All language subtitles for Krows.TRANSformation.2019.1080p.WEB.h264-COALESCENCE

(soft guitar music)

♪ From this moment

♪ I'll never be your slave, no

♪ Just lay here in my own way

♪ From this moment

♪ I can see

- [Krow] I'm Krow, I'm
a transgender male.

I used to be a female model
from the age of 12, till 18.

And when I was 18,

I decided I was gonna
transition into being a male.

I would like to try
again and see if maybe

I can actually
become a male model

after everything that
I've gone through.

♪ From this moment

♪ I can see

♪ I can see me

(soft ambient music)

The first time I thought,
"Wow, I should have been born

a boy instead of a girl," was
probably when I was either

10 or 11 years old, so...

I never really understood the
difference between genders

when I was younger.

I'd always been one of the guys.

I never got along
well with the girls.

It was when they
did sex ed class,

what they did was
they would split us up

into boys and girls.

Yeah, I always
looked out the window

and saw the boys
playing football

and they got to play games
while we had to learn

about what grossness
our body was gonna do

when we got older.

And I was like, "Well,
why can't I just go out

and hang with the boys?

Like, why do I have to sit here

and learn all this gross stuff?

Like, I don't want that
to happen to my body."

But that was probably
the first time I reached

that kind of boundary of,
"Well, what is the difference

between a girl and a guy?"

Is it have to be
physical or emotional?

And I don't know, it was a
really confusing time for me.

Yeah, I started
dressing like a guy

and started getting bullied
pretty bad after that.

For some reason, this kid
just got it in his head

that he didn't like
the way I was dressed.

And he started calling me emo,

which is supposed to
be a slur for a cutter.

So someone who
cuts their wrists.

And the full term
is just emotional.

And then other people
started getting into it

and started believing that
I actually cut myself.

In the first year, like,
I didn't really care much.

I was like, "Well, I'm not."

All my friends kind
of turned on me.

And that's when I
made my best friend.

There's three main
people that have, I feel,

that have supported
me along the way.

- Oh, man. Being
back here is weird.

- [Krow] One of the biggest
ones is definitely Ashton,

my best friend.

He's been with me since
elementary school,

Which grade was it
that I told you?

- [Ashton] Fourth.

- [Krow] Fourth grade.

"Man, I wish I could be a boy."

- Mhm.

- And like, at that time, like,

I just meant it as
like a offhand, like,

"Yeah, life would
be easier as a guy."

- Yeah.

- But like, it
stuck pretty true.

- Oh, the playground.

- [Krow] he was there for
before I transitioned,

when I was questioning myself

but didn't know
about transitioning.

- Touche.

I don't think I did.

awful experiences
of getting bullied

and called whatever
name under the sun.

Being like getting
called emo all the time.

That was a big thing
for both of us.

- [Krow] I would beat kids
up for it, like fully.

The guys would call me
that and I would be like,

knocking them to the ground.

♪ When you insides
are outside crying ♪

Ashton is my only
friend in grade seven.

I literally had
no other friends.

♪ No one know what
sick you've got ♪

- Remember when we used to
pole dance on these things?

- Yes.

♪ If I could break away

♪ If we break away

♪ Can we make it back in time?

I really wanted to
be able to be a boy,

but I knew that
physically I couldn't.

So at that point, I didn't know

that there was
any way to change.

So I figured I might as well
kind of learn how to be a girl,

because I didn't feel
anything naturally

to be able to express myself
as a girl or be feminine.

- Kian came home from a
birthday party and was like,

"Mom, what do you think
about me modeling?"

And this is my daughter
that has been running around

up at the campsite, being
at one of the tom boys

and everything else.

I was like, "Okay, well..."

You know, like any other
thing that your children

come towards you and
want to talk to you about

and want to try out, you
give them the opportunity.

(upbeat electronic music)

The next thing you know,
Kian is off to Japan

as soon as he's old enough.

- [Krow] Modeling in Japan
at 13 was pretty awesome.

(electronic music continues)

First photo shoot, I felt
so awkward and weird.

I had never had photos
taken of me before and like,

felt like I was
attractive in any way.

So yeah, it was
really interesting.

And when they put the
makeup on and did my hair,

I was like, "Oh my gosh,
like I actually look pretty.

I look like a girl
and a nice girl, too."

Wow!

- [Lisa] From there we
have been to China, Taiwan,

Toronto, and Milan.

And then at 15 I started
letting Kian go by himself

because he'd had
that much experience.

(down tempo electronic music)

- [Krow] When I
started high school,

I also started modeling.

That was kind of to show
them like a, "Fuck you guys".

Like, I'm getting money
because I'm beautiful.

And I can go to different
countries and do what I want,

kind of thing.

Just to kinda get back at them.

The whole time with
the bullying, I
figured if I was a guy,

this wouldn't have happened.

If I was a guy, I'd still
be friends with everyone.

Bullying makes you feel like
you shouldn't be around.

You're a burden to people.

And it makes you feel like you,

it would be better if
you just weren't around,

you didn't exist.

Usually I would just go home
and lock myself in my room,

turn all the lights off.

I just couldn't couldn't handle
being in that environment,

being with those kids around.

I would've been 11 when I
first contemplated suicide

and had those really dark days.

The very first time I
thought about being a boy

and why I had been
born a girl instead,

I met a friend in, I
think it was grade nine.

I ended up going
to what they call

an anime convention, with them.

(upbeat pop music)

I found out that this
friend I had just made

was trans, transgender.

And when they brought
me into the group,

a lot of them were either
transgender, or gay, or bi,

or gender fluid.

It was the first
time I had heard

that you could
actually change gender.

When I first went
into the community,

I didn't want to
use my real name.

I already wanted to
use my more male name

that I had given
myself, which is Krow.

I was going by the name
Krow with close friends.

Not regular like,
school friends.

I kind of wasn't
mentioning that to them.

But like, at least the cosplay
community is where I felt

like my family was.

So I told all of
them and was like,

"Yeah, call me Krow,
use male pronouns."

- I think my decision to
transition came gradually,

very gradually.

The last year that I
was in high school,

I was already sort
of like, you know,

binding at school and
dressing more androgynously.

I had a lot of, I don't
know, anger towards myself

about it for a long
time, a lot of guilt.

You know, "Why couldn't
I just be a girl?"

Or, "Why couldn't I
just be cisgender?"

Or, "Why couldn't I
just have like an easy,

straightforward life
that makes sense?"

I was actually 17 and
I was dating a guy

and I was really
in love with him.

And I told him I'm
trans and he dumped me.

And then I was like, "Okay,
I think this is time."

And I, two months later
started at least attempting

to get into a gender clinic
and talk to somebody.

That was like, when I took
the leap and actually came out

and was like, "Yeah, I'm trans
and this is what I'm doing."

- I was Ashton's sounding
board through his transition.

- That's true.

