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1
00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:09,074
You in this game,
Vinnie, or not?
2
00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:10,241
Yeah, I'm in.
3
00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:11,409
Put in!
4
00:00:11,478 --> 00:00:12,822
Gee, Oscar, please,
ooh, take it easy.
5
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:15,914
Boy, you been nasty,
screaming all evening.
6
00:00:15,983 --> 00:00:17,182
Well, I'm sorry, fellas,
7
00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:19,491
but you know how the
holiday season depresses me.
8
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:21,887
Oscar, just because
you and your ex-wife
9
00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:23,666
were married on
December 25, is no reason
10
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:24,823
to hate Christmas.
11
00:00:24,891 --> 00:00:26,503
Well, it's a pretty
good start though, huh?
12
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,538
You want another
reason why I'm so jolly?
13
00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:31,096
Blanche and that guy she was
all set to marry, they broke up.
14
00:00:31,164 --> 00:00:33,065
You mean she and
that retired general split?
15
00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:34,066
Yeah.
16
00:00:34,134 --> 00:00:35,366
Wow, what happened?
17
00:00:35,435 --> 00:00:37,613
Last weekend, she took
him home to meet her folks.
18
00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:39,649
Monday morning, he
put his uniform back on
19
00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:41,351
and he volunteered
for combat duty.
20
00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:43,709
That's very funny?
21
00:00:43,778 --> 00:00:44,855
Very funny, the alimony goes up.
22
00:00:44,879 --> 00:00:46,022
Don't talk to me about
Christmas, will ya?
23
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:49,381
All that sticky, phony goodwill.
24
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:51,450
I'd like to get a
giant candy cane
25
00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:54,653
and beat the wings off a
sugar plum fairy. I'm out.
26
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,622
Felix was right.
27
00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:59,358
Oscar will make a perfect
Scrooge for our play.
28
00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:00,903
He won't even have to act.
29
00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:01,993
What, Murray, what?
30
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,740
It's for Murray's
police charity.
31
00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:05,297
We're all doing Charles Dickens
32
00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:07,310
Christmas Carol at the
Midtown Orphanage.
33
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:08,867
I'm all choked up.
34
00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:10,080
Felix is directing
35
00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:11,704
and he picked you to
be Ebenezer Scrooge.
36
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,372
Didn't he tell you about it?
37
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:15,185
Yeah, he told... Did he tell
you what I told him back?
38
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:17,653
♪ Deck the halls
with boughs of holly ♪
39
00:01:17,677 --> 00:01:19,711
♪ Tra-la-la-la-la,
la-la-la-la... ♪
40
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:22,080
♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪
41
00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:23,415
♪ Tra-la-la-la-la... ♪
42
00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:25,228
Gentlemen, partake
of Christmas cheer.
43
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:29,221
Felix Unger's homemade eggnog
and low-cal Christmas cookies.
44
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:30,633
Felix, you did it again!
45
00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:32,002
I've never seen this before.
46
00:01:32,026 --> 00:01:33,970
What is it, a
gingerbread octopus?
47
00:01:33,994 --> 00:01:35,760
No, it's a reindeer
with antlers.
48
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:38,596
You're eating it upside down.
49
00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:39,998
Oscar, have a cookie.
50
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:42,312
I have all the Christmas
colors, red, white, green.
51
00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:43,735
You got any black cookies?
52
00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:44,869
I like black cookies.
53
00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:46,738
I'm not doing your dumb play.
54
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:47,884
Of course you are...
You're the perfect Scrooge.
55
00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:49,774
I told you I'm not gonna do it!
56
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:52,510
I'm going to spend all my
time trying to find a love potion
57
00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:54,424
that will make Blanche
fall in love with anybody.
58
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:55,625
Look, I pay alimony, too,
59
00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:56,993
and I don't take it
out on all the guys.
60
00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:58,294
Besides, it's deductible.
61
00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:00,185
I've got nothing
to deduct it from!
62
00:02:00,253 --> 00:02:01,331
You better be good,
63
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:02,466
or Santa isn't gonna
bring you anything.
64
00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:04,422
Santa, are you kidding?
65
00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:06,035
Santa wouldn't... If he
came down that chimney,
66
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:07,237
you'd have him
cleaned and pressed.
67
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,060
I'm not doing your dumb play.
68
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,240
Please, Oscar, the kids need
69
00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:11,407
a Scrooge they can hate.
70
00:02:11,431 --> 00:02:12,642
You'd be perfect.
71
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:14,565
Oh, you want hate, fellas?
72
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:16,434
Why didn't you... I'm
gonna give you hate.
73
00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:17,943
I'm gonna give
you all kinds of hate.
74
00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:20,917
Don't tell me to hate hate.
75
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:22,573
Oh, you don't mean that.
76
00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:24,602
You're sloppy,
but you're not cruel.
77
00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:26,812
Don't test me, Felix.
