our troubles
are all the same #

# You wanna be where
everybody knows your name #

# You wanna go
where people know #

# People are all the same #

# You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. #

All clear in the back, Sammy.
SAM:
Yup.

Same in the office
and the basement.

All right, everybody, let's try
and stay ready for 'em.

Ten-four, Sammy.

Listen to you people.

Every Halloween,
you go on this ridiculous alert,

waiting for Gary
and the deadbeats from his bar

to come over here and scare you.

I mean,
you're tense all day,

you're checking
under the tables,

you're even afraid
to go to the bathroom.

Well, we go upstairs
to Melville's.

Hey, it's once a year.

Well, I think you guys should
just call it off; I mean,

I think it's
really childish.

Excuse me? Childish?

Sweetheart, this is

bar versus bar.

We will use any weapon
available to us.

Water balloons, stink
bombs, whoopee cushions

and fake vomit.

Yes, fake vomit.

Now, how childish is it?

Remember last year, we
sent Cliffy over there

wearing nothing but
a pair of Speedos?

(all laughing,
snickering)

Those people were
screaming like banshees.

(laughs)
Yeah.

Well, I was making
a scary face.

Hey, Sam, I'm back.

CARLA:
Oh, look,

a bumpkin with a pumpkin.

Yeah, it's from
my building's roof garden.

I entered this contest
the local merchants are throwing

for the best jack-o'-lantern.

First prize is

a cruise around
Boston Harbor.

They say it's three hours
you'll never forget.

Especially if it's low tide.

LILITH:
Woody,

it's hard to believe you grew

such a hardy specimen
in the city.

Well, yeah, the trick
is to give it lots of care.

I took a seed

from last year's pumpkin,
planted it,

and watched over it
like a daddy.

I'd even lie in bed
at night thinking,

"I wonder how
the pumpkin's doing."

Pruned it, weeded it,
checked the soil.

I even talked to it.

I think they like that.

Aah!

Farm boys love their Halloween!

I always hated this night.

Why?
Well, when I was a kid,

my folks used
to move around so much

that they never really got
to know the neighbors,

so they didn't trust them.

So when all the other little
kids had their costumes on,

and they were
trick-or-treating,

all I was allowed to do
was stand at our front door

and pass out candies.

I could hardly wait
till I was an adult,

so I could enjoy Halloween,

you know, and not spend all
my time serving everybody else.

Ah. That's too bad.

Could you pass those
pretzels, please?

(moaning):
Darn!

I sympathize
with Rebecca's parents.

I, for one, will not
allow my child

to go trick-or-treating through
the dangerous city streets.

What luck!

I got the last Spider-Man
costume for Frederick!

And look what he
can use for webs.

Frasier, we need
to have a discussion.

Oh. no, don't tell me

you have a thing
against Halloween, too.

I don't have a thing
against Halloween.

I just don't
want my child

panhandling door-to-door

accepting non-nutritious snacks

from strangers,
dressed in a silly costume.

But, darling,
that is Halloween.

Oh.

Well, then I guess
I do have a thing against it.

I got an idea.

Why don't you bring
the little fella by the bar?

We can, you know,
set up candy here and stuff.

It'll be fun.

Well, I suppose

if it's an environment
which we know and trust,

that would be all right.

I am not serving
the little punk, Sam.

I know.

It's all right.

Do me a favor.

Will you take this over
to Table Ten?

Sure...

All righty.

(coins clinking)

(jukebox plays jaunty
pop-rock intro)

# Let's do
the vampire twist... #

Hey, that's not "Funky Town"!

# Do it #

# Yeah... #

(shouting):
Turn it down, will you?
It's too loud.

I can't stop
it, Sammy.
# Let do the vampire twist #

Something's wrong.

# #

Just unplug
the damn thing!

# In the dead of night,
I flew with a bat #

# To the cemetery,
that's where it's at #

# The tombstones were shakin'
to a crazy beat #

# And the mummified mummies
jumped to their feet #

# All the ghouls and goblins
just dying to dance, I saw... #

(needle scratches)

(song stops)

Gary...

CARLA:
Yeah.

Oh... Oh, that's it, man.

I'm calling Gary,

and I'm telling him
that payback is on its way.

(over phone):
# ...Do the vampire #

(music playing over phone)

# Hey! #

# Do the twist... #

# Yeah... #

# Do it with... #

He's good.

