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1
00:00:04,567 --> 00:00:07,367
[phones ringing]
2
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:12,033
Oh, hello.
3
00:00:12,133 --> 00:00:13,733
Uh, my-- my card's not working.
4
00:00:13,833 --> 00:00:17,100
I think it might
have been cloned.
5
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:18,633
OK, Ms. Keswick.
6
00:00:18,733 --> 00:00:20,267
It's miss, actually.
7
00:00:20,367 --> 00:00:22,100
I'll read out your
recent transactions.
8
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:24,233
Booze Busters, PLC, 38 pounds.
9
00:00:24,333 --> 00:00:25,333
Guilty.
10
00:00:25,433 --> 00:00:27,567
A direct debit for
superamazingpuzzles.com,
11
00:00:27,667 --> 00:00:29,267
22 pounds.
12
00:00:29,367 --> 00:00:31,167
And one recent payment to--
13
00:00:31,267 --> 00:00:32,033
oh.
14
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:33,267
What was it?
15
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:38,400
53 pounds at
breastenhancercups.co.uk.
16
00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:40,233
Fraud or what?
17
00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:41,433
Is it?
18
00:00:41,533 --> 00:00:42,367
No.
19
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,833
MEG (ON PHONE): [inaudible],,
just wondering, how much money
20
00:00:49,933 --> 00:00:51,200
have you got at the moment?
21
00:00:51,300 --> 00:00:53,700
50 P. You excited
about tonight?
22
00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,900
Well, no, obviously, because
we can't afford to go out.
23
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,433
But it's [inaudible].
24
00:00:58,533 --> 00:00:59,367
Oh, hang on.
25
00:00:59,467 --> 00:01:02,067
Bunny's ringing me.
- Mega-mix.
26
00:01:02,167 --> 00:01:03,567
Hang on, I'm a bit busy.
27
00:01:03,667 --> 00:01:04,867
You rang me.
28
00:01:04,967 --> 00:01:05,967
Return, please.
29
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:07,367
Meg, I was just wondering.
30
00:01:07,467 --> 00:01:08,800
- I haven't got any money.
- Fine.
31
00:01:08,900 --> 00:01:09,733
I'll ask Laura.
32
00:01:09,833 --> 00:01:11,167
Just asked her.
33
00:01:11,267 --> 00:01:13,833
Uh, nice try, but clearly
these have all been worn.
34
00:01:13,933 --> 00:01:15,733
Oh, shit.
35
00:01:15,833 --> 00:01:17,833
Shit.
36
00:01:17,933 --> 00:01:18,767
Shit.
37
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,200
[laughter]
38
00:01:37,533 --> 00:01:38,567
No.
39
00:01:38,667 --> 00:01:40,400
You can't have an advance.
40
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:41,667
All right, well do excuse me.
41
00:01:41,767 --> 00:01:44,000
I need to have a word
with my colleagues.
42
00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:46,233
- OK.
- He's bluffing.
43
00:01:46,333 --> 00:01:47,533
Money people always do this.
44
00:01:47,633 --> 00:01:48,633
I saw it on the telly.
45
00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:49,733
We just need to call his bluff.
46
00:01:49,833 --> 00:01:50,833
Agreed?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
47
00:01:50,933 --> 00:01:51,733
Wait, wait.
48
00:01:51,833 --> 00:01:53,133
Meg, what?
49
00:01:53,233 --> 00:01:56,100
Malcolm, unfortunately,
we are looking for a higher
50
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,000
investment opportunity.
51
00:01:58,100 --> 00:02:00,267
So with that in mind,
I'm afraid we will
52
00:02:00,367 --> 00:02:02,100
have to withdraw our assets.
53
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,133
What assets?
Your tits?
54
00:02:04,233 --> 00:02:06,300
No, ourselves as employees.
55
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,800
I'm afraid, Malcolm, we're out.
56
00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:11,067
Well, see you later, then.
57
00:02:11,167 --> 00:02:12,633
I'll need your uniforms back.
58
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:13,833
All the [inaudible] best, girls.
59
00:02:13,933 --> 00:02:14,800
Thank you.
60
00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:16,167
Is this part of the plan, Meg?
61
00:02:16,267 --> 00:02:17,700
Because, uh, it feels like
we just lost our jobs.
62
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:19,133
We did, yeah.
63
00:02:19,233 --> 00:02:21,800
Laura, now that I am no
longer your authority figure,
64
00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:23,167
would it be out of
the question to take
65
00:02:23,267 --> 00:02:25,267
you on that dinner date?
66
00:02:25,367 --> 00:02:26,700
I'd rather you'd kill me.
67
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,100
Go on.
68
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:29,767
MEG: OK, not to worry.