78
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:28,624
Oscar, in these troubled times
79
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:30,593
what do the words
"Peace on earth
80
00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:32,595
goodwill toward
men," mean to you?
81
00:02:32,619 --> 00:02:35,086
They mean, Felix,
I've had you up to here.
82
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,488
I'm going to bed.
83
00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:38,301
You can't, you've got
to help me trim the tree.
84
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:41,259
Take the tree with
you and trim it outside
85
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:42,728
because I'm throwing
you out, Felix.
86
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:43,963
That's your Christmas present.
87
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,330
It's snowing outside.
88
00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:47,132
That's perfect for
you, it'll hide the dirt.
89
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,801
Merry Christmas, ho, ho, ho!
90
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:54,272
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho...
That's our Scrooge.
91
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:16,921
I think these belong to you.
92
00:04:16,991 --> 00:04:19,858
If they're not stained,
crumpled or smelly,
93
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,171
they probably do.
94
00:04:21,195 --> 00:04:24,496
Look, why don't you take
what you need for the night,
95
00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:25,663
send for the rest tomorrow.
96
00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:27,310
You're impossible to live with
97
00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:28,614
at this time of year.
98
00:04:28,668 --> 00:04:30,413
You said you wanted me
to leave and I'm leaving.
99
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:31,982
I presume that's the
way you still want it?
100
00:04:32,006 --> 00:04:33,405
That's exactly
the way I want it.
101
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:35,018
Soon as I get my
overcoat and galoshes,
102
00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:36,774
I'll trouble you no more.
103
00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:42,046
Wait a minute, I
just threw you out.
104
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,282
Why are you giving me a gift?
105
00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:44,650
It's your Christmas present.
106
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:45,651
Yeah, well, I don't want it.
107
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:46,896
Neither do I.
108
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,565
I got a gift for you,
too. It's under the sink.
109
00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:50,467
Yes, I know, I found
it there last week.
110
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,023
What were you
doing under the sink?
111
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,659
Some people are known
to clean under there.
112
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:57,963
Well, Merry Christmas.
113
00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:00,731
Good-bye forever, old buddy.
114
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,200
Peace on Earth.
115
00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,481
After that speech, I thought
you'd leave by the chimney.
116
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,505
If anybody should
wish to contact me,
117
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:08,774
I'll either be at my studio
rehearsing the play,
118
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:13,344
or whatever hotel has a
vacancy this time of year.
119
00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:14,680
Hold it, Felix.
120
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:18,116
Take this with you.
121
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:22,054
You know, I was wrong
to ask you to play Scrooge.
122
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:25,557
Next to you, he was a saint.
123
00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:35,000
Aah, hope you get
mugged by an orphan.
124
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:43,108
Boy, that Charles
Dickens was sure a genius.
125
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,909
This is a wonderful play.
126
00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:47,023
Yes, but without the right
person playing Scrooge,
127
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:49,192
it could be a bomb,
Don't you agree, Speed?
128
00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:50,482
Hey, Speed?
129
00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:51,750
He must love the writing.
130
00:05:51,819 --> 00:05:52,917
Hey, come on.
131
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:54,964
Lolita and The Naked Pharmacist
132
00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,899
Or Happiness Is A Hot Drugstore
133
00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:58,656
It got terrific reviews, really.
134
00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:01,058
Besides, I read this
Dickens story. Let me have it.
135
00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:03,173
Hey, Murray, where you been?
136
00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,674
Oh, sorry I'm late.
137
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,275
Some wino got tangled up
138
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:08,700
in a Christmas display window.
139
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:11,403
We booked him on a
charge of assaulting an elf.
140
00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:13,505
Hey, where's Felix?
141
00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:14,950
He's back there, pacing.
142
00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:16,919
You know him, he
always gets so involved.
143
00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:19,844
Yeah, well, he'd better
really get involved in this play,
144
00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:22,847
'cause without Oscar playing
Scrooge, we're in deep trouble.
145
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:24,828
No, we're not.
146
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:27,318
We don't need Oscar
Madison to make this show a hit.
147
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,654
The theater is a
collaborative effort,
148
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:33,425
not a vehicle for the
talents of an individual.
149
00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:35,259
Orson Welles said that.
150
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:38,274
Fellas, if we pull together,
151
00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:41,366
we can make this
a heck of a show.
152
00:06:41,434 --> 00:06:43,213
Yeah, let's all work hard.
153
00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:45,215
I want to invite the
police commissioner.
154
00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:46,872
But, Felix, you make
it sound so serious.
155
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:49,107
It's only a little
play for kids.
156
00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:51,276
Oh, if that's your
attitude, forget it.
157
00:06:51,345 --> 00:06:53,155
I mean, why do you
have me to direct it?
158
00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:54,613
Let, let Speed direct it.
159
00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:56,192
Come on, Felix.
