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1
00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:06,600
[phone buzzing]
2
00:00:51,967 --> 00:00:54,033
[door buzzing]
3
00:00:59,933 --> 00:01:01,767
I'm outside.
4
00:01:01,867 --> 00:01:02,933
HOT & COLD: Did you
not get my text?
5
00:01:03,033 --> 00:01:04,000
No.
6
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:25,600
Keswick.
7
00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:26,600
So how do you call this?
8
00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:28,367
I had to get, like, two buses.
9
00:01:28,467 --> 00:01:29,700
You really did want to see me.
10
00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:39,400
So I was thinking, um, maybe
it could be sexy if, uh, you
11
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:40,933
came to stay at mine one time.
12
00:01:41,033 --> 00:01:42,233
I love these.
13
00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:44,200
It's my friend Laura's
birthday on Saturday.
14
00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:45,700
I'm doing this brunch thing.
15
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,467
I thought maybe you could come.
16
00:01:47,567 --> 00:01:48,800
Could do.
17
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,833
Just cause, you know, you've
not really met my friends,
18
00:01:50,933 --> 00:01:53,600
and we've been seeing each
other for, like, how long now?
19
00:01:53,700 --> 00:01:54,933
How long what?
20
00:01:55,033 --> 00:01:55,967
Have we been together.
21
00:01:56,067 --> 00:01:57,700
Yeah, we're not together.
22
00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,200
Yeah, but you
know what I mean.
23
00:01:59,300 --> 00:02:01,300
Keswick, don't go
all psycho on me.
24
00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:03,033
Take this off.
- I'm not.
25
00:02:03,133 --> 00:02:06,300
I've told you, I'm
very low maintenance.
26
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,333
I just thought you might want
to stay at mine one time.
27
00:02:09,433 --> 00:02:10,600
Can you cook?
28
00:02:10,700 --> 00:02:11,900
- Sort of.
- Fine.
29
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,133
You can make me
dinner tomorrow night.
30
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:14,033
It's a date.
31
00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:15,500
It's not a date.
32
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:16,500
Well, whatever it is--
33
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:17,233
Shh!
34
00:02:17,333 --> 00:02:18,900
You'll wake Pete up.
35
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:19,833
PETE: Shut up!
36
00:02:19,933 --> 00:02:20,767
You've woken Pete up.
37
00:02:20,867 --> 00:02:22,433
- It wasn't--
- Shh.
38
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:23,500
Stop talking.
39
00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:47,100
Oh.
Hi, Pete.
40
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,567
He's gone to work.
41
00:02:48,667 --> 00:02:51,733
Right, well, uh, tell
him I'll see him later.
42
00:02:51,833 --> 00:02:52,967
Who will?
43
00:02:53,067 --> 00:02:54,533
I don't keep track
of everyone's names.
44
00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:55,467
Meg.
45
00:02:55,567 --> 00:02:59,167
Do-- do you not know?
46
00:02:59,267 --> 00:03:00,867
OK, well, I'm going to head.
47
00:03:00,967 --> 00:03:01,767
Bye.
48
00:03:06,900 --> 00:03:08,133
Cheers, mate.
49
00:03:08,233 --> 00:03:09,267
I owe you one.
50
00:03:15,633 --> 00:03:17,467
[farting]
51
00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:20,633
I thought you'd gone.
52
00:03:20,733 --> 00:03:21,567
I thought you'd gone.
53
00:03:21,667 --> 00:03:22,467
Don't come near me.
54
00:03:22,567 --> 00:03:23,400
Stay away!
55
00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:24,200
Oh, what is that?
56
00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:25,733
It smells like a dead animal.
57
00:03:25,833 --> 00:03:27,900
Ah, rank!
58
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,667
Oh, is that you, Keswick?
59
00:03:29,767 --> 00:03:31,333
I think you might be unwell.
60
00:03:31,433 --> 00:03:32,333
I'm going.
61
00:03:32,433 --> 00:03:33,433
Well, thanks for
the farting gift.
62
00:03:33,533 --> 00:03:34,800
- Pete said you'd gone.
- Did he?
63
00:03:34,900 --> 00:03:36,500
Why did he say that?
Should we ask him?
64
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:37,133
Pete!
- No!
65
00:03:37,233 --> 00:03:40,200
Pete, come here.
66
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:41,100
Ugh.
67
00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:46,367
Megan Keswick,
you filthy wench.
68
00:03:46,467 --> 00:03:47,400
I know.
69
00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:48,967
I went to wake
you up last night
70
00:03:49,067 --> 00:03:52,300
to tell you about my incredible
new job, but you weren't here.
71
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,700
I can't help it
if I'm irresistible.
72
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,333
He keeps sexting me.
73
00:03:56,433 --> 00:03:58,000
How is the incredible new job?
74
00:03:58,100 --> 00:03:59,367
Incredible.
75
00:03:59,467 --> 00:04:00,633
Oh, it's good you got
your foot through the door
76
00:04:00,733 --> 00:04:01,567
at the theater, Bun.
77
00:04:01,667 --> 00:04:02,300
BUNNY: Foot?
78
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:03,700
It's more like whole body.