- And then I was like,

I don't wanna seem
like I'm copying you,

but I'm also transgender.

And like, I'm just
scared to do the hormones

and the surgeries at the moment.

I knew I couldn't pretend to
be a girl for that much longer.

It had gotten to a
point, I think it was 16

where I was like, "I
need to be a boy."

In Japan, in Tokyo, was probably
when I first kind of felt

my confidence kind of come back,

what I was okay with,
what I wasn't okay with.

Once I knew that
China was the place

I was gonna be going next, I
knew that was my last trip.

I was also just very dumb.

So I just stopped
kind of caring about

what other people thought.

- China was the last one.

That's been now just
about two years ago.

And Kian had been saying
me for about a year before

that he was thinking
about quitting.

- [Krow] Yeah, when
I was in China,

there was a lot that happened
in China that was just crazy.

I didn't like the way
that being a female model,

how you were kind of treated.

It's like pieces of
meat and, you know,

people look over you and
then look at the next one.

kind of thing.

I had finally had the
last event and was like,

"Well, you know what? I'm
done pleasing people."

And just came back after a job.

I had told my mom,
my agency, before

that I was gonna stop modeling.

It was my last trip.

- [Lisa] And two days before
he was gonna come home,

when he had no more
jobs, he sent me a photo.

And in this photo is the
floor, and a pair of scissors,

and a ponytail
lying on the ground.

- Had to do a ponytail anyway,
took a pair of scissors.

Cut it, didn't care.

I was like, "Well, I'm
a boy now!" (laughs)

Surprise, everyone!

- [Lisa] I didn't realize
at the time when Kian

had chopped off his hair, that
it was about transitioning.

I thought it was just a matter
of putting his foot down,

saying, "Okay, I'm
done with the modeling.

I tried that last time.

Not enjoying it.

Chopping off my hair because
no one is going to want a girl

that looks like
this as a model."

It didn't make sense to
me because this is someone

that has made a career
out of modeling,

being feminine, and
being beautiful,

and wearing makeup,
and gorgeous clothing.

And it's the dream
that all girls have.

She was a princess in
front of the camera.

She was the center of attention
as this beautiful woman.

So where is this
all coming from?

And it's just not
computing in my brain.

- [Krow] Being transgender
was the first thing

that she didn't support
me in to begin with.

So, it was a complete surprise.

I thought she would
take it like, "Okay."

And then I thought she
would be asking questions

and then elaborating, and
then trying to learn about

being transgender with me.

- I have given
Kian a six months,

"I don't want to hear
about this at all.

I'm not gonna have a
discussion with you at all

until the six months is up."

- She didn't wanna discuss it.

She didn't wanna hear about it.

She said, "Wait six
months before we have

this discussion again.

And don't try to talk to
me about it in between."

- This six month waiting period
was more about specifically

our relationship
and what I have seen

and how I'm gonna process it.

Make sure you are a
hundred percent clear on,

"This is what I want."

- I had to still be a female,

even though she knew
for that whole time.

And yeah, it was
really hard for that.

- I knew that you were
like, trying to push me

and make sure that I'm
making the right decision,

but it was still
hard on me, so...

- Exactly. And I purposely
made it hard on you.

- [Krow] I had no
idea how to feel,

'cause it felt like
I lost a parent.

So yeah, it was hard for
that first six months.

- With the way that Kian
was with his friends

and everything else
and all of a sudden

there's one that
is transitioning.

Then there's another one

that's thinking
about transitioning.

And then there's another
one that isn't quite sure

what they wanna do.

And then all of a sudden
Kian is coming on about,

"What you think about
me being a boy?"

So I didn't really
take it seriously.

I thought it was just a
fad that's gonna go on.

And he's gonna just, you
know, like typical teenagers,

he's gonna just be interested
in something for a while

and then he's gonna let it go.

If Kian had come to
me at 18 years of age,

when this really now became
a solidified thing happening,

and said, "I wanna get married.

I'm getting married tomorrow."

That's a life choice,

but you can get out
of that life choice.

There is a way out.

- It was really difficult on me.

I was very anxious wondering
if you were gonna be

okay with it or not.

what I felt would have
to be what I do for me.

It got to the point that
I was like at five months,

I was starting to think like,

maybe I should just do
the hormones without her.

"Well, it started so
you can't stop me."

If I had to pretend
that I was a female

for the rest of my life, I
probably wouldn't make it

through the year.

- When the six months was over

and it was time
to start talking,

and I said, "Okay, I have a
couple questions for you."

I said, "My biggest
question," I said,

and this is where my
confusion personally came in.

I said, "You were the
one that came to me.

You're the one that
wanted to do this job

that is so feminine.

And now you want this,
so you can understand

there's gonna be
a little push me,

pull you confusion going on."

And he looked at me and goes,

And it's like, "Okay,
you don't have to.

I don't have no more questions.

I'm in a hundred percent.

What do you need?

And I'm there for you."

And we've just gone
literally balls to the walls.

Even with doing things wrong,

I think that's
part of parenting.

We're gonna make mistakes.

And instead of beating
myself up about

what I could have
done differently,

the biggest thing
is just to remember

that this is the
person that you love.

- [Krow] Dexter!

- [Dexter] Hey!
How are you doing?

- [Krow] Hey!

- [Lisa] And that
hasn't changed.

And remember how scary it
is for them to come forward

and to come to you and just say,

"This is what's
happening with me.

I need you."

And that's what coming out is,

is they're saying they need you.

- This is gonna be last
photo shoot as a female

before I get my
testosterone shot.

So yeah, it's the last
hurrah basically, so...

- We're gonna make this count.

You see, we're gonna have
like three sets here.

- [Lisa] You hope
your child believes

that you love them enough,

that no matter what.

And when you have those
moments that all of a sudden

you realize that your child
is afraid, is so lost,

when you think
they're so grounded,

is really, really hard.

And that's also a moment
that you have to realize

it has absolutely
nothing to do with you.

It's about them.

It's about what they need,
not about what they want.

And you're failing as a
parent if you don't listen.

And if you don't give
your child what they need,

that's your failing.

You're not failing
because your child

isn't what you thought
they should be.

You're failing because
you're not letting your child

be who they need to be.

(Krow laughs)

- [Dexter] You look great.

- Well, I might
thicken out a little.

- [Dexter] Are you?

- [Lisa] Maybe gets 110
pounds instead of a hundred.

- Yeah, just pure muscle.

I don't know.

I feel like even
after I transition,

I'll probably still wear some
like female-ish clothing,

'cause, you know, once you're
confident then it's like,

guys can look good while
wearing feminine clothes, so...

- [Lacey] It's all working
so well, so excited.

- [Dexter] You're
making this easy for us.

- [Lacey] Yeah! (laughs)

- [Krow] I hope to see
my face get a bit more

kind of manly features
'cause I have very soft

and refined feminine features.

