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1
00:00:00,767 --> 00:00:02,600
[music playing]
2
00:00:04,100 --> 00:00:06,967
[medical equipment beeping]
3
00:00:07,067 --> 00:00:09,833
Hi, Granny.
4
00:00:09,933 --> 00:00:12,133
How's the acting?
5
00:00:12,233 --> 00:00:13,500
Oh, that's not me.
6
00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:15,767
That's Bunny.
7
00:00:15,867 --> 00:00:18,200
Do I hear my name?
8
00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:20,633
Oh, poor Granny Primrose.
9
00:00:20,733 --> 00:00:21,900
How you feeling?
10
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,167
I'm--
11
00:00:23,267 --> 00:00:25,433
Daddy mentioned
something about a bracelet.
12
00:00:25,533 --> 00:00:26,333
Bedside table.
13
00:00:34,033 --> 00:00:34,867
Do I get something?
14
00:00:34,967 --> 00:00:35,767
JENNY: Meg!
15
00:00:35,867 --> 00:00:37,400
Sorry.
16
00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:40,367
As it happens, she did
ask me to give you these.
17
00:00:44,233 --> 00:00:45,867
She's very tired.
18
00:00:45,967 --> 00:00:47,400
I think you better
go now, girls.
19
00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:49,333
Bye-bye, Granny.
20
00:00:49,433 --> 00:00:50,267
Bye, Granny.
21
00:00:55,433 --> 00:00:56,167
It's awful.
22
00:00:56,267 --> 00:00:58,733
I wish we could do something.
23
00:00:58,833 --> 00:00:59,767
I feel so helpless.
24
00:01:13,633 --> 00:01:15,800
Oh, come on.
25
00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:18,367
[theme song]
26
00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,600
BUNNY: Meg, come quick!
27
00:01:35,433 --> 00:01:36,400
What happened?
28
00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:37,767
What time is it?
29
00:01:37,867 --> 00:01:38,933
It's 4:00 AM.
30
00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:42,233
Guys, something
sensash has happened.
31
00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:44,600
Sensash like the time
Sabrina the Teenage Witch
32
00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:45,700
followed you on Twitter?
33
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,233
It's about the
dead Granny money.
34
00:01:47,333 --> 00:01:49,667
Well, she's still alive, so
maybe don't call it that yet.
35
00:01:49,767 --> 00:01:53,467
I bought a humongous
pres-y for all three of us.
36
00:01:53,567 --> 00:01:57,167
So this weekend
we are going to--
37
00:01:57,267 --> 00:01:58,967
Please, be Center Parcs.
38
00:01:59,067 --> 00:02:00,333
Glastonbury!
39
00:02:00,433 --> 00:02:02,367
I just won the tickets on eBay.
40
00:02:02,467 --> 00:02:04,467
In your face, @MuffHunter69.
41
00:02:04,567 --> 00:02:05,900
No freaking way.
42
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,633
I can't afford that.
43
00:02:07,733 --> 00:02:08,867
No, they're on me.
44
00:02:08,967 --> 00:02:10,333
I feel really guilty
about how good
45
00:02:10,433 --> 00:02:12,367
it feels being the favorite
best granddaughter.
46
00:02:12,467 --> 00:02:14,000
Plus, yes, you definitely
can't afford it.
47
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:16,233
Thanks, but I
don't need charity.
48
00:02:16,333 --> 00:02:18,500
Well, just pay me back
in favors or whatever.
49
00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:19,967
I'd really feel more
comfortable paying
50
00:02:20,067 --> 00:02:21,167
you back in actual money.
51
00:02:21,267 --> 00:02:23,000
- They cost 1,000 pounds.
- Or favors.
52
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:24,367
Favors is fine.
- Glastonbury.
53
00:02:24,467 --> 00:02:25,100
Glastonbury!
54
00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,633
[music playing]
55
00:02:35,033 --> 00:02:36,200
Sorry, Nathan.
56
00:02:36,300 --> 00:02:37,133
[inaudible] didn't go.
57
00:02:37,233 --> 00:02:38,133
Phone's broke.
58
00:02:38,233 --> 00:02:39,500
No, it's not.
59
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:43,400
Tracy wants a word, and
that word might be "fired."
60
00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:45,800
Shit balls.
61
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:47,067
Sorry I'm late.
62
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,500
Me phone--
63
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:49,833
How was Apocalash?
64
00:02:49,933 --> 00:02:52,500
You what?
65
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:54,433
We follow all our
employees on social media.
66
00:02:54,533 --> 00:02:56,533
Yeah, but that weren't
the reason I were late.
67
00:02:56,633 --> 00:02:59,900
I'm going through a
very painful break up.
68
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,833
With him?
69
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,333
Or him?
70
00:03:04,433 --> 00:03:05,633
Final warning.
