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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,917 --> 00:00:02,877 CODY: Okay, so we hard cut inside the convenience store. 2 00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:04,546 Cody and Barbara enter; they're high as fuck. 3 00:00:04,546 --> 00:00:06,256 And they head to the snack aisle. 4 00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:07,507 BARBARA: Yeah, and then that's probably 5 00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:08,842 where we should introduce Sheila, right? 6 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,386 - Who's Sheila? - You know, the crack whore. 7 00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:13,054 - Oh, the crack sex worker. Yeah. - I mean, the crack sex worker. 8 00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:15,056 - Are we calling her Sheila? - Yeah, why? Do you not like it? 9 00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:16,766 - I don't know. She just doesn't, like, 10 00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:18,768 feel like a Sheila. Maybe Shayna? - [inhales sharply] 11 00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:21,396 Um, I actually do have a cousin named Shayna, 12 00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:22,814 and I kind of worry that she might be, like, offended. 13 00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:24,441 Do you know what I mean? 14 00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:25,817 Like, I don't want her to think I'm making fun of her. 15 00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,236 And, see, the thing that you have to know about Shayna-- 16 00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:29,779 actually really nice to talk... - Okay, but it's not like she's gonna see it. 17 00:00:29,779 --> 00:00:31,614 I mean, it's just a spec script. It's not like it's getting made. 18 00:00:31,614 --> 00:00:33,199 - Okay, well, it won't with that attitude, 19 00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:34,784 that's for sure. [ringtone playing] 20 00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:36,828 Oh, my God, Cody, if it's Dan, do not pick up. 21 00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:38,830 Do not pick up! We're working! Ugh! 22 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:40,749 You fat bitch. You always do this. 23 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:42,500 Ugh, you're gonna come back, and you're gonna be 24 00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:44,169 in a bad mood, and then we're gonna 25 00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:45,420 have to talk about your relationship, 26 00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,297 and I'm gonna have to pretend that I care. 27 00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:48,339 [microwave beeping] 28 00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:52,719 CODY: Well, that's it. 29 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,387 Dan's totally cheating on me. So... 30 00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:56,931 - I know, right? 31 00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:58,308 - Yeah. He's going on that girl Simone's podcast. 32 00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,602 And she is so beautiful. 33 00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,812 - She's honestly stunning. 34 00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:04,898 - They probably haven't gotten physical yet, just because, 35 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,775 like, she seems like this really sweet person. [water splashes] 36 00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:08,693 And she's probably, like... - Super sweet. 37 00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:10,487 - ...considering my feelings, but it's only a matter of time, 38 00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,489 realistically, before, like, they move in together 39 00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:13,406 and, you know, like, start making a family. - Yeah, time. 40 00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:14,949 Realistic. Time. 41 00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:16,701 CODY: I mean, you know, he's a successful guy. 42 00:01:16,701 --> 00:01:18,661 Like, a lot of girls would... - Uh-huh. 43 00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:20,497 [romantic music playing] 44 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:38,807 Who... is... 45 00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:41,142 that? 46 00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:44,687 - Um, I don't know, my downstairs neighbor? 47 00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:46,481 BARBARA: Holy shit! 48 00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:48,525 I mean, you saw it, right? 49 00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:50,985 - See what? - His dick. 50 00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:52,654 It was, like, bulging in his pants. 51 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:55,198 - Oh, my God. - It was, like, pulsating. 52 00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:56,741 And honestly, now that I'm thinking about it, 53 00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:59,077 I think I could see the outline of his balls, too. 54 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,745 - Oh, my God. Dude. Dude. Gross! - What? 55 00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:02,580 - He's, like, 14. 56 00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:05,041 - Okay, so? 57 00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:07,502 I'm seven. He's, like, twice my age. 58 00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:10,463 - I mean, I guess, but still... 59 00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:12,215 - Okay, Cody, shut up. You like older guys, too. 60 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:13,633 Who do you think that was with him? 61 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:14,551 Do you think that was his girlfriend? 62 00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,427 She's busted, right? 63 00:02:16,427 --> 00:02:18,263 I mean, could you believe what she was wearing? It was like... 64 00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:20,056 - Dude, what? No. That's his mom, 65 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:23,101 who he lives with, 'cause he's 14. 66 00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:24,352 - Do you think it'd be, like, really weird 67 00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:25,728 if you set us up or whatever? 68 00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:28,481 - Yes. It would be insanely weird. 69 00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:30,275 Like, what's wrong with you? 70 00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:32,569 - I'm a sex doll, okay? 71 00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,362 I'm sorry that, like, my very nature 72 00:02:34,362 --> 00:02:35,822 is just completely offensive to you. 73 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,699 - Okay, that's obviously not what I meant. 74 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,534 - Forget I even ever brought it up. 75 00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:41,077 It's like, I'm always there for you. 76 00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:42,328 You're literally never there for me. 77 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,455 - Wow. A hard right. 78 00:02:44,455 --> 00:02:46,708 When have I not been there for you? 79 00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,793 - Um, how about, like, ten minutes ago? 80 00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:50,587 The whole thing with my cousin Shayna. 81 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,297 The second I start opening up to you about something, 82 00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:54,424 you just shut me down. 83 00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:57,135 And things are really strained with me and Shayna right now. 84 00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:58,219 No, and, like... - Okay, Barbara, you can't just like... 85 00:02:58,219 --> 00:02:59,429 - Oh, my God, you're doing it again! 86 00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:01,264 - Barbara, this is insane. 