79
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:05,200
This is my ticket to the top.
80
00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:07,533
So have you met Sir Percy yet?
81
00:04:07,633 --> 00:04:08,467
Who?
82
00:04:08,567 --> 00:04:10,000
Who?
83
00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:11,633
Who is Sir Percy McDonald?
84
00:04:11,733 --> 00:04:14,233
He's a volcano of an actor
is what he is, Laura,
85
00:04:14,333 --> 00:04:15,933
and it's my mission
to befriend him.
86
00:04:16,033 --> 00:04:17,100
LAURA: Right, so
when are we meeting
87
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:18,533
this new bloke of yours, Meg.
88
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:20,600
Well, he's coming over
tonight for dinner and shagging.
89
00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:21,533
Dinner?
90
00:04:21,633 --> 00:04:23,833
O-M-Jesus, it's serious.
91
00:04:23,933 --> 00:04:25,000
Meg's got a boyfriend.
92
00:04:25,100 --> 00:04:26,100
Shut up.
93
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,467
He's not my boyfriend.
94
00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:30,900
We're just keeping
it casual for now.
95
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,133
Well, he is.
96
00:04:32,233 --> 00:04:33,533
Does he not want to label it?
97
00:04:33,633 --> 00:04:36,467
Well, he's not into
needy girls, so no.
98
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:37,800
Is he even fit?
99
00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:40,900
MEG: He's really fit, and he
also, like, treats me mean.
100
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,433
Like one minute he'll
be all, come over, sexy.
101
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:46,167
Let's watch Netflix and chill,
and then the next minute he'll
102
00:04:46,267 --> 00:04:48,933
be like not returning my calls.
103
00:04:49,033 --> 00:04:50,467
He's blowing hot and cold.
104
00:04:50,567 --> 00:04:51,467
That's very Don Draper.
105
00:04:51,567 --> 00:04:52,533
I love it.
106
00:04:52,633 --> 00:04:53,600
Hot and cold.
107
00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:54,800
Hot being Netflix.
108
00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:56,333
Ugh, the bar's so low, Meg.
109
00:04:56,433 --> 00:04:57,400
Get rid.
110
00:04:57,500 --> 00:04:58,633
I really like the
sound of hot and cold,
111
00:04:58,733 --> 00:05:00,033
and I can't wait to meet him.
112
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,433
I even promise not
to flirt with him.
113
00:05:01,533 --> 00:05:02,767
Thanks.
114
00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:04,500
Right, so don't forget me
birthday brunch here tomorrow.
115
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:08,033
Gary will be back from Glasgow,
and is this Hot & Cold coming?
116
00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:10,633
Yep, but, uh, he'll
probably already
117
00:05:10,733 --> 00:05:13,067
have eaten his breakfast,
if you know what I mean.
118
00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:20,067
DIANE: But make sure
you're familiar with where
119
00:05:20,167 --> 00:05:22,033
the auditorium is
for when people ask.
120
00:05:22,133 --> 00:05:23,767
I just love the
costumes, Diane.
121
00:05:23,867 --> 00:05:24,700
So drab.
122
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,067
When do I get mine?
123
00:05:26,167 --> 00:05:27,533
You get your uniform
at the end of this shift.
124
00:05:27,633 --> 00:05:29,167
OK.
I'm sorry, what's my line again?
125
00:05:29,267 --> 00:05:30,967
Show programs 10 pounds.
126
00:05:31,067 --> 00:05:32,300
[singing]
127
00:05:35,167 --> 00:05:36,233
What are you doing?
128
00:05:36,333 --> 00:05:38,067
I'm just warming
up my vocal cords.
129
00:05:38,167 --> 00:05:39,400
[singing]
130
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:41,933
Can you not do that?
131
00:05:42,033 --> 00:05:43,200
Oh, sorry.
132
00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:44,300
Would you prefer if
I use the green room?
133
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:45,700
The green is just
for the actors.
134
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,100
Oh, you don't know, do you?
135
00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:49,967
I'm actually an actress, Diane.
136
00:05:50,067 --> 00:05:51,533
Oh, yeah?
137
00:05:51,633 --> 00:05:54,567
Because all top actors sell choc
ices and programs on the side.
138
00:05:54,667 --> 00:05:56,900
I'm just here to make
contacts for my acting.
139
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,933
It's who you know,
Diane, and I--
140
00:05:59,033 --> 00:06:01,767
I intend to know
Sir Percy McDonald.
141
00:06:01,867 --> 00:06:03,033
Not biblically,
because he's gay,
142
00:06:03,133 --> 00:06:06,033
but I can't wait to meet him.
143
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:07,600
Show programs 10 pounds!
144
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,433
You're not going
to get the 10 pounds?
145
00:06:14,533 --> 00:06:15,367
Sorry, excuse me.
146
00:06:15,467 --> 00:06:16,667
Sorry.
Sorry.
147
00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:17,900
Madam, sorry.
148
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,267
I've got good news.
149
00:06:19,367 --> 00:06:21,100
Are you having that
disgusting skin tag removed?
150
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:22,467
What skin tag?
151
00:06:22,567 --> 00:06:23,633
I've had a pay rise.