71
00:03:05,733 --> 00:03:07,900
One more strike and you're out.
72
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,300
I'll make it up to you.
73
00:03:30,633 --> 00:03:33,033
MEG: Right, so this Glasto
packing list of yours,
74
00:03:33,133 --> 00:03:37,400
I've got glow sticks,
beads, sequins, glitter.
75
00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:38,967
Yeah, that's what I'm taking.
76
00:03:39,067 --> 00:03:40,067
Have you booked the transport?
77
00:03:40,167 --> 00:03:41,133
Yeah, I think
Hot & Cold's going
78
00:03:41,233 --> 00:03:42,633
to give us lift on Friday.
79
00:03:42,733 --> 00:03:44,700
He's lending us a tent, but
he's already text me saying,
80
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:47,333
he can't wait to roll
around in the mud with me.
81
00:03:47,433 --> 00:03:49,600
God, I bet he's
got fit friends.
82
00:03:49,700 --> 00:03:51,367
Add Johnnys to the list.
83
00:03:51,467 --> 00:03:53,333
[music playing]
84
00:04:01,067 --> 00:04:03,500
[phone ringing]
85
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:05,933
Hi, Mum, can I call you back?
I'm--
86
00:04:06,033 --> 00:04:07,133
JENNY (ON PHONE): Uh,
Meg, it's important.
87
00:04:07,233 --> 00:04:08,467
Are you sitting down?
Full
88
00:04:08,567 --> 00:04:09,867
Well, sort of.
89
00:04:09,967 --> 00:04:12,300
Granny Primrose
died in the night.
90
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:13,433
[splashing]
91
00:04:13,533 --> 00:04:16,033
Oh-- oh, god, that's--
that's terrible, Mum.
92
00:04:16,133 --> 00:04:17,633
I'm so sorry.
93
00:04:17,733 --> 00:04:19,733
Meg, are you on the toilet?
94
00:04:19,833 --> 00:04:21,433
Sorry, I tried to say.
95
00:04:21,533 --> 00:04:23,800
Look, just get over
here when you can.
96
00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:26,467
There's lots I need you to do
for the funeral on Saturday.
97
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:27,267
[splashing stops]
98
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:28,567
The funeral's on Saturday?
99
00:04:28,667 --> 00:04:29,967
JENNY (ON PHONE): Yes.
100
00:04:30,067 --> 00:04:31,700
No!
101
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,667
Mm-- no!
102
00:04:33,767 --> 00:04:36,600
Ah, the grief.
103
00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:37,533
Yeah, OK.
104
00:04:37,633 --> 00:04:39,433
Bye, Mum.
105
00:04:39,533 --> 00:04:40,633
Has Granny died?
106
00:04:40,733 --> 00:04:41,800
And it gets worse.
107
00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:43,467
The funeral's on Saturday.
108
00:04:43,567 --> 00:04:45,133
No!
109
00:04:45,233 --> 00:04:47,067
Yeah.
Can you leave, mate?
110
00:04:47,167 --> 00:04:48,167
It's turning into a poo.
111
00:04:50,967 --> 00:04:53,233
- Kez-o.
- Why are you wearing goggles?
112
00:04:53,333 --> 00:04:56,033
Protection for all the
mud and beer flying around--
113
00:04:56,133 --> 00:04:57,233
and jizz, probably.
114
00:04:57,333 --> 00:04:59,067
Plus, they look cool.
115
00:04:59,167 --> 00:05:02,167
Hmm-- wow, someone's prepared.
116
00:05:02,267 --> 00:05:03,700
Got to be up on
your festival hacks.
117
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:04,600
Ale?
118
00:05:04,700 --> 00:05:05,533
Check.
119
00:05:05,633 --> 00:05:06,800
Transport for said ale?
120
00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:08,200
Check.
Want one?
121
00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:09,400
We'll head down
Friday afternoon, get
122
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:10,933
the best spot for Gary Gazebo.
123
00:05:11,033 --> 00:05:12,133
Still want a lift?
124
00:05:12,233 --> 00:05:14,300
Oh, well, I've got
a bit of a problem
125
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:17,267
in that my Granny's died.
126
00:05:17,367 --> 00:05:18,367
Oh, yeah?
127
00:05:18,467 --> 00:05:19,933
Yeah.
128
00:05:20,033 --> 00:05:23,033
Yeah, the funeral
is on Saturday.
129
00:05:23,133 --> 00:05:25,300
You going to
sack it off, then?
130
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:26,433
Probably.
131
00:05:26,533 --> 00:05:30,933
Your Gran's not going
to know, Kez she's dead.
132
00:05:31,033 --> 00:05:33,367
That's what she
would have wanted.
133
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:40,100
She'd have wanted me to festival
fuck you from behind in a tent.
134
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:41,833
Maybe not even in a tent.