160
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:58,083
We want you, Felix.
161
00:06:58,152 --> 00:07:00,785
But wouldn't it be better
if Oscar played Scrooge?
162
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:03,655
No, Oscar said he doesn't
want to play the part.
163
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:05,557
I, for one, refuse to beg him.
164
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,793
We'll find somebody
else to play the part.
165
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:09,528
Roy, read for the part.
166
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:10,762
Oh, j...
167
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:12,809
Felix, I can't play Scr...
168
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:13,976
Trust me. I don't have the...
169
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,067
Trust me. Read. But...
170
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:21,718
"Christmas... bah... humbug.
171
00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:23,174
"If I had me way,
172
00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:26,077
"every fool that goes about
shouting 'Merry Christmas'
173
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,547
should be boiled
in a plum pudding..."
174
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:32,517
There are no small
parts, only small actors.
175
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,018
Remember that.
176
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:36,020
You're going to be
marvelous on the snow.
177
00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:37,722
I guess that means
you were lousy.
178
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,090
Uh-uh-uh!
179
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:40,803
We've only
scratched the surface.
180
00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:42,805
We'll find the right
man for the job.
181
00:07:42,829 --> 00:07:44,829
Murray.
182
00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:48,967
Felix... you want me
to try for Scrooge?
183
00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:51,603
No, Murray, you're
too full of humanity.
184
00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:54,506
Nobody would ever believe
you were a mean person.
185
00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:56,719
Even if you kicked
a dog on the stage,
186
00:07:56,743 --> 00:07:58,754
nobody would ever believe it.
187
00:07:58,778 --> 00:08:00,879
I would never kick a dog, Felix.
188
00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:02,680
I know that, Murray.
189
00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:04,861
Directors sense these things.
190
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,283
Really?
191
00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:12,457
You are Ebenezer Scrooge.
192
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:15,293
You hate everything
that is warm and decent,
193
00:08:15,362 --> 00:08:18,963
because you've never
known warmth and decency.
194
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:21,633
Other people are having
the fun you should be having
195
00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:24,268
and you despise them for it
196
00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:26,904
and you'll make them pay.
197
00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:28,907
Now read Scrooge!
198
00:08:35,381 --> 00:08:36,381
Christmas, huh?
199
00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:38,716
Bah, humbug on Christmas!
200
00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:39,517
Who needs it?
201
00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:41,753
You fools, you pigs!
202
00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:43,655
If I had me way,
203
00:08:43,723 --> 00:08:45,757
I'd have you all
flogged, you hear?!
204
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:49,328
Hey, hey!
205
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:50,328
Hey, hey!
206
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:51,397
Vinnie!
207
00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:52,575
Vinnie...
208
00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:54,499
Vinnie...
209
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:56,401
I-I guess I was pretty bad, huh?
210
00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:58,703
Come on, sit down. Come on.
211
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:01,773
You have a... an
unusual gift, Vinnie.
212
00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:04,254
If we ever do Scrooge
as an ax-murderer,
213
00:09:04,278 --> 00:09:06,878
you've got the job.
214
00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:08,046
Speed?
215
00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:09,547
Hmm? It's your ball.
216
00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:10,616
What do you want?
217
00:09:10,683 --> 00:09:11,950
I want you to read.
218
00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:14,296
Oh, read this? No,
Felix, I'd get embarrassed.
219
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,755
You're among friends,
Speed. Don't be coy, come on.
220
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,089
Come on, read.
221
00:09:18,157 --> 00:09:19,591
Okay.
222
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:23,094
"Waldo the soda jerk
223
00:09:23,162 --> 00:09:25,274
"took Lolita behind
the prescription counter.
224
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:26,631
"With him he brought a crutch,
225
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:29,044
"two thermometers
and a banana split to go."
226
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:31,002
Charles Dickens
never wrote that.
227
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:32,637
I didn't say he did.
228
00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:36,308
Where it says "Scrooge," read.
229
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,643
Oh.
230
00:09:38,711 --> 00:09:42,180
Christmas bah humbug humbug
I say if I had my way I would...
231
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:43,559
Thank you very much,
that's the first time
232
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,494
I've ever heard Scrooge
performed as an auctioneer.
233
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:46,717
You don't get the part.
234
00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:48,152
I told you that.
235
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:49,365
Felix, we're in big trouble.
236
00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:51,134
We'd better beg
Oscar to reconsider.
237
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:52,835
Nobody here can play Scrooge.
238
00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:55,259
Not everyone here has
auditioned for the part.
239
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:57,261
Right, Felix hasn't
auditioned yet.
240
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,597
Yeah, I'll bet he can do it.
241
00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:01,644
Fellas, I appreciate
your thinking of me, but...
242
00:10:01,668 --> 00:10:03,045
I could, I could,
I could play it
243
00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:05,214
but if I did, we wouldn't
have a show for the kids.