152
00:06:23,733 --> 00:06:24,933
Oh, right.
153
00:06:25,033 --> 00:06:26,333
You can buy me a nice
present then, can't you?
154
00:06:26,433 --> 00:06:27,233
What time are you
coming tomorrow?
155
00:06:27,333 --> 00:06:28,167
The
156
00:06:28,267 --> 00:06:29,100
Laura, we've
been through this.
157
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:30,200
I'm in Glasgow.
158
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:31,367
I can't get back
for your birthday.
159
00:06:31,467 --> 00:06:33,067
Oh, well, then
it's too much hassle.
160
00:06:33,167 --> 00:06:34,467
Then don't worry about it.
161
00:06:34,567 --> 00:06:35,800
I thought you
liked me being away.
162
00:06:35,900 --> 00:06:37,100
You were only
saying yesterday how
163
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:38,667
you're enjoying your own space.
164
00:06:38,767 --> 00:06:40,667
I meant because I don't have
to deal with you taking a shit
165
00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:41,767
while I'm in the shower.
166
00:06:41,867 --> 00:06:42,900
Look, I've still
got me laptop.
167
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,433
We can do stuff.
It'll be sexy.
168
00:06:44,533 --> 00:06:46,100
No, it won't be sexy,
Gary, because you'll
169
00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,700
be miles away from your
girlfriend on her birthday.
170
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,567
You should be here buying
me them flowers what I like,
171
00:06:50,667 --> 00:06:52,233
and buying me little
presents, and hiding them
172
00:06:52,333 --> 00:06:53,633
around the flats so
I have find them,
173
00:06:53,733 --> 00:06:55,933
and treat me like a princess
like you always do cause
174
00:06:56,033 --> 00:06:59,733
you love me so much, ya knob.
175
00:06:59,833 --> 00:07:01,267
I think I nailed
that actually.
176
00:07:01,367 --> 00:07:04,133
Sold nearly all my programs,
a ton of choc ices.
177
00:07:04,233 --> 00:07:05,600
I think I'm ready
to be promoted.
178
00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:06,933
You've only done one shift.
179
00:07:07,033 --> 00:07:09,567
Yes, but Diane, I'm not
your average employee.
180
00:07:09,667 --> 00:07:10,400
No.
181
00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:11,967
BUNNY: Oh my gosh, [inaudible].
182
00:07:12,067 --> 00:07:12,933
It's Sir Percy.
183
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:14,567
Now, what should I say?
184
00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:15,833
Afternoon, Diane.
185
00:07:15,933 --> 00:07:17,100
Afternoons, Percy.
186
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:18,767
Didn't recognize
you without the wig.
187
00:07:18,867 --> 00:07:19,700
Ha!
188
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:20,867
I feel naked without it.
189
00:07:20,967 --> 00:07:22,600
Do you know I'm
thinking of wearing--
190
00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:24,033
BOTH: It out on the weekend?
191
00:07:24,133 --> 00:07:27,633
Oh, Diane, you are a hoot.
192
00:07:27,733 --> 00:07:28,733
Twat.
193
00:07:28,833 --> 00:07:31,233
Oh, Diane, you're
an inspiration.
194
00:07:31,333 --> 00:07:33,200
All right, this is going to
be easier than I thought.
195
00:07:33,300 --> 00:07:36,167
If he talks to you, then
he'll definitely talk to me.
196
00:07:36,267 --> 00:07:39,067
Do you know what the worst
thing about Gary being away is?
197
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:40,700
You're worried he'll stray.
198
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,000
No.
199
00:07:42,100 --> 00:07:43,800
Watching him jizz into
his webcam every night.
200
00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:45,467
He calls it cyber spaffing.
201
00:07:45,567 --> 00:07:47,967
BUNNY: Just hold out
for some real sex.
202
00:07:48,067 --> 00:07:50,267
Absence makes the vag
grow wider, as they say.
203
00:07:50,367 --> 00:07:51,200
Do they?
204
00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:53,000
I won't miss him,
not as a person.
205
00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:55,333
I just think it's selfish
that he chose work.
206
00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:57,300
Well, we could still do the
birthday brunch without him.
207
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:58,933
Is Hot & Cold still invited?
208
00:07:59,033 --> 00:08:00,633
Yeah, he's still
invited, but he won't come.
209
00:08:00,733 --> 00:08:01,800
Right.
210
00:08:01,900 --> 00:08:03,533
I better get back
to the playhouse.
211
00:08:03,633 --> 00:08:06,500
Oh, Meg, how romantic!
212
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:07,833
Lucky Hot & Cold.
213
00:08:07,933 --> 00:08:10,300
Meg, this is freaking me
out, and I'm not even a bloke.
214
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,200
It's all in hand, Laura.
215
00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:14,167
I just want to give Hot &
Cold a taste of what could
216
00:08:14,267 --> 00:08:16,533
happen if we did go steady.
217
00:08:16,633 --> 00:08:17,667
Disgusting.
218
00:08:17,767 --> 00:08:19,533
How about you put just
as much effort into,
219
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:20,467
you know, [inaudible].
220
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:21,300
Shit.