69
00:02:29,867 --> 00:02:30,833
Nobody worry.
70
00:02:30,933 --> 00:02:32,200
Do not worry.
71
00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:33,567
I've got a plan B.
72
00:02:33,667 --> 00:02:35,300
You need money, don't you?
73
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:36,500
No.
74
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:37,733
Just thought I'd pop in.
75
00:02:37,833 --> 00:02:39,133
Everything's absolutely fine.
76
00:02:39,233 --> 00:02:41,500
Your brother said
you asked him for food.
77
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,700
Gussing little shit.
78
00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:44,867
It was a joke.
79
00:02:44,967 --> 00:02:46,100
Why aren't you at work?
80
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,533
I could ask you the
same question, mum.
81
00:02:47,633 --> 00:02:50,833
I always pop home at
lunchtime for a pork sandwich.
82
00:02:50,933 --> 00:02:52,367
I really hop that's
not a euphemism.
83
00:02:52,467 --> 00:02:53,700
Depends what
mood your dad's in.
84
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:54,867
Gross.
85
00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:56,567
Well, we get very
tired at bedtime.
86
00:02:56,667 --> 00:02:59,700
In many ways, it's actually
the worst time for intercourse.
87
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,100
Why are you telling me this?
88
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:04,433
Anyway, we've decided
you've sponged quite enough.
89
00:03:04,533 --> 00:03:06,767
The bank of mom
and dad is closed.
90
00:03:06,867 --> 00:03:08,433
Please!
91
00:03:08,533 --> 00:03:09,833
I just need enough
to tide me over
92
00:03:09,933 --> 00:03:12,100
while I deal with this
whole bloody saga.
93
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,000
What saga?
94
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:13,933
Losing my job.
95
00:03:14,033 --> 00:03:15,700
Oh, Meg!
96
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,767
That was the bit I was
supposed to not tell you.
97
00:03:24,767 --> 00:03:25,867
Soup?
98
00:03:25,967 --> 00:03:27,633
LAURA: Is this the
only food we've got.
99
00:03:27,733 --> 00:03:28,800
We are going to
starve to death.
100
00:03:28,900 --> 00:03:31,100
Guys, good news.
101
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,033
I've got an audition
to play a busty redhead
102
00:03:33,133 --> 00:03:33,967
in a super commercial.
103
00:03:34,067 --> 00:03:36,033
How is that good news?
104
00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:37,633
Oh, yeah, I've
got a job and all.
105
00:03:37,733 --> 00:03:40,167
Oh, well it's a job interview,
but it's at Uncle Sam's to be
106
00:03:40,267 --> 00:03:41,667
a waitress, so it's in the bag.
107
00:03:41,767 --> 00:03:45,233
Well, these are both long
term selfish solutions to what
108
00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:47,967
is a very immediate
shared problem.
109
00:03:48,067 --> 00:03:49,233
Meg, will you calm down.
110
00:03:49,333 --> 00:03:50,433
Everything's going to be OK.
111
00:03:50,533 --> 00:03:52,500
Don't forget it's
Appocolash tonight.
112
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:53,667
Oh, yeah.
113
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:55,900
We can sell our Appocolash
tickets to buy food.
114
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,400
Ow, Laura!
115
00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:59,233
You're not thinking
straight, are you?
116
00:03:59,333 --> 00:03:59,967
No.
117
00:04:00,067 --> 00:04:01,133
Sorry, Laura.
118
00:04:01,233 --> 00:04:03,267
It's just I-- I haven't
eaten for a day,
119
00:04:03,367 --> 00:04:06,467
and I'm really hungry, and I'm
scared about not having a job.
120
00:04:06,567 --> 00:04:08,167
And I think I might die.
121
00:04:08,267 --> 00:04:10,000
In other words, you
need a good night out.
122
00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:11,433
Really?
123
00:04:11,533 --> 00:04:13,633
Because what it feels like
I need is a good meal in.
124
00:04:13,733 --> 00:04:14,967
Let's all meet
in town tonight,
125
00:04:15,067 --> 00:04:16,233
and we'll take
you for a makeover
126
00:04:16,333 --> 00:04:17,633
to take your mind
off the fact that you
127
00:04:17,733 --> 00:04:19,333
have no money and no future.
128
00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:20,700
OK.
129
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,100
And wear something slutty so
the boys will buy us drinks.
130
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,400
Might they buy us food?
131
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,333
OK, test me.
132
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:27,367
OK.
133
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:30,367
A busty redhead in
revealing clothes--
134
00:04:30,467 --> 00:04:31,933
That's me.
135
00:04:32,033 --> 00:04:35,600
--struts in with
a glass of wine.
136
00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:40,000
This sofa-- it's 599 pounds.