You know, this is just
the beginning, too.

He's gonna be doing this
all day long.

We're gonna have
to think of something

to really get back at him.

Yeah.
CARLA:
Yeah....

You know, something

that'll make him wish
he was never born.

Absolutely.
Something
so horrible

that he'll never set foot
in this bar again.

All right!
All right, all right!

What are we
gonna do?

Soap his windows!

You going for, like, a mild
irritation sort of thing?

Oh, all right,
all right, all right.

You know, that was
just my first idea. Uh...

All right.
All right,
yeah, all right.

All right.
CARLA:
What? What?

NORM:
What do you got?

(chuckling)
Hey!

CLIFF:
All right!

We have a lot of Chinese food
delivered to Gary's.

Yeah?

And not Moo Shu,
just the stuff no one likes.

Yeah?

Well, and then, you know,
have to pay for it and stuff.

Sammy...

What?
Look, we gotta think of
something really good.

NORM:
Right.

I mean, just for once,
I'd like to be

on the winning end
of a great scam.

CLIFF:
Well, uh,

just in case,
this morning,

I happened
to put on my Speedos.

Cliff...

No, no, no, no...

Hey, Malone,

I'd like to talk
to you for a second.

(all groaning, booing)

Hey, and I'm really,
really sorry about this jukebox.

That was the vintage one,
wasn't it?

Here. Um...

Oh, I feel awful.
Let me make it up to you.

(through nozzle):
# Do it with me,
do it with me! #

(horn solo blaring)

# Come on, Come on! #

# Do the vampire... #

# Do the vampire twist... #

(song stops)

You're good.

Yes, I know.

Here, I'd like to give
you a blank check.

Whatever the damages,
just write it in.

And I'd also like

to call off all the
pranks for tonight.

What's going on here?

Well, I went to
my doctor today.

He says I have abnormally
high blood pressure.

I'm 225 over 90.

Yeah, he also said
if I don't start
taking it easy

soon, I could end up
a lot worse, so you see,

that's why we got to call off
everything for tonight.

So this is not one
of your pranks?

No, no, no, no-- Sam, I'm
on the level here, okay?

I'm really sorry
about everything, guys.

A round of beers
on me, okay?

Just add it to the
check, Sam, all right?

CLIFF:
Thanks, Gary.

Oh, what are you talking about?

Hey, come on, listen.

Your health's
a lot more important

than a bunch of silly pranks.

Wow, you're really
a great guy, Sam.

Look, I got to go.

My wife's waiting
in the car for me.

She's gonna take me home.

Oh, are we going
after him tonight!

(laughing)

Sam, he just told
you he's sick.

(laughing)

She fell for that!

(mocking tone):
High blood pressure.

My wife's in the car
waiting for me.

Honey, don't you see what
he's trying to do?

He's getting me
to lower my guard.

Oh, this is good,
this is good.

All we got to figure out now is,

is something that'll really
spook him tonight.

CLIFF:
Yeah.
Yeah.

NORM:
Yeah.

Well, Sam, how about using
the old bloody thumb?

That's pretty scary.

Come on, man,
forget the old bloody thumb.

No chump would
fall for that.

(register rings)
Oh, gee!

Helps to have
the right chump.

Maybe you gentlemen
should be thinking

along the lines
of high-tech.

What do you mean?

Well, a hologram.

You project
a three-dimensional

translucent image of
some ghoulish apparition

right into Gary's,

thereby scaring the
bejeezus out of 'em.

Where'd you
get that idea?

Well, actually,

Lilith and her physics friends
pulled it on me last year.

Geez, I must have pulled
out five fistfuls of hair.

Hee, hee, hee...

So, uh, what do you say,
guys, a hologram?

FRASIER:
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.

ALL (chanting):
Hologram! Hologram!

Hologram! Hologram! Hologram!

Trick or treat,
everyone.

Well, rather than
let Freddy have

all the fun, we decided
to get dressed up, too.

Who are you guys
supposed to be?

See, Frasier, I told you
they wouldn't know.

Well, I'm Dante
Gabriel Rossetti!

And I'm his sister,
Christina.

The Rossettis are
our favorite figures

from the Pre-Raphaelite
Brotherhood.

CLIFF:
Oh, yeah.

The Pre-Raphaelites.
Yeah?

Yeah, a group of 19th century
artists and writers

who held an almost-childlike
submission to nature.