135
00:05:41,933 --> 00:05:44,300
I've seen people at Glastonbury
just fucking in a field.
136
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,600
I saw this one guy eat
a lass out in Stone
137
00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:47,967
Circle in front of everybody.
138
00:05:48,067 --> 00:05:49,600
Jesus.
139
00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:51,267
Do you want me to
bring any drugs, Kez?
140
00:05:51,367 --> 00:05:53,067
Oh, I don't really do drugs.
141
00:05:53,167 --> 00:05:54,867
Oh, you will do, Kez.
142
00:05:54,967 --> 00:05:56,100
You will.
143
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,267
Nothing like dirty
festival sex on drugs.
144
00:05:58,367 --> 00:05:59,633
I usually drop on
the way down so
145
00:05:59,733 --> 00:06:01,500
I'm perfectly hard by
the time I hit the gates.
146
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:02,467
Fuck.
147
00:06:02,567 --> 00:06:03,800
I'll bring the
tent and the drugs.
148
00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:07,467
You bring your a-game--
149
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:08,400
and Johnnys.
150
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:11,267
[music playing]
151
00:06:14,033 --> 00:06:17,000
It's just such
a shock, you know?
152
00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:19,600
I can't process it.
153
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:21,367
One year we had tickets.
154
00:06:21,467 --> 00:06:23,167
Is it worth just
going for the Sunday?
155
00:06:23,267 --> 00:06:25,000
Of course it's not, Meg.
156
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:27,200
All the hotties will we
be paired off by Sunday,
157
00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:30,567
and all that will be left
for us is twats in morphsuits
158
00:06:30,667 --> 00:06:34,500
and the foldy chair brigade.
159
00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:35,767
Oh, cheer up.
160
00:06:35,867 --> 00:06:37,033
Who died?
161
00:06:37,133 --> 00:06:37,933
Oh, shit.
162
00:06:38,033 --> 00:06:39,367
Is it your Gran?
163
00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:40,600
[inaudible]
164
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:42,400
And there's bad news.
165
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:43,633
We can't get go
to Glastonbury.
166
00:06:43,733 --> 00:06:44,800
It's the funeral.
167
00:06:44,900 --> 00:06:46,667
Right.
168
00:06:46,767 --> 00:06:47,800
Can I have your tickets?
169
00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:48,833
Unless--
170
00:06:48,933 --> 00:06:49,767
No, Meg.
171
00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:50,833
Well, I mean, come on.
172
00:06:50,933 --> 00:06:52,467
How close were we anyway?
173
00:06:52,567 --> 00:06:53,933
She left me half
a fucking tenner.
174
00:06:54,033 --> 00:06:55,967
Yeah, you don't owe her shit.
175
00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:57,700
[inaudible], Bun.
176
00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,033
You can't go without me.
177
00:06:59,133 --> 00:07:00,400
I bought the tickets.
178
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:01,800
Just tell your mum and dad
that-- that we're sorry,
179
00:07:01,900 --> 00:07:02,733
but we're busy.
180
00:07:02,833 --> 00:07:03,667
Why do I have to do it?
181
00:07:03,767 --> 00:07:04,733
I own you.
182
00:07:04,833 --> 00:07:05,667
Remember?
183
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:10,633
So, yeah, she went
peacefully in her sleep.
184
00:07:10,733 --> 00:07:14,533
With just a little
help towards the end.
185
00:07:14,633 --> 00:07:15,533
What do you mean, "help?"
186
00:07:15,633 --> 00:07:18,367
Just a couple of
extra sleepy pills
187
00:07:18,467 --> 00:07:20,833
to make sure there was no pain.
188
00:07:20,933 --> 00:07:22,167
All right, Dr. Shipman.
189
00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:25,333
Not strictly legal,
but, you know, the doctors
190
00:07:25,433 --> 00:07:26,800
usually turn a blind eye.
191
00:07:26,900 --> 00:07:30,067
There's a second autopsy
today and a police interview,
192
00:07:30,167 --> 00:07:32,100
which I'm sure is just
going to be a formality,
193
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,967
so we need you both
to help us out.
194
00:07:34,067 --> 00:07:35,233
What, like an alibi?
195
00:07:35,333 --> 00:07:39,000
No, we need you two
to organize the funeral.
196
00:07:39,100 --> 00:07:39,933
Oh, no.
197
00:07:40,033 --> 00:07:40,833
Why?
198
00:07:40,933 --> 00:07:42,433
Oh, my god, why?
199
00:07:42,533 --> 00:07:43,367
Oh, why?
200
00:07:43,467 --> 00:07:48,067
She's very upset about Granny.
201
00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:51,067
Here's a controversial
idea, do we even
202
00:07:51,167 --> 00:07:53,233
really need a funeral anyway?