So, yeah, I'm hoping to get
that like, where it gets

like, the slight muscle
that comes right there.

- [Dexter] I'm excited about
the prospect of shooting Kian

after the transformation
is complete.

I was like, "Yeah,
yeah, yeah, let's do it.

Let's do it."

I'll be part of this,
you know, from the first,

you know, from this shoot
before that transformation

and then be a part of it
after, so I'm excited.

What I can't wait to see is
like, how he's gonna fill out.

Right? And see how he's
gonna look, you know,

from every sense.

(upbeat r&b music)

For the story, you know,
making it gender neutral.

But I really love the
content that we got.

Really love the shots we got.

(music continues)

Yeah, like that.

When I was told about
this story, I was like,

so, so excited to
be a part of it.

You're amazing.

(crew laughs and applauds)

- [Krow] Today it's
a giant step for me.

Start on me and my journey
to being a guy finally.

Even though we had a rocky
start between me and my mom

for when I first came
out as being transgender,

after she started
understanding it

and understanding that this
was a choice that I had to make

and that it wasn't just
the new thing to do,

once she understood that
I truly meant to do this

with all my heart,
she supported me

through absolutely everything,

and was there every
step of the way.

I just went in and
got my prescription,

my little testosterone vial.

That means I'm going to be
starting testosterone soon.

And I'm so excited about it.

It's official, it's starting.

- [Lisa] I get to be really
lucky and have puberty twice

with one child.

(laughs)

This is gonna be fun.

Skin oiliness and acne,
facial and body hair growth.

Scalp hair loss.

- Yes.

- [Lisa] So you might
be my bald, gay son.

Clitoral enlargement.

Apparently we're gonna have
to have a little looser pants

on you, from my understanding.

- [Krow] Now she's
like my biggest fan.

- Yeah. Oh yeah.

You got the big
guns going on there.

Body fat
redistribution. (laughs)

- [Krow] She's just been
happy to try to help out

in any way she can.

She's so proud of me.

So it's an amazing feeling.

- Benefits, means it
is a permanent change.

Thinning and atrophy of
vaginal tissues. So yeah.

- Which we'll get removed.

It's okay.

I went in to get my first shot.

It represents probably
one of the biggest steps

I'm gonna be taking
in this whole process.

(mellow ambient music)

Kind of the first real big step

that's being able to get
my body to start changing,

my voice to start changing.

Everything's kind of being
more the way I want to be.

- [Lisa] This was a big one.

My child is now
becoming masculine.

♪ Happy birthday to you, hey!

♪ Happy birthday to you, ho!

♪ Happy birthday dear Kian

- [Child] Kian!

- [Lisa] It's a big day.

♪ Happy birthday to you

(group cheers)

I'm gonna touch on something
that I thought about

after the fact.

So the other day you
did that photo shoot.

- Yeah.

- [Lisa] I have watched
you in front of a camera

for years now.

12 and a half years old.

I have seen many, many,
many, many photo shoots

that you've done.

I have never seen the
confidence that I saw in you

the other day when you got
in front of that camera,

being you.

That was really, really cool.

And that's something I hope
that you follow up with

and do more with.

- First time assigned
from the clinic

after I got my prescription
for the vial of testosterone.

Sorry.

(audience applauds)

- [Kas] So we're here just
to support pretty much

trans youth and educating
and saving lives.

That's the goal.

(soft guitar music)

♪ It's not that easy
to go back in time ♪

♪ It's no secret that I
put my heart on the line ♪

♪ You stand watching me fall

♪ But not to catch me

- [Krow] Meeting Kas
was absolutely amazing.

- I'm kind of curious as to
like the biggest kind of thing

you're feeling right now.

- I've noticed I've
been a lot happier.

Seeing him be like absolutely
confident in himself.

- "Oh, I have man shoulders now.

This is awesome.
This is perfect.

This is, okay, I wanna stand
a little taller now." (laughs)

- [Krow] Them not being
afraid to just, I don't know,

just be a person.

- It's kind of cool
like, going through just

talking to someone
who's going through it.

'Cause I feel like I've been
so isolated in terms of,

from the transgender community.

'Cause I came up
like pretty like.

- Early, early.

- Early and like, alone.

Like, I didn't know any
other transgender people.

I didn't have anyone
who's going through it.

I honestly don't even remember

how I first heard
the term transgender.

Like, I've always
wanted to be a boy.

You know, when I was two,
I was asking everyone

when my penis was gonna grow
in like all the other boys

and I was sorely
disappointed to find out

that that would
never happen for me.

I've just like known all along.

So, I mean at 17 I came out
and coming to that realization

was just really like, like
a brief moment of clarity.

And then literally, you
know, no one else knew.

I was terrified to
tell my girlfriend.

I was terrified to
tell everyone else.

And no matter how many people
you have supporting you,

no matter how many
people you have

trying to understand
how you feel,

there will never be anyone
that will understand

the inner struggle that
you've had to go through.

And the changes you're
gonna have to go through

to get to where you want to be.

And you know, that's where the
community really helps out.

- So this is basically the
sort of non-book trans area.

So you've got a
few binders here.

I have a half one on
right now just because

I find it easier to
slip in if I'm kind of

quickly gonna go do something.

Though, I do prefer
the longer ones.

So it would be like
a full one like this.

- [Ken] Like a tank top almost.

- Yeah.

And the one I have has
has the binding part

only about up to here.

And then kind of like a
swimsuit-ish fabric down here.

- [Ken] Right, right.

- So it's like Under Armour.

So then I just fold that
up to about here halfway

and then hold onto where
the actual tough binding is

and then try to
like, slide it on.

It's good.

so that it's evenly flat.

But yeah, aside from
that, for the first while

it feels kind of
tight 'cause your body

has to get used to it.

And also the binder
itself has to kind of

shape to your body too.

I used to be a small,
small D to a large C,

and then after binding, it
has actually flattened down

and it's not as
firm, I've noticed.

So it got a little smaller, yay.

- I don't really
feel like I identify

with that part of my body.

And in fact, one of the
things that I dealt with

in my early like, dysphoria
that I knew it was dysphoria

was like binding all
day and then coming home

and taking my binder
off and being like,

"Whoa!"

Like, "That's my body."

I completely would like
dissociate from that.

And not even remember
that I like had breasts

and then I'd come home
and be like, "Okay, dang."

- I'll come out of the shower.

Like I won't even
think about it.

I'll come out of the shower
and like be getting dressed

and be like, "Time to
put my binder back on."

And I like look down,
I'm like, "Whoa."

Don't look down!
- Yeah.

Don't look down.!
- Yeah.

- I know the feeling.

Yeah, don't look
down as like a trans

rule of showering, I think.

- [Ken] So these are sort
of the higher end ones,

are what's this
particular company.

So they actually look
much more realistically

like a penis, for sure.