244
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:06,382
Somebody's got to be backstage
245
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:07,550
and run all the
technical things.
246
00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:08,506
It's very difficult.
247
00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:10,575
I can't do it.
248
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:15,012
I'd like to show you how it
ought to be done, though.
249
00:10:15,081 --> 00:10:17,059
Christmas? Bah, humbug!
250
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:19,751
If I had my way, every fool
that shouts "Merry Christmas"
251
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:21,853
"should be boiled
in a plum pudding
252
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:25,155
and buried with a sprig
of holly through his heart."
253
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:31,095
We'd better get Oscar, huh?
254
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:33,431
You're the only one
who can play the part.
255
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:34,966
Hey, Felix!
256
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:38,937
Speed: Felix, will you tell
Oscar he's the only one?
257
00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:41,372
Gone 24 hours, and
already this lovely apartment
258
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:42,807
has reverted to a jungle.
259
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,642
Yep, the Board of Health
260
00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:46,689
is going to take
away your gold star.
261
00:10:46,713 --> 00:10:49,313
This is my apartment
and this is the way I like it!
262
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,983
I didn't come to bandy
words with you, Oscar.
263
00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:54,229
I'm here solely on
behalf of those children.
264
00:10:54,253 --> 00:10:55,698
Hold it a minute,
will you, Felix?
265
00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:59,023
I can't take a sob story
on an empty stomach.
266
00:10:59,091 --> 00:11:01,559
Vinnie, would you get
up a minute, please?
267
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:03,494
You're sitting on the meat loaf.
268
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,996
Oscar, we need you for the play.
269
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:07,498
Now, what do you say? Come on.
270
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:09,200
No chance.
271
00:11:09,268 --> 00:11:11,636
That spicy food will
bring back your ulcer.
272
00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:14,072
You're not going to
sleep a wink tonight.
273
00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:16,540
Oscar, maybe the reason
Christmas gets you down
274
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:19,044
is because you just
think about yourself.
275
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,546
But if you do the play for
those kids at the orphanage...
276
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:23,926
Murray is making a very
solemn, psychological point.
277
00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:25,695
If you would do
something for others,
278
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:27,396
you would find you were
doing something for yourself.
279
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,298
Oh, forget psychology, Oscar.
280
00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:31,823
Look, it would be
just a nice thing to do.
281
00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:33,925
Just plain nice.
282
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:36,072
Especially at
Christmastime, Oscar.
283
00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:38,741
I mean, It can be the loneliest
time of the year for a person
284
00:11:38,765 --> 00:11:40,443
if he doesn't have a little
love in his heart. Yeah.
285
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:41,944
Fellas, I'd like
to help you out...
286
00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:43,846
I feel for the kids,
I really like kids...
287
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,910
But I'm just not in
the mood, that's all.
288
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,384
Mr. Oscar Madison? Yeah.
289
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,141
You have a singing telegram.
290
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,587
Lay it on me, kid.
291
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:57,115
♪ Season's greetings,
Oscar boy, my alimony's due ♪
292
00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:58,783
♪ If you don't pay
up right away ♪
293
00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:00,418
♪ I'll get the cops on you ♪
294
00:12:00,486 --> 00:12:02,565
♪ And you'll spend
Christmas in the clink ♪
295
00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:04,989
♪ With other bums like you. ♪
296
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,725
Signed, "Your former
wife, Blanche Madison."
297
00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:12,830
You expect a tip
from me for that?
298
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:15,366
What tip? She sent it collect.
299
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:21,272
You were talking
about love in the heart?!
300
00:12:21,340 --> 00:12:22,585
Aw, Oscar.. Oscar...
301
00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:24,529
Come on, don't let a
couple of bad breaks
302
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:25,922
turn you against Christmas.
303
00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:27,790
Don't give me any of that
Christmas jazz, Murray!
304
00:12:27,814 --> 00:12:29,124
Now clear out, everybody!
305
00:12:29,148 --> 00:12:30,492
I'm not going to do
the play, that's final.
306
00:12:30,516 --> 00:12:31,761
All right, all right,
come on, come on.
307
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:32,717
Get out of here!
Let's go, let's go.
308
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:34,697
Merry Christmas,
sir. Everybody...
309
00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:35,586
Get him out of here!
310
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:36,655
Stay out of his way.
311
00:12:36,722 --> 00:12:38,122
He's dangerous
this time of year.
312
00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:40,457
In case you don't recognize
him, that's Ebenezer Scrooge.
313
00:12:40,526 --> 00:12:41,806
Oh, save your breath.
314
00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:43,961
That's who you are...
The real Scrooge!
315
00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:45,975
You'd better get out of here!
316
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,342
Huh?!
317
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:53,971
Bunch of bleeding
hearts, that's what they are.
318
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,974
Just because I'm realistic about
Christmas, they call me Scrooge.