221
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:22,600
I actually forgot about that.
222
00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:24,500
He's not coming anyway,
so it doesn't matter.
223
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:25,833
Yes, he is.
224
00:08:25,933 --> 00:08:28,867
Now, off you both piss, please,
unless you want to witness
225
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:31,000
a whole night of shagging.
226
00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:31,967
Oh my god.
227
00:08:32,067 --> 00:08:33,500
Vile.
228
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,700
Yes, yes, well, don't wait
up because, um, I'm definitely
229
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,633
going to be kicking it
about with Sir Percy and co
230
00:08:37,733 --> 00:08:40,433
after the show until silly
o'clock in the morning.
231
00:08:40,533 --> 00:08:42,033
I can't wait to tell
them that I'm actually--
232
00:08:42,133 --> 00:08:43,467
I'm one of them.
233
00:08:43,567 --> 00:08:45,200
And then Percy is going to
introduce me to his agent,
234
00:08:45,300 --> 00:08:46,900
and he'll say, Bunny, allow me
to introduce you to my agent,
235
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,133
and I'll say, well,
thank you, Sir Percy.
236
00:08:48,233 --> 00:08:51,600
And then he'll say--
no, please don't.
237
00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:53,233
Choc ices, four pounds.
238
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:56,000
Would anybody like a choc ice?
239
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:58,500
What are you doing backstage?
240
00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:00,700
Oh, Sir Percy, didn't
recognize you without your wig
241
00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:02,033
on.
- What?
242
00:09:02,133 --> 00:09:03,233
I'm wearing my wig.
243
00:09:03,333 --> 00:09:05,433
Oh, uh, don't where
it on the weekend.
244
00:09:05,533 --> 00:09:06,333
What?
245
00:09:06,433 --> 00:09:07,767
Choc ice.
246
00:09:07,867 --> 00:09:09,433
No, I'm in the
middle of act one.
247
00:09:09,533 --> 00:09:11,100
- I've got a surprise secret.
- Shut up!
248
00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,300
You're in my way.
249
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:13,233
OK.
250
00:09:13,333 --> 00:09:15,833
OK, I-- I'll tell
you later, yeah?
251
00:09:15,933 --> 00:09:17,133
God, what a guy.
252
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,033
[gary grunting]
253
00:09:25,533 --> 00:09:26,567
Gary, it's frozen.
254
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:27,733
Gary, the screen's frozen.
255
00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:28,700
Gary!
256
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:31,567
Gary!
257
00:09:31,667 --> 00:09:35,200
Oh, for fuck's sake.
258
00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:37,900
You sure you just
prefer to watch.
259
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,300
Yeah, it turns me on.
260
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:40,933
Will you show us your tits?
261
00:09:41,033 --> 00:09:42,100
No, I'm putting you away.
262
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:43,000
I'm shutting you down.
263
00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:43,933
Please, I need treats.
264
00:09:44,033 --> 00:09:45,467
Please!
265
00:09:45,567 --> 00:09:47,167
Oh, phew!
266
00:09:47,267 --> 00:09:50,333
God, I'm exhausted.
267
00:09:50,433 --> 00:09:52,133
Oh, god, what a first half.
268
00:09:52,233 --> 00:09:53,433
Tricky old crowd, isn't it?
269
00:09:53,533 --> 00:09:55,600
We'll get there in
the end, won't we?
270
00:09:55,700 --> 00:09:57,333
- Who are you?
- I'm Bunny.
271
00:09:57,433 --> 00:10:00,200
And I know who you
are, Percy McDonald.
272
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,500
I loved your Hamlet.
273
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:02,967
It was so raw.
274
00:10:03,067 --> 00:10:04,267
Sorry, why are you in here?
275
00:10:04,367 --> 00:10:06,667
Oh, I'm an actress like you.
276
00:10:06,767 --> 00:10:07,900
I trained at YADA.
277
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,267
It's the Yorkshire
Academy of Dramatic--
278
00:10:09,367 --> 00:10:11,200
Yes, yes, yes, but which
production are you in?
279
00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:14,033
Oh, this one, silly.
280
00:10:14,133 --> 00:10:15,833
I thought you
were just an usher.
281
00:10:15,933 --> 00:10:17,767
Yeah, it's just a stopgap.
282
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,233
So the after show party--
283
00:10:19,333 --> 00:10:21,433
is it open to all the actors?
284
00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:24,067
Cause, you know, I was just
thinking of stopping by.
285
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:27,833
Leave?
Why?
286
00:10:27,933 --> 00:10:28,833
There you are!
287
00:10:28,933 --> 00:10:29,933
Do I look like your mother?
288
00:10:30,033 --> 00:10:30,967
Oh, god no.
289
00:10:31,067 --> 00:10:32,333
My mother is very attractive.
290
00:10:32,433 --> 00:10:34,700
You can't just dump
merchandise in the hallway.
291
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,233
They've all melted!
292
00:10:36,333 --> 00:10:37,600
And why aren't you out there?
293
00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:40,633
Diane, it is the interval,
and I needed a rest.
294
00:10:40,733 --> 00:10:42,567
Please, Diane, let me
give you a hand with these.