- [Krow] And they even feel it.

I've seen my friends have it.

- And they actually feel
more, yeah. they're soft.

They've got like real mushy
flush material, kind of.

- My friends let me grab one in

and like start spinning it.

- Spinning it
around, yeah. (laugh)

And this is more like a dildo.

So you could wear this in
like a harness or whatever

and you can actually
have sex with this.

You can basically
interact, right?

- [Krow] Yeah.

you can also add
testicles on your own.

Even add a vibration to
the testicles if you want.

- [Krow] Oh, that's interesting.

- [Ken] So you can
get a little bit

of extra boost for fun.

And then this, you can
wear it as a packer

and then you can actually
stand and pee in a urinal

if you want to, so you
don't have to use a stall

or be a stall man.

- Interesting.

The only thing would be like,
would you be able to clean it

like right there on the spot?

- You probably have to do
like a little Kleenex sponge.

- Yeah, that would
be a little weird

to try cleaning for
the first while, yeah.

- But I can assure you that

some straight guys
are dribblers.

(laughs)

- When I first got a packer,
it was kind of like around

the same time I got a binder.

I just like went on gung
ho and wanted everything.

I was just like, "I
want it all at once."

I got the pack and pee.

Like, I worked construction.

So it was just
super uncomfortable

like, moving around
all the time.

I literally just got
lazy that I'd tried it on

and it would be really
awesome and feel like, great.

And then like the band
would loosen like,

it cause it was just
like some elastic.

Got to the point
where I was just like,

"You know what?

I'm just gonna nix this
because it's just taken up

way too much of my time."

Like, I mean like I'm not even
adjusting my balls anymore.

I'm just like, I'm just
adjusting my strap all the time.

(laughs)

- At this point I'm like,
okay, , medical things

have come along far enough
that now I will have the option

probably within the
next three to five years

of having an actual transplant,

which would provide
feeling and functionality.

So I'm going to be
waiting with that.

But if that hadn't happened,

if they hadn't done the
first successful one,

then I would've already
been on the waiting list

for getting the surgery,
the bottom surgery.

- It's scary to go under
the knife for something

that's not, you know,
medically necessary.

Scary when it is
medically necessary too.

But it's scarier almost when
it's like a box you're ticking.

Like, "Yes, I sign
my rights away.

"Yes, I sign my pulse
away," potentially.

Like, it's scary.

- Like the big, "Okay, I'm
not ready for this yet,"

was that, you know, like
they'll cut everything

and kind of, I guess,
pull it out in a sense

and you have to take
like a massive skin graft

from your arm or your leg.

And I'm kinda like looking like,

"Hey, well like what
do I want tattooed

on my dick at this point?"

(both laugh)

So, I opted to wait to see
if science would improve.

- [Ken] The trans
community is really kind of

going through a big
awakening in the same way

that queer community did
sort of in the sixties

and seventies kind of.

It used to be sort
of queer studies

with a little bit
of transgender.

And now it's transgender with
a little bit of queer studies.

So like this last Pride, we
ordered more transgender flags

than we've ever ordered before.

And we still sold
out before Pride.

- Wow.

(crowds cheering)

(upbeat techno music)

- Here it has the choice.

This means that I can start
applying for my name change.

Once I have this and
everything is approved,

then I'm gonna start going
to my job as male only.

Luckily my job is very
generic and gender neutral.

What I do for work is
background actor, or extra.

So as soon as these
papers go through,

then I'm going to have
a lot more confidence

to be able to tell people that
if they're asking questions,

just be like, "Well I'm
male and I want to be cast

as male only roles."

The makeup people have been
asking me, oh, it's kind of,

some of them just look, but
others that know that I'm trans

they're like, "Okay, so when
are you going to start shaving

your little mustache thing"

I'm like, "Ah, I want to shave!"

Here is my attempt to
shave for the first time.

(laughs)

- [Lisa] I won't get into great
details about Kian's father.

His father had decided not
to be part of his life,

at least at that point in time.

And it's stayed that way.

So I knew I was gonna be a
single parent right off the bat.

And I was fine with that.

It was never, never
an issue whatsoever.

- [Krow] Two years
later after he had me,

he had another kid with
someone who is now his wife,

and then another two years
after that, he had another kid.

So he never wanted to talk
to me previous to that.

And that even though he
couldn't handle responsibility

of a kid that all of a
sudden two years later,

"Oh, he can handle a kid
and a wife and another kid.

And not even bother
trying to talk to me

when I was still
under 10 years old."

Yeah, no.

(soft piano music)

- [Lisa] When I was
pregnant with you,

I kept having a dream.

And I had a dream about
me walking with my son

along the beach.

And it happened over,
and over, and over again.

And it was a very
specific dream.

So, go ahead and open it.

And we now have a
painting of me with my son

when he was a child.

- [Krow] Mom!

- [Lisa] This is the
one and only picture

that my son and I have of
him being a young child,

and him being my son.

I hope you really enjoy it.

- [Krow] I love it.

- Oh God. Here we go.
(laughs) Waterworks.

- Thank you, Mom.

- So it's been almost eight
months, seven and a half so far.

Yeah, it's been going good.

My voice stopped
kind of dropping.

So, my period also came back.

So, my doctor had
me up the dosage.

So, right now, just waiting
for that to kind of kick in.

Just mentally, I was at
a block where I couldn't

give myself the shot.

So I had to get
my friend to do it

or go in and get the
doctors to do it.

So I'm still kind of new at it.

I haven't messed up
yet, but you know,

there's always the chance.

All right, so you have
it upside down that way

you don't have any bubbles.

Do some taps.

Now we're going to unscrew this

and this goes in
the sharp container

and you never have
to look at it again.

Scary needle is gone.

And now we get to
do the needle stuff.

Go until you have
that little droplet

and then we're gonna
grab an area here.

(takes a deep breath)

(tense music)

Oh no, I'm tripping
myself out. (chuckles)

All right, I can do this.

Oh my gosh.

Oh no, I can't do this.

Just don't deal with it.

(takes a deep breath)

(soft guitar music)

♪ I breathe you in

♪ I feel you sinking
into my blood ♪

♪ You're under my skin

♪ The taste of you
is not enough ♪

♪ I'm slowly letting go

♪ Of all my inhibitions

- [Kas] Starting, you know,
grade eight, grade nine,

that self-awareness
when you're really aware

of how you look, your body,
the changes that are happening

as you're going through puberty,

looking in the mirror was
the hardest thing for me.

Like, I just wanted to break
the mirror every single time.

I absolutely hated what I saw.

That amount of self hate,

like there's a lot
of destructive habits

that come out of that.

Alcohol, and smoking,
and you know, like pills

and a lot of that
kind of thing, right?

Suicide attempts and
just a lot of self harm.

Instead of cutting
myself, I would go home.

I would blast music as
loud as it would go.