203
00:07:53,333 --> 00:07:56,600
I mean, they can just make
people feel worse, can't they?
204
00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:58,400
I thought I was in denial.
205
00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:01,967
Right, I've written down all the
instructions for you both here.
206
00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:03,367
We need you to step up, Meg.
207
00:08:03,467 --> 00:08:07,100
And will it be
necessary to attend
208
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,200
on top of the organizing?
209
00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:12,333
Yeah, yeah, no, you
do have to attend
210
00:08:12,433 --> 00:08:13,800
your grandmother's funeral.
211
00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:15,167
Meg.
212
00:08:15,267 --> 00:08:17,633
Well, you do, mate,
Glastonbury tickets or not.
213
00:08:17,733 --> 00:08:20,433
You've got Glastonbury
tickets for this weekend?
214
00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:23,000
Which you'll be
sacrificing, because that's
215
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:25,767
what grownups do.
216
00:08:25,867 --> 00:08:28,567
Yeah, that's-- that's
exactly what we're doing.
217
00:08:31,633 --> 00:08:34,067
[music playing]
218
00:08:38,933 --> 00:08:41,167
Nathan, what the fuck's this?
219
00:08:41,267 --> 00:08:42,333
Can you not swear at me?
220
00:08:42,433 --> 00:08:44,267
It's just, I am
your team leader.
221
00:08:44,367 --> 00:08:46,800
Sod, but there's no fucking
way I'm working this weekend.
222
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:47,767
But it's not negotiable.
223
00:08:47,867 --> 00:08:48,667
You don't understand.
224
00:08:48,767 --> 00:08:50,567
It's important.
225
00:08:50,667 --> 00:08:52,100
I've got a funeral.
226
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:53,767
Everyone knows you're
going to Glastonbury.
227
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,167
I'm not.
228
00:08:55,267 --> 00:08:57,600
Stop stalking me on
social media anyway.
229
00:08:57,700 --> 00:08:58,833
We didn't have to.
230
00:08:58,933 --> 00:08:59,867
We've seen your desk.
231
00:08:59,967 --> 00:09:02,033
I sign for half this stuff.
232
00:09:02,133 --> 00:09:04,733
Plus, you're already
wearing your wellies.
233
00:09:04,833 --> 00:09:05,667
Is there a problem?
234
00:09:05,767 --> 00:09:07,067
Can't work this weekend.
235
00:09:07,167 --> 00:09:08,633
Got a funeral.
236
00:09:08,733 --> 00:09:09,800
Nice try.
237
00:09:09,900 --> 00:09:11,333
[music playing]
238
00:09:11,433 --> 00:09:12,367
I'll prove it.
239
00:09:12,467 --> 00:09:13,233
I swear.
240
00:09:13,333 --> 00:09:15,233
My Mam's dead as
fuck, all right?
241
00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:21,467
As this is a
non-religious ceremony,
242
00:09:21,567 --> 00:09:22,967
legally, there are
no requirements
243
00:09:23,067 --> 00:09:24,600
as to who runs the service.
244
00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:27,233
So if you have a family
member that could
245
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:28,867
do a particularly good job?
246
00:09:28,967 --> 00:09:32,200
We can do it ourselves, and
it can be as short as we want?
247
00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:33,400
Yes.
248
00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:36,167
So do you want to confirm
for Saturday morning?
249
00:09:36,267 --> 00:09:39,067
Just out of interest, have
you got anything Friday?
250
00:09:39,167 --> 00:09:42,433
We can't change the
date of the funeral--
251
00:09:42,533 --> 00:09:43,567
can we?
252
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:46,967
Actually, we do have
a slot Friday morning.
253
00:09:47,067 --> 00:09:49,100
Best day ever.
254
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,133
What's your Wi-Fi code?
255
00:09:50,233 --> 00:09:52,767
I need to check in.
256
00:09:52,867 --> 00:09:55,500
[music playing]
257
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,367
We're sorry for your
loss, and we're even more
258
00:09:58,467 --> 00:10:01,100
sorry for not believing you.
259
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:02,400
Your forgiven.
260
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:04,500
Nathan's going to cover
for you this weekend.
261
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:05,467
Of course.
262
00:10:05,567 --> 00:10:08,200
Obviously, take
you time to grieve.
263
00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:11,167
How much time will
that be exactly?
264
00:10:11,267 --> 00:10:14,100
As much time as you need.
265
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,600
Thanks for understanding.
266
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:19,067
[music playing]
267
00:10:20,367 --> 00:10:22,267
Can you wear
flip-flops to a funeral?
268
00:10:22,367 --> 00:10:24,167
Uh, maybe black ones.
269
00:10:24,267 --> 00:10:27,000
But it-- it's--
it's moved to Friday.
270
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:28,833
I know it's-- it
is short notice.
271
00:10:28,933 --> 00:10:31,133
Sorry, Gerald.