295
00:10:42,667 --> 00:10:43,600
Oh, no.
296
00:10:43,700 --> 00:10:45,033
Please, Percy, let
me give you a hand.
297
00:10:45,133 --> 00:10:46,467
It's Sir Percy!
298
00:10:46,567 --> 00:10:47,567
Yes?
299
00:10:47,667 --> 00:10:49,367
Look, Bunny, I
think you should just
300
00:10:49,467 --> 00:10:51,367
go home and come back
tomorrow when you've
301
00:10:51,467 --> 00:10:53,233
reassessed your priorities.
302
00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:54,400
I can't work tomorrow.
303
00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:55,967
I have a birthday.
304
00:10:56,067 --> 00:10:58,333
Do you want this job or not?
305
00:10:58,433 --> 00:10:59,267
Yes.
306
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:00,267
Yes, I do.
307
00:11:00,367 --> 00:11:01,600
Please don't fire me.
308
00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:03,833
Please just give me a
chance to prove myself.
309
00:11:03,933 --> 00:11:05,433
Fine.
See you tomorrow.
310
00:11:11,533 --> 00:11:15,067
To be or not to be.
311
00:11:15,167 --> 00:11:16,633
That is the question.
312
00:11:16,733 --> 00:11:17,900
What are you doing?
313
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,433
Whether tis nobler
in the mind to suffer
314
00:11:19,533 --> 00:11:22,567
the slings and the arrows
of contagious fortune--
315
00:11:22,667 --> 00:11:23,900
Outrageous fortune.
316
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,300
Or to make arms.
317
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:26,033
Take arms.
318
00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:27,500
Jesus Christ.
319
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:31,033
Against a sea of troubles,
and by opposing, end them.
320
00:11:31,133 --> 00:11:34,800
To die, to sleep no
more, and by a sleep,
321
00:11:34,900 --> 00:11:37,167
to say that we
end the heartache.
322
00:11:37,267 --> 00:11:40,133
Jesus and my
fucking heartache.
323
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,633
Please, just stop!
324
00:11:41,733 --> 00:11:42,933
Just stop.
325
00:11:43,033 --> 00:11:44,767
You are the worst
actress I have ever seen,
326
00:11:44,867 --> 00:11:46,467
and I've worked
with Tilda Swinton.
327
00:11:46,567 --> 00:11:49,233
[chuckling]
328
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:50,633
I think you should just go.
329
00:11:50,733 --> 00:11:52,000
What about the party, Diane?
330
00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:53,100
Just go.
331
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,967
[phone ringing]
332
00:12:01,067 --> 00:12:01,867
Oh, hi.
333
00:12:01,967 --> 00:12:04,300
It's-- it's me again.
334
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:09,300
So if you do get this and
you have been in a fire,
335
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:10,567
don't worry.
336
00:12:10,667 --> 00:12:15,167
But if you haven't been in
a fire, then let me know.
337
00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:16,500
OK.
338
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:17,433
Peace out.
339
00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:22,567
[knocking]
340
00:12:31,267 --> 00:12:33,700
He's not here, is he?
341
00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:35,200
Firstly, I told you so.
342
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:37,100
Secondly, put some clothes on.
343
00:12:39,867 --> 00:12:41,933
He might have been in
an accident or something.
344
00:12:42,033 --> 00:12:43,433
Hopefully.
345
00:12:43,533 --> 00:12:44,900
Meg, if I waited
around for every man
346
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:48,233
that told me he'd been in an
accident or me gran's died--
347
00:12:48,333 --> 00:12:50,400
all right, Gary's gran had
died that time, but still.
348
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:52,400
Yeah, well, maybe he's
just playing it cool.
349
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:54,033
Maybe he's just not
in any way interested.
350
00:12:54,133 --> 00:12:55,633
[phone beeping]
351
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,900
Oh, it's him.
352
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,700
Oh, well he forgot apparently.
353
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:00,867
At least he's being honest.
354
00:13:00,967 --> 00:13:02,100
- Meg, whatever you do, don't--
- Hi.
355
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:03,100
--phone him.
356
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:04,300
No, no, no.
357
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:05,867
It's cool.
358
00:13:05,967 --> 00:13:06,767
Yeah, yeah.
359
00:13:06,867 --> 00:13:09,233
Oh, god, are you OK?
360
00:13:09,333 --> 00:13:11,433
Yeah, of course I'll come round.
361
00:13:11,533 --> 00:13:12,833
Batteries.
Yeah.
362
00:13:12,933 --> 00:13:13,533
Yeah.
OK.
363
00:13:13,633 --> 00:13:15,067
OK.
Bye.
364
00:13:15,167 --> 00:13:16,867
False alarm.
365
00:13:16,967 --> 00:13:19,700
Twisted his ankle
playing football.
366
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:20,800
I thought he forgot.
367
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:21,767
MEG: For a minute
there, I thought
368
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:22,533
he was going to stand me up.
369
00:13:22,633 --> 00:13:23,467
He did.
370
00:13:23,567 --> 00:13:25,267
Because if he
had stood me up, I
371
00:13:25,367 --> 00:13:26,933
would not be going over there.