And I would just like
repeatedly smack my head

against the wall until I was
so numb and so lightheaded.

For me, it wasn't about feeling
a different kind of pain.

It was about not feeling at all.

I did that quite a bit and
that's definitely something

that I've later on in life
suffered a lot of concussions.

- [Nancy] I never knew
about the head bashing.

I knew there was blackness.

I just didn't know how I
could communicate with him.

You know, we tried
to go to a counselor

and it seemed like
such a private journey.

And we, as parents just
felt totally powerless.

There was a brick
wall around him.

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

♪ Turn and face the strange

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

♪ It's gonna have to
be a different man ♪

He has lived this by himself.

Not because we didn't
want to be there with him,

but again, that brick
wall was so thick.

- The closest time I
think I came to like,

actually just killing
myself, was I just drank

and swallowed a ton of pills.

And as much as I hated myself,

and as much as I wanted to die,

in that moment, I panicked.

There was some glimmer
that was telling me

that I don't want to die.

Like, that's not over yet.

And I ran to my
mom and woke her up

and I ended up
throwing everything up.

- Huh...

It's horrible.

You feel powerless and that's
the hard thing to deal with.

Can't believe I'm crying about
it all these years later.

It stays.

And that was, in some ways,
as horrible as it was,

it was the first time
that he allowed me in.

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

♪ Turn and face the strange

I just thank my lucky
stars I still have him.

♪ It's gonna have to
be a different man. ♪

- [Kas] My mom is just hands
down the most incredible person

on this Earth because
I can honestly say

that if I did not have my
mom, I wouldn't be here today.

♪ I could wait for
you to change ♪

♪ But what good would that do?

- [Nancy] I appreciate
every day that I have my son

and I'm able to feel
admiration and amazement

and the courage that
your child needs to have

and that my child
has, to be who he is.

And really it's
just about gender.

He's still the same
person I gave birth to.

The envelope has
changed a little bit
and we celebrate that,

but I'm just really lucky
to have him with us still.

♪ You're the devil

♪ The devil in disguise

(audience applauds)

There was an urgency for Kas.

For him, he just needed to
have that physical surgery

in order to feel that
he could go forward.

- [Kas] I went for chest
surgery out in Florida.

It all happened so fast.

I remember him unwrapping,
but I looked down and said,

"Holy fuck, they're gone."

And it was just like, you
know, I had these tiny nipples

that were just like
sewn right back on.

And it was just like, I
had a complete flat chest

for the first time in my life.

That was for me the point
where I started to feel

even remotely
comfortable in my body.

- [Krow] We're at
the surgeon's office.

We're gonna go see him
and he's gonna be the one

that's gonna be doing the
breast reduction surgery for me.

So we're gonna do
the consultation and
he's gonna sit down

and talk with me and make
sure that I'm familiar

with the procedure.

- How long have you
been considering

the surgery side of this?

- Since I was 16.

- And you're...

- I am 21 now.

(quiet ambient music)

- So you can imagine you
take something this big

and bring it down to
something like that,

you'll get pleats
around the edges.

That generally settles down.

We try to get these scars
as symmetrical as we can.

Okay. All right.

- Awesome. Thank you very much.

All right, here we are.

New name!

Gender marker, so my
gender marker is now male.

When people ask for my ID,

I don't have to look
at them awkwardly

as they like look
at my gender marker

and look at my face
and like, "Huh?"

One of the first questions
I get from non-transgender

and straight people
is, "You're trans.

Does that mean you like girls?"

It is probably one of the
most common questions I get

and all the time I'm like,

"No, just because I'm trans
does not mean I'm into girls."

It's actually, for
me specifically,

it's the exact opposite.

I have a phobia of female parts.

And even the thought
of being with like,

a physically female
person is just like,

not in my registry
and like, I couldn't.

I couldn't.

- I've always been
attracted to girls

and that hasn't changed.

Like I, you know, and
like, that's just me.

I mean, I was a lesbian,
I identified as a lesbian

before I transitioned
into a male.

So, you know, I technically
went from gay straight.

- Whereas for me
it's the opposite.

Going from straight to gay.
- Straight to gay.

Yeah, 'cause at some
point in your life,

if you're trans and
you like people,

you're going to be
gay at some point.

- Or at the very least bisexual

- [Krow] Or at least bisexual.

- Yeah, I mean it's gonna be...

- You're gonna fit in that
section at some point,

unless you're just like,
"No, I don't like people.

Just never touch me."

- Just stay away.

- Just stay away.

- [Jane] Today, I'm incredibly
pleased to see our government

is taking the next step by
amending the human rights code

to include explicit language
that reaffirms the fact

that transgender persons are
clearly protected by the law.

- All those in
favor, please rise.

(group applauds)

- [Spencer] On a day like
today where we introduce

legislation to change
our human rights code,

to finally exclusively
protect transgender people,

I'm incredibly excited.

- [Kas] You know,
transitioning is like,

it's a personal battle.

And then it's also
a battle trying to

represent yourself in society.

And try to express
yourself without fear,

the reassurance and safety
that we don't have to be scared

to be ourselves.

It sets a good precedent
for other, you know,

demographics of Parliament
and also other countries even.

I think it can apply
to everyone everywhere.

- [Jane] One more
recommendations was, of course,

to support the gay straight
alliances in schools

and basically to beef
up the human rights code

to include everybody.

And so it was very
exciting to include

gender identity and
gender expression.

- All right, so I'm actually
gonna be getting my,

oh, what's the name of it?

Hysterectomy.

I'm gonna be getting
that done soon.

And that's where they remove
all the internal female parts.

- Kian never got nervous,
which I found really odd.

I was getting more nervous
just thinking about him

and what he had to go through.

And trip out there, got him
up early in the morning.

He was obviously
a little groggy,

but he was doing just fine.

- Getting ready to go to the
hospital, get my surgery.

- [Lisa] And then they said,
when we got to the hospital,

staff, they were
fantastic, by the way.

Really, really
great people there.

- [Krow] No one judged me.

Actually the first nurse
to come when I was actually

positioned in a proper
room, was a male nurse.

And he was really
enthusiastic about

me doing the changeover.

And he's like, "Yeah,
I was wondering about,

I looked at the patient
file and it was like,

'Oh, a male, but in
for hysterectomy.'"

And he was a little
confused about that.

And then when he saw
me, he understood.

He was like, "Oh, okay."

And yeah, he was really
thought that I was changing

for myself was really cool.

And he was really
supportive of that.

So that was really
fun having that.

I think, personally, it's
a risk that you should be

willing to take if this
is what you really want.

'Cause a lot of this comes
with being transgender,

comes with the risk
of being judged.

Thus far, I haven't
been judged negatively.

I've had a lot of people like,

"Oh, but you make
such a pretty girl."

And I'm like, "But I
also make a pretty man."