87 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,391 And I know that you have, like, some weird hold over me, 88 00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:04,726 where I do all this inappropriate shit for you, 89 00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:07,687 but I am not asking my 14-year-old neighbor 90 00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:09,522 to fuck my boyfriend's used sex doll. 91 00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:14,861 So, um, just in here. 92 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:18,072 Thanks a lot for helping me out with this, Jaxon. 93 00:03:18,072 --> 00:03:19,866 - Sure, it's no problem. 94 00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:22,243 So, um, what do you need moved? 95 00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:25,830 - Um... this couch. 96 00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:28,416 Yeah. It's, uh... 97 00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:30,501 it's in the wrong place, according to feng shui, 98 00:03:30,501 --> 00:03:32,712 so that's... 99 00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:35,215 you know, maybe that's why my life is so messed up, right? 100 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:38,384 - Yeah, um, where do you want it to go? 101 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,139 - Um, here. 102 00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:45,433 Just, like, this-this side... here, kind of. 103 00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,270 So, you're in, um, what, you're in, like, ninth grade? 104 00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:50,063 - Eighth. 105 00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:53,066 - Eighth grade. 106 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:56,069 Great. Cool. 107 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,279 So, that's, like, the grade where you get a... 108 00:03:58,279 --> 00:03:59,822 girlfriend or...? 109 00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:02,075 - No, not really. - No? 110 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,952 - Hey, is this gonna be weird? 111 00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:06,496 Um, 'cause the couch is in front of the fireplace now. 112 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,122 - Oh, huh, I'll just, um... 113 00:04:08,122 --> 00:04:09,999 I just won't use the fireplace anymore. 114 00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:12,627 BARBARA: Yo, where are those nuts at?! 115 00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,379 - Um... 116 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,798 Actually, I have a... 117 00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:20,093 another thing that needs to be moved, and, uh, 118 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:23,012 that thing is in... in my bedroom, so... 119 00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,391 This way. 120 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,850 [pop music playing quietly] 121 00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,644 Oh, my gosh. 122 00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:31,938 I forgot I left out my friend. [chuckles] 123 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,898 Have you seen one of these before? BARBARA: Hey. 124 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:35,275 CODY: They're very cool. 125 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:39,153 They're basically, like, a doll you have sex with, 126 00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:40,905 which is cool. 127 00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:43,157 BARBARA: Okay, he gets it, Cody. - Oh, okay. 128 00:04:43,157 --> 00:04:44,784 - Show him the lube. - [whispering]: I'm not gonna show him the lube. 129 00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,452 This is crazy. 130 00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:49,289 - So, um, what do you need moved in here? 131 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:52,375 - Um, so this is... um, 132 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:55,169 this is my bottle of lubricant. 133 00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:57,130 BARBARA: Tell him that it's lavender hibiscus. 134 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,549 - This smells really good. BARBARA: Cody! 135 00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:01,009 Get out of here. You're weirding him out. JAXON: Uh, you know what? 136 00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:03,469 I actually have piano, so I-I got, I got to go. 137 00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:05,263 - No! No, Cody, don't let him go! 138 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,764 Don't let him go! 139 00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:08,349 Tell him about my new vagina! 140 00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:11,477 - Jaxon, can't you just-- Jaxon. 141 00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:13,479 Will you... will you please just fuck my sex doll?! 142 00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:20,320 What did you think was gonna happen? 143 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,488 He's a kid. He probably doesn't even have pubes. 144 00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:23,948 - You're saying he's out of my league? 145 00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:27,118 - No! What are you... [shudders] 146 00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:29,662 I-- Barbara, I'm sorry. I tried. 147 00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,122 You saw. I tried, okay? 148 00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:33,333 - It's fine. 149 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,335 It's not your fault. 150 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,253 I'm old. 151 00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:38,921 I'm outdated. - Barb... 152 00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:41,716 Barbara, stop. [scoffs] 153 00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:43,843 You want to talk about old and outdated? 154 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:47,180 Like, past her prime? Like, look at me. 155 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,432 - Cody, you realize 156 00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:52,560 I say all that mean shit to you because... 157 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,521 [sighs] I'm jealous. 158 00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:57,857 - What are you talking about? - You're so hot. 159 00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:01,444 - Shut up. No, I'm not. - You are. 160 00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:03,821 You are. You're, like, effortlessly hot. - Shut up. 161 00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:06,240 - And, like, your tits are amazing. 162 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:07,492 - Are you serious? - Yes! 163 00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,786 - My tits are like, eh-- like, who cares? 164 00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,329 Like, they're nothing to write home about. 165 00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,122 - They are so gorgeous. - I'm serious. 166 00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:14,957 - No, they're amazing. - They're not. Feel. 167 00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:17,001 - Yes. - No, I'm being serious. Feel. 168 00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:19,212 Feel. - Ah. 169 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:22,173 Dude, they're literally perfect. 170 00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:24,509 - Um, yours are perfect. - Mine? 171 00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:26,594 I hate my boobs. 172 00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:29,430 They're, like, cold and hard and, like, fake. 173 00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:31,265 - No. Uh, shut up. 174 00:06:31,265 --> 00:06:33,351 - They are. Feel. 175 00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:34,977 [soft pop song playing] 176 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:41,317 - [quietly]: Whatever. They're so nice. 177 00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:44,445 - Thanks. I mean, yours are amazing. [chuckles] 178 00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:48,950 - ♪ I am ready, I am fine. ♪ 179 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:50,785 ♪ 13501

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