That's very good, Cliff.

How would you ever
come to know that?

Ah, I came across it
at the library.

Yeah, going
through art books

looking for paintings
of naked babes, huh?

Really liked 'em
fat back then, didn't they?

Freddy is, of course,

bedecked in the garb
of superhero crime fighter

Spider-Man.

LILITH:
Interestingly,

Spider-Man acquired
his supernatural powers

from the bite
of a radioactive spider.

I tried to explain

to Frederick what would
happen if one were

really bitten
by a radioactive spider,

but he just cried.

Okay, Fred, time
for trick or treat.

Trick or treat, lady.

Here we go.

Oh, thank you.
Thank you.

Hey, mister, trick or treat.

Thank you very much.

Oh, look.

I'd like to tell you
something, young man.

I don't know if you realize how
lucky you are that your parents

let you partake in the better
things of childhood.

You know, I never got
to trick or treat.

I always had
to hand out the candy.

Nobody ever gave me any candy.

Look at that...

Good boy, Freddy.

Thank you.

That's the first time anybody
ever gave me anything.

Thank you, Frederick.

The kid's got a
bagful of Snickers,

and he gives me
a Tootsie Pop.

Oh, boy, do we have
a surprise for Gary.

SAM:
Those physics guys

set up the whole thing;
the hologram's incredible.

What macabre specter
will they be projecting?

Carla's disembodied head
floating over the bar.

(muttering approval)

Scary, huh, Norm?
Yeah.

What would you do if you saw
Carla's disembodied head

floating over the bar?

What I always do.

Call a cab and go home.

Oh, my Lord!

FRASIER:
That would scare even
the most heartiest soul.

Oh...

It's like being in
a haunted house, isn't it?

A haunted house with free taps.

I can't wait
for Gary to see this.

He's gonna
really freak out.

(chuckles)

Oh, here he is now.

Wow!

He was so scared
he passed out.

Gee, I wonder what
we should do.

Well, I think the responsible
thing to do would be

to bring him to
and then, uh, run.

(all laugh)

Hey, guys,

what if the blood
pressure stuff was true?

I mean, that could
be dangerous.

Oh, come on,
give me a break.

He was faking.

He's probably faking now.

Come on,
Gary, get up.

I don't think he can, Sam.

I don't feel a pulse.

Oh, come on, you got
to be kidding.

No, Sam.

Gary's dead.

Good morning!

CLIFF:
Morning, Sam.

It's a dark day.

Oh, come on.

You don't really believe that
Gary's dead, do you?

(gasps):
Do you?

FRASIER:
I beg your pardon.

You were there.

You saw with your own
eyes what happened.

This is Gary we're
talking about.

You can't trust him.

Ever.

He's pulling a stunt.

CARLA:
But the police

and the coroner
confirmed it, Sam.

Oh, no.

No, he-he could've
hired them to trick us.

FRASIER:
Sam, I realize that

Gary's death is
very traumatic for you

and you're-you're obviously
in denial.

No, I am not.

I can't believe you guys.

I'll tell you what.

I'll believe he's dead

as soon as they bury him.

Gary's funeral's
at 2:00 this afternoon.

This is a good one.
This is a good one.

Life is so unfair.

Yes, Woody, very often
we feel that way

when someone close
to us passes on.

I'm talking about the
pumpkin carving contest.

I mean, it had
to be fixed.

You should've
seen the winner.

Teeth going
every which way,

uneven eyes, stupid nose.

You should have seen
this kid's pumpkin.

Sam?

MATT:
Good morning.

I'm Matt, the bartender
from over at Gary's.

Yeah?

We're all kind of in shock,
but I thought I should

come by and give you
something from Gary.

This is good.
Watch this one.

Oh, the bowling trophy.

Gary's prized possession.

MATT:
Gary came back

from seeing you yesterday, Sam,
and all he could talk about

was how concerned you were
over his condition.

He was pretty
touched that

after all this time
of being rivals,

when it counted most,
you really cared about him.

That is so sweet and so sad.

Oh, come on!
Give me a break!

The guy is probably hanging out
around here someplace.

Hey, what're you up
at Melville's, Gary?

Come on down!

(chuckles)

Wow, you are
cold, man.

I was gonna ask you
for a job,

but pfft!-- forget it now.

Now, he's good.

He is really good.