Then they have this
weird, puffy heater.

So, waiting to see the surgeon

and get everything sorted out.

- It wasn't that much
longer after that,

that they took him into surgery.

And then it hit me
like a ton of bricks

when it had just happened.

Taking a deep breath, he's
just gone into surgery.

So I'll let you
know how it went.

When the surgery had happened
and Krow stayed overnight

at the hospital and I went home.

And I didn't have
to be on for him.

I didn't have to be
making sure he was okay.

I didn't have to do
all of these things.

Here come the tears.

I sat back and poured
myself a drink.

And I said goodbye
to my daughter.

(soft piano music)

And then I poured
myself a second drink.

I said hello to my son.

for a few hours now. ve be

And yeah, everything's
been good.

- He did just fine,
the doctor said.

The surgeon said that
everything went really,

really, really textbook.

- [Krow] So yeah,
it's been really good.

And they just do those
three small incisions

and they can take
out an entire organ.

Plus the little side extras.

- We'd even talked a little
bit about maybe saving eggs

and maybe in the future and
doing all of these things.

And the reality is, is
that neither one of us

is that important that it
is a bloodline going on.

If Kian is in the position
that he finds a man

that he loves and wants to
marry and they wanna raise

a family and they adopt kids,

or maybe his husband to
be has their own children,

or has his own children.

Who knows?

- Oh, she'll be
happy if I adopt,

because then she can
have like cute Korean

or Japanese grandson. (laughs)

That's one of the things that
even when I was modeling,

and I was like, "Oh my
God, look at all these

beautiful Korean stars."

And she was like, "Well,
I'm gonna have it.

I'm gonna have a Japanese or
Korean grandson, aren't I?"

I'm like, "Probably, but might
not be from me." (laughs)

- There's no regrets.

This is the right
thing to do for him.

There's no doubt in my mind.

I think he's doing
the right thing.

I've never seen my kid
so happy, so relaxed,

so comfortable in his own
skin as he is right now.

And each one of these
steps is just making that

happen even more so, yeah.

It's, you know, you do what
you do for your kid, right?

(soft guitar music)

- A lot of the songs
we write are about,

let's say love and loss,
struggle, overcoming struggle.

And in the end, just
kind of finding a peace.

♪ Go to sleep with
a restless mind ♪

♪ Broken thoughts keep
wasting my time, ♪

♪ Hold my head and
I drink instead ♪

♪ Blur the visions
of you in my head ♪

- [Emily] That's
a big thing for us

is to just get our
music out there,

really share our
stories with them

because I don't think that
we're alone in how we feel.

Our songs are really a
story about those things.

So I think that it could
connect with a lot of people

and make an impact in some way.

♪ Promises and empty eyes

♪ We like to think we
were just killing time ♪

♪ When I get over you

♪ I will pretend we're
better off instead ♪

(soft guitar music)

- [Kas] The minute I saw Emily,

I just knew that this
person was different.

It was like love at first sight.

- I can't really explain it.

We were just drawn
to each other.

I have no words to explain it.

It's just honestly
kind of like magnets.

- I walked in and I was
just like, speechless.

- He like, walks in,
doesn't talk to me at all.

- Because I mean,
you think like,

"Beautiful girl, I'm making
an ass out of myself,

I need to leave."

And Emily thought I hated her.

- I thought that he was either
really shy or hated my guts.

- I thought she
thought I was an idiot.

And I was trying
to not, you know,

progress further down that road.

- For the first two
months that I knew him,

he would barely speak to me.

- And our first conversation
that we just kind of

really clicked was
we were at a party

and we both happened
to be there.

And we just had this like
long conversation about stars.

- We were talking about
the stars or something.

And that was the first time we
had ever had a conversation.

And that was the first
time he would ever

actually like, speak to me.

And then after that,

we just kind of
became inseparable.

- But after that
conversation we clicked

and then we just
had a ton in common

and we were just kind
of finishing each
other's sentences.

- Yeah, it was then
that we kind of just

moved into a relationship
and it felt exactly

how it was supposed to go.

- [Kas] Well, the wedding
will be backyard barbecue,

but still kind of traditional.

So we're gonna be having
it on my parents' acreage

on Vancouver Island.

Just our family, our close
family and our close friends.

♪ I've always loved you

♪ From the day we met

♪ Your skin on mine darling

♪ Something I can't forget

♪ I'll always love you

♪ Even as we grow old

♪ Your eyes take me home

♪ Hold me down slow

- [Kas] Emily knew I was
trans from the very beginning,

obviously it has
never interfered

with our relationship at all.

- I think he had a harder
time with it than I did

in the beginning of
our relationship,

'cause he was scared
that I would leave.

And I think that had been
some of his experiences, too,

previously, is that he was
like often compared to being

not enough of a man.

And to me, he was perfect.

- [Kas] But I'm so fortunate
that I have someone

who's so proud of the
fact that I'm trans

and so proud of the
fact that I am who I am.

And that does follow
straight through

her entire family as well.

- Emily is totally
in love with Kas.

When she met Kas she
phoned us and she said,

"Mom, I met this guy and
you're gonna totally,

totally fall in love with him.

And I've never felt
like I could be

more me with anybody."

- [Emily] My family
was ecstatic.

My mom, she loves him so much.

Like, sometimes I think
even more than me.

So it's just...

- I love Kas.

- So do I.

I have nothing but
respect for the man.

He's a wonderful person and
I can't ask for anymore.

- [Officiant] Will you give
your children your blessing?

- Yes.

- [Officiant]
Awesome. Thank you.

You may use...(group laughs)

Family is really important
to both Emily and Kas.

(dog barks)

(group laughs)

Yes, and you're family too.

And join your left
hands and arms together

so that your wrists and
pulses are touching.

- [Michael] When Emily
came along and fell in love

with my son, I was
so proud and thrilled

that my one concern I had
was that he'd found somebody

to love him as a human
being, as a man that he is.

I'm so proud of him.

It's just, I need
to understand him,

what he went through,
and I don't understand.

And honestly we need to talk
and talk lots, he and I,

about his experience.

I wanna listen to
him, everything,

the whole journey
he went through.

For me anyway, it's a continuing
education on transgender.

Whatever happens in the future,

we're gonna be
there for our kids.

And that's, as far as we are
concerned, is all that counts.

- You make me happier than
I ever thought I could be.

And I will spend
the rest of my life

trying to make you
feel the same way.

- [Emily] Kas, I vow to
always have your back,

to each day, show you
how much I love you.

I vow always be your
best friend, partner,

and number one supporter.

No matter what life throws our
way, I will always be yours.

- [Officiant] Emily
and Kas, it is my honor

and absolute delight
to now pronounce you

officially married.

(group cheers)

Begin it now with a kiss.