372
00:13:27,033 --> 00:13:28,367
He has, and you are.
373
00:13:28,467 --> 00:13:31,633
But he's hurt his ankle,
and lucky for him, I am--
374
00:13:31,733 --> 00:13:32,533
Desperate.
375
00:13:32,633 --> 00:13:33,667
--nice.
376
00:13:33,767 --> 00:13:35,967
Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow.
377
00:13:36,067 --> 00:13:37,533
Not going to forget
your birthday.
378
00:13:37,633 --> 00:13:39,967
Like he forgot your date.
379
00:13:40,067 --> 00:13:41,900
I know some people
abandon their friends
380
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:42,833
when they get a boyfriend.
381
00:13:42,933 --> 00:13:44,033
- You won't.
- Right.
382
00:13:44,133 --> 00:13:45,133
Because he's not
your boyfriend.
383
00:13:45,233 --> 00:13:46,567
Not officially.
384
00:13:46,667 --> 00:13:47,567
Not even unofficially.
385
00:13:47,667 --> 00:13:49,867
Not yet.
386
00:13:49,967 --> 00:13:51,933
But it might be unofficial soon.
387
00:13:52,033 --> 00:13:54,600
Ciao!
388
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:56,567
[phone buzzing]
389
00:14:06,967 --> 00:14:08,300
Hi, guys.
390
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,200
Hey.
391
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:10,367
Did you go to the shop?
392
00:14:17,767 --> 00:14:18,667
How's your ankle?
393
00:14:18,767 --> 00:14:19,567
Oh, yeah, yeah.
394
00:14:19,667 --> 00:14:20,800
Fine now.
395
00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:22,067
I've brought
dinner round anyway.
396
00:14:22,167 --> 00:14:25,233
Come on, you twats!
397
00:14:25,333 --> 00:14:26,567
What time does this finish?
398
00:14:26,667 --> 00:14:28,700
It's already over.
Recorded it from earlier.
399
00:14:31,767 --> 00:14:33,600
Is he going to bed soon?
400
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:36,267
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
401
00:14:36,367 --> 00:14:39,633
I'll, uh, lay the table.
402
00:14:39,733 --> 00:14:40,533
Yeah.
403
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:49,933
HOT & COLD: Get in.
404
00:14:50,033 --> 00:14:50,833
Use him!
405
00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:51,767
Use him!
406
00:14:51,867 --> 00:14:53,633
Go-- oh, you idiot!
407
00:14:53,733 --> 00:14:55,000
That's it!
That's it!
408
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:55,933
That's it!
409
00:14:56,033 --> 00:14:59,833
Yeah, go on, the, uh, team.
410
00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,267
HOT & COLD: Go on.
Go on.
411
00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:02,300
That's it.
412
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:03,233
Oh!
413
00:15:03,333 --> 00:15:05,667
HOT & COLD: What
a waste of space.
414
00:15:05,767 --> 00:15:08,300
Is there enough of Pete, Meg?
415
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:09,700
Um, yeah.
416
00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:19,533
You can get yourself started
in my room if you want.
417
00:15:25,933 --> 00:15:27,567
Yes!
418
00:15:27,667 --> 00:15:28,467
Get him!
419
00:15:28,567 --> 00:15:29,467
Yes!
420
00:15:29,567 --> 00:15:30,433
HOT & COLD: Yes!
421
00:15:30,533 --> 00:15:33,600
[inaudible]
422
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,967
[crying]
423
00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:38,400
[inaudible]
absolutely humiliated.
424
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,200
God, I could never
go back there again.
425
00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:41,567
Of course you can.
426
00:15:41,667 --> 00:15:43,933
And they want me to work
on your birthday brunch.
427
00:15:44,033 --> 00:15:44,833
Right.
428
00:15:44,933 --> 00:15:46,633
You can't go back there.
429
00:15:46,733 --> 00:15:47,700
I know how we'll handle this.
430
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,633
We'll show them acting skills.
431
00:15:49,733 --> 00:15:50,533
Go get your phone.
432
00:16:00,233 --> 00:16:03,400
He's gone to bed.
433
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:05,133
Oh, hello, yes.
434
00:16:05,233 --> 00:16:07,100
It's Bun-- yep.
435
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,367
(DEEP VOICE) It's
Dr. Bunton here.
436
00:16:10,467 --> 00:16:12,133
Yeah, um, unfortunately
I just need
437
00:16:12,233 --> 00:16:13,767
to tell you that Bunny
will not be able to come
438
00:16:13,867 --> 00:16:15,267
into work tomorrow.
439
00:16:15,367 --> 00:16:18,033
I'm afraid that she has--
440
00:16:18,133 --> 00:16:20,900
in fact, she's died.
441
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,500
What from?
442
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:23,567
Oh.
443
00:16:23,667 --> 00:16:24,467
Choking.
444
00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:25,300
Choking.
445
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,067
Um, on-- it was on a-- it was--
446
00:16:28,167 --> 00:16:29,500
it was a choc ice.
447
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:30,467
Yeah.
448
00:16:30,567 --> 00:16:31,767
Yeah.
No.