319
00:12:57,043 --> 00:12:59,343
I'd like to give 'em a...
320
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:00,678
What's that noise?
321
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:06,050
Hey, keep it down!
322
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,085
People are trying to rest!
323
00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:09,586
I'm going to call the cops!
324
00:13:09,655 --> 00:13:12,256
That's right!
325
00:13:13,659 --> 00:13:14,758
Look at this.
326
00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:16,760
Look at this. Merry Christmas.
327
00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:21,532
Bunch of bleeding hearts.
328
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:24,835
Oh, boy. Whoo...
329
00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:32,388
I don't think I should
have had that meat loaf.
330
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:34,879
Not after the chili
and liverwurst.
331
00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:37,393
For tonight's
television special,
332
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:38,616
we proudly present
333
00:13:38,684 --> 00:13:41,585
Charles Dickens'
immortal Christmas Carol.
334
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:44,722
Sure, Christmas Carol
preempts the roller derby.
335
00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:47,525
That figures for me, right?
336
00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:52,063
That figures...
That really figures...
337
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:55,099
Marley was dead,
dead as a doornail.
338
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,634
Of that, there was no doubt.
339
00:13:56,702 --> 00:13:59,270
Yet before the night
was out, his apparition...
340
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:02,206
my apparition will appear
341
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:09,546
terrify and change the
hated, crotchety, sloppy...
342
00:14:09,615 --> 00:14:13,617
Ebenezer Madison.
343
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,186
Bah, humbug.
344
00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:17,655
Christmas is humbug.
345
00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:25,563
Ebenezer Madison...
346
00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:27,832
What was that?
347
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:30,935
Look at your television set.
348
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:44,281
That's the lousiest
commercial I ever saw
349
00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:46,428
Don't touch that
remote control device!
350
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:47,685
How'd you do that?
351
00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:52,489
You will be haunted
tonight, Ebenezer Madison,
352
00:14:52,559 --> 00:15:00,559
until the bitterness in
your heart is no more.
353
00:15:00,666 --> 00:15:08,472
Haunteeeeeed...
354
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:12,810
Aah, it's just bad
reception, that's all.
355
00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:14,878
Wait till that TV
repairman gets here,
356
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,825
I'm going to kick
him down the stairs!
357
00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:19,083
Surprise!
358
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:22,353
You're not really here.
359
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:23,721
I'm imagining it all.
360
00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:25,367
It was all that
spicy food I ate.
361
00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:26,835
You know, you're
nothing but a bad dream.
362
00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:28,392
Wrong, Ebenezer.
363
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:29,738
Can a dream do this?
364
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,706
Look, pick a card, any card.
365
00:15:31,730 --> 00:15:34,265
Oh, please, go away.
366
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:40,737
Ooooooooh... Come.
367
00:15:40,806 --> 00:15:42,706
Hey, wait a minute,
wait, this is wrong.
368
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:43,874
I've read the story.
369
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,542
You're not really
Marley's ghost.
370
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:46,888
They couldn't get Marley.
371
00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:48,190
It's his busy season.
372
00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:50,848
Come, I'll show
you the first vision.
373
00:15:50,916 --> 00:15:53,017
Are you crazy?
That's 12 floors down!
374
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:54,751
"Touch but my hand
375
00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:57,921
and you will be upheld
in more than this."
376
00:15:57,991 --> 00:16:00,924
Would I tamper with a classic?
377
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:04,028
Ooh! Oh!
378
00:16:04,096 --> 00:16:06,997
I warned you, you nut!
379
00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:10,100
Boy, that guy must be
some kind of dumb-dumb.
380
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:11,769
I tried to tell him.
381
00:16:11,837 --> 00:16:13,677
Don't say a word.
382
00:16:13,739 --> 00:16:15,573
We'll take an alternate route.
383
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:18,008
How? We'll take the elevator.
384
00:16:18,077 --> 00:16:19,677
Come.
385
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:28,719
I think I saw this place in
a "Wolf Man" movie once.
386
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,388
I don't like it.
387
00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:31,856
You think I like it?
388
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:34,692
Can you imagine what this
fog is doing to my sinuses.
389
00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:36,894
Aah!
390
00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:39,963
Begone, fog, begone.
391
00:16:46,906 --> 00:16:49,418
I'm shivering. Why
is it so cold here?
392
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,509
Because, Ebenezer Madison,
393
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:56,947
we are entering your
own coldhearted past.
394
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,549
Look back...
395
00:16:58,617 --> 00:17:04,221
into your Christmas past...
396
00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:09,226
"Dear Santy Claus:
397
00:17:09,295 --> 00:17:12,430
"This Christmas I wanted a pony.
398
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:15,632
"That was the only
thing I asked for.
399
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:18,169
"Not a horsey,
just a little pony.
400
00:17:18,237 --> 00:17:20,737
"I know Mommy and
Daddy said it was stupid
401
00:17:20,806 --> 00:17:22,817
"to have a pony in
the Bronx, but I could...