137
00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:40,933
Nah, mate.
138
00:04:41,033 --> 00:04:41,833
They always say 5-9-9.
139
00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:43,800
It sounds cheaper.
140
00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:46,667
This sofa is only 5-9-9.
141
00:04:46,767 --> 00:04:48,333
Oh, yes.
142
00:04:48,433 --> 00:04:51,267
And are you going
to do an accent?
143
00:04:51,367 --> 00:04:55,100
Arr, this sofa,
it only be 5-9-9.
144
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,033
What were that?
145
00:04:57,133 --> 00:04:58,933
It was supposed to
be a regional accent.
146
00:04:59,033 --> 00:04:59,833
Why?
147
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:01,067
Was it bad?
148
00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:02,300
Where are you
supposed to be from?
149
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,800
Anywhere but boarding school.
150
00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:06,367
Right.
151
00:05:06,467 --> 00:05:09,067
We have a work hard, play hard
philosophy here at Uncle Sam's.
152
00:05:09,167 --> 00:05:10,067
We want you to be happy.
153
00:05:10,167 --> 00:05:11,767
Customers pick up on that.
154
00:05:11,867 --> 00:05:13,100
We pool all the tips.
155
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:16,500
We offer free meals,
and-- oh, hello.
156
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:17,400
A late comer.
157
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:18,233
Yeah, come on in.
158
00:05:18,333 --> 00:05:19,800
Grab a drink and sit down.
159
00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:20,733
Ah, yes.
160
00:05:20,833 --> 00:05:24,200
You must be Laura Wiley.
161
00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:25,767
Is that right?
- Yeah.
162
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:26,733
Here you go.
163
00:05:30,233 --> 00:05:32,100
OK, uh, you've got a wine.
164
00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:36,000
Right.
165
00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:37,667
Yeah, actually could
you get rid of it?
166
00:05:48,633 --> 00:05:51,200
OK, um, let's make
a start, shall we?
167
00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:52,733
Let's go around the
room, and I want
168
00:05:52,833 --> 00:05:56,100
you to tell me in three words
what brings you here today.
169
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:57,800
I'll start.
170
00:05:57,900 --> 00:06:02,633
Fresh new challenges.
171
00:06:02,733 --> 00:06:06,900
Uh, good career opportunity.
172
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:07,900
Fantastic.
173
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,667
Fired for attitude.
174
00:06:10,767 --> 00:06:13,700
OK, uh, Jonathan?
175
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:14,967
It's a bit complicated.
176
00:06:15,067 --> 00:06:17,500
Just three words, Jonathan.
177
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,067
Sexual harassment case.
178
00:06:21,833 --> 00:06:22,633
Good.
179
00:06:22,733 --> 00:06:23,933
OK, fantastic.
180
00:06:24,033 --> 00:06:24,867
Yeah.
181
00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:27,967
That's-- yeah.
182
00:06:28,067 --> 00:06:29,767
Cracking.
183
00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:30,700
Hey, I'm Stu.
184
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:31,967
I'm the director.
185
00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:33,500
This is Sam, the producer.
186
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:34,633
Hi, I'm Bunny.
187
00:06:34,733 --> 00:06:35,533
Great.
188
00:06:35,633 --> 00:06:37,600
Yeah, this is great.
189
00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:38,533
Are you local, Bunny?
190
00:06:38,633 --> 00:06:39,433
Yeah.
191
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:40,600
[inaudible]
192
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:41,567
Sorry?
193
00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:42,767
I-- I live in [inaudible].
194
00:06:42,867 --> 00:06:43,667
OK, great.
195
00:06:43,767 --> 00:06:44,867
Cool.
196
00:06:44,967 --> 00:06:46,167
We should go for one.
197
00:06:46,267 --> 00:06:47,267
In your own time, Bunny.
198
00:06:51,167 --> 00:06:55,633
(UNRECOGNIZABLE ACCENT)
This sofa is only 5-9-9.
199
00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:01,400
Yeah.
200
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:04,933
Uh, should we-- let's
try a different accent.
201
00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:06,467
How about Liverpool?
202
00:07:06,567 --> 00:07:07,467
(BAD ACCENT) Eh?
203
00:07:07,567 --> 00:07:08,267
Eh?
204
00:07:08,367 --> 00:07:13,733
This sofa is only 5-9-9, like?
205
00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:15,267
Uh, Irish?
206
00:07:15,367 --> 00:07:17,467
(BAD ACCENT) Let me
tell you about this sofa.
207
00:07:17,567 --> 00:07:19,233
This sofa is only 5-9-9.
208
00:07:21,933 --> 00:07:23,233
How about Birmingham?