449
00:16:31,867 --> 00:16:33,267
No, that would melt. Sorry,
if you just let me finish.
450
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:35,133
It was actually-- it was a--
451
00:16:35,233 --> 00:16:37,933
it was a choc ice wrapper.
452
00:16:38,033 --> 00:16:38,833
Wrapper.
453
00:16:38,933 --> 00:16:39,767
Yeah, god knows.
454
00:16:39,867 --> 00:16:41,167
God knows.
455
00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:42,700
Even as I'm saying it, I
just can't quite believe it,
456
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:45,100
but, uh, yeah, she wanted me
to tell you that she couldn't
457
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,100
actually come to work tomorrow.
458
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,067
As she was choking,
she said that, yeah.
459
00:16:49,167 --> 00:16:50,867
Yeah, so no work for her.
460
00:16:50,967 --> 00:16:51,800
All right.
461
00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:53,567
Bye.
462
00:16:53,667 --> 00:16:55,500
[clapping]
463
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,600
Where did you go?
464
00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:02,867
Shower.
465
00:17:02,967 --> 00:17:03,933
Were you dreaming about me?
466
00:17:04,033 --> 00:17:04,833
Yeah.
467
00:17:04,933 --> 00:17:06,467
Having nightmares.
468
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,000
Touche.
469
00:17:08,100 --> 00:17:09,667
You just put some
more lipstick on?
470
00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:10,667
Maybe.
471
00:17:10,767 --> 00:17:12,133
You done that for me, Keswick?
472
00:17:12,233 --> 00:17:15,500
You realize I'm just gonna
kiss it all off, don't you?
473
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,933
OK.
474
00:17:18,033 --> 00:17:20,167
You've got it all
over your teeth.
475
00:17:29,567 --> 00:17:30,867
LAURA: Ah, Gaz.
476
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:32,433
[phone buzzing]
477
00:17:39,867 --> 00:17:42,033
[grunting]
478
00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:53,300
Morning.
479
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,400
MEG: What do you tell people?
480
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:02,633
Do you still say
single, or what?
481
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:03,800
Look, I told you.
482
00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:05,133
Labels just complicate things.
483
00:18:05,233 --> 00:18:06,200
It is what it is.
484
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:07,633
Is what it is
is what people say
485
00:18:07,733 --> 00:18:10,000
when something is a bit shit.
486
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:13,433
Do you think it's a bit shit?
487
00:18:13,533 --> 00:18:15,167
No.
488
00:18:15,267 --> 00:18:23,067
But, well, I would like to know.
489
00:18:23,167 --> 00:18:24,167
Know what?
490
00:18:24,267 --> 00:18:25,967
When are we gonna
get a mortgage?
491
00:18:26,067 --> 00:18:28,033
Why do girls always do this?
492
00:18:28,133 --> 00:18:28,933
Do what?
493
00:18:29,033 --> 00:18:30,500
Over think everything.
494
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,033
Look, if you're not happy,
don't come around anymore.
495
00:18:33,133 --> 00:18:34,767
No one is forcing you to see me.
496
00:18:34,867 --> 00:18:37,333
Fine.
497
00:18:37,433 --> 00:18:40,267
I won't.
498
00:18:40,367 --> 00:18:41,733
I won't come round anymore.
499
00:18:41,833 --> 00:18:43,233
If you want to see me, then
you have to come to mine.
500
00:18:43,333 --> 00:18:44,133
Deal.
501
00:18:49,333 --> 00:18:52,600
So are you still coming
to Laura's birthday brunch.
502
00:18:52,700 --> 00:18:53,500
When?
503
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:54,533
Now.
504
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:55,767
- I can't.
- Why?
505
00:18:55,867 --> 00:18:56,767
I've got a date.
506
00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:03,500
Right.
507
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:04,867
Everybody ready?
508
00:19:04,967 --> 00:19:05,767
Yep.
509
00:19:05,867 --> 00:19:07,133
Yeah.
510
00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:09,633
ALL: Happy birthday--
511
00:19:09,733 --> 00:19:11,833
To me.
512
00:19:11,933 --> 00:19:12,767
Happy birthday--
513
00:19:12,867 --> 00:19:13,667
Laura!
514
00:19:13,767 --> 00:19:15,833
--to me.
515
00:19:15,933 --> 00:19:18,733
Happy birthday to me.
516
00:19:18,833 --> 00:19:20,800
Happy birthday to me.
517
00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:21,700
GARY (ON COMPUTER): No!
518
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,233
Laura, don't!
519
00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:26,433
Gary, you fucktard!
520
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:27,400
I'm sorry, Laura.
521
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,767
I didn't know I
was getting treats.
522
00:19:28,867 --> 00:19:30,200
LAURA (ON COMPUTER): Yeah,
well, you were getting
523
00:19:30,300 --> 00:19:31,333
treats for being so
nice, but you're never
524
00:19:31,433 --> 00:19:32,533
getting treats ever again.
525
00:19:32,633 --> 00:19:33,933
Yes, Laura.
526
00:19:34,033 --> 00:19:35,100
Sorry.
527
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:36,500
Happy birthday.