402
00:17:23,842 --> 00:17:25,709
"I could...
403
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:28,312
"I-I could have kept
him in my bedroom.
404
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,881
"But Santy, you didn't
give me nothing. Just a...
405
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:34,918
"Just an old ugly rubber duck
here with a busted honker!
406
00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:40,191
"So I hope your stupid reindeers
attack you, you fat creep!
407
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:42,060
Yours truly."
408
00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:43,561
I don't want to see anymore.
409
00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:46,230
Perhaps a look into
Christmas present
410
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:48,232
will change your mind.
411
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:51,569
Come along, dear Tiny Tim.
412
00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:52,781
Come along.
413
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:54,305
And don't touch the snow.
414
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:56,607
You don't know where it's been.
415
00:17:56,675 --> 00:17:59,176
I know that face.
416
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,845
But I can't place it.
417
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:01,990
Who is it?
418
00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:04,782
Your clerk, Bob Cratchit.
419
00:18:04,850 --> 00:18:06,428
What clerk? I don't
have any clerks.
420
00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:09,353
Merry Christmas!
421
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,066
What a joy it is
422
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,524
to be home in one's
hovel on Christmas day.
423
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,793
Come in, Tiny Tim.
424
00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:17,940
God bless us all, every one.
425
00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:19,563
Good. Hold that thought.
426
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:22,900
Are you hungry, poor
teeny-tiny Timmy?
427
00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:25,250
God bless us all, every one.
428
00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:27,204
Of course, you're
delirious with hunger.
429
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,740
I best call my
other poor children.
430
00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:30,920
Careful, Tiny.
431
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,487
Don't bang the
furniture with the crutch.
432
00:18:32,511 --> 00:18:35,313
God bless us all, every one.
433
00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:37,881
Keep saying that, and someday
you'll grow up to be a cop.
434
00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:40,784
Children, your father is home
435
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:43,032
with your tiny
brother, Tiny Tim.
436
00:18:43,056 --> 00:18:45,567
If we weren't so poor,
I'd change your name.
437
00:18:45,591 --> 00:18:47,369
Children, Dada is home.
438
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:49,004
Come quickly, come
quickly, everybody. Dada!
439
00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:50,172
Will you wager or not?
440
00:18:50,196 --> 00:18:52,163
I'm in for a shilling.
441
00:18:52,231 --> 00:18:54,965
Merry Christmas, Tiny
Tim, my sad brother.
442
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:58,169
God bless us all, every one.
443
00:18:58,237 --> 00:18:59,581
Ah, shut up, and
let's play cards.
444
00:18:59,605 --> 00:19:01,016
Come on, let's play cards.
445
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,185
I've seen enough of
this weird garbage.
446
00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:04,253
I'm going home.
447
00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:05,320
I want to get a seltzer.
448
00:19:05,344 --> 00:19:06,643
My ulcer's acting up.
449
00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:10,147
Look... Boys, come close.
450
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:11,615
Let's huddle for warmth.
451
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:15,019
Oh, how lucky we are to be
together on this day of days.
452
00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:17,365
Yeah, we're lots luckier
than Ebenezer Madison.
453
00:19:17,389 --> 00:19:18,322
Boo! Boo! Boo!
454
00:19:18,390 --> 00:19:19,534
Boo! Boo! Boo!
455
00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:21,136
Boys, boys, for shame!
456
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,294
It's a good thing
your mother isn't here
457
00:19:23,362 --> 00:19:24,939
to hear you talking that way.
458
00:19:24,963 --> 00:19:26,831
Where is Mommy, Dada?
459
00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:29,299
I don't know.
460
00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:31,936
All I know is that I put the
alimony check in the mail,
461
00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:34,872
and the government
does the rest.
462
00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:37,307
God bless us all, every one.
463
00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:39,109
Poor Tiny Tim.
464
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:42,712
I'd like to lend him some money
so he could have his nose fixed.
465
00:19:42,781 --> 00:19:46,283
Think of what an empty
Christmas he must be having
466
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:50,354
with nobody to care about
him but a dumb rubber duck.
467
00:19:50,422 --> 00:19:51,989
I know! Let's sing him
468
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:53,690
"A Christmas Carol"
by Charles Dickens.
469
00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:55,125
I'm in for eight bars.
470
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,272
I'll see that and
raise you 12 bars.
471
00:19:57,296 --> 00:19:59,997
God bless us all, every one.
472
00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:01,698
Boys, let's hear it now
473
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:03,067
for Ebenezer Madison,
474
00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:06,636
no matter how terrible
a person he may be.
475
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:08,616
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪
476
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,241
♪ Jingle all the way ♪
477
00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:11,876
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride ♪
478
00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:13,777
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪
479
00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:15,979
♪ Hey! Bum, bum,
bum, dee, dee, doo ♪
480
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,448
♪ Bum, bum, bum, da, dee... ♪
481
00:20:17,516 --> 00:20:20,350
They're singing for me.