209
00:07:23,333 --> 00:07:24,933
BUNNY: Birmingham,
Birmingham. (BAD ACCENT)
210
00:07:25,033 --> 00:07:27,200
This sofa is only 5-9-9.
211
00:07:30,967 --> 00:07:32,000
Well, we'll be in contact.
212
00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:33,100
Thank you very much.
213
00:07:43,467 --> 00:07:45,767
[laughter]
214
00:07:45,867 --> 00:07:47,700
OK.
215
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,933
It's the moment of truth.
216
00:07:50,033 --> 00:07:51,433
We're about to find
out who has made
217
00:07:51,533 --> 00:07:54,300
it through to the next training
round in Harrowood tomorrow.
218
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:55,933
I'm going to split
you into two groups.
219
00:07:56,033 --> 00:07:58,900
Please step aside
when I call your name.
220
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:03,233
Group A-- Laura
Wiley, Jonathan Hough.
221
00:08:03,333 --> 00:08:04,667
Oh, hang on a minute.
222
00:08:04,767 --> 00:08:06,767
Everyone else, group B.
223
00:08:06,867 --> 00:08:08,600
This can't be right.
He's a perv.
224
00:08:08,700 --> 00:08:10,067
Sorry, yes.
225
00:08:10,167 --> 00:08:13,700
Uh, we'll create a group C.
Jonathan, you're group C.
226
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,300
Thought so.
227
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:21,900
The group going
to Harrowood is
228
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:26,833
group B. It's group
B. Congratulations,
229
00:08:26,933 --> 00:08:27,767
group B. Well done.
230
00:08:27,867 --> 00:08:28,967
I'm sorry.
231
00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:30,700
Um, what about group C?
232
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,233
Yes, sorry.
233
00:08:32,333 --> 00:08:35,900
Everyone in group C can reapply
when things get cleared up.
234
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,233
What about group A?
235
00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:38,533
I'm afraid it's
an outright no.
236
00:08:38,633 --> 00:08:41,067
So I've lost out
to a sex offender.
237
00:08:41,167 --> 00:08:42,533
Alleged sex offender.
238
00:08:42,633 --> 00:08:43,433
Alleged.
239
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,033
Knobheads.
240
00:08:49,133 --> 00:08:50,100
Sorry about that.
241
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,767
So is it for a
special occasion?
242
00:08:55,867 --> 00:08:57,267
Yeah, [inaudible].
243
00:08:57,367 --> 00:08:59,800
Get huge
[inaudible] of makeup.
244
00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:01,667
What are you wearing
tonight, Meg?
245
00:09:01,767 --> 00:09:03,033
This.
246
00:09:03,133 --> 00:09:04,267
LAURA: Oh, what are them?
247
00:09:04,367 --> 00:09:05,967
Like a fucking
[inaudible] or something.
248
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:07,367
Right, this is an emergency.
249
00:09:07,467 --> 00:09:08,133
Help her.
250
00:09:08,233 --> 00:09:09,533
No, really, I'm fine.
251
00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:10,833
So let me see your paws.
252
00:09:10,933 --> 00:09:12,100
What's wrong with my paws.
253
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,933
Well, it's just
that they're visible.
254
00:09:15,033 --> 00:09:16,267
I can cover them
up for you though.
255
00:09:16,367 --> 00:09:17,900
[stomach growling]
- Oh.
256
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:18,833
That was my stomach.
257
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:20,433
It wasn't a fart.
258
00:09:20,533 --> 00:09:22,467
Right, so my eyes,
personally, are
259
00:09:22,567 --> 00:09:24,367
drawn towards the middle
area of your face.
260
00:09:24,467 --> 00:09:26,833
So what I'm going to do is I'm
going to bring down the nose.
261
00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:28,133
Bring down?
262
00:09:28,233 --> 00:09:30,100
MAN: You know, create
the illusion that it's
263
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,733
flatter and less there.
264
00:09:33,833 --> 00:09:35,267
I see.
265
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:37,100
And then we'll see what we
can do about those eyebrows, OK?
266
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,567
BUNNY: Oh, yeah,
definitely the eyebrows.
267
00:09:38,667 --> 00:09:40,800
I think so.
268
00:09:40,900 --> 00:09:44,400
[music playing]
269
00:09:46,733 --> 00:09:50,200
(SINGING) I need a man
that can hold me tight,
270
00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:54,367
make all through the night.
271
00:09:54,467 --> 00:09:55,200
I need somebody.
272
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:56,200
Oh, I need somebody.
273
00:09:56,300 --> 00:10:00,367
Oh, I need somebody like you.
274
00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:01,367
[inaudible]
275
00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:08,367
Every night.