272
00:10:31,233 --> 00:10:33,900
Yes, I'll be wearing
something nice.
273
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:34,833
OK, yeah.
274
00:10:34,933 --> 00:10:35,767
OK, bye.
275
00:10:38,433 --> 00:10:42,033
Gerald there, still creepy
after all these years.
276
00:10:42,133 --> 00:10:43,967
Oh, god, being an adult's awful.
277
00:10:44,067 --> 00:10:46,167
It's basically just people
dying and [inaudible]..
278
00:10:46,267 --> 00:10:48,033
Bunny, can you do anything
to help me at all.
279
00:10:48,133 --> 00:10:49,767
I'm sorry, Meg,
but if anything
280
00:10:49,867 --> 00:10:50,700
you should be helping me.
281
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,800
You still owe me-- oh--
282
00:10:52,900 --> 00:10:54,300
a few hundred favors, at least.
283
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:57,333
Now, headdress or
Pocahontas wig?
284
00:10:57,433 --> 00:10:59,567
I mean, they're
both offensive.
285
00:10:59,667 --> 00:11:00,800
How?
286
00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:02,800
[music playing]
287
00:11:05,867 --> 00:11:08,500
Where is this cocking hearse?
288
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,833
Right, it's here,
it's here, it's here.
289
00:11:10,933 --> 00:11:12,800
OK, time to move, people.
290
00:11:12,900 --> 00:11:14,300
Let's go do some mourning.
291
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,933
Right, OK, Hot & Cold's
picking us up in one hour.
292
00:11:17,033 --> 00:11:18,600
He won't wait, but if
everything goes to plan,
293
00:11:18,700 --> 00:11:21,133
then we have just the right
amount of time to make it.
294
00:11:21,233 --> 00:11:23,133
Whiz down to the Crem now,
pop back here for a couple
295
00:11:23,233 --> 00:11:26,067
curry chicken sangers, and
then cruise into Worthy Farm
296
00:11:26,167 --> 00:11:27,333
in time for the silent disco.
297
00:11:27,433 --> 00:11:28,800
Roger.
298
00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:30,200
Let's keep it moving.
299
00:11:35,167 --> 00:11:36,767
LAURA: Are they taking
the piss, or what?
300
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:41,467
Floor it, mate.
301
00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:42,367
We're late.
302
00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:50,300
[organ playing]
303
00:11:56,767 --> 00:11:58,867
Post.
304
00:11:58,967 --> 00:11:59,867
Right.
305
00:11:59,967 --> 00:12:01,200
BUNNY: Meg, is that everybody?
306
00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:03,133
MEG: I don't know,
but we're eating in
307
00:12:03,233 --> 00:12:05,433
to precious back
pocket time already.
308
00:12:05,533 --> 00:12:07,533
Let's just start.
309
00:12:07,633 --> 00:12:10,933
STAN: Wait for me.
310
00:12:11,033 --> 00:12:12,100
MEG: Oh, really?
311
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,333
Meg, can you please?
312
00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:19,267
Oh, hello.
313
00:12:19,367 --> 00:12:20,600
Hi, Stan.
314
00:12:20,700 --> 00:12:21,733
Shall we get you inside?
315
00:12:26,167 --> 00:12:27,667
Gerald, hi.
316
00:12:27,767 --> 00:12:29,333
Hello, Meg.
317
00:12:29,433 --> 00:12:33,500
Flat shoes and those legs?
318
00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:34,600
I'm sorry for your loss.
319
00:12:40,167 --> 00:12:41,667
OK-- OK.
320
00:12:41,767 --> 00:12:44,033
Yeah, nice, just go in.
321
00:12:51,933 --> 00:12:53,000
OK, let's just start.
322
00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:54,833
OK, hello, everybody.
323
00:12:54,933 --> 00:12:56,633
My name's Megan Keswick.
324
00:12:56,733 --> 00:12:59,967
Um, as Granny always used to
say when I went to visit her,
325
00:13:00,067 --> 00:13:03,233
let's just get this over with.
326
00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:06,433
You're laughing, but
that is a direct quote.
327
00:13:06,533 --> 00:13:08,467
Anyway, so we are
here to celebrate
328
00:13:08,567 --> 00:13:10,000
her life just quickly.
329
00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:13,667
So let's kick off
with an extract
330
00:13:13,767 --> 00:13:20,000
from a song sung by her
favorite granddaughter, Bunny.
331
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:22,600
[music playing - "hallelujah"]
332
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:26,033
(SINGING) I did my
best, it wasn't much.
333
00:13:26,133 --> 00:13:29,167
I couldn't feel, so
I tried to touch.
334
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:35,500
I've told the truth, I
didn't come to fool you.
335
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,667
Hallelujah, hallelujah.