(group applauds)

♪ Hold me down slow

♪ Hold me down slow

♪ Hold me down slow

♪ Hold me down slow

(soft vocalizing)

- [Krow] When I had
my chest surgery,

when it kept getting
rescheduled, and rescheduled,

and rescheduled, it was to
the point that I was like,

"If I don't get this
done before my birthday,

I'm just gonna take..."

I'm just like in such a frantic
state that I'm just gonna

take a knife to my chest
and just do it myself,

and have the hospital deal
with whatever repercussions.

- You don't wanna let
things get out of control,

'cause then you
have to take more.

And then the flip side
you don't wanna...

- [Krow] So it was
very taxing for me

to have to deal with such
intense body dysphoria

and hating myself physically
for such a long time.

And then having it be so
close that I can make a change

and then having it
be taken away from me

and taken away from me
over and over again.

- For some reason, something
seems like really lopsided

than everything else.

- [Krow] So yeah, I just,
I definitely got into some

bad head spaces in between, but
was able to pull through it.

Now this is the
real mushroom hair.

Bye, Mom.

(soft vocalizing)

(vocalizing continues)

Hey, look at you!

- How's it going?

- Got a new haircut
since the last I saw you.

Good to see you again.

- Nice to you too.

How was it?

- It was good.

I had to like reschedule
'cause I got an infection.

So that was really
annoying to deal with.

- [Kas] You've
waited long enough.

- Exactly.

- There's an emergency all
of a sudden you're like,

"That can't...like, I've already
got my hopes set on this."

- It's been two
years, let me have it.

- Like, how was it when
the bandages came off

and you saw your chest
for the first time?

Amazing?

- Good. Yeah.

I mean, I still have like
a tiny hole in my nipple

'cause the stitch
like healed funny

and then it was stuck in there.

So I had to like get tweezers
and take it out, yeah.

- [Kas] That sounds awkward.

You don't have any
other scars, like?

- No, well aside I think that
the scars from the tubes,

so drainage tubes, those
are probably gonna be like,

more scar than
nipples themselves.

So, you know, so yeah.

How did you feel after your
whole surgery situation?

- (chuckles) I think I'm
stronger also personally

and like emotionally
after having endured it.

It was part of the process to
get to feeling great, right?

But I don't regret a
single second of it.

- [Krow] Yeah, it's hard to
regret something that like

has such a positive
impact on your life

- Yeah, that changes
your life long-term.

The small hardship
for the long-term

gain and benefit, right?

- [Krow] Oh yeah.

(soft vocalizing
and guitar music)

This is coming up to
almost three years

since I started testosterone,

but definitely three
years since I decided

to start transitioning and
just kind of go for it.

And I can definitely see a
large improvement in my life

and how I'm feeling,
how I feel about

how other people perceive me,

and just generally
living as a guy.

Hey.

- [Dexter] Hey, there he is.

- [Lacey] How are you?

- Doing good.

- It's good to see you.

- [Krow] I definitely view
myself as just a gay man

able to do or wear
whatever is obviously

like, socially acceptable.

But I think that it comes
more from a confidence

of being who I am and
comfortable with who I am

and who I'm presenting
as, versus before,

where I would be very like
afraid to be seen a certain way

or thought of as
a certain thing.

- The last time we were here
was this exact same space.

That was about two
and a half years ago.

I wanted to continue, you know,

something a little
bit different.

- Sweet.

- [Dexter] Let's go take a look.

How have you been?
- [Krow] Doing good.

- You better put on some weight.

- I'm attempting,
slowly but surely.

- [Lacey] So I really
kind of wanted to do more

of the street kind of vibe.

'Cause I think you have a really
good look to pull that off.

- What do you think?

- New and fresh?

- Yeah.
- Absolutely.

Well, something that you
know we've done before,

but now in, you know,
now we're doing it

with a whole new set of clothes.

and we'll get that
out of you today.

- Oh, hell yeah.

- I feel like it's based
around you a little bit.

'Cause you have a really
cool, unique style.

- Thank you.

- [Lacey] And I think you
can pull all this off.

Really cool pants.

- Oh yeah. I got
the white jeans.

(both laugh)

- [Lacey] Yeah, that's kind
of what I'm aiming for.

Awesome.

- So the biggest change that
I noticed from the last time

we worked together is
how happy you look.

You are radiating
happiness and confidence.

It really, really shows
and it's very nice to see.

- If he stands up straight.

If he stands up straight,
this'll be cut off.

So now you have her
to not piss off.

(laughs)

That's what you gotta do.

- Yo, yo yo.

- [Dexter] Think about
it in a very like,

"I don't give a
shit" kind of look.

It's not about, you
know, looking pretty

and that sort of thing.

Have this out.
- Lean back.

Yeah, lean back.

Do these kinds of movements.

And you can even
give me profile.

You don't have to look
at the camera every time,

but just make this be, you
know, an exercise for you

to just try and move
just like you did before.

But now it's a, you know...

- Now I feel a
kind of male side.

- [Dexter] Yeah.
- Yeah.

- [Dexter] You know it.

All right, here we go.

Okay. Good.

Keep moving, you're good.

Pissed off, like that.

Are these working?

- [Sonia] Dexter...

- [Lacey] Amazing.

- [Sonia] Your first
shot, as always.

Look at your first time.

- [Dexter] First frame wonder?

- What's the first shot?

- [Dexter] God damn you!

(group laughs)

See? Great shot.

- [Sonia] That is so good.

- [Krow] Looks great.

Oh yeah.

- Okay, well let's
all go home now.

(group laughs)

- [Lacey] Done and done.

- That looks fantastic.

Wow, what an amazing day.

An amazing day.

It was fantastic that
right off the first frame

we got the attitude
and that set the tone

for the entire day.

He was willing to unlearn
some of the things

that I was already
catching him doing.

He knew that he had to
unlearn a lot of those things.

So he was very willing
now that he's going after

the male model market.

Toward the end,
it was effortless.

At the end he knew
what he had to do.

He was more conscious
with it this time.

And I think that was
the breakthrough.

All right, ready?

One, two, three, go.

There was a lot riding
on this production.

These shots were crucial.

There had to be
something that would...

Actually, I like that.

Look down, look down,
look down, look down.

That would really
show his range.

Now you'll just be able to just
turn this on and off, right?

- [Krow] Yeah.

- And your value, you know,
in that, in that sense

will just skyrocket.

This is a beautiful,
cohesive story

all put together.

Look at this, the
steps that you've made.

This is all outside
your comfort zone.

Look at you.

(laughs)

What do you think, Mom?
- [Lisa] I love it.

- I absolutely love it, yeah.

- [Dexter] I think we
accomplished a great deal here.

This is exactly
what I had in mind,

but it's even better.

- I'm glad I could deliver.

- Yeah. Oh, this is fantastic.

I think we got a lot
of great stuff, right?

So good job.

- Thank you so much.
Fantastic work everybody.

(group claps)

- Thank you everyone.