276
00:10:08,467 --> 00:10:09,900
[whistling]
277
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:10,833
So annoying.
278
00:10:10,933 --> 00:10:11,900
[inaudible]
279
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,433
LAURA: Good time, that.
280
00:10:13,533 --> 00:10:15,133
Blokes will be falling over
themselves to buy us drinks.
281
00:10:15,233 --> 00:10:16,400
I'm not having this.
282
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:18,233
Excuse me, you can't
do that, you now?
283
00:10:18,333 --> 00:10:20,600
It's rude or-- or
illegal or something.
284
00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:21,767
God, no.
285
00:10:21,867 --> 00:10:23,267
Sorry, we weren't
whistling at you.
286
00:10:23,367 --> 00:10:24,400
Oh, good.
287
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:26,100
No, we was whistling
at those two pretties.
288
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,500
You all right, mate?
289
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:35,533
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
290
00:10:35,633 --> 00:10:36,933
Just think my blood
sugar's a bit low.
291
00:10:37,033 --> 00:10:38,033
Come on.
292
00:10:38,133 --> 00:10:39,133
Let's make the
most of that pout.
293
00:10:55,100 --> 00:10:57,567
Three more tap waters, please.
294
00:10:57,667 --> 00:10:58,400
I don't get this.
295
00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:00,233
Why is no one buying us drinks?
296
00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:01,733
Meg, keep square on!
297
00:11:01,833 --> 00:11:03,667
BUNNY: Maybe they're intimidated
by our threateningly good
298
00:11:03,767 --> 00:11:04,567
looks.
299
00:11:04,667 --> 00:11:05,500
LAURA: Right, play a game?
300
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:06,767
Oh, yay!
301
00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,600
Paper, scissors, stone.
302
00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:10,567
One, two, three.
303
00:11:10,667 --> 00:11:11,633
Right, Meg.
304
00:11:11,733 --> 00:11:12,900
Your forfeit is you've
got to go the bar
305
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,767
and get a bloke to
buy you a drink.
306
00:11:14,867 --> 00:11:17,967
Absolutely not.
307
00:11:18,067 --> 00:11:19,400
Oh my god.
308
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:21,600
They called me back for a
second audition tomorrow.
309
00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:22,800
Oh, nice one.
310
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:23,800
Uh, Meg, see if you
can get champagne.
311
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:25,200
I'm not doing it.
312
00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:26,333
Is this your bag?
313
00:11:26,433 --> 00:11:27,100
Yeah.
314
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,433
All right, go fetch.
315
00:11:29,533 --> 00:11:30,367
Bunny!
316
00:11:30,467 --> 00:11:32,133
But I've got to
do another accent.
317
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,467
You got any ideas?
318
00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:34,467
Uh, Ukraine.
319
00:11:34,567 --> 00:11:35,400
No, no, no.
320
00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:36,633
It's got to be
from a real place.
321
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:42,867
Hello.
322
00:11:42,967 --> 00:11:44,400
Crowded, isn't it?
323
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:46,833
Yeah.
324
00:11:46,933 --> 00:11:48,333
Have you been here before?
325
00:11:48,433 --> 00:11:49,233
No.
326
00:11:52,367 --> 00:11:56,367
I like your t-shirt.
327
00:11:56,467 --> 00:11:58,833
It's very sexy.
328
00:11:58,933 --> 00:12:01,233
Raw.
329
00:12:01,333 --> 00:12:02,600
All right, thanks.
330
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,300
I'm Meg.
331
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:09,467
Ed.
332
00:12:09,567 --> 00:12:11,667
Ed.
333
00:12:11,767 --> 00:12:13,033
Good, Ed.
334
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,533
Do-- do you give good head, Ed?
335
00:12:15,633 --> 00:12:16,533
What?
336
00:12:16,633 --> 00:12:18,333
I don't know.
337
00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:20,400
Are you getting a drink, Ed?
338
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:21,767
Yeah.
339
00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:23,400
So we're both
getting drinks then?
340
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:24,333
Yeah.
341
00:12:27,667 --> 00:12:28,900
Well, you go first.
342
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,100
No, um, after you.
343
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,433
No, honestly, you go first.
344
00:12:33,533 --> 00:12:34,467
No, I-- I won't.
345
00:12:34,567 --> 00:12:35,600
Look, can I take
your order, please.
346
00:12:38,433 --> 00:12:40,067
I'll get these then, shall I?
347
00:12:40,167 --> 00:12:41,933
[inaudible] taps, please.
348
00:12:42,033 --> 00:12:45,767
All right, well, I'll
just pay for it then.
349
00:12:45,867 --> 00:12:46,700
All right, cheers.
350
00:12:55,300 --> 00:12:56,133
Oopsy.