336
00:13:46,667 --> 00:13:51,500
Hallelujah, hallelujah--
337
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:52,467
Hallelujah.
338
00:14:15,633 --> 00:14:16,500
Hallelujah.
339
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,800
"Hallelujah" there
in its entirety.
340
00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:22,900
Jesus, right, OK.
341
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,867
Let's pray.
342
00:14:24,967 --> 00:14:26,833
Amen, right, brilliant, OK.
343
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:29,167
"Stop All the Clocks"
by W.H. Auden.
344
00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:34,267
Uh-- yeah-- (QUICKLY)
"Stop all the clocks,
345
00:14:34,367 --> 00:14:36,033
cut off the telephone,
prevent the dog from barking
346
00:14:36,133 --> 00:14:37,333
with a juicy bone,
silence the pianos
347
00:14:37,433 --> 00:14:38,667
and with muffled drum,
bring out the coffin,
348
00:14:38,767 --> 00:14:40,233
let the mourners come.
349
00:14:40,333 --> 00:14:41,533
Let aeroplanes circle moaning
overhead, scribbling on the sky
350
00:14:41,633 --> 00:14:42,867
the message He is Dead,
put crepe bows 'round
351
00:14:42,967 --> 00:14:44,300
the white necks of
the public doves,
352
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:45,867
let the traffic policemen
wear black cotton gloves.
353
00:14:45,967 --> 00:14:47,567
He was my North, my South, my
East, my West, my working week
354
00:14:47,667 --> 00:14:49,167
and my Sunday rest, my noon,
my midnight, my talk, my song;
355
00:14:49,267 --> 00:14:51,033
I thought that love would
last forever: I was wrong.
356
00:14:51,133 --> 00:14:52,533
The stars are not wanted
now: put out every one;
357
00:14:52,633 --> 00:14:53,967
pack up the moon and
dismantle the sun;
358
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:55,233
pour away the ocean
and sweep up the wood.
359
00:14:55,333 --> 00:14:56,300
For nothing now can
ever come to any good."
360
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,100
Hit it!
361
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,667
[organ playing]
362
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,200
Well, you get the idea.
363
00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:20,933
You're all dismissed.
364
00:15:21,033 --> 00:15:22,000
See you back at the wake.
365
00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:24,567
And 15 minutes tops, please.
366
00:15:24,667 --> 00:15:26,433
[music playing]
367
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,400
JENNY: Ever so
proud of you, love.
368
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:31,500
Thanks, Mum.
369
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,333
Have you had a
chat with Gerald?
370
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:36,433
Not since I was 13 and he
told me I should shave my legs.
371
00:15:36,533 --> 00:15:40,633
He's recruiting for an
administrator in Telford.
372
00:15:40,733 --> 00:15:43,267
I'll go and find him.
373
00:15:43,367 --> 00:15:45,033
Hot & Cold's
getting impatient.
374
00:15:45,133 --> 00:15:47,033
We should go as soon as
we can politely leave.
375
00:15:47,133 --> 00:15:48,500
Look, half these
people are oldies.
376
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:51,933
Once that buffet is gone,
they'll be on the next bus.
377
00:15:52,033 --> 00:15:53,033
Do it.
378
00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:57,967
Uh-- uh-- sorry, can I?
379
00:15:58,067 --> 00:15:59,067
Ugh.
380
00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:02,767
[inaudible]
381
00:16:02,867 --> 00:16:05,300
[music playing]
382
00:16:10,133 --> 00:16:11,367
What are you doing here?
383
00:16:11,467 --> 00:16:12,867
You're supposed to be
waiting in the car.
384
00:16:12,967 --> 00:16:14,233
We need to go.
385
00:16:14,333 --> 00:16:15,500
I just took a pill, but I
can't feel anything yet.
386
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:16,333
Taking a pill?
387
00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:17,767
You're supposed to be driving.
388
00:16:17,867 --> 00:16:19,333
I'm not driving.
Pete's driving.
389
00:16:19,433 --> 00:16:20,067
Where's Pete?
390
00:16:20,167 --> 00:16:21,167
[car horn]
391
00:16:21,267 --> 00:16:22,467
Getting a bit touchy.
392
00:16:22,567 --> 00:16:24,833
Right, OK, I'll
find a way to leave.
393
00:16:24,933 --> 00:16:26,067
Chill, Kez.
394
00:16:26,167 --> 00:16:27,900
I hope Stressy Kez
isn't coming to Glasto.
395
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,933
Just a bit emotional
because of the funeral.
396
00:16:30,033 --> 00:16:31,133
Maybe you should
take a little pill.
397
00:16:31,233 --> 00:16:32,700
Chill you out a little bit.
398
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:33,667
Mm.
399
00:16:33,767 --> 00:16:34,767
Oh, don't do it out.
400
00:16:34,867 --> 00:16:36,067
They're mild, like a coma.