528
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:37,933
Oh, shut up.
529
00:19:38,033 --> 00:19:39,467
You did look fit though.
530
00:19:53,100 --> 00:19:54,533
[buzzing]
531
00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:10,600
Terribly sad.
532
00:20:10,700 --> 00:20:13,000
She was such a wonderful human.
533
00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:15,067
Such a dear, dear friend.
534
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:25,000
Happy birthday.
535
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:26,533
Thanks, mate.
536
00:20:26,633 --> 00:20:27,833
This is not for you.
537
00:20:27,933 --> 00:20:30,467
Oh my god, they love me.
538
00:20:30,567 --> 00:20:31,567
What's going on?
539
00:20:31,667 --> 00:20:34,900
I am an amazing actor
is what is going on.
540
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,867
OK, I feel a bit bad about it.
541
00:20:36,967 --> 00:20:38,267
I may have pulled
a cheeky sicky,
542
00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:40,267
but they're being
really nice to me now.
543
00:20:40,367 --> 00:20:42,233
Because they
think you're dead.
544
00:20:42,333 --> 00:20:45,233
I can't help it if I'm
such a convincing performer.
545
00:20:45,333 --> 00:20:48,900
We'll probably all have a really
big giggle about this later on.
546
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,167
Percy's a hoot.
547
00:20:50,267 --> 00:20:51,967
Where is he, then?
548
00:20:52,067 --> 00:20:53,633
Who, Hot & Cold?
549
00:20:53,733 --> 00:20:54,733
Not coming.
550
00:20:54,833 --> 00:20:56,467
Is dating someone else.
551
00:20:56,567 --> 00:20:57,467
Who gives a shit?
552
00:20:57,567 --> 00:20:58,500
I definitely don't.
553
00:20:58,600 --> 00:20:59,367
I've got my mates.
554
00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:01,467
It's my best mate's birthday.
555
00:21:01,567 --> 00:21:02,400
Let's brunch.
556
00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:03,167
Let's party.
557
00:21:03,267 --> 00:21:05,000
I just want to dance.
558
00:21:05,100 --> 00:21:06,700
There's no music playing.
559
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:07,600
Don't need it.
560
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,500
OK, maybe put some music on.
561
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:13,700
Are you OK, Meg?
562
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:15,133
Yeah, I just want to dance.
563
00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:16,633
I think we should all dance.
564
00:21:16,733 --> 00:21:18,000
Come on!
565
00:21:18,100 --> 00:21:19,800
Woo!
Yeah!
566
00:21:19,900 --> 00:21:20,733
Woo!
567
00:21:20,833 --> 00:21:23,433
Yeah!
568
00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:24,900
Yeah, yeah!
569
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,600
Are you sure you're OK, Meg?
570
00:21:27,700 --> 00:21:29,500
Yeah, why wouldn't I be?
571
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,300
You've got tears
rolling down your cheeks.
572
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:33,700
I think you might
be right, Laura.
573
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,767
I think he was a
bit of a bell end.
574
00:21:35,867 --> 00:21:37,033
But who cares?
575
00:21:37,133 --> 00:21:38,500
It's cool.
576
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:39,433
I'm cool.
577
00:21:39,533 --> 00:21:40,800
So cool.
578
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:41,767
It's cool, OK?
579
00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:43,500
It's cool.
580
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:44,433
Totally cool.
581
00:21:44,533 --> 00:21:45,367
It's so cool.
582
00:21:45,467 --> 00:21:47,200
So, so cool.
583
00:21:47,300 --> 00:21:48,467
Exactly!
584
00:21:48,567 --> 00:21:49,400
Shots!
585
00:21:53,233 --> 00:21:54,700
Happy birthday!
586
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:58,133
Thank you.
587
00:21:58,233 --> 00:22:03,667
Let us take a moment to
pay tribute to the sad death
588
00:22:03,767 --> 00:22:05,467
of one of our company.
589
00:22:05,567 --> 00:22:08,833
I'm sure we all have
fond memories of Bunny
590
00:22:08,933 --> 00:22:11,800
as a great team player.
591
00:22:11,900 --> 00:22:13,733
Let us have a moment's prayer.
592
00:22:18,633 --> 00:22:20,533
Surprise!
593
00:22:20,633 --> 00:22:22,533
[inaudible]
594
00:22:22,633 --> 00:22:23,567
I got you!
595
00:22:23,667 --> 00:22:26,200
I'm not really dead.
I was just acting.
596
00:22:26,300 --> 00:22:27,333
I tried to tell you.
597
00:22:27,433 --> 00:22:29,967
I'm an actor!
598
00:22:30,067 --> 00:22:31,933
Can I have a part now?
599
00:22:32,033 --> 00:22:33,200
Get her out.
600
00:22:33,300 --> 00:22:34,333
What?
601
00:22:34,433 --> 00:22:35,200
Oh.
602
00:22:35,300 --> 00:22:36,933
Oh, no.
You don't understand.
603
00:22:37,033 --> 00:22:37,833
I belong here.
604
00:22:37,933 --> 00:22:40,600
I belong with you!
605
00:22:40,700 --> 00:22:42,467
I do!
39093
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