351
00:13:01,367 --> 00:13:04,967
BUNNY: What about Isle of Wight?
352
00:13:05,067 --> 00:13:06,267
Fuck's sake.
353
00:13:06,367 --> 00:13:08,533
Blokes don't buy girls
drinks in bars anymore.
354
00:13:08,633 --> 00:13:09,833
That's just something
that happens
355
00:13:09,933 --> 00:13:12,667
to Cameron Diaz in rom coms.
356
00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:14,033
BUNNY: Oh, I'll do it!
357
00:13:14,133 --> 00:13:15,500
Right, eyes.
358
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:16,300
Target locked.
359
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:17,633
Looking away, looking back.
360
00:13:17,733 --> 00:13:18,933
He's coming over.
361
00:13:19,033 --> 00:13:20,400
You do the talking, and
I'll just ignore him.
362
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,200
Bollocks!
363
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,800
That did not work.
364
00:13:23,900 --> 00:13:25,067
Is this the party table?
365
00:13:25,167 --> 00:13:26,500
- Hello, I'm Bunny.
- Hi, Bunny.
366
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:27,333
I'm Jonathan.
367
00:13:27,433 --> 00:13:30,967
Oh my god, it's the sex pest.
368
00:13:31,067 --> 00:13:32,100
That was a misunderstanding.
369
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,567
I was never found guilty.
370
00:13:33,667 --> 00:13:35,000
Can I get you a drink?
371
00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:36,233
Yeah, you can buy
us all the drinks.
372
00:13:36,333 --> 00:13:37,533
I'm sorry.
Can you just keep talking?
373
00:13:37,633 --> 00:13:39,667
I really need to hear
accents for research.
374
00:13:39,767 --> 00:13:40,767
How fun for me?
375
00:13:40,867 --> 00:13:42,933
(BAD IMPRESSION)
How fun for me.
376
00:13:43,033 --> 00:13:44,300
Well, I'm going to the bar.
377
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:46,100
(BAD IMPRESSION) Well,
I'm going to the bar, so.
378
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,933
A bottle of wine,
please, Jonathan.
379
00:13:48,033 --> 00:13:49,633
A bottle of wine?
380
00:13:49,733 --> 00:13:51,067
Uh, yeah.
381
00:13:51,167 --> 00:13:52,700
I'll sort out everyone for wine.
382
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,667
Actually, can I have a fajita?
383
00:13:55,767 --> 00:13:56,600
What?
384
00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:57,500
Chicken or [inaudible].
385
00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,333
I don't mind.
386
00:14:00,433 --> 00:14:02,367
Oh, you're the funny one.
387
00:14:05,767 --> 00:14:07,167
What the hell, Meg?
388
00:14:07,267 --> 00:14:08,700
You can't ask a bloke for food.
389
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:09,767
It's like fifth date stuff.
390
00:14:09,867 --> 00:14:10,667
Why?
391
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:11,767
It's the same price.
392
00:14:11,867 --> 00:14:12,700
Oh, god.
393
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:13,700
I'm so hungry.
394
00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:14,833
I honestly think I might faint.
395
00:14:14,933 --> 00:14:16,233
Listen, when he
comes back, we grab
396
00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:17,967
the wine and go, all right?
397
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:19,800
I want to talk to him more.
398
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:22,000
No, you want him
to buy you food.
399
00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:23,000
Meg, we're not drinking.
400
00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:24,300
He's someone on the register.
401
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,267
Can I just say I'm not
actually on any registry
402
00:14:26,367 --> 00:14:27,133
at all?
403
00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:28,033
Oh, whatever.
404
00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:29,067
We all need toilet.
405
00:14:29,167 --> 00:14:31,200
- No, we don't.
- Yes, we do.
406
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:36,533
Well, I don't agree with
going to the toilet in bars.
407
00:14:36,633 --> 00:14:38,200
Oh, just leave her.
408
00:14:46,233 --> 00:14:47,233
I'll get another.
409
00:15:11,933 --> 00:15:15,400
[music playing]
410
00:15:17,733 --> 00:15:20,567
My lawyer says I'll get off
because there's no evidence,
411
00:15:20,667 --> 00:15:23,500
but the accusation's enough.
412
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:28,433
She wanted to destroy me,
and in a way, she has.
413
00:15:28,533 --> 00:15:30,800
Zoinks.
414
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:32,333
You poor thing.
415
00:15:32,433 --> 00:15:35,500
If it's any consolation, you
don't seem like a sex offender
416
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,033
to me.
417
00:15:37,133 --> 00:15:39,367
I'd never take
advantage of anyone.
418
00:15:39,467 --> 00:15:40,700
No, me neither.
419
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:41,900
Obviously.