REBECCA:
Sam, stop it.

The game is over.

A man is dead.

You know, it's getting
a little bit embarrassing.

It's time for you to face
the fact that Gary is dead.

That you had a hand
in his death.

We all did.

That's the end of it.

Yeah, maybe you're right.

All right, I admit it.

Waah-waah, he's dead.

(laughs)

Come on, you guys.

Lookit, he's bluffing.

I wonder how far he's really
going to take this thing.

I'll be he's not even in there.

Okay, so he's in there.

I still think
it's a trick.

If he wants to stay
in there and suffocate,

it's fine with me;
it's his funeral.

Oh...

Sam, we'd like you
to be a pallbearer.

Well, why me?

I mean, Gary hated me.

It's a shame you never knew how
much he thought of you, Sam.

He thrived on
your competition.

You brought him life.

Then you took it away.

I don't want to be
a pallbearer.

FRASIER:
Sam,

it's the least
you could do.

Oh, I know what
he's going to do.

All right,
we're walking along here,

all of a sudden,
the coffin opens up,

he reaches out
and grabs my hand.

Yeah, right.
Ooh-ooh, I'm scared, yeah.

Come on, Gare, I got you.
Come on, open up.

(knocks on coffin)
Hello? Come on out, Gary.

(owl hooting in distance)

Come on, Gary.
Enough's enough.

It's getting chilly out here.

CLIFF:
Sammy?
Hmm?

Come on, the funeral's
been over for hours.

No, no, you don't understand.
See, that's the whole thing

about practical jokes,
it's timing.

I know this; I've done this
a thousand times before.

Matter of fact,
if I don't miss my guess,

he'll be coming out...

right about... now.

Right about now.

Come on,
you're milking it, Gary!

Get out of there!

FRASIER:
I don't think he's
coming out, Sam.

Yeah? Well, then I'm...
I'm digging him out.

Come on, Gary.
Come on.

No, you don't understand.
This is a stunt.

No, come on, you can
hear him laughing.

He's laughing--
I hear you!

You're laughing,
I know that!

Okay, Gary, I'm back.

You can come out
and scare me now.

Shh-shh! Watch.

Oh, Sam, he's not here.

Oh, my God...

What if he's really dead?

The thought has
occurred to me, Sam.

He's gone.

He's really gone.

Gary had to go out
of his way to prove it to you,

but, yes, Sam,
he's gone.

I feel like I've lost
my best friend.

CARLA:
Having Gary around

was, like, the one
thing that always

seemed to pull us
together as a group.

Yeah. Gary really brought out
the best in us, huh?

No, Cliffie, he brought out
the worst in us.

He will be missed.

Boy, I'll tell you,
I've done a lot of things

that I regret, but I'll never
be able to make up for this one.

You know,
maybe it's time I

stopped acting
like an overgrown child.

I mean, a man is dead because
I did not have the maturity

to know when to stop.

Never thought
I'd say this, but...

I miss Gary.

He's a... he's a true friend.

That would have made
a better eulogy than

"Get out of there, Gary."

I feel so empty.

(crying)

WOODY:
Excuse me.

(continues crying)

SAM:
Woody, come,
come back here.

Oh, come on, Woody.

God, it's all my fault.

(Woody sobs loudly
in distance)

Hey, Woody, come on, man.

You, you don't want to cry
by yourself in there.

Come on, come on, man.

Come on, listen,
hey, hey, listen to me.

Listen to me.

We all feel bad.

(crying continues)

Do you, Malone?

Do you really?

(laughs)

Trick or treat!

You... you were
all in this together?

Hey, the whole city of Boston
was in on this one, Sam.

Come on, you're supposed
to be on my side.

It was really funny, Sam.

Yeah, but you're

my pal, man.
Come on!

It was really, really funny!

Sammy, I told you.
I told you we wanted to be

on the winning end
of a great scam.

That was a clue.

Yeah, but you never
really gave

that Chinese food thing
a chance.

Hey, too bad you can't
get back at me, Malone,

but you're a big boy now.

You don't want to play pretend
'cause people could get hurt.

Whoops!
This, I believe, is mine.

SAM:
Oh, no, wait!

Hey, the game
is not over, Gary!

Hey, listen, I'm going
to find something

to scare you.
I swear to God I am!

Here, use this, Sam.
Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bloody thumb!
Bloody thumb!

Whoo! Whoo!