482
00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:22,352
They don't hate me.
483
00:20:22,421 --> 00:20:25,089
I've been so miserable to them.
484
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:29,426
Hey, ghost, is it... Hey, ghost?
485
00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:31,328
Where are you?
486
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:33,363
Don't leave me alone now.
487
00:20:33,432 --> 00:20:40,104
Look upon Christma
yet to come, Ebenezer!
488
00:20:42,341 --> 00:20:44,008
Oh, no.
489
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:47,244
It can't be, ghost.
490
00:20:47,313 --> 00:20:49,780
I'm too young.
491
00:20:52,284 --> 00:20:54,251
It's mine.
492
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:59,724
"This messy grave
marks the last resting place
493
00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:01,892
of Oscar Madison."
494
00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:03,921
Hey, listen,
ghost, that isn't fair.
495
00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:05,941
You know, I don't
want to go this way.
496
00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:08,532
With nobody remembering
me, nobody caring!
497
00:21:16,408 --> 00:21:19,010
It's my only friend, ghost.
498
00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:23,648
Listen, you got to give
me another chance.
499
00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:25,716
Please, one more chance.
500
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:26,617
Please!
501
00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:28,085
Please!!
502
00:21:28,154 --> 00:21:29,720
Please...!
503
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:30,721
Please!
504
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:31,722
Oscar! Oscar! Please!
505
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,102
Please! Oscar, hey, hey.
506
00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:34,703
What? What? Who? Who?
You're having a nightmare.
507
00:21:34,727 --> 00:21:37,072
All that spicy food
you ate, no wonder!
508
00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:39,216
Oh, yeah, yeah, you did
tell me my ulcer would act up.
509
00:21:39,265 --> 00:21:40,342
Yeah, well, you should
have listened to me.
510
00:21:40,366 --> 00:21:42,344
Got my things all packed, Oscar.
511
00:21:42,368 --> 00:21:43,646
This is good-bye.
512
00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:45,369
What do you mean,
good-bye? What good-bye?
513
00:21:45,437 --> 00:21:47,349
The fellas are
outside waiting for me.
514
00:21:47,373 --> 00:21:49,351
They wanted me to
make one last-ditch effort
515
00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:50,719
to get you to play Scrooge.
516
00:21:50,743 --> 00:21:52,420
We're rehearsing tonight
and you could make it.
517
00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:55,011
But I said you'd
never be interested.
518
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,548
And I'll have to
play it myself, Oscar.
519
00:21:57,617 --> 00:21:59,394
Good-bye. Oh, hold it, Felix.
520
00:21:59,418 --> 00:22:00,796
Hey, hey, watch it,
watch yourself now.
521
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:02,564
I'm a former serviceman.
Don't do anything rash.
522
00:22:02,588 --> 00:22:03,899
What? What are
you talking about?
523
00:22:03,923 --> 00:22:05,834
You are the best friend I
have in the whole world.
524
00:22:05,858 --> 00:22:06,791
I am? Yes.
525
00:22:06,859 --> 00:22:08,170
I am? Yes!
526
00:22:08,194 --> 00:22:10,539
And Roy and Speed
and Vinnie and Murray...
527
00:22:10,563 --> 00:22:12,740
All my good friends, and what
kind of a friend have I been?
528
00:22:12,764 --> 00:22:14,943
I wouldn't even be in a lousy
Christmas play for you guys.
529
00:22:14,967 --> 00:22:17,267
This is the real you
530
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:19,236
that's underneath
the other real you.
531
00:22:19,305 --> 00:22:20,849
Well, this real me
that's underneath
532
00:22:20,873 --> 00:22:22,451
the other real me
is the only real me
533
00:22:22,475 --> 00:22:23,952
you're ever gonna
see from now on.
534
00:22:23,976 --> 00:22:26,710
I'm gonna make this the best
Christmas my friends ever had!
535
00:22:26,779 --> 00:22:28,645
Will you do our play?
536
00:22:28,714 --> 00:22:29,725
Of course I will.
537
00:22:29,749 --> 00:22:31,125
Come on, I got
to learn my lines.
538
00:22:31,149 --> 00:22:32,828
Wait a minute, I've got my
bags packed, I got everything...
539
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,117
What do you mean you're packed?
540
00:22:34,186 --> 00:22:36,453
They're going to stay right
here where they belong.
541
00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:38,066
You mean it? I mean it!
542
00:22:38,090 --> 00:22:39,556
Come on, let's go.
543
00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:40,969
What-what-what, what is that?
544
00:22:40,993 --> 00:22:42,804
What is what?
Huh, huh, huh, huh.
545
00:22:42,828 --> 00:22:45,929
If I knew... Oh,
that was nothing.