401
00:16:36,167 --> 00:16:37,533
You'll just get a bit
high in the car with me.
402
00:16:37,633 --> 00:16:39,100
It will feel amazing
when we hold hands.
403
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:41,267
It's all about the journey, Kez.
404
00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:44,433
Oh, it drives me crazy
when you bite your lip.
405
00:16:44,533 --> 00:16:46,667
Crazy in a sex way.
406
00:16:46,767 --> 00:16:48,000
Oh, no, no.
407
00:16:48,100 --> 00:16:49,867
I don't know if I want to.
- Make your mind up.
408
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:50,933
This is all of it.
409
00:16:51,033 --> 00:16:52,267
[inaudible]
410
00:16:52,367 --> 00:16:53,733
- Right, OK, yes, I will.
- Swallowed it now.
411
00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:54,667
[inaudible]
412
00:16:57,633 --> 00:16:58,600
[music playing]
413
00:16:58,700 --> 00:17:01,067
Oh, you sexy fucking
bad ass bitch, Kez.
414
00:17:01,167 --> 00:17:02,300
You ready for this?
415
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,833
Yeah, I'm fucking
rock-and-rolling ready,
416
00:17:04,933 --> 00:17:09,067
like a crazy druggy twat.
417
00:17:09,167 --> 00:17:12,067
[music playing]
418
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:17,133
Cheese puff?
419
00:17:17,233 --> 00:17:18,367
Oh, they're lovely, aren't they?
420
00:17:18,467 --> 00:17:19,167
No, thank you.
421
00:17:19,267 --> 00:17:20,067
Lovely vol-au-vents.
422
00:17:20,167 --> 00:17:21,533
Just have a few more.
423
00:17:21,633 --> 00:17:22,500
Marvelous.
424
00:17:25,533 --> 00:17:26,167
[knocking]
425
00:17:26,267 --> 00:17:28,500
FRANK: Somebody in there?
426
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:30,033
MEG: (MUFFLED) I'm
just brushing my teeth.
427
00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:31,667
Well, hurry up, please.
428
00:17:31,767 --> 00:17:33,567
[music playing]
429
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:40,767
You can't go in there.
430
00:17:40,867 --> 00:17:41,667
I haven't finished.
431
00:17:41,767 --> 00:17:42,967
No, Meg, it's urgent.
432
00:17:43,067 --> 00:17:45,133
Those vol-au-vents have
played havoc with me.
433
00:17:45,233 --> 00:17:49,067
Hold on, you got a little
bit of toothpaste there.
434
00:17:49,167 --> 00:17:51,100
That's got it.
435
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,167
I'm very upset, Dad.
436
00:17:53,267 --> 00:17:54,800
I need to just have a cry.
437
00:17:54,900 --> 00:17:56,567
I've got-- I've got
to get it all out.
438
00:17:56,667 --> 00:17:58,567
I need at least 10
minutes of privacy.
439
00:17:58,667 --> 00:18:00,033
10 minutes?
440
00:18:00,133 --> 00:18:02,767
I'll have to break the
hallway bathroom rule for you.
441
00:18:11,333 --> 00:18:13,533
I'm washing tits off, Kez.
442
00:18:13,633 --> 00:18:15,967
These pills are red-hot
fucking vindaloo.
443
00:18:16,067 --> 00:18:17,867
You won't be able to handle it.
444
00:18:17,967 --> 00:18:19,433
Don't say that.
445
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:21,000
Oh, shit, this is
going to be rough.
446
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,800
I need to get out of here.
447
00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:23,800
No, no, no, no, no, no.
448
00:18:23,900 --> 00:18:24,733
You can't-- you can't be seen.
449
00:18:24,833 --> 00:18:26,033
I'm losing it.
450
00:18:26,133 --> 00:18:27,233
Hold me, Kez.
451
00:18:27,333 --> 00:18:33,233
OK, um, right, just
don't go anywhere.
452
00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:35,567
Hot & Cold's taken
a pill and he's off
453
00:18:35,667 --> 00:18:37,400
his box in the Granny annex.
454
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:38,600
Really?
455
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:39,700
He gave us some earlier
and I don't feel a thing.
456
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,000
Do you?
- Nah.
457
00:18:41,100 --> 00:18:41,933
Probably duds.
MEG: What?
458
00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:43,767
You've taken some as well?
459
00:18:43,867 --> 00:18:45,367
Guys, I'm scared.
460
00:18:45,467 --> 00:18:46,667
I took one.
461
00:18:46,767 --> 00:18:47,867
OK now.
462
00:18:47,967 --> 00:18:50,200
I was trying to be
sexy festival Meg.
463
00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:51,767
But now I'm scared.
464
00:18:51,867 --> 00:18:53,333
I don't think I can handle it.