420
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,367
That-- that goes without saying.
421
00:15:43,467 --> 00:15:45,233
Uh, all right, Meg, come on.
We're off now.
422
00:15:45,333 --> 00:15:46,000
Oh, no.
423
00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:48,200
I think I'm gonna stay.
424
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:49,167
Right.
425
00:15:49,267 --> 00:15:50,300
What's he been saying?
426
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:51,533
He can buy you a
kabob or something?
427
00:15:51,633 --> 00:15:53,667
No, he-- he's all right.
428
00:15:53,767 --> 00:15:54,600
I like him.
429
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:55,500
Right.
430
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:56,833
Fine.
431
00:15:56,933 --> 00:15:58,667
What does no mean?
432
00:15:58,767 --> 00:16:01,100
Uh, no means no.
433
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:02,267
Is this a rape test?
434
00:16:02,367 --> 00:16:03,667
Yes.
435
00:16:03,767 --> 00:16:05,367
You do realize that that won't
actually guarantee my safety.
436
00:16:05,467 --> 00:16:06,100
Right.
437
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,733
Text us when leave here.
438
00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:09,633
Again, not a guarantee.
439
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,100
I'll be honest.
440
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:17,600
Now that we've made the
joke I do feel a bit safer.
441
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:18,533
One for the road.
442
00:16:26,167 --> 00:16:27,167
Tonight was fun.
443
00:16:29,767 --> 00:16:31,333
Can I kiss you?
444
00:16:31,433 --> 00:16:32,233
OK.
445
00:16:34,833 --> 00:16:35,867
Actually, sorry.
446
00:16:35,967 --> 00:16:38,767
I just00 I just
need you to say yes.
447
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:39,700
Oh, right.
448
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:40,600
OK.
449
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,200
Um, uh, yeah.
450
00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:44,533
Uh, yes, you may kiss me.
451
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:51,567
- Shall I get us a--
- Kebab.
452
00:16:51,667 --> 00:16:52,633
--cab.
What?
453
00:16:52,733 --> 00:16:53,533
What?
454
00:16:53,633 --> 00:16:54,867
A-- a cab?
455
00:16:54,967 --> 00:16:55,800
Yeah.
456
00:17:08,867 --> 00:17:10,333
Are you looking for something?
457
00:17:10,433 --> 00:17:11,233
No.
458
00:17:11,333 --> 00:17:12,000
No, no.
459
00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:14,467
I was, um--
460
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:21,033
I was just thinking maybe we
could get some food involved.
461
00:17:21,133 --> 00:17:23,833
Oh, kinky.
462
00:17:23,933 --> 00:17:25,867
Is that what you want?
463
00:17:25,967 --> 00:17:27,000
Yes.
464
00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:28,067
Then it's OK.
465
00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:38,000
Mmm.
466
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,467
Mmm.
467
00:17:39,567 --> 00:17:40,367
So juicy.
468
00:17:44,833 --> 00:17:46,300
Mmm.
469
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,667
So salty.
470
00:17:54,267 --> 00:17:55,567
Oh!
471
00:17:55,667 --> 00:17:58,600
It squirted.
472
00:17:58,700 --> 00:17:59,533
OK.
473
00:18:04,567 --> 00:18:06,833
Oh!
474
00:18:06,933 --> 00:18:08,533
What flavor is that?
475
00:18:08,633 --> 00:18:10,500
Uh, berry medley.
476
00:18:13,967 --> 00:18:14,867
Oh, yeah.
477
00:18:14,967 --> 00:18:15,900
Down it goes.
478
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,000
OK.
479
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:20,367
Mmm.
480
00:18:24,833 --> 00:18:25,700
No way.
481
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:26,700
Do you want me to stop?
482
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:27,767
Yes!
What?
483
00:18:27,867 --> 00:18:28,667
No.
484
00:18:28,767 --> 00:18:29,633
No.
485
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:32,600
This is fine [inaudible] OK.
486
00:18:36,133 --> 00:18:38,200
Oh my god.
487
00:18:41,367 --> 00:18:42,167
Oh!
488
00:18:55,333 --> 00:18:56,167
OK.
489
00:19:02,667 --> 00:19:05,633
That's a whole pancake.
490
00:19:05,733 --> 00:19:06,567
Sexy.
491
00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:10,967
Yeah!
492
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,533
Oh, it's cold!
493
00:19:16,633 --> 00:19:18,000
Oh!
494
00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:20,633
Oh, fucking yes!
495
00:19:20,733 --> 00:19:21,633
This turning you on?
496
00:19:21,733 --> 00:19:22,533
Yes!
497
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,867
Oh!
498
00:19:28,967 --> 00:19:29,933
Soy sauce?