- Yep. That's a wrap. Well done.

- [Krow] Thank you.
- Fantastic.

- [Krow] My happiness scale...

If I was at a two
in happiness before,

I'm probably at like a
25 out of 10. (laughs)

So...

(mellow R&B music)

- Hi.

- I'm Krow.

- Lovely to meet
you, I'm Liz Bell.

Come on through.

I wanted to meet you because
I have a great request

for an incredible show in Paris,

looking for trans men
for their actually,

their women's show.

So they want a trans boy
who is transitioning.

I know you've finished
with your transition,

to wear men's clothes
in the women's show.

- Nice.

- [Liz] Okay, so we're
gonna head this way.

We'll start off by
doing the digitals.

They wanna see you
just the way you are

and then we'll do
a walking video.

So we're gonna start over here.

You've been doing
this a long time?

- Mhm.

- [Liz] You're seasoned.

- [Krow] Yeah.

- [Liz] Which is great.

This tank works so well.

- Oh, yes, lucky boy.

- Yeah, you see what I mean?

Isn't that perfect?
- Yeah.

- [Lisa] Bam, bam, bam.

Think in your head.

Bam, bam, bam.

All the way down,
strong and fast, okay?

What's gonna happen
moving forward

is I'm gonna put
together this material

and send it to the
casting director.

Okay. Let's see.

- All right.

Hopefully they
want to option you.

- [Krow] Sweet.

- [Liz] Sweet. That's perfect.

It's such a pleasure
meeting you.

And I would love to represent
you as a model in Vancouver.

I'll be your mother agent and
place you around the world

and all that kind of stuff.

How does that sound to you?

- That sounds great.

- Fabulous.

Welcome to Liz Bell.

- Thank you very much. (laughs)

I'd like to thank my mom.

We were always very close,
even before I transitioned.

So having her support there,
like, really means a lot to me.

- This is the start of a whole
brand new career for you.

And Paris.

So you be safe, you have fun.

- [Krow] Yeah, it's been
amazing having her in my life

and having her just be
part of this whole process

and this whole transition.

Just loving me for who I am.

(soft vocalizing)

When I transitioned,
I was doing it for me.

And that meant that if I had
to cut people out of my life

so that I could survive,
so that I could be happy

with my life, that's the
decision I had to make.

It was a big decision.

(mellow electronic music)

I don't know if you can see
in the very, very far corner

right over there, but yeah,
that's the Eiffel Tower.

I'm in Paris.

Gonna do a little
exploring around

and then I still have
the casting to go to.

(music continues)

So I don't really have
any anxieties about

trying to be a male model.

I don't know if
it'll go well or not,

but still gonna go in
and hope for the best.

- Hey, welcome to Paris.

- Great to see you.

- Oh, great to see you.

Your big day.

- I know, right?

- Yeah, like your first
big thing as a male model.

Like, it can't get better.

Louis Vuitton, can you imagine?

They had let me know that
you're gonna be doing

like makeup tests, hair
tests, things like that,

and then looks.

And then you'll
walk and show them.

So walk like with that
power we talked about.

- Yeah.

- So we'll go in.

- [Krow] All right, sounds good.

So I went to the job
interview and I got it.

I'm gonna be walking in
Fashion Week for Louis Vuitton.

So yeah, like, wow!

I don't know how many other
trans men are gonna be there.

So I could be one of a couple.

I could be just one.

I don't know yet.

When I was doing the
rehearsal, actually,

it was funny 'cause
they had us do it twice.

Once in the outfit and then
before the hair and makeup

and then once after
the hair and makeup.

And both times when
I was doing the walk,

they were saying like,
"Oh my God, amazing,

fabulous, fantastic."

Like, they were just like
throwing out compliments

and I had to like maintain
my neutral expression

and not smile.

But yeah, I was like, "Oh my
God, I'm so glad they like it."

The last time that I walked,

I wasn't even 18
yet at that point.

And I'm 22, almost 23 now.

It's interesting being
comfortable after three years

in this body, to be able
to like move the right way.

Luckily I don't have
to deal with heels.

So, thank God I'm not a female
model right now. (laughs)

(bright vocal music)

Starting as a female
model at 12 years old

and then stopping
after just reaching 18,

and then being able to switch
over and become a male model,

and have Louis Vuitton as
my first like real job,

just like out there, amazing.

- [Reporter] Spike! Spike!

Look here for one
minute, please.

(cameras snapping)

(paparazzi yelling)

(rhythmic electronic music)

The opportunity
that this presents

and to be like
that big of a bang

in the fashion world
to start with, wow!

(music continues)

(audience applauds)

- [Model] I enjoy fashion.

- [Photographer]
Thank you so much.

- [Krow] Whatever you wanna do,

it doesn't matter
what your job is

or what your career path
that you wanna take,

your gender doesn't matter.

You know, you can change over.

You can be in between.

So what I'd like to say to
the transgender community

is that it doesn't matter
whether you're male,

female, in between, you can
make your dreams come true.

Just keep trying, never
give up. (chuckles)

And you could be here doing
this, doing whatever you want.

Oh... (laughs)

- [Liz] Jessica's gonna
come and give you a hug.

- [Krow] Absolutely. (laughs)

- [Jessica] It's
been a great pleasure

to work with you Krow.

You're so inspiring
to all of us.

- [Krow] Thank you so much.

- Working with you, My
first runway way with you,

it's been great.

You're so inspiring
to me, really.

I hope that you get to
be really happy, okay?

- [Krow] Thank you so much.

- Really.

I hope that we can work
together later, okay?

- Absolutely.

And hey, maybe we'll walk on
Men's Fashion Week together.

- Maybe we can walk on
Men's Fashion together.

- Yeah.

- Maybe I will be
a male, by then.

- Yeah!

Who knows, right?

- I know, right?

Oh man.

- I love you.

- Thank you so much.

- Keep on being so strong,
you're a hope to everyone else.

Think about all the people
who doesn't have that strength

to be free, doesn't
have that strength

to just face everyone's opinion

and everyone's bad
feelings about us.

We just need to be humans.

That's what we need to be.

Gender doesn't matter,
we are all humans.

And you're so inspiring
for all of us.

- [Krow] Thank you so much.

- Louis Vuitton is
the best, right?

- [Krow] I know, right?

- It made us free.

for people like me, who's
not yet in transition,

gives us a chance to be free.

And that's amazing.

- Awesome.

- [Jane] I rise to
support the motion

that this house
supports SOGI 123

within our schools
to help create safe

and inclusive
learning environments.

- Trans kids exist,
we know that.

And to pretend that they
would just cease to exist

if we didn't talk about
them, it's just baloney.

It's bogus, it deserves
no place in this debate.

- Because it's amazing seeing
that there's this many people

who would take their time
so that they can help others

feel comfortable in the
space that they share.

(upbeat saxophone music)