465
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:56,967
We've got to get out of here
now before they kick in.
466
00:18:57,067 --> 00:18:59,000
Don't people die
from pills sometimes?
467
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:01,133
Well done, Meg, love.
468
00:19:01,233 --> 00:19:02,733
Thank you, Stan.
469
00:19:02,833 --> 00:19:04,833
What if I swallowed rat poison?
470
00:19:04,933 --> 00:19:08,100
Now, Meg, we must speak jobs.
471
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,500
Hi, Gerald.
472
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,100
Don't worry, Meg, everything
is going to be fine.
473
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:12,800
No one else is going to die.
474
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:16,200
Do not go under.
475
00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:18,333
One word, Telford.
476
00:19:23,133 --> 00:19:24,667
Oh, shit.
477
00:19:24,767 --> 00:19:26,400
Look, we need to go now.
478
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:27,733
Of course.
479
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,067
Uh-- might have to wait a
bit, though, because somebody
480
00:19:30,167 --> 00:19:31,500
has made off with my legs.
481
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:33,100
Is it hot in here,
or are these pills
482
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:36,433
starting to kick in?
- Get Meg.
483
00:19:43,633 --> 00:19:45,400
Uh, Meg.
484
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:47,600
Oh, Laura, hi.
485
00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:52,200
Oh-- Laura, we were
just saying about death
486
00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:56,700
and how it's all just souls
and energy, basically.
487
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:58,000
Were you, now?
488
00:19:58,100 --> 00:19:59,133
Come with me.
489
00:20:02,633 --> 00:20:03,933
Look.
490
00:20:04,033 --> 00:20:05,700
Oh, hey, guys.
491
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,567
Oh god, you both look great.
492
00:20:07,667 --> 00:20:09,500
Everything's going
to be fine, I think.
493
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,367
I feel really good about
this whole situation.
494
00:20:12,467 --> 00:20:13,800
I feel amazing.
495
00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:15,767
What should we do?
496
00:20:15,867 --> 00:20:16,767
[car horn]
497
00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:19,600
Oh, shit, Pete's still waiting.
498
00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:22,433
What were we going to
before we got sidetracked?
499
00:20:22,533 --> 00:20:24,600
We were getting
ready to leave.
500
00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:27,133
[music playing]
501
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:47,800
You look nice.
502
00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:56,400
[music playing]
503
00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:02,367
[music playing]
504
00:21:26,833 --> 00:21:28,433
Glastonbury!
505
00:21:28,533 --> 00:21:31,767
FRANK: Well, that's
a disappointment.
506
00:21:31,867 --> 00:21:35,167
Listen, Meg, if you want to
mourn your grandmother's death
507
00:21:35,267 --> 00:21:38,467
by assing about in
piss-soaked mud,
508
00:21:38,567 --> 00:21:43,000
drinking overpriced flat cider,
and listening to DJ Shite,
509
00:21:43,100 --> 00:21:44,333
well, that's fine by me.
510
00:21:44,433 --> 00:21:46,100
Yes, we are going to
go and dance in a field
511
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,067
to poorly amplified music.
512
00:21:48,167 --> 00:21:50,900
And at least one of those
will have unprotected sex.
513
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,033
Probably me.
514
00:21:52,133 --> 00:21:53,667
What's all the commotion?
515
00:21:53,767 --> 00:21:55,600
She's going to Glastonbury.
516
00:21:55,700 --> 00:21:56,767
What?
517
00:21:56,867 --> 00:21:58,433
[car horn]
518
00:21:58,533 --> 00:22:00,333
Did you change the
day of the funeral
519
00:22:00,433 --> 00:22:01,933
so you could go to Glastonbury?
520
00:22:02,033 --> 00:22:04,967
Did you euthanize my
grandmother to death?
521
00:22:05,067 --> 00:22:07,300
So, yeah, we're going
to go to Glastonbury.
522
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:08,733
And you know what you've done.
523
00:22:21,733 --> 00:22:23,000
What?
524
00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:25,033
These are from 2014.
525
00:22:28,300 --> 00:22:29,500
So?
526
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,433
It is 2014, isn't it?
527
00:22:32,533 --> 00:22:34,333
Isn't it?
528
00:22:34,433 --> 00:22:35,900
Oh, my god.
529
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:36,800
Laters, then.
530
00:22:41,700 --> 00:22:42,933
HOT & COLD: Laters.
531
00:22:43,033 --> 00:22:46,100
JENNY: Oh, that has
cheered me right up.
532
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,900
Let's crack a bottle.
533
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,333
Do you want to go back
and sit in the bathroom?
534
00:22:51,433 --> 00:22:52,267
Yeah.
535
00:22:52,367 --> 00:22:54,567
Just keep you
away from Jell-o.
536
00:22:54,667 --> 00:22:57,367
[music playing]
35896
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