546
00:22:45,998 --> 00:22:47,531
Let's go.
547
00:22:49,769 --> 00:22:51,502
Felix!
548
00:22:51,570 --> 00:22:53,103
There's Tiny Tim!
549
00:22:53,172 --> 00:22:55,172
Oscar! Oscar!
550
00:22:55,241 --> 00:22:56,741
There's Tiny Tim.
551
00:22:56,809 --> 00:22:58,653
It's Murray! Your old friend.
552
00:22:58,677 --> 00:23:00,488
We're on our way
to costume rehearsal.
553
00:23:00,512 --> 00:23:02,747
Murray. Oh, it is you!
554
00:23:02,815 --> 00:23:05,549
Oh, you don't know what
kind of a scary dream I had.
555
00:23:05,618 --> 00:23:07,584
That's from all that
spicy food you eat.
556
00:23:07,653 --> 00:23:09,131
Yeah, listen, we're
going to go to rehearsal,
557
00:23:09,155 --> 00:23:11,399
and I'm going to be the
best Scrooge there ever was!
558
00:23:12,591 --> 00:23:13,736
God bless you, Oscar,
559
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,160
and God bless us all, every one.
560
00:23:16,229 --> 00:23:19,396
♪ Hark the herald angels sing ♪
561
00:23:19,465 --> 00:23:22,967
♪ Glory to the newborn king ♪
562
00:23:23,035 --> 00:23:26,536
♪ Peace on Earth
and mercy mild ♪
563
00:23:26,605 --> 00:23:30,074
♪ God and sinners reconciled. ♪
564
00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:38,749
You like the nightcap
I stole from the play?
565
00:23:38,817 --> 00:23:40,729
Mm-hmm. It's
very nice, very nice.
566
00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,064
I would have one minor note.
567
00:23:42,088 --> 00:23:43,653
It's a little too nice.
568
00:23:43,722 --> 00:23:45,734
I have the same note
about your performance.
569
00:23:45,758 --> 00:23:47,169
You were just a little too nice.
570
00:23:47,193 --> 00:23:49,304
The kids loved you, but if
you were a meaner man,
571
00:23:49,328 --> 00:23:50,638
the transformation at the end
572
00:23:50,662 --> 00:23:52,274
would have been
sharper, more effective.
573
00:23:52,298 --> 00:23:53,964
Thank you, George Jean Nathan.
574
00:23:54,033 --> 00:23:56,011
I'll wait to see what the
other critics have to say.
575
00:23:56,035 --> 00:23:57,346
Right. What about the tree?
576
00:23:57,370 --> 00:23:59,103
I helped to do that.
That's nice, isn't it?
577
00:23:59,171 --> 00:24:00,916
Very nice. Very, very beautiful.
578
00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:02,717
I have one minor
criticism here, too.
579
00:24:02,741 --> 00:24:03,986
Not important, just a quibble,
580
00:24:04,010 --> 00:24:05,988
but I do think that
your support hose's
581
00:24:06,012 --> 00:24:07,689
not quite the proper
Christmas spirit.
582
00:24:07,713 --> 00:24:09,024
Yeah, but I'm new
at this kind of thing.
583
00:24:09,048 --> 00:24:10,692
Hey, Felix, I got something
I want you to open tonight,
584
00:24:10,716 --> 00:24:11,860
I can't wait. Oh,
no, no, not tonight...
585
00:24:11,884 --> 00:24:12,995
Why not? Tomorrow.
586
00:24:13,019 --> 00:24:14,196
Oh. But I have to
give you one, too.
587
00:24:14,220 --> 00:24:15,220
Okay, let's go.
588
00:24:15,254 --> 00:24:17,535
All right. Now... all right.
589
00:24:24,163 --> 00:24:26,642
"This gift certificate
entitles Mr. Felix Unger
590
00:24:26,666 --> 00:24:30,200
"to select a superior,
all-new air-germ humidifier
591
00:24:30,269 --> 00:24:32,514
and croup kettle
in choice of color..."
592
00:24:32,538 --> 00:24:35,072
Oh, Oscar, it's what
I've wanted so badly!
593
00:24:35,141 --> 00:24:36,874
I thought it would
help your allergies.
594
00:24:36,942 --> 00:24:38,542
It will. Open.
595
00:24:41,547 --> 00:24:43,413
Oh, Felix!
596
00:24:43,482 --> 00:24:44,626
A garbage can
with my initials on it.
597
00:24:44,650 --> 00:24:46,483
Where did you get it?
598
00:24:46,552 --> 00:24:47,832
I had it custom made.
599
00:24:47,887 --> 00:24:50,854
Open the top!
Open the top! Okay.
600
00:24:55,027 --> 00:24:56,672
Merry Christmas, Oscar.
601
00:24:56,696 --> 00:24:58,896
Merry Christmas, Felix.
40723
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