499
00:19:30,033 --> 00:19:31,000
Oh!
500
00:19:33,567 --> 00:19:34,400
Oh!
501
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:35,767
Oh, yeah!
502
00:19:35,867 --> 00:19:36,800
OK.
503
00:19:36,900 --> 00:19:38,167
No, Meg.
No, Meg.
504
00:19:38,267 --> 00:19:39,367
- Oh, fucking hell!
- Meg!
505
00:19:39,467 --> 00:19:40,300
Meg!
506
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:41,567
- Oh, this is so good.
- No, Meg.
507
00:19:41,667 --> 00:19:42,800
Stop!
Stop!
508
00:19:42,900 --> 00:19:43,533
Stop!
Stop!
509
00:19:43,633 --> 00:19:45,967
Meg, stop!
510
00:19:46,067 --> 00:19:49,167
This feels wrong.
511
00:19:49,267 --> 00:19:52,167
Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
512
00:19:52,267 --> 00:19:53,067
You're absolutely right.
513
00:19:53,167 --> 00:19:56,033
I should heat it up.
514
00:19:56,133 --> 00:20:10,033
[inaudible]
515
00:20:10,133 --> 00:20:11,833
She's back.
516
00:20:11,933 --> 00:20:13,400
Uh, your agent
tells me you've been
517
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:16,033
working on a new
regional accent for us.
518
00:20:16,133 --> 00:20:18,000
(BAD SCOTTISH
ACCENT) Aye, I cannot
519
00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:20,667
wait to tell you all about it.
520
00:20:20,767 --> 00:20:23,467
I have been eating haggis
up in the highlands,
521
00:20:23,567 --> 00:20:28,633
and I have been working on
my Scottish all night long.
522
00:20:28,733 --> 00:20:31,633
[laughter]
523
00:20:37,367 --> 00:20:38,167
Ugh.
524
00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:47,400
Ilkley?
525
00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:48,300
Fuck.
526
00:21:10,433 --> 00:21:12,767
You off, then?
527
00:21:12,867 --> 00:21:15,167
Um, yes.
528
00:21:15,267 --> 00:21:18,033
Uh, sorry about the, uh--
529
00:21:18,133 --> 00:21:22,067
Oh, it's-- there's a train
station at the end of--
530
00:21:22,167 --> 00:21:23,900
actually, maybe you
should get a cab.
531
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,700
Do you need some cash?
532
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,100
Uh, no.
Honestly.
533
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:28,100
No, no.
It's fine.
534
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:29,533
I've got a 20 here you can have.
535
00:21:38,667 --> 00:21:40,267
Keep it.
536
00:21:40,367 --> 00:21:41,333
Seems like you need it.
537
00:21:58,200 --> 00:21:59,033
Oh my god.
538
00:21:59,133 --> 00:22:00,433
Did he assault you?
539
00:22:00,533 --> 00:22:01,267
No.
540
00:22:01,367 --> 00:22:03,100
Funny thing, I assaulted him.
541
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:06,500
Yep, got so hungry I used
a man as a human plate,
542
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,800
then stole money from him
like a genuine hooker.
543
00:22:09,900 --> 00:22:11,333
I'm getting pretty
desperate, too,
544
00:22:11,433 --> 00:22:14,467
because, um, my commercial--
it won't pay me until it airs.
545
00:22:14,567 --> 00:22:16,467
You got commercial.
546
00:22:16,567 --> 00:22:21,533
That is unbelievable--
"ly" great.
547
00:22:21,633 --> 00:22:24,833
Anyway, good news is Malcom's
decided to unreplace us,
548
00:22:24,933 --> 00:22:27,367
so we'll be getting a two
week advance in our wages.
549
00:22:27,467 --> 00:22:29,267
So we won't be skint anymore.
550
00:22:29,367 --> 00:22:30,400
Really?
551
00:22:30,500 --> 00:22:31,367
Why?
How?
552
00:22:31,467 --> 00:22:32,300
Dunno.
553
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:33,200
It's weird.
554
00:22:37,067 --> 00:22:39,633
May I say you're looking lov--
555
00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:40,567
We agreed no talking.
556
00:22:47,733 --> 00:22:49,000
Yes.
557
00:22:49,100 --> 00:22:50,200
All the way to the brim, please.
558
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:54,767
MAN: If you want a sofa
and you want to save,
559
00:22:54,867 --> 00:22:56,300
come on down to sofa nation.
560
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,900
This recliner sofa only 4-9-9.
561
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,900
(NOT BUNNY'S VOICE) This
modern leather sofa only 5-9-9.
562
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:07,900
MAN: Sofa Nation
sale ends Sunday.
563
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,000
God I'm good.
35369
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